#42 Am I Self-Absorbed? (Questioning My Purpose)

I’d like to think of myself as a pretty decent person. Seriously, who doesn’t? But as I go through this period of personal reflection during Ramadan I’ve begun to take hard looks at my actions and, more importantly, myself.

If you follow me on Twitter or we’re “friends” on MySpace, BlackPlanet or FaceBook, which is linked to my Twitter feed, you know that I use these sites to promote the blog. For the most part, it’s worked to keep people in the loop regarding the day’s topic(s) and draw in new readers.

But at what cost?

I’m infamous for “tagging” people on my FaceBook notes. So much so that I even made a FaceBook group called “Anslem Stop Tagging Me In FB Notes” as a gag a few months ago. There are currently 111 members.

For those that don’t know, “tagging” is FaceBook’s way of alerting someone that they’ve been mentioned in something that you’ve posted. In my case, one of my notes, which are daily teasers for the blog. However, I tend to “tag” people I think might be interested in the post or sometimes just whoever’s name popped in my head randomly, rather than those that have actually been mentioned.

My promotion has been met with mixed results. Some people tolerate enjoy the heads up and hustle, while others find the process annoying. In fact, a fellow writer deleted me from her friends list because of my over-promotion. I’ll admit that it stung a bit, but we’re friends in real life so a digital divorce isn’t that big of a deal.

I understand that my tagging can be annoying and I respectfully oblige anyone that hits me directly with a cease and desist order. Well, there was that one person I tagged following a don’t-tag-me email, but that was because I thought the post actually pertained to her. Needless to say I got an irate email followed by my prompt deletion.

In the wake of these instances, I’ve lessened the amount tags I do and make a conscious effort to rotate people. Still, I’ve noticed that people have mysteriously disappeared from my friends list. I’ve tried to stop, but I think I’m a tagaholic and I’m addicted to tagging.

That or, maybe I’m just self-absorbed.

Is it possible in my recession-fueled desire to build something out of this blog that I’ve become some sort of cyber bully, bombarding people with my writings from every angle.

By nature a blog is very vain. It’s just some random person sitting at a computer who thinks that their thoughts are so interesting that the world just wants to read them. That’s never been my approach to NakedWithSocksOn.com. I always found that kind of format shallow and lacking real substance, regardless of how many hits some draw.

I always thought of NakedWithSocksOn.com as a counterbalance to that. Sure, I share some of my personal experiences but it’s usually for the sake of a bigger conversation. Something to inspire, warn, entertain or teach the next person. Whether or not I always achieve that goal is up for debate.

Especially, if it turns out that I’m really self-absorbed.

I looked up the word the other day to make sure I had the proper understanding of its meaning.

Dictionary.com defines it as: “Preoccupied with one's thoughts, interests, etc.”

That sounds harmless enough. I mean, who doesn’t think about their own thoughts and interest? That’s why you’re interested in them.

I did some more searching and landed on UrbanDictionay.com, which was a bit more abrupt, defining it as: “A person who cannot stop thinking about themselves, and constantly reminds all others around them of their good and bad qualities.”

Is that me? Is that how I come across?

If so, that’s NotAGoodLook.com status.

I doubt very much that I’ll completely stop building my brand(s) because I believe that you have to be your own best salesman, but reading the above definitions gave me some definite food for thought.

Just because I use FaceBook and Twitter as marketing tools doesn’t mean others do. I’m so caught up in what I’m tweeting or who’s getting @me that I don’t even look at the newsfeeds on those sites. As a result I’ve built this digital bubble of self-absorption.

I don’t like that.

That’s why I made a point to journey out of my bat cave last night to attend my homegirl GangStarrGirl’s Madonna vs. Janet Jackson party. Normally I would have just stayed home sighting all the work I have to do, my Ramadan sleep schedule or the $10 admission as valid reasons for not showing up.

I’m so quick to solicit support for my endeavors but I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve bailed on a friend’s function for my own selfish reasons. So I began the slow process of change last night by being a better friend and hopefully a better person.

A work in progress…

The only question I have is in the title.

Speak your piece…

PS

I promise not to tag anyone on this one.