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Do You Believe in New Year’s Resolutions? (I Believe in Me)

Posted by NWSO • January 4, 2010 • Printer-friendly

Welcome back! I hope everyone had a safe holiday season (whichever you celebrate) and New Year’s. I spent mine south of the border toasting the day of my birth, a stressful yet successful year and making it to 2010. Thanx again to all those that sent birthday love and supported the blog in ’09.

Usually around this time is when everyone starts making all these resolutions and promises for change in the New Year. Unfortunately, the average person falls off the proverbial wagon by March—if not sooner. That’s why I’ve never been big on resolutions, especially ones tied to the start of a new year. If someone genuinely wants to make changes in his or her life it shouldn’t be tied strictly to the month of January.

I come from the school of thought that we all experience something new every day and as a result of those experiences we’re constantly changing. With that said, I focus on the day-to-day as opposed to clumps of 365 sequential days. I don’t know about y’all, but that seems like a much smarter alternative to a New Year’s resolution.

But I digress…

Thinking back to this time last year… But wait; since I have a blog I can just CLICK HERE to see what my state of mind was heading into 2009.

I was actually going to write something completely different until I re-read that post just now. It’s interesting to see how much has changed and what remains the same. Instead of my boss getting fired at the top of ’08, it was my turn to receive a pink slip just three weeks into 2009. Nine months later, though, I was back in the saddle and getting a smaller but regular check and I’m appreciative.

My relationship with my father is still a work in progress and I’ll admit I have to put a little more effort into building that up in 2010.

Meanwhile, my own journey of personal growth has continued, thanks in part to my second time participating in Ramadan and fasting—emotionally, spiritually and physically—for 30 days but that was only a catalyst for change. My quest to be a better person is a constant one and that won’t change in 2010.

The blog has grown by leaps and bounds in the past year—going from MySpace as a hobby to Blogger as a budding brand to a full fledged website that re-launched a year ago today. I truly appreciate all of you that have followed me through each of those steps and those that are new to the NWSO experience.

It’s because of each of you that I’ve been able to discover different elements of my craft and I’m grateful for the fact that y’all allow me to be creative with my writing and are open to different formats. It’s also thanks to your continued support that my erotica series, Wet Wednesdays, was able to win the Judges’ Vote for Best Blog Series in the 2009 Black Weblog Awards.

But I digress…

If you asked me last year if I had a resolution for 2009 and I’d tell you I didn’t have one, my only focus was to make it through the year. Clearly I did and I’m stronger for it. I wake up each morning with a list of goals for the day and somehow I found my way.

The other day someone asked me on Twitter if I had any resolutions for 2010 and my answer was the same as the year before: I don’t have any. I will say this, though, I do plan to stop talking about writing a book and finally get started on a draft. There are a lot of ideas in my head and I need to just buckle down and do it.

As crazy as it may sound, the idea of writing a book has always scared me. The thought of creating a compelling story arch that spanned over the course of chapters and hundreds of thousands of words is intimidating even to me, but if I’m able to crank out blogs for you guys on the daily then anything is possible.

With that said, I may start taking more time to myself in 2010 to write up more chapters than blogs. Hopefully, you guys/gals will understand that if I break from the five posts a week schedule. Also, I look forward to more readers submitting guest blogs for the site to help a brother out. It’s been a one-man show for a year-and-a-half now and I ain’t too proud to ask for a little help. So if you got something to share with the rest of the Sock Heads or have ideas you can always hit me at NakedWithSocksOn@gmail.com.

Do you believe in New Year’s resolutions? If so, do you usually fail or succeed at accomplishing them? How long does it take for you to fall off the wagon? What’s the most unrealistic resolution you’ve ever made or heard about? Do you think it’s better to work on daily goals rather than a yearlong goal? What are your resolutions for 2010? Would you be disappointed if I slowed down on my blogging pace? Would you be willing to contribute a few guest blogs to the site? Are you looking forward to a NWSO book? What would you like to see me write about in a book or novel?

