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Would You Use the Female Condom? (Safe Sex For the Win)

Posted by NWSO • March 8, 2010 • Printer-friendly

Safe sex is mandatory. Or, at least it should be. However, based on the numerous paternity tests that keep Maury Povich on air and troubling statistics that say “HIV/AIDS infection is the leading cause of death for Black women 25-34 nationwide,” a lot of people still aren’t strapping up.

Aside from celibacy or abstinence, the only way to truly protect yourself against HIV/AIDS, or any other STD/STI or unwanted pregnancy, is to wear a condom. For the most part, that responsibility falls on the guy because they’re the ones that wear it and usually carry them around.

Some of you might recall a while back when I did a post about women packing protection of their own. To my surprise more women than I would have thought proudly carried condoms. I’ll admit that I initially took a sexist view on that issue but I saw the error in my ways and realized that women couldn’t leave their sexual wellbeing in the hands of a man.

That’s the conclusion that officials in Washington, D.C., which has a growing HIV/AIDS rate, have come to. While other cities/districts have focused on free condoms, D.C. is specifically targeting women by adding female condoms to the mix. The thinking is that this will empower women in the bedroom and provide another alternative in the face of male partners that refuse to use the standard male prophylactics.

Now, the female condom has been around since 1993 but I thought they had discontinued them because I’ve never seen them during my condom runs to the local pharmacy. I know I got a three-pack for free when I was in college but I never used them because it just looked way too awkward (although the fact that a woman could put it on/in ahead of time was intriguing). Besides when I’m trying to get my groove on I’d rather rock with something more snug as opposed to a mini Ziploc bag with a rubber ring and lube inside.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who had reservations about using the female condom.

The female condom has been available in Europe for nearly two decades and was first approved for use by the FDA in 1993. Its use in the United States was limited and ineffective. Women complained that the first version, FC1, was too expensive, about $17 for a box of five, and unsatisfactory.

However, I hear they’ve made some improvements in the female condom since it past its expiration date in my nightstand many moons ago.

Last year the Federal Drug Administration approved a second version [of the female condom], FC2, with a thinner polyurethane that conducts body heat and enhances sexual sensation for men and women, according to its designers at the Female Health Co. The new condom was developed in 2005 and became widely used in South Africa. It is now in use in nations such as Indonesia and Brazil.

The question is, will they finally catch on in the U.S.? In addition to being bulky, female condoms were also pretty expensive but CVS became the nation’s first pharmacy to sell the FC2 and will offer the female condoms next to male condoms at a cheaper price. According to the national pharmacy’s reps, a package of three female condoms will sell for about $6.50, while a three-pack of male condoms sells for $5 to $7.

At the end of the day, though, whether it costs $6.50 or $16 as long as more people are protecting themselves I’m happy.

What are your thoughts on the female condom? Have you ever tried it before? If so, how was it? Do you think D.C. giving out free female condoms is a good idea? Would you be more willing to try one of you got it for free? Fellas, how would you respond if a woman pulled out a female condom? If you’re a guy that hates regular rubbers, would you be open to the idea of a female condom? Ladies, how would you react if a guy pulled out a female condom for y’all to use? Are you surprised that so many people still don’t use protection? Do you think more cities should offer free female condoms?

Speak your piece…

Tagged as: D.C., FC1, FC2, FDA, female condom, Washington DC

Anike Love

I have never personally used the female condoms for sex, only to see how it felt inserted (lol), but it does require being comfortable with your body, and some practice to shape the ring so that it can be inserted inside the va-gee-gee (similar to Nuvaring). My girlfriends who've used it have said it's one of the best ways to get a man with male-condom aversion to quickly rethink his stance, because once you pull this sucker out, there's no excuse! Plus, one of the benefits of the female condom is that the outer ring hangs outside of the va-gee-gee, and adds a little more protection because of it's surface area.

DC distributing free female condoms is a great idea! I think more women would be willing to try them free than risk buying them and disliking them. Hopefully, states catch on and realize that investing in HIV/STI prevention is ultimately more cost-effective than paying to treat/cure.

