Awkward Moments at the Doctor’s Office

0 Posted by - February 11, 2009 - Funny/Humor, Real Life, Real Talk

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In case you didn’t hear/read, I was laid off from my job week before last. If you’ve ever been unemployed before you know that one of the first things you should do is set up a doctor’s appointment ASAP because God knows how long it’ll be before you get health insurance again. Sorry, $400 a month for Cobra is not in the cards for the kid, so it was definitely time to get the pipes checked. As fate would have it, though, I already had an annual physical scheduled for last Monday.

Although my doctor is pretty cool, the whole experience is always a series of awkwardness. First, you sit in the waiting area with a bunch of strangers that are there for who knows what ailment or disease. For some reason there always seems to be someone that looks like they’re on their deathbed and coughing up a storm. Once you survive the germ field and hear your name called, you’re greeted by your doctor. Although he or she knows your name and all of your personal information, they’re still basically a stranger that just so happens to know what you look like naked with socks on.

I don’t know how it is for the ladies, but guys have to endure extreme bouts of homophobia during the course of a doctor’s visit. I mean, how often do you stand in front of another man, pull down your boxers and let him grab your balls while he tells you to cough? If he didn’t have a lab coat and a medical degree on his wall, there’s no way in hell a straight man would let that ride. Well, unless he were in the red light district and was paying someone to do it, but I digress…

At any rate, the whole grab-ya-balls-and-cough thing has always been weird for me—as I’m sure it is for most guys. My previous doctor would do it on the sly and catch me while I was lying on the exam table. He’d just slip his hand into my boxers and tell me to cough. I guess it all happened so quick there was never any time for much awkwardness. My doctor now has a whole different technique. He’ll be by the sink with his back turned to me and be like, “Stand up and pull your boxers down.”

The first time I was like, “Huh?” And just pulled them down a little. “You mean all the way?”

“Yeah.”

I finally pulled my boxers down to my knees and stood there in all my glory waiting for this stranger to grab my sack and tell me to cough. I have no idea what grabbing balls and coughing tells them, but every doctor does it. I swear it’s all a big inside joke that some wiseass doctor put in the medical handbook years ago like, “We should grab guys’ balls and have them cough. I bet they’ll do it just because we’re doctors and never even ask why.”

Although women don’t have to endure ball grabbing I remember reading on my homegirl Belle’s blog about how she dealt with her own bout of awkwardness. Prior to going to the gynecologist, she always prepped her “special place” for its public viewing by the doctor. As odd as it sounds, I found myself contemplating the same thing. I wasn’t trying to impress my doctor or anything gay like that, but I did opt to do some quick upkeep before my appointment. I mean I had to trim the hedges anyway and since lil’ NWSO was gonna be seen, I figured why not tidy up the place.

The most awkward thing about going to the doctor, though, is actually telling the truth. Like I said earlier, your doctor’s basically a stranger that asks all these personal question. “Does it burn when you pee?” “How many partners have you had in the past six months?” “Have you had anal sex?” It’s all pretty personal for someone you only see once or twice a year tops. But doctors are like priests and you’re supposed to tell them everything—and since they took the Hippocratic Oath they’re supposed to keep everything confidential. But do you really want to tell someone you hardly know that you have the runs, got a bump on your magic stick, you suffer from premature ejaculation or had unprotected sex and want to take an AIDS test? Embarrassment can keep you from doing a lot of stuff, but keeping it real with your doctor shouldn’t be one of them. So just like with the ball grab and cough, you just have to grin and bare it.

So am I the only one that feels awkward going to the doctor? Do you keep secrets from your primary physician or do you tell them everything? Are folks scared to ask their doctor for an AIDS test? Do you groom the field before a doctor’s visit? Do you ever get comfortable flashing your stuff to a doctor? What do you prefer, doctors of the same sex or the opposite? What’s the most embarrassing thing you had to share with a doctor?

Speak your piece…

scrubs

  • VOD

    I tell my doctors everything. My health is more important than keeping a secret due to embarrassment. It’s uncomfortable to “flash”, but it’s being done for my health so I grin and bear it (figuratively). I prefer same-sex doctors for reproductive issues; anyone will do for regular primary care.

    Most embarrassing thing shared with a doctor? That would be too embarrassing to share on here…..

  • LL

    I tell the truth about everything…..

    I have no shame when it comes to getting naked in front of the doctor no matter what sex.

    However, some years ago my regular gyn doc(who happened to be female) wasn’t able to do my appt, she asked would I be okay with another doc for the day I said okay, I am pretty much used to men anyway, because they tend to be older and not anything I would be concerned with.