Speak your piece…

Tagged as: goals, Guest Blogs, life goals, New Years, resolutions

Anike Love

I stopped making New Years resolutions a long time ago because I realized that they cause me to put unnecessary pressure on myself, and I just don't life that seriously. Also, due to some personal unpleasant tendencies, I pretty much swore off real-life lists (um, as opposed to blogging-world lists, because here, they're fun!), so a list of New Years resolutions just won't work for me.

I think it's better to work on daily goals rather than year long goals because daily goals allow you to aim your target based on present life circumstances, rather than making a goal on January 1st which may not even be relevant to your life come June 1st. I feel it brings more balance to your life this way, and ultimately more happiness.

Good luck writing your book, from your blog posts, I can tell that it would be amazing!
http://www.metanotherfrog.com/?cat=15 Sam Sharpe

I'm with Anike Love on this one. It sounds kind of lame, but I just try to be a better person each day--whether that's in the workplace or in my relationships with friends and family.

I think by adopting this approach I've been able to accomplish many of the things I've wanted to and don't see the need for New Years resolutions. But that's just what works for me, everyone should do what works for them.

Good luck with the book, and may 2010 be filled with blessings.
Elle

No resolutions for me. However, I do make to-do-lists and stick by them. Difference for me is that resolutions usually incorporate a life style change for most of us. And that's much harder to do than to check off things on some sort of "bucket list".

So for what it is worth, if there is anything I want to do and have been putting off, I will make note of it at the beginning of the new year and plan the necessary steps to "just doing it".
So I do have wishes for the new year and I will do what's in my power to make them into realities. But I refuse to put pressure on myself by calling these goals resolutions.

I love the book idea and look forward to reading it one day. Me guest blogging though? Unlikely ...LoL.
BMW2K

Happy New Year.

I have never been big on resolutions because I hate to set myself up for failure. I tend to just do what needs to be done, taking each day as it comes.

I will admit though, that every year I look back on my days as a wife and mom and try to assess where I fall short. Then I try to make a change. This year I am striving to not murder my oldest son. If he makes it to June with all teeth intact, then I think I am doing well.

Writing a book is indeed a feat. I know two people who have been working on books. One found her passion, wrote the book, and self-published in less than 2 years. The other has been working on it for 10 years and still can't get past the outline. I am not sure what the secret is, but I admire anyone who has the discipline (and time) to sit still long enough to do it.

Anyhoo - blessings and prosperity to all in 2010.
Private Dancer

Right off the top I gotta say this- NWSO was one of the favorite additions to my life in 09. So thanks Anslem for keeping real over here.
So yea, I'm with the growing and bettering yourself everyday philosophy too. Not just at the top of the year. Just like we don't wait until Valentine's to say I love you, or the holidays to give a gift, or St. Patty's for a beer... you feel me?
Lonias

#1 I can't wait for your book!
#2 I am thinking along the same vein concerning resolutions. I have never been one to pledge any resolutions because I always knew I would just fall off and disappoint myself. This year, I am setting ATTAINABLE GOALS leading to a desired result. I have a lot of old mindsets to overcome, like "go to college>get a job>retire" and overcoming these is my first order of business. It's just basic "life planning" so...back to basics!
Righteous Mama

Nope, I have no need for resolutions and such either. As far your book goes, you should already know, homie. That's a best-seller waiting to happen. Had to check in with ya....back to business though. I'm crazy proud and happy for you. You deserve all present and future success. You're a hardworking man. Gotta respect that. You gonna hear from me too.
capricorn

No resolutions this time. Only SMART goals. Get finances in order. Get house in order. Get life in order, generally. I have specific goals for those items that I will write out and give time frames to within the next week. (Goal #1 accomplished!!)
Ayanna

I am all for New Year resolutions, because I know that I can stick to them. Once I have a plan in hand, then it's all systems go, which is how I lost 40 pounds last year (sparkpeople.com). Just took my before pix for my latest body challenge, I'm going to be sure to show everyone the end result!

