Does [Breast] Size Matter? (What Real Men Think)

0 Posted by - February 19, 2010 - Uncategorized

zoe-saldana

Week before last I polled my female friends to answer the age old question: Does Size Matter? (What Women Say Behind Men’s Backs). The end result was a very interesting and honest discussion on what women really think about a man’s packaging.

At some point in the discussion, Da ThRONe—you’ve probably heard of him—said how the post was unfair, as it was supposed to be a response to another post dubbed, What Men Love About Women (Ass Men vs. Breast Men). He may or may not have had a point, but that conversation—coupled with the one last week about the “Angry Black Woman,” who revealed that her ample breast size was a major problem for her—got me to thinking.

Does size matter?

No, not in relation to men, but in regards to women. Do men view breasts as a sign of femininity? If so, do women who fall in the itty bitty titty committee suffer a similar fate as men who come up short in the pants?

That’s the question I posed to my male think tank, and, once again, they didn’t fail me in their honesty and bluntness. Consider this Does Size Matters, Pt. 2 (What Men Say Behind Women’s Backs).

Enjoy…

UPDATE:15 Things You Should Know About Breasts

MR. AUTHORITY
“The smaller a woman’s breasts the better her face has to be. I’ve dated every kind of size. A cups and double D’s. Round, teardrop, meaty on the sides, small nipples, giant nipples, two-tone and everything else. I certainly feel qualified to speak about this topic with a good deal of authority. A pretty chick can get away with not having the biggest breasts but a woman who is just alright at times has to go the extra mile to maintain the level of her femininity versus other larger-breasted women. The first thing I think of when I see a flat-chested woman is the ass better be big or the personality better be on-point otherwise she’s in trouble. I also assume that flat chested women may have some self-esteem issues and they may need to be reassured a lot that I still find them pretty. You just have to accept coming in to the relationship that you’re gonna have to put a lot of work in before she’s really comfortable.”

MR. ONE-IN-A-MILLION
“Even though my girl is blessed with some 36DDs, I’ve never been a breast man. The fatty and face matter more. If a chick is stacked, my attitude is usually that ain’t my thing but since you got ‘em you can bring them, too. I’ve been with a variety of titty sizes—even the chick with the two bee stings. Really doesn’t matter to me. I don’t think a woman is lacking femininity if she has small breasts. Look at Aaliyah. She wasn’t stacked but was still feminine (in her later days at least). Ciara, too.”

MR. MOUTHFUL
“Honestly, I’m not turned off my the itty bitty titty committee. A flat behind would be more disappointing. Personally, I’m an ass man, so small breasts aren’t a ‘deal breaker.’ If you’re sexy, confident and cute but got a B cup? So what! That’s a mouthful—I’m good with that. Now, if it looks like you have two mosquito bites on your chest that’s a different story. We can’t be making love and I feel like I’m rubbing another dude’s chest (Ill).”

MR. FACE FIRST
“No, I don’t equate breast size to femininity. A flat chest alone doesn’t denote a lack of femininity. Other physical attributes also play a role. She may have a flat chest, but a big booty or long flowing hair… I don’t really think anything when I see a chick with a flat chest because the first thing I’m usually drawn to are facial features. Most times I’ve already made up my mind about how attractive a woman is in my head before I even notice her chest. I’m not completely turned off by a chick with a flat chest. Actually I had an ex-girlfriend who was an A-cup but had thee fattest ass known to man. She was pretty damn sexy.”

MR. COMPLETE
“I can’t go no lower than a C cup. The lowest I’ve ever had were B’s, and although I’ve made it work for me, I need something to grip. If I’m dating a woman who is drop-dead gorgeous but is rockin’ A’s, she’ll look like an incomplete woman to me. I don’t need two bee stings!”

CLICK HERE to continue reading the guys’ brutal honesty…

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  • mizze

    UMMMM. First off, can you please do another post about men!! lol.. Im sorry but this sounds just like the other think tank you had with men…I know we have two things to be judged on (T&A) but I think the next post in this seemingly continuing body-debate HAS to be something about a man’s abs or that damn v-thing that lead to their “manhood”!!! HOTNESS!!! Damn ya’ll got other parts us females JUDGE on too..BELIEVE ME!!

    But I digress..

