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Was I Being Too Good of a Friend? (Drunk & Hot Girl)

Posted by NWSO • April 9, 2010 • Printer-friendly

Earlier in the week I spoke about outgrowing the club scene and that trickled into a real-life conversation with a couple of friends the other night. While I shared my own stories about my drunken alter ego Taco Meat it reminded me of this one time my homegirl Tanya got totally twisted at a party and I took it upon myself to make sure she got home alright. Somehow she wound up half-naked (with socks on) and some of the ladies at the table put my honorable intentions into question, which I protested.

Let me explain…

I was at this party in the city where I pretty much knew everyone there—including Tanya, who had just moved to Queens about a month prior. This was back when I lived in Queens and was still on the party scene, so Tanya and I would often split cabs home when we bumped into each other out and about. She was originally from L.A. and was horrible with directions so I always had to direct the cab to her house first before I got dropped off.

Anyway, when I got to the party I spotted Tanya posted up by the bar talking to my man Rob. I said what up and then mingled throughout the spot. The DJ was okay but he really wasn’t bumpin’ and after a couple hours I was ready to call it a night.

I approached Tanya, who was still seated at the bar, to see if she wanted to split a cab. Clearly bent, she turned around and rambled something about me not being “her father” and she was “fine.”

Based on her slurred speech, though, I was guessing she was anything but fine. Still, she’s a grown ass woman and who am I to try and drag her drunk ass out of there? I was just going to bounce but I realized that Tanya barely knows how to get home sober there's no way she's getting on a train at 12am or direct a cab in this condition. So I decide to post up until she was ready to go.

About an hour goes by and the place starts to thin out and I convince Tanya it’s finally time to break out. She hops off the barstool and can barely stand up, but somehow I manage to get her up the stairs and outside.

It’s hard enough for a Black man to hail a cab in New York, add a drunk girl draped on your arm and the odds are stacked against you even more. The taxi gods must have been smiling on us that night because one pulled up relatively quick.

Tanya immediately climbed in and sprawled across the backseat. I got in and rest her head on my lap, before directing the cabby to the 59th St. bridge. Maybe five minutes into the ride all I heard was the familiar sound of someone heaving. I look down and Tanya's throwing up across my lap and onto the cab floor. As you can guess, the cabby is super pissed.

“Look, man, I’ll pay you extra to clean your car,” I pleaded. “Just keep going.”

Begrudgingly he agreed and continued to Queens, while Tanya slept like a baby.

Although I knew Tanya’s block I had no idea what her address was. She lived in a basement apartment and usually when the cab dropped her off I’d make sure he waited until she made her way through the gate and to the backdoor. All the houses looked the same on her block so I had to wake her up to point out her building.

“Let me just get her inside first and I’ll be right back with something to clean up the backseat,” I tell the cabby.

As I’m carrying Tanya to the backdoor I can hear the cabby saying something but I don’t pay him any mind.

After Tanya locates her keys in her massive purse, I guide her down the stairs and set her down in the first chair I see. Then, I start scouring her barely furnished apartment for some kind of cleaning agent.

I eventually find a roll of Bounty and some Fantastic and I head outside to wipe down the backseat of the cab. I was going to do the floor, too, but that was disgusting swamp of upchuck and was like F that.

“Yo, dude, how much will it cost to clean the car.”

“About $40,” he mumbled, while looking at the backseat.

Ouch!

That was on top of the already $40 cab ride from the city to Queens.

Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you see it), I had exactly $80 on me. So that meant I didn’t have any extra cash to get myself home. Clearly, the cabby wasn’t in the mood to do me any favors so I just handed him the contents of my wallet and he peeled off, leaving my ass broke with a 45-minute walk home ahead of me.

But I’ll deal with that later…

Back inside, Tanya was hunched over in the chair and drooling all over herself. ThatsABadLook.com. I contemplated my actions for a minute before deciding to help Tanya out of her vomit-covered clothes and into bed—alone.

Being the gentleman that I am, I peel off her soiled clothes while keeping my eyes completely off of her and up towards the ceiling. As much as I wanted to, I didn't sneak a peek or cop a feel.

You can believe me or not but that's the God to honest truth. Besides, how attractive can a woman be when she’s covered in her own stomach contents?

Here's where the plot thickens.

With Tanya comfortably tucked in her bed, I headed to the bathroom to clean up and realized what the cabby was saying. Apparently there was a big stream of vomit down the back of my jeans.

Doh!

There's no way I was walking for 45 minutes in January winds with upchuck on my pants. So I rinsed out my jeans in the sink and hung them up to dry over the shower curtain, before heading back to Tanya’s room.

I fiddled around with her alarm clock and set it for 5:30am because I had to be home in time to walk my little brother to school for 7:30. Not looking to put myself in a compromising position, I grabbed a spare blanket and pillow off the bed and made myself comfortable on the floor.

In the middle of the night I was abruptly awoken when Tanya literally walked all over me on her way to the bathroom. She must have still been drunk because she did it again when she came back into the room a few moments later.

By the time the alarm went off, I had gotten only three hours of sleep tops, got stepped on twice and forced to put on my slightly damp pants for my 45-minute walk home in the cold.

Once I got home, I hopped in the shower, changed clothes and walked my little brother to school before heading to work. There's more to the story but I'll end it there for the sake of the following argument.

