I Don’t Date Girls In Gangs (Sorry, Sorority Sisters)

0 Posted by - August 14, 2009 - Uncategorized

sorority-dogs

Dictionary.com defines a gang as, “A group of people with compatible tastes or mutual interests who gather together for social reasons… Some gangs, but not all, have strong leadership, formalized rules, and extensive use of common identifying symbols… The activities of gangs are characterized by some level of organization and continuity over time.”

You know what that sounds like to me? A sorority or fraternity.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit my blatant and brazen ignorance when it comes to the ins and outs of sorority/fraternity life, but from what I can tell, it’s definitely not for me. From my extremely biased outsider’s perspective, it’s just seems like one big gang that runs around hazing and spanking pledges, chugging beers, pulling school pranks, and stomping the yard, which is all complimented by heavy doses of barking and “eewing.”

Maybe it’s because I didn’t go away to school or attend an HBCU, but that’s not my idea of a good time. I know, I know, frats and sororities do a lot of community service and provide lifetime membership to an association that can potentially benefit you in the “real world.” Sounds nice, I’m NOT knocking that at all. Major kudos and props, but I like the idea of free will more.

I know it sounds like I’m giving frats and sororities a bad rap, but can you really blame me? My first memory of that world was Spike Lee’s School Daze. I was just 11 years old when that movie came out (I may have actually seen it for the first time a few years later) and the images depicted of college life and the world of fraternities/sororities weren’t very flattering to my young mind and that’s what stuck with me to this day.

Half-Pint and the rest of the pledges went through immense hazing that included shaving their heads, squeezing soggy bananas in the toilet while blindfolded (so they’d think it was a doo-doo log), getting spanked, and basically losing all semblance of their dignity just to join some gang called Gamma Phi Gamma (or G-Phi-G). Then there was the issue of self-segregation based on skin color between the Wannabes and Jigaboos, who at the end of the day were all Black. If I had a choice, I’d much rather be a Jigaboo than a member of G-Phi-G.

Of course this was an amplified Spike Joint so everything was exaggerated, but the film, along with countless others that exposed sexual assaults and drug use in college, didn’t make for a positive image of fraternity/sorority lifestyle in my young mind.

Flash-forward eight years to when I was actually in college and SOME of my preconceived notions about fraternities and sororities began to manifest as reality.

It all started with my homegirl Malika. Sometime in the winter semester of our junior year she started acting funny. People would see her in the hallway and say hi, but she’d just ignore them. She stopped wearing makeup and getting her hair done. Some strange girl moved into her single dorm room and rumors began to circulate that she had become a lesbian. No one had a clue of what was going on with Malika until the end of the semester when she revealed that she had “crossed the line.”

Oh, snap, Malika just joined a gang!

Again, I’ll call ignorance on this one, but the fact that you have to lose so much of your identity and individuality to join SOME gang sororities/fraternities doesn’t sit well with me. Although she was unable to talk about the specifics of her hazing process for fear of getting jumped by fellow gang members, Malika explained that she wasn’t allowed to speak to anyone, wear makeup and had to be watched 24-7 by one of her “Big Sisters.”

All that just to be part of some “elite” group? Sorry, I’ll pass.

red_sorority

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t get what the secret hazing and branding (WTF!) has to do with all the positive aspects of joining a sorority or fraternity. In fact, a few years ago I actually tried to get some answers. Problem was I was a bit tipsy drunk and my inquisition came off a tad more ignorant than I intended.

I was out for drinks with a group of friends and my homegirl brought along two of her friends from school, Tiffany and Jasmine. Somehow or other it came up that they were part of some sorority.

In a slightly inebriated state of mind, I joked, “Which one, Zeta Theta Ziggy Marley Phi Fo Fum?”

These girls took their gang sorority membership very seriously and were in no mood for jokes about their set.

“What,” Tiffany asked, shooting me an ice grill that pierced my soul.

