Definition of a Jump-Off

0 Posted by - February 17, 2009 - Relationships, Love & Marriage

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It’s come to my attention that some people are a bit confused as to what exactly classifies someone as a jump-off. Over the past few days I’ve continually found myself embroiled in conversations with women about this topic. While there may be jump-offish tendencies in the scenarios they described in their arguments, I think to label it as such would be erroneous.

Case in point, there was this girl Natasha that I dated for a minute. Sex, conversation and everything was great, even still we realized that we wanted different things out of the relationship and decided to part ways amicably. Since we had such a good rapport, Natasha and I felt that just because we didn’t date anymore that mean we couldn’t be cool. So every so often we’d bump into each other at an event or get up for dinner or a movie. As is the case when exes cavort, sometimes, old sparks get rekindled and we’d wind up sleeping together. During one particular stretch of time the intimacy became kind of consistent and Tasha felt the need to have a “talk” with me. Fellas, you know a “talk” is never good for us. LOL.

“Look, Ans, what is this,” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Am I your little jump-off or something?”

“Huh? What are you talking about? You are not a jump-off.”

“Well, I don’t just want to be sleeping with you whenever you want.”

“We both decided to sleep together. I didn’t just call you up and say, ‘Hey, let’s fuck.’ We went to the movies, ate, chilled and just so happened to end up in bed. I didn’t hang out with you just to get in your pants, I hung out to hang out with you because I like your company.”

“Okay, well, I just don’t want to be nobody’s jump-off because I don’t get down like that.”

“You’re buggin’. A jump-off is some person you call in the middle of the night and all you do is fuck and then bounce or kick them out. That’s not what we do. We don’t even have sex every time we get up it just happens whenever. You’re my friend—maybe with occasional benefits—but my friend nonetheless. So, no, you’re not my jump-off.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure but you clarified yourself. So can we do it again? (Laughs).”

I think a lot of women think like Natasha and have things twisted when it comes to defining a jump-off. Just because two consenting adults have sex with no commitment doesn’t mean you’re J.O. status. That just means you had sex. Point blank. Now if that’s all you ever do and you never go out, don’t have actual conversations (sex talk don’t count), and only communicate in the wee hours of the night then you might be a jump-off. Aside from that, you’re an adult engaging in adult activities. If you’re unsure, you can always do what Natasha did and just ask.

So how do you define a jump-off? Do guys and girls have different definitions? Have you ever fallen into jump-off status and didn’t even realize it? Can an ex or friend with benefits be classified as a jump-off? Is anyone willing to admit that they’re a jump-off and proud of it? Are there benefits to being a J.O.? Has any females ever flipped the script and made a guy their jump-off? Whose decision was that? Can a jump-off ever be about more than just sex?

Speak your piece…

woman-dressed

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ P. Lynn,

    Ugh… you and these questions..lol

    Nah, that def sounds funny, but sometimes certain questions too soon can just mess up a groove. Things just have to take their natural order most times, but when someone jumps the gun it throws off the dynamic. Sucks I know

  • http://inthesunshyne.blogspot.com yes

    I usually use the term jump-off to describe the “other person” when you are already in a relationship. Otherwise, I use fuck buddy, dealer, or even business partner. lol And yes jump-offs can be good for other things. Look at celebs, they’re jump-offs get bills paid and travel around the world just like the main chick.

  • P.Lynn

    Ugh..you and these blogs..lol
    Okay so recently I was similar to Natasha and I asked bc I too was confused. But, No he didn’t just answer the question, he cut off all communication with me.
    So if a girl is fuckin a guy she is not allowed to ask any type of questions?
    I understand now that we were just friends w/ benefits and we liked each other. I wasn’t a jump off but, damn did this shit end wrong.
    So here I am feeling all stupid bc everything was perfect until I asked a question.

  • http://inthesunshyne.blogspot.com yes

    once you bring in questions the other person is gonna feel like you want it to be more than what they are trying to give. if ur not down with the fwb situation then you’re better off.

