I noticed something interesting the other day that I’m not sure anyone else caught. As I was reading through the comments on Thursday’s blog, “Do You Keep Relationship Mementos? (Metal Memories),” one in particular stood out.
NWSO regular, Elle, wrote:
“I have keepsakes such as cards, photos, movie tix, plane tix, items which remind me of a certain day/date, gifts like my iPod or my customized sneakers and of course my engagement ring. While I never look at them, I can’t get myself to get rid of them because, while I of course have the memories in my heart and mind, reminiscing gets a whole different quality (read: more detailed) when you actually have something tangible to look at and remind you of what love is like…”
Did you catch the part that stood out to me?
Well, I found the fact that Elle nonchalantly mentioned she still had her engagement ring immediately struck me as an interesting bit of information. Although I can’t recall the specifics, I know from some of her previous comments over the past year or so that Elle was engaged but things just didn’t work out.
With that said, I’m not picking on my girl Elle or trying to start no drama, but that little detail that was slipped into her comment triggered something in my over-analytical brain. Now, I’ve never been engaged (my faux proposal in high school doesn’t count) and if you read THIS, you know I have no idea how much a “decent” ring costs, but I’ll be damned if things fall apart and she keeps the ring.
I know some may feel it’s tacky to ask for an engagement ring back in the event of a breakup, but if we never make it down the aisle that symbol of our love needs be returned to sender giver.
Seriously, what is she going to do with it? I doubt very much that a woman would actually wear an engagement ring from a man she’s no longer with and it’s even less likely that keeping it around will spark many good memories. So I really wonder what’s the logic behind keeping an engagement ring if you’re no longer together.
A consolation prize?
Bump that! Recession or not, brothers save up for years and spend a lot of their hard earned cash to “put a ring on it.” Just because things didn’t work out between a man and his former fiancé shouldn’t mean that he has to start from square one.
Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely see a few scenarios where a woman wouldn’t be readily eager to return a ring—like if he cheated or did some ultra-foul stuff—but even then I still feel she should give it back.
I mean, isn’t that what the average woman would do?
Like I said earlier, there’s not much a woman can do with an engagement ring that didn’t lead to a marriage. Wearing it would just seem weird. Keeping it a lock box just seems like a waste. And if it’s a family heirloom that’s just plain ol’ wrong.
So why not just give it back to the man?
That way he could get his money back and both of you could move on to bigger and better things. See, I’m all for keeping mementos but an engagement ring is one keepsake that need not apply.
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it, but if you or I change our minds you better give it back.
All the fellas, if you hear me, put ya hands up.
Uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…
Do you think that a woman should give an engagement ring back if the wedding is called off? Does it matter who decided to breakup? Is it tacky for a man to ask for the ring back? Is it spiteful for a woman to refuse? Ladies, would you be upset if a man proposed with a ring that was initially intended for another woman? Regardless of what happens do you see an engagement ring as a “gift”? Do some women keep the ring as a way to get back at a man? Fellas, would you ask for the ring back or let your ex-fiancée keep it? Do you think it’s fair that a man can spend his saving on a ring in good faith only to see a woman keep it after the relationship dissolves?
Speak your piece…