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The Wife vs. The Whore (Treat Her Like a Prostitute)

Posted by NWSO • February 20, 2009 • Printer-friendly

cheating-wife

Maybe I have too much faith in people, but it always amazes me at how triflin’ some folks can be. I got a call from my old co-workers Nicole the other day and during the course of conversing we started talking about relationships. After updating each other on the status of our non-existent love lives, Nicole told me about this woman she’s knows that’s been living the trife life.

For the sake of this story, we'll call this woman Mrs. Jones. She's an older sister in her late 30s, good job, no kids and married to a wonderful man that worships the ground she walks on. Her husband caters to her ever need, supports her financially and emotionally, and showers her with affection whenever he cans. Sounds almost perfect, right? Well, here's the catch, Mrs. Jones has a 21-year-old boy toy (aka a jump-off) on the side that she sees regularly. Cheating in a relationship is bad enough, but if you don't have any respect for the sanctity of marriage—which is before God—I don't have much respect for you as a person. But I digress...

Of course I had to ask why Mrs. Jones was cheating on her husband since he sounded like such a good man. According to Nicole, Mrs. Jones cheats because her husband doesn't "fuck her like a whore." Yes, you read correctly, Mrs. Jones likes to be "fucked like a whore." Nicole was quick to point out that Mrs. Jones didn't want to be a whore in a literal sense, she's just into the hardcore and kinky stuff. Apparently her doting husband makes love to a wife that likes to be fucked. Go figure.

My next question of course was, "Why doesn't she just ask her husband to give it to her how she wants it?" Supposedly Mrs. Jones has, but her husband is madly in love and just doesn't have "fucking" in him.—at least not how she wants it. He's all about kissing her slowly, stroking her gently and lighting candles, which is all good on occasion but it's not the dose of vitamin S Mrs. Jones desires. Meanwhile, her 21-year-old stallion delivers the hardcore goods each and every time before sending her home to her husband, who doesn’t have a clue. If that ain't trife I don't know what is.

Are there women out there like Mrs. Jones that prefers "fucking" over "making love"? How do you guys define the difference between the two? If your spouse satisfied you in every way possible except the bedroom would you resort to cheating or try to make it work? Can your wife/woman be a lady in streets and a whore in the sheets without losing the respect of her mate? Are there men out there that think their wife or the woman of their children should only be made love to? Do stories like these make you lose faith in the sanctity of marriage?

Speak your piece...

caught_cheating

Tagged as: boy toy, caught in the act, cheating, jump-off, Marriage/Love, rough sex, spouse, whore, wife

McLovinIsFresh

As a dude I think u should know when ur girl/wife needs a good hardcore session. Can't be roses and candles all the time. That's boring for both of us isn't it?
Ms. Niki

I think most women will agree that we like the bedroom to be interesting. Be spontaneous...switch it up once in a while. If not, it gets boring and we start losing interest. Mrs. Jones may not have been tempted had her husband attempted to satisfy her needs in the way she wanted...not making excuses for her...because I don't agree with cheating. So to answer the question...I prefer making love...but I enjoy the roughness sometimes. In RE: to cheating or making it work...I would try to make it work. Then part ways if it's not working before I would cheat. It does make me lose faith in the sanctity of marriage because nowadays people take marriage lightly. At the sight of a slight thunderstorm...they run for shelter and stay inside. Cheating is never ok.
Deeny

There is no excuse for cheating within a marriage for somethin dumb like they way the dick is being served. Especially when everything else is going great! It is selfish and homegirl should be ashamed. Now with all that said, both ms. thang and her husband obviously have some intimacy issues that go beyond a dick stroke.

I think that most women like variety in the bedroom. We like to be treated like a queen and made love to tenderly and with a lot of passion, but we also like to get our back blown out! lol Sometimes, all we want is to feel sooo sexy that our partner goes into "jungle" mode and can't help to f*ck the ish out of us like they paid good money for it! It makes us feel like he is "lusting for us" in addition to being in love with us. It also has a lot to do with submission and taking charge. us women like to remind men EVERYDAY 24/7 that we are independent and don't need a man for nothin and allthat good stuff. But the truth is, it wouldn't hurt for ya'll to take charge every now and then (in a respectful and tacful way of course) because it turns us on. So that's prob where all that side ho0ing is coming from for ole girl. She prob wants to feel like she is being dominated and doesn;t feel like her husband is taking charge enough at home. Is she still trife? YES! lol

She gets points for saying to something to him about it but she needs to be more stern. Even if it means she says somethin like "babe, if this doesn't change, I'm gonna start fantasizing about other people and I'm afraid I might act on it". her husband should try to make a change after hearing that. If he doesn't then he needs to call a lawyer because as minor as this sexually problem sounds, it can be the end all be all.
VirgoVida

I think there should always be the best of both worlds in a RELATIONSHIP. You should be getting f**cked on the regular, but hopefully it involves passion and love. And I personally haven't heard any of my girlfriends say that they'd rather be made love to than F**KED!
Bird kisses on the small of the neck isn't going to do anything bruh.....grab something and GO HARD like Yeezy ;-}
Shorty14

I think that its all about balance. You cant have one thing all the time. What she is doing is just wrong. Instead of going out and doing that maybe she just needs to sit down and let her husband know that sometimes she just wants a lil ruff love.
Ms. West

I am so in agreement with Deeny! As a woman, I definitely want to play the role, and with all honesty, some men don't get that. Many women (I won't say all, although I am tempted) equate agression with manliness, and you want a man to tell you what to do sometimes (mostly in bed). Maybe I am being too honest, but the truth of the matter is, a man has to be able to assert himself, she is more than triflin, but what happens when needs are not being met. All women want to get CAVEMAN fucked! I won't front on that, but in addition to that you want to be told you are beautiful, because that allows you to relax and be yourself. See a sista like that needs her ass beat, mainly because she is a liar and is exposing her husband, herself and her (young ass) lover to disease.
She is a trick....Plain and simple....
But men take heed, you gotta switch it up, or at least listen, y'all can make it happen.
distinguishedgentlewoman

I agree with everyone here. There should be variety in the bedroom. Being made love to--especially by a man who you know loves you dearly--is beautiful. But every now and then, a woman wants her man to go in HARD. REAL HARD. And, yes, lots of women have "whore" fantasies where they just want to be hoisted over a kitchen counter, park bench, car seat, office desk...and f**ked like a rabbit in heat. It's all about raw, unadulterated lust and her being totally submissive to the man/men. Or being a dominatrix, if that's what they're into.

