Black Girl Lost (You’re Worth More Than Sex)

0 Posted by - March 19, 2009 - Uncategorized

not-average-blk-girl

Earlier this week I was sitting on my couch waiting for the phone to ring so I could do yet another interview when my BlackBerry went off. I reached for the silver device by my side and saw that I had another comment on one of my posts. It was a screen name I didn’t recognize and related to one of my archived posts from back in November, so I clicked the trackball and read the following disturbing message:

“WOW Y’all talking about sex makes me feel so relax I would love to have somebody that I will have sex with more than 5 times per day and that’s definatly (sic) millions of times per week how is that lol? If anyone is interested and want that real good sex send me email to xxxxxx@xxxxxx.com see ya.”

Needless to say I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that a woman would just throw herself out there like that. Yeah, we’re all adults and most of us enjoy sex, but there should be some sort of coherent method to the selection process, right? It shouldn’t just be a first come, first serve basis. Or maybe that’s just me. Whatever the case is, I couldn’t just let that message go unanswered. No, not to take her up on her offer, but to offer this child some advice so I wrote the following response:

@ MS. XXXXX
Peace sis, I don’t know you and mean no offense by this. But is sex that good/important that you post your email to get it from God knows who? What about getting to know someone, knowing the person’s sexual history, when their last STD test was, what their goals are first? And that goes both ways for whoever may or may not respond.
I deplore
 implore you to read this post: ?CLICK HERE. I’m not judging you because like I said I don’t know you and I hope this doesn’t offend you but I’m sure there’s more to you and you want more from a man than having sex a million times a day.
Peace.

That was my initial PC response. Even after I hit post, though, I felt like there was a bigger problem that needed to be addressed. I have no idea who this woman is or if she even exists. One person who responded to my appalled message I Tweeted shortly after reading it, asked, “Was it really her that posted that or was her account hacked? No self-respecting woman would post something like that.”

Perhaps, but something in my gut doubts it. So my (online) friend raised a very good question: What self-respecting woman would solicit sex so publicly and randomly? None, I gather. I know we spoke about how some women view their vagina as “sacred” the other day on “The Demise of Dating” post. This is clearly an example of someone that didn’t get the memo.

You know what; let me stop beating up this woman who commented. All she did was comment, I don’t want her or any of my other readers to feel like I don’t appreciate your thoughts and then I’ll turn around and attack you. Instead, I’ll just talk in general about the millions of others out there that are just like her.

Is this the reality that we now live in, where sex means so little? That giving up the goods is a mouse click away? I don’t want to believe that, but every time I turn on Maury Povich, Jerry Springer or whoever else cornered the market on the daytime television’s paternity test bonanza that people—both young and old—are doing too much. I for one would never sleep with a woman that just threw it away so easily. If you don’t even want it then why the hell should I? Just because you think sex makes your world go round doesn’t mean mine operates the same way.

Earlier this week I spoke on kids as young as 12-years old “sexting” each other nude pictures. Who’s to say it stops with the flicks? Chances are these kids are doing the nasty and whole lot more we don’t know about—drugs, gangs, take your pick. I just don’t get the mentality and where it’s coming from. We can blame the media, the music, the television, the parents or the price of tea in Beijing, but it won’t stop the problem.

I’m sorry, but I’m disturbed by the fact that a young woman feels it’s cool to hop on the Internet and offer up some of “that good sex” to any and everyone in eyeshot so she can “have sex with more than 5 times per day and that’s definatly (sic) millions of times per week how is that lol?” How’s that? “That” is bullshit. Get a job. Go to school. Read a book. Build something. Have a real fuckin’ conversation. Play with your coochie if you’re that hot and bothered. But don’t think that what’s between your legs is more important than what’s between your ears.

I don’t care if you’re male or female, young or old, Black, White, purple or blue, you should be able to offer some one more than just “good sex.” Any animal can fuck, but you are an individual with our own thoughts, goals, dreams and aspirations that are way more important and hold much more weight with real men/women. If all you have to offer is a piece of moist flesh then that’ll be the extent of your value. It all comes down to respect, if you don’t respect yourself; chances are no one else will. I have no idea if the woman that inspired this rant ever got the message, but I hope you did.

What’s your take on the young lady’s online solicitation? Did I overreact? Could you respect a man/woman that did something like that? Do you feel as if kids today are oversexed? Do people put too much value in their sexuality? What are your thoughts on teen promiscuity? Are the adults any better?

Speak your piece…

 

SAFE SEX BONUS
Have you been tested for an STD lately?

