#04 Who’s Gonna Take the Weight? (Still/I Rose)

Welcome to the close of Day 2 of Ramadan and my 60 Blogs in 30 Days marathon. Honestly, I was more prepared for yesterday than I was today. I woke up at 5:20 disoriented and super tired from a day in the pool.

Still/I rose.

After praying for an eventful day and giving thanks for my waking breath, of course. I jumped into my workout to get the blood flowing and played a game of beat the clock as I wolfed (remember that term, kiddies?) down my breakfast and several tall glasses of water for the day.

Then came my decision over which church service I should attend, 8am, 10am or noon. I chose option No. 2.

Muslims are required to attend mosque, but since I am not and doing my own version of Ramadan (slowly but surely) I decided to attend church regularly during this season of fasting. I made the same declaration last year, but only managed to make it to service one time out of the intended four. I promised to take this year more seriously.

Still/I rose.

If I’m really trying to be serious about this journey I can’t let others hold me back. My reason(s) for only making it to church that first Sunday of Ramadan last year was because I couldn’t get a ride.

Lame, yes, I know.

That’s why I made the decision to go religiously (no pun intended) each week of this year’s 30-day fast. Sunshine or rain, ride or no ride.

Following years (maybe it was a decade) of absence I started attending church sporadically about two years ago. My good friend Michelle had been inviting me off and on until I finally accepted her offer to attend what most Brooklynites refer to as the “hip-hop church” because there’s a youth-friendly vibe to the sermons and I have to say I enjoyed it. Unfortunately, though, it’s been several months since I last attended service.

Although there are churches around my way, I don’t know them so I was prepared to make the trek to one I was introduced to ride or no ride. Besides, who said church can’t be “fun?” As expected, I had no ride this morning.

Still/I rose.

Believe it or not, I don’t like rolling to social settings solo, so holding true to my promise to attend each week—even if it was by myself—was a big step for me.

I walked into the sweltering hot church and grabbed a seat in the empty end of an open pew. Rather than be anti-social and sit near the end, I moved down towards the center of the aisle next to an older gentleman and his wife. Another gentleman and later a female filled in the rest of the row to my left.

Honestly, the service had a whole lot of singing, which isn’t necessarily my favorite thing in the world. After 12 years of Catholic school I was used to it, but the back-to-back-to-back Gospel hits seemed excessively longer than the last time I attended. Once that was over, the woman behind the pulpit introduced the guest sermon giver, Rev. Courtney (sorry, I can’t recall her hyphenated last name).

I must say, she gave a resounding sermon on weight vs. waiting that told the story of a woman who was afflicted with a severe deformation that kept her back locked in a 90-degree angle for 18 long years. Despite her affliction, which Rev. Courtney believed was due to the weight of this woman’s stresses and troubles on her shoulders, the hunched over lady maintained her faith in God.

She never stopped believing. She never stopped attending church. Finally, all of her waiting paid off when Jesus was preaching at the synagogue one day and noticed the woman. He laid hands on her and after 18 long years of waiting the woman was healed.

Sill/She rose.

Rev. Courtney modernized the story by comparing it to an article she read on a flight about “things you can do to pass the time when waiting for the doctor.” The list included things like reading a book of short stories, checking your voicemail, watching the television set in the lounge, or take the time to make new friends.

Rev. Courtney keeps it real and said something to the effect of, “I’m sorry, but if I’m waiting for the results of that lump that was found in my breast or to hear about my child who was in a car accident, I’m not really in the mood to read a book of short stories, watch TV or to make new friends.”

Her point was that even though most of us walked into church this morning with our backs straight, we all have stresses and burdens that we bog our shoulders down emotionally. Unemployment. Failing marriage. Student loans. Mortgages. The list goes on.

As much weight as the hunched over woman carried on her shoulders, all she had to do was stay determined, remain dedicated and waited long enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Rev. Courtney acknowledged how much easier that sounded than to actually do.

The idea of just waiting around for something to happen is not a realistic option for most in this world, but I’m sure, regardless of your religious/spiritual beliefs, determination and dedication are ideals that we all can believe in.

Rev. Courtney delivered the message way more impactful and passionately in person than my written words can’t fully capture here. Regardless of that fact, I hope you were able to get the message that no matter how much weight you carry around mentally, physically or emotionally have faith that relief is around the corner in you just wait long enough—even if it’s 18 long years later.

I know I have a lot of weight on my shoulders, but I know I’ll overcome them somehow or other. Just wait and see.

When Rev. Courtney was done with her sermon…

Still/We rose.

Service always ends the same, with the reverend asking for those that felt moved by the Word to come down the aisles in a show of their faith. Several people rose from their seats and made their way forward.

Rev. Courtney’s dedication to the words she spoke this morning was powerful. I’m glad that I trooped through the rain to hear them. Unfortunately, I can’t say…

Still/I rose.

Maybe next time, though.

When was the last time you’ve been to church? Do you feel that most churches don’t speak to the young people? Have you ever been moved by the spirit during a service? Regardless of your religious beliefs, do you feel there are messages that we can apply to our every day lives? What weight are you carrying around with you emotionally and spirituality? Do you believe you have the strength to wait it out?

Speak your piece…

BONUS

Maya Angelou's "Still I Rise"