You are here: Home » Real Life, Real Talk, Video » VIDEO — What Are Gay Lips? (Leave Maxwell Alone)

VIDEO — What Are Gay Lips? (Leave Maxwell Alone)

Posted by NWSO • October 8, 2009 • Printer-friendly

Earlier this summer, I attended this big rooftop barbeque in the DUMBO section of Brooklyn and ran into a few familiar faces. There was great music, lots of eye candy and a Manhattan’s beautiful skyline across the river as a backdrop. Aside from witnessing some nasty ass delinquent scoop up not one, not two, but three servings of macaroni that had been sitting out all day with his bare hands (yuck!) because there were no more spoons, it was a great night.

During the course of the night, though, I found myself privy to a very interesting conversation. Maxwell’s video for “Pretty Wings” had just came out and my homegirl Sandra asked what I had thought of the album. Unfortunately, I hadn’t heard it (and still haven’t) so I didn’t have much of an opinion on the R&B crooner’s return effort. However, my other friend, who for sake of protecting her identity I’ll just call Ms. Inappropriate, did have something to say.

You can blame Maxwell’s soft voice and timid nature, but there have been questions about his masculinity for years. In the case of Ms. Inappropriate, though, there were no questions: “I think he’s gay.”

Sandra and I wondered how Ms. Inappropriate could be so sure about this, so we queried her further: “How do you know he’s gay?”

“Because he has gay lips,” she said, flatly.

“What the hell are ‘gay lips?’” I asked.

Ms. Inappropriate went on to break down what exactly gay lips were and how she used this physical feature to determine a man’s sexuality. Luckily, I had my trusty FlipCam on hand to document it all. Rather than breaking down this non-PC theory myself, y’all can hear it straight from the proverbial horse’s mouth in a spiffy video clip that I pulled together.

NOTE: If you’re at work, just grab some headphones before pressing play and if you’re super-sensitive this might not be for you. Either way, enjoy.

What Are Gay Lips? [NakedWithSocksOn.com]
by NakedWithSocksOn

Okay, for those that have a boss breathing down their back I’ll give a brief rundown of what Ms. Inappropriate said in the video. Basically, “gay lips” are thin yet pouty and look like they could give good head. (Ms. Inappropriate’s words not mine). In her defense, she did say that not all gay men had these lips but felt a good majority of them do.

For the record, neither NWSO nor NakedWithSocksOn.com endorses hatred towards any group of people based on race, religion, or sexuality. This post is merely a forum to discuss Ms. Inappropriate’s (prosperous or possible) idea that a person’s sexuality can be determined just by looking at his or her lips.

What do you think of Ms. Inappropriate’s theory? Do you believe that there is such a thing as “gay lips?” Is it possible for you to look at someone—male or female—and know their sexual preference based on physical characteristics? Do you automatically assume a man with a lisp is gay? If you agree with Ms. Inappropriate’s theory, do you think women can have “gay lips” too? Why do you think that some people question Maxwell’s sexuality? Do you believe that homosexuality is genetic or learned behavior?

Speak your piece…

UPDATE: MS. INAPPROPRIATE RESPONDS

hahah, i cant tell you how hard i laughed when i found out that Anslem posted this conversation.. Yes, IT WAS ME! And im sorry to those it offended but for the sake of avoiding death threats, ill keep my identity secret. (and dont worry Ans, i LOVE that you posted this!) its funny how homophobic a community can be until they are faced with the sheer ignorance that comes with their stereotypes. ALL OF YOU ARE RIGHT! my comments were just plain ignant and im glad that so many people are advocates of the gay community… (hopefully those of you who were enraged by my ‘ignorance’ are also supporters of gay marriage).. But in my defense, i wasnt making them for some type of public service announcement. lol. it was simply a convo at a party, after a couple of drinks, with some brute honesty (mixed with silliness) on my part.

