The Relationship Hierarchy (How Guys Categorize Women)

0 Posted by - February 25, 2009 - Dear NWSO, Relationships, Love & Marriage

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Early last week I did a post called “Definition of a Jump-Off.” I got a lot of interesting feedback on it and varying classifications on the term from people, but one comment in particular stood out. It came from a new reader named Elle, who actually posted a comment that broke down different relationship titles in a dope hierarchy based on a sports analogy. He She says a buddy of his hers once shared it with him her and he she decided to pass it along for critique. Since Elle posted this way after most of you read the original blog, I decided to turn the reigns over to an impromptu guest blogger and share this Relationship Hierarchy. It actually reminds me of another post I did a while back called “How Relationships Are Defined.” Although I don’t co-sign everything below, check out the list and let me know your thoughts: Did this hit the nail on the head or miss its mark?

UPDATE: In error, I assumed “Elle” was a guy when in fact she is all woman. My bad.

Speak your piece…

 

“The Relationship Hierarchy” by Terrence L.

 

WIFE
This is the top spot. What we all strive to have and maintain. There are no pretenses here. A bond that has been cemented before God, family and country; this is not to be played with. This sister is the power behind you, your rib, your lover, and your friend. Screw up and she makes your life difficult. Do right and you get bodied like she was Beyoncé, Jesus!

FIANCÉ
The penultimate step before ascension. If marriage is the championship, then this is the finals. The only thing standing in her way to the throne is a damn good plan and a nice summer day.

WIFEY
Not to be confused with an actual wife, this is the sister you have been in a committed relationship with for sometime and have come to love, trust and respect. There is no fairy tale at this stage. You know the ins and out, and in all probability y’all already shaking. Your SSN? She knows it. Your ATM code? She knows it, too. Guess what, she’s read your nonsense on BP (BlackPlanet), too. Just be warned: the only thing keeping her from the fiancé spot is a nice piece of jewelry and your lack of courage. Consider this the conference championships.

WOMAN
Welcome to the playoffs. The beginning of the “real” run. This happens when, A) pressure is applied by the right hand to make her official, thereby matching her pay to the work she’s doing or B) pressure from your mama to stop playing around. At any rate, the commitment is official. While small time, things start to heat up at this stage and you are one weekend visit from having a wifey. Like the playoffs, this is really win or go home.

RIGHT HAND
C’mon, fellas, we know who this sista is. She’s the one always on our arm and handling our day to day. She’s at all the barbecues. You hitting it raw. She can use your phone. I mean, she’s the workhorse. Only problem is y’all ain’t never made it official, so you (and she) can still do what you want to the ire of the other person. (It’s usually when one of the parties will then try to lock the contract down). This stage is critical because during this time you will decide is she will make the playoffs or get to rebuild her team next year under a different GM (general manager). BTW: Remember that threesome she DIDN’T give you? Didn’t that factor in your discussion to promote her?

JUMP-OFF
Similar to the right hand, this sister is usually by your side for only the fun shit. The serious stuff in your life is not her concern, but when the drinks is flowing, when the party’s jumping, she will be there. However, due to the lack of balance there is little or no chance of y’all being serious. The upside is that she’ll probably give you that threesome with her girl. At this point, y’all just having a good time until the right hand or woman ends this dynamic. This is like being the Atlanta Braves. Damn good during the season but rarely gets it done.

MAIN
For those of you dating multiple folks, this is the one that keeps rising to the top. This stage is tricky because she can either go to the dead end zone of jump off or become the more maneuverable right hand. This all depends on how you guys interact. Yup this is the second half of the regular season.

BETTIES, CHICKS, & OL’ GIRL
This is the first half of the regular season. The sister you just meet and she got a lil something going on for herself. It’s during this stage you decide if she’s going to have a strong second half and make the run for the post-season, or by midseason she’ll be traded for a draft pick, some cash and a minor league player to be named later.

BUST DOWNS & CHICKEN HEADS
These are players that just want to fill the stadiums without improving the teams. (Think: Cubs before this season). Good for only sex with you and your boys, because you know for a fact they’ll be out of the running three weeks into the season.

ROOKIES
Welcome to the game young’n. These are the sisters who are 18-22, just leaving for college and entering the league. How we treat them at this stage, coupled with their home training will determine where they land. Fellas, do your rookies right. (Take that however you want to.)

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  • McLovinIsFresh

    This is exactly how me and my homies speak about women. It hits it right on the head for me and it always helps to have sports analogies. Well put.

