Would You Date Yourself?

Posted by NWSO • April 3, 2009 • Printer-friendly

I was talking to a good friend the other day and she told me about her latest date—with herself. It consisted of dinner at a decent restaurant capped off with a movie. I looked at her like she was crazy: "You went to the movies by yourself?"

"Yes, I did," she replied. "What's wrong with that?"

"I don't know, the whole idea of going to movies by yourself seems kinda lame to me… No offense of course."

"None taken, sweetie. I'm secure in who I am and if I want to see a movie and no one else wants to go; what am I supposed to do wait around for someone to go with me or catch it on HBO? Please! I'm too grown for all that."

"Okay, I hear you on that, at least at the movies you're in the dark, but sitting at a table by yourself is totally different.”

“How so?”

“People are probably staring at you the whole time you're waiting for your food wondering why you’re alone. Besides, you have no one to talk to. Shoot, I hate when a date is late and I gotta sit by myself for too long in a restaurant. I feel like it makes you look like a loser and all eyes are on you."

"Why are you worried about what other people are thinking? They should mind their business and eat their food instead of worrying about where my date is and what I'm eating. Besides, I always carry a good book or magazine with me to keep my mind occupied. You should try it."

"That's alright. I'll pass but I definitely commend you on doing that. More power to you."

"Don't knock it until you try it, Ans. It's very liberating and it's a great way to meet guys. I can't tell you how many times a guy steps away from his boys to strike up a conversation with me because I was sitting by myself."

"I can see that. Women are easier to approach when they're by themselves as opposed to when y’all are in a group. I wonder if that'd work for a guy dining solo."

"Hey, you never know, it just might."

“Hmmm.”

How do you guys/gals feel about going to the movies by yourself? Does it make you feel lame or like people are looking at you with pity? Would you go out to a posh restaurant and eat by yourself? Does it make a difference if you eat at a fast food restaurant or lowbrow restaurant by yourself as opposed to a well-known eatery? If you saw someone of the opposite sex that you thought was attractive eating by themselves, would you be more inclined to approach them? Do you appreciate time alone just as much as you do with other people? Would you date yourself?

Speak your piece...

Tagged as: date, Dinner alone, going to movies alone, independent

EmotionalFunk

I do it sometimes not Dinner though usually breakfast or lunch I'll go out for and movies. No big deal I do it every now and again.
http://onlyoneblackdaria.blogspot.com black daria

I've done it and I love it! Still do it!
da ThRONe

I would never hang out by myself. I dont give a damn about what other people might think its just boring as hell. Why would I go out and spend money to bond with a Harry Potter book? I already pointed out once that I talk "mad shit" at the movies' so It defeats the purpose to roll solo. I spend plenty time by myself. More power to anybody who does.

But I do have sex by myself all the time!LOL Im so easy! LMAO

Eatting out at fancy places in our culture is something that is designed for 2 or more people. Once again I would be bored out of my mind if I went to "Che Whiteys" (from In Living Color) got dress up just to read a book not my thing at all

I dont approach females period.
http://ifuxwitit.blogspot.com Janee TMB

Yep, I take myself on a date at least once a week or bi-weekly. Usually consists of dinner, sometimes consists of shopping or a movie. I treat myself very well! If I've been good I'll go to a bar where a friend works and have a drink as well. Nothing like alone time to get my mind right.

The thing about movies is I'm super picky about the company anyway, I hate when folks want to whisper to me during the movie or ask a bunch of questions and I also can't stand when they want to pick it apart analyzing after. I like to just let the art soak in and enjoy it!
http://shesgottahaveit.onsugar.com/ Jennifer

I've been wanting to give the whole 'dating myself' thing a shot, but I can't seem to bring myself to drive to the movies, buy one ticket, and go sit alone for two hours. People are usually paired up or in groups at the movies, so I'd feel out of place. I don't know why I'm so concerned, though. We're all in the dark.

I can, however, dine alone and do it from time to time. I wouldn't go to a bar alone, but if I'm hungry I can pop into an eatery and have my meal solo, with my phone or a book to keep my eyes from wandering. I agree with your friend in saying that you're easier to approach when you're solo, rather than with a group of friends (or a date, obviously).
Soulyn

Yes. I love going to the movies solo. I call it me time. A perfect date with myself is, a holiday, or day off, not a weekend, I figure out all the movies I wanna see and spend the day at the movies (with my favorite treats of course). I love spending time with me. If I wouldn't date myself, why would anyone else?

I really appreciate time alone. It allows me to "recharge my battery".

