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#39 The Strength of a Woman (Single Mothers Manifesto)

Posted by NWSO • September 10, 2009 • Printer-friendly

Today is my mother’s birthday. Although she’ll rib me for not calling as much as I should, I love her dearly. This woman has done so much for me and my three siblings—all by herself—and I feel there is never enough I can do to repay her for that.

Over the course of the past 32 years, my mom has sacrificed so much for me. From putting me in private school for 12 years—especially after I refused to transfer to another school when we moved from Brooklyn to Queens in my sophomore year of high school—to always blessing me with a gift for Christmas and my birthday the following day to letting my college girlfriend move in with us when she had no place to stay to consistently offering me a hot plate of food whenever I stop by the house.

My mom is Ms. Do-It-All. She not only taught me right from wrong, but how to cook, treat a woman, tie my shoes, cross the street and the importance of education, she is my blueprint for what a woman should be. Ladies, y’all can blame her for why I’m so picky.

People always say that women are the stronger sex. Not necessarily in terms of muscle mass but mental fortitude and pain threshold. My mom is the kind of woman that will wake her 10-year-old son up in the middle of the night and say, “The baby is on the way, I’m going to drive to the hospital.”

Groggy and confused, a young NWSO asks, “Who’s driving you, mommy?”

“I’m driving myself,” she’d respond like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “I called Auntie Jessica and she’ll check on you later. I love you.”

This scene would play out two more times, as my baby brother was followed by a little sister and then another kid brother in three sequential years. If driving yourself to the hospital while in labor three separate times does not display the valor of this woman I don’t know what does.

Aside from my grandfather, there have been very few “men” in my life that have inspired me like my mother. She is my rock, my foundation and with out her I would fall. My greatest fear is that fateful day I will have to deal with your departure from this physical plane of existence.

I can’t imagine a world with out you and I won’t. Today is about celebrating your life and all that you mean to my brothers, sister and I. I’m sure I speak for them when I say, “We love you.” I just want to wish you a very happy birthday, mom.

Love eternally,

Your oldest son…

P.S.
Don’t be reading my blog, mom.

What are some of the most amazing things your mother has done for you—besides give you life, of course? How often do you thank her for all that she’s done? How often do you call/talk to your mom? Have you ever taken your mom for granted? Can you imagine what life would be like if she wasn’t there for you? Is that reality one of your biggest fears? Do you think good fathers tend to get the short end of the stick? Do you think that women are stronger than men?

Speak your piece…

Tagged as: birthday, children, grandfather, kid, love, mom

Elle

Sounds like you just described my mom - minus the 3 younger siblings though.

She is my hero. And I know I take her for granted way to often, not thanking her often enough.

I talk to her on a daily basis, and she drives me nuts equally as often. But I can't imagine life without here. Yes, I am a momma's girl.

And yes, women are definitely stronger than men, mentally, emotionally, spiritually ... on every level really with a proper work out.
MsKaos

This post brought tears to my eyes! Made me call my momma way too early and just say, I love you.

My mom and I have our moments of getting on each other's nerves, but at the end of the day I have never had a greater role model, cheerleader, confidante, and someone to love me unconditionally! I hope and pray that I will be half as good of a mother to my future offspring.

I had both parents growing up but lost my dad when I was a teenager, so losing my mom is not something I can entertain without knowing that I might need a padded cell for a while when that happens! .

Happy birthday to your mom!
Angeleyes

Wow! Your mom is amazing!! Happy Birthday mom!! Your mom proves that women are the stronger sex. I know men who stay home from work because they have the sniffles, and she drove herself to the hospital while in labor?!?! Awesome!

I have a CLOSE relationship with my mother. We work together and live together (until I get a place) and talk all the time in between. I'm a TRUE mommy's girl and don't know what I'd do without her. I often tell her what she means to me and remind her how pretty I think she is. Sometimes we disagree, but never anything serious.

My mom was also single mom to me and my younger sister, and never complained. Yeah there were times she didn't get her child support, but she never told my dad he couldn't see us because of it. We were never pawns....she saw it as a break for her to get some time to herself.