But that's where communication comes in--verbal communication. There's a lot to be said for long in-depth talks, before and after entering into a committed relationship. There's nothing wrong with being into kinky sex. But there is something wrong with not letting someone know up front what you're really into. I'm sure ole girl didn't just wake up next to her hubby one day with the revelation that she wanted a stallion in bed sometimes. I know you said she tried to let him know what she desired, but maybe she didn't try hard enough and gave up too easily. Whatever the case, cheating is never the answer. And, yes, stories like these do make me lose faith in the sanctity of marriage.
Hershey

Honestly. There is no excuse for her cheating. She should just ask her husband and coach. TO me it seems like she's a gold digger. Straight freaking is just going at sex with no foreplay or intimacy. It's just doing the do and going home. Making love is when you take time and savour the moment. A man's wife is the only person he should have sex, freak (screw), and make love to. That's what the vows are for. Apparently people take marriage for granted and out of context. A woman can be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets only if she's with her husband. What goes on in the bedroom is for husband and wife only. If my wife is a lady, but when we get ready to have sex she's a freak I welcome that because I'm a freak too. Stories like this does not make me lose faith in the sanctity of marriage, but it makes me wonder why people get married. If a man is taking care of you and you "love" him why cheat. Just COMMUNICATE! That's what makes a relationship work. Just tell the man what you want and stop being a hoe.
TXGalInCA2009

what a shame that this female chose the road travelled frequently....marriage is work. Hard work and she shouldve put forth a GENUINE effort before resorting to infidelity. Some men need thangs broken down Barney-style vs. others. Patience, sweetie...
Chocopina

Its women like Mrs. Jones that really piss me off. Its hard enough finding a good man. One that loves you unconditionally. And she has it and doesn't treasure it.

That being said, I wonder if Mrs. Jones ever communicated to her husband PRIOR to getting married that she wanted some variety in the bed. OR that she wanted it rough or was an exhibitionist or wants to swing or what have you. Things like this can make or break a relationship/marriage and should not be sprung upon a person after the deal has been sealed.

If she's going to be bold enough to find herself a young man and coach him into doing what she likes then its cowardly not to do the same to her husband. And I suspect she did have to coach him, most 21 yr olds have no idea what they are doing (even though they think they do). I wonder did she really truly have a heart to heart with him about what she wanted and why.

If by chance she did have the convo before the marriage AND she knew upfront that her husband couldn't do her like she wanted AND they could not come up with a mutually agreeable arrangement then she should not have married her husband. If it was a dealbreaker then, chances are she knew eventually she would stray to find satisfaction.

And on the flip side does Mrs. Jones do every thing her husband asks? In and out of the bedroom?

If Mr. Jones husband did the same thing and used the same logic I am sure Mrs. Jones and Nicole and their circle of friends would be dragging Mr. Jones through the ringer. They would call him all types of triflin ass negros and such.

She's being incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.
2-plz-u

"us women like to remind men EVERYDAY 24/7 that we are independent and don’t need a man for nothin and allthat good stuff. But the truth is, it wouldn’t hurt for ya’ll to take charge every now and then (in a respectful and tacful way of course) because it turns us on" i couldnt have said it better Ms. Deeny. i do not recommend cheating at all because its not fair to the other person if u knew he wasnt giving it to you like u wanted it then you should not have said I Do point blank but men have to understand that most women no matter how sweet and conservative wants it hard and rough once in a while. the biggest mistake that mrs jones made was making sex a main factor in her relationship i mean true no one wants to be stuck with a man who cannot perform the way our body craves but if thats one of the biggest parts that make u love him then u have bigger issues then the lack of diversity in the bedroom
Robin

I can so relate to this entire situation...no, I never cheated on my late husband, however I didn't realize what it was like to be F**ked until I was out in the dating world again.
I had lovers, friends with benefits etc in my late teens and early twenties, but after marriage, it was only my husband. I didn't even have an orgasm until I met him...hence the reason I married him.....lol....seriously though, sex was just my duties as a wife, not something I craved or would get hot and wet thinking about.
After his death, when I was finally ready to get back out there, I was shocked when I got "fu**ked down" as my friends and I call it!! I mean ass smackin, hair pullin, hot, nasty, sweaty , passionate hardcore sex!! I was literally turned out!!
I had a couple of lovers and if they didn't deliver the goods the way I wanted, I told them so .... kinda also touches on the earlier discussion of faking orgasms....I'm not gonna do it.
Back to the subject at hand now though.... I am about to be 40, and in my opinion in my sexual prime....I am not going to say I missed out on all the fun while I was married, my husband and I had what we had in the bedroom and I cherish the memories now that he has passed.
But, my current love has our sex life under control. He has taught me so much about myself, my desires and my body. I know his body like the back of my hand and he knows mine the same. Communication is key, that and trust!! If I hadn't have trusted myself in his hands to allow him to show me a new world I would still be just going through the motions. Now, I get "TAKEN" so to speak in the bedroom, or wherever he decides to "take" me, I am happy as hell and satisfied!! I get off on the hot sex and have gotten submission, role playing, exploring, etc. etc. etc. down to a science!!
If Ms. Jones isn't getting it the way she needs it, she needs to be a woman and speak her mind and if her husband can't do what needs to be done then they need to get some counseling or get sex therapy.....bottom line is that she needs to do her job as a wife and teach her husband to be the lover she needs....if she isn't willing to do that then maybe she is just with him for the security and the pampering and if that's the case she will get what she deserves in the end. If it is her husband that refuses the change then shame on him because he is not doing his duties as a man and not doing himself any favors where his own sexual needs are concerned.
What man doesn't secretly wanna beat his chest, grab his woman by the hair and drag her off to the cave and F**K the hell out of her????
Lets be REAL here!!
http://counterfeitparadise.blogspot.com crystal

i have totally been this woman.

my ex was doting, attentive, and generous to a fault. we were a great fit and complemented each other in every way. i was the bonnie to his clyde, ride or die and all that jazz. the only problem was that he couldn't fuck me like i wanted him to. he was the passionate type and he wasn't incredibly equipped to fuck me like a whore either. let's face it, from jump we weren't that sexually compatible but everything else about us was damn near perfect.