    I get there and the doc is a fine azz brother! I was done!
    Mad as hell, and feeling self conscious……

    Even worse he had to give me a pelvic exam, he knew I was feeling off, so he decided to crack jokes, while he’s giving the exam(Still haven’t gotten over that one)

    So I have no problem with male doctors as long as they older and ugly. Silly, I know

  • Dee

    I love my doctor, so I never feel awkward in front of her. She delivered all three of my children, so there isn’t much of me she hasn’t seen. I’ve been seeing her since I was 16, so that probably makes thinks a lot more comfortable for me.

    Plus I love that she remembers little things about me…like my husband’s name, she always asks about the girls by name, or how there cousins are doing (she’s also my husband’s entire families primary care physician). I’m never scared to tell her anything, it’s my health and that is one of my number one priorities, especially my reproductive health. I know broads who walked around for a year with a damn STD because they were scared to go to the doctor (dumb asses…)…

    She is truly fantastic, and I never mind going to see her.

    Now, I do fix things up down there everytime I go in, but I also do that on a regular basis anyways so it’s not that big of a deal.

    As far as doctors of the opposite sex go, I had to see a male doctor for a month during the last trimester of my first pregnancy…it wasn’t too awkward.

  • randomgirl

    I had a gyno appt but my dude insisted on getting some the night before. Anyway it was supposed to be a quickie and ended up being a night of rough sex and multiple toy use etc. I wanted to cancel but had already waited months for that appt so I went reluctantly. Anyway my Dr. called me out on it. I guess I was a little sore and uncomforatble during the exam and when he was finished checking me he said I should take it easy with “all the wild sex!” It was embarassing as ever. Then he asked “have you had sex within the last 24 hours?” LOL LOL try within the last 6.

    But to answer your grooming questions, yes I am always extra spiffy and groomed when going to the Dr. ANY Dr. Guess all the years of my mom making sure I had on clean socks, and underwear and q-tipping my ears to death resonates in my head. :)

  • http://inthesunshyne.blogspot.com yes

    I felt weird having a massage by a female, so having one lookin all in your cooch isn’t too great either, but at the same time they understand all your issues better by having the same parts. I try to keep my lady parts clean shaven for myself so definitely gotta do it if someone else is going to see.

  • Soni

    I actually visit the doc alot due to an illness so I have 3 dr.s who all know very personal information about me andmy body. My gyno is a cool guy..lol…he’s bn my doc for like 6yrs and knows everything about me. its not awkward cause we talk first when he comes in. He sits down, crosses his legs and say “so, Whats been goin on?” I like that relaxing period before he takes a peak at my snatch!

    I can say that i perfer men docs over women. In my experience, men are more gentile down there than women. Especially with pap smears, men have no idea how odd that feels having a metal duck shucked up you vag, cold and they telling you to relax..fuck that…you relax! (sorry had a flashback!) and women docs do but those crauds still just poke and prode like a damn butter knife going into a socket!

    I do prep myself down there but I know thats not what they are looking at so as long as I am clean and as I am normally, I am fine.

    But I do see 3 docs more than 2 times a yr andhave to divulge very important information so for the past fives years, doc visits for me is like lunch with the girls! Even the receptionists knows my name aqs I come in and wait…….

  • K-Love

    Being a hypocondriac, I have no problem telling my doctor anything. I think my doctor is the one that feels a little awkward. If there is some wrong or i feel that some may go wrong, I’m on it. And men, the grab and cough is no worse than going to the gynecologist and having them stick a cold peice of metal in your twat and then get the cranking, or when you are pregnant they take practically their whole arm and push it inside you and say “this may be a little uncomfortable” are you shitting me. I do not think there is anything to embarassing to tell my doctor.

  • L

    Yea telling my doctor stuff is awkward because I always think they’re just there judging me and shit. But you gotta do what you gotta do so he /she I tell everything.
    If I need a std or aids test ill just go to the clinic cant face my doctor with that 1 yet

  • Simone

    I prefer doctors of the same sex and yes it is an awkward feeling. Especially when I have to strip and scoot down on the table. It’s basically all eyes on me or in me and don’t forget to add that bright shiny light. The worst part is when they are putting anything in me whether it is their fingers or a cold spectrum, I tense up. Funny how it’s different when being open to sex and not being able to open up for health reasons. The questions do not really bother me, those I can answer but the other – different story.

  • JNatty

    It is important to tell your doctor everything. I have had awkward moments with my doc, especially during the yearly pap smear exam. He always asks me the same thing, “Are you relaxed?” It is horrible. I care not what anyone says, pap smears are akin to the devil.

    On the flip side, my gyno is very cool. My Gen Prac is also a dear. They take my health as serious and sometimes more than I do. When it comes to the questions about my sexual activity/history, I just answer. Am pretty open about stuff like that, minus the details, so it is no biggie to me.