  • EmotionalFunk

    I think the confusion comes in because of all the labels used to make it sound nicer. “Friends,” is a bad choice too ’cause if you really get down to it they aren’t even your friend its just someone who will fuck you but they are in no way really down for you and I mean really down.

    Just be secure about what you doing which is straight fucking and drop the soft and kind sounding labels and keep the biz to yourself. So really I can’t define J.O. other than calling it by what it really is. As for are they’re benefits to it well for one party there usually is but the other get shortchanged not always the other parties fault though

    Now I’ve never knowing feel into “J.O.” status but I have done it for a while with someone and I wouldn’t be cool with it again. Sure ex’s can be classified as one if they want to continue F’n with someone who has already made it clear a relationship is not happening but it something the the “J.O.” willing does to his/herself IMO.

  • DJ CEO

    The only conversations that should go on between you and your jump off should be about sex that’s it. I think the definition is a general one. Like you said Ans, late night text or phone call, come through or I come through, handle the B.I and be out. But in some J.O situations spending the night or at last getting in a quick power nap is ok. It can make things complicated but I can see why people would do it. Like I live in BK and I don’t have a car anymore. If I’m coming to get hit some skins (I’m so 90’s, you gotta love it) at 11:30pm. I might go to sleep after because we in a recession and $40 cab ride one way is enough for me.

  • musicman

    Ans–

    you hit it dead on! The problem is that it requires a level of maturity from both sides to not get “caught up” and communicate clearly.

    Shit we’re grown folk and can behave as such. There’s nothing wrong with a lilttle “James Bond” for either sex. You go out, chill, see a show…and if the spirit moves…you scratch the itch…or not…no pressure but if you do scratch it…there’s no need to put a label on it unless we both agree…That’s not a Jump off.

    A Jump off get’s called less than 12 hours before the event and usually never sees the light of day…

  • jameila

    wow…yea def was in a booty call type situation with one gentleman. It was just easier for me at the time because I really just wanted to be single and didnt want to mess around with anyone new. I had known him for a few years and he was a cool guy but it never really clicked outside the bedroom. But in that bedroom we made some magic and it was toO damn hard to go from having mind blowing sex to…none. lol. So we basically had a cut and dry convo that if ever either one of us was in “need” we knew who to ring up. If either one of us met someone then it was a wrap and safe sex was a MUST!!!! lets just say it lasted only a short while… it became akward to say the least

  • http://www.gangstarrgirl.com Gangstarr Girl

    Hmm, a female flipping the script? Sounds like Boomerang, hee hee hee. Nah, a jump off gets no extras. No convo, no hanging out–nada. Just sex in the middle of the night. Tis all.

    P.S. It’s still wack to get the perks of being in a relationship but not being in one. That’s emotionally draining, at least for women.

  • http://bourgieadventures.wordpress.com LisaAngelaPamelaRenee

    eh. i’m over the term “jump off” altogether.
    however, if I must weigh in, i’d say Budden said it in Pump it Up. The JO, male or female, isn’t going to be expecting anything or giving anything beyond sex. hell, i guess one could be someone’s JO but not really sweat it because he/she wasn’t trying to get boo’d down anyway.

    so essentially, it’s just two people fucking. and what’s so wrong with falling thru if someone who you only see as a sex partner calls up? saying “jump off” just puts a negative spin on something so simple, IMO.

  • YoungJay

    NWSO,

    This is my first time commenting, but I had to tell you that this blog is refreshing. You talk about real issues and provide people a forum to vent anonymously w/out being judged. Thumbs Up Bro!!….