at one point in the relationship we stopped having sex altogether. when he'd go on long trips abroad, i'd see another man, get what i needed and when he returned from his trips we'd carry on as usual.

i think my ex knew about the other relationship though he never came right out and admitted it. once he told me as long as 1) he didn't personally know the other man 2) i didn't emotionally cheat on him and fall in love 3) i practiced safe sex and, most importantly, 4) he never, ever found out about the affair he could deal with another lover in my life. i was to never, ever give him any indication that i was seeing someone else. no late night phone calls, no pseudo night's out with the girls, etc. the other guy knew the deal and knew that when my man came back around, he did not exist.

maybe my ex was cheating on me, too. who knows? to this day i have never admitted that i've cheated on him. our relationship was indeed so much more than sex but you can't deny that sex is a major part of any relationship.
- Lolz
  
  Monkey see, monkey do.
Ameretta

Dang Mrs. Jones!!!!!

@NWSO I was looking for the lyrics to the Slick Ric cut of "Treat Her Like a Prostitute"! Love the title!

Back to the subject,

Mrs. Jones must have knew what see was getting into before she jumped the broom.....she may have always has that urge to get the snot taken out of her nose, but was not willing to communicate with her husband about her unsated sexual appetite. From my past experience and past relationship failures a person should be able to talk to your partner about your likes, your dislikes so as a couple you can grow!

But the thing that is sooo bad is that she is not dating, she is married!! Let her husband catch wind that his p*ssy is getting tapped by a younger guy, he is going to lose his mind!!! Let's hope that he doesn't Chris Brown her, but it just sucks that her infidelity is based on her wanting her back twisted out of position.......It's just bad anyway you look at it.

Trust me,

I know, because years ago I was like Mrs.Jones, funny because that is my last name, I lost it all because I wanted my cake and eat it too....I wasn't married but I've seen the after effect of infidelity, the mis trust, the hate, the anger. I felt like shit because I didn't not for once but his feelings in the mix of things....In the long run I lost both men...
YoungJay

I think there is a double standard when it comes to "satisfaction" in relationships. For instance, if i wanted my wife to give me head like a whore and she didnt do it how I liked and I then went out and got it somewhere else I dont think there would even be a discussion of whether or not I was a dirtbag. But for some reason there is a question of whether or not this guy may be at fault for her straying (more like whoring IMO) ways.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@ Da THrone,

I'm all for free speech, man, but let's try to tone the B's and hoes down. Dunno, just felt you went in a little hard on that one, and while an adult space for convo still like to keep it civil up in here.

You taking this one a little personal. Are you Mr. Jones? LOL

j/k
righteous mama

I'm glad there's a few people being real here because a lot of y'all are living in a fantasy world. I'm sorry. Personally, I don't cheat and I damn sure wouldn't marry a guy who I wasn't sexually compatible with.

Men are guilty of doing the very same thing ALL DAY. Not saying its right but its not as cut and dry as some of you think it is. This woman probably does love her husband and yes she is selfish but it is extremelu difficult to say no when your needs aren't being met.

Personally I like it rough and nasty most of the time and made love to sometimes. There are three types of people when it comes to marriage.

1- people who marry for stability

2- people who marry for passion

3- people who don't need marriage to experience real love

For real, how do you think our parents and our parents' parents stayed 2gether for so long? Not everybody cheats but a lot of people do. I accepted that human flaw in people a long time ago. I heard a quote the other day something like you really love someone when you can love them in spite of their imperfections.

I think it's really harsh to call her trifling and I bet you any amount of money her husband isn't as clueless as some of you think. And I also bet u Mrs. Jones would drop her youngun with the quickness if she thought her husband might find out. I ain't saying it's right. Being judgmental is easy. Being in a relationship isn't. I hope she's protecting her herself and her husband and they all find a way to work it out lovingly.
da ThRONe

There is no excuse 4 cheating NONE. This is why you know what your getting into b4 you get married if he wasnt fucking her like a whore then why did she marry him in the 1st place?

But as a man(1st let me say and most men would agree that shes is right for wanting it ruff!LOL) if my lady wants it and i can get it for her then i will make it so. I think when you turn down your lovers requested that 2 is a form of cheating. Anything less than 100% 2 your wife(or ladies your husband) is a form of cheating. Its his owe issues with his sexuality and maybe maturity that prevents him from giving her what she needs. But its her responsiblity 2 let him know just how important it is. But i really dont think she should've had 2 ask twice!

Ans this is a good topic but this is really a stupid problem 4 them 2 have!
da ThRONe

@righteous mama

How can you or anybody defend her she is wrong period! You made a committment and was fully aware of what she commit 2. She is very much the whore she wanna be fucked like!

I know people arent perfect but when are we going stop making excuse 4 everybody? Wrong is wrong some things arent as "black and white" but this is as "black and white" as it gets. If you dont marry someone because they are everything you need and willing 2 work with you on the things you want DONT FUCKING GET MARRIED! It aint rocket science. Im sure there are plenty women who dont like hardcore sex(i met a few) that would have loved 2 marry that dude. She should have voiced her opinion well b4 she said "I do" she is a "trilfin ho" and i hope he finds out just how dirty that bitch is!
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Tracs,

Older in comparison to me. I'm 32 so any number higher than that is older by definition. Didn't say she was old, just older than me. You reading too much into it. lol
http://nwso.net NWSO

@ Righteous Mama & any women,

For the record, the only reason I as an author used "whore" in the post is because that's the way Mrs. Jones apparently described how she wanted to be laid. Simply quoting her. And you'll note that I wrote in the post that she didn't mean it in a literal sense, just figuratively in terms of the rough stuff.

Da Throne, that's kinda what I meant when I was saying you took it to a extreme with the "dirty b" etc. I'd prefer not to use "whore" but served a purpose in the context of telling the story.

That is all..

As you were, people
da ThRONe

@NWSO

Out of respect i can always tone it down!

But after reading what i wrote i dont think i was out of line. Considering the subjust were on and the very term she herself used. I think it was a case of "Call it how you see it".