When I told my friends that story my homegirls adamantly objected to the fact I undressed Tanya instead of leaving her in her vomit-drenched clothes.

"I'll be damned one of my boys takes off my clothes while I’m drunk," one said.

Now, here's where the debate started.

My friends agreed that my intentions were honorable but they sighted questionable judgment on my part in deciding to change Tanya's clothes. Honestly, I would've put her in pajamas if I knew where she kept them but I didn't. I didn't sneak a peek, I didn't cop a feel; I just helped out a friend in need.

I could've easily left her ass at the bar after that you-ain't-my-daddy line. I could've saved $80 if I left when I wanted to. I could've done a lot of things that night, but I felt keeping an eye on a drunken friend and making sure she got home safely rather than leave her in the hands of whatever degenerates were scheming on her at the bar.

At the end of the day, I still feel putting Tanya in her bed (yes, half naked) was the right thing to do.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

What do y'all think, did I handle the situation right or was I asking for trouble? Was it wrong for me to undress a woman when she was inebriated? Do you believe that I didn’t sneak a peak or feel? Would it have been better for me to have left Tanya in her own vomit? Have you ever had to take care of a drunk friend? Would you clean up another person’s vomit? Do you think it’s worse when a woman gets that drunk? Should I have just left Tanya at the club when she said she was fine? Have you ever hurled in a cab before? Does Tanya owe me $80 for my troubles? Was I too good of a friend?

Speak your piece…

Tagged as: aprtment, drunk, friend, hurl, upchuck, vomit

http://sleep-is-the-cousin-of-death.blogspot.com/ Tunde

if that was my homegirl i would have made sure she made it home alright. just like you because we are good friends we often put ourselves in compromising situations.

first i would have been pissed that she tried to play me in the bar. drunk or not if i'm trying to look out for you then i don't want my good intentions thrown back into my face. $80 just go get her home? i cry foul. she threw up on your jeans. she would have been paying my dry cleaning bill. regardless of whatever else happened, ole girl would have gotten an earful from me.

i think the only questionable part is that the fact that you de-clothed her. i believe you when you said nothing happened but it's just not a good situation. i would have left her in her vomit-covered clothes. she couldn't have got mad at you after everything that you did for her that night.
Anonymous

Ans

You did good. So what she was naked. If it were me I would not want to lay in vomit -covered clothes. And I wouldn't even mind if you looked! :b

Sherell
karmagini

What you did was honorable. Not only was it a good thing to get her home because she wasn't familiar with the area, but also for her safety. I'd be pretty thankful if any of my friends did all that for me, especially taken me out of the clothes.

I myself wouldn't have made it a point not to see anything if undressing my friend. I hope she offered to pay you back.

The extent of me taking care of a drunk friend was after she got sick, letting her nap at my place after.

I've only publicly threw up once, and it was not from drinking (too much at the gym). I did hurl in the bathroom of my parents' RV once... on the walls & door. It was projectile. I've only been sick from drinking a handful of times and except for that instance, made it to the toilet in time.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Anonymous

Correction, no nakedness occurred just the soiled clothing (top, bottom and shoes) were removed, everything else was left in tact.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

LOL
Shay

I don't think you did anything wrong. It was beyond nice of you to make sure she got home safely especially after she played you and you waiting for her an hour after you wanted to go home.

As for the undressing her part, I believe you when you say that you didn't cop a feel or look. I would have rather that you took off my clothes then have me sleep in my bed in clothes filled with vomit. So kudos to you buddy.
TinaRae

Your friends are overreacting...you did a very good deed by bringing your friend home noone wants to wake up in stinky clothes and I can believe you were totally turned off by her at that moment...need more men like ya lol
Anonymous

You should have did what u usually do; go home and give the cab driver directions to her house (for extra procautions get the cab driver' s name and license plate). Many men have gone to jail or at the least got terrible reputations for doing 'favors' that the woman never asked him to do. Be smart man, if she said she didn't need help stop volunteering and puttin urself in a potentially ugly situation. Do i believe u didn't sneak a peak or feel- yeah simply because she didn't accuse u of anything. But if she made any kind of alligations that u made her uncomfortable or that u had no reason to be n her place taking off her clothes... her story would sound more legit then urs. And if she was that drunk she probably only remembers images of that night; thank God she didn't associate her half-nakedness to just u takin her clothes off, u with no pants,and u being n her room all night; thats a bad look. U were being a good friend? Apparently so was she at the end of the day. REALITY * THAT WASN't A SMART MOVE GUY
candice

This happen to me like 3 weeks ago. I got tore up at a bar and my friend took me to her house with her jumpoff spending the night at her place. She took my clothes off after I threw up. I was left in my under clothes laying across her hallway. To me I think its being a good friend. If my male friend would have done that for me that's being a good friend in my book. If a male did that for his male friend to me again that's being a friend not anything less or more I'm sure most guys wouldn't do that for their male friends. You did right. Besides you would have been a sick perv to cop a feel or think about anything with her after homegirl threw up on her self. Ewwwwww
http://www.dashofreality.wordpress.com Dash

