Are Your Friends Cute? (They’re Not Stop Lying)

0 Posted by - April 6, 2010 - Relationships, Love & Marriage

Wanda Shocked

We’ve all been there before: One of your single friends has been on the market for longer than he or she would like and they turn to you for the hook-up. Now not everyone is down for mutual friend hook-up, but for argument’s sake let’s say you are. After running through your mental Rolodex a name pops in your head and then comes the pivotal question:

“Is s/he cute?”

No matter how many times I’ve heard or asked this question the answer always seems to be the same: “Yes.”

Correct me if I’m wrong but there are unattractive people in this world, right? So how is it that no one ever has any ugly friends?

I’m not buying it.

There’s nothing wrong with self-confidence because, at the end of the day, that can be way sexier than outward appearances anyway. But let’s be real for a minute, not everyone is as cute as they think they are and neither are their friends. I’m sorry, but some people need to be called out for false advertising.

We’ve all been caught out there at some point or other—either a blind date hookup or online dating—and the person described themselves as an official dime. You show up to for your date and are greeted by a rusty nickel. It’s like that scene in Friday when Smokey was phone Jonesin’ with that chick who said she looked like Janet Jackson and when she pulled up in the whip it turned out she looked more like Freddie Jackson. (Peep the 5 min mark).

I don’t care if we’re in a recession and the value of American currency is on the decline, I know what a dime looks like when I see one and I refuse to get shortchanged.

This conversation came up the other night over dinner with a group of friends. My homeboy Nick was tired of going out with the same chicks and asked Tricia if she had any girlfriends she could hook him up with.

“You know all my girls,” she replied.

“Yeah, but I know you gotta have one or two stashed away somewhere.”

“Oh, there is Tanya, but she lives in the Bronx.”

Then Nick asked the million-dollar question: “Is she cute?”

Tricia’s answer of course was a resounding, “Yes.” That’s what opened the floor for the group to discuss the odd phenomenon of everyone always having cute friends.

I understand that no one wants to cock block on their friends by saying they’re just “aiight,” but there’s no reason to lie. Far be it for me to rate my male friends’ attractiveness but I’m not going to tell someone my homeboy resembles Reggie Bush when he actually looks more like Dennis Rodman.

That’s just wrong.

I understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has their own varying degrees of cuteness. What I liked most out of that entire night’s conversation was this one sister who confidently announced, “I’m too grown to be cute.”

No one at the table was mad at that response at all, but Nick wanted to know how this sister referred to her friends when someone asked if they were cute.

“I just say my friends are beautiful because they are.”

Do you always describe your friends as cute/attractive when someone asks? Is it actually true or are you just being nice? Would you be mad if someone asked if you were cute and your friend said no? Have you ever hooked up your friends on a blind date? Did things work out or was it a disaster? Have you ever been on a blind date or met someone online that didn’t look like they said they did? Are you and your friends really as cute as you think you are? How come no one ever has any ugly friends?

Speak your piece…

Ugly Lineup

  • LIVING UNSCRIPTED

    Everybody likes to be associated with the hansome/cute it’s a pride thing.I’ve been on blind dates some disasters some long tem friendships.End of the day everbody is going to lie.

  • R.e.D

    Women generally think their friends are cute because we tend to see the inside beauty of our friends which kind of radiates outward, or at least we like to think of it that way. I don’t usually do hook ups with friends, but if i did, there would surely be pictures so each person can decide for themselves. People have ugly friends, but it is so cruel to say that. I just try to look at their best physical quality and help them to capitalize on that.
    In the comment section, the last sentence of your prior post was deep.

  • http://myfingersarentbroken.com/ GinaMarie

    I agree with @R.e.D Generally you think your friends are beautiful because you know them as a person inside and out.

    Personally I think we all have qualities that make us beautiful. To me it’s all about confidence. Someone who doesn’t look the best with get more play if they know they the s*** than someone who is constantly pointing out what they don’t like.