And 2 farther make a point marriage shouldnt be hard. If you go into with the right attitude of its better 2 give ,and date somebody because they are a bestfriend that you have sexually chemistry with its not. Work yes but hard no an anything worth having is worth some few adjustment. If your in a relationship and its difficult something isnt going right and it either needs 2 be fixed or ended period.
litabia

I don't agree with cheating especially when you are married. If Mrs. Jones felt like this she could've stayed single, get sexed down the way she like and leave a good man that someone like me for example would appreciate.
trubian

There are absolutely no valid reasons for cheating--none whatsoever. There seems to be a lot of folk on here applying the word 'but' right after they declare cheating is wrong. Of course both men and women need the proper balance of lmaking love and freaking fucking( choking, grabbing hair, smacking that ass etc) but most people cheat because of flaws in character or integrity, not because needs are not being met, If needs are not being met, then bounce---I would know because I am a recovering cheater, and I have been clean for over 5 years.

the hoe vs. housewife or the nigga vs. brother is real. Folk have to take the time to properly catagorized folk when they start to date them.. For me, I try to treat hoes like hoes and housewivs like housewives. Deep down hoes , although some may present a mock protest, are more comfortable when they are treated as such. It removes the pressure and expectations of having to behave in a manner that is contrary to their nature or lifestyle.
trubian

I agree 100% with dathrone, whether it be a male or female, nigga or hoe, it is wrong.
tracs

I have to agree w/ daThrone on this one. Personally I dont think how he's giving it to her is the problem at all. She doesn't just want to be treated like a whore in the bedroom. The problem is she is a whore. Being with one man does not satisfiy her. Furthermore even if homeboy switched it up she may still be doing him dirty because its likely the thrill of the cheating that gets her off. Its sad to say but their are people who think of marriage as being the same as dating & will continue to do what they would in a dating situation. There can be no doubt she knew he was a love me tender type of lover in the beginning. She made the decision that she would take the ring, wear the dress but still carry on as if nothing has changed beyond the wedding. She is a whore and a shameless one at that. The fact that she can tell that to a friends & make it out to be her husbands fault that she can't be faithful makes her trifling.

And Naked, since when is over 30 an "older gal"? Shame on you for that one. You run the risk of alienating some of your faithful followers..or maybe just me(lol).
distinguishedgentlewoman

@ litabia:

You speak the truth. There are a lot of us out there who would love to have a good, kind man shower us with his love (I know that sounds corny, but sometimes corny is good), and here she is taking hers for granted. For shame, I tell ya. For shame.

* For some odd reason Stephanie Mills' "Comfort of a Man" keeps playing in my head when I read this post.
Righteous Mama

I think it's interesting this woman is being labeled a whore. I wonder what the responses would be like if it was reverse...a man cheating on his wife for instance because she doesn't like anal or oral sex. Would you men be more sympathetic??? Of course, its wrong.

Even the BEST marriages are tested by the issue of fidelity.
da ThRONe

@Righteous Mama

He'd be the same as she would! This has nothing 2 do with gender. Wrong is Wrong and cheating is wrong. Men are hoes 2 I know a bunch LOL! But you cant let her off the hook by play the "Double Standard Card" she is wrong! She choose him knowing his tendenices and 4 what ever reason still married him she 2 grow up and honor that promise 2 her him and God or leave! Cheating should never be an option
da ThRONe

I dont judge people by anything other than there actions! And if you read my earlier post i put some of the blame on the husband as a man you should give all that you can 2 the 1 you love and i said not 2 do so is in itself is a form of cheating, so read everything b4 you judge!
http://inthesunshyne.blogspot.com yes

But was he fuckin her before they got married? I don't understand. Why doesn't she just blindfold her husband and take advantage of him just how she likes it. That oughta show him what she wants.
K-Love

If you can tell you husband you want a new car, it should not be hard to tell him to beat your back out. Be aggressive, bring the pornos and the handcuffs, hell tie urself to the bed, do whatever it takes before resorting to cheating. Who knows he may want to beat it down like he does not know you, may be he's trying to be sensitive to the situation not knowing how you really feel. Communication. This is the classic case of woman are hard to please. We always want more. We say we don't but deep down we want it all. She wanted her cake and ate it too...what else are you suppose to do with cake? She could have handled that situation better and a 21 year old, i know he's a spring chicken and all but that probably all he knows how to do is "phuck".

And another thing, if you are going to cheat, make sure the person is better off than your mate. If he is not, you are wasting you time and possibly making the biggest mistake of your life.

Then you would have to live with regrets...
helovesme

i say have a 3 some with them both...
Seriously No Seriously

She's not cheating b/c she needs to have her cooch banged out she's cheating b/c she's selfish!.....with all the toys and vids out there I cant imagine a women that far in age not knowing what she wants and needs in the bed and not settling! but hey i could be wrong she has a sweet set~up and she knew she could get away with it! But how do we know that her husband aint doing the same? While she out with her boy toy he prolly got a chick on the side!
Righteous Mama

@ Da Throne

I'm not "letting her off". How many times do I have to say of course it's wrong. I'm just saying I understand why she is doing what's she's doing.

It is possible that her husband doesn't KNOW how to do her the way she likes. She sounds like a sexually experienced woman and you can only show and teach a man but so much.

A friend shared with me this example: A man has been married to his wife for 20 years and she has NEVER given him head. EVER. The result - he is cheating of her.

This is what happens when people aren't being served properly.

@NWSO
I think you set the tone for some of these comments by referring to the woman as a whore and folks are just running with it.

I'm not condoning what this woman is doing. I'm just thinking of what might be happening on the flip side. Everybody here seems content with bashing ol' girl.