Go to www.STDTestExpress.com (Props to Tina)

cryface

  • Octavia

    NWSO your absolutely right to be appalled by the young lady’s coment but odds are she hasn’t met many men like you who have come at her like that. Instead ikm sure its been the opposite. Men telling her she gives good head or has good stuff so that’s where she found her value. Is it wrong yes, is it real yes.I think you were right to question and not attack her persay because coming from a woman she might take as “oh she’s just hating” but hearing it from a man is a little slap in the face of reality.

  • http://onlyoneblackdaria.blogspot.com black daria

    i think your gut is right…don’t think this was a hack. and even if it were a “prank”, self-worth is a major issue for women today, and there’s a sense by some women that the only way is through the coochie…and I just don’t know when that mentality evolved into such a revolution.

    a number of things run through my head when i read that, and i wonder if she’s black, white…she’s a girl lost. when i think about the songs that played on the radio in the 80s versus now, i can see why she’s advertising her goods…it’s just time for change, and not just on some Obama stuff…on some ME stuff. the more people become honest with themselves, they may seek what they need, and get the pleasure they really seek.

  • da ThRONe

    @NWSO

    Read her comment was a lil put off by it. Then I read your comment and thought you overracted a lil.

    I have know plenty females who would give up the goods at the drop of a hat. I have heard of sex clubs where such things take place. And Im like this to each there own.

    Because being in a sexual recession myself the thought of sexing every sexy female I see goes thur my mind all day. And if one of those females offer me her treasures at that very moment im not sure what i’ll do.

    Its hard for me to judge people especially ones I dont know. But the idea of people hooking up without ever knowing each other happens alot.

  • mzsmith

    I GIVE U MAD RESPECT FOR SAYING WHAT U SAID A LOT OF FEMALES THESE DAYS HAVE FORGOT THEIR WORTH. NOT ALL BUT JUST SOME. IM NOT SURE IF FEMALES THINK ITS CUTE OR FUNNY. BUT THEN U HAVE TO REMEMBER EVERYBDY DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME MORALS, AND IM NOT THE ONE TO JUDGE

  • Potato w/ Jive

    I dont know. Im on the side of this one comment being taken too seriously. I mean, for all we know this person was straight up joking. I mean the very wording suggests hyperbole. “million times a day?”

    While i agree with the general sentiment of what Naked was saying, I think we are all overreacting a bit.

  • Rasta74

    Referring to this blogger as a “young lady” is probably the nicest thing she’s ever been called. You didn’t overreact.I think your comments were too kind and your somewhat sympathetic approach may be perceived by her that you are feeding into her unsavory behavior because she just wants attentention. She needs to get a life. The best response to her message would have been NONE.

  • distinguishedgentlewoman

    I agree that some may be judging the young lady too harshly. I’m saddened by her requests. But you know what they say about not judging a man until you walk in his shoes? The world is made up of many different people. And there are young women being raised to believe that their sexuality is more important than the Bible, and that sex is all they have to offer a man. I personally know mothers who have raised their daughters with this belief: You’re pretty and men will want you because you’re pretty. So you might as well use it to get whatever you want from said men. For them real love has nothing to do with it. Education and self-respect are unimportant. Having a conversation and getting to know a man? Only if they lead to sex and her getting “gifts” in return.

    Having spent the first 8.75 years of my life in the Caribbean, I saw and heard a lot. I became aware of sex around me at a very young age, 3. I remember that as a little girl I wanted to be married so badly, because I knew that when I got married I would get a chance to “bugger” like the grown folks around me. But I grew out of that when I discovered books and ballet. My parents–especially my mother–instilled in us the importance of education and using our minds. Not everyone is that lucky.

  • ropa

    There are different kinds of people out there, the only way to tell is by judging… Yes she cud be a slag but thats her…im not like that and dont give two fucks wat she does wiv her life or who goes afta her. You cant advice someone on wats right or wrong because its different for everyone. Dont get me wrong, im not on her side and i personally think thats just degrading most women and pathetic. There are some sick people out thur and thankfully im not one of them. If shez a slag then let her sleep wiv any1 get God knows wat infection and give Doctors something to treat and another statistic. Its a cruel world, one man’s foolishness is one man’s gain.
    I think you blew it out of contest…over reacted a lil bit coz its a free world, the only thing that shud matter to you is you and wat you are all about…youv got your own rules and expectations and so has everyone… To prove one man’s fall is another man’s gain, she gave you something to write about…and honestly i dont think shez bothered!