    I think Jump-Off is simply someone who you call for strictly sex. You stated it very well…no calling, no hanging out, not QT. I found myself caught up in a situation (sleeping w/a girl for 5 months) where I was giving a girl a little too much time (movies, dinner, etc.) even though we weren’t in a established relationship. I myself asked “The Question” and to be honest her answer (“Im not interested in nothing serious) turned me off, and I started distancing myself. It was a learning experience though cuz as a guy I was used to always being the person being asked the question…

  • Seriously No Seriously

    Jump~offs, booty calls, Friends with benefits…..just too many dayum labels…WTH!….bottom line if you need to define yourself then define yourself in your actions and voice it…..if there is more to the relationship than sex then your friends who have sex, if you just have sex and nothing else then you’re 2 consenting adults having sex! Plain and simple Someone said these labels are made as to soften the reality of whats going on and I agree somewhat. Labels can serve as a way to clarify relationships but it has only confused so many people because there are no clear definitions set to these labels. So to difuse the confusion communicate people ….use your words! LOL I love labels and will label a person in a minute but I also love honesty and dont believe in sugar coating…..so if you’re a jump~off(someone I have sex~day or night~ with and general convo, no dates or talks of any future plans together other than sex) to me I will let you know be we get down!

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Ameretta

    I think you hit the nail on the head of defining a J.O. but some people mislabel situations as such when their not. Case in point, Natasha above. There are also the people that throw in extra bells and whistles that lead to confusion.

    Someone earlier said it right though, all these damn labels and not enough conversation/discussion for clarity

  • …Says The Single Girl

    I can’t believe that folks are still unclear about what a JO is and isn’t.

    I’m so over this whole deal that at the top of the year I laid it to rest.

    I suggest other folks do the same…

    “During the last few weeks of 2008, I couldn’t seem to escape two words. I would hear them at the dinner table with friends, holiday parties with co-workers and on dates with men who really showed their cards. After being inundated with these seven letters I welcome you to the…
    Memorial Service
    for the Words/Phrase/Mentality of
    “Jump Off”…http://parlourmagazine.com/?p=6582

  • paulette

    They all mean the same thing…FB…Ex with benefits…jump off. It’s someone you’re not committed to beyond an occasional “link up”.

    I’ve never had a jump off if the definition means someone i don’t actually have a convo or connection with outside of bed. I actually care about the men i have or plan to fuck. Cause i want to have a good experience in the sack…the more I know about you the more potential it has to be good.

  • http://www.tlawrites.blogspot.com Tanisha

    Everyone knows what a jumpo off is! You don’t see anyone, you don’t meet anyone, you don’t go anywhere. You get the call, you meet up, do the do, and thats it. The emotional part is pretty much removed. And as soon as the sex gets wack, its a wrap.

    Can it work? Yup. Does it work? For a time. Is it ideal for a GAW or a GAM trying to form a meaningful relationship? Sometimes.

  • Ayanna

    I perceive the term JO pretty negatively, in most cases. However, I do have one in my hometown who I call when I’m single. Early on we fell into our roles, so it always turned me off if he’d try to hang out before hooking up- Why waste time? Lol…. staying indoors was always gonna be more fun than us trying to go out, so it seemed a bit pointless. Other than that guy, I avoid JO status, because we’ll eventually be friends over time OR if the ___ is wack then I lose his number.

  • Ameretta

    “My Jump off doesn’t run off at the mouth as much”

    “My Jump off doesn’t get in the way/She doesn’t want anything on Valentine’s Day!”

    -Joe Budden “Pump it Up”

    Gotta love it!

    I’m confused as to what is the confusion about a “Jump Off” It is how is sounds, you jump on the person and then you jump off!

    When I call during the night, Have your boxers off when I come through the door!

    Straight sex, no movies, no dinner, not much conversation unless it is during sex, and you won’t get anything much from me!!!!!

  • D

    I’m a girl and don’t want to be in a relationship right now so I have a “jump off.” I actually call him my buddy (as in f&*k). I have been perfectly clear from the jump what I wanted and expected from him. There have been times when he has wanted to stay or chat, but that isn’t what a jump off is.

