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#50 I Fear For the Next Generation (Saving Our Grace)

Posted by NWSO • September 15, 2009 • Printer-friendly

I had planned to write something else tonight. Admittedly, it was going to be totally lighthearted and frivolous, as I try to keep it light for the second post of the day. However, I came across something that inspired me.

As I logged in to one of the many sites I peruse throughout the day I came across a post labeled “Video: Skyzoo - Saving Our Grace Episode 4 (The Strength).” For those that don’t know, Skyzoo is a respectable MC from Brooklyn with a moderate amount of notoriety. He’s not a megastar like INSERT RAPPER NAME HERE but he gets around and busy on the mic.

Still, that wasn’t what caught my attention.

Looking at the screen grab for the video, there was a young woman seated at the Lafayette St. train station in Brooklyn. I’ve traveled through that station plenty of times over the years and I assumed Sky had shot his latest video there. Overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity, I pressed play.

I’m thankful that I did.

Instead of a music video, I was greeted by an interview. No, not with Skyzoo or anyone famous. It was a 19-year-old mother recounting her personal story. Blessed with an 8-month-old, she “has no idea what her [daughter’s] father is doing.” In fact, she hasn’t seen him since the delivery room.

I was captivated.

The young girl’s eyes filled up with tears as she shared more of her life. How she wanted to be “a teacher, a counselor, maybe some sort of doctor… someone that helps people” but due to her situation none of those seem like realistic options for now. As she put it, “Right now I’m just trying to get by… I need somebody to come fu*kin’ help me.”

Listening to this girl speak wasn’t sad, it was the fact that this was only one of millions of similar stories. Babies raising babies alone is an all too familiar occurrence that numerous people talk about. I just didn’t expect it from a rapper, let alone Skyzoo.

I did a little research and discovered that the previous three episodes of this Saving Our Grace series covered equally real issues. Episode 3: The Hope followed a young man that was the first in his family to attend college. Episode 2: The Faith covered a former felon searching for work. Episode 1: The Doubt revealed a guy who works at a fast food restaurant to put food on the table.

The weekly vlog series is promo for Skyzoo’s album, The Salvation, which drops September 29th. With two more episodes left, I’m definitely intrigued by this marketing plan. Like I said earlier, I’m vaguely familiar with Sky but now I’m really interested in what he has to say given his decision to not focus on himself, or even his music, but the plight of real people in the hood.

I just wish more artists were willing to do that instead of talking about how much money they have and how many women they’ve slept with. Maybe I’m alone in this, but after a while that gets boring.

Thanx, Skyzoo, for something different.

What do you think of Skyzoo’s series? Do you think it’s a genuine acknowledgment of the struggle or all marketing ploy? Does this make you more interested in his music or less? Do feel for teenage mothers forced to raise kids on their own? Would you support your child if he or she was pregnant at 19? How often do you think people wind up sacrificing their dreams and aspirations because of life’s hurdles? Have you had to give up on something because of a life-changing event? Do you fear for the future of our next generation?

Speak your piece…

EPISODE 4: THE STRENGTH

EPISODE 3: THE HOPE

EPISODE 2: THE FAITH

EPISODE 1: THE DOUBT

Tagged as: Duckdown Records, hip-hop, Saving Our Grace, Skyzoo, struggle, teen mother

single handed

i've just recently become a single mother of three children under the age of 5. It's hard enough raising children as an adult. i can't begin to imagine raising a child, on my own, at 19.
pre-med

The truth of the matter is that children typically follow the patterns of their parents, and if you consider statistics, most women that live in what may be considered lower class neighborhoods tend to have children early, work minimum wage jobs, and never excel to their full potential. Our young black women are creating glass ceilings for themselves by following the same statistics. There are not enough programs out there that educate our young women, keep their minds active, give them skills that will help them succeed. Another disturbing fact is that black women make up more than 70% percent of new HIV/AIDS cases today..