    Me and my friends really don’t do the blind date thing or hook each other up. That has only happen once with me before. My sister hooked me up and that ended being my first love LOL
    Guess I know I got the goods LOL

    I didn have a girlfriend tho that met this guy off one of those telephone chat lines that ended up looking extremely different than what he said he did. Yea she wasn’t too happy about that LOL

  • http://sinfullyo.blogspot.com/ Sinful?yo

    eff all that, i swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help me god. if my friend isn’t cute i make it known then i’ll go into supplemental details of her having a good heart, goals in life, great personality, etc. i guess i rationalize it like this: what’s worse, getting shut down from the start when your girl isn’t even aware she was put out there? or building up the guy and your girl’s hope/expectations and her getting rejected? i think that’d hurt wayyyy more.

    as for that WE’RE ALL BEAUTIFUL mess that’s not how my friends and i roll. i know most men don’t find me attractive and that’s cool because i don’t concern myself with a majority of the general population lmao.

    as for blind dates, i don’t do those. i hunt for my own prey please and thank you!

  • candice

    While I’m far from ugly. I still refuse to talk to just any ol guy. To be honest I gain some weight and guys see me as better looking when the weights. It is what it is. So I started working out hard and taking better care of myself. I do it for me as well has wanted the best man I can get inside and out. Let’s be real, the big girl out the crew is always over looked. With that said weight goes down. I refuse to settle for anything so I can’t get mad at any guy who feels the same way.

  • Elle

    I’ve never really been in the situation of hooking one of my girls up but if I do describe them for other purposes I keep it neutral.
    I wouldn’t say she is cute or beautiful or whatever but simply describe her.

    Personally, I think my 2 best friends are gorgeous, one I usually refer to as my “model friend” cause she definitely looks like one.
    However, these girls have issues and that is something I do not hide. While I LOVE them as my best friends, I would NEVER date them if I were a man.

  • Shannon

    I don’t have female friends anymore, but back when I did, I had five friends who were very beautiful and whenever they asked me to put in a good word with my male friends, I never hesitated.

    On the other hand, I had three female friends who–I have to be brutally honest–looked more like they should have been trying to hook up with something from the zoo or junkyard. I know that sounds harsh and mean, but I’m being honest. The thing was, they always wanted me to hook them up with the best-looking guys–I mean, guys who played doubles to Shemar Moore, Denzel Washington and Wesley Snipes–and got mad when I told my friends the truth about how they looked.

    “You got any friends?”
    “Yeah…a few are single, why?”
    “Can you hook me up?”
    “I can arrange for you to meet them.”
    “Are they cute?”
    Silence.
    “Well, are they cute?”
    More silence. I don’t know what to say now.
    “Damn, Shannon, they look that bad?”
    “Well, now that you mention it…one of them does look like Van Horn than Lena Horne (one of my friends used to swear she looked like Lena Horne and this was in spite of the fact that she was darker than burnt fried chicken, wore about a size 24 and would fuck a rock if she though a snake was under it) and the thing is…well, let’s just say she’s been around.”

    What I failed to mention was not only were these women totally unattractive, they slept around with just about any guy that gave them attention for the night and it didn’t matter who he was. Over time I stopped introducing anyone to them and I got accused of wanting all the men for myself and that’s when I got angry.

    “WTF?! I have a husband. I am aware that I am not every man’s cup of tea and I know not every man finds me attractive but here you are looking like I-don’t-know-what; a 2 can’t go out there and expect a 10 or even a 9; simply put, you are trying to meet these men and you are way out of their league.”

    I mean, that’s like Lyle Lovett thinking he can get Halle Berry. Whatever. Never happen because she knows she can do better than that.

    I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way, but people, come on, if your friends have more in common with a basset hound than Angela Bassett, you need to be honest about it. There is no point in lying to the guy to make them come out better because eventually they will meet in person and then they’ll just disappoint and be disappointed. I don’t have a model’s body–I’m too disproportionate–so I don’t say I have a model’s body. I can be honest; I gained weight over the winter, but I’m back in the gym working it out. Not everyone is a 10, but when you know someone really well, appearance goes far beyond the skin and reaches deep within the soul.

  • *Sarah*Dessert*

    I must admit, on the rare occasions when I have been asked to hook my friends up or just about how they look, my response usually is “yea, she’s cute”. However, its the truth. Out of my 5 closest friends, 3 of them are pretty much 8s or 9s depending on the day.lol With the other 2, one of them has a very cute face n a butt that’s outta this world but over the years she’s put on a bit of weight so she might not bag em like she used to, but overall, she’s still pretty damn hot. Lol the other friend is where the misleading may sometimes step in. Lol She’s very petite n has a nice lil body for her frame but I can admit that she’s not that great lookin in the face. However she cleans up well and is more than capable of lookin cute when she tries. With all of that said, when u include the great personality that each one of them has (afterall, they are my friends so they gotta have nice personalities lol), I feel pretty confident when describing my friends as “Cute”.