I'd have to think more on what I'd like to see in your book... more later
menluvmysmile

I do not believe in New Year's resolutions, rather I make an oath/to-do list for the which are really acheivable goals and very realistic to complete in a year.

The most unrealistic resolution I’ve ever heard about was an old friend had a deadline of finding a husband by the time she was 22....needless to say that it didn't happen.

I think daily and quarterly goals are much more manageable than a year long goal as it keeps thing is perspective.

I would be a little disappointed if you slowed down on my blogging pace however would totally understand as priorities change and so does life so why not the pace of your blog?

I would be interested in submitting, but am a little rusty with my creative writing. If you wrote a book I would definately buy it! As far as what you put into it, well perhaps a similar format to your blog, chapters on life, love and relationships from your point of view and with a few of our responses thrown in to be shown as examples? Who knows just throwing it out there!!!

No matter what am looking forward to what 2010 holds for me and am hoping good things for yourself and this blog!
Winter137

Important stuff first, Please take a "mini" break from blogging and write that book . I've enjoyed being involved in your growth as a person , writer, etc and feel a book is just right at this point in time.

I actually started reading this blog religiously because of the Ramadan blogs which were very interesting, unique , and inspiring.

Now New years resolutions are a must because they are invigorating to say the least. Although, some of us drop thiose goals after 3 months. many things are jump started as a result ; losing 10lbs and feeling good, working harder at work, getting financial house in order, etc.

New Years goals are a guideline for the year and takes clear stock of what a person would like to improve in his/her life.
da ThRONe

I dont see anything wrong with changing at any time. I think New Years resolutions arent anymore or less useful than using holidays to see family. What ever tool you can use for self improvement is a good thing. And bring in a new year seems like an ideal time to do so. New years gives you a set date which is good and lets face it if your not going stick to whatever your not going stick no matter when you make the change.

That being said I made a resolution this year(which I normally dont do) and Im already messing up! lol

Good to have you back Ans. Hope you had a good time man.
Lisa

I'm with everyone else who hasn't made any resolutions because I know I would just break them anyway.

Good luck on writing the book and I can't wait to read it. I'm new to NWSO so I've been playing catch up and reading everything and I'm loving it.

Thanks
jolie fatale

I decided to not do resolutions this year but to just focus on myself all 365. Its easy to set a resolution and get caught up in keeping the goal you set forth but usually the "goal" you are trying to attain is related to something else that probably needs to be fixed within you. So I'm taking a look at myself, re-evaluating and just trying to have a joyous new year and create, achieve and maintain my own happiness.
Irizle

why waiti until the new years when u have every day as a new day. if you wanna to change something, begin today.
Cytrus

The only resolution I ever really kept was not to eat chocolate. That lasted for maybe 4-5 years until I was introduced to godiva. I still only rarely eat it.

I primarily assess my life at the beginning of the year and make sure its going in the direction I want. I make changes whenever as needed, not necessarily because its New Years.
MissMe83

I used to make resolutions, then I never kept to them. So now I don't do resolutions. Oddly enough I am making some personal changes, and they do coincide with the new year. But it's not an unrealistic goal, nothing outlandish. I hate to set myself up for failure..so I start small and then work my way up.

Good luck with the book Ans, I will be sure to check it out once it hits the shelves. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this blog and I have made it part of my daily "to do" list..right after checking my email.

Happy New Year to all!
Missy

Dag! I just got turned on to NWSO and you leaving already!! No, seriously, go on and write your book. However, I'm partial to autobiographies and bios. (Yeah those Wednesday things aren't my fave). I'm not into resolutions but I notice I always clean out my house for the new year. Maybe a spiritual thing. Idk. Also I notice I think the way I'm behaving is old. Like if I do something that is foul (in my mind) I will think "I was doing that mess last year; I need to do better. But that thought comes with the action, not a premeditated list of how to fix me in the new year.