  • da ThRONe

    This just seem like a case were people needs 2 grow up and be adults. The question isnt what somebody think of you and your relationship. The question is how do you feel about the sitiuation. As long as your honest with yourself 1st and real with the other person who cares with label it fits into? If being somebodies J.O. is what works for you then whats wrong with that? If you are secure with yourself it doesnt matter how you “get yours” ,but if the arrangement makes you uncomfrontable then dont do it.

    I dont feel like she should have ask you Ans. It should’ve have matter 2 her how you think of her cause dudes lie all the time(not that im saying you were). I just think her decision 2 sleep with you should be base solely on how she felt about it. In other words if she felt like a J.O. then she was ,but if she was happy how everything was going then you guys continue 2 1 of you change. I mean if you would have said “Yeah your my lil J.O.” would it have made all the hanging out ya’ll non-in-void?

  • nolongerajumpoff

    scene I

    man to woman: “hey babe, can u give me a massage?”.

    woman to man” “nah”

    man to woman: “aw c’mon, you used to, wassup?”

    woman to man: “nah we’re jumpoffs remember?”

    scene II
    man to woman: “im comin ova, need some. U cookin baby?”

    woman to man: “come thru but im not cookin”

    man to woman: “y u used to.. whats wrong?”

    woman to man: “nothings wrong honey u said we were jumpoffs”

    As long as it clear from “jump” that you two are jumpoffs. Then thats what it is. then there is no dinners, no movies, no hangin out, no massages, no showers together, no cooking for the other party, no cuddling.

  • paulette

    I have a hard time believing a “jump off” ever fits the definition defined by whoever came up with the term. And since Anslem tends to know a lot about the women he has slept with…How did you come by that info if you didn’t actually converse with the gal??

    i think fuck buddy would fit 99.9% of what y’all think it is/was…and one night stand fits the .01%.

  • da ThRONe

    @nolongerajumpoff

    I think its ok to have some intimacy. Kinda how Ans was talking about hanging out and chilling it doesnt have 2 be 1 or the other. Personally as a dude if i cant connect with a chick i tend 2 got bored with the sex. I mean sex 4 me is better when i like you. I could just pay 4 it if i wanna just hit with no strings(r.i.p. soulja slim). But with no money envolved I want there 2 be a connection. I can fuck and duck with the best of them ,but if its something we do on a regular basis imma either get close 2 you or lose interest. Not 2 close that i dont understand we’re just fuck buddies but enuff not 2 get bored! unless she got that fire ofcourse! LOL

  • http://brooklife.blogspot.com brook

    all y’all killing me.

    Jump off was described best as ” less than 12 hours from call to jumpin” and “never sees the light of day” plus “no conversation”

    hell anything above and beyond that is a muthaf*ckin understandin between individuals
    B
    ahkeepsitreal

  • Seriously No Seriously

    @ da throne…..that is why there is so much confusion…..the intimacy with sex partners! As time goes on people become comfortable and feelings change. It is human nature to care about a person when certain boundaries are crossed. All that hanging out can be done with your boys or your family. I’m not saying you shouldnt like the person or be attractec to them but going to the movies, dinner or just chilling watching tv or dvd’s can be a very intimate setting and usually the things you do with your S/O so why would you set yourself up for that? But like I said communication is key in any relationship!

  • da ThRONe

    @Seriously No Seriously

    I am mature enuff 2 handle my connection with a sex bubby! The reason why they dont become my girlfriends is because theres something about them that isnt GF material(4 whatever reason). But that doesnt mean i cant kick it with her. Know what you want from that relationship and get it. I cant be responsible if people who cant keep there emotions in check. Maybe males do a better job of checking there feelings. But 4 me(and only me) I cant carry out sexing a chick that i dont like more than a handful of times without getting bored. But I have not been in a J.O. sitiuation in years so maybe im different now but im speaking on my past experiences so 2 each there own!