    I think the real trouble arises when talkin about people that look like the women mentioned by one of the previous commenters (overweight, whoreish, and ugly in the face lol). These people seem to have almost no redeeming qualities therefore, it should be considered lying and “false advertising” when describing them as cute or attractive.

    Personaly, I would give myself a “cute” however I’m not too good with the self esteem thing so idk, maybe I’m actually way hotter than I give myself credit for. Lol But I definitely would be upset if I my friends didn’t give me a positive discription; I deserve it! Lol

  • *Sarah*Dessert*

    And another thing, its generally known that women tend to be more forgiving of physical imperfections than men, therefore that should account for the “phenomenon” of women who seem to have “no ugly friends”. Lol As you can see from my previous comment as well as some others, where a woman would be more likely to draw attention away from the flaws that her friend may have, and give more credit to her personality, more often than not, a guy is not really interested in all that, especially on a first encounter, and therefore will be more likely to feel as though he’s been jipped. Lmao

  • http://1intuitive1.blogspot.com Aurora

    I’d rather attach a picture to an e-mail and let it speak for itself.
    I’m ordinary lookiing. I’d rather a guy think I was a 6 on a scale of 1- 10 and be pleasantly surprised if he likes what he sees in person, than be disappointed and have it wreck his attitude from the get-go.

    As for saying all my freinds are “cute” or “hot”.
    Again, honesty is the wisest policy.
    I will send a recent pic of a friend and say what I think they have in common with the person who wants to be set up.
    They can make their own decisions after that.

  • Angeleyes

    That main pic had me dying laughing!!!!

    My friends are cute…and I’m not lying! I’ve had my guy friends tell me how cute my group of friends are (I have lots of homegirls). Of course they said that there are a few that aren’t, but wouldn’t tell me names.

    I wouldn’t play matchmaker w/ my friends though. I do have friends that are dating now, but they came together on their own.

    Once I met a guy online in college. He was cute! Then I saw him and he was short and Heavy. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a guy with some weight, but this dude was EXTRA heavy. He sat down in the pic and sucked in his stomach and hunched over to hide his size :-/

  • Shequita

    Ive said “she/ he’s cute to me” and I give a description. I also take into account the type of person that their into. Dont be hookin your homeboy up with a light skinned bbw when he’s into the dark skin model types. I’ve hooked up friends before and they liked how each other looked but they didn’t connect mentally..thats another thing to consider.

  • Shequita

    Also the more we love our friends the “cuter” and more beautiful they are to us! Im guessing this is not the same for men lol

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Elle

    The best description you gave (and any person, male or female, could) is when you said: “While I LOVE them as my best friends, I would NEVER date them if I were a man.”

    That holds way more weight than whether or not they cute, cause I heard about the “model friend” before and when I finally saw this chick my homegirl was HYPING I was like LIAR!. It’s not that she was unattractive but all the model talk just built up too much hype, she should have left it at she was “cute.” LOL

  • Life…

    As a man, I don’t say ‘my guy is attractive’ or anything like that. I’ll say something like, ‘he does his thing’ or ‘females dig him’ … but, that’s if it’s the truth. If it’s not then I’d probably use other means to let them see one another without the pressure of getting together cause I don’t want my name linked to any disasters, lol. Plus, swagger, sex appeal and chemistry can’t be felt by words (of a friend) or a pic (through pic mail and/or facebook).

    I’ve hooked up and been hooked up but my guys and I clown HEAVY so we have a fields day w disasters…but ultimate blame is on Dr Love which is why I’d rather line all my ducks up before setting up a situation. 0=)

    As for no one having ugly friends….I think that’s more females who don’t have ugly friends b/c they see the beauty in their physically/facially challenged friends (ex…she has a great personality & deserves to be w a great guy) … whereas guys (at least, my guys) are more inclined to stay in our league (fear of rejection and/or ridicule) …i.e., if your past is a bunch of 5s and 6s (sorry for rating but for all intents and purposes, we can understand where I’m going) then you shouldn’t jump out the window and tell your homeboy to hook you up w that 9 that just came to the cookout.

