Do You Use Condoms in a Committed Relationship?

0 Posted by - May 29, 2009 - Relationships, Love & Marriage


Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see how sex without a condom can even be an option. Unfortunately, I grew up (and continue to grow) in an era where HIV/AIDS and other STD/STI are gruesome realities. As far as I’m concerned, wearing a rubber is just part of the process. No glove, no love is the philosophy I stand and live by because no piece of ass is worth my life. That’s why it always bugs me out when I hear people say they don’t use condoms in 2009. Aside from the lost souls that just don’t care, it’s actually people in committed relationships I hear sidestepping protection the most.

Now, I won’t even lie and say I never-ever-ever dipped my Chick-O-Stick in the honey jar for a few seconds/strokes just to “see what it feels like,” but that was in my young and dumb days and in the confines of a committed relationship. My thinking was usually either, “Oh, she’s on the pill” or “One or two quick strokes won’t hurt.” Even then, though, the thought of one of my little soldiers getting past enemy lines scared me shitless and I quickly ceased and desisted any further progress without my protective helmet firmly in place. After one particularly scary “incident,” I left that game of Russian roulette completely alone. Only a fool repeats the same mistake twice, so it’s a condom for me 100-percent of the time committed relationship or not.

Truth be told, I plan on wearing a condom even after I’m married. It’s not that I think my future wife might cheat or vice versa, but I don’t want to have sex raw until I’m ready to have kids. It might sound weird to some, but I’d like to build a solid foundation for my marriage first before becoming a parent. I just believe a lot of people get divorced because they didn’t take the time to adjust to their new roles as husband and wife and truly understanding how different that is from dating. Adding on titles of mommy and daddy too soon can just make that transition even harder. That’s not to say if my wife got pregnant earlier than we planned I’d be upset or think my marriage was doomed for failure, it’s just that I’d like to have a year or two enjoying the honeymoon stage first. That’s my plan, but who knows what God has in store for me and my Mrs. Naked With Stockings On. My perfect match might already be a mother or I could get caught out there with a premarital seed of my own (condoms are not 100-percent) but only time will tell.

In a perfect world, sex wouldn’t require a thin layer of rubber between partners. It would be a natural act between a man and woman in love with the sole purpose of procreating. Of course, a child wouldn’t come from each encounter (unlike THIS guy with 21 kids at 29-years old), but if a life were spawned from your physical union it would be a welcomed blessing. There also wouldn’t be concern for any venereal diseases because all couples would be monogamous. Well, this isn’t a “perfect” world and the above rarely happens. Humans are one of the few species that fornicate for recreation, which means baby-making is the last thing on the average person’s mind when they’re bumpin’ and grindin’.

Let’s be completely real here; how many people reading this right now would actually want to have a child by every single person they’ve ever slept with? Not many I imagine. He/she might be great in bed or extremely sexy, but lacking some key qualities you’d expect from a lifelong partner and co-parent. Chances are there’s a very short list of viable candidates for Father/Mother of the Year in anyone’s black book. So the question is why have unprotected sex with someone you would never want to have a child with? So what she’s on the pill. You can still catch an STD/STI. Yeah, right, the condom doesn’t fit. Stop lying to yourself, buddy. I’m sure it probably does feel better raw, but I’m not curious enough to test that theory without some paperwork, blood work and a ring on both our fingers. Lastly, I could care less if we’re in a committed relationship, married or otherwise, I prefer my sperm and your eggs not cohabitate until I’m ready to be a father and you’re willing to be my wife. That’s my prerogative and it should be yours too. Protection isn’t perfect but it’s a smart start.

Have you ever had unprotected sex? If so, did you regret that decision? Have you ever had any pregnancy or venereal disease scares? What role did your contraceptive usage or lack thereof play in that situation? Do you think people that use birth control pills sometimes see that as a free pass to have unprotected sex? For those that have unprotected sex, is the guy pulling out or ejaculating inside the woman? How many of the people you’ve slept with could you actually see yourself raising a child with? For the unexpected parents, had you known your partner would have gotten pregnant would you have used a condom? Are you more likely to go without a condom if you’re in a committed relationship? Why or why not? Would you use a condom if you were married and didn’t want kids?

Speak your piece…



My homegirl T. over at recently ran an interesting three-part video blog series on the side effects and dangers of birth control pills and other chemical contraceptives. You can check Pill Talk, Pt. 1 HERE and Pill Talk, Pt. 2 HERE. Part 3 should be up soon. Check it out and be sure to share your thoughts.

UPDATE: Part 3 is up now CLICK HERE.


  • da ThRONe

    I havent been in a commitment relationship in so long but last time I was I didnt. Next time around I probably will.

  • Wishful Thinker

    I think I want to be the future Mrs. Naked With Stockings On…lol.
    I totally and completely agree with everything you said especially the marriage part. I thought I was the only one who thought that way. People always question why and now I’ll point them to your blog.

  • 100K

    LOL ohhhh boy

    I’m DEATHLY scared of STDs. I use protection every time I have sex……I was in a situation in ’06 that woke me up…basically this chick with a BF was interested in me and invited me over. I didnt go but she basically told me that she cheated on her man and caught syphilis and gonorrhea. It’s been real ever since then. BAD chick too…

    I recently had a situation where a girl I was interested in and I were talkin about sex. I told her that I never had sex unprotected. She said she never used condoms (red flag 1) but she didnt say if she had committed relationships while doing that (which i woulda understood). she then lied about what age she lost her virginity (red flag 2). I never felt “right” about her from jump, but I liked her spontaneity so I pulled her card. She told me in a previous convo that she wouldnt mind getting tested so I brought it up and she fronted on me. She then told me that she wouldnt go to the clinic unless I was THAT scared of my results or unless she was actually planning to have sex with me. I got more pride than to beg for some ass so I just stayed quiet. I deleted her # shortly after that…

    Only way I’m going down there and not wearing a rubber is when I’m married. I aint getting burnt for shit…

  • BlogXilla

    I wrote a piece about Unprotected Sex being the new marriage. I got a lot of heat for that one, but it was basically a young teen who wrote a report bout this topic. My stance on it was it’s sort of normal for people to go raw once they think they are Locked In `@iAMDIDDY lol

    but you’re 100% right this is a very crucial situation having sex is a crap shoot for real and going raw just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. But to use a condom with your wife? Really? That’s an interesting way of thinking.

    I would really have to think about that. But In reference to kids what’s the alternative? Getting snipped?

    Back when I was younger I would go all willy nilly and I ended up with 2 kids. Haven’t had any kids since because i learned that unprotected is not the way to go… it’s like going into a gun fight with no weapon just doesn’t make sense.