“I was just joking, ma,” I replied. “Let me guess, you’re a Delta.”

Oh, hell no,” Jasmine interjected. “We’re AKAs.”

The two of them proceeded to make this piercing “eewee” sound, topped off with a raised pinkie.

“What the hell is that, your gang sign,” I chuckled.

Bad move.

My side comment was perceived as blatant disrespect to Tiffany and Jasmine’s gang sorority and they let me have it.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Tiffany barked.

“You better show some respect, fool,” added Jasmine. “We are not a ‘gang.'”

By this point the ladies had risen from their bar stools and were getting all up in my face. Since my boy, who was wise enough not to get in the middle of this particular conversation, had excused himself to use the bathroom, I was on my own and outnumbered by these rabid gangbangers sorority sisters.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I pleaded. “I was only joking. Can’t we just get along like the great alcoholic speed racer Rodney King once said?”

Apparently that joke went over much better as the tension levels dropped down considerably, and the ladies couldn’t help but crack a smile.

The one thing about when I’m drunk, though, is my alter ego Taco Meat never knows when to quit while he’s ahead.

“Can I ask y’all one thing, though,” I said.

“What,” said Tiffany.

“What’s with the branding,” I began. “I mean, do the girls get branded, too. I’ll be damned if I let somebody put ‘Grade A Beef” on my arm just because.”

Although it was a genuine question from the heart (the branding part at least), it was the final straw. Rather than even pay my drunken ass any more attention, Jasmine grabbed Tiffany by the arm.

“Come on, girl,” she said. “Let’s go before we have to hurt this boy.”

Needless to say I escaped unscathed but it marked the pinnacle of my love/hate relationship with this unknown way of life. So it’s not really fair to say I don’t date girls in gangs sororities (I definitely got love for y’all if you got love for me), it’s just after conversations like these they rightfully have no interest in dating me. :P

Am I the only one that doesn’t fully understand the dynamics of sororities and fraternities? For anyone that’s an actual members, can you explain the meaning behind the branding? What are the benefits of joining a frat or sorority? Do you feel that movies like School Daze paint an unfair picture of your lifestyle? For outsiders such as myself, do you wonder what the big deal is about joining? Do you feel that some people in these organizations act as if their better than others? Would you consider joining a frat or sorority if you didn’t have to go through any hazing? Would you have a problem dating someone that was heavy into a frat or sorority? Do you think it’s fair to call sororities/fraternities gangs?

Speak your piece…

UPDATE: “Why Greek Life Isn’t For Me (Let’s Agree to Disagree)”

large_skeewee

***60 BLOGS IN 30 DAYS COMING SOON***

There’s only eight days left until Ramadan, which signals the return of my annual 30 in 30 Blog Marathon. No food. No liquor. No cursing. No negativity. No sex. No Wet Wednesdays. Just two blogs a day for 30 days straight, as I embark on a spiritual, mental and physical journey that begins anew Saturday, August 22, 2009 at sunrise.

Also, don’t forget voting is still open for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards until September. Tell a friend to tell a friend to vote NWSO by CLICKING HERE.

  • Belle

    Son! You’re about to get lynched for this blog.

    – Belle

  • arlene…blackorchid

    wooooooooowwwwwwwwwww. doesn’t read like you honestly have a want to learn about any of the organizations. probably why you get that reaction from ppl who are in them.

  • http://girlshesgottahaveit.blogspot.com/ Jennifer

    Oooh, Ans. I smell trouble, trouble with this one! Even when I ask my friends questions about Greek life, they are always very long winded in explaining things because they are so passionate about it. So be prepared for the verbal lashing in which you are about to receive with this one!