  • LL

    Yeah, I saw “Terrence” Write this awhile back(last year)……

    I thought it was somewhat on point with how I’ve seen many men do things.

  • http://ifuxwitit.blogspot.com Janee TMB

    I like this. I’m a big fan of short and sweet and this was definitely entertaining and to the point… I particularly liked the breakdown of the “Right Hand” category.

  • Casandra

    From a woman’s point of view, well said-well done. Only problem: too many good women get damaged in the process and end up getting traded, demoted and even, kicked out the league. I have a problem wth the inhumanity. Fellas, can you find a better “screening” method. Stop the carnage and devestation!

  • P.Lynn

    I definitely appreciate this blog. Ot clears up alot.

  • P.Lynn

    It clears up alot.LOL

  • sway

    i think ol’ boy explained it very well. some females and men don’t know there place. maybe now some will know. in my last relationship i was the right hand with the wifey status and ended up with the baby, now im at no status…lol

  • distinguishedgentlewoman

    Men, listen: If we’re gonna f**k, then let’s f**k. If we’re gonna just kick it as friends who do the do every once in a while, then let’s do that. If we’re gonna do the romance thing that leads to sex and commitment that leads to marriage, then let’s do that. Don’t put me in any category. If you do, keep it to your damn self. When you put women in categories and lists like these you set yourself up for major Q&A sessions. And you might end up losing a good thing by not having the right answer. Or you might get your feelings hurt when you find out you’re not in the category you thought you were in. Just be, folks. It’s not rocket science.

  • Tee

    I really enjoyed this.. LOL .. having grown up around 6 brothers and 5 uncles and numerous male cousins .. I have to say that this ‘hits the nail on the head’ .. quite accurately.

    Thanks.

  • DefCon4

    booooooooo to categories LOL

  • K-Love

    Sickening but true…We all want to reach the thrown of wife meaning we run shytt…Well put. I just talked to my sister the other day when her man called her “shorty”…She was livid. It turned into a 2 hour conversation on what women are. But define wifey as “wife why?” almost but not quite”. But too many labels.

  • Anonymous

    This was perfect…

  • Peachy

    WOW…my home girls and I have actually broken relationships down in a very similar manner(not so much with the sports …but very similar) …especially the break down between “Wifey” and “Wife” because there is SUCH a diffrence and thats where people get confused alot ….this blog just gets better every day

  • TMurph

    I’m sickened by this…truly

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ 2-plz-u

    Speak on it, if you got a ladies list for the guys and you think it can rival Elle’s (lol) send it over and i’ll see if I can post it.

    NakedWithSocksOn@gmail.com

  • YoungJay

    Best List I’ve ever seen…The transition from Main to Woman is usually were things go crazy!

  • musicman

    This is classic. Decribes the situations to a “T” My boy has a basketball analogy that actually takes this to a more granular level, where you ascend to being the coach. wife=PG the Jumpoff is the center, because their utility.

    I’m trying to find a right hand right now…LMAO

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Seriously..

    My name is Bennett and I ain’t in it.. LOL, i posted my disclaimer from jump

    :P

  • 2-plz-u

    lol i have to agree with the listing as well its sad but its true and no matter what it will always be in affect so we as women better stay on our a game lol but dont think their isnt a list for the brothas too….

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    Here we go again…..labels and games….It’s funny how some people just roll with this disrespect…..like i said b4 Terrance is a cool dude but as we get older most of us mature and dont play games. There’s 3 categories friends, partners(as in dating) and marriage that’s it end of story…..i know chicken heads with their crafty azzes who have gotten “wifey” status info but still treated as a chicken head! I know so~called chicken heads who is treated as wifey in certain situations and wives who are treated as chicken heads…..It’s also funny how men say women are confusing but with all these labels and definitions it’s no wonder so many of them get caught up in unecessary drama…..you state ur biz from jump reiterate as time goes on and there is no room for error!!!!

  • da ThRONe

    @Seriously, No Seriously

    I dont think this is disrespectful just dumb and immature(this is coming from me the king of immature-ville),but come on you play it by ear. This sound like something I would have done in Jr. high. When I meet a girl I ask 1 question can this be something serious and I keep dating her tell the answer is no. I have a rating scale measuring women physical beauty but labeling a person potential or there status in your life is stupid sorry pimpin’ not insulting you but this is bad and if you think like this your setting yourself up to miss out on something great.

