The Walk of Shame

0 Posted by - February 2, 2009 - Relationships, Love & Marriage

walk-of-shame-red

It was an early Sunday morning and I was making a quick grocery store run. As I was walking up the block, I spotted this woman sashaying her way across the street. She was wearing a waist-length bubble jacket with black spandex and high heel boots. Shorty was hella thick and as an avid booty hawker I had to take note. Plus, she was switching her hip extra hard and was walking in the middle of the street. Her walk was mean. At first I thought it was because she either knew she looked fly and was trying to draw attention or she just didn’t know how to walk in 6-inch heels. But the more I watched her, another thought crossed my mind: Maybe she got her back blown out last night and this was her walk of shame.

Now I didn’t know this woman from a hole in the wall, so I could be completely wrong in that last assumption, but she did have the telltale signs of a post-sex creep. It was 9 in the morning on a Sunday and the only reason most people are up that early on a weekend is to go to church. Needless to say, shorty’s spandex ensemble seemed more suited for a Saturday night house party than the House of the Lord. She definitely wasn’t headed to the grocery store in high heels, so chances are she was wore that get up to the club last night and got lucky. Now she’s strutting down the block on her walk of shame. Her jumpoff didn’t even have the decency to escort her to the car. I guess it was a wham bam thank you ma’am affair.

Whether or not shorty was taking the walk of shame, I figured it was a good topic for discussion. We’ve all been there at some point or other. A late night sex session spills over into the next morning and you’re stuck creepin’ out the crib in the same clothes from last night. One of the worst things in the world for any sexually active single is getting caught in club gear during sunlight hours. It’s not really a big deal for guys—we’ll wear that like a badge of honor—but females get it the worst. Chances are if a guy is walking around in hard bottom shoes or slacks in the morning isn’t gonna raise as many eyebrows as a chick in a cocktail dress. So if you’re caught out there all you can do is pray that no one you know spots you—especially not an elder, because they’ll give you that look-at-this-slutty-whore death stare.

What sucks even more is the walk of false shame. That’s when you crash at someone’s crib and didn’t even have sex, but you feel like everyone you pass thinks you got it in last night. Meanwhile, the guy/girl in question stayed on the couch or just had an innocent cuddle session. Doesn’t matter, though, if the streets is watching, people are gonna assume that y’all did the dirty deed and force you to make that walk of shame. Hey, maybe that’s why Raquel never wanted to spend the night when we first started talking. I knew one day it’d all make sense.

So has anyone ever taken the walk of shame? Is it worse for girls than it is for guys? Do guys even feel shame taking that early morning stroll from a lady friend’s house? Or do guys feel more empowered like, Yeah, I hit that? Should a guy always escort a female to her car or train station, or let her take the walk of shame alone? Do some females walk with an extra outfit to lessen the walk of shame? When was your last walk of shame?

Speak your piece…

CRBR005116

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    We still gonna see you… lol

  • Gooch

    saw a similar broad this morning, same thought crossed my mind. Good for her though.

  • New Money

    Walk of Shame beater- big, dark sunglasses.

    LMAO

  • Stormyweathers25 …formerly known as Stormy

    I have to be honest never did this. Perhaps I’m missing something…lol.

  • http://thecocoaluvchronicles.blogspot.com Miss Cocoa Luv

    Ha. I might have done the walk a time or two. Most recently was NY’s Day. I was beyond done the night before so my best friend made me go to her house. I looked a hot mess, 4 inch heels, sweats (panty hose tore) dress that wouldn’t stay completely over my rear, my fur and hair in disarray. I left midday and was praying that I wouldn’t see anyone. And no there was no f-ing going on just a long horrid night lol.

  • Anonymous

    The last time that happened to me I was in Vegas, this guy I was on & off with for years unexpectedly hooked up that night…by the time we woke up it was noon. He had to go handle some biz with some folks I knew so I decided to hang back so I didnt have to see them or more so they wouldnt see me. I stalled & stalled dreading having to be seen in my tight short dress & platforms. I eventually had to suck it up & make the trek to the cab. Walking across that casino floor was horrible! Tuggin at my dress as it rode up and my hair a mess. Tons of old people hitting the slots. What made it worse was the nagging feeling I must look like a prostitute-which on this trip I discovered ran rampant in Vegas (although I guess I would have left in the middle of the night if that were the case). So yeah got lots of looks, but I held my head high till I jumped into a cab. But its soooo not the same for guys!