    I’m an outsider like you. I stayed in the city for college so I never had that on-campus, traditional Greek experience. But we did have some small chapters on-campus and you could always tell when rushing/hazing was underway because of people’s strange behaviors. Like, why are you circling the 3rd floor of the library 30 times, in complete silence, wearing all black and combat boots? I guess it’s just that deep for some people. My homeboy’s in a frat and got branded and I almost threw up looking at the end result of that. Don’t people brand animals? I’m just saying…

    But from what I understand, Greek organizations go back years and years and there are lots of esteemed and well-connected people who are a part of them. You’re in it for life when you join and lots of opportunities may arise from just being a member.

  • http://iamgvg.blogspot.com GVG

    i’m going to enjoy this. You know you done fucked up right? You know that right? LOL

  • Manhattan Chic

    i so agree w/ belle because these so called gangs are like a cult. smh its a damn shame i believe from my experience in north carolina that they break u down to nothn and build u up to be someone else. its quite strange as to why anyone would want to join besides who wants to pay for friends and to be part of an organization. thats just my opinion but i soo agree w/ us nwso! i dont do gangbangers who think for a whole and not as indivduals. (now this isnt all of them but enough of you spoiled it for the rest of yall)

  • Manhattan Chic

    and i wish they would shut up w/ the howling and hooting like animals..what is the point. why do you represent so hard and for what?? and i know someone is gonna try to explain but it doesnt matter, i think greek life is a waste of time..

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Belle
    LOL

    @Arlene

    My brother is actually in a frat, don’t know which one. But like I said/wrote I call ignorance on this one—right or wrong. From my experiences it’s like joining the military, police force, or any other gang… You lose sense of identity. Again, that’s just my perception NOT saying it’s the fact. And not going away to school or to HCBU I just don’t get the stepping etc and oh HELL NAH to the branding.

  • sohoissooverated

    let the Kappas Sigmas Zeta Beta Phis SGRHos start boycotting NWSO right about now!

    It maybe a NYC thing but i truly dont understand sororities and frats. I truly think its a college thing that us ppl from up North (or at least) NYC get. Greek life isnt hot in NYC the way it is in the South. Im all for brothers and sister forming bonds and doing something for the community, children, other poor countries, etc. But the initiation, hazing, and branding blows my mind.

    I recently went to a panel at Brooklyn College, where I was enlightened by the Sigma brothers about the differences in Greek Life & Gang Life. Good Shit…but still i might never pledge. I think i can form lifelong bonds with other females without “skiiiiiiii-ing and suuuuuwooooo-ing”

    One of my AKA girls told me “small” things she had to do get in such as….Stealing food from the grocery store to make her big sisters dinner. But I was also told of the benefits, She went to study abroad in China and the AKA paid that expense…..IDK to each his/her own

    btw….whats up with yall starting yall line in the middle of a a party on the dance floor? and at weddings? Its annoying.

  • http://www.thesimplecomplication.blogspot.com Miss BB

    Though your last paragraph has a lot of questions, they actually seem like back-handed insults to those in them. Somehow I don’t get the idea that you really care to hear the positive sides; it actually seems like you just want to express your distaste for them. That’s fine too but there’s a way to do it. You can just not understand them and actually people who are in fraternities and sororities (self included if I actually knew you) would be more inclined to tell you. This “gentle” bash? You’ll get the same response the AKAs you met gave you.

    I learned long ago not to get myself worked up over peoples’ often harsh opinions on fraternities and sororities (when all they’ve ever done is watch School Daze or assume what goes on) because that serves no purpose. No matter what I/we say, your opinion will remain the same. So, that’s that! I do hope you get some responses that will help you out and that you’ll be open enough to listen to them and not just combat them with your [possibly] “strong” opinions.

    I’m getting lengthy but let me say THIS: While I love them too, Deltas and AKAs aren’t the only sororities that exist. I’m sure they’re the most well known to you and perhaps the company you keep, but there ARE two more. I’m a very proud ZETA (I’ll let any SGRhos come rep them selves)!!