  • distinguishedgentlewoman

    And while these boys are busy having a good laugh putting labels on women and putting us into categories, some other dude is doing the same thing to the female members of your family. LOL indeed!

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    @ Throne

    i guess what i meant as disrespect is how the women are jumping to the labels they are the ones who are allowing themselves to hold such lables and go around boasting and bragging on it. I guess growing up in the hood and hanging around grown azz ppl who live, eat & sleep by these immature labels as if they were battling for their country but actually fighting for their position in ONE man’s life! it just saddens me how black ppl continue to keep ourselves down with such nonsense and we pass it on to the next generation! Now I don’t know how old the man was who first posted this Hierarcy(which came from another grown man~Terrance) but NWSO(who is of a mature age~no disrespect u do a great job with ur blogs) reposted it and look how many ppl agreed and gave big~ups and want one for the women?!!! SMH!!!…..but hey free country freedom of speech but it’s the small simple things that keep us down!

  • Nicki

    I usually dont comment, but I love reading the blogs! This rating scale is crazy. This is wny dating goes wrong much of the time. All it takes is maturity and honesty. If you meet a person and its just a sex thing speak up and keep going. If a person wants a relationship, speak up. Everyone can make an informed decision and no one gets hurt. This method is tried and true by me, it works and keeps the stupid games at bay. Men and women we need to grow up!

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    @distinguishegentlwoman

    I totally agree they don’t stop to think that passing along these labels someone treating their daughter, sister, cousin, mother like a chicken head……and their daughter, sister, cousin, mother accepting those labels

  • trubian

    Very nice post. I have my own categories but the list is not as extensive. Too many categories breed confusion. Keep it simple. Also it is not a game, its merely a way to apply fore thought in intro stage of relationships, whether potentially serious dating or casual. Those who assume themselves playas and treat this as solely a game MVP their egos will forever remain in minor leagues.

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    @NWSO

    I know it’s a whole lot of Bennetts around……each one teach one…..*raised eyebrow*

  • LL

    For those that don’t like the labels, do you label those you have relationships with?

    Or just treat them in like manner?

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Mimi in the OC

    Hey, check out this old post on a friend of mine that employed a similar time limit on courtship.

    http://www.nakedwithsockson.com/2008/10/15/six-degrees-of-desperation-what-man-wants-that/

    I got a crazy archives people see categories list below. LOL

  • http://rewindandcomeagain.blogspot.com alysimone

    i don’t see the problem with the labels. My friends and I label guys in a similar manner. It’s just an easy way to quickly have your relationship / situation understood by either yourself or the person your speaking to.

    ie ‘so me and mike went to this party the other day..’ ‘ mike who? mike your man or mike your shawty?’ now if is said mike my man, whatever story i relay will have a different tone than if i’m talking bout mike my shawty

    ..and the categories are flexible and specific to your circle/situation.

    personally these are pretty accurate in my world…and hilariously written..

  • Mimi in the OC

    I’ve registered to this blog recently and I am glad I did because I can relate to a lot of the topics and this article definitely raised my attention.

    I was aware of a certain classification. Growing up around 2 male brothers and 2 male cousins has definitely helped me envision clearly the male perspective, especially we are all really close in the family. My brothers are my best friends, they actually provide me with too much information. Additionally, I have been my mother’s best friend since I was 15 (for the best or the worse), hence I have been knowing what’s going down in the “parental relationship” for a while now.

    Considering this great amount of information, becoming a “wife” is not a primary goal in life. My goal in life is to be happy. Don’t get me wrong I do want to get married at some point and definitely want kids. However, every person I date, hang out with, see, or even fall in love with is not “marriage” potential and that goes for both men and women.
    What bothers me in interactions with males (whether it’s dating, hanging out, kicking it, seeing each other, relationships, jump-off), at least in my experience is the “blurriness”. What do I mean? Maybe it’s just me, but when I interact with a man, I like both of us to clearly define and agree which state we are in. It allows me to see what could or can’t be my expectations and if I am actually interested in being this state with him. From what I’ve seen, most guys will avoid as long as possible the definition of a state, so that they can lead you on. Many times, supposedly they’ll make you think or lead you to believe that the interaction is what YOU (the female) want it to be. NOT TRUE. In any kind of relation there has to be a mutual agreement for both parties to be on the same page.
    In my case, I am extremely emotional and have come to realize with time, I cannot stay in situations that don’t satisfy me otherwise it will impact my professional/educational life. I am not scared to be single and have always been independent, even though I know I could use a man in my life.
    So how do I resolve this issue? Well I decided I had to put a time limit to the “blurriness”. My time limit is currently 3 to 6 months, depending on how much I like the guy and how much satisfaction I get, whether it’s sexual, emotional, intellectual, financial. or various combination of the above.