  • http://www.superlovelyful.com -h*

    I love my ladydoctor because she takes the edge off the awkwardness by quizzing you on your health awareness while she’s examining you. She also explains everything she’s about to do so I know why she’s doing it and what she’s looking for. She does her best to make sure that I’m informed. My GP (also a woman) is the same way. When choosing a health professional, I look for a good rapport and a doctor that encourages questions ,is excited about their field and doesn’t think I’m crazy because I ask about alternative/holistic medicines.

    I also make a point to go to the people my friends who are doctors go to themselves. Inside scoop, FTW.

    Your health is nothing to feel awkward about. The more information your doctor has, the better he or she can treat you and make sure you’re healthy. You should also know more about your parents’ medical histories so you can prevent anything you might be susceptible to genetically…cancer, heart disease, diabetes, allergies etc.

  • sassiness

    I would have to say that the first time I got a pap smear it hurt like hell. The second time they used a smaller instrument and it wasnt that bad. But here is the embaraassing thing. A woman gets a vaginal exam along with the pap smear and while I was getting that done..I became turned on by that…and I was so embarassed. I was a teenager and was never sexually active and a woman did the exam…so I was wondering does this make me gay? LOL. Well the best pap smear that I have had would be by my current GYN who is a male and cute so its not that bad.

  • Anonymous

    Women ALWAYS have things worse all around…The pelvic exams/pap smears are the worst. When the Dr. inserts a speculum up there! That ish hurts!!

  • http://fragrantmoments.net Barney A. Bishop

    Thanks for posting this article. Brothers really need to understand the importance of getting over this fear. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer two years ago and guess what, he went to the doctor regularly to get checked. And that was precisely why they caught it early enough for him to be cancer free today. Black men get checked and get checked regularly. A moment of awkwardness can potentially save your life.

  • Ameretta

    Going to my ob/gyn is like going to confession:

    Yes my dear child how can I help you?
    “Forgive me doctor I have sinned…….”

    When was your last check-up?
    “It has been 8 months, 3 weeks & 4 days…”

    My dear child take to 1 birth control pill each day, 8 8oz. glass of water & all is forgiven…..

    “Thank you doctor”

    Naw but really,

    It can be relly uncomfortable talking to your doctor, in my case, og/gyn…You men got it easy, someone grabs your balls & tell you to cough! Please that’s child’s play..We gotta lay down, spread our legs, place them in two metal leg handles, and have an awful metal contraption grap into your inner soul , & someone taking a swipe!

    Yeah, doesn’t sound like fun!

    But all and all STD’s are amongst the highest with individuals between the ages of 16-28….I hope a trip to the doctor won’t deter ppl to get the magic stick or the magic box checked!

  • J-Tall

    yeah I’m with ameretta on that.

    get your stuff checked and with the age bracket mixing btw 16-28 and 30-48 i say everyone ought get checked every 6-12 mths if active…condoms only deter so much and my prevention is everyone i’m down with more than 3x reg must get checked, self included…free clinics in nyc area but none check for herpes aside from a few 3 throughout lower queens (rego park end stop) and 1 or 2 in manhattan, brooklyn don’t know.

    (herpes another conversation…whew so a loaded fucking word and i say this as a health care practitioner in the class (amongst clients) of md as well as knowing folks who’ve experienced it)

    as a newly licensed practitioner, I’ve created a new patient health history form…8 pages…largely b/c we don’t do all the diagnostic exams that a ob/gyn or other does but we do diagnose fully and mines is long b/c i want to know what’s the root of the chronic stuff if there is any.

    being a male practitioner, it is a different experience for femaie and male clients. Being a black male practitoner, triple maybe quadruple that difference.

    i know stuff, clients partners don’t know… in one of my last classes around legalities it was noted that after a priest/ess, doctors/health care practitioners are number 2 in the order of trust and integrity. We are held to a higher standard…and it makes sense. We’re both responsible for assisting humans in maintaining a “healthy” spiritual and physical health. My practice incorporates the mental and environment in that idea of health.

    I’ve had horrible experiences with the conventional U.S. health care system. To the extent that I’ve had to be broke down hard to go and to get nothing really in return but some meds which don’t deal with the shit.

    the system is built on supporting the people when they get sick not making sure people didn’t get sick. Imagine a world where doctors only get paid when their clients don’t get sick. A lot would change as a result b/c largely we get sick from work (doing something distant and non-productive for the community we dwell in and also we don’t do it for fair wage according to the energy from home we expend) and the response to work/stress which is self-medication (overexcess in other areas of life to compensate.

    Anyway it’s fucked and yet we humans find a way to persevere.

    NWSO, go get your prostate checked but you can do it yourself (or with a lover…lol for real SUN). STD’s both ya’ll get checked if ya’ll doing the do regular…and get yourself checked regular if you’re out there.