Now going to a restaurant alone is something I have yet to try.
Neska

This is really interesting, i have no problem eating by myself and guys are more likely to strike up a conversation, but goin to the movies alone?! I'm the one that asks whoever I'm with a question here or there, so what do i do talk to maself? I get the whole me time, so i'll give it a shot
July

I tried it ONCE and I hated it so very much. When I went to get a ticket for the movies and asked for one ticket the lady looked at me with shock first then her eyes welled up with pity and she proceeded to ask me whether I am new in town and all other kinds of personal questions that were just none of her damn business. When I walked out of the movie people were doing double takes in surprise that I was by myself. Next I took myself out for a lil bite to eat and the first thing the waiter says is how many people are joining you, now thats a relatively simple question but coz of what had just happened at the movie house I was a lil sensitive and took great offence to the question. Sitting there waiting for the food to come felt like I was waiting on the messiah himself and maybe I was paranoid but people were looking at me funny, I think I saw a little girl laugh and point. Never again I tell you...:-)
Elle

I have never went to the movies by myself. I am not sure what it is but that's the last frontier I am not yet ready to conquer. However, eating out by myself is something I absolutely enjoy. Maybe because I have serious loner tendencies. Some things are just more fun when I am doing them by myself: like shopping, going sightseeing, hanging out at the beach. For example, I love love love going on a short city trip by myself because I see things in a different light and really take in the experience. Walking through the streets of London, Paris or Barcelona by yourself is something everyone should do at one point in life.
distinguishedgentlewoman

@ Elle:

I so agree, there's something to be said for enjoying some alone time with the beauty of London and Paris as your backdrop--I have yet to experience Barcelona. You do see the cities in a totally different light.

@ NWSO:

How do you guys/gals feel about going to the movies by yourself?

Do it all the time, in the daytime. Wouldn't do it at night. Don't care for crowds.

Does it make you feel lame or like people are looking at you with pity?

Nope, don't care what people think.

Would you go out to a posh restaurant and eat by yourself?

Only if it's lunch or breakfast. I would feel weird dining alone at night.

Does it make a difference if you eat at a fast food restaurant or lowbrow restaurant by yourself as opposed to a well-known eatery?

I would grab a quick bite alone at a fast-food joint or well-known eatery if they were not too crowded (again, don't like crowds).

If you saw someone of the opposite sex that you thought was attractive eating by themselves, would you be more inclined to approach them?

I never approach men in public, I just admire from a distance.

Do you appreciate time alone just as much as you do with other people?

I love my "me" time.

Would you date yourself?

I love my alone time, but how boring it would be to date myself. No variety, no engaging conversations sharing differences of opinions, no exploring and experiencing anything outside of my little piece of the world? YAWN!
Dionne

I go to the movies all the time by myself. I also go to lunch by myself, too. Now dinner and other things at night is another story. If I want to do something new and no one wants to join me, I'm not going to sit and mope around, I'm going to go out there and do it. Please, I explore this whole city by myself and find new things all the time. Sure, there are times I wish that someone could join me, that's just be being human. But if I can't enjoy my own company and do the things I love, why would anyone else want to join me?
TK

I WILL NOT go to dinner or a movie by myself. For the same reasons Ans stated in this blog. When I see people out by themselves they look soooo lonely at dinner with no one to talk to. And at the movies OMG even worst because you have no one to talk to the movie about. Wouldn't do it at ALL!!!
YoungJay

I confronted this issue just last weekend!! Flaky date canceled the movie on me last minute and I ended up going alone. It actually wasnt that bad. Because I was sitting alone women seemed to feel more comfortable approaching me....and I dont know no man who doesn't find it flattering to be approached by a woman. Maybe one of these days ill try the whole meal thing alone too....
Carolinaheart

I love to eat! So, whether it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner I don't mind dining alone. Sometimes I prefer it. Especially dinner! I just sit back with a glass of wine and savor every bite of my meal.

As others have stated you do get alot of stares. But I sort of like the nonverbal attention. Does it make me feel like a loser? Not at all! I know that it only takes a phone call to have someone join me. But I have chosen to dine alone.

Being able to stand alone in a crowd is a nonverbal way of exuding confidence and independence. Embrace, enjoy, and love the company of you!
Sunny Dee

I go to dinner by myself all the time, movies, bars, wherever I want to go I take myself. I don't really see it as dating myself (I don't buy myself chocolates and flowers and try to kiss myself goodnight) but I do see it as an opportunity to spend quality time with myself or sometimes try something new. It's very satisfying and I do it in the city now more than ever. For me it's a mood thing. Wanting to be alone doesn't always mean wanting to stay in the house or in seclusion. It's funny though because last week I was at dinner with myself and this man stopped by my table and asked me if I was eating alone (to me that's pretty bold- but it happens often) and when I affirmed that I was he said "I could never do that!". I think that's a piece of what I like about it, a lot of people have a fear of being alone, I just don't.
moonstarz

When you don't want to be bothered, going to a movie alone is therapeutic.

I used to go out to dinner alone quite often when I was a teen. When I was 16-17 a lot of people didn't really have 30 hr a week job so the cash wasn't flowing for everyone so I would just go alone and like someone else mentioned, bring a book or magazine.