    Nevertheless, I wonder how do other females deal with the “blurriness”? How long do you stick before you decide you have to move on? And guys, why don’t you want to define a state? My guess is that you are aware that some females who are not getting what they want will move on? Am I right, or tell me what’s up with that?

  • da ThRONe

    To Everybody

    Putting humanbeings in categories is a game.(he was even talking in baseball terms) If you cant come right out and just say what you want and how you feel thats a game. Everybody going into a relationship feels the need to protect themselves but that is something different all together. Labeling people is just childish and selfish you dont need a system to tell you who your serious about and who your just having fun with. What you should be focus on is are you being honest with that person and yourself.

    I am not at all against dating multiple people as long as your honest about it and the nature of that relationship. The problems with labels is this you meet a girl at first you and your friends put her into the jump-off box for whatever reason. Later you and that girl find out that you have more in common than you thought and that you really like her. Some people are so weak minded that they would pass on a girl thats perfect because of where he label her earlier because of what all his boys might think. Thats why you treat everybody with honesty and respect even the girls that might not seem like the wifey type.

  • Lonias

    @distinguishedgentlewoman
    PREACH!!!

    I think the sting that the truth in this list leaves behind is worth it. The rookie definition/explanation is the most important. The author of the list did leave out one variable: how the rookie ALLOWS men to treat her factors in to the category she ends up in, too!
    No, you can never go back, but whether this message is for you or someone else, it needs to be said…
    And the damage someone spoke of is real, but sometimes we have to hear painful truth to make a necessary life change…silence has never been known to solve a problem…
    Let the men speak, ladies!

  • da ThRONe

    @Mimi in the OC

    I think the reason most guys fear giving a women the “Go Ahead” that shes the 1 is we fear it will bring about a change in behavior. I have seen so many females pull a Jykell and Hyde thing enuff to feel any mans pain. Even in my own personal experience. When I date a girl at 1st we could laugh about everything and I could point out another female and say something about her i liked and she would either agree or disagree but it was never a problem. She worshipped the ground that I walk on until it was confirmed that she was the 1 she pull the “180” and turned out to be somebody completely different. There is no worst feeling watching someone so beautiful change into someone so hideous in front of your very own eyes!

  • Jay

    Relationships broken down to a science…Dope. Loved it

  • da ThRONe

    Any person who allows themselves to be labeled isnt much of in adult to being with! I am a very giving person but if i found out that a girl only reason for dealing with me is because i give her stuff imma bounce. And i think thats the problem with labels if someone found out they have “so in so” label how would they react? If your a girl and your digging on a dude and think the feeling is mutual and find out your his “jump off” how are you going feel?
    l

  • DragonFly

    Sorry, but I’m not feeling being categoried in some lame ass high school style sports themed hierarchy by men who are too immature to first, tell a woman what he really wants from her and let her decide if she wants to be down with that…and second, wouldn’t enjoy being categorized in similar ways based on what’s important/valuable to women (i.e. how educated he is, where he lives, what he drives, how good in bed, does he work out or eat McDonalds ere’ day, is he packing, does HE have relationship potential, could go on).

    I’m with “distinuguished”, I hope they all have daughters!

    That said, you can only be what you allow yourself to be. No man who knows me would ever refer to me as “ol’ girl”. Ha!

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    @ Throne

    but when does that fear of Ms Hyde coming out subside?…….with COMMUNICATION, TRUST and UNDERSTANDING. The example you gave about commenting on another woman to ur mate in the “honeymoon” stage of ur relationship and then saying another comment about a woman when the honeymoon is over…..how do you know that the woman was fine with the comment to begin with?(COMMUNICATION) she coulda been thinking this guy done lost his mind asking me about another woman……she maybe thinking ok imma let him slide on this one feel him out a little more and yes she dont want to rock the boat for fear of losing out on a good thing(rare commodity)(TRUST)…history has proven that a woman can be a dime piece and give a man the world and he will still step out on her……now on the flipside of that same scenerio but the woman is making the comment………how would you fell or what would be your reaction to her commenting on another dude? History has shown us that a man can give a woman the word and she will step out on you and keep it a tight secret(we all know women are better liars~so i’m told LOL)…..so you have to communicate, trust and have an understanding of where each other is coming from….all that to say…..people(men & women) fail to commit when they are having fun! LOL….why rock the boat if you dont have to….why grow in a relationship if you’re satisfied with what you have……..but we all know life happens whether we want to or not……the risk of holding out and not commiting………you lose everything!