  • randomgirl

    Really seriously and truly….having / being a jump off has been one of the best things to happen in my life. ( Ok well at least the best thing this year)
    Ladies let me start by stating that we can initiate the jump off status as well. I have clearly indicated to dudes that I am only intrested in the dick. Not them. Why? Because they r not people who I can see myself seriously dating but our sexual chemistry is bananas.we both were cool with our strictly sex relationship. We eventually did sorta start feeling eachother but both got into new relationships so we put our sexcapades on ice for a minute since we both decided to give our new bf and gf a try. I’m not sure its gonna last because our sex together is so amazing I’m sure we will hook up again real soon.
    Oh and did I mention we r coworkers :)

  • Whittle Ole Me

    Are there benefits to being a J.O.? Hell yes! Sex with NSO, my friend. Who wouldn’t want that??? (Well, I don’t anymore, but when I was a young chick I sure as hell did)

    Has any females ever flipped the script and made a guy their jump-off? And yes sir! I used to do it all the time. I had a number of jump-offs, depending on what kind of mood I was in, I could call whomever I pleased. Didn’t mean they couldn’t call me for the same reason, but I’d usually shoot them down.

    Can a jump-off ever be about more than just sex? No, then you’ve broken the sacred JO rules.

  • Sathany

    On the question about ladies flipping the script… lately my friends and I have been having an ongoing conversation about how we feel that the gender roles when it comes to dating have been flipped…

    Especially when it comes to “booty calls” or “J.O” whatever term you use… More of my girlfriends are initiating the status or are the ones making the calls… and then the guys are getting offended when they realize that they are considered just “J.O” They are almost insulted, but at the same time isn’t this the game that they play also?

    It is a myth that men want sex more than women… Women have the same sexual needs as men do, so why is it such a surprise to men that a woman would want to have J.O’s also?

  • da ThRONe

    @Sathany

    It doesnt bother a real man(LIKE ME) but or you and your girls coming out and saying this from the start or do ya’ll play games? Call when ya’ll want it but when he calls ya’ll say no. I dont think theres anything wrong with initiating the J.O. but it is wrong 2 play games.

    I think when somebodies not being 100 thats when things get wrong ,or when 1 person only cool with it @ there convenience thats when i think its weird

  • VirgoVida

    I think everybody’s 2 cents was on point about the definition of a JO. But my pet peeve is when the jumper doesn’t play his/her cards right with the JO, and then the JO thinks he/she is running game on the jumper! I’m mostly talking in terms of the girl being the jumpoff cause I have so many male friends that just seem to be JUMPING out da window with all types of random JOs. For example, one of my close friends. She was the JO of a MARRIED dude. She was bragging, Telling everybody about him. How good the D was, and how good she was throwing it back. He really hung out with her a lot. No place that really counts to me. But they chilled in the neighborhood. Rolled a couple. He called her, she called him, they checked in with each other frequently. I mean, he would chill with her on some friendship shit but then they would eventually hit the hotel. She kept saying that she didn’t want more than a JO type thing with him, But she would always wanna talk about him all the time!!!! So I had to shine some light on her. HE’S MARRIED! U r an escape from his wife. You’re letting him fuck you with no strings and he’s keeping it as real with you as he can. He doesn’t have feelings for you and he doesn’t like you in that way. He’s just going to keep doing the bare minimum so that you don’t close up shop on the free P-U-S-S-Y!
    Moral of the story: Know when you’re the JO, it’s nothing to brag about! lmao.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Toria

    LOL, hilarious. Sorry for the rude awakening, I hope it was at least worth it.

  • Toria

    I was once a j.o. and didn’t realize it until I read this damn articel. Damn! lol

  • http://www.SexyInYour60s.com Sexy Crone

    A sixty four YO woman, I’d never heard of this term, “jump off”. I find it rather annoying, and agree with the gentleman that labels are so misleading. I’ve been in a JO relationship for three years. I call him my lover, he adoringly calls me his old porn star.
    We have a delicious time together, honor and respect each other, but a LT relationship is not in the cards. Neither of us feels used or abused, one learns that leaving drama out of life in general is good for one’s overall health.
    Most of you reading this have no idea what the word ‘crone’ means and why when coupled with the word ‘sexy’, the term becomes an oxymoron.