    On STD’s b/c most of we are Aids Babies (born during the onset era of AIDS), there is that stigma attached from the early 80′s where life expectancy was so short b/c the med system relied on the pharmaceutical system to evolve to control it through drugs rather than other methods, a structural flaw on their treatment rationale…and dealing with a potential epidemic that was largely within the gay white male population in its (supposed) early days.

    I remember a health teacher in a college course expressing the issue then ’92 about getting tested. Many people committed suicide as a result of finding positive results, they thought their life was over.

    So with STD’s it is the same, immediate fear as a dramatic change in life…yet no different from finding prostate cancer or breast cancer late or early.

    Life is about accepting change, God…and being aware of one’s ability to adapt. Each time you go in to the dr. you’re paying…first of all. Put your shit out there…like they’re the waiter in the restaurant and the food sucks so you need the chef to come credit your account. They work for you, not the reverse…

    Second of all…if they are that unnerving sit with yourself and figure out what it is that unnerves you, is it something within or external to you (about them/the atmosphere). Everything you mentioned in the waiting area, lol go to Brookdale, SUN…be happy you have the assets still to not have to go to a spot where gunshot wounds and violent assault are a regular in the waiting room and they wait too…

    Third, watch yourself…i’ll send you some stuff on acupuncture, basically so you can see how other means as you run your destiny full now (no boss man ova you now, you da boss for real, suh) which is a great thing, if you really want to work for self and create your thing. just live life to not get sick…moderation and flow with the season…chill come winter flip out during the summer.

    And lastly Women, ya’ll do historically and present get the WORST of it. The whole of this shit is male dominated. I’mma keep it real, at least 50% of what OB/GYN knows today is offa experimentation with black women/slaves. Harriet Washington wrote a great book called, Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present, worth owning just for the sake of.

    Don’t feel guilty about thoughts or feelings, around going to the doctor, hospital, its in our blood.

    J

  • Anonymous

    YES!!!! I hate it…It is not cool when they put that damn cold forceps down there and probe with their finger, take swabs and what else the are doing when they look down there….I do not want to spead my legs and scoot up….I HATE IT!!!!

  • belle

    Going to my ob/gyn is like going to confession:

    Yes my dear child how can I help you?
    “Forgive me doctor I have sinned…….”

    When was your last check-up?
    “It has been 8 months, 3 weeks & 4 days…”

    My dear child take to 1 birth control pill each day, 8 8oz. glass of water & all is forgiven…..

    “Thank you doctor”

    HILARIOUS!!!

    thanks for the link, Socks
    - Belle

  • Anonymous

    LMAO!! This was such a funny post to me because i work in the heath care field and witness people respond to physicians like this all the time. I’m the total opposite, ask all types of questions, compare my own diagnosis of whatever ailment that brought me in there. I always ask for all of my options when the physician wants to prescribe something for me or schedule a test. Compare costs of the different tests, ask what the latest research is, so forth and so on…

    I believe you have to be on top of your own health and don’t rely on some physician to know what is right for you. Everything is pretty much text book for them and they don’t sway far from that. You have to educate yourself before even walking in there. The medical field is revolved around capital and you are the customer. They prescribe certain brand antibiotics just because they get some kind of kick back. It is usually not because it is the best thing for you. You should know exactly why they need to fondle you testicles! Ask questions, those are the patients that I respect. One that questions the doctor and just doesn’t do what he says. They are human and make mistakes also. Protect yourself. But I digress…

    And ladies ask for the plastic speculum, comes in 3 different sizes. if they use the correct size it should only feel like a super size tampon, tolerable and not uncomfortable. I haven’t used that metal one since i was going to Planned parenthood as a teen:)

    And i prefer a good looking male GYN:) Men are generally gentle and more accommodating to make you feel comfortable. Always makes it easier to put those legs up and spread:)

  • Ameretta

    J-Tall,

    I always admire reading your entries!!!

    Speak on it!

    I’m with you 100% I’m going to check out that book by Harriet Washington…Thanks for opening my eyes!

    Male Practioner, huh? YOU GO BOY!!!!!

    Ameretta

  • queen_vette

    Everytime I switch doctors I am the one cracking jokes I tell them the forceps are like sticking a pencil in a crock pot, the last time I had sex was in the waiting room and so on and so forth. It helps me relax and get to the nitty gritty stuff with a lil less tension in the room. And the worst thing I ever had to tell a doc was that I had sex with my dude he threw the condom on the floor and my dog ate it. The vet assured me that it happens all the time and that too would pass. LMAO

  • Ewadun

    Whew! Can I say it, ” J TALL, J TALL, J TALL!” Thanks for the pull up in all areas.

    I’ve been diagnosed with herpes, 10 years after the encounter! Imagine my shock and even deeper shock when I contemplated my lovers over that period of time. Sure, I went to the doctor with each and everyone of dem, before during and after.