I agree. You did the right thing. I'm thinking of it in terms of my good guy friends and if you truly are "friends" what does it really matter if they see me in the buff? You went out of your way, inconvenienced yourself, went broke, was assaulted TWICE and was on the verge of pneumonia and all your friends got out of the story was "how dare you see your friend naked" #cmonson. Are you kidding me? You are both adults, and I'm sure very familiar with human anatomy, the folks shaming you need to grow up. It is certainly not that serious...but it could have been had you not been the man that you are and peaced out after her drunken display.
lawchick12

I think you did the right thing. Although most guys probably wouldn't have been as gentlemanly as you were that night. I believe if you're truly her friend and not just trying to smash, then there's nothing wrong with what you did. I would and have done the same for my guy friends.
Shannon

I would say you were being a good friend. I don't drink, so I've never been drunk, but I had a very good friend be there for me in my time of need. Most people probably wouldn't have gone as far as he did, but back in 2003, I suffered a stroke, one of many. He found me lying in my living room, unable to move or speak and got me to the hospital. When I was discharged to go home, he realized I would not be able to care for myself--and yes, I was most vulnerable to whatever sinister intentions he might have had.

Well, he proved to be my friend in need. And we all know a friend in need is a friend indeed. This man gave up his apartment to move in with me, changed his work hours and took care of me and my children for more than 18 months and yes, he did all the dirty work and never complained and never mentioned my debt to him--he paid the bills as well--or how much work taking care of me was on him.

Now the people criticizing you...they probably were basing things on a past experience, whether theirs or someone else's, and wanting to believe and expect the worst from men, especially when a woman is intoxicated. Now, I'll admit I don't have many good things to say about men, but there are some men of good, even great, character and can be trusted to be a good friend, even to the opposite sex. If it were a guy friend, would they have suspected you of trying to get next to him too? I think not.

A lot of people don't believe that men and women can be friends without it becoming or being sexual and that's not true. I have several male friends who I would trust to be a gentleman if I were ever in a compromising position and I have male friends I wouldn't trust with a knothole in my fence lol because of their character. At least you were big enough to dismiss her drunken display and be a friend and still look out for her and I take my hat off to you for that one. Good looking out for your friend. Believe me, women appreciate men like that, friend or not, because trust is a very difficult thing for women to have or put in men and that usually has more to do with history.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Anonymous #2 (I think, pick a name people it's easier, you can change later)

You probably don't know Queens, but it's really hard to direct a cabbie from the city through the backstreets of Queens, plus she herself didn't even know how to get to her crib by cab so I doubt that would have played out very well. And I doubt I would trust a cabbie to walk her into her apartment because she wasn't making it on her own, she was gone.

So I stand by my decision. I rather myself being falsely accused of something than me doing nothing and something actually happen. I already have a friend who was raped when I decided not to roll with her to a BBQ, I think one of those on my conscious is enough for a lifetime.

Also, I slept on floor full clothed and left her essentials covered, only removing the street clothes. LIke I said if I knew where her PJs were they would have been in place. But I wasnt going to play myself by sleeping in her bed. I would have slept on couch if she had one.
Amber

You did the right thing especially after she didn't really want you to wait. Even if you did look when you were undressing her (which I don't believe you did) that is minor considering how good you treated her that night. Way to be a gentleman!
DC Man With a Plan

lmao...Dude, C'mon, Son! U make all the rest of us look bad...smh. Cudo's to you bcuz I woulda bounced once she dissed me at the bar, but IF she was at least coherent enuff to agree to leave with me, I'd have done all of what you did except leave b4 waking her drunk azz up so she could pay for MY cab ride home. "F" that B/S about walkin ALL those blocks for friendship..and didn't even get a peek! Hell to the naw...lmao. C'mon slim, nice guy shyt has limits. U need to find your limit bcuz YOU bout to spoil the hell outta women that don't appreciate your friendship enuff to warrant it. I'm not sayin it's as dire as what Anonymous was sayin about a woman bringing you up on charges for undressing her out of grungy clothes, but goin all out and then your friend doesn't ask: did it cost YOU anything to get me home? How did YOU get home? How can I return the favor, can I at least take YOU out to dinner, etc,. THAT's what a friend would do. Women already have entitlement issues, now U spoiling them even more just by re-telling this story. smdh
DC Man With a Plan

To further explain my logic (or lack there of) IF a woman is grown enuff to go out and get drunk without A plan to have anyone look out for her--she's an idiot playin with fire and ultimately you're hindering her growth and producing a co-dependency. You're preventing her from reaching the "ah-ha" moment where SHE realizes she's unnecessarily putting herself in harms way. How is she gonna learn a hard truth if you keep rescuing her azz? She has irresponsible behavior and sooner or later--it's gonna bite her in the azz. Ppl don't just do stupid shyt once, they do it multiple times. What if she got drunk off her azz Sat and Sun night too? Is someone supposed to intervene despite her protests EACH time? Are U kidding me. She needs to experience waking up not knowing how she got home and undressed to SNAP the f@ck outta being so naive and stupid. Hopefully nothing bad happens b4 she "gets it" but who is to say? It's her life. U wanna play with a loaded gun, don't look to me to hide your bullets. As far as a dude goes--brotha man short bcuz I am NOT undressing a grown azz man. U just gonna have to lay in your mess bcuz I can't go there for any dude. F that. Get a girlfriend.....lol
Aurora

What do y’all think, did I handle the situation right or was I asking for trouble?

