You are here: Home » Relationships, Love & Marriage » The Crying Game (Brooklyn We Go Soft)

The Crying Game (Brooklyn We Go Soft)

Posted by NWSO • January 14, 2009 • Printer-friendly

thats-a-man

Stand in the middle of any party anywhere in the world and randomly shout out, "Is Brooklyn in the house?" Chances are at least one person will reply with a resounding, "Yes!" Whether or not that person is actually from the borough of Kings is another thing. There's just something about BK. It gave birth to countless icons and has a proud reputation to uphold. That's why I was so excited about the announcement that MTV was doing Real World: Brooklyn. I figured this was about to be a Dave Chappelle skit come to life, but catching the rerun of the premiere last week, I was supremely let down.

No offense to anyone within the homosexual community, but the cast seems mad “gay” (read lame). The Real World series is notorious for casting gay/lesbian people (and folks from Boston for some reason) so the fact that there are alternative lifestyle people on the show isn't even my gripe here—I'm used to it. As a matter of fact, one of my favorite seasons was Real World: Philadelphia, where two gay guys were cast, including Karamo, the African-American “homo thug” (not my term, just the best descriptor I could come up for those not familiar with him). So I just want to make it clear that seeing gay folks on the show is no big deal for me, but the producers done took it to a whole other level with the casting of "Katelynn," a post-op transgender. Meaning “she” was a he, but got his boy parts turned into girl parts. Hopefully, you all got that.

Now I believe everyone has a right to be who they are inside. If Katelynn was born a male but feels like a female inside, I have no problem with the decision to find a way to resolve that gender conflict. In my opinion, homosexuality isn't a disease. People are born to be who they will be. So once again, let me reiterate that it's not the idea of there being a transgender on the show that raised my eyebrow; it was actually the fact that Katelynn had a straight boyfriend, Mike.

During Katelynn’s introductory segment, she was shown in her hometown prepping to leave for New York before the happy couple canoodled and kissed goodbye. As far as I could tell, Mike is a straight man. Maybe not a manly man, but a man nonetheless. Still, I couldn't grasp the concept of a straight man willingly entering into a relationship with a woman that used to be a man. Sorry, putting my thing inside of an inside-out thing just isn't my idea of a good time. So I was left watching the episode wondering how the hell their relationship came to be.

I'm gonna go out on a ledge and say that Katelynn actually looks like a woman to me. Not a very attractive woman, but I wouldn't have suspected she was a man. So maybe Mike initially thought he was kicking it to a girl when he met Katelynn and by time she told him the truth he was already in love with her. I could see something like that happening. Perhaps, Mike is a better man than most and just didn't care that Katelynn was born male and fell in love with the person not the body. If so, more power to him, but he's on his own with that one. Maybe, Mike is bisexual and he figured he can get the best of both worlds with Katelynn. Who knows? All I know is I couldn't do it. Most of the cats I know would beat that ass and hurl uncontrollably had they found out they were unknowingly talking to someone that was a transgender—post-op, pre-op, it would not matter one iota.

However Katelynn and Mike’s relationship developed, I'm sure it was not easy. Most men are very homophobic and as a former man, she should know that. Now that she is living as a woman, I pray Katelynn is upfront with every male suitor she meets about her gender change before anything physical happens—kissing, hand holding, etc. To do otherwise is leaving herself open for a serious ass whooping. Not to mention that would just be plain wrong on so many levels. Just because you're cool with who you are doesn't mean everybody else will be, so give them the opportunity to decide if they want to pursue anything romantically. But at the same time, I kinda understand that it's probably hard for Katelynn and others like her to reveal the truth to someone and not many people will be open minded enough to even consider a transgendered person as a love interest. But I believe there's someone out there for all of us, even a transgender.

So here's the million dollar question(s): What would you do if you were dating someone and found out they were transgendered? Male or female, would you beat their ass? Is there any scenario possible where you could even consider being with someone that had a sex change? What if you were married for years and never found out your spouse was transgendered until you were on your deathbed; would you be okay with that? What if you fell in love with someone that was transgendered and no one would ever know; could you keep that secret and pursue a relationship? What if your child came out to you and said they wanted a sex change; would you still accept them?

