Are Tongue Rings Sexy or Freaky? (Suck It or Not)
To put it bluntly, any time I see a girl with a tongue ring or face piercing I think of oral sex. I’m sorry, in my book that’s just a clear sign of freakdom. I take one look at that silver stud (or any other color) in a woman’s mouth and I imagine her being down for some Lil’ Kim action where she’ll “throw lips to the shit and handle it like a real b*tch.” Sorry, I think you're a freak—Not that there's anything wrong with that.
No, I’m not saying all women with piercings are loose or anything like that, but I just get a strong feeling that they’re more in tune with their sexuality. The same goes for a chick with that little spot underneath her lip (what's that area called again?) pierced. Seeing that makes me think, “Uh, huh, she's a freak. Shit, she might even like girls.” Sorry, I think you're a freak—Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Tongue rings raise even more freak flags for me. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say this, but most men probably think the same thing when they see a woman playing with a stud in her tongue: If she was wild enough to get her tongue pierced, she must plan on using it in some "fellatious" way. Sorry, I think you're a freak—Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Why is it that women with tongue rings can’t resist playing with it in public? Come on, you know every man within eyeshot is watching. Do you really have to sit there twirling it around like that? You must get off on the attention or something. Please don’t say it’s for show because any woman with a tongue ring and says she doesn't use it is a bald faced liar. Sorry, I think you're a freak—Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Now dudes with any of the above piercing are just as bad, if not worse. The only difference is I don't think you're a freak; I think you're gay. Far be it for me to be homophobic or a homoaccusiastic, but oral piercings look suspect on guys. Remember when Tyrese first came out and had that under-the-lip piercing like Ne-Yo? Sorry, homie, that shit looks mad gay—Not that anything is wrong with that.
I gave crazy side-eye to my twin Malcolm Jamal Warner, who had a tongue ring a few years back. FAIL! It gave him a real heavy lisp that sounded and looked like Antoine Meriwether and Blaine Edwards from that In Living Color skit, Men on Films. Basically, if you're not a male stripper, escort, porn star or gay man, I don't think any dude should have oral piercing of any kind. Sorry, homie, that shit looks mad gay—Not that anything is wrong with that.
If you or your friends have an oral piercing and wonder why I keep staring, now you know. Maybe I'm wrong about my assumption. Perhaps you're just an everyday person who has normal missionary sex with the lights out, but as long as you have that metal stud in or around your mouth I’m gonna think you're a freak (or gay)—Not that anything is wrong with that.
Honestly, what’s the first thought that comes to mind when you see someone with a tongue ring? Have you ever dated someone with a tongue ring or had one yourself? Did it enhance or hinder kissing? Was there a difference on oral acrobatics? Ladies, do you find tongue rings on a guy sexy? What would you do if your boyfriend came home with his tongue pierced? Fellas, do you think women with tongue rings are sexy? Do you think girls with tongue rings are freakier? Would you approve of your wife getting a tongue ring?
Speak your piece…
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