Oh yeah.. and the infamous saying "Momma's baby, Papa's maybe" still holds true..
MomOf3

@ Pre-Med I'm sorry maybe I just read what you said wrong but it sounds as if you're placing the buck squarely on the shoulders of women. These young black mothers didn't make these children on there own. Maybe we need programs to educate young black "men" on how to be fathers and the chances of women running in the the "glass ceiling" would decrease.. Lets not forget that these women (girls) could have taken the easy way out but they're taking responsibility for their actions and raising their children the best way they can...
Oh yeah, and this day and age that saying shouldn't hold true... Seeing as it's as simple as requesting a DNA test at birth if you have any concerns... SMH...

I have 3 children and I couldn't imagine being a single mother. I have the upmost respect for EVERY woman that has to do it on her own. Regardless of her age educational background, or income...
pre-med

@ MomOf3
Raising a child is never a one way street, it takes two people. But the sad fact is that most of black families are run by single parent households, typically the mother. Not everyone has money to get paternity tests, and not every one has money for abortions either, being that it is seen as a easy way out. Speaking from experience and being raised by a single mom, I see how easy it is for men to walk away from their children. Yes, we do need better programs to teach our men how to be better fathers, but being a women, you have the last say as to whether you bring life into this world. Its all about choices, and coming from where im from (NEWARK, JERSEY), how much you make, and how much education you have makes a difference. Take a walk around the hood and tell me how many young mothers you see... TOO MANY!!
TenderT

Hey, up late winding down from getting off work. I don't know where to start as I don't want to overdue it but At 30 I am a single mother. I didn't follow in my mother's footsteps and have a child at sixteen I waited but that does not matter as I am now a single mother. My son is 2. If I wanted to no I wouldn't have to be a single mother but I don't want to play myself short and be with someone I don't want to be with. Why have a baby then right? Well we find out more about a boy/man when responsibility hits and I changed but he didn't. He wants me to move where he is. I sacrificed my Army career after having my baby to not go back to Iraq after having my baby being that both myself and the father would have had to go together, now things are different when you don't have much going for yourself. He got me where he wanted me is what I think. Broke me down but all I can say for the men who are not around is that they missing out. Child support will catch up to him really soon and that's how it will have to be. Some men will take care of another woman's child and not they own. As far as young mother's no it takes two but Black women need to accept themselves and appreciate their worth. Too much degrading going on. We are settling for less becuase we think we going to get something out the deal. My lesson is to stop settling for less. We may not know from jump that we gonna marry someone but you know if you like them or not and if you don't it's ok you don't owe him anything. We lack male companionship cause our father's were not around and in some cases mothers and we try to find it in men. I learned I am not the first to have to do it and won't be the last. Women been raising babies alone for a long time now. Sad but true. I like this SkyZoo guy and may even buy his CD. Keep your head up ladies. There are situations worse. Eight years in the Army gone.....Raising my son and not going to Iraq for a 3rd tour...PRICELESS. Be blessed.
Elle

What do you think of Skyzoo’s series? Do you think it’s a genuine acknowledgment of the struggle or all marketing ploy?
- I think the series is a great idea. Granted, I am sure it is a way to promote his album. But the way that it is done does not only raise awareness for him and his music but also for the struggles everyday people are going through. So why not use that kind of medium to achieve several goals at once? I think its ingenious. Being in the marketing field myself, and the music industry in particular, I give props to him (or whoever came up with it) for the concept.
What makes me wonder is how everyone used the same explanation, even the same wording when they went on to elaborate on what keeps them from giving up. Coincidence? Or script?

Does this make you more interested in his music or less?
- I'll definitey check out what he has to say on his album.

Do feel for teenage mothers forced to raise kids on their own?
- Yes and no. The girl in the clip touched my heart. I've seen dozens like her in my time in the US and my heart goes out to them.
However, where I am from things are different. It is not remotely as tough for teenage mothers out here. Heck, up until age 21, contraceptives are free and so are abortions. There is no need to set yourself and your life up to be a single mother where I live. Should you choose to go that route, the system will take very good care of you: rent paid, food paid, furniture, clothes, everything for the baby, free daycare and so on. So no, I do not feel for single mothers out here. America on the other hand is a whole different ball game.