    I have always had tits so that was never a problem.. I have a pretty nice package behind me, but nothing to brag about at all.. I am a perfect full C, low D and dont want to be any bigger or smaller.. The bigger they are, the lower they are going to sag..sorry but its the truth.. I do envy women with smaller breasts sometimes because they can go bra-less and i would just love to do that sometimes.. I dont think it has anything to do with femininty because I believe Zoe Saldana is GORGEOUS and she has NO breasts, is she less of a woman? NO. Is she less attractive? NO. Is she less successful? Possibly but she is doing very well for herself.

    I think everyone judges everyone else..we women are just so competitive that we say something about any woman we see- but the thing that men dont seem to get is that its not always negative.. I see women with smaller breast and they tend to be thinner as well which is something most women want to be..

    I think that this whole breast vs. ass or what men think about this and that is only further causing women to hate one another as well as themselves..crap about breast implants, ass-injections, booty pads is only getting worse because women lean so heavily on having what men want and if they dont they are going to extreme measures to get. Is it really that deep? I would like to see what these “Think Tank” men look like personally.. NOT THROWING SHADE.. but I know men who say they want a dime piece but they aint worth two pennies..

    But thats just MY opinion…

    • Jimbeam

      Zoe Saldana is gorgeous, but you are wrong she does have breasts. She has very nice breasts, I like smaller size. As a male I don't like 'big breasts' and think that the media have created an environment where women feel they have to have big breasts. I think men don't care about size generally, they just like something. An personally small B cup is my favorite size. But having nothing is a bit disappointing. I currently have a gf who is flaty-chested and really like her personality and am very attracted towards her but feel sometimes that I would like to see the beauty of a pair of breasts again, and that I might have a one night standard just to see them again. This is worrying.

      • bonkylou

        Its sad. And if u ended up with a bigger breasted woman what would u think of her when they began to sag and flatten out? Cheat on her too? It shouldn’t all be about physical. If you were a good man, this thought wouldn’t cross your mind. Hope ur girl figures it out sooner than later …..poor chick

  • http://www.traumaanddrama.blogspot.com Ms. Sylaneous

    Ya know… I don’t know if I’m supposed to comment on this post or not, BUT- I will…LOL If i”m not, then delete my comment…

    Personally, I’m kinda sick of hearing ‘what women want/like, what men want/like’. You know why?!?! BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT WE SAY… we tend to still NOT gravitate towards it! (I say ‘WE’ in an effort to NOT single no particular gender out…Imma lump us all together).

    For example: I’ve heard this from guys, ‘I’m not really down for the weaves, and fake nails, and the fake eyelashes and stuff… give me a natural woman, and that’ll be fine with me’. ALLL of that sounds good, but I have YET to see many guys get all googly eyed over the India Aire’s out here. I’ve heard that and STILL see guys going bananas over Keri Hilson, Beyonce, Nicki Manaj (or however she spells her name). Don’t get me wrong- these women are beautiful to me…drop dead beautiful! BUT ummm even if it’s short hair (Keri Hilson), it’s PROBABLY still a weave… (FYI- not all of us wear weaves to ‘trick’ people… some of us do it as an ‘accessory’… I mean I might want a short ‘do’ with out cutting my hair, so I track it. I might want hair to my shoulder one month, and I can’t sprinkle fertilizer in it to make it grow, so I track it… I dont’ do it because I don’t think what I have is ‘good enough’… it’s just a part of my wardrobe…AND for people like the celebs I named…do you REALLY think they are gonna wear their real hair out and get it damaged with all of the stying and stuff they have to do? Ummm Imma go with ‘probably not’!) And I’m almost sure, that they all wear fake nails and eyelashes…SOOO my question is- why PREACH one thing you ‘want’ but ignore that when you see it on the street and google eye after the ones on tv? POSSIBLY leading us women to think that maybe I DO have to get acrylic nails to get your attention… or get long blonde weave to get your attention and what not… c’mon now fellas… just say you like the fake look…LOL it’s what you slobber over! It’s just PC to say the other stuff….
    AND ya’ll can say what ya’ll want to, but breast size and/or butt size DO matter to you fellas… unless she’s rich and willing to be a ‘suga moma’. LOL…then she can be flat as a board on top and back, and you’ll stick by her as long as the bank is a fatty. Sure Zoe is a pretty girl, BUT if she wasn’t famous, that’s the lable she’d get was ‘cute’ and chances are she’d be looked over on the ‘normal streets’. I think some of ya’ll (NOTICE I SAID SOME) would rather date a Tiffany New York Pollard (cow lookin heffa) cause she got new fake boobs than a cute lil Zoe because she has NO boobs…(and she’s such a petite young lady, she may not have much of a bottom either…*shrugs*). SO sure… say ‘size doesn’t matter’… but what you DO/DATE/SWOON OVER often times tells a different story than what your mouth/comments/fonts are saying…

    Personally for me- I like FOOTBALL big men…. But Imma equal-size opportunity dater… (LOL) I like muscular men… but I mean look at me… I’m ‘aight’ but I”m far from 100% toned, so why am I gonna discriminate against a ‘not so toned’ fella?!!?