Gay men dont look gay because there is no “gay look”.. but i am friends with enough gay and bisexual men in the closet, to begin to notice some patterns.. the gay lips thing is very hard to explain if i cant show you what i mean (and yes, i did say ‘mouthal region’). Maxwells lips are not a good example, but then again i didnt have a picture of him in front of me at the party. Maxwells beautifully high voice and soft features are enough to make him the butt of these ‘on the low’ convos (like Michael Jackson, and Prince)..

Stereotypes are bad but its STUPID to deny that we all have done it at some point. So why not embrace them, discuss them, and decide for ourselves in an environment of listening and open mindedness.. (i.e. addressing them instead of sweeping them under the rug)

BTW Ans, to answer your question about gay women attributes.. Its all in the shoulders hahahahaha.. that should provide a few more angry comments! But hey, im not saying believe me! And trust.. i dont go around pointing fingers and hurting feelings.. I love all people! including you! (even if you dont feel the same)

Tagged as: gay lips, homosexulaity, Maxwell, Pretty Wings, stereotype

Taneda

Are you F*@king serious??? Ignorance runs at a rapid speed through our community. She must be stopped. For the record i like to think i have the lips to give good head, so i, a female, have gay lips. IDIOT!!!
distinguishedgentlewoman

What a silly theory. Whatever.

Although I'm not feeling his Tyler Perry hairdo, Maxwell is fine as ever. He can put those beautiful lips of his on mine anytime. And a lot of women agree with me. He literally had a woman throw her panties to him at his concert this summer.
http://www.guerillaartist.com Deka

okay there are some openly gay men who tend to show a level of physical flare, That is way more visible than a feature like lips. This is more comical than serious, because I'm assuming this women was black, and it seems we have a crisis in the community with black males who are bisexual but never show it or open with it. These men go undetected, even the woman that made these comments can't tell! Because what if dude is gay and has no pouty lips?! I pray she reads this post and wise up real quick!
virtue5

her theory is wack. end of story.
http://www.thesinglegirlsguidetomen.com TheSingleGirlsGuideToMen.com

She is a fool how can you say a physical feature you are born with make you gay, she is ignorant. Did she say the gay lips are genetic??? Now I have alot of gay friends and some of them pout, but many of my gay friends you wouldn't know they were gay unless they told you.
LS

NWSO,

I'm surprised that you would even do a topic on this. Unless she was playin, your homegirl is flat out ignorant and is probably unaware of how she may come across.

btw, saw Maxwell in concert a couple of weeks ago and he is fine as hell, gay or not!
Tiq

She's retarded.
Mz. Ashley

Wish i could see the video, but i think from what i read, her theory is pretty funny. People on here are taking the topic way to serious...im sure she was full of alc, and was just rambling off at the mouth.
Songboy3

Wow. It never ceases to amaze how folks learn and then believe the most incredibly dumb ideas then proceed to preach them like it's gospel. Your 'friend' is an idiot. My boy has issues with women. He seems to be the only one who doesn't see this. So every so often, I have to suggest to him that he seek counseling. He's finally come to realize that I am not joking with him. He finally confessed that he's started therapy recently. I suggest the same for your 'friend.' Let's hope she doesn't have children to warp before this issue gets dealt with.

Geez....
Anonymous

Let me tell you something, and I'm not mad at you for posting that, but I've worked with Maxwell closely for almost a year, I've been on tour with him, I've been in the studio, I became very close with him as a person, and...HE IS NOT GAY. Believe me. Just because someone is a private person sometimes people mistaken that for " maybe he's hiding something" well he's not, he's VERY straight. I know a lot of people would love to see " the ladies man " -Maxwell, come out and say he's gay, but it just isn't so.
Shequita

<<<-------------------------still laughing......maxwell can get it.."gay lips" and all!!

I think it is absolutely crazy that people STILL think IN THIS DAY AND TIME that you can look at a person and tell that their "gay."
http://nwso.net NWSO

@LS

I post based on my experiences and this was definitely an experience. Doesn't mean I agree but airing out the sometimes ugly truths of some people's perceptions of the world are necessary for proper conversation and growth.