    -Life

    Please check my blog … it’s a baby but I’m working on it.

    blog.lifethatchoseme.com

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    most women have at least one unfortunate looking friend, so also don’t buy the all my friends are cute gimmick. no woman wants to believe that her friends aren’t cute because of the old adage, “birds of a feather”. if her friend is busted then what does that say about her? yeah, yeah, yeah i know friendship is about what’s on the inside but in reality people are constantly judged on their physical appearance.

    i have been out with a women via hook-ups of other friends and to me it’s hit or miss. some people hyped up their friends and i was disappointed. one of my homegirls did try hooking me up with her friend and she downplayed her looks. i met her anyway and i was pleasantly surprised.

    as far as me i know i’m not busted (#onmycockyshit) and MOST of my friends aren’t either (no homo). i do have friends who my female friends have described as unfortunate looking so i know from a women’s point of view that i do have friends that weren’t so blessed in the looks department.

  • b.better

    I have to ask, what exactly is a dime? Because a dime to you can be a nickel to someone else…

    But I always describe my friends as attractive because they actually are. I have a variety of girlfriends that are equally beautiful and I don’t say it just to say it they actually are. If I was a man I’d do them all. LMAO! So I wouldn’t call us dimes but I’d say we are all attractive in our own way. And people who can’t admit that some of their friends are ugly are liars.

    I don’t do hook ups because my friends are assholes and can be very stank at times, and I don’t let them hook me up because they have horrible taste in men. Once I went on a blind double date because my home girl wanted to go out with this random army guy she met at the club and he was staying with his friend. And I knew deep down the friend had to be super ugly and I was right!

    The guy was cross-eyed and had so much pride in living in an all jewish exclusive neighborhood and how he was the only black guy at his law firm and blah blah blah. He was so wack the dinner sucked because the army guy was SOOOOOOO ghetto and was being so loud and embarrassing in this classy dc restaurant. After that I told her NEVER again. I’d rather be single.

  • Organized Chaoz

    First and foremost, I hate it when people describe folks as ‘model type’. I personally believe that most ‘models’ aren’t the norm/girl or guy next door, not someone that you would just meet in everyday life. As well as the fact that most folks that are aesthetically pleasing to the eye can be horrible company ie they can be nice to look at but be dumb as a box of rocks or just simply work your last good nerve or boring or stuck up or an over all not nice individual. I think that that is part of the reason people’s minds are so messed up when it comes to ‘beauty’. It truly is in the eye of the beholder.

    I have more male friends than I do female friends (that’s just a preference of mine) and growing up with an older brother who had plenty of friends, I had to learn how to take the good with the bad. They did not and still don’t sugar coat things when they talk to me. On top of everything else, I am a plus-sized woman now and have always been. I’ve gotten some negative comments (and who hasn’t? let’s be real about it ) over the years, but because my self esteem is high, I let them roll. I have been told that I dress well, I am cute in the face, I am intelligent, and I have the personality to match it. So if someone asked my friend if I was cute and they said no, yes, I’d be a little bit offended lol!!

    (now remember this is coming from guys) I’ve also been told that the majority of the ‘arm candy’ or the ‘dime pieces’ or ‘video worthy chicks’ (I can’t stand that phrase, because, again, it is in the eye of the beholder!!) cause more trouble than it is worth.

    I have never hooked ANYONE up. I refuse to take the fall when it doesn’t work out. I’ve never been hooked up, per se, but I have met a friend of a friend and we pursued a little something, it worked for a minute, then it fizzled.

  • Organized Chaoz

    @Tunde LMBO! I love that phrase ‘unfortunate looking’ With your permission, I will be using this :-)

  • http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

    @Organized Chaoz go right ahead. lol. its sounds so much better than the word ‘ugly’

  • my 2 cents

    I feel like if you dont think you are pretty then no one else will. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Whats a dime to me may no be a dime to someone else. Also lets be real a lot of people out here looking for a dime really dont deserve a dime. Have we become the shallow of a people that all we want is someone that is fine, model type, or video chick? Now dont get me wrong I want to be with a man that is attractive to me but good conversation, goals ect can make a person more attractive than just being “a dime”. Let not be so shallow people!!!

    @organized Chaoz like you I am also plus size and have high self esteem and it is funny how so people look at me and say o you have a pretty face or things like that. I just laugh because once again I know I am pretty and have a lot of good things to bring to the table.

  • Rastaman

    I think i have only attempted to hook up any people I know, once in my life. It was funny because the woman’s complaint was that my boy had tassels on his shoes. I LMAO because she was the mental basketcase and I was happy they never hooked up.