What if her husband CAN'T fuck her the way she likes? Should they spilt up? She sounds like she married a man who is loving and a great provider but can't necessarily fuck. Maybe she thought she could be happy in that arrangement. But, when a woman has a need like that, it can make her feel like her flesh is on fire. Just like some women can't/won't ever give good head...you can't always teach on old dog new tricks.
Lina

Perfect- Great topic, and as usual you will have those who will totally agree with her actions and those who see as being foul in every aspect. I like the comment by Righteous Mama in reference to if the script was flipped....I can relate a 100% to this siuation and sadly I have had an affair while being married. I think it is easily said by those who are inexperienced in the marriage field and lack the day to day living in that status that this is ...OH THIS SO WRONG, HOW CAN SHE, SHE IS NOTHING BUT A TRICK ANYWAY, ETC the list goes on. But realistically this situation happens more often that you know. I say this because no one knew of my incident UNTIL I chose to disclose it -Not even my best friend. This is a common problem that does not start off that way. For instance I will use myself as an example....I have been married ( yes we worked through it) now for 12yrs and everything started off lovely between him and I. Sex was great, we had spontaneous moments, car, floor of his mamma's house, etc....so yrs go by we have jobs, children, stress of just living day to day. One of us gets super caught up in it and loses sight of us...the romance. I exhausted all my efforts to make him understand that our sex life is suffereing right now and we need to regroup- emails were sent-discussions we had- details...like take control, pull my hair, etc. No repsonse, I was was actually told by him that is that all I think about and for a young woman (34) yes it is what I think about and is an important part of our/my relationship. It is important part of my balance. So going off to find that person to fulfill that need is real. Hate on me, judge me, etc but the fact of the matter is we are so far invested in our lives that parting from each other is costly in all avenues. I do not condone infidelity anymore that you do but I UNDERSTAND why it happens- I lived it. Now I am to the point that if have to go find that other to fulfill my needs then we need to reconsider our situation and our roles here. I understand the route to finding that "Jump Off" and if your significant other does not consider your request/..some may call it complaining seriously I can UNDERSTAND how it leads to the next the man.
da ThRONe

@Righteous Mama

This is why you date people 2 find out who likes what you like do what you like and screw how you like! You cannot tell me she wasnt aware of that issue ,but she still married dude. No excuses

Let this be a lesson 2 everybody. MAKE SURE THE PERSON YOU SAY "I DO" TO IS THE PERSON WHO GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED! I dont understand how that is such a hard concept 2 grasp.

And you keep saying "Well if it was a man who did blah blah blah" If this was a dude i would say if his women didnt go down he know b4 he proposed so deal with it. I tell every chick i meet what i want and need so early in the relationship so she can say i feel the same way or hell no thats not me. Know what you want and dont settle 4 less are you will have these problem. That you bring on yourself!
Righteous Mama

@ LINA

THANK YOU!!! Finally a true story! People please turn off the made for tv fantasy and think about real life situations for a minute. Communication is always key...but just because you talkin' doesn't the person on the other side is listening.
Righteous Mama

@ da Throne

I don't know why you directin' that comment at me. I ain't marry homeboy.

and me and my dude are STRAIGHT! LOL!
da ThRONe

I have more sympathy and respect 4 a brother in jail 4 selling drugs 2 support his family then i do a cheating mate!(male or female)

Next were going start justifing murder! "Well he made me really mad so i just killed him SORRY!"
thats BS theres no excuse 4 it none!

What is wrong with people if the love of my life says she wants something then imma try my hardest 2 make that happen. Cause I love that person. Ya'll dont deserve love if ya'll can just turn around and sh!t on it like ya'll do. I dont think i'll ever get married. We are taught 2 only love ourself in this society and failed marriages are the bi-product of our selfishness!

LIFE HAS BECOME EVERY (WO)MAN 4 HIM(OR HER)SELF!
da ThRONe

@Righteous mama

this was you comment 2 me

"It is possible that her husband doesn’t KNOW how to do her the way she likes. She sounds like a sexually experienced woman and you can only show and teach a man but so much."

I was just answering it
Tracs

I am a woman. Please let the record show that I stand behind my opinion that she is a WHORE ( again my opinion). And if the roles were reversed we'd same the same. Come on, its not like we ever let the men off the hook for these things. Righteous, I have to say I think your own example stands against you. The idea of equating a man to a whore for less than these offenses is universally accepted. Its actually sad that some of us are taking offense simply because it is now a woman we are discussing and it is less acceptable to "call her out her name".
LL

Men do this all the time and then its said that since he wife doesn't do it like he likes to have it, then its "her" problem when he gets it somewhere else.

Double standards?
da ThRONe

@Tracs

You seem 2 be the only 1 who gets the point

@LL and Righteous mama

What kinda people ya'll know who think cheating is right no matter who does it?

Its funny how women cry about double standards when it dont suit them! Maybe i miss the part when Ans said the man put a gun 2 her head and made her marry him. Cause unless he did or even lied 2 her about what he does in bed that is completely on her.

This going sound sexist but alot of times women give men whatever they want sexually in the beginning and after they get married then they lose the will 2 get freaky!That is falsely representing yourself and is wrong and IMO grounds 4 leaving. Which is completely different from knowing somebody ways marrying then anyways and then cheat when you knew thats how they were!
righteous mama

Final comment: lol I can't call the woman a whore. (My opinion) I know too many married people who've struggle with fidelity and plenty of them have made it through but not without difficulty and ups and downs. A good friend of mine is unfaithful to her finance and has a youngun on the side to give her what she needs. Is she a whore for that? In my opinion, hell no. Is she imperfect? Yes, we all are.
da ThRONe

If it walks like a duck quack like a duck its a duck! What else do you call a person without the moral fiber not 2 cheat on the person the swore there life 2! The worst kinda people are the ones who break there bond! They are lower than dirt! Call'em whatever you want.
da ThRONe

Im sure if you find out your mans sleeping with somebody else than come home and sleep with you you'll be singing around song! Its easy 2 be so cool when it aint your love one!
Divatude

This story doesn't make me lose faith in the sanctity of marriage at all. It totally disgusts me at the actions of a female that has the situation that most single and looking women are craving. I feel like this, if I am married to this man, he is going to know or at least learn how I want and need to be satisfied just like I am going to either know or learn so that I can know how he wants and needs to be satisfied. There should never be room for error left in a relationship. If she wasn't done tippin and creepin, she should have thought twice or three times about entering into the sanctity of marriage from the land of the slut.
Elle

To me, this situation comes down to a lack of respect and lack of discipline.

Everything in relationships foots on respect. When I repect a person, I trust him/her. I can communicate openly with somebody I respect. Out of respect for someone I do not lie or cheat to that same person.
Hence: in my world, she does not respect her husband enough to trust that he will cater to her bedroom needs, she doesnt trust him enough to communicate her desires to him. Nor does she respect him enough not to step out on their relationship. Ergo: Why be in a marriage with a person she does not respect? Makes no sense in my admittedly-over-analyzed view of the universe.
How you can sleep at night and look into the mirror the next morning when you know you are being disrespectful to a person who loves you? That's cold hearted in my book.