BTW, here's a link for how to insert a female condom. Hope it's enlightening!
Anike Love

@da ThRONe, the benefit is that it gives women more control over their sexual health! And no, definitely CAN'T be used with a male condom, friction will tear them bad boys up!
da ThRONe

If they arent cheaper or safer than its pointless to me. Im sure they cant be used with male condoms so whats really the benefit of using them?

Either way more protection is never a bad thing.
http://spinsterstravels.wordpress.com Spinster

Never tried it but would if/when necessary. It's a good idea because the average female condom costs $3.60, so giving them out for free is cost-effective in addition to it being fine to use for safer sex.

And yes, in 2010 it still boggles my mind that people continue to have raw sex in spite of all of the STDs out there.

And yes, it'd be a good idea for other cities to offer free female condoms too.
Classic Ruby

I have never used, actually never even had the opportunity to try out a female condom in real life. They seemed, as NWSO said, like a ziploc bag to me, and did not at all seem sexy. While I think it's awesome that they are improving them so that way they are more sexually stimulating as well as being pocket friendly, I don't know that I would be able to ever use one. If I was in a situation where I was going to have sex with a man whom I wasn't committed to and he was against using the male condom we just don't get down and dirty. But, much like things like Nuva ring, or other innovative ways of birth control, it's fantastic that women are getting even more ways to control the ways in which sexual acts will impact their lives and futures
THATgyrl

I think its great that more options in protection are being introduced, and I'm all for women being proactive themselves when it comes to safe sex.

I don't believe I will try the female condom myself, because I have tried the NuvaRing (which I hated) and since its similar in fashion it doesn't appeal to me. Besides I would rather stick to using the male version, which I happily keep on hand myself- so there's NO excuses.

I believe its a good idea to initially offer them for free because some women who might otherwise not try something unknown to them, may do so.
http://www.KnapsGirl.com Monica

I've never tried it, but like other said for free I would. To those who say it's not sexy, there is nothing less sexy than dying of a disease you didn't have to contract. Compare that vision to the sight of a little plastic ring hanging out of your gynie. : /
I'm sure initially no one thought one-eye-willie looked hot in his rubber suit either, now its the norm.
Rashaan

I just got my friend the female condom from the BK Dept of Health. I sent her the booklet to. She said that they work. So she wants me to get her some more.
Shannon

The female condom was originally intended for by women in abusive relationships; it was supposed to give such women a somewhat anonymous opportunity and access to birth control. Up until the mid to late eighties, marital rape was not a crime and it was not considered rape if the act was between people in a relationship.

The female condom never really caught on in the U.S. because of the many options available to women; in other countries such as South Africa, they are a tremendous benefit because it is widely believed that having sex with a vrigin will cure HIV and so men infected with the virus often go out and rape several females, mostly young girls, in an effort to "cure" the disease; this is what accounts for the fastpreading epidemic. The female condom is effective and more widely in use in countries where birth control is frowned upon.

I've never used the female condom personally, but I have issued them out in battered women's shelters and rape crisis centers as part of the protocol and explain how to insert them. There was one instance I was very glad I'd given these out because one woman was having a hard time getting away from her abusive cheating husband and he was having forcible sex with her against her will and she used the female condoms; good thing she did because it later came out that her husband was HIV positive. He later went to prison for his abuse and knowingly having unprotected sex and not disclosing his HIV status to any of his partners. Now she has a chance, at least, at a better life. Too bad for his other partners (or should I say victims?) who never will have that chance.
Elle

What I wonder is how do these things stay in place?

Oh and can you use a male condom at the same time?

Does it make noise when you're at "it"? It looks like it would...lol

WTF@the other end hanging out ... I don't know about that.

Obviously, I haven't used one but just for the heck of it I want to try it at least once.

Free condoms, free birth control are always a good idea in regards to helping prevent STDs but also teen pregnancy - another epidemic.
rwifey

i remember back in the 90s, when i was in college i got one free in the mail, and i did a speech on safe sex for the oral speech class. i pulled it out, and showed it to the class, and explained its use, as per the package.

would i use it? nahhhhh, probably not.

it still amazes me that myself, admittedly, and tons of others are still having unprotected sex

....sigh....
Babygurl

I've heard about them in "health class" when I was in HS and they don't seem like a bad idea we should take more responsibility for our health. I've even had a friend who used one she received from her OB/GYN and she was a little apprehensive at first but she used it and didn't really notice a difference in sensation or anything and dude couldn't even tell the difference. lol

I'm for protecting your self. If this is one more way to do lets go for it and embrace it HIV/AIDS is too real to be petty about who has on what rubber. As long as someone has some protection some where.
Anike Love

@Peach Cobbler, your welcome!

