10 Women Hotter Than Marge (Playboy Messed Up)

In case you missed the news (and the image above), Playboy recently revealed their November 2009 cover, which features none other than Marge Simpson. Yes, Homer’s blue haired, yellow skinned, nasally voiced sweetheart is gracing the front page of the landmark men’s magazine.

You’re probably asking yourself the exact same thing I did, Why?

Well, being that this is The Simpsons’ 20th anniversary I hear that the editors of Playboy felt it was a fitting way to pay tribute to the longest running animated series and its iconic cast.

Okay, but that still leaves me with one question.

The same question actually.

Why?

Although I’ve never read Playboy (maybe once and I’ve written for Penthouse, as well as King) I always thought that the magazine was about highlighting the hottest of the hot. I know she’s just an animated character, but has anyone ever looked at Marge and thought sexy?

I’m sure Homer does, but for all the other red blooded men in the real world, I think not.

Now, that’s not to say that a grown man can’t find a cartoon sexy, because if you’ve been reading for a minute you’ll remember when I did a “Celebrity Crush” post (CLICK HERE) on Cheetara from Thundercats.

Any man that says he never had a kiddie crush on a cartoon character or two is a damn liar because I’ve had plenty of grown man conversations with the homies about a few animated hotties. I’m just man enough to admit it.

In fact, I went as far as to compile my own personal list of the Top 10 Hottest Animated Women That Should’ve Gotten the Playgirl Cover Before Marge Simpson. Truthfully, I thought of a way more than 10 (peep the bonus gallery afterwards) but I just didn’t want to O.D.

What do you think about Marge Simpson being on the cover of Playboy? Is it distasteful for a cartoon character that appeals to kids to be on a men’s magazine? Do you think Marge deserves it or are there hotter cartoon characters than her? What do you think of my list of hot animated chicks? Who did I leave out? Anyone else willing to admit to having a crush on a cartoon character as a kid?

Speak your piece and enjoy…

10. BETTY BOOP (THE PROTOTYPE)

I’ll admit that with her big bobble head, Betty Boop never really did it for me but she is an iconic female character that set the stage for animated sexiness. She’s been around since the 1930s and still has a loyal following. My man Popeye should have holla’d at her instead of Olive Oyl, IMHO.

9. AEON FLUX (THE DOMINATRIX)

When I finally got cable and access to MTV, Aeon Flux was one of my secret binges. Yeah, she’s skinny and has a penchant for skintight leather, but Aeon was one sexy secret agent. Yeah, she died at the end of every episode but she was always resurrected much like the bulge in my teenaged pants.

8. SHE-RA (THE SEXY KID SISTER)

I was a huge He-Man & the Masters of the Universe fan growing up and when I found out that Prince Adam (aka He-Man) had a twin sister I was geeked. Finally, I had another cartoon chick to look at besides the Sorceress, Teela and Evil-Lyn. The last two actually weren’t that bad, but a growing boy needs more eye candy.

7. JOSIE & THE PUSSYCATS (THE FELINE TRIO)

I can’t even front and say I watched this cartoon (or read the comics) on the regular, but the idea of three women in cat suits is all I need. Besides, there weren’t many African-American cartoon characters so the fact that Josie rolled around with sweet soul sister Valerie Brown is a plus. Not to mention, this show gave little boys an excuse to say pu**y without getting in trouble.

6. BARONESS (THE BAD GIRL)

When it came to G.I. Joe there were very few female characters. While the Joes had Lady J and Scarlett to distract them, Cobra had one lady holding it down and that was the Baroness. Her main squeeze was Destro, who I swear was a brother up under that metal mask, and she took no junk from no one. She was a ride or die chick that loved wearing black spandex. I bet when those glasses came off she was a real freak behind closed doors.

5. WONDER WOMAN (THE AMAZON)

I don’t even know what you call that outfit Wonder Woman used to rock, but I liked it. She had legs for days and some knee-high red pumps that had Batman and Superman fawning all over her in the Justice League. Who could blame them? I mean what man wouldn’t want to get tied up by the Queen of the Amazons? She could throw her Lasso or Truth around me any time.

4. APRIL O’NEIL (THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN)

When you have a show like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where your main characters are four talking turtles and a giant talking rat, you have to have a little T&A to balance things out and April was definitely that. Prancing around the sewers in her yellow jumpsuit made my Saturday mornings that much brighter.

3. ROGUE (THE BODY)

For the record, I was highly disappointed by the casting in the X-Men movie. No offense to the young lady that got the part, but they did my girl Rogue totally wrong for the Hollywood franchise. The Rogue I grew up on was a hot country girl with a bangin’ body. The only problem was you could look but not touch, because any skin-to-skin contact would drain your life force. Oh, the agony.

2. CHEETARA (THE COUGAR)

Yeah, I already gave Cheetara her own post but y’all don’t know how I feel about my Thundercats heroine. Maybe I just have a thing for feline-like women (i.e. the aforementioned Josie & the Pussycats) but Cheetara was a definite dime in my eyes. Plus, you know she had a thing for younger guys the way she would look at Lion-o on the low.

1. JESSICA RABBIT (THE BOMBSHELL)

No matter how many times someone makes a hot cartoon chicks list, you can never do one without including the illustrious Jessica Rabbit. She was shaped like an hourglass on tilt and her name is a commonly used to describe a fine woman. Hands down Jessica Rabbit is the G.O.A.T. (Greatest On-Screen Animated Tease)—especially when she’d say, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” Too bad all that “badness” was wasted on a cornball like Roger Rabbit, but, hey, maybe we all had a chance.

UPDATE: CLICK HERE to see my photo gallery of other hot animated chicks that didn't make the top 10 but deserve recognition. Enjoy!

UPDATE 2: CLICK HERE for the official Marge Simpson Playboy spread.