Would you support your child if he or she was pregnant at 19?
- Absolutely. I would support my child in every thinkable and unthinkable situation.

How often do you think people wind up sacrificing their dreams and aspirations because of life’s hurdles?
- Quite frankly I think most of us do. Only a select few REALLY get to where they planned to be. We all sacrifice in one way or another. Personally, I only know one person who seems to always get what she works for/plans/wants.

Have you had to give up on something because of a life-changing event?
- Several times, not necessarily because of life-changing events every single time but it hurts equally as much to give up on something you worked for, dreamed of, had plans for. Makes you feel like a failure.

Do you fear for the future of our next generation?
- Yes and no. Times are hard for everyone. If we make it through, I am sure they will. Yet and still, it does seem like things are heading downhill at an accelerated speed these days. So only God knows how life will be 30 years from now.
irish_mami8

Amen, TenderT. I've got two boys. My ex hasn't worked in over a year and a half. Child support is not entirely regular, we'll just say. He lives with his new wife, and she supports him. I guess that's why he behaves himself with her. I was the stay-at-home mother who got abused and mistreated. Maybe things would have been different if I had been holding all the cards. But do we, as women, really want some no-good, lazy, don't-want-a-job man? I don't think so. I've got standards for myself. And thankfully, they're higher than they were back then.

But him and his wife are expecting a baby themselves. I'm sitting here like you don't do jack for my kids but cause problems. How can I expect anything once the next kid comes along? I can't even get it now. And the most important thing is what kind of woman will marry a dude that has no job and no desire to work (yes, he had been out of work for almost a year when they got married, and not actively looking)? I'm far from a golddigger, but I can't have a man who doesn't handle his own business. I've got enough to deal with myself. I don't ask you for anything. Don't ask me either. But when he got out of the Army, the same week, he beat my child, and she stood by him in court. Why would you marry someone who beats his own flesh and blood? You think he won't do the same to you? You think that your children will be safe? And why would you want a male (I can't even call someone like that a man) who doesn't pay for the two kids he has? Will he support yours if something happens between you two?

I know that this sounds bitter. I'm just having a really hard time dealing. I'm out there grinding every day. Going to school full-time, working. I wouldn't make it without my parents. But he sits on his butt all day and thinks of ways to get out of child support. And he wants to take my kids away from me on top of that. I think it's more because he wants me to pay him. I just don't understand. It's hard enough out there. For both men and women. Do we really need to turn on each other? I won't take any male that doesn't support his kids. A man takes care of his own. Why reward bad behavior? If someone does something wrong, you don't reward them. If he doesn't take care of his kids, you shouldn't have another one with him. That's setting yourself up for failure. We need to stop working against each other and help each other. We need to stop allowing these men to bail on women. I know that sometimes you can't see it coming, but if he's done it before....I don't mean that any of us are guilty of that. But can you really stop some trifling woman from acting like that? Okay, I'm done acting angry and bitter. Time for me to regain my composure and act like my normal, cheerful self. Thank you for listening to my rant. I'm just mad at myself for letting myself get into this situation. The things we do when we're young.....
MomOf3

@ irish_mami8

You don't sound bitter at all to me. You sound like you're asking questions that any self respecting woman should. I could never date let alone marry a man that won't take care of his children. And by take care of I mean doing more than sending a check every blue moon. Now as far as the job thing goes. I think if I had a man that was just down on his luck at the moment I could support him for a while. ESPECIALLY if despite his current financial hardships he still made certain to do whatever he could for his kids. Even if it's just keeping them everyday so hat their mother didn't have to pay for daycare. Or picking them up when she can't.

