Post-Breakup Protocol (What’s Yours, What’s Mine?)
When married couples divorce, everything pretty much gets split right down the middle. What once was “ours” soon gets broken down in not-so-neat piles of “his” and “hers.” For the most part, it all makes sense because both people signed a legal document joining them as man and wife and made an oath before the government God. If there are any disputes over what belongs to whom, high-paid lawyers step in to play mediators. But what happens to people that are just dating when they breakup? No, I don't mean for your ex girlfriend/boyfriend to get a percentage of your wages when the relationship is over, but there are certain things that couples tend to share that have to get divvied up when they go their separate ways.
Depending on how close your ex was to your inner circle, he/she may have forged tight knit relationships with your friends and vice versa. So who gets to keep them in the breakup? I've been stuck in between warring couples before and it's always awkward. As the friend of both parties you have no beef with either, but you always find yourself towing the line between the mutual exes. This is most evident when it comes down to group events, where you sometimes have to choose who to invite and who not to, while not showing any favoritism to either. When it’s totally unavoidable, you just have to give a friendly warning to both of them like, "Hey, your ex is gonna be there too?" But in cases where the break up is bad, the friends usually get divvied up into their original piles of “his” and “hers.”
Another item that usually takes residence on the post-dating chopping block is a location that’s special to the couple. For instance, I can’t tell y'all how many times I've been out with a chick that took me to a restaurant and has been like, "This is my spot, you better not bring no other chicks up in here." Common sense would say never take a man/woman to a spot that another suitor introduced you to because you not only run the risk of getting busted but it's just rude, especially if y’all are still dating. But what happens when y'all breakup? If five years have passed and I’m craving food from that restaurant; am I still not allowed to go with another female just because it’s “your” spot? Am I just supposed to forget it exists because my ex called dibs?
What if we both found the place together and ate there all the time? Who has the right to lay claim to it? The last thing you want to do is run into a bitter ex on a date or while you’re on one yourself at a locale you both frequented. That’s just as bad as introducing someone—friend or romantic—to a spot on the humble only to have he or she usurps the location and claims it as his or her own. Now you don’t even want to go there anymore because this former flame/fling is always all up in what was once your sanctuary. Yet another reason why people need to clear post-breakup protocol.
What's your post-dating protocol? Do you force your friends to take sides in a breakup? Have you ever been the friend stuck in between two bitter exes? As a friend to both, how do you keep the peace and avoid drama? Do you take dates to your favorite restaurant and tell them not to bring anyone else there? Or do you only take “special” people to your favorite restaurant? Have you ever bumped into an ex out on a date at a place y'all used to go? How did it make you feel?
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