    I have many women friends and I have on several occasions talked them out of trying to hook me up with their friends. Because having had sisters, I knew to be skeptical of my friend is “cute” or “nice”. For women that is a whole different standard, not subpar or misleading, just different.

    I am not the best looking dude in the world but I have my niche of women plus being tall and fairly intelligent doesn’t hurt but I hope i never get described as cute. I can best describe the fellas i have hung with over the years as a motley crew. So when women met us we tended to offer something for everybody. Women I dated, their girl firends would always ask if i had any tall friends like myself and usually the answer was no. Plus I would never blindly introduce any man or woman to a friend unless they met my own standards and frankly most of my friends, male or female do not for a myriad of reasons.

  • da ThRONe

    Touchy subject. While I would never date a female Im not sexaully attracted to. I think its terrible placeing self worth on people based on physical features. I guess I have grown so much such I was really “Out there” some what chasing women.

    How do you tell somebody who may be an outstanding person that they arent in somebody elses “league” because they just arent attractive?

    I havent met to many people who I thought was “unfortunate looking”(since this is the phrase of the day) that knew it. So who am I are anybody else to crush these people and tell them their butt ugly. I would sooner say they arent my type(which could mean so many things) keep their feeling intact and keep moving.

  • litabia

    That’s why I don’t play match maker unless that person actually sees my friend and there is an attraction on both sides. I hate when guys I’m talking to want to hook up their friends and decide to ask me if I have the hook up for them. I always tell them no tell your friend to find his own chicks. I know not all of my friends are the best looking females around but the hold their own.

    Now the follow-up question is would I hang out with someone that is not cute or got a nice body?

  • Angie

    I agree with Latabia, if you’ve never met the person I won’t even mention them..that’s just what’s best in my opinion.

    I seldom find myself in the matchmaker position but always in the position of the person getting hooked up, not because I ask but because my male friends always have “homeboys” that saw me on their facebook or at the club and want to meet me. More times than not the “friend” was never cute. I always feel like if the person has to go to their friends for hookups, chances are there’s a reason why they can’t find someone their damn self.

  • moonstarz

    My friends ARE cute.

    The end. :-)

  • http://halloftheblackdragon.com Greg Dragon

    Cute or not, the Hook Up is the worst thing you can do between friends, it creates a conflict of interest when friend x starts asking friend y why the chick he hooked her up with is crazy. Especially if the chick is like their childhood friend or some sort of closeness which they can take offense from.

    The last “hook up” I had she was a dime, I was awe struck the entire meal by her looks until I realized that everything she said was full of sh-t. This chick was a liar and it wasn’t out of jokes, it was some bizarre trait that bordered on annoying. Thinking I could stick it out long enough to frame the panties in conquest, she flaked on me after date 4 and I decided to lose her number. The next thing I know the negro who hooked us up is calling me, playing dad as he drilled me with questions about why I no longer called her.

    Cute or not, I’m not feeling hook ups, too much lying on all grounds by the person “hooking it up” as they play up their person way more than they deserve to be played up in order to excite you into going through with it. The person rarely lives up to the glowing referral and it ends up with one person being crazy and the hooker upper having to answer for it.

    Oh well, just my 20 cents.

    As far as my friends being cute? Not sure since none of them are female but the boys are attractive to women, as in single, with money and killing their respective games. I’d hook some of the single women I know up, but as I said, its too much responsibility when it all goes south.

  • PrtyBrwn

    My friend did this to me recently. I don’t have trouble meeting men, but my friend swore I’d just love this guy once I saw him… She’s a good friend, so I said I’d meet him. I asked if he was attractive, to which she replied, of course, “Yes, he’s fine!” Fast forward to our meeting… Um, I have no words. He wasn’t even in the same zip code as “fine” and came off as so desperate. No thank you!

  • Ceej

    Lol… loving this topic. Definitely some good laughs.
    Now on to my two cents.

    My entire crew that I roll with catches the eye.
    We look like the united colors of “other”.
    There’s a plethora of countries & cultural backgrounds represented in all of us. And yes, some are more attractive than others. On the beauty scale collectively we average at about a 7.

    Break us down though… and you’ll have to get specific.

    First things first, I judge the man asking me WAY before I even dish the info of who my friends are.

    He could be attractive, but rough around the edges and I know my finance party girl who’s as cute as a button (but very thin & small framed) wouldn’t go for him.

