What If I Stopped Blogging? (The Value Of Me Time)

0 Posted by - May 10, 2010 - Creative Writing & Fiction

There's-No-Blog

Morning/Afternoon/Evening, Sock Heads,

Today’s post will be a bit different and hopefully y’all can feel where I’m coming from. See, I’ve had a lot on my mind these past few weeks and I just haven’t been myself. I’ve felt in a rut, stuck and uninspired.

If you’ve paid attention to recent posts like “Could You Die From a Lack of Sleep? (A Living Nightmare),” “Do You Feel Underappreciated? (I Dunno)” and “How Will You Be Remembered? (My Life After Death)” you may have got the sense that something was up.

Or, maybe not.

Whatever the case I’ve just felt under pressure lately. Like I’m constantly being pulled in different directions and not going where I want to go. I make myself too available to people and have just been too damn reliable. So I needed a moment to myself.

So I stopped.

On a Wednesday.

A Wet Wednesdays.

I had too much on my plate and mind, and couldn’t muster the energy to write or edit a piece of erotica.

So I didn’t.

I worked on something that would put some money in my pocket and then went to sleep. I felt good not having this pressure to produce and promote my blog. I felt like I was back in college, where for my last two years I had a day off that was smack dab in the middle of the week. I still had to go to work, but after almost two years straight of blogging I didn’t have to blog.

I awoke in a good mood. I could sleep in and take a long(er) shower. I could take my time and make a hearty breakfast instead of tweets and FaceBook tags.

But when I did log into the Twitterverse I saw a few frantic tweets from readers wondering where their weekly dose of erotica was. Some pondered if something was wrong as if death, illness or tragedy were the only possible reasons for my digital absence.

I typed out a few responses to those that got @ me, before tweeting my general statement for the day: “No #WetWednesdays today. No Regrets. Talk amongst yourselves.”

I closed my laptop. Got dressed. And walked out the door.

I had no regrets. For once my Blackberry wasn’t flooded with a bunch of comment alerts that I painstakingly read each day during my morning and evening commute. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate everyone that contributes to the site’s community and shares their thoughts, because if y’all take the time out of your day to read what I’ve written it’s only right that I do the same and read every single comment. But as the site has grown, that part of the process has become daunting at times.

So I needed a day off.

I’ve spent the last year, 10 months and six days being reliable. Every day like clockwork I delivered a new blog around midnight. I even went on a blog marathon twice, delivering 90 blogs in 30 days in 2008, and 60 blogs in 30 days in 2009. With that said, I painted myself into a corner where people expected me to always be there. Whether I wanted to or not.

Do you know how much pressure that is?

Or, worse yet, how much pressure a perfectionist can put on himself?

Although I know deep down that people won’t abandon me or the blog if I skip a day (or two), it’s still a fear that I have. I pride myself on being reliable, dependable and someone that you can count on. I just don’t want to fail.

You or myself.

Before I started Naked With Socks On I sought the counsel of established blogger Eskay of NahRight and his one word of advice was to always be “consistent.” People can like your writing to death but they need to know that there is something to come back for. I took that advice to heart and ran with it.

For better or for worse.

So here I am one year, 10 months and six days later tired and burnt out.

I need a vacation…

From myself.

Despite all the flak I got for skipping out on Wet Wednesdays and singlehandedly “ruining” some people’s week, I can’t promise that it won’t happen again.

In the past when I’ve talked about my workaholic nature, readers have said how I need to take more time for myself. All work and no play makes NWSO a dull boy and whatnot.

Well, I think I’ve finally reached that point where I have to listen.

I’m tired of waking up each morning to the sound of an alarm so that I can get to my computer and attend to blog business before eating and heading to work, only to get in front of another computer to do more of the same in the online sphere. Then, when I finally clock out, I hop back on the iron worm to read through emails on my phone before having dinner and jumping back on my laptop to write/edit another blog before my self-imposed midnight deadline.