@Elle, the female condom stays in place because it has a flexible ring (like Nuvaring) that allows it to stay in place inside the vagina.

You definitely don't want to use it with a male condom because the friction between the two condoms can cause them to tear. No good!

From what I heard, it does make some noise, but I say either turn up the music, or make some noise of your own and there shouldn't be anything to worry about lol
Peach Cobbler

Than you @Anike Love for posting the link on how to use them!
BangShang

I haven't use the female condom before.. however i might give it some thought and purchase a pack....
mizze

I dont think I would use it because if your man has a condom on and has no problem using it, then why use the female one..which in my opinion looks way too complicated.. But its all up to the wearer and what makes sex better and safer for them
diamondznpearlz

I have used it before and it was not a pleasant experience for me or my partner. He said it felt like a plastic bag and I couldn't feel HIM, just plastic. Frankly, it got a bout 20 strokes before we transistioned back to the male condom. LOL
Shequita

@Shannon , very interesting facts!!

Ive never used one. I have used the Nuva Ring and it kept slipping out/down. The doc says once its inserted your body acts as a vacuum and will keep it in place. So my vacuum must not be workin!! Because of this I dont trust it. The idea is genius.
Rastaman

"..looks way too complicated.. " SMDH!

A lady I was intimately involved with about 8 years ago introduced it as an option in our play dates. I declined as I was quite comfortable using the male condom and made things go so much more smoothly in my opinion.

However, i would not be opposed if a partner preferred to use one. Better safe than sorry is my philiosphy and I all for women having as many options available to them to protect themselves sexually.

With the reported rates of HIV infection amongst women in the DC area, I encourage them to try anything they believe can work to slow the rate of infection. No one has yet found a way to stop folks from having sex, so helping them to protect themsleves from unwanted pregnancies and nasty, if not deadly STIs.

Sex can kill these days and no one should have to take any more chances than necessary.
bogart4017

If it had to be used i would try it once out of curiosity.
http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

i'll pass. a regular condom works perfectly fine.
Potato w/ Jive

No joke. A long time ago I had been talking about female condoms and i proposed a challenge to my friends to see if they could actually FIND a female condom in the drug stores, or ANYwhere for that matter.

We would stomp through and go right to the protection section (has a nice ring dont it?) We found every kind of male condom, gels, jellies, mini- vibrator toys, shoot, even various bumpy and shaped male condoms, for her pleasure, but female condom? crickets.

You know this lil game went on for nearly 4-5 years till i saw one at my local Duane Reade? I swear, it felt like i found a unicorn. Im saying, more expensive, less available, and less reliable? I think it gets the gong, yo....
http://slangrapdemocracy.com Alvin Blanco

If a woman breaks out a female condom, don't trip. However, if she breaks out a strap on, that's when you should worry...and run.
older & wiser

My best friend became pregnant when we were in college while using the original version of the female condom. I am her daughter's god-mother.

After her "accident" we never even considered them as an option for us as females b/c they were so cumbersome to use and not as reliable :-\.
Sherell

@rwifey
" it still amazes me that myself, admittedly, and tons of others are still having unprotected sex
.sigh…."

Really, Wow!!!!!
Jamaica

I would try it if it were free. The male condom seems much easier and is probably better in terms of sensation. I'm in control of my health with either option.
illbdat

free condoms of any sort are good to bloster women/men protecting themselves... im all for it!

at the same time (totally random) I also couldn't hlep but think of tom green and his plastic bag skit back when he was the rage... (singing in my bestest tom green's voice) you gotta a plastic bag, plastic bag. Plastic bag plastic bag plastic bag...you gotta a plastic bag, plastic bag. Plastic bag plastic bag plastic bag PLASTIC BAG PLASTIC BAG!!!

ok now thats out of my system...
dbaby11

female condom... never tried it... i would though. i agree with the fact that we as women should not depend on a man to protect us or be responsible. i am one of those women that has a pack of condoms hidden at home in the drawer so if it goes down i am prepared to whip those bad boys out!
QueenDenise

I would definetly try the female condom because of the fact that there are plenty of people who tend to think that it's a joke just to be out screwing any and everybody. No one wants to be truthful anymore.
Jessica J

@Naked

Haha, Ziploc bag.