On to lack of discipline: Given the lack of respect for her significant other, she apparently does not have enough discipline to swallow these selfish feelings and spare herself and her husband the pain which sooner or later will catch up to both of them. Yes, it may only be human to admire beautiful specimens of the other sex. And I can even live with the possibility that people may fantasize - even if its just for a split second - about how it would be to lay down with the hottie from the local Starbucks. Yet and still, if you do not have the necessary discipline to not put these fantasies into action, you should best remain single.

In a nutshell: I will not disrespect Mrs. Jones or men and women like her by calling them names. However, I cannot respect anybody who lacks discipline and respect for others (and self) either.
Dray

I do not feel that there is any excuse for cheating on your spouse. My advise to her would be to take charge in the bedroom sometimes. Men do like that. You take the initiative and set the tone. She needs to be careful with the little kid cause he is probably servicing more than one woman. Personally I will never understand women that have a great man and don't appreciate him. If I was her I'd be worried about another woman just waiting for a man like the one she already has.
CKissxox

Cheating is bad and sad, so is an unhappyy marriage. If she needs what she has on the side to stay married and hubby is still happy enough and in love enough to continue being "wonderful" the she found a way. How in tune can he be IF he doesn't have a clue - and that's a big if.

It's easy to say what you will or won't do when it isn't you...
Anonymous

Cheating is unacceptable but like Katt Williams said, " you cant just present the some old dick every night." You have to switch it up & make it interesting. We do.
Anonymous

well for one i know the feeling of knowing i want more then just love making. Somtimes though
it is nice with the right man, expecialy if that man
is your husbadn. That being said is that if you can't
love someone unconditonaly then why say i do.
I am all for a man who is rough with me but if
i met a man who could only bring himself to make
love to me and i said yes to marrying him well then
i would say i would make my peace with just making love. Thats just me though, everyone is different and deal differently.
Anonymous

I think Righteous Mama's breakdown of the three types of people vis a vis marriage is pretty solid, although I dont know that her conclusions from that point are.

I think a major problem, one of several I guess, is that plenty of women marry for security and once they have it, feel no qualms about seeking the passion out elsewhere. To me, they came into the marriage in bad faith, with dishonest motives, and therefore no amount of honest heart to hearts or dedication to changing their sexual chemistry will fix it.

As someone else said, its the thrill of being bad, the thrill of cheating with a hot younger guy and breaking taboo that probably gets her wet. This myth that guys cheat for sex and women cheat out of emotional distress is just that, a myth. There are key differences in general between women and men, but we are more alike in our base humanity than many recognize.

To women who refuse to marry for security and put themselves in a position of seeking sexual thrill outside of the marriage, who roll the dice and prefer waiting for security AND passion I say more power to you.
Tabitha

I cant add much to this discussion because I dont like cheaters and I think you should know and more importantly accept everything about someone BEFORE you get married.

I have had the experience where I was dating a guy and the sex was pretty tame ... but when he and I started becoming more serious and he came around and saw me as a mother, the sex became non-existent!!! LOL, but we werent married so no big deal.

They say variety is the spice of life and I agree ... sometimes I wanna fuck i.e. in public (lol yeah) or that rough biting spanking hair pulling call me a bitch type a session. Sometimes I wanna do it ... and this is a step above fuckin, maybe we add some oral but there still aint nothing romantic goin on, we tryna nut. Then at times I wanna have sex ... for this we are probly in the bedroom we might have some music in the background but again, there is only a modicum of romance goin on. We do take some time with the oral, we might have some lotions goin on or something to that effect, but its probly more of a freak factor, but ... we are movin toward love makin, which is also great ... candles, music, massages, deep slow kissing, you are workin the whole body over I mean from the top of the head to the tippy toes, "I loves yous" ensue and be sure there are still orgasms goin on ... but it takes time to even get to the intercourse. Your makin love ... to keep my attention long term, you MUST be capable of all that bebe.

So sorry Mrs. Jones, while I obviously agree sex is important and can be a deal breaker in a relationship, Id never get in a marriage and suddenly flip it or have a side piece bc everything but the sex was good. Mrs. Jones, you are definitely ... OUTTA POCKET!!!
jaguar

People has any one on this site been in a relationship more then 2 years, more then the 7year itch? How do we judge this person on her actions, who are we to judge this woman who cheats? How does this story make you lose your believes on marriage? We make our own marriage, we make our own relationship for better or worse.
I can actually speak with my own story. I was with someone for 13 years. I was in love with him because of the love we had together but beside this i was his lady outside and his whore in bed. I put on the outfits, i did the strip teases, i took it like a champ and yes we made love. Sex was never the problem. In the bedroom, it was open and there was love there. I spoke my mind and what i wanted and not once was i looked like if i have 8 eyes, made self conscience of my desires as a woman. When woman ask "baby give it to me hard, tie me up, lets F*** on the bench" she is sometimes looked like she is the whore by her man but not the whore the man wants. He makes her feel self conscience of her desires. Its takes two to Tango.
Yes Mrs. Jones, should speak her mind and communicate better to her mate, try harder but do we have the entire story. Its takes two people to get a relationship to where it is.
Well back to my story, ended up being problems in the relationship because of not enough time put in the relationship from my partner. It was communicated many times 3 years to be exact, waiting patiently because I loved him. I waited hoping he would change and be the man i fell in love with. But i got tired of waiting. And I cheated. I cheated because I needed intimacy with a man. I needed to feel what i was missing. Do i think it was the right thing to do, no. It just happened. Do i regret it NO. Nothing in life should be regretted, Learn from your mistakes. No i am making an excuse for it no. I ended up leaving eventually because of what was missing in my relationship, what ended up lacking in it. When you are in a relationship for so long, life tends to happen in it. Every day life. Routines are set, work ends up coming first and romance later. Kids are born, by the time you have put your child in bed you are exhausted from your day. This is NO excuse to have a fall out in a relationship. Every couple should communicate and make time for a relationship if it means that much to them.
Maybe her husband knows and accepts it because he is not capable of seeing his wife as a whore in bed.
But what I can say to all of you, is relationships are very different when life come into play, when routine are set in, and you are in for more then 2 years. Try more then 10.
DefCon4

I've never been married, but have cheated in a realationship due to unsatisfactory sex. The situation was very much similar to "Mrs. Jones" and I needed more physically than what I was getting. Needless to say we decided to part ways.