    Years ago, docs used to say you couldn’t get herpes, as long as the symptoms weren’t active. Now there are tv commercials telling ya otherwise. Wonder how many other STD’s have we been lied to about.

    Now we’ve got this HPV thang. I know a brother who got clusters under his balls and around his butt hole. A condom don’t cover dat shit. And, how could anyone give him head and look at those thangs face 2 face? The gyne told me it’s contagious and would show up on my insides. I refused to have sex with dat brother!

    Needless to say, I tell my doctors everythang. And, I ain’t got no problems reminding them that they work for me. I’ve chosen female gyne’s because I get juicy anytime a man just touches me, ugly or not. That used to be really embarrassing to me. My doc’s response was “Most men would find that wonderful,” just embarrassed me more.

    I’m post menopausal now and it still happens.

    Gonna check out that book you mentioned.

  • Heather

    This is fascinating. I think everyone should not only groom the field, but also get their hair and nails did and make sure their make up is just right…. ;-)

  • Cheryl

    This may surprise some, but my boss just happens to be my ob/gyn. He is not only a great employer, but is also the most gentle, understanding, and knowledgeable doc I have yet to know. I’ve been working in women’s health care for nearly twenty years, so there is nothing I have to be embarrassed about. Ladies, come out of the dark ages. Speculums these days are no longer metal. Don’t take your health for granted. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you you don’t like the answers, get a second opinion. Guys, do the same.

    I do favor the male docs over the females. I’ve found them to be better at listening, even though they don’t have the same parts.

  • Elle

    As long as it is of no concern to my current health condition, I lie and I lie and I lie …. until I don’t know who I am.

    Some info might bite me in the butt one day when I’m trying to switch health care providers. I have heard the craziest stories of people being denied health care all together or specific services simply because they admitted to having had a cold in the past. Sad but true.

  • Optical_Illusion

    My OBGYN is a fat old white guy in his 60′s. I’m a cute thick chocolate delight, just 29, two days ago. ;-) Anyhow, I went for my annual (I just got with this doctor, the previous year, so we’ve only met twice), and he’s like “Hello, you look so beautiful. Your skin, it glows.” People tell me I’m pretty all the time, but my vagina usually isn’t sitting bare on their table. So, I’m sitting there with this tissue gown on feeling weird now. He does the exam and we’re just chatting like you do with your doc. But then he starts asking am I married, what do I do with my weekends, etc. When the exam was over, he’s telling me everything looks good, blah, blah, blah and then he goes “You look so beautiful. Dance with me.” I almost passed out!!! I’m a pretty lighthearted person, so I ain’t black out. I just said in a tone that let him know his request was crazy, “You want to dance with me, right here, right now? Do you dance with all your patience after their exams?” He said okay Miss I’ll see you out front soon.

  • Ms. Mpho

    It is reassuring to know that other people have the same concerns when going to the doctor. I usually trim my womanhood and line her up as if she is getting her photo taken. Then I make sure she smells extra sweet, something I always do before someone sticks their face into it. Then, I get to my OB-GYN, the nurse takes your blood pressure, checks your weight and then tells you to undress from the waist down. Each and everytime I ask is she sure…hoping she would say she is just kidding..lol. So Dr. Homsi comes in and asks how I have been lately, if I am strapping up when I have sex, if I have had anal sex, is there any burning when I urinate, you know all those silly ass questions whose answer never changes. So then he is like Ms. Mpho lay back and scoot forward. He then says take a deep breath, this is my hand and then BAM! OUCH I say, as my legs start to close. The Dr. says that I need to relax and take deep breaths. As he cranks the applicator 3 times, I scream in agony. That shit hurts, I can’t speak for everyone, but it does for me. He asks me as he finishes, how in the hell I was able to get pregnant when I won’t allow him to do a pap test. Okay, the torture is over and I feel a little violated. Especially knowing I have to come back in six months for the same thing. I can never get myself syched up enough for the doctor visit. If he was a young, fine doctor I would’ve been totally embarassed and never would I ever let a woman violate me in such a manner.

  • Solely_focused

    I enjoyed reading this and will add my two cents: if its uncomfortable for you, IMAGINE what its like to be in the doctor’s shoes…
    I am a medical student so I am learning to do that, ask all the questions (while trying to keep a straight and understanding face and remain completely unbiased); touch and see things I would much rather not; witness “illnesses” that most people would never want to discuss with anyone due to the embarrassment factor; and do it more then once a day with complete strangers!!!

    Prior to beginning medical school it was creepy enough as a patient…but now that performing these things is expected of me it gets a little more creepier…especially running into John Doe or Jane Doe in the grocery store or any store for that matter and trying to make a mad dash hoping I am not spotted…*smh*

    And one more awkward thing from the doctor’s side is once everyone knows your a doctor or a doctor in training – people just start telling you things and asking you to look at things when your not in the office and trying to live a normal life.
    Its an interesting world

  • LadyJ1967

    I really enjoyed the transparency in these posts. Hilariopus and sobering at the same time!