  • distinguishedgentlewoman

    @ NWSO:

    What if it was a male who had posted that request? Would you have looked at it differently? Like, “This is some youngblood prankster trying to use my blog to get his mack on?”

  • LL

    You’d be surprised how many men and women come online to solicit sex from others, many are clever at how they go about it, but they do it anyway, and often under the guise of looking for a relationship.

  • Optical_Illusion

    When I read the post I just thought it was a kid playing around. I’m glad you responded because something had to be said to let the blogger know that the comment was off color and inappropriate.

    If the blogger was real (or serious), my heart goes out. Sometimes we act out sexually when we’ve been abused. We stop valuing ourselves and begin to feel like this is all you have to offer a relationship. This is deep to me, but I feel past this point in my life enough to share it, but there was a time in my youth when I thought that’s what I was for. I thought a man wouldn’t want me if my legs didn’t open and my mouth didn’t stay shut. I’m getting off into something else, but sexual, mental and physical abuse happens and people never want to talk about WHY a person is acting out. People just want to talk about HOW a person is acting out. That’s why I’m glad you said something.

    However, I know people don’t like to discuss religion, but the Bible talks about these things. The world is going to get ten times worse, before it gets better. Satan is running this earth and he wants to find every way possible to get people to disobey God before his time is up. His two biggest money makers, so to speak, are SEX and MONEY.

  • Simone

    When I read the post, i screwed my face up. My thoughts is that she is putting it out there. I don’t think it’s a joke, since she put her email address out there for a response to her post. Maybe she wanted some attention (shrugs shoulders). Some people just don’t care about their bodies or how they come off to other people. Some people just wanna get a quick fukk, and she thought that your blog was probably the best place to get it – who know’s what is on her agenda but it’s all on her. Even if you speak to her about it and advise her, i would suspect that her mind is already made and set. So, if some men wanna fall into that trap, then… hopefully she didn’t have a gift waiting for them.

    You already know that she is not the type of person that you would hook up with, so just leave her alone. As she is an adult she is responsible for her own decisions and her own outcomes. This may sound harsh coming from me but i have had people around me who had that same mind set and no matter the advise that i gave them – they still did whatever they were doing – i just took a step back and stopped trying to help people that didn’t want to hear it.

    Just my opinion.

  • http://markrileymedia.com mark riley

    Why oh why the double standard??? If a young man was talking about have sex five times a day he’d be seen as a stud by his peers. Assuming this girl is for real, she’s the poster child for young black women? NAH!!! There are too many young ladies who conduct themselves with dignity and class every day of their lives. What, do they have to post to be recognized?

  • distinguishedgentlewoman

    Also, abuse can be very trying on a person’s psyche. I know people who have been so physically and emotionally scarred that they begin to have no self worth. Now they think that the only thing they’re good enough for is having sex and being sexual. One of my former coworkers had a foster child who was sexually abused. After my coworker brought her home, she would approach any man that came in close proximity of her and stare at his crotch until he walked away. Do you know how sad that is? She was just a little girl. I sincerely hope she has gotten the help she so desperately needs. Because I hate to think what kind of woman she will grow up to be if she is not given help.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Distinguished & Mark

    In regards to my reaction had this commenter been a male: Actually, I would have been disturbed just the sam. Admittedly maybe not to the same extreme, but the belief that sex is all you have to offer would have rubbed me teh wrong way regardless.

    I recall one time I came across a MySpace page where a dude had some chest-baring shot or something like that. His page was private and his message on his page was “Hit me up to get dick pics (girls only) I gotta a big dick..” Or something like that. I was like, wow, really?

    1) Who gives a shit? 2) Is that your greatest contribution to the world, your dick? 3) Do any respectful chicks respond to that? 3) Why the hell do you want your member floating around the Net like that to random chicks, what are they supposed to do with it? I just don’t get the whole dick pic thing that some dudes due.

    At any rate, I was equally disturbed that this brother was limiting himself to be nothing more than a moist piece of flesh.

    SMH

  • *M*

    I couldnt respect anyone that is willing to give up anything that easily……..if you give it up to me that fast how many other people did you give up to that easily. Especially where I live at AIDs is on the rise and its and epidemic so why would you just put yourself out there like that. My life is much more worth than losing over sex. Sex is definetly overrated. I also dont think you over reacted I could just see that a person like this would just get under your skin. I mean it would get under mine as well

  • http://www.mstrecie.com MsTrecie

    I get tested for STD’s every 6 months….not because I sleep with new guys all the time but because I like to know my status and because things lie dorment for a while. I can’t ‘down’ the girl over her comment, because that is how some people view sex….as a ‘come all, leave happy’ type situation. I admit, I love sex as much as the next person and would prefer to have it multiple times a day; however, if I don’t care about who I am with and what they are doing….why should they treat me any better than p*ssy on the side.