Hanging out with an alcoholic for any reason whatsoever is always trouble.

Was it wrong for me to undress a woman when she was inebriated?

Not in this case. She needed to be cleaned up, and you were polite and respectful. This wasn't about trying to have sex with her. It was basic decency.

Do you believe that I didn’t sneak a peak or feel?

Yes

Would it have been better for me to have left Tanya in her own vomit?

She deserved to face the coinsequences of her own actions - and it would have been GROSS!

Have you ever had to take care of a drunk friend?
One crashed my car in college (i wasn't in the car - he had borrowed it to go to a 7-11.) He never paid me back.
That's the last time I willingly hung out with a drunk.

Would you clean up another person’s vomit?

Not likely.

Do you think it’s worse when a woman gets that drunk?

No, doesn't matter whether it is a man or a woman.

Should I have just left Tanya at the club when she said she was fine?

Probably

Have you ever hurled in a cab before?

No

Does Tanya owe me $80 for my troubles?

Most definitely if she has any shame, regret, embarrassment or sense of responsibility at all.

Was I too good of a friend?

Yes. You cooperated with being the caretaker of a drunk. Drunks need to have to face their actions without having someone clean up or make excuses or otherwise enable them.
Your intentions were good.
I'd have to ask yourself though, why is being around alcohol fun for you?
That's the issue here.
Not her -- you and YOUR choices of places to be.
Scorpio Temptress

Ans I think you did the right thing. so what you took her clother off big deal. Bra and panties: Bikini same thing. You didn't violate her in anyway and I'm sure she was very grateful because if you didn't wait for her, her night could have been alot worst. Tell your friends stop tripping I would have been eternally grateful to have a male friend do that cuz Guys like you don't come around too often in those situations.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Candice

But I am a sick perv, haven't you read Wet Wednesdays? LOL. I kid.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@DC Man

You a funny dude, as always.

How you adding all these endings to the story. Who said she didn't pay me back? Well, actually she didn't LOL but you just assumed.

I didn't continue any further in story because I protect my sources and I never know who the heck is reading. Don't want no problems. Lol.

But long story short, she didn't remember a damn thing. Had no clue how she got home, that I was at her place, etc and wouldn't have known hadn't I called the next day to check in. Needless to say she was embarrassed and we just tucked the whole experience in a never do that again box.

This was years ago, but I might wanna ask for my $80 now.

Lol
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Aurora

Again, this was a lifetime ago. Shoot might have been almost 10 years now. So trust neither Tanya or myself are living the fast life.

I'm not a drinker I just blog a lot. Lol.
Rastaman

@NWSO
Nice of you to regale us with more of your "Captain" stories. LMAO!!

But seriously you are to be respected for looking out for your girl. It did not seem that you were all that close but you had her back. Some folks reading this may feel embarassed that they would not put themselves out for another person like that, one based on your description was no more than an acquaintance at best.

You my man are an Officer (Captain) and a Gentleman. There are not a lot of those left anymore, so much some women are shocked when men exhibit those qualities. Even going as far as undressing her and tucking her in, That is a little further than i would go. Once I get u in ur door, I generally stop there.

One thing thats sad though is that you had to defend yourself for being that thoughtful and conscientious. Its as if your motives are suspect because you went above and beyond. I am far from being all starry eyed and shit but I would appreciate someone looking out for me if I was incapacitated.

If I encountered a "friend" at a club who was incapacitated as Tanya was, I would definitely try to help them out. If we lived in the same area, I would take them home no doubt, I know I would feel like a real shithead if something tragic happened to them worse than being barfed on, out $80 or having to walk home in the dead of winter.

Drunk is drunk, man or woman its never pretty, especially if upchucking is involved. Halle Berry wouldn't be pretty, drunk and thrown upped. having been there on a few occasions and my fellas having my back. It was probably scarier for Tanya when she woke up the next day, in her underwear, in bed and not remembering fuilly how she got home or undressed. My worst episode of drinking too much involved not recalling and its some scary shit.

What did she say to you when you spoke next?
Sherell

@NWSO
I was the Anonymous naked reply. I forgot to put in my info. Ok Either way is cool. What you did and the nakedness
FrequentPhly-er

At the end of the day you were doing way too much and putting yourself in a way awkward position.

1) You should have just bounced once she said your not her father, mistake # 1

2) You decide to wait and get in a cab with her, ok, but you're letting her sprawl over your lap, thats just dumb esp since you knew she was drunk as shit. mistake # 2

3) Then you undress her... unneccessary, so what if she lays in her own vommit, I've def done it before, I think we all have at one point or another. Mistake #3

4) Asking the cabbie how much it cost? you should have told him "here's an extra $20, cocksucka beat it" Mistake #4

5) Not taking a cab home, I know they got ATMs in queens. Mistake #5

6) Getting half naked yourself and sleeping on the floor of bedroom, what no couch in the living room? Mistake #6

It just sounds like you were asking for trouble in the guise of being a nice guy. You had a lot of opportunies to make better decisions and keep things outta the grey but you decided to go the other way for whatever reason... questionable.
Chloe Barksdale