  • da ThRONe

    @Dragonfly

    Hey lets not tee-off on the brothers! LOL They’re ladies on here who are already saying they do the same thing to men so lets be fair.

  • da ThRONe

    @Seriously, No Seriously

    Me just speaking for myself I wanna know everything about the girl i love everything. I wasnt her ideal “type” and i knew it and she wasnt my ideal “type” and she knew it(by type im talking phyiscally she liked dark skinned, chubby dudes go figure right LOL ). If she had a problem she should have said something from day 1. Its dishonest to not be yourself the person you meet when you meet me is the person i am i dont hold any punches. I am very honest(maybe to much so) but its a take it or leave it thing with me(I get left a lot LOL). If you know being yourself will run people either change or stay the same but being dishonest is never cool. And for the record if that was hurting her feeling and she said something i would’ve never done it again( i dont know why it did in the 1st place i never gave her any reasons to think she wasnt more than enuff).

  • Mimi in the OC

    @ Da Throne
    @ NWSO

    Thank you for your guidance, however I feel like you’re not really answering my question.

    I don’t put a time limit because I haven’t been told whether I am the one or not, it’s smaller than that.

    Like I said, I am not looking for the one, I don’t really think you look for the one, and that is assuming he/she exists. The way I go about it is based on my needs of the “moment” I will enjoy or not a certain type of situation.
    What I am trying to say is I don’t aim for the “wife” spot, I aim for the spot that fits me at that particular time. The spot I usually aim for is more than hanging out but definitely not a relationship…yes that tells you I have personal issues with commitment but that’s another topic.

    I guess I just like defined boundaries, it’s not about being told I am the one, it’s about finding out if this is a fit for me or not. And I’m sure I have cancelled out some potential opportunities to whatever it is I was looking for, but uncertainty is not a state of mind I easily deal with.

    Concerning the transformation you mentioned, it doesn’t surprise me. Based on my exposure to relationship and marriage, when you reach those points more will be expected form you.

  • asj

    this is the truth.. its short and to the point and gives you insight into the male psyche LOL

  • Ameretta

    Wow!

    What a topic!! It’s funny but all so sad….Regardless of how we women present ourselves, men will put labels for us!

    But let’s tell the truth! We don’t put labels on men?

    I know I do! Here my shot at it!

    1. Husband- Top level!
    2. Your Guy (Hubby)- Almost there, just waiting for the ring
    3. Maintence Man- He’s there when you call. He has no problem helping you when you are low on funds or low on enjoyment. He could be your guy but didn’t neither one of you set your terms.
    4.Nomination Man- You like his style, you like how he holds himself, you could have been dating other people but this fella got some type of hold on you. He won the nomination to your gates!
    5. “oooo this guy I just met”- no need for clarification.

  • randomgirl

    I guess I am the bustdown. Ha ha ha

  • Anonymous

    @ Seriously No Seriously:

    you wrote, “I totally agree they don’t stop to think that passing along these labels someone treating their daughter, sister, cousin, mother like a chicken head……and their daughter, sister, cousin, mother accepting those labels”

    Come on now. Look…if a cornball is trying to shoehorn himself next to you at the bar to offer a drink, and you give him a frown and blow him off ‘no thanks, Im fine’—did you just treat him like your son, brother, cousin, dad?

    No. Those labels presume a certain inherent intimacy and respect, and one would be a fool to treat any old dude with that label of respect.

    Likewise Im not treating any and every woman like my ‘daughter, sister, cousin, mother’. Doesnt mean I dont show a certain degree of fundamental manners and respect, cause I was raised right.

    But in the game of mate selection, as old and as natural as the day humans first walked the planet, you will classify your options in SOME kind of way–stars in a little black book, grades, ratings, labels, SOMETHING. I knew a girl in school who created a spreadsheet and algorithim for ranking boys her and her girls lusted after, or mocked.

    So no this isnt inherently male or inherently sexist, its inherently human to have this kind of silly shop talk for explaining your degree of feelings and commitment.