  • Mimi in the OC

    I have always used condoms period. It is really no joke for me, I always have condoms everywhere (in my car, in my purse, in my bathroom, in my nightstand…I guess you just never know LOL). I am not really sexually active right now, but that’s just how I was raised, to protect myself sexually.

    I allow myself to not use condoms in a committed relationship after we’ve been together for 6 months.
    As far as pregnancy scares, I am usually on the pill. But for the few times the condom broke or I forgot my pill, I systematically took PLAN B. However, if I ever got pregnant without being married, I would abort (period) and deal with the consequences. I refuse to bring a child into the world if I cannot provide him with the best, which IMO includes a stable home and loving parents.

    I wanna share this crazy story that happened to me last year and is the reason why I am not having sex anymore until I recover:
    I met a guy and we started going out for a couple of weeks. We had many conversations, and I made sure to explain to him and clarify without any ambiguity that I am a STRICT condom user, I do take the pill but with me no hat no play. Told him I got tested once a year and asked him about his sexual practices which seemed OK (why wouldn’t they be, right?).
    We had sex for the first time, wasn’t great (but that’s not the point anyway lol).
    Now one week later we have sex, I put the condom on (as I usually do to make sure it’s on). We’re doing it doggy style and near the end, when he came he pulled out and I thought that was weird (couldn’t see what was going on in the back obviously). Usually guys didn’t pull out with me since they were using a condom…I wasn’t quite sure what happened and naively remained silent because i didn’t wanna be awkward and/or sound like I’m paranoid. So 3 days later I was still thinking about it and it hit me, he must have taken the condom off. So I call him and ask him, and he tells me yeah the condom got annoying and he thought it was OK cause I’m taking the pill, right?
    I WENT BESERK?!!!??!?!!??!?!?!?!?%$%##@ WTF. HOW COULD HE TAKE A DECISION LIKE THAT WHEN I TOLD HIM HOW I FEEL ABOUT CONDOMS. I WENT NUTS. He took some tests and then showed me…and I deleted his phone number and never saw him again.
    My lesson? Trust no one. Ignorance/stupidity/immaturity (whichever it is or all of them combined) leads to dangerous individuals that could jeopardize your life.
    Consequence? I am officially paranoid, it’s going to take me some time to have sex again. I still feel traumatized, never happened before even with the worst A-holes.

    @NWSO: Now, although I am on the fence with condoms. It will be a tough cookie explaining to your wife that you want to use condoms with her. It just doesn’t sound right. No matter how well you explain that it has nothing to do with her, if you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with that woman, I believe you can also trust her enough to take the pill. Just my opinion.

  • NWSO


    Well, whoever Mrs. Naked With Stockings On would be would have read this blog or had the convo with me in real life. Sex without condoms don’t even seem natural to me at this point. LOL

    wait, that’s kinda a shame, but a reality.

  • da ThRONe


    Can I borrow a rubber? LOL

    Who is crazy enough to sex without a condom with somebody they dont know these days? As a dude I dont have to worry about a chick slipping the condom off. What a jerk!

    People are shady this is why I pratice abstinence. ;)

  • NWSO

    @ Mimi & 100K

    Both crazy stories.

    100K, missed a bullet.

    Mimi, that whole slide the condom off ish is just straight disrespectful. How can some one think that’s cool? SMH

    At least you stood your grounds and denied all future access. That ish is almost like rape if you really wanna go there.

  • Litabia

    So…I’m gonna keep one hunnit. I’m in a committed relationship and no we do not use condoms. We have both been tested and get tested on a regular so no condoms are used when we do the do…which lately ain’t that often anyway. I am temporarily fixed so I as far as pregnancy if it happens then dammit that child was really really meant to be born.

    Not knocking condoms or anything…but I’m not into too many casual sexual encounters so normally if I am having sex with someone it long term. Other than that he had better strap up or go the hell home (or to the store).

  • Mimi in the OC

    @NWSO: That’s how I feel, I feel violated. (Still shocked)
    @ Throne: LOL. The way things are looking right now, I might have to mail them to you before they expire.

  • 100K

    Crazy story Mimi…WOW

    Yeah man….it’s gotten so crazy that I can almost feel females out by “vibe”…like if I get a vibe like something’s off, 9/10 I’m right. Usually it comes out that the chick has had a STD or was more “out there” than she gave off.

    Shorty was asking me “Could you ever be with a female who was in a relationship for a long time but got burnt by her man…but it cleared up..?”. Usually, I’m more calculating and calm but I knew what was gonna go down. I sorta blacked out on her and our second convo about it, she got EXTRA defensive saying that even if it were her she wouldnt tell me knowing my reaction so I knew what time it is

    what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. (pun intended lmao)’s true..I know a lot of my friends look @ unprotected sex like that. it’s crazy. Just with all the stuff I’ve been through with females, I couldnt put myself out there. Unless it was one of my exes lmao

  • Mimi in the OC

    @100K: The worst part about it is, I think he actually told me the truth only because he really honestly thought it wasn’t a big deal…SMH
    He even tried to contact me later telling me how he thought we started off great and he thought we could get it past this “little bump on the road”…
    I just think he is crazy and unconscious…which makes him even more dangerous IMO.

  • Neska

    This guy i was with did that (bout 3yrs ago) and I didn’t realize until afterwords at which point I went off on him not caring that he got tested yearly. You cant tell someones status by lookin at them so you have to have to be careful. Flashbacks of my HS health teacher showin pics of what body parts infected with STD’s look like are running through ma head now oy. I have very little interest in using condoms when i get married because i have unbreakable faith that my husband and I will be monogomous and i would have an IUD or something

  • Me again

    I have a question for the blogger Mr. Naked with socks on, what about oral sex? do you give/receive it? if so do you practice safe sex with that also?????? Please advise, thanks!!

  • NWSO

    @Me Again

    I’ve written about that before. In all actuality oral sex without a condom or dental damn puts you at risk. Something I admitted to knowing but still treading without with caution. Not the wisest thing in the world I know.

    check these older posts below for more:

    1) Article on how condoms help but don’t always protect

    2) My push for regular STD testing, where I speak on oral sex and condoms as well

  • Me again

    ok, thanks, I’ll check them out.

  • 100K

    head with a condom is wacccccck but hey

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  • Shay from L.A. (Los Angeles)

    I find it contradictory when guys preach the use of condoms to prevent STD’s/STI’s, but go down on a chick with no protection. What’s the difference? Instead of having bumps on your dick, you prefer them on your lips?