    Personally, though I have been getting examined for years, I never get used to it! Partially I think it’s my own thinking and the other is presentation, I guess! I must trust and feel comfortable bearing my incidentals to any person before I am really able to be “Naked with Socks on” (no pun intended, ok it was, lol)!

    The more assurance, professionalisn and understanding I receive from the practitional the more I let my guard down. Simply put. “It is true that folk don’t care WHAT you know, unless they KNOW that you care!”.

    After that is established then if it still persists, then it must be my quirky hangups. I know then that I must check myself before I literally wreck myself”.

    Bottom line, I purpose to seek one that I am comfortable with, though its not a rejection of their abilities but just what I need to do what I must do.

    Still laughing bc I can relate to some of the stories…

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    i’m completely honest with my doctors and even try to embarass them with off the wall questions….like someone said b4 they work for us we pay them our hard earned cash so yup get ur pen and pad out and take notes….imma get my money’s worth make you use ur education!…..it’s good to be truthful so when u do happen to come up with “sumthing” u can narrow down who is at fault for not catching it and a nice settlement will await u! LOL

  • http://scotkinnaman.com ScotK

    I find it ammusing that while a male wrote this post, it is rare the man who responded.

  • bill

    my doctor is a women i go every 6 months she gives me a choice i go naked she checkout my penis maks me cum she has even got naked to help me so what

  • http://myspace.com/nexus_da_underdawg da ThRONe

    Clearly I need Bill’s Doc! LOL

    His check-ups come with a happy ending!!! :D

  • CB

    I think you guys have nothing on us women…I mean first we have a cold piece of metal (though some docs are now using plastic) holding us wide open while a brush and another piece of metal are stuck inside of us…then we get “groped” and pushed inside with fingers, and we also get groped anally as well… sorry if it’s a bit graphic but at least you fellas aren’t being poked and prodded as much as we are.

    All in all I love my OB/GYN… she’s the best, very personable and explains everything and tries to make you feel comfortable. I prefer women docs because as a woman they tend to understand your body more, and I also love minority female docs, my OB/GYN is black and she knows the traits and issues common w/ black woman so she and I can relate better than to a white male/female.

  • Jon

    I recently went to the dermatologist because I had lots of warts all over my body. So after the nurse checked me in and left the room I stripped completely naked. I did have 2 warts near my penis and one on my butt so I had to be naked. I did shave my pubic hair that morning so it would be easy to see the warts. The male doctor came in with his female nurse. He didn’t act shocked but she was uncomfortable. She asked me to cover my penis with a piece of the table paper, so I did. When it came time to burn the warts off that area she had the doctor do it. I thought it was odd she was so uncomfortable with it, being a nurse.

  • Missy

    I go the docotr every year. Ihate the fact that he feel s he need to do a MRI for I am to take off all my clothes including my bra except for my socks panties. After that I told to get dressed and then in the exam I am told to undress again I hate this and it is the sam drill every year. I may nee dto chnge doctors and one rthat is not so intrtested in doing unessary MRIs

  • Eliza

    I can’t understand why you all live at the gynaecologist.
    I seen one once in my life and I’m 52.
    Our doctors don’t recommend pelvic exams and breast exams in asymptomatic women, they’re of low/poor clinical value and expose you to risk. (of further investigations and even unnecessary and potentially harmful surgery)
    Pap smears are way overdone in the States and that risks your health.
    Finland has the lowest rates of cervical cancer in the world and they also send the fewest women for over-treatment (caused by false positives) they offer testing 5 yearly from age 30 and most women have only 5 to 7 tests in total. I know some American women my age have had a huge number.
    The more often you test, the more likely you’ll get a false positive and face unnecessary biopsies and treatment – 95% of you will be referred after an abnormal pap smear, that’s huge over-treatment. Pap smears before 25 are unsafe and unreliable and don’t affect the tiny death rate from cancer, 25 to 29 is still considered unethical by our doctors having regard to the harm v benefit ratio. (but you definitely need to be very careful testing before 25)
    With no screening at all, 1% would get this cancer, with screening, 0.35% (one third) will still get cancer (false negatives).
    When 99.35% (incl the 0.35% false negative cases) of women derive no benefit from smears, you should protect yourself from the much greater risk of false positives. Damage to your cervix can cause problems – infertility, miscarriages, problems during pregnancy, more c-sections, premature babies and psych issues.
    Our doctors also offer self test kits, but only 5 yearly from 30.
    As a very low risk woman, I made an informed decision not to screen.
    I feel sorry that you lead such medical lives, it’s all very harmful and totally unnecessary.
    For that that examining and testing your rates of cancer are higher, but the number of unnecessary procedures sky high.
    I was horrified to read that 600,000 hysterectomies are performed every year in the States.
    My American colleagues get their health care elsewhere and avoid the harmful excess that way.
    There is some great information at Dr Joel Sherman’s medical privacy blog under women’s privacy issues. (he’s American)