    (sigh) I think that will be all for now…
    hehehehehehe!

  • Classic Ruby

    I am a black girl who has a bum I like to call “petite” lol. I have always had a love affair with my breasts, pretty much as soon as I grew out of the horrified pre-teen tomboy stage, but my bum has always haunted me, as I generally find my attractions to be geared toward black men, and specifically black men who are ass men :-s. But that being said, it has never stopped me from feeling like I am uber sexy, definitely the hottest in the room (not in a bitchy, conceited way, because I love being in the presence of beautiful women, and I appreciate beauty in all shapes, sizes and endowments and can admit it to myself and to everyone else around me. My parents raised me with a very healthy level of self confidence, so I always feel like I am the shit. And I have no reason to look at other women and find anything but their personal hotness factors because of my healthy attitude towards myself and my appearance)

    I don’t think that a woman’s femininity has anything to do with her breast size, although I think for many women breast size does play a huge role in their self confidence and self esteem: primarily because social influences and the media generally tell women that if they don’t measure up to some North American ideal that they aren’t good enough. As a result, although I think femininity, sexiness, and general gorgeousness are not attributed to any particular endowment, many of the women you find that have the most healthy of self confidences and self concepts probably aren’t lacking dramatically in any one area, and are definitely making up for any shortcomings in another. Of course, this doesn’t have to be the case, just what I have observed. Women like Aaliyah (my idol *tear*) or Angelina Jolie do not have the fabulous T&A and yet are two of the most gorgeous and sexy women, IMO. So, again IMO, it has so much less to do with what’s on the outside as with whats on the inside.

    While I personally can say I have converted some die hard ass men into breast men, I can also say I don’t think it’s because I am SO spectacular as to change hardened facts into whatever I will them to be lol. I think that while many people have a “type”, the preference probably has less to do with the actual physical attributes and more with the type of woman/man (personality and character wise) they associate with those attributes. Not to say some men aren’t die-hard boob/ass lovers and can’t live without it, but I think for the most part women need to stop dissecting themselves, appreciate and flaunt what they got, and stop worrying about the perceived “flaws”…real men will pick up on how much you love you and want a chance to see what all the fuss is about!! ;-)

  • mizze

    @ Ms Sylaneous

    GIRL!!! I remember saying the SAME thing on another post on here awhile back (maybe it wasnt this site..hummmm..well i dont know)!!!! I tell ALL my friends that same shit.. men will sit there and say they want ass and tits and be walking around with a freaking Paris Hilton..Something aint adding up.. and I heard the same thing from every dude I have EVER talked to- “I like a natural chick” but everytime we would go to the club or restaurant, they trying to holla at the chick with the weave down her back.. Im not saying men are hypocrites or they really dont know what they want, Im just saying im confused!! I dont get it.. Maybe somebody can clear it up for me

  • http://spinsterstravels.wordpress.com Spinster

    Men are hypocrites. That is all.

  • lola289

    shallow hypocrites… lol!

    but we luv ‘em… *rolling eyes*

    p.s. Is that New York in the 2nd pic?

  • shenice85

    I totally agree with Mizze & Ms. Sylaneous. I thought I was the only one thinking that there’s a bit of hypocrisy going on with SOME men & their “preferences”. Some women do the same thing. I think it all boils down to confusion within themselves; that they don’t even know what they really want.

    Although I’ve never been in the itty bitty titty committee (except childhood), it is insightful to see other men’s opinions on the subject.

  • da ThRONe

    There are so many other things about females that screams “I am a woman dammit” besides breast. I think its a female core area more then whats up top.

    As far as me judging a female its more about her being proportionate. Especially when it comes to breast. But like mizze already pointed out. There are some things (1main thing really) that supercede T&A. I really like women’s soft skin for instance.

