You Better Upgrade Me (Why You Should Listen to Beyoncé)

Posted by NWSO • September 24, 2009 • Printer-friendly

If y’all don’t mind, I feel like trying something a little bit different today. Bare with me and I think you’ll get the message. Consider this an answer blog. Here goes… Mic check, 1, 2.

(Chorus)
Uh huh, you better listen to Beyoncé, girl. I ain't never been no block and I don't be'z the block, but if you gonna put everything I own in a box to the left, to the left, you damn sure better upgrade me.

(Intro ad-lib)
Ain't no point in settling for less than me, baby. That would be more asinine than you bouncing in the first place. I mean, two dumb moves in one week is a bit much don't you think?

(1st vs.)
It would kill me to see you with some lame dude after I done brought you to the Promised Land. Yeah, I wasn't perfect but I was the excellence of execution. The best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be. Word to Bret "the Hit Man" Hart. But since you like that Beyoncé record so much, you can put everything I own in a box to the left, to the left and I’ll be on my way. Just remember that if you keep on going to the left, to the left, you eventually end up on the right side—exactly where you were running from in the first place.

(2nd vs.)
This cat better bring sexy back times 10. He better lay pipe like a truckload of plumbers. He better treat you like the queen you are. He better go above and beyond what I ever did for you. He better fill all the gaps that I couldn't. He better believe in a little thing called commitment. He better make me feel like a lesser man. He better make me wanna step my game up. He better be so fu*kin’ good at everything that he does that the mere mention of his name will make me feel ashamed of my inferior love.

(3rd vs.)
I gave you the world, but of course I fu*ked that up. So I don't blame you for putting everything I own in a box to the left, to the left, and all my love in a chest to the right, to the right. But think about all the years I made you smile. Think about how I introduced you to a better life. How I told you to keep your head up and look the world in the eye. How I helped you find yourself when you felt lost. Always remember that I wanna see you happy even if you’re not with me, but this ni**a better be an upgraded version of me. Otherwise you’re NotAGoodLook.com ThatsABadLook.com (coming soon) status, baby.

(Repeat 2x and fade to black)

Have you ever been dumped for someone that was less attractive or had less going on than you? Would that bruise your ego just a little bit? Have you ever seen an ex’s new partner and been like, Why are they with that person? If so, were you just hating? Do you even care who your ex goes out with? Is it harder to see your ex move on when you’re still single? Would you actually be happy that your ex was able to find true love even if it wasn’t with you? Would you want to see your ex with someone that was a downgrade or upgrade from you?

Speak your piece…

WET WEDNESDAYS IS COMING!!!!

Tagged as: Beyonce, Bret Hart, Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, Knowles, to the left, WWE, WWF

http://nosinglemamadrama.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/relationship-drama-how-to-get-over-your-ex/#more-162 Ms. No Single Mama Drama

I just recently got dumped, but I'm not mad. I was hurt at first, but I'm keeping it moving. I think I was more disappointed that the relationship ended because I really believed we were meant to be - the lifetime kind - but I put that in God's hands.

If it was meant to be, God will make sure we find our way back to each other; if not, I appreciate the time we had together, and I look forward to what God has for me in the future.

After all, God knows best.
~C.

Story of my life with my ex...i spent 8 on-again, off-again years with him...he kept thinkin he was goin to find someone better than me. I'm pretty and smart, I've always held down a good job and made my own money... but I'm not drop dead gorgeous or skinny and thats what he was after. These chicks lived at home with their parents, had a few baby daddys, and were just lookin for someone to take care of them...I never asked him for anything but that didn't matter.

I would ask myself every time he left: "Why is he with her? She don't have shit on me," And when he realized that he'd come back and I would let him come back because of our daughter...I wanted to make it work.

I finally left him this year...I was tired of feeling like I wasn't good enough, my self-confidence was gone. And I'm so happy that I did because I've upgraded! LOL I'm with someone who loves me and appreciates me...as I am.
Elle

I wouldn't go as far as saying I got dumped for a new chick but men have a tendency to bone the next duckling that passes their way after a breakup to get their mind off things (some turn to liquor, partying heavily or all of the above combined). At least that's what it seems like to me. Fellas, feel free to correct my assessment.

So yep, my now ex-fiancé ended up messing with a chick that looks like a troll shortly after he dumped me. Yes, I am hating but I am not exaggerating.
I can't say how smart or affluent or whatever she is for I do not know her. All I know is she is 10 years older (what?), boobies sagging to her belly (what?), showing more gums than teeth (what?) and has a face and a hairdo like these troll dolls that used to be around (what?).