Okay, your friends are tripping. Why do people always have to make something sexual? I have home boys that are nothing more and though they may be attracted to me and I to them, we have set boundaries and that is that. I see nothing wrong with you taking off some nasty disgusting vomitted clothing. Would it be better to lay her in the bed and mess up everythign else? Hell she threw up on you and you were out eighty stacks. She just needs to be thankful you cared enough about her to do what you did. Hell I had a motorcycle accident and slid my ass down the expressway on my behind taking all the skin off it and the palms of my hands. My entire bike club AND about four others came to visit me at home. All I could do was lay on the sofa in a pair of thongs and a t-shirt and everyone that came over saw my ass. Did I care? Hell no. I was just glad that people cared. You were a GREAT friend and she should have been thanking you every chance she got.
Malia

This is ridiculous. You got her home, cleaned up her vomit, got her into bed as clean as reasonably possible and girls are tripping off the fact that you took her clothes off? They better wish their male friends would even take care of them like that instead of leaving them stranded in the club or trying to catch a cab (and she probably didn't have fare, I would have tried to pay the fair with her money).
Chloe Barksdale

@Malia, I agree. He should have made her pay for her FAIR share. And if he didn't, she should have been woman and grateful enough to offer to repay him the ENTIRE eight bucks, because in the end, he WALKED HOME! We as women should be elated to see a gentleman doing exactly that...being a GENTLEMAN! Kudos to you Mr.NWSO!
King Cho

You did the right thing! Sometimes it's cool to play the gentleman even if no one else agrees with it. I completely understand why you wouldn't want her to sleep in her puke covered clothes. I wouldn't want to sleep in my own. You are a good friend for looking out for her and for all that you had to endure that night! I commend your efforts my brotha!

However, I would of been cussing her out the whole cab ride, and while taking her into her apartment. If I had no intention of hooking up with her and only considered her a "friend," I would of treated her like one of the dudes! I don't care how fine she is!

I wouldn’t want to clean my own vomit up so hell now to cleaning another person’s vomit! I would of sat her a$$ down into the tub/shower with her legs hanging out/over the tub. Then I would of turned the cold water on to give her a taste of sober reality! Then I would of thrown a couple towels on her to keep her warm...to dry herself off and to get comfortable for the rest of the night. The tub would of been her bed for the night!

It is worse when a woman gets that drunk because she is more vulnerable than a man in that state of mind. I believe woman are independent and can take care of themselves but I wouldn’t want my family or close female friends to be left as someone’s prey. So helping her was cool. I have never hurled in a cab and I feel bad for you and the cabby! I know he was pissed! Tanya owes you, the cost of the cab ride plus extra money for all your troubles!
That Guy

You did the right thing dude.. Queens, drunk black girl, late night, foreign cab driver.. she would have ended up a good episode of law and order...

I've seen most of my good female friends naked or atleast topless, over 25, people shouldnt be such prudes (its nothing new), especially given the situation.

The only thing I would have done different is definenlty asked her for atleast $40 for her upchucking, she should have offered in my opinion anyway..

lastly, her home girls need to be slapped for not making sure she got home safe, or why was she slizzard out alone, either way, its not your role technically, shes dumb for being in that state without a plan to get home, what if you did actually have ill intentions... thats what the women at the table should have been discussing, how not to be in that situation instead of coming at you for being considerate.
my 2 cents

Ok I think you did the right thing. I have many male friends that have my back some like a father some like a big brother. You would have had to have that on your mind if something would have happened to her. If you read his last comment this was many years ago and both of them have gotten it together. We have all had our wild days when we were younger and many of them not our finest moments. To have a friend there male or female to help you out is something we all need and can use.
http://www.twitter.com/carmool carmool

I think you did the honorable thing. God Bless You for taking her clothes off, do you know what that mess smells like in the morning? It starts the vomitting all over again! my dumazz has been in this situation be4 (just 1nce i learned the lesson no need to repeat it) an my boy took my clothes off an slept in the bed with me (he feared i would throw up in my sleep an choke) I wasn't upset and I believed him when he told me he didn't touch me. who wants to get it in with an uber drunk broad?
FrequentPhly-er

By the way I absolutely do not think that NWSO or any man at that would not have at very least peaked at her body, come on son!

I'm sorry opposite sex, close off, dark enclosed area, drunkedness (I'm sure he had some drinks too), shorty was face down in his lap!, weather or not vommit was included in the situation, I'm sure thoughts came to the mind of NWSO.

Fellas take that same situation and throw your girl or your sister or daughter in it and tell me oh that there's nothing wrong with that scenerio... Right exactly.
TheLeoGrl

CO-SIGN with Frequent...you peeked (you're a MAN for goodness sakes!)....but I believe everything else!
http://ihatethewayyoueatcereal.wordpress.com/ Silent Scorpion

I know you peeked and that's why you should have left her ass in her own vomit. You could have possibly found a towel for her to lay her in but then thats it. I'm just thinking if I woke up from a drunken stupor and found myself half naked with a man next to me (I know you were on the floor) I would freak out first, ask questions later.
N/A

The question is how did your home girl feel about undressing her in that state? I have a feeling if you would have left her in that mess they would have had something to say. Shame on anyone for being in that situation and being so far from home. She was lucky to have a friend like you instead of some jerk that would have done god knows what!!!! Even though I most likely would never be in this situation I don't see a big issue of your actions
crystal g.