  • justme

    Wellllllllllllll lets see imma keep it real size does matter on all accounts booty breast size the Big D notice i said big. As for me im a good size C good day D love my girls and I have serve my man a full course meal right of my booty but……… One of family members has those i really don’t know what bra size that could b chest but it did not come rack i brought my bra from ( E-f something like tht). She has no booty but gets mad play and it works for her .Now on the other hand i have a friend who is white and shes about a c and no booty no where and the white boys give her no play wht so ever. I think for white boys they will over look the no but they just not used to all that back there n e way but no boobs to them its a Helll no.And keeping it real i do not like taking pic with my fam with the extra girls because her rack makes my full girls look like less thn a mouthful………… truth hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    On a whole diff set of breast wtf is up with the man breast and i know u know what im talking about the men walking around that look like they need to borrow a bra ………tht is not cute at all and it seems to b becoming a trend or something i see it at the club wal mart mall grocery tht is just not right!!!!!!!!!!! U cant decide if u need to grab hold to them bad boys or hell if he suppose to grab urs ( guess u cld do both if tht works for u)

  • da ThRONe

    LOL@ women calling men hypocrites.

    You guys should be glad we can look past our preference to find a mate. Trust most black men ideal lady looks more like Alicia Keys than Paris Hilton.

  • http://www.traumaanddrama.blogspot.com Ms. Sylaneous

    @ da ThRONe I didn’t call men hypocrites… I may have HINTED at it *wink wink* but I didn’t ‘say’ it! LOL I just think that sometimes the mouths say things the actions don’t match with…that’s all I’m saying..

    And true (about lookin past the preferences)… I’m so not a lil girl (5’7 205 hard to believe, but not the ‘sloppy’ kind ya kn,ow, I was an ‘athlete’ up until last year when I got lazy! LOL) so I’d PREFER a ‘not so lil fella’, BUT the guy who has surfaced, and resurfaced, and resurfaced again in my life who I am ABSOLUTELY crazy about is so super skinny (like 6’2ish MAYBE 175 lbs- although he says more)…LOL *awwww* He’s like a lil earthworm…a long tall human earthworm..LOL but I like it… *shrugs* LOL So we look past our PHYSICAL preferences into our heart’s desires…

  • mizze

    @da Throne

    Yeahhhhhh.. OK..preference and what I see them with are two different things.. MY PREFERENCE is Reggie fuckin Bush but am I walking around with that?? NO!.. lol.. and TRUST, that is the preference most black women (as in being sexy, successful and got a sculptured body) look for in a mate.. I just find it amazing some men (not saying YOU) act like women dont look past OUR preferences to find men…HA.. that is LAUGHABLE.. trust me! I think that EVERYONE needs to be happy EVERYONE ELSE looks past preferences because I think there are more people than not trying to choose up when they need to be happy they get to choose at all..

    And I do think some men are hypocrites and that is coming from the standpoint that men can be overweight, have saggy man-titties, no job, face decent AT BEST but want a Beyonce looking female.. Im sorry that may be MY experiences, but experiences shape perceptions.. NOT saying ALL men are like this.. if someone gets offended maybe they fall in that category of hypocrisy.. and not saying women arent hypocrites as well but this is a post on men so I will respond as such

    *kanye shrug*

  • Elle

    Thought No. 1:
    Maybe THAT is the key to Shannon’s problem: the circle she runs in consists of nothing but white folks. And we all know how white men all over the globe drool over Pam Anderson and the like: stick boney, no butt and huggggge breasts. Of course she is going to get a lot of unwanted attention from them.
    Just saying ….

    Thought No. 2: I have to agree with Mizze. Men are quite hypocritical. Especially how she described mediocre looking guys EXPECTING to date Beyoncé-like women. Come on. Seriously? Whatever happened to dating within one’s league. If you’re not Tyson Beckford or Boris Kodjoe don’t act like you have any right to ridicule or talk down to women who do not look like B.

    As for the tittie topic … *shrugs* … is this a way to trick us into stating our bra size?

  • distinguishedgentlewoman

    I’m a card-carrying member of the IBC (Itty Bitty Committee), and feel that I’m blessed. I used to dance in my younger years, and felt fortunate not to have anything hindering my movement. I don’t feel less feminine because I’m not as well endowed in the breast area as other women. The females on my mother’s side of the family are all pretty HUGE up there. One of my cousins had to have a breast reduction. I’ve always felt lucky that I favored the females in my father’s family—small.