I'm SMH at idea when I heard it and still now some months later
That Guy

Her ignorance doesn't deserve discussion.. We have much more pressing issues that need attention in our community, and she needs therapy.

- fin
Sweets

I too have a "gay lips" theory, but it is a little different: When men wear too much carmex, chapstick or whatever & their lips are glossy. Glossy lips = Gay Lips! And the lisp is a dead giveaway! Maxwell would not fit into my gay lips theory. His lips are sufficiently dry - LOL
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Sweets

What the heck is "carmex?" Sounds like motor oli
Chi-Town

Poor ignorant woman! For the record, LL has pouty lips and we women love them! She just was talking out the side of her neck. Oh yeah Maxwell is sexy as well!
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Chi Town

The LL and Derek Luke flicks were actually posted when the other woman was talking about "Sexy" lips and the caption specified that those were lips that "ladies love" so no shots on my part at their lips. Not that I'm personally looking at them or anything, i polled some women for "sexy" male celeb lips to balance out the footage.
Righteous Mama

Yeah, I hope folks don't take this one too seriously but then again I have a twisted sense of humor. I probably wouldn't be laughing though if I was a gay man and in general most stereotypes aren't funny. But it depends on the kind of day I'm having and how badly I need to laugh. lol. I've heard this conversation before but no one has ever shared it publically. Probably because it is retarded and ignorant. Some people (gay men AND straight women) have lips that scream: "I can suck a mean one." lol. Please leave my baby Maxwell alone. I don't care what he is. A person's sexual orientation is nobody else's business. Why debate or criticize that?
Tee

the lips are oh so sexy, not gay. admired them up close when i was 15 and sitting next to him in photography class. is miss inappropriate mad that her are lips are lacking in the juicy department?
Anonymous

well think his lips are sexy n so wat if he is gay who give a d&^*.
MEKHIA81

MAXWELL IS NOT GAY NOR DOES HE HAVE "GAY LIPS" I WORK WITH MANY MEN IN GLBTQ COMMUNITY AND THERE IS A RANGE SOME THAT ARE VERY FEMININE AND OTHER ARE EXTREMELY MASCULINE. THE IDEA OF "GAY LIPS" IS DUMB AS HELL!

MAXWELL LIPS ARE SEXXXY AS HELL AND HE CAN PUT THEM WHERE EVER HE WANTS ON ME!

WE NEED TO STOP THIS KINDA FOOLISHNESS THIS THOUGHT PROCESS IS WHY SO MANY PPL ESPECIALLY IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY ARE AFFECTED BY HIV/AIDS/STDS. DUE TO THESE BACK-ALLEY THEORIES ...."HE DON'T HAVE GAY LIPS SO HE'S NOT GAY! SO LET'S NOT USE CONDOMS!" THAT KIND OF LOGIC IS DUMB AS HELL...........AND DANGEROUS!
Rastaman

I say lets not condemn this woman for her "dumb" conclusions...there are people on here who have expressed just as goofy beliefs in prior exchanges. the time is ripe to adapt an Obama "teaching moment" in my opinion.

Has someeone who has spent some time interacting with gay men, it is very reasonable to apply certain looks to being gay. It just happens that she may not realize that most of those looks are affected and are not natural. Plus some people do take on the affectations, speech and mannerism of their social groups. Hang out with some Jamaicans and after a while you start saying "irie" and dropping ur "H's".

I don't know Maxwell's sexuality , neither do I care, I am not a real fan of his music but I think all of that is up to individual taste. Ms. Inappropriate was expressing her goofy theory but there are so many goofy theories out here and some of them are actually dangerous not as innocus as Maxwell having "gay lips".
menluvmysmile

WOW Ms. Inappropriate should be called Ms. Ignorant...you can tell someone is gay by their lips is kinda like you can tell someone is black by their last name....two therioes that don't mean shyt!
Avah Royal

She sounds like she was sippin a little and was trying to be funny...at least I hope this is the case. Otherwise she sounds pretty stupid. She did make me laugh though!