    Just enjoy life and go with the flow.

  • StoryofaWoman

    One thing that really annoys me about both men and women are that they will both dance in the circle around the issue, well I want sex but I don’t want to initiate is, he/she will think I am desperate/ho, I’ll let him/her ask me first, when the overall main objective is that we are Horney. I have asked dudes to always be up front with me about their intentions; if all it is that they are looking for is a jump off, fuck buddy/kick it buddy/”friend”, then just say so in the beginning and give me the chance to say yes or no. The worst that could happen is me saying no. But I would let a guy know that I’ve had jump offs/kick it buddies/friends and that I might be ok with that at the time. I lay all my cards out. What’s interesting is that there was a guy that I said all this to and he still felt the need to play games to get some pussy. We did end up in bed, and as soon as I left he stopped calling. When I asked what was up, he simply replied “you’re good people, I just see you as a friend…” When I asked why, since I thought he was diggin me, he said “why ask why, it’s just the way it is.” I was confused, if that’s what you wanted then why didn’t you say so? But he was lame cause he messed up, it was good enough for us to maybe hok up again if he was honest about what his true intentions were….so his loss (lol).

    I was thinking about recruiting for new “prospects,” so I was talking to this other guy. I layed out my cards again, and he was looking for someone that would do a three-some, will take it in the booty, even went to great lengths to “persuade” me to let him do it in the booty. So me being the intuitive person that I am, I told him that for a booty call you are asking for entirely too much! (lol).

  • DiffNames

    NWSO,

    There’s a couple ways to determine J.O. status.

    1) Let’s start with the first and worst version of the word J.O.:

    If you ARE a J.O. then that is the worst thing you could be. From a man’s POV if another dude say, “shorty is a J.O.” that means that any dude or groups of dudes have been up in there. If you show shorty a lil bit of attention then you gonna pop. That is the lowest of low. In other words you are a whore, slut or slore, J.O. just sounds a lil bit better.

    2) The next one is not so bad:

    If you say shorty is MY Jump Off that means that she lets you and only you slide up in there whenever without having to think about the relationship dynamic.

    3) This one “…is not so bad” UNTIL:

    You find our the girl you’re seeing was someone else’s J.O. That leads you to say to yourself, “WTF this nigga right here got the panties that easy and I’m over here buying dinner” And then you start rethinking shorty’s worth in your mind and you either drop her or start treating her like a J.O. or just except that these chicks out here aint shit anyway.

    Now what I would say is that NWSO is experiencing a more mature J.O. situation, lets call is J.O.2.0. The whole calling you after 2pm for booty is jumping off for the 25 and under crowd. With J.O.2.0 you can actually do things with the person and even be seen with them in daylight maybe even like the person, BUT the amount of time spent with this person is always limited so there is no commitment.

    So yes I would have to say that the situation with Natasha was a J.O.2.0 experience.

  • Anonymous

    After reading this I just realized that I am a JUMP OFF! Damn I didnt even see it!

    __________we need to TALK…..

    P.S. Ive been reading ur blog for a long time I even get ur blogs sent to my blackberry! Im sort of addictied! However this is my first time responding, dont know y I waited so long to jump in the convo lol!

    But thx for opening up my eyes for me!!!!! After today I will no longer be anyone’s J.O. Oh and sorry for the shortcut typing (Im lazy lol)

  • VirgoVida

    @ DiffNames
    I’m laughing hysterically at the JO 2.0 breakdown!

  • Mike

    I don’t know, if i’m old or just out of the loop…

    But is a Jump-off
    Da same as a bootie-call….

  • Seem

    Well…. If both parties are Jump Offs it could be ok. It just is not good when a jump off is really one sided. I have been a jump off and a jump offer. Does that make sense?