    I’ve been made fun of in front of my face and behind my back. But I have NEVER been bothered by any of it, because I’ve ALWAYS been pretty comfortable in my own skin. I have more important things to think about.

  • BMW2K

    Men aren’t hypocrites, its just that their dick wants something different than their brains.

    I was 34-20-32 when I was 14. How do I know that? I was measured for a prom dress and the A-Hole tailor thought it pertinent to let the whole fricken dress shop know. I am now a 34 DD.

    I don’t give a hoot what any man says. Most try to be PC when asked that type of question, but ALL males initially drool over large breasts – period. What separates the men from the boys is ability to get past the breasts and see the female behind them.

  • rwifey

    re: MR. COMPLETE

    the name mr. complete far from suits you.

    that it!

  • Songboy3

    I think breasts are important in some contexts and irrelevant in others.

    Large breasts can be that thing that makes a man approach a woman but they won’t be the thing that keeps him there. You better have something else going on ‘cuz if not, he’ll always be looking for the next big pair to come along.

    And of course, if you’re a woman with an out-sized personality and just have it going on in so many other ways, you might be sexy as hell to him, before the thought of your bosom really comes into the picture.

    I know a young woman from Harlem, who is a member of the IBTC (figure it out, y’all) but you wouldn’t care because of her presentation. She is definitely one of the sexiest women I’ve had the pleasure of knowing (not intimately, unfortunately-almost but not quite!) and she is an INCREDIBLY feminine creature. When I first met her in a professional capacity (I’m a musician), I never really thought of her in a sexual context. That just wasn’t where my head was. She was attractive but I was elsewhere. But as I got to know her, she seemed to become this amazingly beautiful & sexy woman with whom I was totally enamored with for a while.

    That being said: Breasts are cool, beautiful, sexy, amazing even….

    But they don’t close the deal.

  • No No

    Do you equate breast size to femininity?

    To some degree, we’re woman and it separates us from men.

    Do you view women who are flat chested differently then women that are well endowed?

    Yes, I feel bad for them. I’m sure they would like a litttle something up there.

    Were any of female readers teased for being flat chested? When I was 12… boys are cruel. I’m not even a teen yet and they want to see breast. Men hmph!

    At what age did you finally grow out? 13 or 14. Gradually went from A to small B

    If you never did, do you feel intimidated by women who are bigger up top or are you comfortable with your body?
    I don’t feel intimidated by women who have more. To each their own. Personally, I hate my breast now. 36D and its annoying. Others might like it but not me.

    Have you ever contemplated implants? N/A
    Breast Reduction on the other hand..ALL the time! But its expensive so for now Im in the gym 5 days a week trying to reduce them.

    Any top heavy women that wish they were smaller? ME!!

    Why? I wish I can take fat and tissue from my breast and put them to my butt. I like black men..correction Love them and they love butts, they can be happy with a little ass but they want a fat ass! Shit even I do. Fat asses look better than big tits (no homo) but unfortunately I’m a Dominican chick that didn’t get blessed with the enormous ass some of my cousins got. There IS something down there ( it aint flat..thank god!) but I wish I had a big donk lol Hopefully these squats n other exercises work to give me more back there!!

  • SaveMe

    I dont want to be with any man that is going to look at my breast all day. Come on grow up already. We are all picky and know what we like and dislike in a person. We all want to be happy and if you are not happy with your body then do something about

  • Music man…

    “The smaller a woman’s breasts the better her face has to be.”

    I concur!

  • Shequita

    I think I mighta came out the womb with boobs…I can’t remember not having something there! DD’s I wish they were smaller. Most black men see them as a plus for the total package, most white men can’t stop damn staring at them!! They can be too much sometimes, but I love them. I wouldn’t be proportionate without them. I dont think men are hypocrites any more than women!

    Mr. Carpenter was a mess lol!

  • Da Son

    Big breasts are dope! Hence the multi-million dollar per month breath enhancement business, there are some Plastic Surgeons that only do breast jobs and still afford the Benz, the yacht, the summer home..you feel me?

    I raise my hand -I like BIG BREASTISIS!

    I have noticed the women are tripping, I did not got soft ( pun intended) when the shorties were in search of Mandingo, it is is what is it is. You like a big dick we like big breast ( well I do ) We all know what we like, but how many of us know what we need?

    I like the complete package, brains, beauty, butt and boobs and all of my serious relations the women were rocking like that.

    If a chic is deficient in ANY of those areas she will not make my starting team. Got to make cuts before the season starts!