    *soooo not going back to edit so I hope everything makes sense*

  • Peajez

    I’m with you Ans I know several AKA’s, Delta’s, sigma’s , Omega’s, Kappa’s etc, most of my mom side is apart of the Greek life including my mother but I won’t say which ones. I do love the community itu service that they provide for their community but I must say I still don’t hav any desire at all to apart of it. I won’t judge those who decode to be apart of the Greek life but I’ll just say it’s not for me. And as far as the branding goes, what I been told it’s like getting a tat which basically signifies their dedication, iv never seen a woman with a brand tho, only men.And yeah beware u might get cursed out abot this blog lmao, but I’m sure you don’t really care =)

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Manhattan Chick

    Hear you on first comment, we’re eye to eye for most part.

    As for the second point/comment, I’m sur it’s not a complete waste of time. From what I’ve heard from friends once the college years are gone and the hazing days are long gone (even then too) there’s plenty of community work etc, but I guess it gets over shadowed by the flare of everything else. Especially in the movies.

    Tyler Perry need to do a movie on that… Then again, maybe not, he kinda drops the ball in the depth department. LOL

  • Manhattan Chic

    @sohoissooverrated- LMAO…amen to that

    @nwso…. lol at tyler perry

  • http://www.thesimplecomplication.blogspot.com Miss BB

    Oh, I’m sorry one more thing:

    People who lose their full identities after joining their respective fraternity/sorority had no REAL identity before they joined and ONLY joined to become “John/JANE the [insert org here].” I can’t stand lame ass fraternity/sorority folk like that – and I know PLENTY. By joining you are to bring who YOU are to the organization – they should never change you. If anything, they just add a new element.

    I’m gonna post the link to your blog on my FB page – I know my friends will have lots to say (hope they won’t be too harsh). Cool?

  • sohoissooverated

    @ NWSO yesssssss Tyler Perry should do a movie (it will make money but it will lack depth but thats another topic for another blog) or maybe Mara Brock Akil (creator of Girlfriends & The Game) should do a show on it…I mean why not, we have all these high school shows (Gossip Girl, 90210, NYC Prep)

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Miss BB

    Sorry they came off as backhanded insults, wasn’t the intention. Just trying to cover both sides of debate. Those in that an understand and those outside that don’t.

    And actually, I don’t think I have a distaste for them, I just don’t get the hazing and “perceived” mob mentality. I’m all for the community work, but like I wrote I don’t see what the hazing, branding, stomping etc has to do with the other.

    I was be facetious with the post, but definitely interested in knowing what’s up with the branding in particular. Personally that just disturbs me and I liken to cattle branding or slavery. But if someone explained the significance and it was something that made sence, i’d respect it even though I wouldn’t be down to get one.

    Oh and as far as just mentioning Deltas and AKAs that’s all I could think of off top of my head. No offense, I know there’s a whole host of different groups and chapters etc, but that’s not my world. Like if i mentioned street gangs I’d reference Bloods and Crips and wouldn’t no much more beyond that.

    love is love

  • la negrita

    Ut oh. Miss BB wanna be startin somethin!

    Bookmarked.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ Miss BB

    all good. Yeah, I’m sure not everyone loses their identity. My point more so was to the example of my friend that had to cut off all her friends and family and have some girl live in her small ass dorm room. Then back to School daze, they had to shave their head. Back when I had locks there’s no way I would change my personal appearance for the POSSIBILITY to be part of a group.

    I can’t get a guarantee or something. LOL

  • Miss Nikks

    1. The title of this post alone was enough to send me into hysterics.

    2. I didn’t know the members took it so seriously as to want to do you harm. (i’m in Canada, we don’t have those forms of “gangs”)

    3. @sohoissooverated I agree Mara Brock Akil could do a great great show with this subject matter as the storyline. :)

    4. You’re going on my blogroll. I love it!!!!

  • College Chick

    I attend a “traditional” campus with a very active greek system. I am one of the VERY few on my campus who has not pledged and with no interest in pledging. I agree with everything that’s said in this post. Sure I am not on the “inside” but I am close enough to it to see that what was said in this post is pretty darn close to the real thing…at least in my opinion…

    I have seen the system change people, who let the org define their personality. The entire pledge process BUGS me out! I hear the things that go on and it just makes absolutely no sense….How could you go through that process one minute and then turn around and call those people your brothers or sisters???