Moms are wonderful and I hope that I can be half the mom my mom is to me!!
Dc Man with a Plan

Yo, I'ma co-sign: mom's RULE! I speak to my mom at least once a week, just to holla and touch bases. I'm sure there were times during my adolescence period that I took her for granted, didn't like being restricted, didn't like her telling my DAD I had mis-behaved and really didn't like the way she swung that belt at me when she felt the need to take aggresive action...lol...But it DID all work for MY good and I love her dearly for all she did and continues to be willing to do. Dads can be cool, good role models and all that.....But MOMs are number ONE in my book
superwomen23

My mom and I aren't the best but I love her to death and would do anything for her reguardless what we go through. We don't talk that much but She gave me life and made me to b the women i am today. She tought me how to b independent and to take care of my own. I know how it feels when ur mom drove herself to da hospital when she was in labor I did it myself 3 times i am a single mom of 3 and i wouldn't change it for anything. I thank my mom 4 making me who i am today, Strong, Independent, confindent, and know how to handle my own as a single mom. I give ur mom props
Rastaman

I love my mother and my father too. The two most important people in making me the man I am today.

There is not a day in my life that my mind does not run on them, because they gave me the wherewithall to deal with all that I encounter. My mother's sayings such as "The race is not for the swift nor the battle for the strong but for those that endure." loop in my thoughts

Coupled with the quite confidence and constant support my father offered that enable me to never fold in the face of challenges. Makes me always thankful for having had parents that loved me, cared for me and hoped for me.
Mz. Ashley

Happy Birthday Ans' Mom! She sounds like a wonderful woman. My mom and I use to fight like cats and dogs when i was a teenager growing up, but she guided me to a good life. Now that I am older, she is my best friend. She has been a great role model for me and taught me how to be a WOMAN(Don't depend on anybody, how to love, ect.). I thank her so much and every now and then i will make her a card or send an email and tell her how blessed i am to have a great mom like her and a wonderful father. I am blessed to have been raised by both of them in the same house-hold all my life. I love my parents and anybody that tries to come between us, will have a hard time!
Mz. Ashley

oh is that really a pic of ya'll when you where little?
LolitaBaby

I love it.

I am THE daddy's girl, but it took my realizing that I AM my mother's daughter for me to really see how much I love my mother and learn how and why to love myself. My mom gets on my everlasting nerves sometimes, but it's strange, I love it because it's so HER. And because I've picked up so many of her mannerisms and habits, I've learned to just accept these things, about her and about myself.

I don't consider my mom the bomb just because of what she's done for me, but also because of what she's done for herself. I think a lot of parents underestimate how much more their actions matter than their rules. My mom taught me about the importance of self-preservation.

The most important thing my mother has taught me is to BE REAL. Both she and my dad have always and forever encouraged me and my siblings to have to balls to feel what we feel, and have the knowledge to express that in a healthy way.

I couldn't imagine life without my mom. I thank God everyday for her because even through allllllll the crap she has and always will hold it down, and that matters more to me than the fact that she thinks I have a smart mouth or I think that she should leave her boyfriend. My mom taught me how to love because she loves me despite my short comings.

I love that wacky woman.
Ameretta

Wow! It's been a while since I posted!

Your mom was an amazing woman. She drove herself to the hospital during labor? I can't even drive myself home if I had menstrual cramps!

I do agree that women are a stronger sex. My mom is extrememly strong. She put me in catholic school for 12 yrs, then a private college for 4 1/2 year! (Didn't finish on time!) She is my rock!! I'm the only child for my mom and I look at her strength and I never noticed my mom cry, when my father couldn't pay my school fees or couldn't come by for Christmas.

I always tell peopel my mother is the manager and founder of my fan club! She's my number one fan! I'm so extemely blessed that God picked my mother for me! My nickname for my mom is "LoveSponge" mostly because she soaks up all my love!

Great article!
http://www.nosinglemamadrama.wordpress.com Ms. No Single Mama Drama

Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with a gentic heart condition, HCM.

When my mother found out, she jumped on a plane, leaving California for Atlanta to come check up on her baby.

I like to call my mom Ms. Macgyver because she can do anything--and when she got to my house, she did every home-improvement project she could think of.