    She may be a member of the practice squad for a minute, but only a minute. Call me shallow but you will never get what you want if you do not know what you want.

    Side note-

    The reason boogerwolf brotha, who is overweight, with man boobs THINKS he can get a B type is because YOU women place such a premium on loot, having a man if he works on ( getting his mouthpiece, money, status right ) he can!

    I have been broke, jobless, car less and never ever suffered the lack of female companionship I keep it real and told the women what my situation was from jump and it was all good. The truth will set you free and spread legs.

    The trick to getting beautiful women is confidence.The beginning and end.

    If you do not have confidence, a big dick you better have money!!!

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    i’m cool with any breast size as long as it fits your frame. if you are 5’1″ and weight 110 pounds there is no way you should have DD’s. really i don’t want them falling to your waist either when you take your bra off. all i really need is a mouthful. *shrug* perky breasts look better to me also.

  • da ThRONe

    1st there is no substitute for a cute face none.

    Second most people are hypocrites reguardless of gender. Its stem from the selfishness that I continue to talk about that plagues our society in so many ways. People expectations of others far exceed their own expectations.

    Any body part is a personal opinion of it importance. I am a bigger fan of a nice stomach and Big DSL’s way before breast.

    And just for the record this still doesnt sqaure us with the “Does a man Penis size matter”. This is just a farther break down of the last the T&A blog. So if your a breast man then size matters if your not then you probably could care less. But this has no impact on actual sex like a sex organ. Come on Ans get this right.

  • N2Deep

    I like most men love eye candy but I hate all the stereotypes that effect people and their self esteem. I don’t think size should matter but hell society has dictated everything for longer than most of us can even remember. BIg and long (fill in the blanks)________usually gets some kind of pass cause its desireable. People look at hair, face and body first. Clothes, shoes, cars, money and status next and then eventually get to the point of beginning to know a persons heart. That is most of the problems why people can’t find anybody.

    I am one that loves me some India Airie and Heater Headley because they are both beautiful and they are expressive. They have nice bodies but to me I’m all in when I can look into your eyes and never get tired. Size is nice but I wish it wasn’t such an issue because it causes a lot of hurt to some people.

  • Shannon

    Well, I will admit I had major problems growing up regarding my breast development. I was such a tomboy; I was into just about every sport known to me and there weren’t any girl teams fo rme to join, so I played with the boys. I didn’t see myself as different so I considered myself one of the guys.

    I was about seven when my P.E. teacher sent a note home with me to give to my mother; the note said, approximately, “Please get a her a bra. She’s shaking too much and distracting my softball games,” and there I was, the only second grader wearing a B cup.

    I was in a D cup by the time I was in fifth grade. Obviously I was more noticeable by then and playing football became more of a problem; I was tackled even more at this point and most of the time I didn’t even have the damn ball, lol!

    I was wearing a 36 DD in seventh grade and by this time most, if not all, the other girls in school shut me out of the social circle. Girls being girls–anyone ever saw Mean Girls?–they spread rumors that I stuffed my bra, wore a water bra or had implants–funny, lol–and would often help boys sneak into the locker room to watch me change for gym.

    By high school, I was into a 36H. Playing football was now completely out of the question and playing basketball was becoming increasingly difficut–sports bras don’t come in such large sizes–as well as running track. When I ended up with a black eye–from hitting myself in the face with my own boobs (how embarassing is that?) during a track meet–my participation in sports ceased. By this time, it was known around school–thanks to a few messy females I had gym class with–that I was all natural and willing to sleep with anyone. Well, that was something I never did, but it didn’t stop the rumors. I simply went on with my business.

    By the time I was in my early twenties, I’d ballooned up to a 36J. By this time, I’d been married–buried him four years later–and had two children; I guess breastfeeding made my problems worse because the outfits I looked great in pre-baby made me look like a Jessica Rabbit double post-baby and I had to pack that stuff up and buy new clothes for my new shape. This was easier said than done; it didn’t matter what I chose, I just really stuck out. It was at this point in my life when the whole problem with men approaching me came into play. I had no way of knowing things would get worse in the future.

    Now at 30, I’m a whopping 36 MM. I consulted a few surgeons about having a reduction, but because of my medical history, they recommended against it. I nearly didn’t survive the anesthetia from a previous surgery that left me in a 7-week coma and shouldn’t take the chance again. So I reworked my wardrobe and started back with the gym and tried to lose some size, but to no avail.