  • Caribeza

    Hmmm.. people will always label or categorize people in their lives (some people may like more detail or not).. regardless I think that whether you’re a girl or a boy (or man or woman).. it simply comes down to this…

    1) You’re ready to get married and this is the person who you want to be wife/husband/mother/father of your kids.

    Everything else is based on the fact that you’re simply not ready for whatever reason.

    2) You’re not ready to get married but this person is who’d you’d want to be wife/husband/mother/father of your kids… and you don’t want to let them go else you might lose them … (whether you have sex with other people or not).

    3) Person who on the outside looks like wife/husband/mother/father of your kids … but the sex is damn good and you don’t want to give it up even though you know you’ll never want to commit.

    4) Person who the sex is the bomb and you just wanna access to it… You smile/ lie/ avoid/ take the rest of their shit so you don’t lose this golden goose.

    5) Person who the sex is aiight but they listen to your problems and are always there for you…

    6) Person where sex is aiight/great/da bomb and you had the opportunity and were in the frame of mind to get some that night.

    7) Person who you haven’t had sex with but the interest is there and you keep them in your life in some form hoping you’ll eventually have the chance to find out if they’re one of the above 6 categories.

    To me… all dating relationships fall in one of these.

    Interesting post :).

  • http://jeremybiggers.blogspot.com J-Bigg

    This was PERFECTLY articulated. I agree 100%.

  • Sky_Bluzie

    Wowzer! The way guys do women and they way we let guys do us. SMDH.

  • da ThRONe

    Im sick of females playing the victim all the time. Most females treat other females alot worst than males. As juvenile as labels are they arent insults there just childish titles.

  • DragonFly

    @ Throne…True, true. But I’m not feeling as connected to their cause! lol

    Plus, we could get into a long debate about the difference between men and women, emotions and sex, expectations and what a woman really wants when she beds some fine brotha. But then I’d be making blanket statements to the affect of: “Yeah, but most men probably enjoy being part of some womans sexual hierarchy”.

    We don’t have an equivalent to all of these roles. I would argue that for a woman (most), which may be our problem, the top 3 could be rolled all into one simple type of relationship called “my man” and the bottom 3 (minus the rookie cause grown women don’t tend to go there with boys) into one category called my friend.

    There are really only 3 levels for women:

    1. my friend who is a male (we don’t sex)
    2. my friend with sexual benefits (we may be building, we may not)
    3. my man (serious BF, fiance, married, going hm with me on christmas)

    At least the women I know…

  • DragonFly

    Oooh, forgot to say, real women don’t do “bust downs” either…what do i look like sexin a dude that my girl has/is/will sex too. Pah!

  • http://www.superlovelyful.com -h*

    NWSO,
    I know you posted a disclaimer with this, but isn’t putting it out there in a post a quiet co-sign of some degree? Just asking.

    My two cents:

    I’m seriously hoping men are deeper than this and that a list like this is representative of only a small, substandard subsection of the gender. If not, I’m going on hiatus, freezing my eggs and putting my stock in cryogenics so I can wait it out and date in the far far future when the human race is more evolved.

  • litabia

    I don’t think that these were labels at all these are level and stages of relationships. Everything has a label or name and rather you are placed in a category that you don’t agree with does not make you a bad person or less of person. That’s like me writing out the stages of life. (1) baby- when you are first born, little human being (2) child-coming into your own (3) I think u get the picture. I think this chart/hierarchy/stages of relationship for women is dead on and I can probably add a few. Nice post.

  • Spinster

    I HATE the term “wifey” It annoys the shit out of me.

    Besides that, DAMN….. if this is how men talk, then dammit….. don’t talk about me at ALL.

    *curls lips in disgust*

  • Spinster

    I also hate “jump-off” and “chickenhead”. Ugh.

    Call me a fuckin’ prude. Whatever.

  • http://www.funkyminds.blogspot.com CChery

    Very well done. I’m gonna have to further weigh in on this one over at my spot.

  • LL

    Yes men use labels…..

    And when they find a woman they really want to label they make her a “wife”……..

    Which is a label or a term that is used to describe a woman he is committed to.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @h*,

    Nope, just thought it was “interesting” and worth discussing. Honestly, I’m quite surprised at how many people co-signed—both male & female.

    **Shrugs, and goes to rethink life**

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Elle,

    My bad, I honestly wasn’t sure if the “L” in Terrence L stood for Elle, if you were Terrence L or male or female based on asexual user name. So my bad on giving you a blog sex change.. LOL

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Elle,

    How we know the boobies is real?