  • Andi

    Eliza, you go girl!!! Great job in spreading the word out. Too many American women (BTW I am American) are brainwashed from a young age that you “HAVE” to spread your legs for the nice doctor even when you are not having any problems. The facts about all these unnecessary and violating exams/tests are slowly (too slowly unfortunately) getting out to the greater population…unfortuately they are now going after our children. Because more women are now aware of the facts, the gynocological community is now going after our children (they want American girls starting at the age of 13) to employ their pap test and pelvic exam scare tactics trying to ensure another generation’s worth of pap test income. Aside from cervical cancer being a RARE cancer, there is another much more reliable cervical cancer test (the CSA blood test) out there… it’s a simple blood test, not requiring women to spread their legs for the nice doctor. However the American Medical Association does not want to lose the income they make on pap test or the control they now enjoy over women’s bodies (some women anyway)…I never, froma young age, bought into this brainwashing and as far as I’m concerned, violation. I’ve pretty much told my pediatricians as a kid and doctors since I have grown up to pretty much “go to hell” with these exams/tests. Women need to educate themselves and demand the CSA blood test.

  • John Robinson

    I have a problem that most people could never understand. I am too embarrassed to even take my shirt off for ANY doctor. I also refuse to allow a doctor to touch my body anywhere. I’ve been to 5 psychiatrists to find out what my problem is and after years of therapy from phobia therapy to radical acceptance therapy, all 5 have given up. I guess I am just one who will never in their life get a complete physical exam.

  • whatever

    Male, 40′s. I have gone to female doctor and yeah, she did the prostate exam with her finger in my anus and another nurse “observing.” I know they were “professionals” and all that, but I think they enjoyed having control of me like that. I had gone to a male doctor and all he did was slip his finger in and out real quick while I was laying on my side, butt towards him. The female doctor had me put my feet in stirrups and turned the light on right above my genitals. And she took her time applying lubricant to my anus and had the other nurse open my cheeks. I swear they were trying to embarass me! She slipped one finger in and circled around until I clenched up, then she’d tell me to relax, then she slipped two fingers in. I guess she was being thorough. I don’t know. I have my suspicions. The nurse used paper towel/kleenex to wipe the lubricant from my anus afterwards. Oh, and yes, I got a huge throbbing hard-on, which they surely saw because they made no effort to cover my genitals of course! Tell me, is this normal? In any case, I’m kind of disappointed that I had to switch doctors and couldn’t return this year! ha ha

  • savannah

    I’ve had metal speculums used on me in the last 10 years. They are still out there.
    I finally got a female doctor for my 3rd pregnancy, so I’ve had quite a few people doing stuff up there before…and the woman doctor gave me the least painful pelvic I’ve had in my life……I vote hands down for a woman doc for woman parts ;)

  • Eliza

    You do not need these annual exams, they are more likely to risk your health.
    When these annual exams were started in the States, they hadn’t been independently assessed as useful or beneficial. The English did a decade long study, one group got the “annual” while another group, no annual – they found no difference between the groups, the exams did not improve the health of the examined group. Other studies have shown the examined group have heaps more unnecessary tests and surgeries that can be harmful and might even risk your life. Some American women have had healthy ovaries removed after the doctor “felt something”, a false positive – routine pelvic exams are not helpful in symptom-free women. You don’t have to do much research to find these exams risk your health.
    Our doctors don’t ask men to cough while they hold their testicles, it’s not a useful exam unless you have a problem. The rectal exam is no longer done for prostate screening either, men have the option of the PSA blood test but it’s unreliable and many men choose not to have it.
    I think your doctors now rely on the income from these exams and tests, but what an awful way to live your lives.
    The personal questions they ask you as well, I’ve never had a Dr ask me any sort of personal question about my sex life.
    The best thing you can do for your health is to stay away from doctors when you’re well and be VERY careful with cancer screening. The benefits have been oversold to you and your doctors are excessive as well and that greatly increases the risks to your health – there are risks with all screening.
    You have some of the best doctors in the world when you’re actually unwell, but they’re over-the-top and risk your health when you’re well.

  • Eliza

    Why would you put yourself through that and every year?
    These exams are completely unnecessary in a healthy asymptomatic woman and risk your health.
    I have never had an exam of that sort and I’m a fit and healthy middle aged woman. The only test our doctors recommend is a pap test and they are optional, fewer than 1% of women benefit from them while the risk of false positives and harmful over-treatment is very high. Even 5 yearly testing from age 30 sends 35%-55% of women for biopsies over their lifetimes, almost all are false positives. That’s a lot better than your 95% figure though.