    With that said…

    Have you ever had unprotected sex? Yes, when I was younger (18-19). I also had regret when I found out the person that I was sleeping with had another girlfriend.

    Are you more likely to go without a condom if you’re in a committed relationship?

    Hell to the NO! I don’t want any kids, plain and simple. I am on the pill and my partner has to use protection.

    Would you use a condom if you were married and didn’t want kids?

    If my husband and I both agreed that we didn’t want children, either he or I would have to get “fixed.” Using a condom while married just seems odd.

    How many of the people you’ve slept with could you actually see yourself raising a child with?

    I have only slept with one person that I thought “what in the hell was I thinking?” I had sex with this 22 year old (SMDH) and after the fact I wanted to shoot myself, lol.

    The others were already great fathers or had the potential to be a good co-parent.

  • Elle

    Have you ever had unprotected sex? If so, did you regret that decision?
    – Plenty of times, but not with plenty of people. I was in 2 long term relationships before and am in one as I type. I have always been on birth control and stick to it religiously. Nope, I haven’t regretted the decision. Before going that route my partner and I get tested and I’ve never caught a STD in 13 years of being sexually active.

    Have you ever had any pregnancy or venereal disease scares?
    – Nope.

    What role did your contraceptive usage or lack thereof play in that situation?
    – I use my common sense and don’t toy with birth control/protection. Never did I have to deal with a busted condom, forgotten pill or anything else.

    Do you think people that use birth control pills sometimes see that as a free pass to have unprotected sex?
    – I am one of “those people” who take birth control. It definitely is not a free pass to have unprotected sex. However, when I am in a committed relationship I have gained trust in my partner because he has proven to be worthy of it. Unless it is a committed and even more importantly a happy relationship, condoms on top of pills are must. I’m not one for casual sex or one-night-stands. Consequently, there haven’t been many different sexual partners.

    For those that have unprotected sex, is the guy pulling out or ejaculating inside the woman?
    – LoL…isn’t that a wee bit too personal to ask?

    How many of the people you’ve slept with could you actually see yourself raising a child with?
    – 2.

    Are you more likely to go without a condom if you’re in a committed relationship?
    – Only then. See above.

    Would you use a condom if you were married and didn’t want kids?
    – Only if I can’t take the pill for some reason or if it may not be safe anymore due to antibiotics/throwing up/diarrhea etc.

  • Elle


    OMG .. the same thing happened to my best friend! Ol’ boy was trying to be clever and hoped she wouldn’t catch him. Luckily, she did and raised hell right then and there.

    *smh* … fucking assholes!

  • DJ Ghost

    Committed relationship – YES. Marriage – No but with caution.

    How many commitments start without the two people REALLY knowing each other first. And truthfully even in marriage – do we REALLY know the significant other we’ve chosen? Sounds paranoid – but better paranoid than dying from a deadly disease.

  • babygyrl287

    I so understand where u r coming from u can’t always believe what ur partner says is true if they tell u at all…….. I believe always honesty is the policy so wrap it up till u r ready if she or he don’t nderstand first then no love

  • Chapzilla

    It feels extraordinarily good + people enjoy horror films.

  • Soulyn

    I totally agree with Naked…. Should I ever marry, I def want my partner to use condoms. At this point in my life, I don’t see myself with children. And though I’ve used birth conrol pills in the past, I will not take them again (dangers of the pill).

    Yes I’ve had a prego scare and learned from that situation.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    I think NWSO has put together a very practical, relevant and mature view of HOW people having sex should think and BE….I even agree with the marriage view, because I think the pill and more recent methods like the implant thingy and others present potential problems for women’s over-all health that are too much to put ones wifey thru….THAT is the only way I think a wife would understand using a condom–if it was to allow her to NOT have to be on the pill…I have kids and was married so yeah, I was into goin RAW with wifey. I have also done so in a relationship that lasted 6 years (started goin raw after 2) becuz she preferred it that way and we were tested regularly and monogamous. I think I could do so again, in a long term committed, monogamous relationship, but it takes time to get to that point where that would be something I’d do…After two years with someone, I think you know them well…know their past..know if they’re trust-worthy and IF both parties are in agreement–go for it, but I’m not one to ask or seek to go raw. I’m cool strappin up becuz I’m in control. And I also realize the seemingly contradiction in wrapping up for intercourse but not oral–but truth be told, MANY, MANY more peeps get disease from inter-course than just IS that way so I’ma keep on doin how I do. The really important part is to get to know peeps before you start hittin it..PERIOD. Taking the pill, having tubes tied, being unable to have kids–none of that matters. Ladies, protect yourself by insisting dude wears a rubber. DC has the HIGHEST HIV rates in the country…..and a big part of becuz WOMEN let dudes go raw…AND men wanna go raw. Be responsible..wrap it up or leave it alone…..

  • Spinster

    NWSO —> HERE <—Spinster.

    What scares me even more is the fact that KIDS are having unprotected sex. Working with kids has shed some light on the practice. Right now, got 2 kids dealing with this – 1 may be pregnant and said she never uses condoms, and the other is more than likely not pregnant (will see over the next couple weeks since she was able to get Plan B) but doesn’t use condoms either. Also just saw the records of another one of my kids (male) who has had urinary tract infection. UTI may be caused by different things, but unprotected was the first thing that came to my mind upon reading that in his records.

    Is it REALLY that serious that one is willing to throw caution to the wind? *shrugs*

  • Spinster

    Mimi in the OC:

    Oh my goodness, so sorry to hear that. What a complete and utter dirtbag asshole. He deserves an ass whooping for that.

    How disrespectful, insulting, tacky, selfish and disgusting. :-|

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    Have any of y’all been married?? There is such a thing as STD tests and the ovulation method.Which I used religiously when i was married.We didn’t use condoms…wasn’t no need to.And neither of us had an STD.So it was no holds barred and I loved it.

    When I was ovulating we didn’t have intercourse…which was easy since it was only for a day or 2.But after that window passed we fucked all day every day.

    When we were ready to have a kid I didn’t even study my ovulation window…we just did it.And I got pregnant the 1st month we tried.

    How did we all get here??Our parents didn’t use condoms.

    I’m not married any more so I buy the dozen boxes from CVS…lmao.Homie don’t play that when I’m not in a committed relationship.but if I ever get married again or is in a long term committed relatonship…after the STD tests and ish are done…I’m not using condoms.”Raw” sex is amazing. The memories of it still linger in my head.

    The reality is….none of us would be here to respond to this blog if our parents didn’t have “raw” sex.No other way to get pregnant…unless y’all are test tube babies.