    Previously, you had a post about how hooking up is becoming a thing of the norm, and that is all well and good, but when do we get fed up with the rates of HIV/AIDS going up instead of going down. This type of ignorant disregard for the worth of life and love is more of a pandemic than the actual diseases themselves. Women are not holding themselves to the worth that their grandmothers or mothers (in some cases) had/have over their body, and a majority of men don’t set their standards high enough to see past that.

    It saddens me to think that this is the generation my child is in, where a girl will blatantly disrespect herself by advertising her sexual desires…I can only hope that she is reading these comments and rethinking her stance on life and sex. The biggest misconception is that you can tell when someone has an STD…you can’t! Just because there are not visible symptoms of an outbreak doesn’t mean that he/she doesn’t have herpes or genital warts!

    The first step to overcoming this sad state that we are in , is to become educated and to educate those around us!

    -Ms.Trecie

  • j

    I wonder how offering yourself on the internet to strangers is any different from offering yourself at a club to strangers? yes, the club is more subtle– but society seems to think “one-night” stands are okay. folks laugh and joke about them, and they are not considered slutty for doing so. how is this girl any different from the girl standing at the bar, giving some dude the “come hither-take me home tonightr” eye?

    If you ask me…it’s no different. Of course, I’ve never had a one-night stand and don’t agree w/ them either, so my perspective may be skewed. It just seems like the same basic idea to me.

  • Naphtalia

    I’m sad to hear that a woman is this broken. I do understand that there are people out there who feel as she does, but it doesn’t make it right, acceptable, or appropriate. We should discourage it.

    I don’t think you overreacted. Even if this was a prank, the condition and state of YOUR heart and mind is what is what stood out to me. The fact that you reacted at all says a lot about your character. Some people read (or see) things like this and scoff, chalk it up to “well that’s the way it is nowdays” and keep moving. You took a proactive stand and at least SAID something. Kudos.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @J

    I think the general difference would be at least it’s one specific person(s) you’ve actually seen and made the decision to select. The other is a basic advertisement like hey come one, come all. I see what you’re saying, but at least there’s a “hey, he’s cute” factor in the bar scenario. In the posting one, it’s the i’ll take whatever scenario.

  • http://www.mamasgotmoxie.com mama’s got moxie

    i don’t think that you overreacted at all. in fact, she needed someone to check her on her behavior and has probably never had anyone to do so before. and i could care less if it was a man or a woman. to stoop to whoring yourself out online is just sick and it shows that there’s something obviously missing in that person’s life. as sad as it is, it’s not that difficult to believe. i remember comedienne mo’nique mentioning a website on her show called onlinebootycall.com that was built for the sole purpose of people hooking up for one night stands. they’ve even drawn up their very own “booty call commandments” which states there should be no cuddling, no pillow talk, no kissing in the mouth… and what’s worse is the site claims to have “millions of members.” i mean, really, is this what our society has come to? no self-love, no self-worth and no self-respect.

  • http://mrspringer.wordpress.com Anthony

    So many ways to approach this one. But to be honest, not all women are looking for a relationship. I think we run the risk of stereotyping women as damaged if they just want a fling with no strings attached–but we don’t do the same for men.

    To put it simply, SOME women are lost and some know exactly what they want and how to get it.

  • randomgirl

    This “young black lady” could very well be an old white man.
    Its ok to be appalled but come on, this was probably just a silly joke/call for attention.
    Worst case scenario this person was putting it out there. Ok and? Have you been to craigslist , myspace, blackplanet? This happens all the time. People holla at me even on twitter so it is not that shocking. I am not condoning it, but I feel like you shouldn’t pay this random person any mind.
    Peace.

  • http://www.cdtbk.com/site Dominque

    Sex has become a past time, a reflection of boredom, a symbol of insecurity and a way to make people feel worthy. I pardon myself from this conversation when I say, “It’s reality, though.”

    I think we somehow need to reinvest in the quality of mankind and human nature. We need to start LOVING again and really MANIFEST what it means to love. Too many people don’t know what love is, how it feels nor how it should look, taste or how to handle it. Women need men to be examples men need the same thing.