    My brand manager says that point blank, those orgs are for people who might have gotten a late start at this networking thing, don’t quite know what they want to do in life, or don’t know who they are… I agree some what but I could go on forever.

    POINT of this is… KUDOS to you for being brave enough to post this!! Be prepared for the worse though, I expect these comments to get BRUTAL.

  • Q

    Im not greek…but I think there is some ignorance within many greek organizations today bc of changes…but understanding the history of black greeks on how they developed in the past there’s nothing to do but respect them on why they were developed..it’s like saying you don’t respect your ancestors…

    i don’t feel like giving too much details on why they were…bc i feel like im writing alot already lol…but do know they are the reason why many african americans made it through college when very few attended college in the early 1900’s…it was like a cult but also a support system and protection from whites

    If you do some research you will find some interesting facts…Martin Luther King was a Alpha…while Coretta Scott king was a AKA

    But it has dramatically change today…and have been replace with some ignorance today especially when it comes to many pledging processes, that I can agree with..

  • arlene…blackorchid

    ans, ur brother is in a frat but u dont’ know which one? sorry, that isn’t cool. if it was important enough for him to join (*disclaimers* and y’all are close and he truly reps his org, some folk don’t for whatever reason), you should actually remember it. if y’all ain’t close – well that’s another blog for another day.

  • KiKiSGrHo

    Coretta Scott King, Michelle Obama are honorary AKAs….They didnt pledge not to sure about MLK

  • http://www.thesimplecomplication.blogspot.com Miss BB

    @NWSO: I’m familiar with your blog [via Belle] so in general, I didn’t think you were being intentionally facetious. In MY world and during my process, everything had a reason and served a purpose. I can validate everything. Our organizations have unfortunately received a bad rap for the extreme actions of others who took the idea of “power” (which is so dumb and an absolute example of people who were lame before they joined) but our work and our positivity is still very much prevalent for us…and people who reap the benefits of that hard work and brotherhood/sisterhood.

    Branding…hmmm. I can’t say much about it. It is very personal for each organization (I’m assuming but I know it is for mine) so I can’t and won’t speak on them. Like lots of other information, some things are just personal – just like other social organizations where only members are privy to it.

    Stomping – are you talking about stepping? Well, stepping goes way back and it’s a tradition. We’re also non-profit orgs and have to find ways to stay funded. So those of us who have dope step teams (in undergrad, my chapter was THAT team) compete to earn some dollars.

    Sidebar: I can’t believe I’m REALLY not getting upset on the low. Usually, I try really hard and though I might not display it, I usually do get upset. I’m actually NOT so maybe that’s me just getting over harsh and sometimes unfounded criticisms…or maybe that’s a partial kudos to you, NWSO. :-)

  • http://www.thesimplecomplication.blogspot.com Miss BB

    @KiKi Michelle Obama, according to AKAs I know, never formally accepted that invitation. If any AKAs comment that know differently, correct me if I’m wrong but DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER – I’m just saying what your Sorors told me. LOL!

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @arlene

    Well, we’re 10 years apart but I don’t speak Greek so all the letters sound the same to me so it’s hard to remember since I’m not in that world. He could tell me a million times and I’d probably forget.

    But we spoke at some point after he had joined and he said he didn’t have to do any severe hazing so that was my main concern. It’s a White frat, i know that much

  • Belle

    Sorry. I’m back.

    You’re dissing something you don’t understand, but as a journalist FIRST, before you are a blogger, you shoulda done your research on this one. Understand what it is before you publicly slam it. d

    What your offhandedly dismissing is a LONG STANDING AA tradition of accomplishment (over a 100 years for 2 of them), service and brother/sisterhood. There is no alleged to the community service, it just is. MLK Jr. was an Alpha man for crying out loud. Jesse Jackson is an Omega man. The first lady is an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman. I think we’d all be hard pressed to call any of those folk followers with no identity.