I was anonymous #2 . I read your reply- WOW. I never said the cab driver should 've walked her in; you knew enough of where she lived to give him good-enough direction, i quote "She was originally from L.A. and was horrible with directions so I always had to direct the cab to her house first before I got dropped off...I knew Tanya’s block ". [And] i never said your intentions was wrong. I was giving common scenarios to keep the innocent outta harms way. And im sorry that your friend was rapped; but i hope u weren't using that to justify ur actions in this case. That 'ah-ha' moment,which dc man with a plan mentioned (hella funny), needed to come from both ends of the party. She needed to be more responsible and you being a perfect naive gentleman shouldv'e learned when and where to be a gentleman. But u said u'all both left the party scene some time ago- that's great.
Newbie99

#2 reason why I don't drink, I am so scared to end up in a situation like this.
NWSO, you are a good man. Whether you peeked or palmed her, you are a good man. Everyone throwing out their 2 cents, would it have been better if Tanya became one of those cases we hear about. Her friends were popping off at the gums smh. Women, no one can do right by us. Its complain, nit pick, complain some more. Someone selflessly does this for your friend and all you can do is call him out on seeing her naked. She had already made a fool of herself, then threw up all over a cab and this young man and they are worried about him seeing her underwear??

I commend you for what you did. I am the designated driver of the group and I have the pleasure of caring for my drunk female and male friends, I'd rather they embarrass themselves while in my company than on their own.
ATLs.Marc.of.Excellence

Something very similar happened to me and one of my ex's...

We weren't together anymore, but still (sorta) lived under one roof. She calls me up one night, haaaaaammered, begging me to come get her. I go to get her, and she's ralphing out the car she's sitting in. she cleans up a bit, stumbles into my car and proceeds to ramble for the majority of the 30 minute ride, how I'm such a great guy. We get home, she's passed out. I carry her from the car to the bed, undress her (no feels copped) and take my ass to sleep on the couch.

*and they say chivalry is dead.
http://www.twitter.com/carmool carmool

@atls.Marc High Five my man I'm sure she greatly appreciated you, an I believe you!
R.e.D

Your friends (the ones u were telling this to over dinner)know you better than we do on this blog. So my question is why do they think you shouldn"t have undressed her?? Do they see you in a different light than we do here? Are you not as 'gentlemanly' as you seem to be? I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here. ...but I do wonder...Anyway, you were being a friend and really that is exactly what friends do. All the other guys here talking about you went too far or gave too much...reallly?? Of course you didn't. I can see my brothers/father or some of my good male buddies doing the same thing for a true friend. Now if u and tanya weren't all that close, THEN and only then, did you go above and beyond and should be praised.
EnglishRose

I salute you NWSO....You are a deboniar, chilvarous gentleman and you knew your intentions for helping this young lady out. It is to be applauded as a rscal could have taken advantage of the situation.

Tanya should really have paid you your cash back as a gesture of appreciation (even though she didn't know how she got home and the follow-on call alerted her to your goodness)

I have hurled in a cab before and that was the start of the end for me drinking. A £5 cab fare from the train station became a £55 fare for a journey of 3miles. Before taxi was called for me by train station staff, was sat in a wheelchair and was so out of it and other passengers were looking at me in disgust. Never have i felt so embarassed in my life as i had to face the staff who helped me on the daily commute after that incident.

Now i am the one who takes care of drunk friends and i see my old self in them and it's definately not a good look!
lola289

Good Job NWSO...um u should have left the clothes on so she would have known what she did!

yea you got a peek...lol!

If it was recent then yea she owes u, but ten yrs... sorry.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Rastaman

Thanx, sir.

Next day was just embarrassment and conveying that getting suaced like that is thatsabadlook.com.

I wasn't even sweating the dough at the time, was what it was. K.I.M.
Samira = )

I would want someone to look after me like this. I wouldn't get that wasted in public anyway unless I was with someone that would look after me. In a situation like this though you have to weigh ur actions. If you are pretty good friends I am sure she appreciates everything you did for her(making sure she didn't sleep in vomit. Ewwwww). If you are more like associates then this would not have been a good thing(leave the clothes on). Obviously u knew what kind of person you were dealing with and acted like a good friend. And peeking is okay ; )(u earned it).
rwifey

i didnt feel like i needed to comment until:

I’m not a drinker I just blog a lot.

hahahahahahhhahahahahhahahahahahahahahah

classic!
http://nwso.net NWSO

@frequentPhly-er

I'll address your doubt.

1) Don't see looking out for someone as a mistake, especially someone already not in their right frame of mind. It's not like there weren't other people we both knew there, in fact, our other boy who used to split cabs with us was there too and I was gonna pass the buck to him, but he scored a shorty and was on a booty run, so I played babysitter—by choice.

2) She was sprawled over the backseat from jump. I had to prop her up to get myself in the car. Honestly wasn't thinking about her upchucking. So yeah, that was prob my bad. Lesson learned.

3) Tomes when I was the drunk one, my ex and my boy got me out of my clothes and cleaned up the hurl in the bed. #RealFriends

4) Honestly, I felt bad. I'm not some person that can just ass the buck on someone like that. He didn't have to pick me up and he could have easily kicked us out on the highway when she started hurling. I/She soiled his property and his mode of making a living, it;d be foul to just say oh well. But maybe that's just me.