I need a combination of both to switch it up. It doesnt always have to be "fucking" but it doesn't always have to be "love making" either....

I think one of the most important parts in finding a mate is finding someone that is compatible to your needs & desires otherwise you're always going to be looking elsewhere to get what you want! I'm not just talking physical either
kuntreethick

this is very interesting. i'm in a current relationship and no, we don't have sex all the time-maybe one or twice a month. that bothers the ish out of me, but i know he has other things going on (getting his business off etc). however, when i think about cheating or seeking other things, i think about how i will never ever be satisfied. point blank perioid. i'm a serious believer in, once you start, you can't stop. so i put up with the lacklusterness (i know ain't a word) in hopes that one day, he will cum around-literally and physcally.
http://www.afrostoshelltoes.com/word From Afros To Shelltoes

great topic...as much as we want to believe sex does not matter...it does...it wont make a relationship, but it can damn sure hurt one...u have to put it down point blank...making her toes curl leads to biscuits in the morning...not hanldin' your business...leads to sex romps on your couch with the Comcast installer...
Simcox

I've been in enough relationships. I'm tired of trying and waisting time, money and pain. It just takes too long, sometimes years to find it ain't working. I think I'll be happier alone when my present situation ends.
Karen

I am a whore and a partner my partner loves the fact another man is pimping me out , he says to me that he is the only on he makes loves to. h loves the fact i have a second job and getting my need taken care off
da ThRONe

@Karen

If this is really your situation then more power to you and him. Honesty is whats important there not the sex. I have met couples that were swingers and were madly in love. If both of you are cool with it then its nobodys place to say anything different.
single23

hmmm...do I like love making vs fucking. LEt be honest, taking it slow sometimes leaves us room to think and get our heads out of the game. so sometimes it has to be straight fucking otherwise we wont get there. but the hard part for men will be knowing the difference.
Msjaded

Well at least she's getting some form of sex from her husband. Mine hasn't touched me in months and has no clue what I like. I have remained faithful but am tempted to cheat everyday.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Msjaded

I don't think cheating is ever the answer, if it's an issue you guys can't talk about and actually work out, why toss your vows to the wind and stay where you clearly don't/can't be? Walk away and do what you want to do sexually without guilt of breaking vows before God.

BUT the fact you guys can't talk about issues is troubling, I hope to be able to talk to my wife about anything and vice versa. Y'all should be best friends in addition to husband and wife.

Good luck
Jordi

I love it when women say they want things to remain interesting because otherwise they get boring. Well, what about us? We also like things to be exciting and interesting, yet you do nothing about it, you just lay there with your frigid cunts expecting us to do all the job while you fake orgasms. The idea of actually WORKING and DOING SOMETHING to fortify a relationship seems not to exist in women's feeble mind.
http://nakedwithsockson.com Ann

"Mrs. Jones" is wrong for what she is doing and should just tell her husband that she needs it hard core sometimes. This makes the love making better sometimes
http://nakedwithsockson.com Ann

JORDI:
it's too bad that you only give women "fake orgasims". It's not women's fault that you can't satisfy a woman. Instead of all the anger, maybe you should become a better lover, or is that something that is beyond YOUR feeble mind?
http://www.nakedwithsockson.com/2009/02/20/the-wife-vs-the-whore-treat-her-like-a-prostitute/ Annon

It would be a pleasant surprise for both of them if she was a hooker and he answered her ad for sex. They could just fall in love all over again haha.
http://makeyourwifehot.com/bragblog Chris

Many people are multi-dimensional. Men want Betty Crocker in the Kitchen, a socialite in public and a whore in the bedroom.

Is is surprising that a woman might want a white knight by her side 5 days per week and a "bad boy" stud-muffin for the weekends?

No.

Her husband's inability to address both her needs requires some further persuasion by her. She may have "asked" to be banged like a whore and he may have declined.

But, if she was honest and said, "I really need that every once in a while and if I don't get it, I'm afraid I'll step outside our marriage to get it." I am sure that he would step up and get the required training from her that she needs.

(Unless of course, he is a cuckold and would be into that sort of thing.) Here is a related article called "Why being bad is good" Enjoy.
http://bit.ly/6bunVo
http://www.nextlevelmediaevents.com NicoleJvon

I am sure she knew what she was getting when she got married and maybe that is what made her fall for him in the 1st place. As you can see in the post both her and her husband have their ish together. That being said maybe he was more aggressive in the beginning or maybe it just got repetitive and became boring. There needs to be a balance.
I am not saying I condone cheating because it is wrong but I can see how this could cause her to do so. What she need to do I come to her husband like the whore she wants him to treat her like. Instead of letting him initiate the sex she need to come ready to play her part and take control. She needs to show him what she can do in bed. Yell scream holla do tricks. Whatsever she like to do with her boytoy she needs to do to her husband. Maybe once he sees this in his wife he will enjoy it himself or see how much she enjoys it.
There is a time for romance and a time for down right freaky sex. There needs to be a balance.
Pingback: Fair Enough, Eros « The Whoring Twenties
http://thepalmsweekend.com James Dunn

When you divorce you're breaking your wedding vows. When you cheat you're breaking your wedding vows. So what makes one worse than the other in a religious context?
Jessica Able

I just stumbled across this and wow!
The people calling names - That not cool. You know, I have been on this earth long enough to watch my husband swear he would never do anything to hurt me and then 3 years later do just what he said he wouldn’t do. Right now you single women are all, "give that man to me, I wouldn’t cheat on him" but your reacting to one persons story and the story aint even that of Mr. or Mrs. Jones!
I hope all of you who are so high up on your judgment thrones, never ever have situations happen to you which make you change your opinion of someone or your outlook and you can stay that mighty.
There is only one Judge of your life and mine. None of you are without sin; so stop casting stones. Who gets drunk? Who swears? Who smokes? Who’s had sex before marriage? Who lies? Shall I continue? God capable of great anger, but like any parent he can also forgive. I hope Mr. and Mrs. Smith can work it out with God help and as for you all with you hateful, spiteful venom – go look at the reasons why you felt you had to comment in this way.
ln