I love Maxwell's lips and HE CAN GET IT! lol, sorry bae!
http://teanhoneybread.blogspot.com t. allen-mercado

Oh Ms. Ignorant and Inappropriate! *shakes fist*

Firstly, I'm most concerned with why anyone's sexuality with whom we are not sexually involved matters. Then of course there is the concern that men of color must present themselves as overtly masculine, hyper-sexual and bordering on misogynistic to be deemed "straight".

Gay lips, eh? Well, I did laugh...but at her, not with her. If you haven't heard the CD yet, you should. It's very well produced and arranged. I felt all sorts of ungay coming from him and his lips at the live performance! *fans self*
minaminaminaminasayyywhatt?!?!

this.... is the funniest shit i have read in a while. ignorant, yes, but hilarious!!! And I consign with her to an extent.
NN

Wow! That is probably the most silliest thing I've heard in a while! I would not repeat that theory in public if I were her. SMH!

Maxwell is straight up and down!
Elle

Shit, if more women reason like her and discard guys like Maxwell as "gay", that leaves more of the Maxwells of the world to me.

*in Monty Burns voice* Excellent!
Full of Fire

I definitely agree... I dont think all gay guys have gay lips but if you have gay lips you're definitely gay or bi or on the downlow...however i dont know if Maxwell has gay lips to me... Tyler Perry has gay lips ( I love him so no hate)...but yeah I think I can tell guys that are gay by the mouth.. the problem is its normally the flamboyant ones that have these lips not just the average ones trying to fit in and be average... As far as gay girls that's a tough one.. i dont think their activities give them a certain type of mouth.. then too most girls suck dick soooo whether you suck a real dick or a fake one its hard to distinguish.. basically gay girls just have girl lips....
Alaric

Wow... Idiot.
Chanel

Utterly and completely ridiculous.
Dutch

I didn't think the post was that funny, but the comments are hilarious Lol. Tears rolling down my face

"dumb ass ignorant woman" paaaaaaah I am sure she didnt mean it that serious and now she needs to seek therapy..oh boy funny as h**l!!!
http://www.gangstarrgirl.com GangStarr Girl

@Sweets
Glossy lips = Gay Lips! And the lisp is a dead giveaway! Maxwell would not fit into my gay lips theory. His lips are sufficiently dry.

True, true. LOL
Ms. Inappropriate

hahah, i cant tell you how hard i laughed when i found out that Anslem posted this conversation.. Yes, IT WAS ME! And im sorry to those it offended but for the sake of avoiding death threats, ill keep my identity secret. (and dont worry Ans, i LOVE that you posted this!) its funny how homophobic a community can be until they are faced with the sheer ignorance that comes with their stereotypes. ALL OF YOU ARE RIGHT! my comments were just plain ignant and im glad that so many people are advocates of the gay community... (hopefully those of you who were enraged by my 'ignorance' are also supporters of gay marriage).. But in my defense, i wasnt making them for some type of public service announcement. lol. it was simply a convo at a party, after a couple of drinks, with some brute honesty (mixed with silliness) on my part.

Gay men dont look gay because there is no "gay look".. but i am friends with enough gay and bisexual men in the closet, to begin to notice some patterns.. the gay lips thing is very hard to explain if i cant show you what i mean (and yes, i did say 'mouthal region'). Maxwells lips are not a good example, but then again i didnt have a picture of him in front of me at the party. Maxwells beautifully high voice and soft features are enough to make him the butt of these 'on the low' convos (like Michael Jackson, and Prince)..