  • righteous mama

    Yes it can be worse for women if you’re the type who cares what people think. I don’t. Unless it was an uncle or friend of my parents’ or something. OMG how horrifying would that be! I’ve never really experienced a full blown walk of shame in club gear tho. Ideally, a man should escort a lady to her car or cab. But then again that might make the walk much more obvious.

  • http://bourgieadventures.wordpress.com LisaAngelaPamelaRenee

    That’s why you have to slip out really early. That way, only the landscaper or the paper boy will see you. You can’t roll out of bed all late. Besides, what part of the game is that anyway? You ain’t supposed to be sleeping in if it’s just a fling. And it must be just a fling, cuz you’d have brought your clothes (or had some over there already) if it was a steady crush buddy.

  • http://www.superlovelyful.com -h*

    So what makes it a walk of shame? Is it the fact that you have to wear yesterday’s clothes or the possibility that someone might think you got some and surmise that you’re a hussy?

    I’d be more ashamed of being caught out without my hairbrush, toothbrush and some concealer. Who cares what some chucklehead with a dirty mind thinks?

    I think the whole idea of a walk of “shame” says volumes about how women cannot walk around safely in the world or be considered sexual beings without the slut stigma attached.

    You think she might have gotten her back blown out? Maybe she was walking home from her job as a cocktail waitress because she didn’t make any tips that night and had to ride the train? Maybe she had a little too much wine and fell asleep at a friend’s house?

    If women don’t want to get caught out there in club gear the next morning, it’s the worst thing because of SAFETY. We can’t walk down the street in sweatpants and kicks without some dude making comments or feeling entitled to your space . When you’re in club gear, some men think you’re asking for it. Friends and flings alike should make sure you get in a cab and get to home safely ’cause as long as the double standard is alive and kicking, women aren’t safe.

  • sweetshani

    I couldn’t agree more with LISAANGELAPAMELARENEE…..if you are going to sleep over — bring an extra set of clothes with you. Otherwise…..leave at the crack of dawn so you can hurry to your car and to the comfort of your own bed/shower. I have been asked to just stay but if I know I am not going to….I will be in my car by 5:30am!!!!

  • VirogVida

    @ New Money—lmao.
    You gotta have ur morning stunnas on! Completely hungover. Crusty eyes. People look you in the eye because they know that you’re doing the walk of shame. Well actually, you shouldn’t be walking that far. With me, It’s more like a brisk walk to the car. Guys should always walk you to the car. If he doesn’t, you should’ve never let him raid your ark! real talk.
    And you should go straight home, no stops. Whenever you’re trying to be incog-negro, you always see the people that you least expect………..

  • http://counterfeitparadise.blogspot.com crystal

    couldn’t agree more, h*.

    having said that, i used to do the walk of shame in college. spelman and morehouse were damn near across the street from one another making for lots of spelhouse love–and walks of shame.

    the hilarious thing is that when walking back to campus on the early morning tip, i’d see two, three, four other girls doing the same thing in the same sort of outfit. hoodie (with the hood pulled on for anonymity), sweats, sneakers and the requisite ‘booty bag.’

    i don’t go on any walks of shame anymore but i’ve taken plenty of early morning cabrides with huge sunglasses on, coffee in hand and wishing my phone was charged.

  • Boogie Down

    “Haaaaa! I definitly had my share of episodes. Although it is less shamefull to our overbearing egos, men do get to walk with their chin up either or. Because they just play their part. But truth be told there has been many uncomfortable nights trying to high step to the crib and stumbling because I had one to many shots. And because of this I got no shot. Just the sympathy card and a bunch of Care Bear hugs all night. Which doesn’t cut it when the itch is bad. You know the itch!! Only embarassing thing was me coming home at 5 in the am and falling up the stairs, lol. My shins still look like I had played in the Olympic soccer tournament. And that was last weekend. Ouch!
    I hear you on the cake hawking, especially if Lil’ Lady (Benefit of the doubt) had a mean frame. It’s an art to admire such beautly in motion, but it raises the question in mind, “that if she’s out there like that I’m on it like a hornet. Buuuuuzzzz! What’s good with you Ma?! Hhhhmmm…, where you coming from?, where you going?, and the resuable “You need company? Yeah, I won’t look at you wrong, but I will without question have some durty thoughts in mind. Only because I’m either coming back from one myself or I’m just on the hunt.
    So be prepared when the smoove operator comes a calling while your on your walk. It’s only right. Now, do you have a minute. A pretty Lady shouldn’t be walking around these parts all by herself. hmmmmm….