Quite frankly, it does not bruise my ego one bit. I would be hurt and feeling insecure had he be messing with a model-type chick. But this replacement makes me laugh and wonder about his vision. Waking up next to her is definitely a downgrade but hey, whatever works for him.

For me it depends on the time that has passed. With my other exes I could care less who they are dating and why. I wish them happiness in every aspect of life and would never compare myself to their new lady. But when heartbreak is still fresh it hurts to see the other move on faster - whether they are truly moving on or just passing time while they are healing. So in this case, the new jump-off better be a downgrade.

Eh.
GV1584

That was hot!

I think this comes down to the fact that attraction is not always just about physical appearance. If I see an ex with someone who is drop dead gorgeous then of course that's going to bruise my ego a tad (even if you attempt to brush it off on the surface). However, if your ex downgraded then yeah you can gloat for a minute about the fact that you know you're waaay better looking BUT it then gets you started on a whole other train of thought like maybe this person has something deeper which is beyond looks. I'm only human and these thoughts will cross my mind but at the end of the day I think I'm secure enough to keep it moving and not dwell on these little thoughts although I think relationships have the potential to make even the most secure people crumble just a little bit.

I had someone tell me I was "beautiful" and "perfect" yet they chose to be with someone else (who is a downgrade IMO but I'm biased! lol)so those "why is he with her" questions often plague my thoughts. As much as I'd want to be happy that my ex was able to find true love without me, deep down I know I'd be kidding myself.

(Off topic but I think Beyonce's intention behind 'Upgrade U' was about upgrading the partner you're in a relationship with as opposed to upgrade to the next partner post relationship. I think that's also possibly an interesting topic...)
Angeleyes

I had an ex break up with me only to date someone 4-5 years younger. I found that it was because he wasn't ready for a commitment, so he knew the younger chick would not pressure him.

Another ex left me to go back to his ex-wife. He swore that their 4 years of marriage was hell. Why go back to that? Well that didn't work, and guess where he is now....trying to get back with me again :-/
nik1908

Ok I just have to say that I LOVE this line!!! "I wasn’t perfect but I was the excellence of execution". Ok I'm stealing it!
But I have had a relationship end and he ended up dating and getting another girl pregnant. She was definitely a troll...Hating....not really....she was certified Troll! But I was never hurt over what she looked like but her attitude was horrible as well. She was just an unattractive mean girl. I mean, all people should be nice and pleasant, but if you're unattractive you should not be rude and mean spirited! I really felt bad for him...she's the mother of his child and now he has to deal with her bad attitude for at least 18 years. I just thank the good Lord that their child looks like him!
Rastaman

For every single attractive woman you run into there is a man out there who can't stand her ass!!

Sometimes I have been the one who was wondering how can she be single and be so fine and other times I am the man who can't stand her ass.

As GV1584 notes sometime attraction is much more than looks or surface appearance. One of the things I have come to learn about myself as a man is that peace of mind is much more fulfilling than having the "hottest chick in the game". I once briefly dated a woman who was booksmart, beautiful and the sex was off the hook but she was also the most insecure, contentious and wrongheaded individuals one could ever experience. I now know the 6 months we were together was 5 months too long. After that experience most anyone is an upgrade to tell you the truth.
Mz. Ashley

I can say that I have never been dumped. When i was younger, I really didnt date that much. I have been in 2 serious relationships, including the one i am in now ( been 3 years). The other one was for 4 years. I dumped him because i turned 18 and I wanted to go out to the club and check out that lifestyle...he would cry everytime i left thinking i was going to cheat on him. I think that if i was dumped and they left me for a hotter woman, i would be pleased. Atleast they moved on to something better. Of course I would be hurt, but only for a little while.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@nik1908

That line is actually Bret "The Hitman" Hart's. I mentioned him right after it with a link. He was a WWF/W wrestler and that was his slogan
http://mentallyorgasmic.blogspot.com Aaviana

I have seen my ex's new girls and they have all been downgrades! The ex's always wanna come back after they realize what they lost. The trust is gone so I would rather move forward than backwards.
Shequita

LOL this post couldn't have came at a better time. I left my H and it has been about 3 mts and he's already on girlfriend number 2!!! Yes you heard right I am his eS(estranged wife) and he has an eX and now a current!! I saw her leaving his place couple wks ago coming over to get my children and I knew it was her because of the "let me hurry up and get the hell outta here" look in her eyes. I wasn't going to say a word and my estranged H was looking nervous like "damn she shoulda left earlier"...I calmly retrieved my lil ones and went on about my business as usual. I can't hate on her because she LOOKS LIKE ME!!! My breasts are bigger but she makes up for it havin more in da booty department, nice sexy lips LIKE mine, and she's curvatious......so I was kinda jealous at first (heys its only natural)...but a hater??? No matter how she looks..she aint ME! I'm takin it as a bitter sweet compliment!
http://www.guerillaartist.com Deka