I still do go out to eat alone sometimes because when you are linked to everyone you know, (and don't know) through social networking sites, emails, texts (Blackberry addict here) you have to slip in complete solo time. I need it for my sanity.
DAVIDA

i go to the movies by myself all of the time. Dont mind it one bit.
anon

I dont mind going to the movies alone. Sometimes it's a pain waiting for your friends or to free up their schedule. If it's something really good that I want to see I dont have a problem taking in a Matinee, I have never gone at night, but I have gone in the day time and left at night, I pay people no mind on the regular.

My last bday this past November, I went out to a bar by myself! I'm still kind of new to my area, all my friends are in another state. I refused to stay home and not do anything. So I went to a new bar I heard about and I had drink and an appetizer. It was fairly dark and people were having their own fun, no stares.

I can say while I was there about an hour and a half later, a new acquaintance stopped by to have a drink with me, but it wasn't planned, they called and was like what are you doing? Oh really, ok I will meet you over there.

I think everyone should try to spend sometime *out* by themselves. You just may wind up missing out on a lot of good things, waiting for someone anyone to go with you!!

One day I know I will travel by myself, because thats how I do..... I will not be waiting for anyone to decide they want to join me when I'm ready to go!

msdailey
Carolinaheart

@ Lady Soul

My huband is in the military as well so I know exactly what your talking about.
ladyaj

I have eaten alone on several occasions. I usually use it as "me" time and enjoy a good book, newspaper or magazine I usually don't have time for. I've gotten a few stares, but nothing I couldn't handle...didn't make me feel uncomfortable or like a loner/loser!

Now going to the movies is something I haven't done alone, but after reading several comments I believe it's something I'm gonna try. There is a movie out now that I wanna see but those that I've told about it aren't really interested. So, looks like I'm gonna make a date w/myself! lol...
K-Love

I always go to the movies alone. Most of the time I want to see something no one else would be caught dead watching, sonit's DOLO. I love spending time with myself, it's the ultimate gift "me time". And how many time do you go to the movies and wish you went alone. i buy what snacks i want not worrying about prices, and if i want to make it a double header, who is there to complain? No one. And i tend to hit up the local applebee's alone, hey my man lives in NY and I refuse to let my life pass me by. It shows how confident I am to be able to say "table for one and a glass of chardonay please." And then I go home tell my man about my night and how many dudes tried to play their hand, kiss my son good night and get a good nights rest. The next day is usually mother/son day. But everyone should try it at least once a month, you would really get to know who you are even more than you already do.
K-Love

Went to see last house on the left by myself, that was dumb of me, cause I was scared as hell driving home alone down my dark country roads, and guess what...my home was the "Last house on the left." FREAKY
Lady Soul

I go to dinner alone alot. My husband is in the military and is gone a lot. He's been overseas twice and now works as a drill sgt and is home hardly ever. Going to dinner or the movies by myself frees my mind of all the monotony that sometimes life can bring. It pulls something different in the mix.

I dont do it to meet men obviously, but the change in atmosphere helps me get things done. Especially if I bring something to read or some work to do... or even a journal.

I love it... you should definitely try it NWSO. (playing devils advocate here)...Because you wont, does that mean you're insecure about being seen alone? Why is it really a big deal in this society that if your seen alone in places where "couples" usually go that your desperate and alone and there's no hope for you?

Sometimes seeing other people do things gives us the strength to do them ourselves
K-Love

and why are individuals the dance to the beat of their own drum considered to be loners or losers. I love me more than anyone but GOD, so if i can't stand to do things that i love alone what does that say about me. Who cares what anyone else thinks or says, I guarantee that deep down they wish they had the guts to be who they really are. Its best to be a first rate version of yourself than a secon rate version of someone else. Time waits for no man or woman, seize the day, it may be your last. Do what makes you happy, and don't be afraid to be looked upon. By sitting alone, you have given a group of people who otherwise have nothing to talk about something to talk about. And that's you so feel proud let them speculate, let them laugh and grin, they only see the service, they have no idea who you really are.
D

Definitely! I date myself often....movies, breakfast, lunch, dinner, shopping doesn't matter. I typically don't care what other people think so people staring or watching me eat by myself doesn't bother me...obviously I'm more interesting then their date since all the focus is on me lol. I don't do the whole reading a book/magazine thing tho, just sit and think.
The Intellect

As a young single woman, sometimes you need to take that risk and go out on your own. For me it's no big deal to go to dinner or the movies by myself. I actually prefer it, especially after a long hectic week of school you need that down time. I call those times my "single lady dates" because sometimes when you have no one to treat you, you need to treat yourself.

Case in point, I recently took myself on a date to see Ms. E. Badu in concert. None of my friends wanted to go, so I went by myself and ended up getting front row center tickets because I didn't have to buy in a group. Needless to say I was the youngest person on my row and all the people around me marveled at how mature and brave I was for going to a concert all by myself. I simply told them, that I was not going to miss out on a good show because my friends don't know good music.