Stereotypes are bad but its STUPID to deny that we all have done it at some point. So why not embrace them, discuss them, and decide for ourselves in an environment of listening and open mindedness.. (i.e. addressing them instead of sweeping them under the rug)

BTW Ans, to answer your question about gay women attributes.. Its all in the shoulders hahahahaha.. that should provide a few more angry comments! But hey, im not saying believe me! And trust.. i dont go around pointing fingers and hurting feelings.. I love all people! including you! (even if you dont feel the same)
da ThRONe

@Elle

When you say "Excellent" you gotta do the hand thing while saying it! LOL

Yeah I will say most gay people have tells but I dont think there lips are one of them. Then again maybe Im not looking at dudes lips hard enough to notice!
Righteous Mama

Smiling at Ms. Inappropriate for being a good sport. Laughing at it's all in the shoulders. You stupid!
Songboy3

To 'Ms. Inappropriate":

You wrong! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
naturally*made

I went to see maxwell this summer... he can put his "gay lips" on me anytime!!!!
Leah A Wilson

The Tommy Davidson pic makes this even more hilarious. She's as much a clown as Tommy Davidson. "Gay Lips"?! She described the succulence and beauty of all black men with full lips, and women for that matter. She had to have been high!
Mr Sensible

NWSO, this is frickin brilliant. Not the theory, which is one of the silliest and most asinine, homophobic theories Ive ever heard in my life. I mean, staring at some dudes' lips to determine how full or glossy or not is just...EWWW! It grosses me out as a dude, just thinking about how one would conduct the witchhunt who has gay lips or not. Talk about PROJECTION! Talk about gaybashers who arent so secure in their own sexuality!

Even tho yes, it was a female who came up with this. But females can be homophobic just like Blacks can be racist to each other. Anyway.

But what IS brilliant is you turning this into a meme.

This gay lips thing is gonna have legs (pause), watch.
Anonymous

She is a sick individual.
Hershey Kiss

omg. What is gay lips? Someone and I just had this conversation about gay features. What looks gay? come on people. They are just lips. I think people are just out to bad mouth people because they are not secure with themselves
luvr

gay lips are DSL! on men pd! and usually accentuated with mad lip balm, petroleum or k-y jelly on em! the same fukkin lips that pout when sayin howyoudoin?!

awright?!
SD

What kind of dumb*** s**t is that? It's genetic?!?! So that makes a whole entire family with the same facial features (including lips) gay??? So how did a whole family spawn a line of descendants when they're all homosexual and passing their gay lips and consequently their gay lifestyle down the line to the next generation?
Elle

@ da ThRONe

Oh I was doing the hand movement. Trust that
Kwana AKA OrangeStar AKA Phoenix7

Gay men dont look gay because there is no “gay look”.. but i am friends with enough gay and bisexual men in the closet, to begin to notice some patterns..

TRUTH.........you be around enough of em and God forbid get bearded by/used by a dude on the DL..your vision becomes crystal clear honey, its inexplicable, but its like whatever blinders you may have had on to closeted and not obviously gay men, are forever removed.....honey you have night vision and some mo sh*t, GPS gaydar deluxe!
Magalie

You know I read this posting and all of the responses to this theory and just had to pause for a minute.

Has anyone ever tried putting themselves in Maxwell's shoes or that of his family members or friends? Perhaps taken the time to consider how it might feel to be him?

Let's imagine that he is indeed gay and was forced back into the closet by the music executives at Sony. Can you imagine how tormented and belittled he must be feeling right now? To not only be forced back into the closet but on top of that to have these rumors being circulated about him without any concrete facts to substantiate them.

But more importantly, let us image that the man is actually STRAIGHT! Can you imagine what that must be like to have people constantly debating (on a global platform --- know as the internet) about your sexuality?

Can you imagine the position he must be in having to explain to his mother, or grandmother or cousins ... over and over again… "No I am not gay .... this is just something that someone made up about me." ....... "no Mom, I don't know why someone would choose to say something so mean about me." ..... "no Mom, I cannot sue or make the rumors go away. This stuff is being posted on the web and there is really nothing I can do about it." ….. “no Grandma, I don’t need the pastor to come pray for me … I am fine these are just rumors. They are not true.”

Now imagine having to have this conversation with your loved ones over……. And over …. And over again!!

As far as I know Maxwell is not married and has no children. But what if he was .... 8 years away is plenty of time to get certain things done. How would he explain this to his children? How will he explain this to his children in the future?

Maxwell is a celebrity (true) but he is also A LIVING BREATHING PERSON with feelings. Maybe we should just all take a minute to consider that before we go making these disparaging comments.