I'm living on a new path brother. Jealously is a poison. I think that when you believe in yourself, and have confidence in your future with another partner, you have no worries what your ex is doing. Took me a while to understand that.
DJ CEO

Of course it all depends on your relationship with your ex. If you hate her/him you can give two shits. If you love her/him just has a friend and person then of course you should be happy for her/him. I would. But if you are still in love with that person then of course, naturally you would feel some sort of way. More often than not I try not to remain that close to my ex's because when you do it only makes things more complicated.
TakDawg

I have conflicted opinions on this subject. On one hand I am happy for my Ex although I don't believe he is really happy himself with his new girl. She doesn't look good but I think he is with her more out of convenience (A place to stay without having a job) and because she allows or does the things that I didn't. Not mad at all, about the situation (Him and Her). But on the other hand I am upset with the female for being a loser and believing his fabricated stories about me, our previous relationship, our child, and trying to be in the middle of our relationship as parents. But oh well, I wish them both the best and I don't see any reason to cry over spilled milk especially if it's sour. We've both moved on, and I don't provide him with any information about my boyfriend. Because it isn't that serious and I don't believe my relationship should be relevant to him. Did I mention we're still married? I don't want him back, but I love the fact that it infuriates his girlfriend and she can't get him to file for divorce. Lmao, when I get tired of the charade, I'll handle it on my own.
da ThRONe

I gotta say I dont care anymore. If she feels she needs to be over there then go. I would never compare myself to another dude.

But I do have a interesting break up story. My Ex "That Bitch" dump me using my lack of goals as her excuse. When I was working a full-time job and in school full-time. And then she proceded to date all drug dealers after me. Go figure!
http://Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem.com

i'm impressed with the video.

what program did u use to create it?
http://nwso.net NWSO

@AroundHarlem

Thanx, it's just iMovie
Anonymous

dont feel bad bp fam im the sixth baby daddy the only only who has stuck around for 8 years now she decides she wants the second baby daddy whom might i add is gay so what should i do . i love my baby girl and want to be in her life but refuse to be with mom ....... what should i do any comments
DC Man With a Plan

LMAO @ Elle.... who said: Dudes have a tendancy to bone the next ducking that comes along....Now that's FUNNY as heck to me.....when you leave Elle, I think SHE'S the type of chick that's throwing shyt at you and wishing badd things happen to you. Angeleyes, "C" and Shequita all I can say is DAMN! Getting dumped is typically not a pretty or pain less experience, but sometimes it's a blessing in disguise, but regardless, we all gotta do what we gotta do when we find our love not being honored or returned. I hope all of my "EXs" have a good life and find real love bcuz we EACH deserve that. Just bcuz a woman couldn't provide forever love to me, or me to her doesn't mean either of us doesn't deserve it. If your honest, have integrity and don't play with peoples emotions--U should be able to walk away on good terms. BUT it is nice to see your EX with some busted person....just for gp...lmao
Angeleyes

@ DC Man

Yes it sucks, but you're right. I thik I'm better off w/o them Thanks!
DC Man With a Plan

Anonymous # 6 baby-daddy. U got a lot of abbreviations I'm not gettin, but I THINK you were giving a general greeting with the bp fam (first I thought U were speaking to someone named bp...lol) First, as NWSO always says: choose a name, so we can distinguish you from any one ELSE using anonymous......secondly, all you should be thinking about doing is supporting your baby, though IMO, U seem to still be stuck on the mama. I'm not sure how you get into a line that 5 other dudes have been UNSUCCESSFUL in, but you need to figure THAT one out before you get into any more relationships bcuz you tryin to rescue the one you shoulda threw back! keep your head up, but if your EX has 5 other baby daddy's, there's bound to be some drama regarding your child down the road. shortee might be really fiiine....but her judgement ain't worth a damn! And what does that say about YOU, is your homework project....
Enlighten

I would say that my ex should upgrade. I know I will. Its over you move on. I would be offended if the person looked or acted worse than me.
da ThRONe

I think its doesnt speak well about the person you are to say somebody is an up or downgrade! There are so many things that attract one person to the next how can we call it either way.

I dont see up or down. I see compatible and non-compatible. Or even people who earn being in a relationship and people who dont deserve it.
Elle

"LMAO @ Elle…. who said: Dudes have a tendancy to bone the next ducking that comes along….Now that’s FUNNY as heck to me…..when you leave Elle, I think SHE’S the type of chick that’s throwing shyt at you and wishing badd things happen to you."