  • KISHAGURL

    I HAVE BEEN A JUMP-OFF BEFORE AND HAD NO PROBLEM WITH IT AND AS A MATTER OF FACT I’VE HAD A FEW JUMP-OFFS MYSELF. I DON’T THINK THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING OR HAVING ONE OR TWO IN YA GAME AS LONG AS YOU BOTH KNOW WHAT THE DEAL IS. SOME OF US GET ALL IN OUR FEELINGS AND THATS WHERE THINGS GET ALL MESSY AS LONG AS ITS PUT ON THE TABLE IN THE BEGINNING ITS GOOD!!!!!! KEEP ALL THINGS ON THE UP AND UP AND THOSE WHO DONT KNOW ASK QUESTIONS A CLOSED MOUTH DONT GET FEED.

  • Elle

    This is what one of my buddies once shared with me and now I will share it with yall to see what you think:

    “THE Relationship Hierarchy for Black Folks by Terrance L.

    WIFE – This is the top spot. What we all strive to have and maintain. There are no pretenses here. A bond that has been cemented before God, Family and Country, this is not to be played with. This sister is THE power behind you, your rib, your lover, your friend. Screw up and she makes you life difficult. Do right and you get bodied like she was Beyonce jesus.

    FIANCE – The penultimate step before ascension. If marriage is the championship, then this is the finals. The only thing standing in her way to the throne is a damn good plan and a nice summer day.

    WIFEY- The sister you have been in a committed relationship with for sometime and have come to love, trust and respect. There is no fairy tale at this stage. You know the ends and out and in all probability yall already shaking. Your SSN? She knows it. Your atm code? She knows it too. Guess what she’s ready your nonsense on BP too. Just be warned. The only thing keeping her from the fiancé spot is a nice piece of jewelry and your lack of courage. Consider this the conference championships.

    WOMAN – Welcome to the playoffs. The beginning of the “real” run. This happens when a) pressure is applied by the right hand to make her official thereby matching her pay to the work she doing or b) pressure from your mama to stop playing around. At any rate the commitment is official. While small time, things start to heat up at this stage and you are one weekend visit from having a wifey. Like the playoffs is really win or go home.

    RIGHT HAND – C’mon fellaz we know who this sista is. She’s the one always on our arm, handling our day to day. She’s at all the barbecue’s. You hitting it raw. She can use your phone. I mean she’s the workhorse. Only problem is yall aint never made it official, so you (and she) can still do what you want to the ire of the other person. (It’s usually when one of the parties will then try to lock the contract down). This stage is critical because during this time you will decide is she will make the playoffs or get to rebuild her team next year under a different GM. BTW: Remember that threesome she DIDN’T give you? Didn’t that factor in your discussion to promote her? ;-)

    JUMP OFF- Similar to the Right hand, this sister is usually by your side for only the fun shiet. The serious stuff in your life is not her concern. But when the drinks is flowing, when the parties jumping she will be there. However, due to the lack of balance there is little or no chance of yall being serious. The up side is that she’ll probably give you that threesome with her girl. At this point, yall just having a good time until the right hand or woman ends this dynamic. This is like being the Atlanta Braves. Damn good during the season but rarely gets it done.

    MAIN – For those of you dating multiple folks, this is the one that keeps rising to the top. This stage is trickey because she can either go to the dead end zone of jump off or become the more maneuverable right hand. This all depends on how you guys interact. Yup this is the second half of the regular season.

    BETTIES, CHICKS, “OLE GIRL” – This is the first half of the regular season. The sister you just meet and got a lil going for herself. It is during this stage you will decide if she’s going to have a strong second half and make the run for the post season or by midseason she’ll be trade for a draft pick, some cash and a minor league player to be named later.

    BUST DOWNS AND CHICKEN HEADS – These are teams that just want to fill the stadiums without improving the teams. (Think Cubs before this season). Good for only good sex with you and your boys, you know for a fact they’ll be out of the running three weeks into the season.