I love-ed(lol) my single mama, too.

Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous

First of all Happy b-day to your Mom...now you have just descibed my mother for me there are 6 of us and she has done a wonderful job.. who can ask for anyone else other than God of course but their is only one mother and no one can amount up to that.. I appreciate everything mine has done for me and still does for me... so i thank God for her and the things she has taught me in becoming a Stong Woman myself so to speak.. You are a fortunate man to have a Strong mother that has done and raised you properly...tell your mom you LOVE her Today!!!
queenmia1031

My mom and I aren't super tight, but she is a DAMN GOOD MOTHER!! She went to school, worked, and raised my brother and I on her own. Being a mom myself I understand even more of how tenacious and determined my mother was. There is nothing but respect for the work she put in raising us. The tears she cried are some of the same ones I weep. There is a bond that I now share with her that is irreplaceable and indescribable.

Do good fathers get the short end of the stick when it comes 2 gettin' their parenting props? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! I am proud to have a couple single fathers as friends, and they take excellent care of their DAUGHTERS! Yes folks, men are capable of taking care of their girl children. Big ups 2 all the parents out there handling their biz 4 their kids!!!
CB

I am definitely a momma's girl and proud of it. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for my mom if she asked or if I knew she needed. Like many of the posts here my mom raised me and my two younger sisters single-handedly. My dad was in and out of our lives barely giving child support but my mom made sure we always had food, clothes and shelter. She made sure we went to school, helped us with college, while getting her 2 masters degrees at the same time.

So now it's my turn to give back to her... whether it's a vacation in Europe, a fur coat, whatever it is that her heart desires my sisters and I find a way to make it happen for her because she deserves it... when others gave up on us she never did so for that reason alone I will do my best to do whatever I can to keep a smile on her face.

I'll always love my momma, she's my favorite girl!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marthaquintero jenn perez

Tears are flowing... U hit deep.. I moved in with mami n papi three yrs ago- when she was dx with brain cancer.. I could never repay her for being such and incredible mom, role model, grandma.. I do the best that I can. Now I am Her advocate.. I take care of her.. Explain things over and over due to her short term memory loss.. Walk, talk, and Love her.. Now battling her third and hardest recurrence-- I am trying to spend even more time with her because now we truly don't know how long we have her.. And if that fateful day comes when her spirit is too strong for her body-- I will be the best parent, daughter, sister and aunt I could be..with me- my mom will live on
Jwana

I have never posted before but this post hit me especially hard because my Mom is no longer here with me. My Mom was my best friend and she understood me on a level that I didn't even understand. I never knew what the phrase meant "I'd give anything for one more day" until she passed away. Now, I would give anything for just one more day with her. One more day to tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me. Fortunatley I was there when she passed away and I was able to hold her hand as she went to be with her Maker. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her and on a particularly rough day I have to stop myself from picking up the phone to call her. I talked to my Mom everday regardless of how I was feeling or what she had said to me that I did not like. Just to hear her voice was the most comforting thing in the world to me. So for all of you that still have your Mom...Please let her know that she is special and that the world is a better place because of mother's that care. My sincere prayer is that I can be as good a mother to my two boys as she was to me.

Happy Birthday to your Mom...
Ari

My mom is the best thing that ever happened to me she tells me all the time ( I was strong because I had to be, just thank GOD that you have a strong black man standing beside you, because their isn't a really mother on this earth that wants to be strong by herself. Are mothers stronger than fathers emotionally? MOST DEF
Mz. VooDoo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!
GV1584

Happy birthday to your Mum! (yes, I'm spelling it the British way! lol)

OMG I am in shock about the driving to hospital part! She really is one strong lady! I'm fortunate to be able to say that both my parents played an equal role in my upbringing but my mother was definitely the driving force of the family! I cannot imagine life without her and I know that my father would not have achieved half of what he has today without her. (That's not to take anything away from him! lol) Her absence from my life is definitely one of my biggest fears. My sister, mum and I have always been like 3 best friends - totally inseparable and our mother would do absolutely ANYTHING for us.