    Then, we get down to what your attracted to. If your asking about my friends, your probably going off the visual impression you are getting from me. So I say “Do you find me attractive? Because NONE of my friends look like me.” Now that’s the honest to god truth. But, I never said I was the most attractive in the crew, nor did I say that my friends were NOT attractive because they don’t look like me. I was just stating the facts. There is still lots of opportunity, but now there’s clarity.

    And lastly, what makes a woman attractive for longer than 5 minutes is personality. So I ask a few questions about lifestyle, preference, and character. Once I’ve got grounds for that I can begin to explain.

    Examples of how I explain my friends:

    I have a friend who only drinks a beer here and there, isn’t into partying all night and is CRAZY about her sports. She prefers to stay indoors on the weekends watching games. She isn’t revealing, doesn’t were dresses or skirts but does wear heels and will drop hundreds on any mean pair of shoe she sees. Don’t dare joke and say “ni hao” or “arigato” or anything else in Japanese or Chinese. She’s Korean. And don’t say anything against her favorite sports teams. She’s liable to hit you. Seriously.

    I have a blasian business minded chick, short, fiesty, well connected and clever who everyone compares visually to a certain R&B singer. She isn’t hardly paying you any attention if your not attractive and established. Yes, you’ll be paying for dinner, drinks, the movies, and the popcorn & soda. And no, she’s not reaching for the check. At all. You’ll also be dropping her off at her crib and/or paying for a cab to get her home when it’s all over and even if you make it through a few dates, you won’t be getting any for months. By then you will have met the family and have spent AMPLE amounts of time. Good.Luck. (lol)

    I have a police officer chick who packs her heat 6 out of 7 days a week, owns her own crib, keeps the hair, nails, and clothes fresh but is not some video vixen. She’s your average african american woman who cleans up nice when she steps out. She’s easily turned off and will not talk to you if your EVER a wimp. Like, ever. She is tough on the outside, but mush on the inside. And Don’t dare sing “wee ooh wee ooh wee”. She HATES that. lol.

    ETC etc. I could go on and on but you get my point.

    I’m honest. I’m descriptive. But most of the time… men can’t handle the truth. So, they truly will have to see for themselves.

    And that’s fine. Less work & accountability for me.

    ;)

  • Ms P

    LOL @ some of the posts!! I do agree with the comment that women tend to think of our friends as being more attractive because they are our friends. I always describe my friends as attractive because they are. However, I also tell men that they are “healthy”. No, they are not fat but they are well… healthy! LOL. Men tend to look at my size but I have a small frame. My teenager & I can wear the same clothes, so I tell men that they can’t judge my friends against me. After I say that, most men just leave it alone.

    I would not be mad if a friend did not describe me as ‘cute’. I haven’t been cute since I was 5 y/o! :) However, I know that I am attractive.

    I have set a friend up with a relative. This relative actually saw her face & she told him her dress size. Well he later mentioned something to me about her weight. I then busted on him that she told me he still tried to get the panties so her weight too much of an issue! #$%&* No more hook-ups for him!

    Yes, I have had a bad online experience. Men like to lie about their height. Not good. I also have had horrible blind dates. Glad those days are over!!!!!!!!

  • kaylah

    I was once put in an uncomfortable situation but have kept it to myself. I was communicating with a friend of a friend who wanted to meet me. When he asked my very close friend how I look she totally dogged me out. She told my friend I was short, dark skin and heavy. Lol When I finally met up with this young man, he confessed he was afraid to meet me because of how my friend described me. He actually thought the total opposite of how she described me and told me I was beautiful. When I found out what she said I was very hurt but never spoke about it. After that incident I have made a point to never put myself or involve myself in a situation like that again.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Ms. P

    Oh, Lord, don’t start that “healthy” descriptor. That’s a whole other blog. People misuse that “healthy” and “thick” description just as much as “cute” if not more. a man’s definition of “thick” (i.e. Serena) s way different than a woman’s version of “thick (i.e. Mo’nique)

  • Samira = )

    I laughed so hard when I read this. Thank u for ringing the alarm on this one NWSO.

  • Maria

    i been on a number of blind dates and have always been disappointed because what my friends think as handsome or cute, definetly was different from my take. i have been on the other end however in that my dates always were pleasantly pleased by meetin me.
    i in a position now i asking friends to hook me up – although i haven’t had a good experience yet, i still hopin to find that one romeo that gonna be right.