But for the most part, I find this topic to be really funny, because isn't the whole point of being single and young about discovering yourself? If I can't make it on my own and know how to treat myself right how will my eventual king know to treat me his queen?
Mami

I am recently single again due to divorce. To date yourself is so liberating. I went on my first alone this pass June. I took myself to a nice restaurant and the first thing the waitress ask if I was waiting on a another person. I smile and then said "no" so gently. I told her about dating me for a change and celebrating freedom from an emotional abusive marriage. She gave me a big smile and said you are my shero. That made me feel so good. Why are waiting on another person to eat dinner or see a movie? Then end up missing out on both because the person gave some type of lame excuse. So yes I also do the movie thing, clubing etc. alone and learn how to embrace my new single life style. I am not sure if I would ask another person eating alone to join me. I believe if he was interested then he would do the asking. My standards are men love to chase. Yes I would never stop dating me, even if I get into a relationship. This have been the most emotional healthy medicine a girl can swallow. The comment of concerns of what people think:
I can care a hell a la hoop of what folks think, because I take care of me. My happness comes first and I learn a long time ago of stopping being a people pleaser. This is such a great topic!!! So Ladies/Gents start dating alone believe me it will set you free......
Nonsi

mama taught me to be independent. not in a foolish manner but in good spirit. i learnt from an early age to have me time... from reading books to going to the park when i was older to going shopping by myself.
friends think i am weird to go to movies, concerts and a holidays alone but i love my own space. i fell it's time to rejuvenate ones' mind and spirit. we get so lost in other peoples' expectations of us, lose our identity though not intentionally and so me-time is one of those things you need to do, to become whole again
Tee

i take myself out often. i have a husband and a kid and sometimes u just need a break -- from being mommy or being a wife and celebrate the U in you. i've done the movies alone, even before i got married. and i especially like going to the bookstore alone. in the summer, it's nice to just break out the bike and ride around prospect park and clear my head. this is the way i take care of my mental health, cause if i don't who else is gonna do it?
keke

I really don't see anything wrong with going to the movies by yourself. i have done it before, I have eaten lunch and breakfast by myself, not dinner though. But i don't think there is anything wrong with it.

I don't understand why there is such a stigma attached to ppl who are alone; how do you know that the person is lonely, that person may just want to be ALONE.

I have a great set of friends, but we don't always want to see or do the same things, so sometimes its cool to just experience things alone. You can meet some great ppl that way; i have in the past and continue to do so.
da ThRONe

This seems to be a Female thing "dating yourself". I think this kinda shows female relate feeling good to "wining and dining". I go out for the company not the food I can cook myself. As far as the movies that makes more since for most people who dont find the dumbest things funny(ME) because your being entertained by the movie. But as far as dinner ,clubbing ,or anything like that IMO its all about bonding with my company. Certain things just arent as fun solo

Things better with other people
*sex(unless she a bad lay)
*see-saw
*clubbing
*dining out
*sex(but I barely remember how it feels)
*sporting events
*birthday partys(especially if its your)
*road trips
*vacation(unless its with your family)
*hide-in-go-seek(this really sucks solo)
*sex
*boardgames/card games
*s
*e
*x

Ps did I mention sex?
Optical_Illusion

I date myself all the time. Whether it's my weekly routine of a medicure/pedicure, or an afternoon movie if I get off early, or a drink and appetizer at the bar after a class or meeting. I definitely cherish time with myself. I learned long ago that I probably wouldn't be up to anything if I waited around for company.

Now, I've never gone to see a show or to a club or somewhere similiar, alone. I think that might be a little embarrasing.....
Optical_Illusion

Plus, too, you meet people when you're out alone. It's usually women, but I seem to always run into people that like to strike up a good conversation.
The Intellect

@ da throne

I can se where your list is going, and yes I saw that you did mention sex a "few" times LOL. But I don't think "dating yourself" is a strictly female thing to be associated with the need to be wined and dined. I think that "dating yourself" is a spiritual thing that all people can partake in.

From reading the comments of the women who have admitted to this practice, it seems that we (IMO) do it because we want to feel relief from stress or to get a sense of clarity. In only limitiing "dating yourself" as a females thing only I think you are missing the mark of the male date. I mean don't you guys go off in your own world when you play video games, go to the golfing range or anything else that you guys do solo? And don't you feel as a male you just need to do you for a minute?
Litabia

@ da thone

I think we get that you need to have some sex and soon!!! LOL!

Yes, I do go to the movies by myself only during the day. And like someone said in a previous post I would only eat breakfast or lunch alone. However, dinner is different. But I definitely don't see the big deal and if I don't have anyone to accompany me then I go alone.
arlene

and i do the by myself thing. no biggie. i can give a hot damn what someone thinks about it. it allows me to see certain places, movies that others might not be interested in. damn if im not going to see the latest chic flick cause my girls aint around and i don't wanna subject my man to the torture.

will you guys go to a sporting event by yourself if you got a free ticket or REALLY wanted to be there?
BK

Yea i dont see the big deal in going to the movies alone. I wouldnt do a fancy dinner alone but i've done regular dinner by myself. I dont feel lame. Fact, sometimes i NEED that time to think, to reflect or just straight up be quiet.