    We have to TEACH each other. Start at home and with your friends.

    Peace.

  • All eYeZ

    This post is so on point, you did not over react at all. There is a problem!!!!!! Girls are going to want attention from boys, we want to be wanted… that hasn’t changed since the beginning of time… what has changed is what girls will do to get that attention. As time progresses it seems like you have to do more and more to get the attention
    @ mark… I agree, there are lots of nice girls reading this blog but have they gotten a shout out? I haven’t been reading the blog that long but just as an example there was a post about pretty girls being wack in the sack, now here we have an entire post about this girl advertising her goods for the world… where is the article about the nice hardworking women… (@NWSO…don’t take offense I am enjoying, also there may be post about this that are dated before my tuning in, I’m just saying) so here we go, giving this young woman the attention she craves.
    @octavia I too am glad NWSO has taken on the challenge of addressing this issue because when women try to advise or comment on other women’s behavior we are seen as haters. I can’t think of how many times I’ve seen a young lady on facebook saying something crazy, or posting crazy pictures…. I don’t say anything because without a doubt it will be taken as hating… so I just smh and if it gets 2 crazy on the news feed I delete them off my friend list to avoid having to cringe at every new album/status update….
    anyway… I think its high time ladies reclaimed some CLASS it might make men shape up in their approach… Even if she is grown and wants to get it how she gets it, she still has a problem! She is selling herself FAR below retail price, I mean clearly she has no self worth.
    There’s nothing wrong with sex, but there is a problem when we devalue and reduce ourselves to a few typed words on an internet blog to get it…
    anyway I could probably go on for pages on this topic…but I will spare those reading on their cell phones lol… GREAT TOPIC NWSO….

  • BK

    Boo, the very essence of this topic is that its a double standard. People solicit sex in MANY many ways. I find it amusing that it struck such a nerve with you, Naked. And im surprised everyone commenting is so quick to judge.

  • Elle

    I’ve read worse. Some men and women these days feel the need to advertise their sexuality online because it is so easy. While they may not approach random strangers on the street in such a manner, having an online profile on of “these” sites allows them to drop the little final barriers they still may have. Same applies to chats and what not. Typing out of the world ish is just so much easier than saying to another person’s face.

    Do I find it appalling? Yep. Do I carry myself in such manner? Nope.
    Yet and still I am not surprised. This is the year 2009. There are websites for one night stands, for cheaters, for housewives who want to make a little money on the side by prostituding themselves, so called “flirt sites” where it’s really about hooking up rather than flirting and so on.
    Who am I to judge?

  • Lynsey

    Ok. I feel you on your response to this woman. Today, women do not have respect for themselves and it’s disgusting. Not all woman are like this but the higher majority are. I was raised with old school values and morals and I never put myself out there like that. The most important thing to me is class, and without class and pose you won’t make it in this world. I literally know 3 woman that have Herpes and they still will go out and sleep with men without protection, and knowingly give Herpes to them. They have the perception: ” Well if a man burns me, I’m going to burn every man I come in contact with.” It’s sick and disturbing to me, but most of all it’s terrifying. Do men that have STD’s do the same to women…most likely. So, personally I have been celibate for a long time and will continue to do so until I am in a very serious relationship. I’m too scared to go out there and have sex today. Today, pregnancy is the least of your worries. I’m more fearful of getting a STD or AID’s, I don’t want to die. I just read a study that said 1 out 4 people have Herpes and that’s a risk I’m not going to take for 10 minutes of pleasure. Most women do not have morals these days and it’s scarey because if they don’t have morals, than if they have children they will not have morals and the viscious cycle continues. So…it will never end, therefore we have to take responsibility for ourselves and be extremely careful. Most importantly though, we have to try to help these women/men and educate them and try to restore these values and morals or we will parish as a whole.

  • da ThRONe

    People its not that big of a deal at all. If she like to get her groove on who are we to judge? If that how she get her kicks “So What”?

    Maybe she was serious maybe it was a joke? Doesnt change my opinion of her one bit. We can really look nice on our high horses sometimes. I know I have done some questionable things in my 28 years enough not to go around judging people. I applaude Ans for trying to educate her on the fly like that ,but have we ever thought maybe she doesnt need education she need some wood?

    We all do things everyday that put our lives in jeopardy why is sex the worst way? How is sexing stranger any different than driving and texting at the same time?

    Everybody has this mindset if you have sex somehow you dont like yourself. There are no garentee you ride this thing to the wheels come off and if thats what for her so be it.

