Someone brought this up in the comment section the other day (I read them all) and I figured it deserved further discussion. Apparently there are a lot of grown ass people—male and female—that still reside with their mama-n-dem. Now before folks blindly pass judgment, even my ass may have never left the nest had I been dealt a different hand. Let me explain…
I lived at home until I was 24. Some may say that was too long for a man to be living at home, but I was actually there to help my single mother raise my three siblings, who are a decade plus behind me in age. Even though I had the basement apartment setup with my own entrance, kitchen and bathroom, I always felt a way about telling a woman that I still lived with my mama. After years of saving and waiting for my siblings to get a little bit older, I bought my first co-op and moved out on December 1, 2001. Everything was straight, I had a good job with a great salary and was doing it up until disaster struck.
Approximately a year later, on December 17, 2002, I got let go from my dream job and didn’t get another full-time gig for another three years. Chances are if I had lost my job a year earlier I never would have moved out and been stuck at my mama’s house ’til I was 27. Although I was making decent paper as a freelance writer, would females look at me sideways for being in my late 20s and still living at home? If they got to know me, probably not, but I still think the idea of a man living at home past a certain age doesn’t earn you much point with the ladies—on face value at least.
On the flipside, I don’t think females have the same stigma attached to living at home for an extended period of time. I’ve dated a few women in their late 20s and even early 30s that lived under their parent’s roof. I may have turned a side-eye initially, but since I had my own abode I didn’t stress it that much. I just knew any potential action would be happening at my place.
Now if both people live at home or have a tight roommate situation, then you’re assed out on all counts. I remember one of my homegirls that lived at home wound up talking to this guy that shared an apartment with his cousin. Okay, that’s not as bad as a grown ass man living with his mama, but homeboy’s spot was so small that he and his male cousin had to share a bed. (I always wondered if that was really his “cousin” or his down low lover, but I digress…). Needless to say, my homegirl saw that scenario and got the hell up out of Dodge with the quickness and told him to kick rocks—as I’m sure any female in her right mind would do.
So how do y’all feel about grown folks that still live at home with their parents? Is it a major turn-off? Do you take special circumstances into consideration, like getting laid off or saving up for a house, into consideration before shunning a potential boo? Does it make a difference if it’s a female or a male living at home? Why do females tend to get a pas son this? What if you were dating someone that had their own place and then some tragedy happened that forced them to move back at home? How old is too old for someone—male or female—to be living at home?
Speak your piece…
BONUS: Check me out giving the ladies over at Essence.com (click HERE) some manly advice on how to tell if a man is feeling you or not. Be sure to comment on their site and let them know how you feel about my advice. Maybe that could become a regular thing