  • chocopina

    i went out with a guy (briefly) who told me he was allergic to condoms and any girl he was sexing would have to accept the fact that he didn’t use condoms. i laughed, i said you can’t be serious. he was. the real fact was that he was allergic to latex. so i asked him if had looked into condoms that didn’t use latex, he said that he wasn’t aware that there were any on the market (RED FLAG). as a 35 year old man you haven’t looked into latex free condoms? for real? i promptly told him that i didn’t know how many girls have fallen for that bs but it wasn’t going to work with me.

    even if he was allergic to latex, which is entirely possible, the fact that he hadn’t looked into an alternate form of protection was something i could not comprehend. in the back of my mind i am thinking “how many girls has he slept with raw who fell for this shit? and how many people have those girls slept with before him?” the math was making me real nervous. i immediately told homie to kick rocks.

    fyi…trojan, lifestyles, and durex all make latex free condoms. the female condom is also latex free.

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    @ chocopina….A man can never try that one on me.They are alternatives.I will ask him his size and buy it myself.Even leave the brother the remainder so he has back up…((cause you never know how many chicks he’s really sleeping with)).

    At the end of the day $2.99 for a 3 pack of condoms is way cheaper than an STD or a child to raise.I wouldn’t even mind paying $8.50 actually…my health is worth it.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    But Paulette…..Rhythm method and pulling out isn’t for everyone…neither is ” time out ” cuz I’m ovulating…If I’m in the mood and my “EX” wasn’t on the rag…I didn’t want to hear that noise….plus do you KNOW how many women have irregular cycles? My “EX” wife gave me scares all thru college until I realized her cycle changed every other month so wasn’t any sense in being worried becuz she missed her cycle……..anywas, if it worked for you–do you but like everything else–NOTHIN’s for everybody…..

  • DopeAlicious

    i have slipped up in the past and i am thankful that God truly looks after children and FOOLS. I have been married for almost 5 years and we have always used condoms, even when i was on the pill. i stopped taking the pill a few months before we got married and we only went without the condom when we were trying to get preggie (which didn’t take long so yes enjoy ur marriage first nwso, lol) but since then we have continued to use condoms mainly because we don’t want anymore kids. but in this day and age i am terrified for everyone out there, especially young people, especially my children because the end results are deadly. there is never an excuse to go without. even if u have been with someone a long time, u never know what disease could be lying dormant or if they’re even being faithful. just be smart and don’t put ur life in someone else’s hands. great post, nwso

  • Kelly

    Nah…we haven’t used condoms in years.. I’m married and have an IUD. We’re good – we want more babies in the future – if the iud slips up then we’re cool with that – we can provide for ‘em.

    Before – hell naw. No condom = no booty from me. The thought of someone who I’m NOT married or uber committed to sliding up in me without a condom..and bodily fluid contact …omg is disgusting. Can’t even think about it.

    I learned my lessons early watching my older brother have babies with damn near everybody he was in a serious relationship with. He finally saw the light, got married…and now has 10 children – only 2 of which are with his wife. I know all that child support is alot more expensive than a 9.99 box of magnums.

  • chocopina

    @ paulette

    i will gladly purchase the condoms, not a problem. my main issue was that he was a grown ass man trying to tell me he didn’t know they made latex-free condoms! he either thought i was going to fall for the okey doke or it really hadn’t dawned on him to look into an alternative. either way it was a huge character flaw and a deal breaker.

  • Ms. La

    I have been on depo for about 10 years now. I have had a couple of encounters with no condom but was always immediately tested. Now a days with DL brothers and HIV rising in black females its a must. I actually had a brother get upset with me because I asked him to wear a condom. He was offended and left. I was glad, probably saved my life!!!

  • Forty Something

    For me a condom has to used or there will be no sex…. What amazes me is how ignorant some people are towards having unprotected sex… They are still under the notion that if a person looks healthy then its ok to have unprotected sex. They dont have a clue that STD dont have a face.. and with how advance medicines are today one could be on a variety of meds and you couldn’t tell just by looking at them.

    I also know of a few young men.. that will use a condom for sex to prevent pregnancy and catching std however, they will still perform oral sex… they believe you can’t get std from oral sex… how stupid….

    We really need to educate our young folks.

  • Momof3

    Hmmmm… This is a GOOD one… I’ve only had two partners in my 24 years and I have a child by both of them … Had I known what a dead beat my initial partner would have been then I would have used protection without a second thought… I have been married for the last 4 years and my husband is the bio father of my last two children (2), (7m)… We never use protection… Before we got married we did all the time… And up until the time we decided to conceive my 2yo. After that it was let the children come as they may lol… STD’s??? I am proud to say that I am one of the only people I know who has never had one. And as long as my husband remains faithful it’ll remain that way…

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    @ DC Man with a Plan…I never said it was for everybody.I would bet a $1 Million dollars most married couples are having unprotected sex though.With some form of birth control occasionally.

    Cause if the reasons for condoms are 1) to prevent an STD and 2) to not get pregnant…when there’s no STD and you figure out a way to prevent pregnancy…folk are having unprotected sex.

    Whether we like it or not the birth rate is what it is because people are having unprotected sex.We aren’t….but a lot of people are.

    I would never sleep with a man that runs me any line like “i don’t use condoms because….”…ain’t no reason good enough.

  • Anonymous

    NWSO, you gave me something to think about. I dont know if I would have sex without a condom even after marriage. I know I wouldnt before marriage. I played that game with one dude and ended up with my beautiful little girl. I havent done that since and never will again! More babies and diseases are not my cup of tea.

  • MsRenise

    Good post!
    It seems as though ignorance is bliss where I’m from though. They dont teach this ish in school nor do our parents even acknowledge that we might be getting down. So many of us are left to explore on our own.
    I dont know one person who has not had some form of STD, not one! And I know plenty of ppl with babies before rings (I’m one of them due to my naivete). Now that I am grown and more educated, I take the necessary precautions.
    However, I have never considered wearing a condom after marriage. That’s like the ultimate prize to be raw with your husband whenever. I would gladly continue to take some form of birth control to prevent missing out on the physical satisfaction that comes with this beautiful union.

  • NWSO


    I ask about the withdrawal because I really wanna know how people who don’t use condoms actually operate. Are they just bustin off all willy nilly in every girl or only some? Are they pulling out and spraying the sheets or her stomach/back? I don’t see how the latter could be enjoyable. I know when a girl pulls off with head it’s not as enjoyable—honestly—so I imagine pulling out the love box would be same, so I’d rather a condom where I can feel my full orgasm.