It can get just as stressful to have to be "on" all the time. Sometimes i dont want to be all charming or clever or entertaining. Anyone else feel me on that?
Elle

LoL@Throne's urge showing

I don't think it's a female thing and am in total agreement with The Intellect. Men do other things solo such as playing video games, playing sports and the like.

Personally, and I believe I am speaking for the other ladies as well, it has nothing to do with the need for wining and dining. It is simply about winding down from a long day and not wanting to sit on my couch. So I go outside and do something in the "company of strangers". It could be a Yoga class, a restaurant or a cup of coffee at my local Starbucks. For me it's about being among other human beings. On some nights, it is not even that. Sometimes I just want to be completely alone on my couch, with ice cream and chick flicks. Love those nights! But when I want "me time" in the company of others, I go out by myself and get lost in my thoughts or in watching the world go by. Soooo relaxing!

PS: Oh and you're one of these folks that talk at the movies huh?!?!? I HATE THAT!!!
older&wiser

Yes I go the movies, dinner, and even vacation by myself! It is very liberating to be able to have fun alone. I enjoy the alone time and when I want company I meet people out and about both male and female. I sometimes get hit on by married men who are drawn to my confidence about being out solo, I always turn them down but the flattery does give me a buzz .

I'm still waiting for that single man to have the courage to come up to me when I am out and about and alone. Single men, have you seen me, why didn't you holla at me? I am pretty good at discerning "available" men and I haven't run into any that I could approach when I am out alone.

P.S.
When I do go out, I don't go with other women b/c I know men are less likely to approach me in a group of women.
YoungJay

@ arlene ...

You brought up a good point about us going to sporting events alone....If I had a chance to go to a Knicks game when Jordan was playing and no one else wanted to go i woulda been there...I think most of the guys are confused because the situations presented are things we associate with courting...so the rationale is "If im not courting, why would i be there".
Hope2Star

HAHAHA at Da Throne! You are buggin'

@NWSO

I don't eat in fancy resturants or go to the movies alone. Most of the fun for me is enjoying good food or a good movie with other people. And if they suck you and your buddy or boyfriend have one of those "Remember when went went to that awful movie..." stories. I love being alone as much as being with people. I do go see plays (on and off bway) alone. That's my "me time". I would only approach a cute guy flying solo if he didn't seem like he was in his "me time zone" ;0)
EmotionalFunk

That a great point K-Love said

"and why are individuals the dance to the beat of their own drum considered to be loners or losers. I love me more than anyone but GOD, so if i can’t stand to do things that i love alone what does that say about me"

There nothing wrong with that why waiting on others to do things that you enjoy? Like I love plays but none of my friends are feeling that or really not wanting to pay $$ for a tickets and I don't want to pay for company ya know. So I go its not like its going to be on DVD and it is my thing.

You know I can't even call it dating myself its just doing you. There are just too many labels and stigmas put on being solo at times WHY?

@Latabia

That's me who doesn't do Dinner. I just prefer going to breakfast and Lunch single and groups. IDK lol but that's just the thing I do -lunch.
Nicki

Its funny you wrote about this topic. I was just giving this advice to someone. To me when a lady is free and independent she should not have to wait for others to go out with her. As a matter of that may be the plan for me for tomorrow. Dating your self can be very nice!
Ms P

I have always enjoyed going to the movies by myself. I will even go & dine alone if I want to. I am an only child so we know how to be alone. LOL. I won't go to a bar/club alone although brothers do it all the time. Many years ago (in my 20s) I went to a concert alone. I was Phyllis Hyman's BIGGEST fan & I had no one to take me, so I went alone. How about I got there & was in an entire row of nothing but brothers!! One of the best times I have ever had.. And Phyllis tore it up too!
paulettebajangal

Been doing it since I was a teen...don't think I'll ever stop...even when I'm hitched and old.there's something about not having to worry about someone being late or being bombarded with someone's else's sordid life while eating or watching a movie.I get enough of that on facebook.lol.

I am my best company...in my honest opinion
paulettebajangal

And yes...I have gone to a club alone many times cause noone was available on that particular night to hang with me.It's no biggie.I can't sit around waiting for people to do something with.Not my cup of tea.
mine jaz

going solo is fun! i talk shit to movies too and i can do that very well bymyself... plus i do try and always carry reading material with me so im never bored or lonely now thai think bout it i alwasy have me myself and i and those three are pretty entertaining!
da ThRONe

1st Im glad all you guys are laughing at my sex life(or lack there of) THANKS!