    Might need further inspection from the jury…

    LMAO

  • Elle

    LoL…wow… I didnt think this would trigger a whole new “article”.

    I thought Terrence was on point with it and therefore shared it with you in said post.

    Oh and PS: Elle is a she :-)

  • Elle

    Blog sex change … ouch … *looking down to see if the boobies are still there* … phew!

    No problem. I guess my online persona is sort of asexual after all.

  • Elle

    Lmao!!! Inspection isn’t necessary when you watch a woman run/jog.

    But you can always dream, right :-P

  • YoungJay

    Do ladies group guys into levels ? Any ladies care to share their list?

  • Elle

    Personally, I guess women do it all the time. Maybe not on a “scientific” level like the above mentioned hierarchy. I believe it’s a human trait to label things, to categorize. We all feel the need for some sort of structure to the mess we call life. Why else would we need labels such as “wrong”, “right”, good”, “bad” yadda yadda.

    All this “labelling is bad” talk is hypocritical in my opinion. Yes, it isn’t the mature thing to do. But come on now. If it’s not a sports analogy, it’s some other differentiating factor to determine whether the man in your life is just a friend with benefits, a homie, a boyfriend, a fiance or a husband. Not every man stands the same chance from the get go. Whoever claims that lies. Sometimes a man is as dumb as a brick but so sexy that women don’t care to get to know him. Instead he get’s the “sex toy” stamp and a pat on the butt before we send him on his way.

    We don’t even have to go as far as relationships. Just looking at the different kinds of friends we have is enough to know that we all are being labeled all the time. There is the best friend who is like a sister/brother, there is friend you only party with, then there is the buddy you randomly see but you all are cool, there is the brief acquaintance whose number you keep in your phone in case you need him/her….and so on.

    So yea, we label. All of us.

  • Anonymous

    h*,

    Men CAN be deeper than that, sure. But few people live in a “deep” place 24-7 no matter who when or where. Those that try to, are usually misunderstood geniuses or annoying pricks. So I say again, this is a human trait. Perhaps humans annoy you enough to freeze your eggs and yourself cryogenically until we emerge into the Age of Aquarius. This is understandable of course, I just hope we’re around when you emerge and not a world run by hyperintelligent cockroaches and their artificial intelligence allies.

  • Keia

    From a woman’s point of view, well said-well done. Only problem: too many good women get damaged in the process and end up getting traded, demoted and even, kicked out the league. I have a problem wth the inhumanity. Fellas, can you find a better “screening” method. Stop the carnage and devestation!

    PS. I hear that its time to upagrade to some grown man Sh*t

  • Righteous Mama

    Wow, I can’t believe I actually agree with Da Throne on this one. It’s really immature and fucked up to catagorize and objectify women this way. As if all we do is sit around thinking about where we fall into some man’s picture. Please. I know what I am. If homeboy don’t know it’s his loss.

    And Elle is right as well. Women do label men to some degree as in good, bad, Mr. Right, Mr. Wrong. But most women don’t treat or dismiss men as objects or playthings. There are some that do I admit. Sometimes I wish I could be that cold. But when it comes to sex, most women just turn to mush and we lose our heads and perspective somewhere along the way when we don’t choose wisely. And be clear, WE choose.

    Jesus needs to hurry up and come back and do whatever he gonna do cause men and women have got it twisted. Sex and relationships are not meant to for us to play games with.

  • Seriously, No Seriously

    @ Anonymous
    1st off please do not assume you know me or what I do…..i don’t do the bar/club scene anymore and when I did I wasnt one of those women who thought I was above being courteous to someone who was respectfully being nice! I was taught treat others how you want to be treated and you never know who you may need!….those labels do not generate respect….chickhead,BETTIES, CHICKS, & OL’ GIRL, jump~off, rookie, wifey WTH wife with a y at the end….does that imply they are questionable?…..where is the respect or level of intimacy in those words?….do you call any of your friends or family members those names?…..

    2nd if you read what I wrote you would have noticed that I explained that the women were the ones who were disrespecting themselves by accepting the labels.

    You said “But in the game of mate selection”……..see thats the thing people think chosing a mate is a game and because of that we have the mess we have today……..just because it is doesnt mean i have to accept it!…….