    Boogie Down

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    Come on H*, You know I didn’t make up the walk of shame term, that’s been around since before forever.

    And yes, I believe ONE of the OPTIONS for the unnamed woman that was strutting so early in the am on a Sunday is that her back was blown. Have no idea if it was the case, there were two other options (and maybe many other) she just had back blown tendencies to me. LOL & SMH @ myself

  • Ameretta

    Hmm walk of shame?

    I can say i did that walk teice in my time……Once, I was just too twisted to drive myself home so I stayed at my boys house… Second, well let’s say it was a great night & looked like it! My hair looked like a bird’s nest, I lost two false eyelashes due to festivities. Now that was more embrassing than none..

    But due to my “Walk of Shame” I have learned to carry a extra bag in the back of my car for those “unplanned” visits..

    So from this point on I will never get caught with my night time clothes in the day time!!

    I suggest everybody do the same! Plan for the unexpected!!

  • http://www.superlovelyful.com -h*

    @NWSO

    I know it’s not your invention, but it just irks me that there’s no comparable term to apply to the same situation for dudes. As you said, there’s no shame in a man getting caught out in last night’s clothes. It’s a badge of honor.

    I think Boogie Down’s comment says it best:

    ” It’s an art to admire such beautly in motion, but it raises the question in mind, “that if she’s out there like that I’m on it like a hornet. Buuuuuzzzz! What’s good with you Ma?! Hhhhmmm…, where you coming from?, where you going?, and the resuable “You need company? Yeah, I won’t look at you wrong, but I will without question have some durty thoughts in mind. Only because I’m either coming back from one myself or I’m just on the hunt.”

    I guarantee you the last thought on my mind if I spot a dude with the telltale signs of a hard night of happy would be anything remotely related to thinking “oh, I should try & tap that ’cause he’s out there advertising.”

    But apparently, this is the train of thought dudes have.

    *shakes head*

    As for being caught looking like Saturday night on Sunday morning, the trick to look like you did it on purpose. It’s NYC, you could be going to Set for all they know.

  • Carla

    I have never had the walk of shame because when it’s done I am gone. I carry a overnight bag in my truck with a change of clothing, some flats, and toiletries. I learned this in college when I lived at home so I could say that I stayed at my best friend’s house

  • http://www.sosimpleyetsocomplex.blogspot.com MsBrown

    I’m with you Carla. I never go anywhere without an overnight bag in the truck. You never know what might happen.

  • NativeAmericanQueen

    what if the lady you saw walking was one of the ladies that got caught in a predicament. The Bear Trap I like to call it, men refer to this as coyote ugly. you go home with what u think is a handsome man but when you wake up they are scary hairy or just beasts. Leave ealry and then well you get the idea, but clearly it is a walk oh shame on all sides.
    Because everybody is thinking the same thing…”What did I do last night!”

  • Anonymous

    Well personally I’ve never had to take the walk of shame (thank goodness). But I had a male friend who had to take it a couple of times after our “chill session”….I’ll definitely have to ask him how he felt..

  • Anonymous

    I’m a male that’s taken the walk of shame…..from a sorority house back to my frat house….always a good feeling cuz your stumbling in last nights party clothes while the “good kids” are shuffling to 8am calculus or some bullshit…it has its advantages too…its easy to spot slutty girls cuz they always look at you like “oh he was good enough she let him stay the night” instead of the disapproving look most girls give you and if you are lucid enough to remember their faces those are the girls you hit on at the next party…it has its downsides too, like when you get REALLY drunk and have a FFBF (Freaky Fat Bitch Friday) on wednesday and everyone on campus see you leaving the house thats known to have nothing but VERY large women living there…that shit will put a damper on your sex life AND your social life for a while….believe me I know

  • bobbiperk

    Oh please. There is no Walk of Shame for the Grown and Sexy!