(Looks through cabinets for something to put sandwich in, then says eff it, my condoms are bigger.)

But all in all, glad more ways to stay safe are available.
MissMe83

hmmm so yeah I won't be using the female condom anytime soon. For me it would take too much preparation. Cuz first of all, it says I can put it in beforehand....ummm before when? I leave the house, dude comes over? and for how long before? and would that be uncomfortable for me to wear for 2 hours beforehand, 3? What if sex isn't definite, but a possibility. Do I wear it all day? THEN on top of that, something is telling me I need to keep a small (or jumbo) bottle of lube with me at all times.

And I get what ole girl is saying about it not being sexy. Yeah death isn't sexy at all....but no one said I wasn't using protection, just not the female condom.

I'm happy there are more options out there for EVERYONE, but for me and my bed, we will stick to the male condom.

@Rwifey, thanks for admitting that you have unprotected sex. Some people act like they have NEVER went at it raw...and the truth is we've just about all done it. Mind you there are some people who ALWAYS use condoms. But in reality, the number of people who SAY they always use condoms is a lot higher than the number of people who really do. Now the thing is to learn from your mistakes and don't get caught up in the moment next time. Pull out the little package and get to rockin'!!!
MissMe83

@ Potato w/jive...lol that scavenger hunt sounds like something my friends and I are doing. We are looking for dental dam!!

Speaking of dental dam, is anyone else against it like I am? I mean I know the same diseases that we can get with penetration can be acquired orally, but really how many of us REALLY use the sexual version of saran wrap to pleasure each other? I know I didn't (abstaining from sex now) use condoms to give head. Latex is NOT tasty...lol
Whateva

SO, it seems as though a lot of people on here have never used a female condom. I personally have and I love using it! Its easy to put in , my partner enjoys being "unrestrained", and I feel safe which makes the pleasure for me all the more better!

Maybe its my generation since I'm currently a junior in college, and I've never had to pay for any of them. Free Female Condoms are the best! I always go out of my way to get them at the Health Clinic. AND they are way way better than free Lifestyles which everyone knows break! Just my two cents on the matter!
yagurl82

I've never used a female condom and like your blog stated the cost to "experiment" with one was too much so I'd stick with the male/traditional condoms. This is a great blog discussion and I must admit you've done your job = peaked my curiousity . . . I may have to try it at least once.
Caribeza

@MissMe83 ---using non-lubricated condoms is actually really cool for oral sex - it's a bit dusty at first but better safe than sorry - I have double standards though, I know I'm good (well at least for 3 months , hopefully ) so no dental dams for me, but the guy gets no oral sex unless there's a non-lubricated condom in place.

I have 2 female condoms that have been with me for a bit but I haven't been inclined to use them. The male condom just seems so much easier because it's more external.
illbdat

hmmm re-occuring theme.... female condoms too expensive...im not even gonna front to me they look like the condoms used in naked gun 33 1//3.... so i stayed way away from em... but the cost did nothing to sway my decision on em.... just seemed real intrusive.... almost like a walmart shopping bag vs. a condom... yuck!!!... but im just on the outside looking in so would someone describe the difference- if any- in reg vs female?
Siante J

Mistake? No. Plan B? Yes.
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com Tiffany

I have seen them but have never thought about buying them. I think it's easier for me to take a pill or use the patch or ring and for him to where the condom.

Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com
http://blackplanet.com MSWETWET

I NEVER USED THEM BUT I WOULD TRY IT TO SEE IF I'M COMFY WITH USING THEM. I ALSO WANT TO KNOW WHERE DO THESE STATISTICS COME FROM AS TO WHY BLACK WOMEN LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IS FROM HIV? BEING THE MINORITY RACE WITH HISPANICS AND LATINOS ALMOST PASSING US HOW COME THE STATISTICS ARE STILL SO BIASED?