    Besides she might be as safe as possible everytime she gets down.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Da THrone

    Inviting a stranger into your body isn’t safe. Could be a killer, rapist, thief, or even a Republican. LOL

    You’re right, I, nor anybody else, has a right to judge this person or anyone else. But still doesn’t help the fact that there is a problem out there and people devaluing sex and themselves. Regardless of what that young lady does with HER life, I thank her for sparking this conversation. Hopefully, she doesn’t become a statistic.

    And if a woman wants wood, she can get any time she wants from someone in her circle. That’s be a million times safer (well, maybe not based on STD rates) than going to a stranger off the Internet.

    And don’t think people are saying sex means you don’t like yourself, it’s about what I perceived—right or wrong—to be someone seeing sex as their greatest gift.

  • AllInTheGame

    I know this makes me a dork but…

    “Implore” homie, not “deplore.”

    I’m here to help!

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @AllIntheGame

    Thanx, see above. lol

  • litabia

    I read the comment and this is my personal opinion but yes I do think that you (NWSO) overreacted a bit. I read it as a female that is sex deprived and when I go without sex for a great amount of time I say and do things that are out there. That doesn’t mean I’m going to act on it, it just means I’m loopy for the moment. I doubt it even if she got some replies that she met up with a person and got it on 5 times a day.

    I don’t think you would’ve made as big of a deal or even a post about it had it been a male doing the same thing. You probably would’ve read it and shook your head in disbelief. If you think what she did was shocking than you don’t browse the want ads on craigslist (yea I know I need a life) now that’s some alarming shit right there.

  • k-Love

    I actually had to send a link to this post to some of my girlfriends who still rely on the mighty twat to get ahead or get anywhere for that matter. Then they wonder why I can always find a good man, and they get the backwash. What you put out is what you get. I don’t think you made a big deal, i think you brought awareness. I am now aware that some women still don’t have a clue and wonder why things are they way they are. To many times the ladies are throwning it away to GOD knows who all for validation that they got that good. Who cares what else is there to you? The anticipation of the twat will always get you further than just giving it up every will. Leave a little mystery to yourself, let the men use their imagination, make them work for it. It’s said really. There is some one for everyone, random coochie/penis drawings are not a good idea.

  • k-Love

    excuse the grammatical errors, at work and had to get that out here really quick..but you all should get what I am saying.

  • k-Love

    And those complaining about double standards, to me this goes for men and women. Everyone needs to take a look a the man in the mirror. soliciting sex is just wrong. its bad enough as it is. But we are used to it. However when some one just comes out in a blog response offering the goods, she needs a life or hobby or something, there are either esteem issues or just issues in general. Who knows what kind of people read this stuff ( no offense NWSO). We as a nation need to stop sugar coating shytt, in the end it is still shytt, just a little sweeter.

  • http://mrspringer.wordpress.com Anthony

    ^^^
    It all depends on what you want out of life. I don’t think its wise (at least in MOST circles) to offer up sex first and expect a commitment–but there are some relationships built around mutual desires. If the end game is just sex, be satisfied after you get some.

    If the end game is a relationship, the methods need to be tweaked.

    But I agree. People do need to look at the man/woman in the mirror and figure out what they REALLY want.

    And I disagree that soliciting sex is wrong.

  • The Intellect

    @distinguishedgentlewoman

    I agree with you. I think that no man or woman for that matter should be given a free pass anymore. Self-respect is something that is a serious issue with both men and women. But when it comes to a woman it’s a real problem, but when a man brags about having sex everday or the size of his penis this is deemed as the norm.

    @ NWSO
    I don’t think you overracted, but the double standard has to stop if we are all going to learn how to love and respect ourselves and each other. I am in college and the number of people just throwing it away is appalling. However, the ratio between men and women “throwing it out ” is about the same in my opinion. But when it comes to the ladies they are labeled as hoes/sluts/or not having self-respect while the men are labeled as desirable/playas/and confident. I just don’t get it and that’s why I stay in the library now. Maybe you all could help this confused sista out?

  • da ThRONe

    @k-love

    I dont work for sex sex comes easy. I work for companionship and love!

    I dont know why some females see there sex as an end to a means weither your giving it out or not. Pussy should not be a trap it should be something that brings pleasure and offsprings.

    Ladies the idea that some how what you have has more vaule then what a man has is a double standard in itself. I wish fellas would tighting up and have some will power so some women can understand its not all about them.

  • http://thisismethen-kt.blogspot.com/ kimkim