    But the personal nature of that question goes to see how dangerous people are living. It’s all dangerous but if you’re bustin in everyone higher risk for disease and pregnancy. If you’re pulling out, there’s still risk for BOTH but at least there’s some form of awareness—athouh not enough for my liking. Then the question also reflects who exactly are people withdrawing/bustin with? Jump-offs? Wifeys? Girlfriend/boyfriend? Their gay partner?

    May be personal for you but I really am curious as to what is going through people’s minds that go raw and how they are doing this.


  • Dc Man with a Plan

    @ Paulette……it goes without saying that NOTHING is for everyone…so that’s a given and Iif I intimated you said that–it was an error on my part. Obviously we know kids are being born so unprotected sex is happening…and the number of out of wedlock babies is HIGH too, especially in the African american community, so that also means there’s sex happening in an unprotected manner….but at least peeps that are married have made a SERIOUS committment and are in the STANDARD type of relationship associated with making babies, no matter how it eventually works out. I just don’t see a woman feeling the quality of her sexual experience as a married woman is going to be determined by whether or not her hubby wears a condom or not. Do you think it makes THAT type of difference? Getting some is getting some…Having rules that two adults agree upon is much more important to me, than the details of what those rules turn out to be. How many husbands have EVER cheated on their wives–and how many wives have EVER cheated on their husbands? The point is, no matter how much you love someone…the only person I can be 100% SURE I know what they’ve been up to–is ME. And while I do not think concern about a spouse cheating should be the catalyst for deciding to use condoms or not…it certainly can be one of MANY considerations that lead one to choose to wear one, even after being married…….just food for thought for each of us. What you or anyone else chooses to do is on them cuz I won’t be buying pampers based on any decision you or anyone else on here makes…….

  • NWSO


    I know there are STD test and all that and my reason for wanting to use a condom when I’m married isn’t for fear of disease—it’s my wife and I would trust her and she would trust me—and it’s not that I don’t want kids at all, it’s just when I’m/we’re ready. Plus, having sex with condoms is autopilot for me, to do without one just seems wrong. That;s how engrained in my head is. Yes, my wife is the woman i’ll go raw with, but like I said I want to have kids when I’m ready so why not use a condom. Sure, God could have other plans and we have kids earlier, but I just want to do my part to have a say in when I procreate—wife or not.

    And I agree with DC Man, that “Oh, I’m ovulating” let’s not have sex these two days. SMH. Besides, sperm lives in the body for 3 days, so if I let loose a few soldiers 2-3 days before you were ovulating they could still crack ya egg. You can try and plan your cycle down to a T, but there’s is no real telling. Your body moves on it’s on volition.

  • NWSO


    Did people check the links to THE DANGERS OF BIRTH CONTROL????

    It’s very interesting and not every woman’s body responds well to the pill. Negative side effects, depression, acne, weight gain/loss. What happens when your wife/spouse can’t do that? Condoms?

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    @NWSO…it really depends on the fellow.of course everyone you have sex with isn’t 100% honest.Since I have no clue if/how dude is ejaculating with last chick or ‘current” other chick….I expect him to ejaculate in the condom…if he’s pulling out it’s to remove condom and then ejaculating on my stomach or something.

    But I know of 2 people right now in my circle with Herpes…one is a female and one is a male.The male told someone he was sleeping with AFTER they had protected sex.Which is CRAZY.

    I would rather someone tell me they had an STD BEFORE we have sex so I can make a conscious decision to go there or not. And in “go there” I mean study the chances of me getting infected WITH protection.But I honestly wouldn’t sleep with someone that informed me they had one.

    And if I ever get an STD…i am letting anyone I plan to have sex with know in advance.I assume there are people with STDs taking precautions not to infect someone else.

  • NWSO

    @ Paulette & everyone else

    You should check out the piece I did for last month’s Essence magazine (Jennifer Hudson cover). Was an anonymous man that has herpes and used to have sex with women without protection or telling them. Scary shit. THAT interview straightened me up quick, you should see what didn’t make the article.

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    When I saw the pictures of STDs at the doctor’s office and researching online….that was enough for me.

    It is scary shit.Look at the penis or vagina you are about to fuck….examine that shit.there’s no way to judge just by looking but for real….a penis should not have mountains and valleys of bumps on it.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    @ Paulette…..just so you know….I respect and admire your input–MOST…You are a REAL woman and I like your flavor…Keep on being you…cuz I’m likin you for real……..during my 20 years of marriage….I rarely used a condom and have 3 kids out of that union…As mentioned above, my “EX” never consistently had a cycle that was definable. And even when we were activley trying to make a baby–we couldn’t. Ended up going to the geting checked, her getting checked and just before we got to the ‘desperate’ state where she was to get hormonal pills, she got pregnant, but it took like 4 years to happen….and never was something that occurred easily thereafter…..

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    here are some pics of STDs on men and women.OMG.Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

  • Ms.Trecie

    I have had sex unprotected with one man continuously, my son’s father. I was with him for 5 years. I do NOT make it a habit because I have no desire to catch an STD. I have never had one and I get tested every 6 months regardless. I do have a child,however, I have no regrets about my situation. His father and I are very good friends, and he knows that we both love him. But, with the rates of STD/STI’s and HIV/AIDS going up, it is very important to protect yourself. IF I get married then I do not think that I will use a condom. I generally want more kids, but I plan on being a Mrs. first, enjoying my marriage, and having my son in school (he’ll be 3 in September) before I go half on any more babies.

    BTW….where are the applications on being Mrs. NWSO? LOL! I kid, I kid! Or am I? :)

  • chocopina

    @ NWSO

    I did read the birth control effects link.

    I will say that there was a while when I was trying to find a pill that worked for me the hormones were doing some serious work on my moods. I’d be wanting to cry for no good reason, ready to chop somone’s head off for the tinyest infraction. It was surreal. It felt like I was going insane but was helpless to stop it.

    I did find a prescription that works for me without the mood swings and i love it. I take the pill to regulate my cycle, not for preventing pregnancy – although that is a welcomed side effect. you never know if the condom is going to bust or someone tries to pull a trick like what happened to mimi.

    The pros of the pill outweigh the cons for me. Without the pill I could be menstruating for two weeks at a time and have cramps so bad I wouldn’t be able to leave the bed. The pill regulates both things for me so I can have a life. Otherwise I might be a hermit.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    but my point is this: HAD my “EX” wife not been a woman who didn’t seem capable of having a child…I woulda been wrapping it up until such time as we decided we wanted to have children…..As it was, she missed cycles at least once a quarter–but wasn’t pregnant..You can get into a false sense of security that way…but we were married and to me that DOES make a difference…The ring and vows are symbols, but they’re STRONG symbols of unity and conformity with societal rules and norms….