5) Actually, this was like 2000 or so, I didn't have an ATM then. I had this little savings bank with only three locations in the continental USA. That's why I had so much money on me, I used to carry more than I needed just in case since I had no access to cash other ways.

6) Like I said in an earlier reply, there was no couch. She just moved in and the place was barely furnished. Only reason I was half naked, was because my pants were hanging to dry in the bathroom. Aside from that my clothes were in tact

SECOND COMMENT
Sorry, I didn't look. I had drinks earlier but once I got on babysitter duty I stopped drinking. Clearly I didn't drink that much if I had $80 on me. I carried a decent amount on me back then, but not that much.

Oh, of course a thought crossed my mind, but a thought and actual action are two different things.

While you probably can't trust the average man in that scenario, I ain't the one for those games. I don't cross that line, especially with someone that drunk.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@Silent scorpion

She didn't wake up until like 4 the next afternoon, I was gone at like 6:30am. I had to walk my little brother to school, remember. So no waking up with some man on the floor.
http://nwso.net NWSO

@crystalG

Yeah, doubt average cabbie looks to walk someone in, but she was really gone and if left to her own devices she probably would have been asleep in the grass. So someone had to walk her not just to the door but in it as well.

As for the directions, honestly, I'm not a driver and am bad with streets myself, I know train stations and such. Other than that my cab directions, usually consist of turn here, turn there, I go off surroundings rather than actual street names etc. May sound crazy, but the plight of a non-driver that usually travels UNDER the streets
http://nwso.net NWSO

@R.E.D.

Good devil's advocate question, but nah, they know me, know me, and know I ain't that kind of dude. They were just morally turned off by the idea of a man/me taking a woman's clothes. They were just like oh hell nah, leave me in my vomit. They didn't want to hear any other option than that.
@JusLisaE

Child PUHLEEASE!! I DONT DO body fluids! Vomit, blood, sweat,not for me! I fall in the bad friend category i guess bc Im not doing any of that shit! We are adults and I dont hang with chics that like to drink until they cant see that is retarded to me. The most im doing is hailing you a taxi or calling your man to come deal with you. Thank God i have never been in this situation! You want to drink until your vital signs are gone do that shit in your house.

Over and Out.

Smooches Booches!
Artivist

NWSO, you're quite noble. I think I will just echo the sentiments of those who applauded you. I had to laugh when you said that you were disgusted at the thought of cleaning up the Cabbie's cab floor. I'd be repulsed too! I've never cleaned up the vomit of a person over 8 years old-- and I do NOT ever intend to, lol. My friends never get smashed t the point where they have to be carried out, so I've never experienced anything like your comedy of errors. Oh, well they say "no good deed goes unpunished." Also, I think I love you a little bit now.
AGK

Uuumm, excuse me!
U just spent all ur money on a girl that cussed u out, made sure she got home safe AND made sure she wouldnt wake up smelling like shit the nxt morning... What exactly is the problem here??? Ur friends need to stop, and she needs to give u half (if not more) ur money back and a present too! Ungrateful ppl, i tell ya...
If she'd been raped on her way back, she wouldnt really appreciate that, would she? U were there for here while she was vulnerable and that's what matters to me.
Despite the fact that women are COMPLETELY unattractive when they're piss drunk, u did what u thought was right.
Well done to you.
Sam

Ohh i've been "tanya" before sometime last year, and it was the worst thing ever waking up, and not remembering the night before. I think Ans did the right thing, and i hope my male friends would do the same if the situation ever occured again-NOT!. Lesson learned! =)

Luckily for me i was with my ex-bf and his family at the time of the incident, and that's probably why i felt it was safe to get all "white boy wasted". That might have been Tanya's reasons too once she noticed you came to tell her it was time to go home. *shrugs*. Kudos to you for the effort of being "too good of a friend".

I've never hurled in a cab before, but a plastic bag in the car that night saved his upholstrey. As for cleaning up someone's vomit? EWW cleaning my own mess had me mortiied. haha.

Drunken friends-NOPE and if so i'll be there until thier safe and sound at home minus the vomit i hope. All in all i believe your intentions meant well, but when she stated "you're not my daddy" i probably would have been said bye & left her alone.
Sam

Oh and jesus must have been with you that night while cleaning up her clothes. Lawd mi gawd, lol. I would have done like King Cho said and put her in the tub quick and fast. haha.
I agree with the 2nd entry of DC Man With A Plan & Rastaman also.
At some point in time Tanya should have realized her consumption of alcohol can have you feeling "nice" but she needs to know when to stop.
She's lucky because there may have been another case where there isn't a guy like yourself to assist her. As for that 80 bucks-" SHOW ME THE MONEY", lol. In this case i feel as though it was due to be paid back & those slacks dry cleaned.
QuoteMan

DC Man, you’re the truth, homie LOL

NWSO, though I commend you on getting homegirl to her crib safe and sound, this BTW was an honorable thing to do; the undressing her part was going an extra mile and this, you were playing with fire. Apparently, you knew whom you were dealing with, so no biggie. I could understand where your boys are coming from though. Sometimes it is much fun when you break someone’s balls (pause) just because……, but I’m sure they meant well.