Are you saying I'm the type to throw things at people? Nah, you got me wrong. In my mind I most likely am, hell, I'm doing worse shit to you in my imagination. But I have never acted on it. I play it cool. My integrity means everything to me.
Matter of fact my ex-fiancé actually complained about me staying calm when he dumped me saying something along the lines of "If you told me something like this I'd be furious. But you're all quiet. Seems like you don't even care."
At THAT point I was getting ready to let his ass have it ... but I didn't. Kept it ladylike and wished all kinds of ish on him later
DC Man with a plan

I stand corrected, Elle. I give you props for internalizing that ish...Hopefully, you don't end up ill becuz U have toxic stuff all pent-up inside. AND, hopefully Young Jay will find comfort in knowing you ain't the "active" angry type of woman, so y'all can go forth and multiply...
http://spinsterstravels.wordpress.com/ Spinster

Have you ever been dumped for someone that was less attractive or had less going on than you?
- Yes.

Would that bruise your ego just a little bit?
- A little but it might be more comical than bruising to my ego.

Have you ever seen an ex’s new partner and been like, Why are they with that person?
- Not to my knowledge.

Do you even care who your ex goes out with?
- If it's an ex from a long time ago, nope. If it was recent, yes. It'd make me wonder what was so bad about me and etc.

Is it harder to see your ex move on when you’re still single?
- To a certain extent, yes. But with age it's gotten much better to handle, to the point that it looks pathetic to see a person do that, especially when it's so quick.

Would you actually be happy that your ex was able to find true love even if it wasn’t with you?
- More than likely and with a little time, yes.

Would you want to see your ex with someone that was a downgrade or upgrade from you?
- Not sure if it'd matter.
MizzRenea

Well i did get dumped for someone who I THOUGHT was worse than me but when i finally got over i was simply just hating he was finally truely happy and i was happy for them.. However my ex (who is 25) and i split (my choice) a year and a half ago and he dated someone 10X worse than me. I'm pretty fit, 5' 3, and work full time and had my own and when i left him he went to a woman that was just graduating from highschool the girl is 6' tall, at LEAST 300 pounds and lived with her MOM.... I dont think i had ever laughed sooo hard about a break up. I was hurt at first cause i was still single but realize that it was about time i moved on. Oh and to add she was an "ex" lesbian.... the girl was butch! needless to say they didnt last to long and he cheated ALL THE TIME but i just found it toooo funny!!!

- Now i believe everything happens for a reason.... If men are an ex it is for a reason!!!!
Not tellin

My ex boyfriend cheated on me and we got into this awful "make up to break up" situation when I was emotionally dependent on him.

He eventually got with this 34-year-old lady with four kids. We actually ended up being "friends", bonding off talking shit about my ex, until I started talking to him again and she was turned off to me, basically.

I was so hurt that he'd get with her. I mean, I don't have any kids and I'm twelve years younger than her. He said he was just with her cos she paid his car note (of $700 for a beamer) but I had my insecurities cos he had cheated and everything.

Long story short, I came to realize that I'm glad "she could get him" because at least now I know that when I'm 34, maybe i'll "still have it", too.

Until this happened, I never thought no damn 34 year old could "compete" with me. Shame on me...
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Not Tellin

Doesn't sound like anything to be hurt about. Your ex just wanted/got a sugar mama. Kinda sucks for her actually.

As far as the "compete" part of a 34-year-old, is she really competing or is that her wallet/purse competing?

THAT's the real question. Hopefully it'll be YOU not your money that snags a younger (or any) man
Hayzel

i find that whwnever mess hits te fan and he/i go, it;s always for a good reason. i've had all types of crazy situations with men, and found that i hope the next woman is able to make him happy. i don't wish any ill will towards any of them. i guess that's just me as a person. i still find it strange that they either try to contact me, contact me, or stalk me online for years after the break-up....LMAO

the ex's that are still friend still want to be with me, even after dating various other women.. hmmmm... i dunno. i just know i'm a beautiful, quality woman, and no one, not even the next woman can take that away from me.
http://www.getmebackwithmyex.com/get-him-back/need-to-win-him-back-follow-these-5-romantic-tips/ ritche

If you're dumped by your ex and replaced by someone that was less attractive to you or shall we say, less financially stable than you, I think there's something wrong with you that only your ex knows. It's better you ask your ex so that you will be aware the reasons behind can be avoided to next relationship.
Sujith

“Uh huh, you better listen to Beyoncé, girl. I ain’t never been no block and I don’t be’z the block, but if you gonna put everything I own in a box to the left, to the left, you damn sure better upgrade me.”

Thats cooooooooollllllll

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