    It is up to you whether you want to go through that sort of exam (and in stirrups – horrifying!) but it is totally unnecessary and risks your health.
    Women in the Netherlands and some other countries also have the option of self-testing. No one needs testing more often than every 5 years from age 30.(assuming you choose to test) Even prostitutes, a high risk group, are not tested more often because even their top risk from this cancer is only 1%.
    As a low risk woman, my risk of cervix cancer is near zero. I’m not happy to accept even a 35% lifetime risk of false positives and over-treatment. I’ve always declined screening, the risks exceed the benefits for me. I’ve never needed any sort of gyn exam, I shudder to think if I were American. My friend’s mother (age 65) who lives in Ohio, has had more than 45 pap smears, absolutely ridiculous and an inexcusable risk to her health.

    I’m amazed that most American women think cervical cancer is common, it’s not, it’s rare, always was…false positives and over-treatment are common because this test is unreliable and excessive testing as practised by your doctors, increases the risk even more. That’s why so many of you get abnormal paps and have biopsies and LEEP. The cancer simply doesn’t occur that often – no screening at all, 1% would get it. Look at your risk profile before agreeing to anything.
    Mouth cancer occurs as frequently as cervical cancer, do you go looking for that cancer, treat any odd looking cell and worry about that rare cancer? Of course not…
    A great article that may help some of you is by an American pathologist, Richard DeMay, “Should we abandon pap smear testing” – it’s available online. The statistics will surprise you, I get the impression your doctors have exaggerated the risk to keep you going back and keeping their incomes high.
    At least if you have these exams and test, make it an informed decision.
    I’d urge all American women to do some research, you’re all being horribly used for profits and risking your health.

  • tara

    I do not have pap smears its bull. ITs all about money and control over womans bodys. Its sick and sexist.

  • Jizzmaster

    I dont care because im a guy and my doc is a women so if i show her my pe nis and my balls she looks at them and feels them up and i also walk out of the docters room naked and go to all the ladys with a boner thats 15 inch and they say call me and they give me a bj and i always have sex with my docter in the room all the times

  • Doctor 466

    Every 3 months I go and have to lay on the examine table and the doctor pulls everything off. Don’t like it but have to. She makes me look like a female dresses me in a bra tank top short shorts and hot pink shoes makes me walk around in it for 45 minutes. She takes pictures every time I go their and sticks he middle finger up my butt hole to express my glands and anals glands. She likes doing it and will keep doing it. She makes me where a bra every day for 6 hours. I have to dress up like a girl every day.

  • Horror Writer

    I HATE Physicians or ARNPs or PA-Cs that subsist on routine physicals. Not only are routine physicals worthless {except for children} but most of them don’t even do a thorough physical anyway. Walk In Clinics with very few exceptions don’t give a darn about helping people or they wouldn’t advertise cheap physicals in neon lights and then omit parts of the physical.

  • erika0534

    ummm

    well i had some strange lump in my right breast
    so i told my older sis she told me we have to see a doctor.. she
    planned everything took an appointment etc..

    i am super super super shy so getting undressed is so much uncomfortable to me..

    she
    took me to a female doc she had examined me and i asked if we can be
    alone and not looking directly to me.. afterwards she said i should see
    another doctor ..she thinks the lump is too big and has to be removed
    SURGICALLY ..

    so i was ok with all of that except that the other doc is a male!!

    so i was hoping he wouldnt ask me to undress

    but
    guess what he asked me to. so i couldnt help but i cried infront of him
    i actully didnt think i would go that far my sister freaked out and she
    told me it was ok and whispered that once i gave a baby its not gonna
    be a big deal anymore..

    so i can tell that the doc got kinda mad and he said well ive had female patients all day

    it was really awkward cuz he was about 37 something like that

    the thing that got me really mad is that the nurse was looking at me and the doc asked my sis to go out and closed the curtains

    it was super something i dont think ill get over it but i hope..

  • PETE

    IF YOU HAVE EVER SUFFERED FROM AN INGUINAL HERNIA..YOU WILL FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY A DOCTOR ASKS YOU TO TURN AND COUGH WHILE THEY “GRAB YOUR BALLS ANS PENIS”

  • davfit

    Doctors can be Great or make you feel Like Crap.. I can be naked with guys in gym showers or be on a naked beach and be fine,but when I have to expose myself to strangers (doctors) I get mad, nervous I feel am being treated like a number,a part, with no feelings,I’m not to suppose to feel awkward,if I do I’m a problem patient. Nurses receptionists, have a hugh impact on calming your down, MOST are lousy at it, rude and expect you to tell them all personal information makes you want to tell them to FO and run for door.They are there for money not people ,not to care