Maybe Im crazy but its called "dating yourself"? So how would activity that arent "dating" like shooting around at the gym or playing video games go into that category? To me thats not dating thats is my social life. I havent been to a Hornets game by myself but I most definitely would in a heartbeat(CP3 MVP)!

Im not knocking the hustle at all. What ever you need to keep your sanity ,but playing fantasy football isnt dating yourself. And if you have to go somewhere nice and pay an inflated bill for food just to read a book it IMO just sound pointless. A spa day where people pamper you seems to make sense ,but then I dont consider pampering yourself a date.

The point of a date is getting to know somebody better. As a person you are with yourself 24/7 if you dont know you by now I dont think "dating yourself" is going to give you a better perspective. I think theres nothing wrong with being "brave" enough to go out and find entertainment solo ,but it aint for everybody.
Righteous Mama

Da Throne, I think you need a hug. LOL!

I don't see why dating yourself is seen as a thing women do. I mean, you gotta eat don't you? I admit sitting a table along might seem awkward but one could always sit at the bar. I am def more prone to talk to a gent I see sitting alone. It only looks pitiful if you're sitting there sulking.

I go to the movies alone often. I don't have a lot of patience waiting for friends or dates schedules to free up.

I also like going to the beach alone and travelled to the Caribbean solo. That was dope but people kept asking me if I was lonely. Why? The hard part was eating dinner at the resort restaurant alone. I could FEEL EVERYONE staring at me with sympathy. But I had the time of my like...all by myself.

I actually enjoy being by myself so much I wonder if I could ever live with anyone. Lol. I could if my dude travelled...A LOT. Lol.

I think I just really have a thing for peace and quiet cause I work so damn hard. I def think it's important to be content being alone.
kuntreethick

i do it and will continue to do it. although i am relationship, i still value my alone time and my SO understands that.
LL

I wouldn't call it a date, but going somewhere and eating in for a meal isn't a bad thing....

even at dinner time, unless your going to 5 star dine alone, then its a little weird.

Funny.....wealthy folks and even whites don't have a problem going to their favorite spot alone to eat a good meal, heck any kind of meal.
lady may

I have done both because I enjoy solitude. The movies are easy- it especially depends on the time of day you go as well. I don't care what anyone else thinks, but I personally would be more comfortable catching an afternoon flick, rather than the standard 8 p.m. Friday night date movie.

I like dining by myself, too. I've found that when I carry my pen & notepad, I must be mistaken for a food writer or something- because the service is always exceptional- as opposed to when I show up with a book or magazine.

I know this may not be your thing, NWSO- but I recommend that everyone try it at least once as an exercise in getting comfortable with oneself. I have been approached by men while eating alone, but never at the movies. Perhaps people think you're really bugged out if you're by yourself at movie but if you're at a restaurant, you may have been stood up & would welcome the company.
Sb

Lol I think about doing this so much but just can't. I loooove to talk during movies but I can see myself eating alone (at one point in my life a meal was like sex...don't do it in public, but I've changed that :p )

I wouldn't date myself tho, what growth does that bring? My thing w/ any relationships is that if growth stops then it's time to slow down. Growth is possible alone but when someone else is there to challenge ur ideas, more growth is possible.
sankore

I do not have a problem dating myself. I do it alot. I have two teenage boys who are always loud and in my business. So some time alone is always welcomed. If I am not in a relationship at the time during my b-day, I treat myself to a manicure and pedicure and take myself out to lunch or dinner. I enjoy it and it gives me my me time.
Janelle

I date myself all the time. I call it a "Me Day"
ohsokool

Just my opinion:

If a person has to rely on others to have fun or enjoyment, they may consider taking a course in security & self confidence.

I love GOOD company f'real, just to be clear.
Still, Ive always been that dude to get up and go, with or without anyone. That includes going to the movies, clubs, concerts, bar/lounges, short traveling, and yes - eating dolo at restaurant's.

Every so often we all get lucky. Oh yeah, we do.
(grin) but on average, you wind up coming home the same way you left:

Yep, alone & by yourself.

If you can date yourself, you will never ever ever ever ever (aight' you get the point) ever have problems getting dates. Ever.
That dude

I date myself when I don't feel like paying for another person to see a movie and eat dinner lol
ohsokool

Hi five and daps to "That Dude".
We aint cheap, that's just Real talk.. LOL
http://www.ajhayes.com A. Jarrell Hayes

I usually don't comment, but I have to speak up on this one. I go to movies and restaurants by myself quite frequently, just because I feel like going. I enjoy my own company because I like myself, and I don't need another person -- either friend or lover -- to validate me as a person. I usually spontaneous, and at times I can't find a partner to join me on my adventures. Does that stop me? No, I still go. Besides, going to the movies or a concert or play sucks with another person, because they always want to argue and bitch about where they sit, or stand in the back (I like to be up at the stage during concerts). Being by myself allows me to do my thing without having to worry about the emotional state of another human. However, I like hanging out with friends as well; I just prefer to roll solo most of the time.
CC

