During a friend’s dinner party the other night a heated battle of the sexes began on the subject of females carrying condoms. Not sure how the conversation started but the sticking point was whether or not a female with a stash of prophylactics was a loose or just being safe.
My homegirl Tasha was at the center of the debate, holding it down for the females. She argued that just because she cares about her own health and doesn’t want to rely solely on a man to bring protection she shouldn’t be labeled a “slut.” In her defense, it is almost 2009 and AIDS, as well as many other STDs, is still a major problem in our community. With that in mind, Tasha makes it a point to keep some condoms handy at the crib just in case something jumps off with a male companion. Although I don’t expect a female to have a bag of Jimmy’s on stand by, I can understand Tasha’s logic and would greatly appreciate her and her stash if I were caught condom-less when something was about to go down.
My boy Mark, however, viewed things completely different. Mark felt that if he was at a girl’s crib for the first time and she had a whole bunch of condoms in her nightstand, he’d look at her suspect. “That means you’re fucking a lot, and I just happened to be the one to get it tonight,” he argued.
That of course, threw Tasha into a fit. She countered, “So, Mark, are you a hoe for carrying condoms?”
“Nah, I’m a guy.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I wear condoms, you don’t. So why should you have them?”
“Because I want to be safe and protect myself.”
“I hear you, but I don’t know, that still sounds a little loose to me.”
“Oh, so I’m loose now.”
“Nah, nah, I’m just saying…”
As this back and forth went on, more folks chimed in. I, of course, had my own thoughts on the subject and as with anything, I think everything depended on the scenario and circumstances. As I stated early, I come from a school of thought where it’s a man’s responsibility to carry/have protection. Just like Mark said, we wear them so we’re expected to have them. Now, does that mean I feel a woman shouldn’t have her own supply? Of course not, it just all depends on the situation.
If a female and I have been intimate already and I happen to be at her house without being strapped, I’d gladly appreciate it if she had a spare condom or two on hand for me. The key word(s), though is one or two. Now if a chick busts out with a Glad bag full of prophylactics in different shapes, sizes, styles, colors, flavors, and brands like she has stock in a rubber company, I’m gonna look at her a little funny. Yeah, she’s protected and offering variety for her partner, but sometimes too much can be, well, too much.
In such a scenario I probably would be inclined to agree with Mark’s thinking and assume this chick gets down pretty regularly and I’m just the lucky winner that particular night. The same might happen if I’m out with a girl out and a condom just happens to fall out her purse. I’d be like, “How often are you caught out there where you need to carry a condom with you?” Because truth be told, I only carry condoms when I’m scheming on some booty. Other than that, I leave my stash at home where the action is more likely to be going down anyway. At the end of the day, a man or a woman doesn’t carry/have condoms unless they are having or plan on having sex. So if a female has a large stash of condoms I’m gonna think one or the other. Whether or not that’s a good thing depends on the situation.
Just to clarify, I’m not saying women shouldn’t have condoms because I feel like every grown woman that’s sexually active and dating regularly probably has at least a box of Jimmy’s somewhere in her crib. Maybe she got it for free at a party, or she keeps it on stash in case of emergencies. Besides, women know better than us when they’re going to have sex because they’re the ones that decide anyway. So if a female knows in advance that when she invited me to her house for dinner that she’s gonna give me some if I play mycards right; why wouldn’t she pick up a box of condoms in case I wasn’t carrying? If that’s the case, then I wouldn’t look at a woman sideways.
While I can understand a woman scheming on some new dick not knowing what brand, style or size he is copping an extra box or two for variety, it’s all about appearances. If she pulls open a drawer and it’s filled to the brim with rubbers and lubricants, I might be inclined to question your lifestyle just a little bit. There’s nothing wrong with a woman protecting herself, it’s just a matter of not ODing because at the end of the day I’d much rather be protected than infected.
Where do you guys stand on this issue? Should women carry condoms and keep some on stash in their cribs? Is it solely a man’s responsibility to carry them? Fellas, what do you think when a girl pulls out her own supply of condoms? Ladies, has a guy ever questioned your past because you had condoms?
Speak your piece….