Anyway, I'm already tired of hearing "I'm going to get closer to Christ, stop smoking, and exercise more. Didn't you need Christ, healthy lungs, and exerise in Dec.? In July? Hey, you probably needed it since you entered adulthood. That's my issue with resolutions. Why wait?
b.better

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Um when I was younger I'd get all crazy with my resolutions but after my fathers passing in 2008 I have been keeping it pretty simple. So for this year my goals (not resolutions) are to be nicer because I am a bitch, think positively, and just continue on with my dreams of becoming a therapist and making a difference in this world.

Anyway I love NWSO I wouldn't mind doing a guest blog think it would be fun. So hit me up! I really hope you are writing a novel, all I ask is that its juicy and a good read! Maybe something deep and maybe with a message. Either way whatever you write you got my support

I hope you all had an AWESOME New Years, I hope you are all successful and enjoy 2010!!!
shor5ty1

Last year i had a resolution to loose some weight and I did the first and last resolution that i will be making. It was hard but worth it. I don't think you should wait for a new year to change if you want to change yourself for the better I think that the moment you realize it you should change it.
Intrepid

Hey NWSO! This is my first time posting, but I have been reading the sight and looking forward to it daily.

I used to do resolutions, but found they don't last long... so I passed this year.

I feel you on the book/fear. I've had an idea for a children's book that I've been sitting on for years and haven't gotten passed the first few pages. Most people would think how hard can it be, right?

I will support you when your book hits the shelves (eventhough I will be going through withdrawals from less blogs). Oh, maybe you can have characters made up of some of the main questions that people ask you on here. Just speak from your heart!

Anywho, I might be able to provide a guest blog... we'll see.
Amber

This is cutegirlamb from twitter who asked you about your resolutions;). Thanks for listening you really do love us as much as we love you!
I really like the way you made it a reflection of the past year. I am all for resolutions because they are smart goals (like some others have posted). I set goals about
• my finances (save a certain amt-realistic)
• working out (just keep going , it doesn't matter how much lol).
• Start journaling
•Continue to work hard in grad school...
All kinds of things because they challenge me to be better!

Get started on that book Ans your followers/readers/fans come everyday to hear what you have to say, so a book would be an awesome idea that could be a great personal achievement, and put you on a new level.
Sixpence

I am definitely not in favor of new year's resolutions. I believe that you set yourself up to fail by just throwing a random rushed thought into the air with no plan of action. However, if you have all of that outlined and actually mean to achieve it, more power to you; the rest is a waste of time and energy.
I think that small daily goals to better yourself is a better idea. Ans, I would be quite disappointed if you slowed down your blogging pace. Yours is one of the few blogs that updates daily and that doesn't focus on random celebrity madness. That being said, if you had to pull back a bit in order to supply us with your book, I would be more than willing to wait an extended amount of time for you brilliance. My preference for your book would be a conglomeration of your blogs. Love, relationships, and wet wednesdays.
ArtistActivist

I always write a list of goals at the beginning of the year. Every year I check off more than the last. So yes, I believe. I believe in the power of words, in general, so how can it not matter?

What type of book would I like to see you write? Hmmm...
I would love to read a new, solid coming-of-age story, featuring a young man who is between wanting to continue to philander and settle down. Something akin to Mo' Betta Blues (one of my favorite movies), but maybe tailored to a younger audience. With your willingness to write and talk about anything, I think it would be dope.

And I would def be willing to contribute to your blog!
Al

I don't really believe in new year's resolutions but I use them in a different way now. I just set goals that I want to reach throughout the year. I already exercise and eat healthy so I try to set a goal for myself so I'm not doing it all without any satisfaction. We all need gratification, so I just set my goals just high enough that I know I'll reach them. If I don't it's cool cause I don't broadcast what I'm doing. I don't want everybody chiming in on what I said I was gonna do and I didn't.