I just relally hate deadbeat dads. I don't understand it. My mother and father were married before I was born and still are to this day so he's always been there for me. I couldn't imagine growing up without him. I pray that if my husband and I ever separate he'll be a stand up guy. He is right now but they always change when the relationship status changes...
lavonya

I know what it is like to be a teenage mother being one myself at the tender age of 14 I became impreganated with my first child, born the day after my fifteenth birthday. Now at the age of 25 I am a single mother of five wonderful children. Yes five, though I struggle and the days are long I make it I am educated and am currentlytring to work my way up in this world, tring to insure that my four boys grow up to be strong educated black men that want something, and to give my daughter all the love she needs to help aviod her ending up as I have. But with my faith in God I know that things get better but only if its wanted.

FATHERLESS FAMILIES
....A little boy lost in the blue, a single mother doesnt know what to do, with no to teach him to be a man on his own two feet how will he stand
A little girl lost and confused never learning the meaning of real true love, not knowing to bow to the Lord above not knowing whose hand next to hold not knowing whos telling the next story told, I love you boo I love you to, a baby born now what to do, He flips he turns he walks away he throws his hands up he will not stay, another baby with no man that cares another child with blank silent stares when or will lessons learned help us take heed in blessings earned the life and growth of a child is meant to share but the burden and the truth this man will not where. Another fatherless home, another single mother, another little girl only father figure known is her big brother but how alone is he supposed to stand up to the responsibilities of another mans immortalities but never will we learn it seems to stop the cycle of fatherless families.
Mz. Ashley

I like what this MC is doing here... very classy and we need a change in some of the music that is played today. Its all the same...all has the same sayings... its getting old.

You know I agree with what most of you are saying but the situation me and my SO are in is crazy. The mother of his son will not let him see his son unless she is there and she watches everything they do. She will not let the son leave with my SO because I am white and he is with me and not her. There are a lot of young women out here who wish their father would try and help out…but this witch is so backwards, she refuses to let him even see or spend a whole day with his son….oh wait, he can, but it would have to be at her house and he would have to chill with her the whole time…sorry but that is not gonna happen mami. She sees he is out here trying to do his part to be a father and she will not let it happen. All because she is still in love with my SO and if he is not with her, then he is not gonna be with his son. It has been almost 3 years now and the bish is still trippin. My SO has no criminal history and is a good person..he does not deserve this. I see this same problem a lot.

and i do not believe in abortion so i can understand why they wouldnt want to kill there babies and raise them on their own...i would do the same...getting pregnant is a blessing...there are people out here that wish they could have a baby..
CB

What do you think of Skyzoo’s series?

I think the series is a great way for the rest of America (particularly upper & middle classes - all races) to see what takes place in many of our low-income/middle income urban communities.

Do you think it’s a genuine acknowledgment of the struggle or all marketing ploy?
I do feel it's a geniune acknowledgment of the struggle... I mean back in the day (I'm in my mid-30s) rappers would talk about what is going on in our communities (Public Enemy, NWA, etc.), but nowadays most rappers are talking about "making it rain" and how much loot they have and how many women they can bag and our communities are still suffering...so I think it's great (even if it is only a ploy to market his album, which I'm not sure it is) to show with actual words and images what is going on and not just "spit" it over a mic.

Does this make you more interested in his music or less?
I would be willing to hear what his music is about but doubt I would buy the album since I'm not a huge hip hop fan.

Do feel for teenage mothers forced to raise kids on their own?
Yes and no... yes because I know it's hard. I have a few friends who had children as teenagers...but no because often times these kids had good role models and/or parents who tried to steer them right but the child didn't want to listen.

Would you support your child if he or she was pregnant at 19?

I would definitely support my child...my sister had her first child at the age of 21, but her mind was still like a teenager, and my sisters and my mom helped raise my niece (who is 10 yrs old now) because my sister couldn't do it alone. I always believe that family supports family, and while it might not be an ideal situation it happens every day and why create another statistic on top of this one... it takes a village to raise a child, so step up to the plate!