    You said “as old and as natural as the day humans first walked the planet, you will classify your options in SOME kind of way–stars in a little black book, grades, ratings, labels, SOMETHING.”…….yes we all measure up and label people in our heads or in private but its when it spills out into society that causes the craziness, disrespect and vicious cycle of abuse.

    You said “I knew a girl in school who created a spreadsheet and algorithim for ranking boys her and her girls lusted after, or mocked.”……so does that mean just because she did it you have to follow?……..

    You said “So no this isnt inherently male or inherently sexist, its inherently human to have this kind of silly shop talk for explaining your degree of feelings and commitment”……..so have you seen how a chickenhead is treated?……

    Bottom line you have ur opion I have mine I think this kind of “silly shop talk” has kept our relationships(male/female) unhealthy for far too long!

  • Optical_Illusion

    I am so PISSED with myself for not seeing this earlier. Ladies, some of y’all representin’ but you putting sugar on it. I don’t know about you, but I’m too old to care what people think about me anymore. You wanna hear, hear it go!

    Men fall into 4 categories for me:

    1. HUSBAND
    The one that gets it all! ANYTHING he can ask for, you got it. If he is on his deathbed, you’re at the hospital EVERYDAY, wiping his ass and cursing out nurses.

    2. MAN
    He is the one you’re thinking about marrying, but you still have some kinks you want to work out. You let him know where you’re going and who you’re going with (even though you may or may not allow him to roll with you).

    3. DUDE
    He’s your regular. And it is GOOD! You are giving it up to mostly him but you are still using condoms. You are just a little concerned about what he’s doing when he’s not with you, but you ain’t losing no sleep about it.

    4. JUMP-OFF
    You call this one when you feel like being bothered. He a’ight in the bed and you don’t think about him unless you’re throbbing. You hook up with him when “DUDE” ain’t available or you want some variety. He’s never and ain’t going to ever, see the inside of your crib. He barely knows where it is! And he better have that hotel money or he could kick rocks!

    MEN YOU ARE JUST TOO COMPLICATED. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE A GOOD WOMAN WHEN YOU HAVE ONE BECAUSE YOU’RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME PUTTING US INTO A MILLION CATEGORIES.

  • Remy

    Why do we ask what men think as a collective and come back with the response of hating labels or Despising games?
    Well, labels are needed to create general statements. If you don’t want a label then just ask your man instead. If you don’t have one, refer to labels to avoid becoming the wrong one. As for games, that is what so many of them do. The lessons that they are taught come from teamwork, coaching and discipline in what else, game sport. To avoid being played, just learn the game and figure out what is necessary to be designated for that position.

  • da ThRONe

    @Remy

    Females play as many games as males if not more! Stop making it seem like females are the victims and males or the perpetrators. If the man you are dealing with make you feel like you have to decipher game than move on. The problem is females reward that behavior. Ladies have so much more control in relationship but most females rather try to cash in financially than emtionally and thats why men play games. History has proven when its the sensitive bother getting the honey’s more brothers are sensitive. Likewise when its the “bad boys” that gets all the play then more dudes take that approach. Think about it!

  • Ropa

    To be honest, i cant believe people have too much time to waste putting people in groups, for me thats degrading…Simple as. Personally i have had it up to my hair wiv men. Just be straight from the get go…

  • Lovely

    Damn!! You know the game in and out. Spoken by someone who has been everyone last of those women. Two thumbs up!! Every female needs to understand where they are in a relationship so they know what they stand for. Then they will be able to either accept it or move the hell on.

  • Coco

    @ optical illusion

    Spot on., even though I don’t like categories..the reality is we all know someone who we like hanging out with but wouldn’t marry in a million years!

    I just go by the 80/20 rule…Noone is a perfect 10, but there are 8 deal makers or breakers I have that I won’t compromise on.

    The problem on both sides is that men and women keep dealing with people even when they know potential has been exhausted or was never there in the first place. That’s selfish and deceitful.

    Why can’t men and women just be more honest upfront and then move on if its not working? Saves times and feelings.

  • Alicia C

    LOL I liked this one. I think I see how some men may be thinking at times. And my brothers were right: Men are going to do one of two things: they’re going to use you or fall for you.
    We have to figure out if they’re serious, interested or just sportfishing.

    I love it, NWSO. Keep it coming.

  • Ms. Parker

    I had no idea men had women in categories like this…so disgusting!

  • guest

    The assumption here is the “man” is the one deciding! HA!

  • CE

    Way to complicated for just women. If ever women gets important enough to be more title than bitch or woman, shoot me.