    And if you check the backgrounds of a good portion of the Black women and men who aren’t nationally recognized, you’ll find plenty of identity and accomplishment, and trailblazing too. As always, bad apples stand out. But you’re overlooking a TON of good to point out the bad.

    You’re misunderstanding is partially a NYC thing, it’s partially a Caribbean thing (where a HUGE percentage of the NYC Blacks hail from.) Black sororities and frats are an AA tradition. From what I’ve asked my WI friends about, there is no equivalent to these organizations in their culture.

    And no, I’m not in a sorority. I take issue with the uninformed diss of organizations that have had a huge impact and hand in advancing AAs and my culture.

    Oh, and my understanding is that no one is forced to branded, that is a personal decision. My ex was a Que– best known for branding— and he WANTED to do it. It made him happy. But he wasn’t forced.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Miss BB

    Cool thanx for some of that insight. See, I’m open for discussion.

    WHOOPS on the stomping. Guess I got that from the movie and thought it was interchangeable. My bad. Duly noted. :)

    And glad we can have a civil discussion on it.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Belle

    Maybe I’m biased because I wrote it LOL, but I didn’t think I was dissing anyone or organization. I merely broke down my personal experiences and introductions to the world of fraternities and sororities. School Daze, my homegirl in college who went through hazing and my drunken/asshole exchange with the two AKAs. Just mapping out my journey.

    Yeah, I know there’s community work and other elements of positivity attached with being in a frat and sorority, but it’s still not for me based on what I know of them. Not for the end result, but the parts I highlighted, which don’t meet my criteria for group activities. I.e the hazing, occasional group mentality, and optional branding.

    Regardless of the positive work that these organizations do, I personally wouldn’t want to be hazed or given the option to be branded to do it.

    But more importantly, you raise the same point that I did. I didn’t go to a HCBU or even away to school, and I’m from NY and went to school in NY, also from Caribbean heritage, so all this is culturally foreign to me.

    But my intention wasn’t to dis any sorors or frats (my brother is in one) and still don’t feel I did (if it’s taken that way my bad), my issue is more so with the parts that get highlighted most. Hazing, paddling, (optional) branding, etc. which aren’t my cup of tea regardless of who is in whatever frat or sorority. Everything else is all good with me, although step shows don’t do it for me. But that’s just my personal tastes.

  • Mark B. Esq.

    Fraternity, Clique, Gang, Family, etc. All similar however the outcomes from each vary…

  • Belle

    School Daze was a movie.

    as with most things about Black culture in America, only the “sexy” stories are publicized, ie the dysfunction, in order to discredit them. hip hop isn’t all Soldier Boy and snap music, but dangit if that ain’t what’s on the radio everyday.

    there is some bad in ANY organization from government to religion, but as a whole i think frats/sororities do more good than harm.

    no harm done. I hope I did not do any damage either.

  • Erlinda M

    @Taco Meat (LOL) I’m just joking
    Okay, I’m a Kappa Diamond and I can identify with what you feel because I’ve met some sisters that take their membership beyond dedication…almost to obsession and graduating to stupidity.

    I love my soro sisters and my frat brothers with my heart. When I pledged, it was fun and a real bonding moment. I never got branded (I will not scar my body for any group or person other than to give birth via c-section). I was never humiliated or denigrated and I would not have stood for that. I chose my sorority because of what they stood for in general and with in the community and on campus. And I liked the sisters who were already members.
    Our “big brothers” were gentlemen (well, most of them LOL) and they treated us like queens.
    Some people need something…groups; other people in order to feel defined within themselves and life. People like that end up breaking the bonds of their sorority rather than binding them.
    The females you met were obviously on some sort of mission…mind trip. I would have asked them what dope they were on or coming off of because they sounded and behaved like crack heads…female thugs.
    Sisters like that will eventually run into the wrong brother…that brother with the “O’Dog” alter ego who will act thuggish right along with them and then they’re going to get hurt for jumping in someone’s face over something stupid.