I have ALWAYS had a special admiration for single mothers. My aunt is the only single mother in my extended family and I have phenomenal respect for her after I saw the way she brought up her two kids so successfully. Their wedding day speeches brought me to tears when they did their little tributes to her. So I definitely salute all those single mothers out there.
http://www.femmixx.com Tacchelle Shamash Wilkes

Thanks for sharing Ans! You have an awesome mom!
http://www.femmixx.com Tacchelle Shamash Wilkes

Oh yes and tell your mom I said have a blessed birthday!
Ms P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANS' MOMMA!!!!!!!!!! I am truly moved by this post. What a tribute. I always say no one will love ya like your Momma!

I am a Cancer & they say we have a special connection to our Mothers. My Mom & I are born a day apart & we are extremly close. I talk to her every day, and sometimes more. She has major health challenges now so I am starting to see how she is aging & that our time is even more precious. I have a good friend whose Mom has Alzheimers so she no longer recognizes her. My friend says that sometimes she just longs to have a conversation with her Mom. Wow. I also have quite a few friends who lost their mothers as young girls. I cannot imagine that void. Nor can I imagine my child growing up without me to guide her.

I am also a single Mom & while I don't like being SuperWoman I make it happen for me & mine. I do it because I can. I do it because I must. I do it because I love my child more than anything. Mommas are special, special people. Yeah, we rock!!!:)
M.L.

My Mother is the Best. My Dad & Her Adopted me when i was 6 week's old. Know that's love. She had lost a son some year's back. And it was a huge void in her life that she needed to fill. And she got me. Im blessed to have her. And happy late Birthday to Ans Mom.
M.L.

And i could be out their doing stupid things. Like robbing people. Doing drug's. But My Mom stayed on Me. With the Bible & the Belt. Lolz
M.L.

And My Mom tell's me all the Time. I need some Grandbabies. Im like not yet. Haha. But it's all good.
Kissing624

I admire, I adore and I love mom! I respect my mother to the fullest. My mother is schizophrenia and I know that was a challenge raising two girls as a single parent. If you know anything about being schizophrenic your mind comes and goes! She taught me how to be the women I'am today! I'am blessed!

I myself is a single parent and been though it all, and I know single parents, especially women are surviors, they can make anything happen! Happy Birthday to your Mom!
Stay High Mama

Sweet Post! Happy Belated Birthday To Your Mom!

Of course, there are weak women just as there are weak men in the world but in general I
have to agree women are the stronger sex for a mulititude of reasons.

Who but a woman can bear the pain of childbirth and smile with sincere love, joy and excitement afterwards?

Who but a woman can endure a man's B.S. and stick with him through thick and thin, cut his tired self off when she's done all she can, start over and come back like shining like a supernova?

Who but a woman and smile and cut you at the same time, send you on your way scratching your head as she wishes you a blessed day?

Who but a woman?

Now usually, I prefer to play the diplomat but you caught me on a good, firery day, NWSO. lol

NO WAY...most men could NOT deal with the things that we endure as mothers, in the workplace, in the street, and maintain the level of responsibility that we do. If anyone bails it is a man, hence the reason why so many single mothers are head of the house. It's not that we are superwoman and WANT to run everything all the time but when there's a job to be done, always bet on a woman to handle it. It's what we do. Props to all the women who do it with grace and style! And props to my mama for teaching me how to cuss somebody out without cussing.

I needed to vent all that. Thanks! lol.
FLORA

I LUV IT... IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES, I TRY TO BE ALL THAT FOR MY KIDS AND MORE... THEY R MY LIFE... MY MOTHER AND I HAVE ARE UPS AND DOWNS BUT MY LIFE WOULD NOT BE NOTHIN WITH OUT HER.. AND WHEN THAT DAY COMES I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO!!!
jacki reid

I have been a single mother for 3 years now and i have to say that I am blessed that God choose me as a vessel for my daughter to come through I lost four boys before her. I feel that I owe her every opprotunity that God has granted me to give to her. That is why I have worked 2 jobs and finished college to show her and prove that she is worth all the that I can give she is truely a blessing. She owes me nothing she never asked to be here My ex husband and I wanted her and there for we owe her.