I personally am sick of it.

Word to the wise,

Magalie
Heralda

Here the shit I want someone to explain to me.
How the Fuck can you have fake bitch-ass nigga like Lil Wayne. Have pictures.

I’m talkin’ actual pictures of him and Bird Man down in Miami. Tongue kissin’ and nobody sayn’ shit about that. Just weeks ago they had pictures (on MediaTakeOut/Concrete Loop/ Bossip) showing Lil Wayne getting a $Million in cold-hard-cash from Bird Man with a dimoand studded birthday cake. Nobody aint sayn’ shit!!!!!!!!
But when it comes to my baby-daddy Maxwell everybody got some shit to say.

Fake ass haters where’s the proof. That’s what I want to know. Where’s the motherfucking proof.
Give me something. A picture, a groupie story, something.

The man done been around since 1996 and was gay all this time and no body aint got shit to say. How is that possible? Not one nigga has come out the closet yet to say they been with Maxwell. WTF!
da ThRONe

@Heralda

Where have you been? Everybody was saying those two were gay after that photo!
Heralda

@da ThRONe

Really?

Who is trying to ruin Lil Wayne's career?

Who is trying to push him "in" or should I ask "out" of the closet?

Who has been constructing the same grass-roots type of compaign (which is exactly what this Maxwell sexuality thing has partically turned into -- a grassroots movement) to force him to admit to his sexual preference?

Who?

Real talk .... I don't know of any artist that has been hounded on this topic as bad as Maxwell. You can not even do an internet search on Maxwell without finding a least 8 hits containing some comments about his sexuality. Its bullshit.

Believe me Lil Wayne ain't got it that bad.
da ThRONe

@Heralda

I dont put in much effort when it comes to celebs. If I hear something I hear something. But this happens with almost every celebs at one point or another. Ne-yo was one not to long ago where there was alot of "Gay buzz" around him. When you get into the business especially when your have a sensitive persona you will deal with the gay tag.
Heralda

You're right.

I am aware of the Neyo situation as well.

But still.

It's still annoying as fuck.

People just need to stop.
tippi

people are so upset, because this is most likely true. I dated a white guy{i am white} who was a closet bisexual [more on the gay side]. he had these lips. His lips where the tipical white lips, except they where smooth in appearance, and feel . Although He never came out of the closet, and many people thought of him as stright ( dont know for sure, as polite people wought not express opinions on this, out loud,as I did not, except here). I , in a short time knew he was bi. as there where other manerism, I picked up on.Interesting, I also Knew a latent homosexual, he did not have these lips or manerisms.
Dick Nation

I found this through a Google search trying to obtain a scientific article addressing this exact concept. I first read the article a few months ago, and wished to convey it to a friend. If I should find the article, I'll link it here (and I invite anyone to look for it themselves).

It turns out, as weird as it sounds to hear this out loud, it's been studied and shown that gay men actually have physical features which make them stand out. The article covered a university study which had its subjects examine randomized photos of gay and straight men, choosing on each photo whether they believed the subject was straight or gay. Remarkably, the answers from the study came back at a 90 to 95 percent accuracy. In follow-up examinations of these experiments, the researchers determined that there is something about a gay man's mouth and/or lips that acts as a particular tell, and by which most people can correctly identify a gay man.

As a sidenote, the author of the article I read was in fact a happily open gay man, who was actually quite pleased and enthused about real, physical things that could be pointed to in favor of showing homosexuality was an immutable, unchangeable part of a person's being. "Ms. Inappropriate" may have taken the wrong tack, but she probably wasn't wrong and probably wasn't evil.
Siante J

Oh yeah what a concept. Makes me wonder about Dyke hands (and not the poem).
Wow

Right, so, I don't personally agree with her at all but I have to say that she did clarify that NOT ALL GAY MEN have them. Therefore, her point was that if you have them (presumably as a man), you're (probably?) gay, but you don't have to have them to be gay.

Again. I don't agree, and I think she may have been a bit drunk and ...questionable in the brain pan, but...