How often do you think people wind up sacrificing their dreams and aspirations because of life’s hurdles?
I think in the States it happens a lot, especially in low & middle income situations... $ is king unfortunately in the States...we're a capitalistic culture and you have the haves and "have nots", and when you don't have most times the dreams you might have wanted achieve won't happen because you can't afford it...sure some of us get buy and get "a break" or two but unfortunately that isn't the case for a lot of minorities, especially those from single-parent homes.

Have you had to give up on something because of a life-changing event?
I haven't had to give up too much because of a life-changing event of my own accord, but because of helping others or trying to do for others yes I have had to give up on certain things...still no regrets, just lessons learned.

Do you fear for the future of our next generation?

Yes I do...America while it is a great country it is also a sick country...we still have racial disparities (even with a black president), class disparities (that's across all races), poor public educational system across the board, and poor health care for all... unless things improve in these areas things aren't likely to get any easier for the next generation because a good porition of them still might take on the actions and beliefs of their parents (e.g. McCain telling folks to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, non-minorities, or even upper class kids will think that "others" can get ahead if they work hard enough, forgetting that these "others" don't have the same opportunities and/or resources as they do to get ahead)
Rastaman

Not all marketing ploys are bad. Every little bit counts and hopefully this is the kind of meaningful approach that start to make things turnaround to a more positive future.

There are no easy answers to teh realities of modern life and babies having babies ia one of those realities. The older I get the more i come to understand that things i take for granted as far as general knowledge are very often foreign concepts to others.

Are they stupid or are they just ignorant?

I don't know, so much of life is about what could be and many of us roll the dice everyday in the hope that we are going to come up winners in the Ceelo of life. There are always going to be winners and losers and one thing i have learned about this game is that the winners are always putting theodds in their favor.
Achaia

@ pre-med, I have to disagree with you 110%. I know and dont believe that children follow in the footsteps of their parent. If that was the case I would have been a single mother of two and a crack head instead of a 25 year old with no children, a bachelor’s degree in psychology and masters degree in counseling psychology if that was the case. If that was the case my sister wouldn’t be a nurse (after having a child at 15 and not getting her GED until she was 20) . I am a firm believer in you make your own destiny (with the aid of God). There are no excuses to being a failure. But you can make your own opportunity to be great. Yes the statistics are staggering about the negativity in our culture. But how many times have you found a collection of statistics about the positive…None. I think if you think negative you breathe negativity and others breathe it in. So let’s think of the positive that we have done as a people. We have enough of others pointing out the negative.
neo the one

What do you think of Skyzoo’s series?
definately a breath of fresh air in my opinion... we got concious rappers out there (dead prez, roots, talib kweli, common, most def, etc) and we need more of this.... speak it like it is and not like what its not.... 98% of the world own 10% of the worth while 2% own 90%.. aint that a bitch!!

Do you think it’s a genuine acknowledgment of the struggle or all marketing ploy?

can't say for sure but whatever it is its caught my attention so im willing to find out....

Does this make you more interested in his music or less? Do feel for teenage mothers forced to raise kids on their own?

yes and yes... i yearn for some difference instead of the medoricty they calling rap now... everything is branded copied and marketed... i need someone talking from the heart w/o the chase of money in mind (but in reality thats what we all are chasing to a certain degree) but you get the poiint

Would you support your child if he or she was pregnant at 19?

yes... ive been there as a male and had to do my part soi know the struggle...

How often do you think people wind up sacrificing their dreams and aspirations because of life’s hurdles?

on a daily basis... you need maslov's heirachy of needs to be met.. they superseed any dream

Have you had to give up on something because of a life-changing event? Do you fear for the future of our next generation?