    I believed that at this point in life men had more maturity when it came to women’s bodies and thought nothing of putting on a long blouse–it has to be long for me–and a nice pair of jeans or a knee-length skirt and going to the movies or bowling or out to eat or to the bokstore near my house. Over the past five years, I’ve encountered some men at their best–or worst, depending on how you look at it–on the bullshit spectrum and I was informed it was my fault; change the way I dressed.

    I was always a conservative dresser, favoring activewear over jeans–I wore sweats practically everyday–so I decided to stick to jeans and no skirts. No dice. Crew-neck tops and button oxford to the top. Still got the same reaction and it was still my fault. So at present, I wear scrubs to work and sweats on my down time. My skirts and blouses and dresses still reside in their plastic from the dry cleaners , where they’ve been for the past three to nine months when I stopped wearing them. Even at my graduation, I kept my cap and gown on the whole time.

    The biggest problem I have–no pun intended here–is men who look at me and think I’m hypersexual or don’t take me seriously or treat me like a dumb broad. Even when I go to the gorcery store, the clerks treat me like I’m slow or stupid or something. Because this is something I’ve dealt with for so long, since junior high or so, it’s really wearing on me. In an effort to not be blamed or found at fault, I simply stay home and no longer socialize and I’m okay with that. It’s better than the alternative for me. Sometimes it’s really not the woman’s fault; if I had control over nature, I would have liked to avoid such a fate. Having big breasts is not all it’s cracked up to be.

  • mizze

    @ Da Son

    Lets refrain from putting all women into one category please =).. I completely see your point and agree only partially with it..but not ALL women are after money..Like i said, only SOME men, NOT all men do that because I learned a long time ago that people are not the same. When I first met my man, I thought he was fine, had a car and a job but still living with his moms and going to school..He has since moved up out of that situation but that did not deter me from speaking to him because he wasnt rollin in money, I HAD MY OWN- DIDNT NEED HIS.. Say “women with NO personal ambition in life to make their own money and be an independent women who knows the value of having a good man outside of vain reasons, are after a man’s loot”

    If you didnt have a job and all that and they were still by your side that’s great.. I just always desired a man to be on my level and if he wasnt, then we wasnt.. but hey that’s me

    *kanye shrug*

  • da ThRONe

    I said this in the T&A blog. If I like you then Im going to naturally lean towards your “strengths”. The only time phyical looks matters is if I cant find anything that attracts me to you. Clearly the more things you have going physically the more you’ll catch my eye ,but you dont have to be a 10 in my book for me to treat you like it.

    Once again if I can have sex with you I can date you.

  • DC Man With a Plan

    Yo, Classic Ruby…U startin to seem REAL nice..what U know good? Anyways, I’ma claim this RIGHT now, on behalf of ALL men:
    for all the women who said, hinted at, or think: “Men are quite hypocritical.” ….Especially how mediocre looking guys EXPECTING to date Beyoncé-like women.
    We are hypocritcal, but this is the price women PAY for NOT wanting to pay for dates; for NOT wanting to initiate the dating process…lmao..Yup, it comes back to THAT! We gotta walk across the room to holla at you, open your door, pay for every damn thing, so yeah, WE do want the Beyonce lookin chick, though we may look like Eddie monsta………You want it to be different, do the damn dating process DIFFERENT. Plus, fact is, MOST women don’t look like Beyonce or Keri Hilson anymore than most men are packaged like Reggie Bush. Everybody gonna have to be a lil more realistic at the end of the day to get coupled up. lmbao…..

  • DC Man With a Plan

    To the central question of the day: women in the itty-bitty committee CAN look appealing and sexy. Most magazine and TV models are skinny and flat chested, but they make it “look” sexy and appealing so a woman CAN make it work if she has attitude, confidence and carries herself “like that.” At the same time, seeing her naked and thinkin she’s a teeny bopper CAN also be a lil unnerving (I guess bcuz I have not had this issue). But I think personality, other physical charcteristic’s and strong attraction can over come breat size as an obstacle. Flat chested women have a lot of styles and clothes they can mack in and as long as there is enuff to put a tongue on–I think I could work with a flat liner rather easily….lol
    and I agree, women need to get another topic focused on their preferences and choices about men’s bodies bcuz this one and the one about T&A kinda put men ahead in the count. (It should be noted the blog owner IS a man…so we we as men should expect some preferential treatment…wink-wink)