  • ChiChi

    I agree with you…though I have slipped up and had sex once or twice w/o one. And let him “put the head in”. LOL I’ve always said from jump that we can’t be having no babies right now, so we NEED condoms. The only reason I’m not on BC right now is because we are LDR and he’s on deployment. Also, I think the condom after marriage thing is good, too. No babies till if/when I’m ready.

  • Chocolate Beaute’

    There was a guy in my city whose nickname was ” Fruit Punch ” who was HIV positive and spreading that shit to men and women !! It was a shock to most people because we don’t see much of any type of major disease here at all . FP is now in prision because of it and when they asked him the reason behind what he did he said that he did’nt want to be the only one with it !! That sawri ass nicca even made babies that were born with it !! In my opinion they should have roasted his ass , but i must say that it was a definite wake up call for myself and other people i knew who werent using protection ever time

    My case is a little different though because i found out that i was allergic to latex when i was 18 . I thought that i had an std after i used one because i was so irritated . I started using condoms made from material like polyuethane or lambskin after my allergy was confirmed , but those types of condoms are hard to find at times so i must admit that i have given up and just went raw on a few occassions . After that FP scare i started to order condoms in bulk so that i always have them handy and i stash them everywhere !!

  • staffonsgirl

    been with lover since 1995, use of rubber every single time. might dip it in, and out. those long strokes a condom is in play. the sex is amazing, twat is sooooo wet, cock is harder than a diamond.
    stays inside of me till the end, done deal. i am not left wondering if he burned me. oh yeah oral sex is to case the joint, smelling, looking, and tasting can give you a heads up on all that STD/STI. no symptoms, check the lymp nodes if there is an infection they will be swollen! so taking a proacative stance in your sexual health is a must.
    know your mate, know your red flags
    i do agree with the condom use during marriage
    same thing applies, who do you trust their word or your actions. my life is mine , and even in marriage i am still a seperate entitiy.
    i respect a man who willingly puts a hat on. which is why me and my lover have longevity. the sex gets better and better. because were being responsible and having fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Chocolate Beaute’

    @ staffonsgirl

    That was hot and inspirational !!

  • K-Love

    Well I am in a commited relationship, and no we don’t use condoms. When we first started dating we used them, but eventually they came off never to be put on again. We joke about it sometimes, anytime either one of us is away we say, ” No diseases and no babies”. That means if cheating is even on your mind make sure you protect yourself and me. I have no fears. It is what it is. We have both been tested, and he is actually a black man that believes in physicals, as do I. We both actually want one more child. We both have 1 son ( so you know we did not use condoms in past relationships as well) and we want a daughter. But this conversation comes along with the marriage talk. I can’t imagine he and I using a condom, it would feel so unnatural. But if we weren’t in a commited relationship, he would be strapping up.

    And further more, they get in the way. When its my D*** I get really really freaky and I don’t like tasting latex mid-sex and he doesn’t either.

  • Sweetp

    Wow all of the comments were interesting. Everyone that has commented has restored my faith that some people are actually thinking about the consequences of having unprotected sex. I currently work for my home state in the Bureau of STD and i must say the number of STIs/STD cases that are reported are horrific. We have these agents that work for the state called Disease Intervention Specialist (DIS) that go out and track down individuals that are out there spreading STIs/STDs. I receive a bi-weekly reports on syphillis alone. OMFG i am horrified everytime i read what people are actually doing out here. A lot of them are very nonchalant about what they are out here doing. People will be out here having unprotected sex with many different anonymous partners. The bad part is they have syphilis the even worse part is, the have known that they are HIV+ for years. I see everything and it scares the hell out of me. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are also on the rise in my state. I was looking at the numbers and they are increasing by 50-60% every year. People need to wake the hell up! Yeah gonorrhea, chlamydia, and some forms of syphilis are curable however, HIV/AIDS, herpes and any other viral disease that may be out there is not. What really frustrates me is that the rates i see are highest among teens and young adults. Before i worked for the state, i used to work in a hospital and that is where i really saw the consequences of choosing to make careless decisions. I saw so many people, in particular young people in there dying from an opportunistic infections brought on by having full blown AIDS. I believe that people have become so complacent about their relationships and health, that they just dont think about the consequences of having unprotected sex. I think that regardless of how long you have known someone or you go get tested together, whatever the excuse may be, protect yourself. People are out here and will lie to your face and like the person “Fruit punch”, people will give it to you because someone gave it to them. I thank God for the mother i have because without her i would not have the knowledge and information i was given at the age of 8. My mom told me penis’s are poison dont go near them. I must say it worked. Of course, over the years she followed up on her statement and when i was 16 she enrolled me in an HIV/AIDS course. Oh thank you Jesus that did it for me! Im like i have never seen a vagina and an anus with mountains growing off of it. My point is, without that constant reminder that there is stuff out here that will disable or kill me, i would not be blessed with the knowledge i have today and hope to share with others. Below is a link to the CDC website for STD clinical slides. I highly recommend that everyone share them!

    @ NWSO
    I love reading your blog. Are you accepting applications for Mrs. NWSO? Lol:-)

  • da ThRONe

    Im not getting any ass so why am I in this subject anyway? Im going take this blog off! LOL

  • staffonsgirl

    the cock is mine, i am his freak of the week, we are committed to being in an open, responsible and realistic relationship.
    getting it INNNNNN “ya heard me”
    like alicia keys said”NO ONE”.
    communication is the key, He says get the condom” the magnum” i whip it out!
    the first realtionship is with self.
    self-preservation is the key to life.
    no disrespect to anyone else, the love i have for myself is more than any love i can receive from the cock, as good as it is! feel me

  • MizzRenea

    Wow…where to start lol, so i dont wanna make myself sound horrible but I HATE CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL….. Yes i know but let me explain. Condoms they suck plus i’m allergic to latex so i get to use the animal skin ones anyone know how those fuck up a mood lol…..Then Birth control i was on the shot for 3 years and it fucked my body completely. Doctors say i might not be able to have kids. I do use condoms NOW on a regular even though i hate them. Me and my ex were together for 2 1/2 years and didnt use one. Simply because we were at the point where it was okay if we were to have kids. As for scares yes. I had a pregnancy scare about 2 months ago to be completely honest. I had used a condom and the damn thing broke :( worst experience ever, i had to take the PLAN B pill (the morning after pill, which is actually two damn pills no one tells you about). It makes you feel like shit for days and really fucked with my body. :( So now i’ve learned to be extra careful and extra safe. Thank the good lord above i’ve never had an STD scare. I’d freak.