Yes and yes.... sometimes dreams dont match drive and we all do have limitations that need to be factored in in ex. someone not strong in math would have a higher improbability of becoming and engineer..... not saying it cant be done but statistically improbable... sometimes you gotta take that dream and fine tune it in a way where it is your dream but you may be working from another angle..... for example you might want to be a doctor but dont have the money to complete such dream ( you wanted to become a doctor to help people so really helping people is your dream not being a doctor) so instead you become a nurse practioner ( the nurse equivalent to a doctor)............

this new generation is mostly about self.... they all about money and how they can achieve such reguardless of who they have to step on.... and then some have no drive @ alll.... which is partly to blame on us..... we have loosened our ideas of moral scrupals which in turn have been watered down into their generation.... but @ the same time there comes a point within which one must be held accountable for thier own actions....NUFF SAID
DC Man With a Plan

This is ALWAYS an emotional discussion, but Pre-Med shouldn't be attacked for acknowledging that WE all have choices to make that result in the consequences we have to live with. For decades now, we in the Black community have spread the TRUE knowledge that having a baby as a teenager and being a single parent is NOT a death sentence and does NOT have to result in extreme hardship or poverty. BUT, there is a difference in stating what is possible and in promoting a proper, better way to grow into an adult. YES, men AND women need to step up to the plate and ensure their SON's take responsibility for the kids they help bring into this world, but bcuz of the difficulties young ladies encounter and bcuz of the number of unwed moms and single parent homes--young girls NEED to be trained and taught that puppy love doesn't last as long as a child; that lil Jimmy don't know anymore about love and relationships than she does, but both need to focus on their education instead of the bump and grind promoted by Ti and Ciiara. Since moms, more often than not, end up with the kids, young girls are the ones who need to learn about the benefits of maintaining their virginity instead of falling for the okie-doke. I'm working with MY sons and expressing to them the need to accomplish their dreams without becoming a parent first; that kids and marriage go BEST together; that intimacy without commitment is a false choice and that being a man is a requirement for becoming a dad. IF my kid gets a woman pregnant I'ma help HIM do what is necessary to be a father and a man--but he couldn't live in MY house. Naw, bro man gonna need his own spot bcuz once you're mature enuff to make babies, you need to carry the whole load of being a mature adult. Only ONE person in MY house officially and legally having sex; ery'body else eating my food, bathing in my water. U grown enuff to make babies--U grown enuff to pay for your own food and water. Consequences are REAL in life. I see it ALL the time....lil girls and lil boys walkin long distance to the store bcuz they wanna see the opposite sex....We all been there, we all know THAT game. But the choice to have sex bcuz you THINK you're grown or in love--despite what your parents, older siblings and neighborhood adults tell you--is a decision that has repercussions. Yes, I feel for a teen mom, but I'll betcha there was a period of time when you couldn't tell her NOTHIN--about what she was involved in. How it was over her head...how she was in too deep.....Now you wanna listen and I'm supposed to feel--what? pity, sympathy, empathy? More often than not it is NOT that no one told them what was best and right--it's that they didn't listen.......That's a personal choice.
hotgaly27

Everybody seems to have an option when it comes to topics like this. Let's be real about a few thing first, these things happen everyday. No matter how you look at it this has been happening for years. If people want to help and have so much to say then they need to start getting into the young adults minds. Letting them no the truth about sex. Sex is a very great thing between to people. Telling kids having sex is bad is BullS***. Because the first thing they say to themself is. If it is so bad then why do you do it. People need to stop acting like they were married whe they did it.

What you should be telling them is sex is nice when it is done with the one you love and that you are fully protected. Meaning teaching the boys about protection and how to use it and teaching the girls that no matter what someone tells you make that boy wear protection.

I am not saying that it is ok but at least you will know that if your child or any child for that matter does cross that path that they have knowledge of the correct way to do it.

Show them what people look like with a disease, let them know all the things that could go wrong.

For me I fill that if we took this road maybe we could stop so many things not just babies.

Yes I fill sorry for the young adults because we have people in this world that thinks just like the person that wrote before me.

With an mind set like that. You wonder why we have so many teens pregrant, dead, in jail, selling drugs, selling there bodies because someone turned there back on them.

At the end of the day people make mistakes as a parent I will be there for my child. To teach them, like my parents did for me.
Jessica J

NWSO....why is this listed under the Funny/Humor section? This is serious. I didn't find it funny at all.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Jessica J

Nice catch, I must have clicked a wrong button.