OK, some of the ladies are confusing me. First, you gave dude his props and called him a gentleman and by the same token you’re saying he should’ve cuss homegirl out? I don’t know what y’all definition of a gentleman is. SMDH

Now a thing of the past, I’ve been in a similar situation before. I was 18, just out of high school; which is about 10 summers ago. Two of my boys and I were about to en route to a party; as ritual, we always “get nice” before every party with a bottle or two beers. This time, we decided to go where we’ve not tread before; with 80 proof absolute vodka. Now, anyone familiar with this “juice” knows how tasteless it is, almost like was water.

“This is nothing, I don’t need a chaser,” I said to my boys.

Bear in mind this was in my boy, Dread’s bedroom; parents were asleep by next door. My memory served me for the next two hours; the rest was relay to me the next morning. LOL

I woke up in a peculiar state, tucked in someone’s bed, just in my boxers and someone's shirt. WTF. I had my first hangover and confused as a baby raccoon.

The story was, I was wasted, threw up all over their carpet. In fear of being busted by the parents, they had to clean up the room and change my clothes.

I remember saying this goes against the law of all laws, the man law, that is. Dread was quick to point out; there is nothing sexy about undressing a drunk ass dude but I left them no choice.

To add insults to injury, when word got back to our other friends (both dudes and females) why we missed the party; the inside joke was

“dude, bring sexual harassment charges against the entire family because you’ve been violated”. LOL. That was just dudes being dudes, at least my dudes.

Funny thing is, we were still busted for all that trouble. SMDH

Now at 28, gone are those days.
Siantej

Aside from getting puked on, you did NOTHING wrong.
Anonymous

You did the right thing...but you know you sneaked a cheeky look at her goodies .
Vitorria

You did the right thing, but lets be honest.

If there wasn't some sort of feeling between you and this drunken hot girl. You wouldn't have waited until the club was over, spent $80 to get her home, and made sure she wasn't drenched in vomit before you laid your head to rest.

I'm not saying that you didn't sneak a peak or had other intentions. I think its quite honorable and gentleman like the way you treated her. But you do have some sort of feelings for this girl or you wouldn't have gone the extra mile, especially because you had a responsibility to your little brother the next day!!!

I've been reading your blogs the last week, and you appear to be a very nice man, but you also appear to be the type of man who lives in a state of denial. You make all these excuses for what you do, comparing yourself to martyr's and "who I used to be". Be comfortable with your growth and be honest!!! You're a good dude and don't have to sugar coat what you do.

I would say, "I like this girl, and I didn't want to see her get in a messed up situation, so I sacrificed my money and time to make sure she was ok. I know to my boys I sound like a punk, but hey, it is what it is, and it was the right thing to do".

Keep doin what you doin

Peace

Vitorria
SaveMe

You are a good friend. Me and my friends look out for each other when we go out and have a few drinks. Now a days it is important to have someone watching your back. It alway helps to know your limits when you go out alone
DC Man With a Plan

lmao @ Quoteman...Now THAT's a story for life!
Starita34

Been there, done that. Very grateful to my homeboy that took me out of my clothes, damn near carried me into my house, and had to peel me off the bathroom floor. He even slept in the bed with me, no big deal...we'd slept together plenty of times with no hanky panky. I don't even care if he did take a peek, which I'm sure he did, and in my state, I'm sure I was NOT cute in the least!

On the flip I've taken care of many a drunken friend. You went above and beyond and were a great friend. Some of the extra coulda been cut out and you still woulda been a great friend, but ya know ya do what ya do in the situation. It's all about motivation and intent to me and your heart seemed to be in the right place.

I do think it's worse when women get in these situations a) it's terribly unladylike b) we are very vulnerable to terrible things happening in that state. And for reason b) alone I think that you deserve a frickin medal for being Captain Sav-a-Ho of the UpChuckaWaa tribe in this instance.

Of course I'd clean up another person's vomit...ya know we clean up baby's vomit and other waste on a regular, grow up.

Hell Yes, Tanya owes you $80, with ~~get it~~ interest!
http://MoreAndAgain.wordpress.com MoreAndAgain

I think it's more of a bad look on her part, than it is on yours. 1- Everyone should drink responsibly (male or female) and 2- she knows she has issues getting home. She doesn't come off looking good in this story by any stretch of the imagination.

You, on the other hand, look like a saint.lol. Can we be friends?lol. But, really, you weren't wrong for taking her clothes off. You didn't violate her, or date rape her, you helped her out of vomit covered clothing. I'd get the argument if she had a boyfriend or a husband, but (from your story) it sounds like she doesn't. So, yeah, you're a good friend. She should be thanking you. And, she definitely owes you $80+
RC Turi

I NEVER get twisted at a party like that. What if you weren't there? It's not like she showed up with you.

I agree with MoreAndAgain, she does not come off looking good at all.
bogart4017

Your did the right thing but took a terrible risk. The people in this country are always looking to litigate so its a good thing she knew you and vice versa.
That said - i'm glad to read a story about us helping each other (the way it used to be) and hope we continue to do so. Don't even sweat the snide remarks about you "taking a peek". I've been where you were and there is nothing on a drunk, vomiting woman you want to look at i don't care how fine she is.