    SMH

    All of us – Hell, I dare to say not 70 percent of us act like that over our sorority ties. I would have kept it cool until I knew whether you were playing or not…and even then I would have dealt with you very lightly aka lady-like.

    Those females aren’t AKA’s, they’re idiots masquerading as AKA’s. Big difference. I know quite a few AKA’s and they’re pretty cool. I’m sure they would agree that these females were tripping.

    It’s unfortunate you had this experience. Next time the Kappa Diamonds/Sweethearts and Kappa Alpha Psi have a frat ball or block party, I’ll be sure to invite you. That will likely change your opinion.

    I dont believe you have any hatred or whatever towards frats or sororities….just a really bad encounter with members of one.
    People who lose their individual identities after joining a frat or sorority had no identity beforehand. Joining a group should not alter who you are or turn you into the devil incarnate unless you were a shell…or the devil incarnate before you joined.

    Let’s try and remember that these are social groups not Zulu Nation or the Latin Kings or La Cosa Nostra. Sheesh!

    I had to agree with your analysis on this to a degree. I am a Delta and while I would not have reacted that way, I can’t speak for everyone. But not all sororities or frats act like this, trust me.
    Some of these people do act like cults and their members, like Manson Family members.Some of us are young when we go over, but if you’re strong minded and a healthy individual when you join, you’ll know where to draw the line just as LE described.
    School Days, as a matter of fact, brought back memories for me. Thanks for trip down memory lane! I’m looking forward to your next article already!

  • http://www.twitter.com/bklynmade Melissa Danielle

    Hilarious!

  • arlene…blackorchid

    imma leave post this alone after this comment i hope:

    ans, if your brother joined a “white” fraternity, he doesn’t have the same lifelong affiliation like the historically AA ones (unless a part of an honor society like phi beta kappa). from my understanding, the “white” fraternities and sororities treated frat life as just a social part of college and thats it. These organizations don’t really foster a major connection amongst their members after graduation. They treated like a memory of another affiliation they had during those 4 or more years, kinda like being in a certain dorm, or floor. minority frats and sororities have a different stance treating the membership taken in college as a lifelong commitment, affiliation and participation.

    no, i am not greek. however, my best friends from college are affiliated as well as two family members (one aa sorority, one latina sorority). i grew up in a household similar to yours (NYC, foreign born parents). since i didn’t grow up with the history of what those organizations were about, i learned about them and research it when i went to college because I wanted to. I didn’t attend an HBCU, I went to a predominantly majority school 2 hrs outside of NYS.

    Essentially, what i’m drawing from your responses (and the initial post that started this whole commentary) was you were never interested in the fraternity thing and never took the time to learn about it, you just took what you heard and let those unfounded statements validate your initial feelings. You never really chose to give the orgs any chance to learn the positive side or if the rumors and negative things were true and continue to vocalize and perpetuate the negative mentality towards those organizations.

    i c/s belle and ms bb’s comments and hope I was able to articulate my thoughts as well as they did.

    and ans, u ain’t slick :P. this will probably end up one of your most popular blogs.

  • http://abigbuttandasmile.com/ The Single Black Woman

    But you set out ot be offensive. You knew you’d offend by what you wrote…so your “I don’t understand why anyone would be offended…” diatribe doesn’t cut it.

    You are willfully ignorant about something you don’t want to know about, but take umbrage when someone takes issue with your disparaging something so important to them.

    People have repeatedly pointed out to you that there is more to sororities and fraternities then hazing, loss of identity and branding, yet you continue to harp on those aspects.

    If you don’t like them so much…why waste the space. This was just mean for shits and giggles (and blog hits). I’m not even a member of a sorority and I’m offended for them.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO