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Do Women Fall For Pickup Lines? (Tips For Guys)

Posted by NWSO • October 19, 2009 • Printer-friendly

People often ask me where all the good men and women are. Honestly, they’re all out there it’s just a matter of sorting through all the BS candidates to find the right man or woman for the job. Before there can be a selection process, though, there has to be an approach.

In the past I’ve suggested that women try approaching men and even got a few tips from eligible bachelors but most ladies balk at that idea, citing issues of that being a “man’s job.” If that’s the case that leaves courtship initiation up to hapless men, who nine times out of 10 don’t have a clue of how to approach women.

That’s probably why a lot of guys rely on pickup lines as a way of breaking the ice or masking the nervousness of making the first move. I’ve never been good at that sort of thing and with good reason.

Being an only child for 10 years and just the nature of my job as a writer, I have a vivid imagination. With that said, a ton of ideas pop into my head all the time. A couple years ago while sitting on the train, I randomly came up with a pickup line that I’d probably never have the balls to actually try but it’d be nice for a movie scene.

Imagine a man walks into a train car, museum, or any other public space with strangers and sees an attractive woman. He positions himself next to her, but doesn't look or stare directly at her. Once posted alongside the woman, he pulls out a digital camera and extends his arm out to take a self-portrait that includes her in it.

By this point the woman is probably giving him the WTF?!?!-face. Before she bugs out completely, he shows her the camera’s screen and says, “I just wanted to see if we looked good together. What do you think?”

I figure one of two things could happen. A) She thinks he’s a psycho and runs away after destroying his camera. B) She smiles and strikes up a conversation.

If I were a betting man, I'd lean towards option A being the more popular reaction. Since I value the cost of my digital camera and like the idea of it remaining in one piece, I would never ever actually try anything remotely close to this in real life but I’m sure it’s not the worst thing a woman has heard or seen from a man attempting to “kick it.”

I think the reason guys resort to pickup lines and the like is because most of us don’t know how to approach a woman. Of the myriad of reasons for this could be nervousness, fear of rejection, and just not knowing better—sometimes young boys just mimic the lame game of the men before them. In an effort to break the cycle and help the dating lives of singles, I figured I’d just ask y’all.

Ladies, how would you like for a man to approach you? Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you? What do you think of my digital camera pickup line? Would something like that ever work or is it just asking for a beatdown? What are some of the most creative pickup lines that you’ve heard from a guy? Did it actually work? What are some of the worst pickup lines you’ve ever heard? Fellas, how often do pickup lines work for you? Do you find it hard approaching women at times? If so, why? Would you prefer it if women approached you sometimes?

Speak your piece…

Tagged as: battle of sexes, communication, dating, fear of rejection, kicking game, pickup lines

da ThRONe

I never use pick up lines thats so corny! I think if a chick likes you she will help you out(unless your extremely corny).
http://www.brooklynsouljewelry.com Angie

I agree, pick up lines are corny! The two worst ones I've heard are "your father must have been a terrorist, cause girl, you the bomb!" and "you have any kids? wanna make one?"
Adovian

Ok, I was just approached by this guy, whom was attractive by the way... he said" your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day. The funny part was I just left the gym, so I commented on what he said and told him" yes, my feet are tired I've been on the treadmill for an hour.... LOL:)
Elle

Ladies, how would you like for a man to approach you?
- Hm, I'm usually not really approachable because when I am out and about I'm lost in my own zone, my own little bubble, my thoughts. And while I am aware of my surroundings from a saftey angle, I do not really pay attention to the men around me. So a good way to approach me is to do something situational. That way I can remain in my zone while allowing communication with the outside world. Ask me what book I am reading, how the food is that I am eating, whether I know where such and such is. Nothing fancy, nothing super creative. Just something that doesn't sound fabricated but individually because it pertains to me and the situation at hand. Make it about "me" and not about wanting to pick up "just any chick" that is willing to talk to you..

Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you?
- The gym. Puhlease, save your lines for the chicks who go to the gym all dolled up and with layers of make up on. Their only purpose is to meet guys. But when you see a woman sweating and actually working out, leave her alone.
Another time is when I am already involved in a conversation. It disturbs my flow when a guy just pops in and says something along the lines of "I don't mean to interrupt but ..." Yea well homie, if you don't mean to interrupt, then don't.

What do you think of my digital camera pickup line? Would something like that ever work or is it just asking for a beatdown?
- Tough call. My firs reaction after reading it was a slight smile. But then I know myself. Something like this needs numerous variables to be in place and that makes it a dangerous approach. Too many things you cannot control increase the risk of rejection. It would work if my mood was good and if I thought the guy was attractive. In any other case, I'd give you the "run for your life" look.

What are some of the most creative pickup lines that you’ve heard from a guy? Did it actually work? What are some of the worst pickup lines you’ve ever heard?
- Not sure. I don't remember specifically creative or terrible lines I was ever approached with. And they do not matter anyways. Oh no, wait, I just remembered a corny one: I was wearing the cliché "I (heart) NY"-shirt and was waiting for the subway when a guy approached me and said he loves NY too and we should go there together sometime. *blank stare* Um yea, ok. I do not remember what he looked like. But I was engaged at the time so it wouldn't have worked even if he was my type.

If I dig a guy, his line can be corny and I'd still continue talking to him. In the same breath, his approach can be as creative as possible but it won't matter if he is not my type or I'm not in an approachable mindset.
Normally, I like "randomness" like for example a guy who was waiting for the trolley with me and complimented me on my perfume. Or another one who saw me at the stop 2 or 3 days in a row and just decided to strike up a convo since we used the same trolley everyday. Another one inquired about the green tea frappucino I was drinking to start a conversation. Just simple, momentary things. I don't think men have to put that much thought into approaching women. Notice something unique about her or the situation and use it to your advantage. That's really it - at least I think so.
http://amplifiedgrammar.blogspot.com/ AmpGeez a.k.a Get Rich Or Blog Tryin’

Sometimes a good corny pickup line is a good ice breaker lol. Nothing sexual or raunchy, just something to get her to crack a smile.

My thing is to try and be spontaneous. Most woman can smell some premeditated BS a mile away. I never compliment a woman's physical attributes. At least not the obvious ones anyway. Most guys fall into that trap. I try to find something unique about the female, her style, a detail or attribute that might go unnoticed by most men. Avoid being generic at all costs lol.

But when it's all said & done, if she's interested, as long as you don't completely embarrass yourself, you can say whatever and she should be with it.

Now, there's something slightly off putting about a female approaching me. I have females giving me non verbal rhythm all the time, but a female trying to bag me? Aggressively?

Shit just don't feel right.

Maybe I'm just so used to being the aggressor that I'm still not quite sure how to deal with it when the roles are reversed.
http://www.kmpblog.com KMP

LOL, I like the pickup line used in this post. As I read it, I was like WTF, when he pulled the camera out and tried to take a pic, but then after hearing the reason, I smiled, and yes I would strike a conversation, because the dude actually "tried" and got creative with it. Even if I wasn't attracted to the person, I would give him the time, for his creativity.
I personally dislike lame pick up lines or moves. The following are pickup lines and/or moves that will get you hurt:
Grabbing me by the arm or waist at a club
Yelling from across the street, "hey ma, can I holla at you for a minute"
Anything that involves the junk in my trunk

The thing about pickup lines/moves is simple: be creative, confident and charming, if u can pull that off you'll get the time of the day. Also, don't be discouraged if a girl isn't falling for ur moves, not everyone likes the same thing, or if they give u the time of the day but not the digits, it doesn't mean u should give up, maybe that girl has a man...Go after the next girl, at least now u know ur move works..

Arie Rich
http://www.KMPBlog.com
http://spinsterstravels.wordpress.com/ Spinster

Being dignified would be nice instead of shit like this. http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/ (Actually had to submit an entry to them not too long ago, sadly enough.)
http://twitter.com/deeny Deeny

@ Elle - EXACTLY! U hit the nail on the head.

I think the most important aspect of "kicking game" is NOT to "kick game" lol. Like Elle said, being specific to the women & the moment is key. If u do that, then it becomes honest interest instead of a random "holla". It really is hard to say "just approach a woman with ur honest interest!" because no one wants to be shut down when they're being totally themselves without the "this is my trying to bag u steez, if you ain't down then it's on to the next one, cause u weresn't my type that much anyway....nah my feeling ain't hurt...." armor. But most likely, being geuinely interested raises ur chances of "baggin'" her. Besides, any decent guy who is looking for women he can date and have fun with who are decent like himself REALLY wouldn't or shouldn't want a woman who gets open off of generic game! Why not weed out the undersireables from jump?
Mz. Ashley

I am easy to approach so the pick-up lines are pretty cute and funny to me. I think it is cute to see a guy try and be all nervous when approaching you. If it is too corney though...they gots to go! The digital camera line is a good one! I think i might fall for that one if it ever happend! Then if the relationship last, you will always have that pic of when ya'll first met....awwww!!!
Potato w/ Jive

Yknow living in NYC you see this alot and it always bugged me out to see dudes straight stop in their tracks and try to holler at a girl walking by. "Hey shorty... Hey beautiful" or whatever game cats THINK they have with that mess.

I may be wrong but not ONCE, not EVER have i seen that work. I dont think that exchange ever ends up with the girl going "Yknow what? hi, there. You just wooed me with that back there. You seem intelligent and charming, lets get together."

One female friend of mine brought up a good point regarding cat calling like this. That its not even meant to impress the girl usually. Instead, its to try to impress the other single dude with him. She might have a point as these fools roll in teams. Dummies.

Get your game up fellas. Stop harassing these fine ladies on the way out the subway. ESPECIALLY dont try to kick game just before asking for a free swipe!
Rastaman

The big lie is that women don't respond to pick up line!!

Women respond to pick up lines from men they find attractive period. Anything else you hear is bull, there are exceptions of course you may attract a particular woman's attention on a given day with something she finds particularly funny. But generally the rule applies.

I always laugh when I hear women comment about how they wish a man would just come up to them and say "hello"! More BS. Most women are just as superficial as men they just do not voice it. My girl is always talking about how I make surface judgements about people, yet all her friends are these attractive women and men. Coincidence, I think not, she just do not want to acknowledge that she is indeed superficial.

The same goes for women and pickup lines, why am I so convinced because the 2 of my boys who have picked up the most women randomly are constant purveyors of pick up lines. Not the corny stuff they shovel to us in men's mags but the stuff that is a direct comment on that specific women. Still a line just more original and just as meaningless.
Vie Amoureuse

--how would you like for a man to approach you? -i like when a man approaches me wit an "honest" agenda..meaning hes going to be real from the start of the conversation ti lthe end..lol..including corny ass jokes if thats who he really is.
--Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you?-i cant necessarily say there is a place and timea amn shouldnt approach you..actually yea at a funeral or something..that would just be rude..
--What do you think of my digital camera pickup line?- i actually found it kinda cute lol..it was funny..and the kind of person i am i wouldnt break uyour camera i would most likely laugh and start a conversation..but everyone is different.
--Would something like that ever work or is it just asking for a beatdown?-its not askin for a beatdown in my opinion just a really good laugh..
ThaGoddess9

hmmm...

I approached my man first...9 years later, he's still here. We use pick-up lines on each other all the time now! lol But at the onset, I just spoke to him, and he to me. He has a lot of game, but didn't 'use' it on me. He was just REALLY honest. I loved it.
D*A*V*I*D*A

the worst pick up line i've ever heard was from a guy while i was down in New Orleans. He walked up to me and said.....I got an erection, and a pocket full of protection. what are you doing later on?
Needless to say, that line didn't work....AT ALL!
im corny but i actually like your camera idea
DC Man With a Plan

The camera idea is GREAT....on paper: ALL of the women who have read it, are all giggles...... but don't try that on the street! I think pick-up lines are more likely to work if they contain humor...U make a woman smile and laugh--you're in there! Personally, I don't work with pick-up lines. I'd rather just put myself out there on the real and live or die by my intelligence, decent looks and humor.....And of course, if you're at a bar, the willingness to buy a drink or two goes a long way also.
That Guy

Big Boi of Outkast said it best:

"I don't have any game, chicks just respect my story"

I don't use lines, I take the situational approach. Simple comments go the furthest, while being overly aggressive will get you no where. Women want to be comfortable so I stay away from intrusive or too inquisitive comments to begin with, and try to find that vibe. Notice the details in the situation or the women your approaching, and she will likely be intrigued by your attention to detail.

Overall, I try to be myself and make a friend, after were friends we can both figure out what our other "intentions" may be and how to best execute against them.

- "Have you ever heard of a player with no game, told the truth to get what I want, and shot it with no shame"... words to live by
LDP

Guys who use pick up lines are always "red flags"!

These men usually have a motive or some tiype of hidden agenda. They use these lines to run game or simply because they clearly have nothing else to say and nothing to offer!

I would much rather a man come up to me and say "hello, how are you?"

I mean have some class! Seriously!
Cherries

It's so funny that u mention that as a pickup line becuase it happened to me last Friday night. I didnt think he was serious, but I actually let him take the picture. He showed me the photo and said ,"I knew we would look good together!!" Then he proceded to ask me for my number, I hesitated at first but I figured why not he has a sense of humor and I liked that. I also liked the fact that he also wasn't afraid to approach me cause I was with 10 of my girls that night. The worst pickup line I ever heard was "Girl.....I saw you across the way and had to come holla cause you tha baddest B*tch in here." I just looked at him and walked away I just knew he wasnt serious, cause I heard him say the same thing to another girl five minutes earlier.
Shequita

Whats up with the "where yo man at" line?...I get it...your asking if I have a man while implying that your interested, but dont!! Or more creative "you married??...accepting applications??"... Or "hey ms lady"..that will get you a hello back, but you must have some nice conversation backing that "hey Ms. Lady"

Just yesterday I was getting my kids out the car and this man said "hey Ms. Lady"...I acted like I didnt hear him and he said it again..so bein in the south, he might actually just be saying hello..so I said "hello"..then this fool had the nerve to say "lookin real nice I need to come roun' here more often"......I was goin into my apartment..not appropriate AND with my children..NOT APPropriate!!! I've been approached numerous times with my children and don't u dare call them cute then ask for my number!! Most men just tell me to smile, then they strike conversation...because I've been told I have a "don't phuck wit me" disposition..but I don't try to look mean... and If you didnt catch me smiling or glancing at you...dont try

I would rather a man say "hello" and actually hold a conversation leading up to the exchange of phone numbers and most likely I'll take yours and you cant have mine... phone must be on and dont tell me to call after 9!!!!
Shequita

and camera line was cute..I'd laugh! On first date with my husband we passed a mirror and he said "we look good together"...I wasnt feelin him that much at the time so I sorta cringed...but hey 4 yrs later wre got hitched!
http://www.Michelle-Huxtable.com Michelle Huxtable

I think pick up lines only work when you're purposely being corny. Like when a guy uses one of those Fresh Prince lines, "I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of yall!" then it it's hilarious. Otherwise, I don't think they work.
Wilder

How would you like for a man to approach you?

I'm content with someone starting a casual conversation. Hell, talk about the weather or any "safe" convo starter gets a thumbs up from me. The point is to keep talking to me, I might ask for your number before you ask for mine.

Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you?

5 o'clock on the train...don't even think about it.
Other than that think of times you don't want to be bothered...when you're in a rush and look like it. However, this guy approached me while I was on the phone.

What do you think of my digital camera pickup line?

I would laugh, I understand you guys have to think of an icebreaker.

What are some of the most creative pickup lines that you’ve heard from a guy? Did it actually work?

I don't even know there's so many. Most of the time I laugh which I think that's the object to a pick up line to get me to smile. Though a lot of guys strike out because they don't have a follow up.

Now, I do a lot of approaching, but it's always nice for someone to go out of their way to get my attention. My approach (you've already posted it) is to smile, but one guy was a nervous wreck when I did it lol.
da ThRONe

@D*A*V*I*D*A

LOL! Thats was a song down here thats was popular for a long time.
Cali

I think the pick-up line in the post was cute! I would have definitely smiled at the gesture, but I would have simply walked away. Although pick-up lines are sometimes cute. They seem to be really corny to me. I like a man that is confident in himself, not arrogant or conceded but CONFIDENT. Not nervous or lost. By a man showing confidence it makes the attraction way better. It's like selling a piece of candy. If you are confident in convincing someone that this candy is the bomb and they should buy a piece. They will want to try it, taste it. Just from the approach of how your trying to sell the candy, as women our mouths will be watering and possibly drulling, breaking our necks to buy a piece. But if you come and try to approach us with this piece of candy and aren't sure how to sell it or what to say about the candy. Were not convinced that we even want to taste it. So what do us females do then? We pass it up. I'm all about a man's swag. How he comes together as a whole. I don't want anyone corny, or shy. There is no need. Rejection is a part of life. Everyone goes thru it one time or another. It's all about getting back up, moving, on and finding what fits you. But always be confident in yourself and whoever u set out to meet. No corny ass line's. Just come straight up!

***Maturity is a big thing when meeting or interested in someone. Being corny & whack ass lines don't fall under that catagory.
BMW2K

^^^^^^^ Ditto @ Cali

OT ---- Niiiice blog.
sanqura

All I want is a brotha to ease into my space without being all nasty. The nasty stuff can come later once we get to really know one another. Ease in with a smile and act like you grown and you have home training. I'm just saying.
daf

your pickup line definitely made me laugh and I would invite you for coffee just coz you were that original !!

pickup lines, if used wisely, can be a very good way to brake the ice. Something light something funny , something that brakes the routine will always lead to a enjoyable conversation with me even if there are no follow-ups.
Neska

ur pick up line is damn bold and creative I'll give u that . If a guy wants to approach me, maintaining eye contact with a smile followed by a charming "hello" is the ultimate ice breaker
single24

I think the camera line was so cute. But quite corny, almost as corny as the "what's your first name, I already know your last name" line. I was born and raised in Chicago, so I growing up I was used to not talking to strangers, it was practically taboo for a stranger to walk up to you and start a conversation with you. It becomes second nature to kind of assemble an invisible wall between yourself and others when you go out your front door when you're in the city. And when you're cute, you come up with added ways to rebuff unwanted attention from men. It becomes second nature.

But when I went to college in the south, southern hospitality just hit me in the face. I was so unused to just holding random conversations with strangers, I realized I was seriously lacking some social skills. But in the city, I can be stuck on the train for half an hour at a time and not speak to anyone, its a wonder that city folk(LOL) ever make any new friends. Now that I am used to striking up conversation with strangers, it wouldn't alarm me if a guy approached me. But if I take his number,I am not interested. If I give him mines... Doesn't matter where I am, if I catch your attention, you might as well speak to me. As long as I am listening to you, you have my attention (the hard part is keeping it). Now that I think about it. the whole striking a conversation with a women would probably only be possible in the south. Sorry, but city girls have their force fields up when they step out. So I guess city guys are stuck with trying to match the right approach with the right girl to get her to lower her guard. But never approaching, never gets it down, so I say keep trying.

P.S. My mother told me once when I was afraid to ask her for something that the worst she could do was say NO. When I thought about it, I realized that if she says no I will be back where I started. And then not asking still meant I didn't get what I want and missing out on what I wanted because I was afraid to ask for it didn't make sense to me anymore. I would rather have an obstacle so I can figure out a way around it. Let's just say since then, I have become very good at convincing my mother to give me what I wanted. lol
CAMELOTSKING03

PICK UP LINES I FEEL ARE A WASTE OF TIME. I FIRMLY BELIEVE IN THE DIRECT APPROACH. ALTHOUGH SOME PEOPLE MIGHT TRULY BELIEVE IN THE LINES THEY USE, BUT WHAT DO THEY DO FOR AN ENCORE. PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO USE LAME-ASS PICK-UP LINES DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER. AS FAR AS SOMETHING MEANINGFUL THAT LINE HE GAVE YOU WAS THE BEST HE HAD TO OFFER.
Anonymiss

LMAO @ that whole digital camera scenario. I think in most circumstances that would turn out very bad if acted out.... I know i'd be really creeped out but if dude is real sexy and has a really smooth follow up then it could go somewhere.... but um... i wouldnt use that one too often fellas.

How do I like to be approached by men?? Hmm... i wouldn't say there's one right way. I just like for the guy to be genuine. I hate it when guys feel like they need to be extra "raw" when they're tryna bag w/ their friends around. It's like they try and be xtra cool and sometimes its just too much. I like to be approached in a respectful & relatively nonsexual manner.

I'm really not down for the whole chicks approachin dudes thang.... I feel like it just fucks up the whole natural order... && it ruins the fun on our end lol. It's no fun having a guy already know you're feelin him from the start... like i'll send you signs to let you know but I don't want you to know that you got me like that too early cuz guys get too excited and that's when they start acting up... when they know they got chu. So I'd rather make him work for it. Plus, dudes stay complainin about women tryna take on their roles so this is one area where i'm really willing to let them be a man....