  • QuoteMan

    Beauty is arbitrary; you excogitate as you move along. Over the years, my ideal standard of beauty has evolved. In the past, my sense of beauty was the light skin girl with wavy hair, then the dark skin petite girl with short hair, to the soulful sister with a little edge to her, before long (TBD)………….; In essence, beauty can never be accurately defined. It is only defined in an instance of juxtaposing.

    I guess I will adopt the euphemism of the day “unfortunate looking” LOL

    If everyone has at least one unfortunate looking friend; you could also make the argument, the opposite is true.

    As a juvenile, I worked with an in-crowd of friends; we shared a common interest in virtually everything. There was this one girl, unfortunate looking, so to speak; it’s also worth noting, she used to smoke quite a bit much which was a turn off amongst the circle. Still and all for our company, she was seeking admission. One Saturday, she invited us to her card game party; I kid you not, she had the most gorgeous girlfriends on the planet, hands down. LOL

    We just hoped they didn’t smoke, even if they did……… go figure.

  • lola289

    Wanda Voice “Oh My Goodness!!!” LMAO!

  • lola289

    I had them… Ive been one…the cycle continues!
    EVERYBODY has had a friend either less or more attractive than they are. lol!

    Im not going to say any of my friends are less attactive than me…thats just WRONG!

    It just the chance you take… like you date a cute asshole. Yea he/she is cute but an ass.
    Thats even worse to me; being attractive is ok but being a jerk? HellNo!

    *Im dying laughing at the Friday vids! lmao!*

  • illbdat

    Do you always describe your friends as cute/attractive when someone asks?

    nope, I describe them and ask the person what is their type… you get a feel for what they are looking for…. then they have a realistic idea of who is goign to show up…

    Would you be mad if someone asked if you were cute and your friend said no?

    Man…. I hope none of my boys running around saying that im cute….

    Have you ever hooked up your friends on a blind date? Did things work out or was it a disaster?

    Yes and both yes and no…..

    Have you ever been on a blind date or met someone
    online that didn’t look like they said they did?

    Dating online is for the birds…. yeah its convient but in the end you will have more exagerration than truth..

    How come no one ever has any ugly friends?

    everyone has that one less attractive person in the crew… it just depends on what the crowd is look ing for…. some women like em thick, short, tall, skinny, muscular, light, dark, etc… at any given day anyone can be the mutt of the bunch…

  • msz. lonely girl

    I never lied when I answered that question
    I go by the persons taste if I know what type of girl they like and my friend doesn’t fit their bill I let em know

    I have ugly friends I have friends who were iight and I have friends who are sexy as hell

    If one of my friends answered that question and said no I wouldn’t be offended beauty is subjective and everyone has their own opinions

  • tyty1234

    This is a very interesting topic.the funny thing is that my boyfriend and i were just having this convo. i recall when we first started dating his friends were constantly asking if i had any friends that looked like me or “cute friends”. I consider and know that all my friends are not only cute but also educated,classy and have their priorties in order.So needless to say i know what their standards are and so the answer to their questions would normally be “All of my friends are committed right now”, This saves everyone time and effort and my ass from any type of “what happened to your girl, she never called me back” questions.

  • Iloveextramedium

    Why do the ugly ones always and only want to meet the cute ones?????

  • Iloveextramedium

    “Unfortunate looking” makes me laugh! I love it!

  • http://ihatethewayyoueatcereal.wordpress.com/ Silent Scorpion

    Part of it is that we are blinded by personalities. We wouldn’t be friends we don’t think are wonderful, caring people and instead of using an unbiased eye, our opinions are jumbled with memories so we say, yeah of course she’s cute.

    I’ve learned to pull up my Facebook mobile if I’m trying to hook a friend up. Then its your fault if you’re not attracted. I showed you a 1X1 picture and you made the decision to go out.

  • bogart4017

    Most of the friends i have i’ve had for more than 30 years. I’ve kept them that long by NOT playing match.com. Find your own dames.

  • MimiPumpkin

    To be honest, I wouldn't describe my friends as being "sexy" or "gorgeous".
    If a male friend of mine wanted me to hook him up with one of my girlfriends, I would simply just give him a picture of one of my homegirls (along with a number) and then it is up to the guy.
    But, I do remember a group of former friends of mine throwing some major shade towards me, back when I was a teen. If a male friend of theirs wanted to be hooked up, they was told that I was the ugly one. Whenever my homegirls would go out on group dates with guys, I would always get the "last guy". The last guy was usually the one who acted like a total nightmare: loud, arrogant, immature, a pain in the ass.