I love going to the movies with me day or night. I'll also go to breakfast, lunch, dinner and drinks with me. I tend to be a loner and like the freedom of coming and going as I please.
http://people-places-things.blogspot.com/ Bridgette

I'm not single but I do eat out by myself from time to time and didn't realize it was such a big deal. I haven't done the movies by myself (not because of what others might think) but it just hasn't happened (yet). I like getting me time in outside my apt. every now and again. Caring about what other folks think to the point that it stops me from doing things I really enjoy like eating out has never really been my thing. I have gone to museums, art exhibits by myself. Heck, I even stayed at a Bed & Breakfast by myself one weekend (at that time I was single). I think more folks do this sorta stuff in NYC than elsewhere.
http://www.myspace.com/curvywitdreads904 Ms Curvy Wit Dreads 904

I have gone to the movies alone several times. I had a kinda phobia about doing it and wondering if people would like at me funny, but eventually it got to a point of just doing it. I dont go to the movies often, but if something good comes out and i wanna see it, i'll be damned if i wait for a man or one of my homegirls to twiddle their thumbs on going. If i got the free time and money, im going, end of story.
The eating alone thing, in a fine restaurant..cant say i've done it, but i have gone to happy hour and had a drink or two by myself...and enjoyed my own company..so its not an unusual thing. most people dont take the opportunity to get some true "ME" time in enough. someone doesnt have to be up in your face ALL the time.
gorrillakillamofo

i tried to date me but i stood my self up then i called me and dumped me, then tried to make up with me but i ain't having none of that mess.... so i'll just do me............
Just-a-black-girl!

I do it all the time!! I personally don't see the big deal about it! I want to see a movie - I go! I'm hungry - I eat!...I'm not going to beg anyone to assist me..what is that about????
http://markrileymedia.com mark riley

Why would there be a stigma attached to eating and/or going to the movies alone? Would someone rather go with a lame and spend an agonizing evening with a person you really don't want to be with? I'm married now, but when I was single I thought nothing of doing anything I would do with a date by myself (sex excluded). I don't understand. Are people really that judgmental about folks they see out alone? As a previous poster aptly put it, mind your business and eat your food!
http://thisismethen-kt.blogspot.com/ kimkim

Do it all the time. I wouldn't classify it as "dating myself" bc that DOES sound lame but I just call it me time. If I don't feel like staying home on a free day or being bothered, I'll go to the movies. If whoever I'm seeing at the time doesn't want to go see a movie I want to (or my friend's don't have time), I'll go. As far as restaurants, there are certain spots I go to. Give me a good book or magazine, and I'm set. The hardest thing for me was going to a basketball game by myself. It was a little awkward at first but I was there to support the guy I was dating at the time so I got over my OWN insecurity and enjoyed it. Went to all of their home games after that.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying solitude...
Naphtalia

The only place I will not go alone is to a club or a bar. I need my girls or a date for that. Otherwise, I have no problems dating myself!
amelda

I like me. A lot. I go to the movies, dinner, lunch, brunch, whatever I feel like alone. I never felt like anyone was looking at me odd for being by myself. I don't think I've ever looked at anyone alone and felt pity.

I've done Paris, Rome, Spain (Barcelona, Madrid, and Malaga in 10 days) alone. I loved it. I HIGHLY recommend travelling alone to everyone.

I wonder how many of the people that go it alone often are only kids. I am.

Oh, and I had no idea this was a big deal. Who knew?
Mimi in the OC

I think it's really a psychological barrier people have established in their minds, thinking that they will look "pathetic", "desperate" or "pitiful" because they are by themselves. It's all about the way you approach things.
Also I believe that people who see pity feelings in somebody's eyes towards them already felt that way, because I can't recall anybody looking at me in a pitiful way when I hang out by myself. You can interpret people's behavior or facial expression as you wish, it's all hypothetical, maybe the person just had a bad day, what makes you think she's thinking about you? You, her three hundred and fifty-seventh customer at the movies for the day? (Paranoid)

I am not an only kid and I appreciate my alone time, sometimes I have it by choice, sometimes not. In both cases, I don't feel helpless or desperate, I make the best out of it. I actually have a couple of eventful situations and interesting connections resulting from hanging out by myself, although it wasn't in my intention.
In today's society it's almost a crime to not be with someone, during V-day, during Christmas, during Thanksgiving...and even on a daily basis? Then what? When is this "pressure" going to stop?