Pathetic you guys think its fine to mess about-what the hell does marriage mean now? Its not right whats happening, it doesnt matter if shes male or female. If she wanted whore-sex like that she should have the decency and tell him. She should drag him into the bed and make him the whore if he's so clueless; whats the point of being married if you cannot communicate? You guys suck at being married this person is supposed to be your best friend and love of your life if he's not or you're too immature to communicate you dont deserve to be married.
Bildukas111

i like such woman,maybe i wont my wife turn into slut
Davidallancarnes

Adultery is bad, but it doesn't make a woman a whore to want to be fucked HARD. What's wrong with that? If you love your lady, GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS! JACKHAMMER HER if that's what she wants. Wanting to be fucked doesn't make a woman a whore--an indiscriminate attitude towards selecting sexual partners does. When a man calls a woman a whore or a slut, odds are he's dying to fuck her and is angry because she's fucking someone else instead of him.
Dan

good thing these were liberated.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Ricky-James-Moore-II/1685116178 Ricky James Moore II

'Cheating' is conceptually meaningless. Life is not a game you play for anything less than winning. It's all about you, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to exploit you.

There are two kinds of people: egoists and liars.
Louisbowenjr

ive tried fucking my wife like a whore, she is not into all that. the bedroom is really boring. try to do something different, n its always the same thing, "cant you just rub me". then it leads to a clitoris orgasm, then i get on top. sometimes i perform oral to give her an orgasm, then im on top. but its always the same thing. its pretty boring to be honest about it.
planner

My wife needs to be taken hard often. She doesn't want a bunch of kissing or oral stimulation, she just wants me to take her, right then. Don't have to be in the bedroom. Sometimes if I get home first, I shower, wear a g-string she bought me and greet her at the door with only that on, tell her to get on her knees and be my bitch. We have sex all over the house those nights and she loves it, the harder the better. She loves to know that I'm in charge those nights, just as I love her to be in charge other nights. Sometimes on trips she gives me a bj while we're driving or we stop along the road and just do it. She likes what we call "honeymoon sex" because it lets her know just how much I adore her. She likes to be spanked, tied to a bed, bent over the couch or just about any other place...but she also enjoys, shower sex, the full body rub before I muff dive and she loves me cuming on her chest..(why I don't know) but hey, I don't object. I have never thought of getting any strange nor has she...we took our vowes seriously. That does not mean however, it ever has to be boring. Wives and husbands that take their partner like "cavemen or cavewomen" every now and then are just showing each other how comfortable and happy their are with them. She loves licking gel off my cock when it's hard as can be as do I. It isn't about being slutty to us, it's about passion and we both have a lot of that for each other.
Ty

All women need to be fucked out nice and deep till they orgasm and once she do don't stop keep fucking her over and over and over again then eat her out nice and slow for 20 to 30 mins and fuck her some more then afterwards just hold her and then fuck her again and again! That's what all women want and if your not giving it this way trust it's just a matter of time and place for her to run into the right person that will check that nicely for her! Yummy!,!!
hotwife_owner

About. Two years ago I made up a fake username on messenger and started
texting my wife saying I had met her in a bar one night when she was
wasted and she gave me her number. Told her how hot she was and how bad I
wanted to fuck her. Told her about threesomes and how good shed be at
them. After I convinced her to talk to her “husband” about it she
started getting all freaky and slutty during sex. I acted like I was a
little bothered at first but soon I warmed up to the idea. Eventually
this mystery man disappeared but her desire to be used and abused by
different men while I watched became stronger and stronger. Today I’m
married to the biggest fucking three hole whore the world has ever seen.
She’s fucked 17 men in the last year and she’s nowhere near ready to
slow down. I’m the happiest pervert in town! On our anniversary I saw
her DP’d in our bed and took sloppy thirds after they were done with
her!!Read more: Ways to Turn Your Girlfriend into a Slut Without Making Her Feel Slutty | CricketSoda.com http://cricketsoda.com/2009/07/how-to-make-your-wife-slutty/#ixzz1o38JjWcZ
Disgustedhumanbeing

In my own rationale, she is saving money for this man. I have much respect for a prostitute who tries to make a living than a comfortable wife who go out and have sex with someone else.

Her husband takes all responsibilities and the other guy(s) get it for free.
FantasyVShonesty

I started having bfs in my early 20ish where I had two bfs at the same time, which was fun from the start and it ended up badly. One wanted to marry me after I told him that we were done. I didn't mention I deceived him. My ex married man tried to divorce his wife (I then said that I never give him a hard time of being married). I was freaking out. When I saw my ex went through breakdown, I realized that I shouldn't keep/treat a relationship like a baseball game. The married man ex-wife kept calling me begging not to see her husband anymore.

Me being a cheater never bug me, but it also hurt me when I hurt others. If I knew how it would end, I wouldn't keep them longer than 4 weeks. That's the story of my life.

I was indecisive and immature human being. It was all about feeding my impulses. I had some suitors, but I picked these men. I was proud of myself being able to have handsome men and they were both successful people.

Later in my life, I have been consistent. I have been married for 8 years. Sexually, I'm still as usual. It's making me crazy and my husband.

Do I want to cheat while keeping him? No, I will never. I will file a divorce if kinkiness does matter than the good relationship I have built with my husband.

My main point is that I will divorce my husband if I want (wild) sex
that bad. After I make that choice, I would not want to remember me or
him. I'm still madly in-love with him after 8 years being together.
FantasyVShonesty

Mrs. Jones is not far apart from people who have personality disorders. She doesn't understand that her husband will get hurt. She plays harder and harder, and hoping that she will not get caught.

If she has self-respect, she should leave the man alone.
jayc

agreed - partner started off playing Kingdom of Camelot, installed an app called touch bought new underwear and went a little crazy.
Also spotted a find hotel app on her phone.

Just a pitty about the 2 kids and time we have spent together.

This has definitely opened my eyes as she was also extremely protective always freaking out if I went out with work mates for drinks friday and or checking my phone for suspicious activity. I have always been solid and 100% faithful.

A pitty as I have turned away that much ass and ass that is 10x better than her flat ass. No longer. lol.

I view the relationship in a different light now, bank accounts already split with some lame arsed excuse I made up that the stupid bought, all personal mail redirected to another property. Two weeks and I will be checking out.
jayc

time we spent to gether. 14years. met when we were 19 and now 33.

Good thing i'm still young and fit.