Does Size Matter? (What Women Say Behind Men’s Backs)
Last week I reached out to my male think tank to see what men love about women’s bodies—booty or breasts? The results were very interesting, to say the least.
Early on, though, some of the female readers made a request: “I hope you do one for us…like long tongue or long dick, lol…”
I’m always up for a battle of the sexes so turning the tables on the fellas was definitely something I was interested in doing. However, tongue vs. dick just didn’t seem to be the right analogy for the T&A Q&A.
I ruffled through my thoughts about the right poll for my female think tank and it came to me when I was flipping through channels and happened upon Juwanna Mann (probably on BET SMH). I doubt many folks have seen this B-movie or remember much of the plot, but the lead character got banned from the NBA and winds up dressing in drag to make money in the women’s league.
There was this one scene in particular where Juwanna (the guy in drag) and her/his teammates were in a hotel room having “girl talk” when the conversation turned to men. Basically, Juwanna, who again was really a guy, was getting to be a fly on the wall for a no holds barred convo on the male species.
A bunch of things women found sexy and pet peeves were revealed, including stuff like why men never call when they say they will. In an attempt to keep up, Juwanna tried to chime in:
“And what about when some men like to brag about the size of their manhood? When we know it ain't the size of the boat, baby, but the motion of the ocean… Can I get a hallelujah?”
“What you talking about, Juwanna,” someone finally responded. “The size of the boat don't matter? I want the Titanic.”
“You got that right,” the rest of the girls chimed in.
We’ve all heard that same saying before and, for the most part, a lot of men believe it. Shoot, I’m an average man and I make it do what it do.
But wait, do I?
If there was any truth to that Juwanna Mann scene and women want the Titanic, then my luxury yacht might not be enough. **Kanye shrug** At least I don’t have a tugboat.
At any rate, I’ve never had any complaints—at least not to my face—but it got me to wondering: Does size really matter?
I hit up my female think tank and got another interesting mix of answers…
“Yes, size matters—a lot. But it’s not length that matters (as much) as it is girth. I mean, don't get me wrong, and excuse my being blunt, but a dude with a super short but really thick one won't do either... I think I've said enough.”
MS. SIZE QUEEN
“Yes, size matters. I have been blessed to have blessed brothers in my life. Once you’re used to 7" and better a smaller man just doesn't do it for you anymore. I remember breaking up with a Mandingo and going to an ‘avi’ (average sized bro). When I looked at it I immediately thought about what I was missing! Not that the sex sucked, but I was disappointed. No disrespect to the small men, I just like what I like. Nice, thick, sexy chocolate that’s 7" or better, please. Also, a big dick will have you doing things for no reason, like, ‘Why did I just serve him breakfast in bed? Oh, yeah, ’cause he swinging, baby!’ LOL Big guys aren't all good in bed but automatically they feel better. Smaller guys are better for anal and might be better at oral. So if anything you can exploit each person’s talent.”
“Some well-endowed men don't know how to use what they've got and some smaller than average men know how to make up for it. BUT at the end of the day, if a man is too small, anatomically speaking, there are spots within a woman's body he just can't reach. *Womp, womp* Which leads me to my next related point; good sex DOES matter in a relationship. Anyone who says otherwise has never been in a relationship with bad sex. Period.”
“Whatever woman says it’s not about the size of the boat but about the motion in ocean is 1) Loves her dude to death, 2) Had a dude that had some dope tongue game or 3) Was with a dude that really wasn’t THAT tiny so he got a pass made possible by 1 and 2. Now, to be clear, I was one of those who talked the motion in the ocean foolishness, too, UNTIL I got a brotha with size and then thought to myself: ‘What the fuck was I thinking?!’ Like the saying goes, ‘Once you go Black you can never go back.’ Well, once you go big, it's super-size me from then on.”
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