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't rather be by myself all the times, but are we compelled to stay home if/because nobody's available to hang out with? Why restrict ourselves?
I am sure there are a lot of people who have conflicting schedules with their significant others or friends, or family because of work/school, so are you just going to stay home waiting patiently for the schedule to work out?
HELL NO
LA-LA

Hate to say it, but with me being single, i always go places alone. I have no choice, either go alone or sit at home mad because i'm alone. I chose to go at it alone, I work all the damn time and when i want to go out i just do it. I love going to the movies when everyone is at work, like 1:00 p.m. on a Wednesday, and most of the time im the only one in the theater which is cool by me...Dinner i do alone, beats the hell outta paying for two meals or not being sure if my date is gonna pay for it and with me being single, i dont care about my eyes wondering..could really care less about what people would think anyway cause people gonna say whatever it is they want to say about me anyway...Bars...i go alone, the only thing i hate about that is drinking and then having to proceed to drive drunk, which is a no no, I really dont mind it, and yea that is a convo starter about why i'm sitting here alone and i gladly tell them..."i couldnt find anyone to come here with me" I've always been a loner and will keep being one until i find someone to go with me.. I never let one monkey stop my show man!!
richard sawyer

i date my self alot okay it can be a bit weired being alone in a pub club etc etc but ya get use to it.
i DO have mates in my spare time lol
bogart4017

i have no prob going out alone. I used to hit up this bar some saturday afternoons. People will approach you quicker---sometimes buy you a drink or engage in convo. Nice way to meet people.
Theres a diner up the street i go to alone a lot---the staff knows me 'cause they see me with my wife there a lot. I just eat and read the paper. I don't bother going to movies--folks don't know how to act. Summation---i enjoy my own company (slow eaters usually do).
Spinster

Been dating myself for years and will continue to do it even while having a significant other. To me, it helps to develop a sense of self and reminds one of freedom and independence.
Deka

if you can't go to movies or dinner by yourself you have to work on your ego. Who gives a shit about what people think? people smack their kids in public and dont care about who sees it and gives them the stare. I think we are spoiled!
Chris-Stine

I take myself out on dates all the time. Especially when I was living in NYC. If I'm hungry, I'm hungry. I'll take myself exactly where I want to eat without worrying about if a friend of mine doesn't really feel like Thai that night. It made me feel independent and self assured. You have to enjoy the time by yourself...
Sweetness

I love going to the movies alone. It took me a while to get up the nerve to do it at first, but I got tired of waiting for a man to take me. I love it now, and I try to catch a movie every weekend. I have not gone to dinner alone, but I welcome the solitude of eating alone on my lunch breaks. I'm an academic advisor, so after seeing students back-to-back all morning, I just want to be alone for a little while to clear my head.
Suzanna

It's all about being comfortable with yourself. This is an interesting topic because so many women feel like it makes them less of a person because they don't have that "girlfriend power", but I see nothing wrong with being an independent female. I have never noticed anyone staring at me or thinking that me being by myself is a strange occurrence. Maybe that's either cause I never cared if people were, or I never looked around to wonder. Sometimes, I just need to get away from everything and have some me time. I like who I am and have plenty of friends, but sometimes I need some space to clear my head and relax.
LJ

I have thought about going to a movie by myself, but never have done so. I'm so used to having someone with me when I go to a movie, but I there is a first time for everything. I'm sure I will get up the nerve to go to a movie alone. I have never been to a resturant by myself either, although I don't think it would be any diffrent than going though a drive thru by yourself and eating in the car, but everyone has the own opinions.
http://kayacamilla.com kayacamilla

It would be great to watch a movie while holding hands with your date That could really make me blush, really On the contrary, I don't think there's something wrong dating yourself, eating alone, you might be surprise when someone ask your name and that could be a date with the one you've been looking for. Destiny lead us to the one we have been looking for
Gemini

I've done the movie dinner thing, its cool. My home girl told me to never do it again. She says it makes a person look lonely. But that's the point! I like being alone sometime. I can look at what I want. Hello Handsome!
HT

Been there done that. As your homegirl mentioned, if there's a movie you want to check and no one else wants to see it, what are you supposed to do? Went to dinner too. Checked out a spot that I've always wanted to dine at sat down, ate, drank, had dessert and a cigar to boot. People should try it out. Spend sometime in your own head in public.
zack

just because your not with your friends every second of the day doesn't mean you have no life. i can totally understand why people would be embarrased to go somewhere by themselves because it may make other people think that your a little lonely. but still don't let what other people think get in the way of what you want to do with your time
http://rylzreviews.productreviewsector.com Rylz

okay, I dont think going to the movies by yourself is a "dating yourself" scenario, Its really not that serious people just make it seem like it is the end of the world if you go by yourself. I go by myself all the time.

I really do hate going to the movies with company ladyfriend or homeboys, people talk all through the movies, especially your homeboys be swearing they have funny jokes but its mostly plain useless commentary, and ladyfriends act like they cant understand nothing on their own you gotta expalin everything to them.

...and the part about people looking at you strange ...What the fuck ever... are those people going to pay for your movie ticket. lmao No I dont think so they just gonna look at you funny, they will get over it and you will get over it, life simply goes on...

People should go to the movies by them selves more often, Its really not that serious... Its really liberating like your friend said. Your friend really sounds like she has her head on her shoulder. TBH

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