  • Anonymiss

    the guy who raped me didn’t use a condom.

    before and after that incident I have never had unprotected sex. I’m disgusted by the idea. I agree with you NWSO, I’ll probably use condoms after marriage.

  • Celibate One

    My suspicion that people (men) are a lot less safety-conscious when it comes to sex actually helps me keep my resolve. If I were tempted, I’d probably fall off the wagon, but by the time I got through making sure the guy was safe, the feeling might be gone. And the BS I hear about oral sex makes me just as wary of a kiss. When I became single again, I really thougt it would be hard to stay celibate, but when I think about how wreckless many people are…I’m good…

  • 100K

    Im sorry about that ^

  • 1-LL

    The last committed relationship I thought I was in I never used condoms……..and when I found out that he was not committed, I just got tested and stopped having sex with him altogether before leaving.

    I think next time around, I will do so………Period.

  • litrisha

    I think condoms are important, married or not married. Some people say well we’re married and we don’t use condoms……??????????? Hello????????? That is no excuse for not wearing one, and some guys get offended when you want to wear a condom with them. I don’t believe in the whole “pulling out” method…..never works, maybe once in a blue moon, but shit if the guy is feeling good while he is in there, how could he concentrate?
    Whenever I get married or start a committed relationship, I will make sure to let the guy know BEFOREHAND that there will be lots of condom use, and if he doesn’t agree then hey…….NICE KNOWING YOU!!!!
    I’m all about being safe and careful until I am ready and I really feel the guy that I’m with is worth us taking off that condom…..then yeah but for now……….STAY STRAPPED!!!!

  • staffonsgirl

    ladies & gentlemen, the only committment is to yourself. who else besides you is more valuable than you? i love you so much that i will risk my life to show you that i love you. love me and put a condom on. thats love. its not are you phucking someone else, or do i trust you.
    i love you, i love me enough said.
    like the guy who is 29 with 21 kids, are you phucking out of your mind? what part of the game is that? who does that? if you love me you’ll let me hit it raw, i love you, you can hit it raw. what guy is worth AIDS?

  • da ThRONe

    There are other methods to prevent babies other than condoms cause clearly this subject is base more on procreation then STD/STI. If your involved in a serious relationship or marriage I doubt that caughting something is your main concern. I think its something you should be discussing with your S.O.. But I dont think that its clear cut that you continue to wear condoms after marriage. Without a doubt sex is better condomless so I plan on sexing without them once Im married. This takes me back to the problem with marriages. Marriages are about sacarifice if your not willing to sacarifice and/or compromise than marriage is clearly not for you. If I find the prefect lady and she does want to wear condoms after marriage I willing to because Im willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    The other thing to remember……Sometimes a ” negative ” reading on an HIV/Aids test takes a year or so to show up. Say U just got married in Jan……knew you’re baby girl for the past two years…but you had that WILD bachelors party where you got some head and one last “hit” from some stray azz……Who knows what your BOO did at her bachelorette’s party…but lets say y’all both got a test in Jan…days before the wedding….It’s June now…How many HIV tests are y’all likely to have gotten since Jan? And so you been hittin it raw…cuz y’all married and everything is peachy-keen bcuz both of y’all was “negative” in Jan? HELLLOOOOO..It still takes a few cycles of TESTING to make sure you’re negative…..and that’s just ONE reason. It is said when you sleep with someone…You’re virtually sleeping with EVERYONE they’ve been with during the past several years….Hmmmmm. But for real, I’d be going raw with my wife too…lol…I’d just keep all of this in mind and make sure we BOTH agree to continue to do regular testing for that first year….just in case, cuz shyt happens!

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    There are millions of people living with STDs today and it doesn’t make them any less human.And if your spouse has an STD and you get it…what next?? Are you going to divorce the person or deal with the future together??

  • staffonsgirl

    your correct it’s called the “window period”. usually the antibodies take about three months to show up. their not testing you for the “virus” it self. but your bodies defense to it. so lets say your infected, but your immune sysytem keeps it surpressed, you get tested “negative”. ten years later your immune system is compromised it shows up. so oh yeah.

  • Spinster

    Author: paulette-BAJAN-gal
    There are millions of people living with STDs today and it doesn’t make them any less human.And if your spouse has an STD and you get it…what next?? Are you going to divorce the person or deal with the future together??

    Figured I’d answer this, rhetorical question or not. I would make SURE that the door hit him where the good lawd split him. :-| Putting my body and health at risk….. ultimate epic fail and ultimate hell no.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    Hey Paulette, calm down. There are NUMEROUS injustices in the world we live in–and some of them, I am not proud to say, are perpetrated by ME…Truth is truth. I’m not able to wear my holier-than tho halo yet, but hopefully I’ll get there one day. So IF my wifey has an STD…obviously among the FIRST things we gotta get to the bottom of is When TF did this happen? Have I been in this hypothetical marriage two days or 6 years? It makes a difference bcuz one could be called ADULTERY…the other an unknown issue from the recent past. MY point is this: I would expect my future wife to be PISSED to no end….and would not hold it against her if she chose to WALK, were I the one who gave HER an STD……So like-wise, I would give myself the same options…to Be pissed, and yeah, perhaps to decide this ain’t the one after-all…but it depends on the story that goes with the disease…If you had this shyt for a minute and didn’t tell me…that ain’t soundin good. If you didn’t know and it somehow went undetected, we gonna have to talk with medical professionals and others to see what’s up. But the fact is, I and others discriminate against peeps with STD’s…..tell someone you have herpes…and many are going to leave you the f*ck alone. I understand it and I also understand the need to have compassion, to be sensitive…but then there is LIFE and the way we tend to be socialized to live it. People are shunned..and have been for millennium for this thing or that. Don’t act like you’re brand new! I recall seeing an episode of Tyler Perry’s house of Payne, where this woman was talking to peeps about having HIV…and one woman wouldn’t take a cookie from her…….It ain’t right since it has nothing to do with how you catch aids…but the point is: that’s life. It ain’t always perfect, ain’t always pretty, isn’t always logical, but I try to be honest and real with mines… I don’t always reflect the politically correct answer…but I’ma keep praying to God to work with me on that…ery’body else just gonna have to accept me as I am now…or keep it movin..
    We ALL have choices…….

  • paulette-BAJAN-gal

    @ DC…..maybe you’re confusing me with Spinster.I just asked a question…I didn’t leave a comment.Trying to figure out why you are telling me to calm down.

    But to answer the question…if my husband found out he had an STD or I found out I had one during the marriage it would make more sense for us to have each other’s back…especially if we both are found to have it.In the case of cheating….we would have a lot more issues to deal with than an STD.