Speak your piece...

wanda

SAVE THE DATE:

The official NakedWithSocksOn.com re-launch &

belated NWSO birthday party.

DATE: Thursday, January 22, 2009

TIME: 6pm to 1am

LOCATION: Rhum Lounge @ Negril Village, NYC

70 W. 3rd St. (Bet. Thompson St. & La Guardia Pl.)

FREE ALL NIGHT

Tagged as: dating, Real World: Brooklyn, sex change, transgender

distinguishedgentlewoman

Dem there's fighting words. I would loose my mind if I found myself in some M. Butterfly/Crying Game situation. I don't know what would hurt more, knowing that I'd been getting it on with another woman or the thought that I'd been lied to. I'm hoping that a man could not have a sex change without leaving telltale signs. Oh God I pray. Hey, to each his own. I have no problem with someone deciding to change their sex. We all need to feel comfortable in our own skin. But someone lying to a partner like that is an ultimate violation. It's like rape. I believe that any transgender individual should be up front with anyone they get involved with from jump. It's just the right thing to do.

And if my child were to come to me and tell me he/she wanted to change their sex, to be honest, I would feel a certain way for a while, but in the end I would always love and support my baby.
Emotional Funk

I have to say that if I were dating and intimate with a man that happened to be a women I would beat the sh^^ out of her and that the honest truth. You can not deceive people and withhold pertinent information like that. See I don't have a problem with any type of people. But that fact is I am straight and I don't want a pseudo man. I say its still a women because ovaries=estrogen=women no matter what is removed. Oh to be clear I would be beating that ass because I hate homosexuals because I don't. But I'd be handing out a beat down for the deception and taking away my choice to decide. I really don't think even if no one would ever know I could do it. I would most likely keep it a secret though but have them move the hell on.
http://www.funkyminds.blogspot.com CChery

I mostly chill in BK, so I was also amped about The Real World coming there and even hoped to bump into the cast members over the summer. After seeing the first episode, I glad we never saw them. One episode down and I'm already done with the season. I'm not even curious to see how things develop. I'm waiting for the next challenge.
D.Grimes

First, I knew that she was a man at some point in her life, the bone structure was a dead give away.

I hate the feel of tiny woman hands, and would have a hard time dating a man with hands the same size as my own. I doubt I would be "tricked" with this nonsense.

Would I beat the woman down if he/she tricked me into an episode? No. It would seem she/he has beaten his/herself up enough already. To go through life feeling like you are in the wrong body, that is bad enough.

Who am I kidding, this type of thing would cause a war.
K-Love

wow...if my son came to me and asked for a sex change, im not sure how i would react. I know i would still love him none the less..but if im dating a dude that used to be a chick, im going to have a problem with that. Im true to myself, if i wanted a girl, i'd have a girl, but I want a man and not a man made man. And bump falling in love, im going to need that person to be honest. Now if she decides to tell me post relationship, i would have and even bigger problem, because now i cant trust her. So either way you put it I would have a problem with it an most men i know would feel the same way. Simply put, i have no intentions on being with a transgender. I would not be ashamed or embarrassed, just more pissed cause this fine speciman of a man, used to have a twat like me..im not with it.
J-Tall

wow, a lot of patriarchy blooming here. ya'll are entitled (to your perspectives). However the post's reminds me of the rationale for why women receive excisions in regions of Africa and other parts of the world...and why women are raped (control and a cultured sense of male superiority).

The rationale is based on creation stories ranging from what is now called Mali and down through the equator and south where, the earth (feminine energy with masculine within) didn't want to be penetrated by Heavenly god (male energy wanting to be loved by the feminine). The Earth's clitoris was an obstacle to the Heaven's member so he forcibly excised it to propagate. The result was a flawed birth of the Jackal. However the children afterwards were twinned (having male and female aspects thus the duality within one aka balance).

Read some books, for more edification. Why does this come to mind so quick well i was just reading an essay to my girl regarding black folks perpetuating the models of patriarchy/colonialism etc under the guise of black liberation. I was showing her correspondence btw creation stories. The essay contained spiritual reference namely from Yoruba text.