    ROOKIES – Welcome to the game younging. These are the sisters who are 18-22, just leaving for college and entering the league. How we treat them at this stage, coupled with their home training will determine where they land. Fellaz do your rookies right. (Take that however you want to.)”

  • CKissxox

    My friends and I use the term jump off to describe everything. Our girls trips, our events, our jump offs, etc. And nobody knows what we mean.

    Hey, ____. What’s up with that jump off from the NYC jump off. Oh, it didn’t jump off like you thought? Well there’s always the next jump off….

  • Seriously No Seriously

    @ Elle…….Terrance is a special man in his own right that and will give u real talk whether u want it or notl his hierarchy can be disputed and has in other blog groups……but i stilll have love 4 him!

  • Platnum12

    I am so loving this blog – thank you Essence!!

    I have had jump-offs and have been the jump-off, and have had no problems with either. My preference at this time is married men, and depending upon the situation, that may or may not make me the jump-off (I’m cool with that too). The current MM and I have been together for almost a year. The one before him I was with for 7 1/2 years (I was not his jump-off – he got too serious and I ended it).

    To each his own is my opinion, but communication is definitely the key…

  • Tabitha

    Yeah … Ive been a jump off and Ive had them. I think that its ok as long as both people in it realize what the deal is. I mean if its one sided and you always the one gettin the 3 am after club call and never making it then maybe you should re-evaluate, but then again if you like it I love it. Im not saying tramp around, but on the same token … a good jump off can be priceless!!!

    I personally wouldnt try to get into anything serious with a jump off simply bc once that line is drawn its really hard to re-establish. But thats just me … good people got basic needs and sometimes they just want them fulfilled. If somebody is using you against your will, get out … otherwise JUST DO IT!!!

  • DragonFly

    The definition of a JO is SUPPOSED to be plain and clear but some people don’t know how to properly conduct the JO “relationship”.

    Case and point – I was linking with this cat, feeling like it was complete JO status. We were both fresh outta relationships, still in that foot half in/out mode. We had never been out, never linked with friends, hardly spoke on the phone, no talk about being “together, etc…This went on for about a month.

    Then two very strange things happened:
    Occasion 1. He wanted to spend New Years Eve together, toast it up at the house, relax and bring in the year together. That’s a pretty big night homie…hmmm

    Occasion 2. He ended up spending the night and asked me to a) iron his shirt in the morning and b) make him coffee! Word? LMAO

    Needless to say, we “got together” once after that, I kicked him out right after and then ended it the next day.

  • Reema

    I always thought that a J.O. was like a friend with benefits. In my book, NWSO, your homegirl is a jump off.

    I know that you guys may converse and feel friendly toward one another, but if you guys tend to end almost every rendezvous with sex, she is in the jump off area.

    If I created a Venn Diagram and had friendly attributes in one circle and hoe attributes in the other, the jump off would be somewhere in the middle…yeah.

    There isnt anything wrong with having or being a jump-off, I mean we’re all adults we can have casual sex if we want to, it’s just important to KNOW when you are jumping off. Coz if you get it twisted and think you might be somebody’s somebody, it could be trouble.

  • Elle

    @ Seriously No Seriously

    Absolutely! I agree. That he is.

  • MONIQUE

    I have had a relationship with someone for over five years. We have done dinners, movies, parties, car wash, oilchanges, even some holidays together. Yet, we are just friends. We have amazing sex…but no relationship. I have to stop myself from seeing him too frequently because I begin to have those emotional ties. So its confusing for me and hard to date other men because I always do a comparison…

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  • Kayla

    No, no, no. A jump off is a whore that you aren’t proud to admit sleeping with. I refer to whores as JO’s (stnading for jump off, of course)

  • shakeya joseph

    DONT EVER BE A JUMP OFF CAUSE 10 TIMES OUT OF 10 THAT NI**A DICK IS DIRTY!!! DIRTY BITCH