Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see how sex without a condom can even be an option. Unfortunately, I grew up (and continue to grow) in an era where HIV/AIDS and other STD/STI are gruesome realities. As far as I’m concerned, wearing a rubber is just part of the process. No glove, no love is the philosophy I stand and live by because no piece of ass is worth my life. That’s why it always bugs me out when I hear people say they don’t use condoms in 2009. Aside from the lost souls that just don’t care, it’s actually people in committed relationships I hear sidestepping protection the most.
Now, I won’t even lie and say I never-ever-ever dipped my Chick-O-Stick in the honey jar for a few seconds/strokes just to “see what it feels like,” but that was in my young and dumb days and in the confines of a committed relationship. My thinking was usually either, “Oh, she’s on the pill” or “One or two quick strokes won’t hurt.” Even then, though, the thought of one of my little soldiers getting past enemy lines scared me shitless and I quickly ceased and desisted any further progress without my protective helmet firmly in place. After one particularly scary “incident,” I left that game of Russian roulette completely alone. Only a fool repeats the same mistake twice, so it’s a condom for me 100-percent of the time committed relationship or not.
Truth be told, I plan on wearing a condom even after I’m married. It’s not that I think my future wife might cheat or vice versa, but I don’t want to have sex raw until I’m ready to have kids. It might sound weird to some, but I’d like to build a solid foundation for my marriage first before becoming a parent. I just believe a lot of people get divorced because they didn’t take the time to adjust to their new roles as husband and wife and truly understanding how different that is from dating. Adding on titles of mommy and daddy too soon can just make that transition even harder. That’s not to say if my wife got pregnant earlier than we planned I’d be upset or think my marriage was doomed for failure, it’s just that I’d like to have a year or two enjoying the honeymoon stage first. That’s my plan, but who knows what God has in store for me and my Mrs. Naked With Stockings On. My perfect match might already be a mother or I could get caught out there with a premarital seed of my own (condoms are not 100-percent) but only time will tell.
In a perfect world, sex wouldn’t require a thin layer of rubber between partners. It would be a natural act between a man and woman in love with the sole purpose of procreating. Of course, a child wouldn’t come from each encounter (unlike THIS guy with 21 kids at 29-years old), but if a life were spawned from your physical union it would be a welcomed blessing. There also wouldn’t be concern for any venereal diseases because all couples would be monogamous. Well, this isn’t a “perfect” world and the above rarely happens. Humans are one of the few species that fornicate for recreation, which means baby-making is the last thing on the average person’s mind when they’re bumpin’ and grindin’.
Let’s be completely real here; how many people reading this right now would actually want to have a child by every single person they’ve ever slept with? Not many I imagine. He/she might be great in bed or extremely sexy, but lacking some key qualities you’d expect from a lifelong partner and co-parent. Chances are there’s a very short list of viable candidates for Father/Mother of the Year in anyone’s black book. So the question is why have unprotected sex with someone you would never want to have a child with? So what she’s on the pill. You can still catch an STD/STI. Yeah, right, the condom doesn’t fit. Stop lying to yourself, buddy. I’m sure it probably does feel better raw, but I’m not curious enough to test that theory without some paperwork, blood work and a ring on both our fingers. Lastly, I could care less if we’re in a committed relationship, married or otherwise, I prefer my sperm and your eggs not cohabitate until I’m ready to be a father and you’re willing to be my wife. That’s my prerogative and it should be yours too. Protection isn’t perfect but it’s a smart start.
Have you ever had unprotected sex? If so, did you regret that decision? Have you ever had any pregnancy or venereal disease scares? What role did your contraceptive usage or lack thereof play in that situation? Do you think people that use birth control pills sometimes see that as a free pass to have unprotected sex? For those that have unprotected sex, is the guy pulling out or ejaculating inside the woman? How many of the people you’ve slept with could you actually see yourself raising a child with? For the unexpected parents, had you known your partner would have gotten pregnant would you have used a condom? Are you more likely to go without a condom if you’re in a committed relationship? Why or why not? Would you use a condom if you were married and didn’t want kids?
Speak your piece…
THE DANGERS OF BIRTH CONTROL
My homegirl T. over at SocialLicks.com recently ran an interesting three-part video blog series on the side effects and dangers of birth control pills and other chemical contraceptives. You can check Pill Talk, Pt. 1 HERE and Pill Talk, Pt. 2 HERE. Part 3 should be up soon. Check it out and be sure to share your thoughts.
UPDATE: Part 3 is up now CLICK HERE.