Anyway to answer the question...if you stayed around this long. My second sexual partner lived out in Hempstead, behind the tracks where transgenders/homosexual/female prostitute roamed, this was back in the day. She was fine, and I was a newby in the realm of interacting with women. I had seen Crying Game (recalling your previous post and laughing) with my first partner and wasn't disturbed but intrigued. It was a great movie and i want to see it again to get stuff I didn't get then.

Anyway her the second partners place was stuffy and hot, it was summer and it was a one room studio. We spent the entire weekend in her crib. I remember when i laid down with her (we dated 2-3 times maybe just 1-2 this is mad years ago) and I started massaging her breasts and felt marks. She explained she had some benign tumors and they were removed.

Now sista was and i believe still is fine. but then she was FINE. I mean my co-workers (I guess more experienced than i) were like yo duke I'd smash her for hours and still not get enough. I was a new jack and well she was the second sister whose vagina I'd even touched. She had a pretty intense energy about her. I remember when I first saw her through the window of the store I worked and she saw me. yeah eyes connected. I got shook and she went on about her business and then came back like yo' what's good (different vernacular then of course). Basically she saw what she wanted and went for it...what most "manly" men are supposed to do. So she had a pretty masculine (if you want to say energy about her with a fine feminine physique) and strong bone structure.

However i as I mentioned was a newbie in the ways and genitalia of women (regardless of porn nothing beats the real thing...no pun intended). Her clit was sizable and she was hot...i was scared to death man.

The dance scene I was a part of was largely trans and homosexual barring the b-boys i ran with also. She was familiar with both scenes. When we got to where she lived mad trans were like "yo --- what's up who is he, damn tall and fine" to which she laughed (mind you she had a nice husky voice pre-T-Boz) and then the scars and clit thing. I couldn't get an erection. The next day (Saturday) she and i stayed in her crib, hot and shit, she was hot and wanted some...she attempted oral sex...I couldn't do it. Sunday she was like you gotta go.

Now this is pre-celly's, that sunday I went to my man explained the situation and he died laughing. A few elders fell out as well. I though sista was a dude undercover.

I wasn't mad if she was, just wasn't feeling that for me.

Well, i'll not go into the aftermath, other than say she was like fuck this dude (but if I had got it together maybe another story would have happened) and got some ass from someone else. I felt hurt (yeah i was young and dumb) rebounded back to my ex...spent a year of misery with that as a result.

2 years later, knowing officially (after mad cats gigged on me) that she was 100% female. I was feigning to give her what she wanted (back then) but she was pregnant and i was with respect to her situation and really cared for her. She helped me get my first pad in Brooklyn for which I'll never forget and will always be thankful.

And to this day if I see her she still give me that look like you don't know what you passed up. and i don't either.

next lifetime.

also sisters die when i tell this story.

end of story.

peace
http://www.nakedwithsockson.com NakedWithSocksOn.com

Damn homie...

no words for that one.. lol
Hope2Star

Wow! J-Tall LOL... I'm a lover not a fighter so no I wouldn't beat the ass of my boyfriend who was formerly a girl...maybe I'd post his name, number, and address on craigslist under free blowjobs or something but that would be the extent of my wrath LOL...as for a kid who wanted to change their sex, I would feel strange for about 2 mins but I'd have to get over it because the happiness of my child is a parents main goal. Could i be with a transgendered person who was up front. I dunno? An old coworker ( a bisexual woman) was dating for a long time a female to male transsexual and they seemed happy. The only reason (i think) I would pause before dating a F to M would be kids. I want kids, both naturally and through adoption. And obviously natural conception is out of the question and because this country is so fucking backwards adoption for any loving person who has an alternative lifestyle is such a pain. Life is so hard even when its easy I want to make it harder. OK monologue done! lol
http://dopepenmanship.com Clovito

SMH/LOL @ "Most men are very homophobic and as a former man, she should know that."

Katelynn looka like a man, I don't know how people don't see that. I wouldn't keep dating a transgender. It's about preference but also honesty. they need to be upfront from the beginning
chocopina

waay late on this, but from looking at the previews for next week's show (1/21) looks like Katelynn and the boyfriend don't work out...

I wonder what caused the breakup.
VOD

Might not fight, but would DEFINITELY cut things off permanently (no pun intended) and possibly go the way of informing others.