    In this time though…they are so many medicines to manage diseases that having a disease isn’t the end of your life like it prob was back in the day.Cause the reality is…the parents commenting here…including you and myself have already put ourselves at risk when we had unprotected sex with the co-parent of our child/children.

  • Dc Man with a Plan

    @ Paulette…I was responding to your statement that said ” there are millions of people living with STD’s……and it doesn’t make them any less human.” Which to me, sounded kinda huffy-puffy, but my bad if I mis-construed your ‘tone.’ All of what you said IS true, but they’re still stigmatized…….my nephew has type 1 diabetes…..he had NO control over getting it, but is he treated the same by everyone? Naw, not at all but that’s life…and his life in particular. and I tell him to be ready to speak his piece when he feels he’s being patronized or treated unfairly…..Diabetes is soo common place today, you’d think there wouldn’t be a problem, but there is…and the beat goes on. I have spoken about my nephews condition and peeps acted like I said he had 3d stage cancer! So you don’t have to tell me about new medicines being able to extend and improve the quality of life…THIS is still about the world we live in and it isn’t always fair…so what if med’s can help you live longer and almost ‘normal’ if people still treat you differently? All I was really conveying is WE don’t care about all of that, which is why one of the greatest dilemmas for people with HIV is when do you tell someone you’re dealing with that you have it? some peeps DON’T tell bcuz they know they’ll be treated differently…That ain’t right on either end…..but it’s a reality…AND a whole nother blog subject so I’ma stop here. You just seemed to ME to expect everyone to be sympathetic and understanding…and in the abstract, that’s easy….but when you’re approached by someone with it–who you were thinkin of getting it on with…THEN whatcha gonna do? That’s the angle I was referring to..and I’m NOT directing my comments to you….but to all of the sockheads…..So me and you are WAY COOL in my book. Based on some of your posts, I sho WOULD like to….

  • Ms. Phat Booty

    If you want to get some love you need to put a glove on it!
    If you want to go in raw put two rings on it!

    When I was younger (in the beginning) I did not use condoms since I “believed” that I was in a committed relationship with my high school sweetheart of 6 years. He told me that he was with me and no one else and we planned to be married. Fast forward, dude goes away to college and starts to act brand new, my spidie senses tells me to start wrapping it up while with him. Fast-forward, I learn that he was cheating on me with some chick @ his school (long crazy story). Fast forward to two years ago he admits to me (13 years later) that he was fucking around on me the whole time we were together. The girl he cheated on me with @ his college he married and later learned that she gave him herpes and karma would have it that he now has testicular cancer (hence why he wanted to get right with the Lord and make amends with me).

    I am so glad that I listened to my intuition and started using condoms and I am so happy that I did not leave that relationship with a souvenir. Quite honestly, I may still use condoms when I get married since some men do stupid things based on bad judgment.

  • Spinster

    WOW. Thank goodness you dodged that bullet. :-|

  • Ms. Phat Booty

    @ Spinster I thank the Lord every day that I dodged that bullet.

    I just don’t understand why TODAY some folks still choose to have casual sex with strangers without strangers. When I was growing up children were not born with HIV or AIDS, unlike today.

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  • Jatice

    I think niggaz are lying. I’m a female and I’ve had lots of unprotected sex. In fact, I’ve probably had more unprotected than protected sex. I didn’t know better and fuck anyone who says it’s impossible to not know better. It’s my truth. I know better now. This blog helps. I had the opinion that all men were scum bags but you give my screwed up head hope. thank you. Word um up!

  • Jatice

    I didn’t even know that I had the option to use condoms in a marriage. fml. I thought no one would want to use protection in a “committed relationship. I need to stop surrounding myself with scum. dayum. And I’m working on my masters degree. thanks man. thanks everyone who contributed by sharing comments.


    Smooches, everyone!
    1. committed or not is YOUR health Your Responsibility?
    2. when you profess love to someone or vice versa is there a Premise of OWNERSHIP?
    3. We are dealing with human beings who make bad, wrong, and even hurtful decisions, so in saying that
    yeah you love me, support me, take care of me but I don’t own you, and you don’t own me
    so therefore the allegiance is to self in spite of Any Professed allegiance to the other!
    will I put my life in your hands in a Committed Relationship?
    This goes against SELF-Preservation
    As much as I want/need Love, I need my life more

  • Nate

    By committed, if you mean marriage, then it is perfectly acceptable to not use condoms, if your ready to have a baby or she is on the pill. If you married this person, you should trust him/her with your sexual health.

    Any other committed relationships, then it is prudent to wear a condom, if not for birht control, but your own health.

  • STD Pictures

    Condoms are a great prevention method that doesn’t cost much and takes little time to put on. The only challenge is some one being in a rush or just getting lost in the moment of extacy.

    If the relationship is new, then prevention methods should be a top concern. For couples that have been together for a reasonable time, have both gone for regular std testing and are faithful to each other…. protection may not be important unless the use is done as a way to curb pregnancy.

    Getting HIV & STD infections is really a scary idea. Many people do not take the time to consider the possibilities they may get infected. Getting informed is part of the process to make smarter choices when you have sexual opportunities.

    For example, right now is April which is STD Awareness Month. The focus of this moth is for people to take more consideration of their sexual health and make smarter decisions about what they do during sex. is a top std picture reference site that helps people see the types of bumps, sores, marks and other visible traits of common stds. It’s worth your time to look at so you think twice before not using a condom.

  • NWSO

    @STD Pictures

    Thanx for the info and link

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  • tomas

    The reason I am still having unprotected sex is because I am married. Though I read one article by a health expert which insisted condoms should be worn even by married couples all the time except when trying to concieve. Yikes, I get that the condom message is important for those not married, but dont forget about the giant portion of the population that is married. Frankly condoms make sex so terrible I would have to pass if my wife started insisting on using them (i already have a vasetocmy). Its hard enough getting in the mood for unprotected sex after 20 years of mariage throwing in a condom would make it way more work than was worth it.

  • tomas

    so I’m guessing you dont plan on having any kids? Or are you going to use en vitro? Just saying condoms make it really hard to have kids.

  • Home Remedy for STD

    of course because I dont want my couple to be pregnant and Im not ready for having Child :p

  • Healths Bodys


  • LOL

    In committed relationship and we live together. We have only have raw sex in all ways possible you can think of:). As for the diseases and children part, not something we worry about. I have had a tubal ligation with cauterization after having my second child at 22. I am 36 and he is 46, and we both love it!!!

    However, this is not for everyone. We both waited for awhile to do this while (used condoms) in dating phase, both had full panel STD tests, and very close and trust each other. We basically are raising a family together with his child and my child.