But it’s what people have come to expect from me. All day Wednesday were comments and tweets from people asking where the day’s blog was. How dare I not deliver. Some people truly thought something was terribly wrong, just because there wasn’t something new to read.

I needed a day off.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I actually wanted to take the rest of the week off, but my workaholic nature wouldn’t let me stay away that long. Still, it felt good to be free of my blogging shackles—at least for a day.

Now, please don’t take any of this as me complaining. I love you guys and I’ve worked too hard to build this brand and community to forsake it like that. My professional career doesn’t afford me the freedom to write what’s in my heart and I’m usually restricted to penning articles about things that either don’t matter to me or are trite at best. But here, I get to write things with substance, that make me laugh or just let me vent, like now.

Although I’ve operated like one, I am not a machine. My fellow bloggers take breaks and step away. Some even have staffs to help carry the load. That’s partly why I’ve made the call to readers and anyone else down for the cause to join team NWSO, because if my plans for this site (and the books I have yet to start) are to truly come to fruition there’s no way I can do it on my own. I can’t count the number of times people hit me up thinking NWSO is comprised of several individuals only to discover it’s just one tired man with an opinion.

Again, I’m not complaining because I did this to myself, but I just needed to get this out. I needed y’all to know where I was mentally. If I continued to write just for writing’s sake like nothing had happened and didn’t keep it real, then I’d be fakin’ the funk and I don’t do phony too well.

I just needed some time to get my thoughts together.

The other day I left work and the weather was wonderful. Rather than rushing to the train station like I normally do to return to my bat cave to craft another blog I took the scenic route and strolled the streets of Manhattan for a bit. It was during that walk that I decided things would have to change.

For the most part, my workweeks are dedicated to work—both professional and personal. I don’t hit after work spots for drinks, dinner with friends, parties, events or bar mitzvahs. As soon as the 9-to-5 is done, it’s NWSO time but I’ve decided to call an audible.

From now on if the mood strikes me or someone invites me out during the week—even on a Wet Wednesdays—I’ll go with my gut. Of course finances and deadlines might not make that possible every single time and I don’t plan on abandoning Wet Wednesdays (the ladies would have a riot) but I’m going to give “me time” more time.

The world won’t stop without NWSO but sometimes…

NWSO stops me.

Not anymore.

I know some might not be pleased with the possibility of less NWSO, but I hope most of you will understand where I’m coming from. Besides I wouldn’t want to see the quality of my work diluted in the name of quantity.

Don’t worry, I don’t plan on disappearing altogether but just opening up to the idea of more me time and not being a slave to the blogosphere. Sounds good, right?

Oh, and even when I do take a day off you can always get a dose of my inner thoughts on a smaller and more interactive scale on twitter follow @NakedWithSocks.

See y’all tomorrow… Maybe.

Were you upset/shocked when there was no Wet Wednesdays last week? Was your first thought that something had happened to me or was it not that big of a deal to you? How often do you get “me time” for yourself? Are you excited at the idea of me looking to take more “me time?” Are you secretly mad at the idea? Do you feel as if I put too much pressure on myself? Would you be willing to submit guest posts for the site or open to the idea of joining Team NWSO? What are your thoughts on stream of consciousness posts like this? When was your last day off? I need to book a vacation for this summer, where should I go?

Speak your piece…

call in sick for work

BONUS: MEET NWSO LIVE IN NYC

Paul Carrick Brunson’s Modern Day Matchmaker Live tour is hitting New York next month and yours truly is on the panel, along with a host of other relationship bloggers and experts. (See flyer for specifics).

I’d love to see you in the building on Thursday, June 3. Not only will it be a great event but I don’t get to interact with my readers that often so why not now.

The venue is Providence, which is located at 311 West 57th Street, NYC. Doors open at 8pm and the show, which will be taped, will run from 8:30 to 10:30. The after party, which will give folks the chance to mingle with the panel, will kickoff right after until 2am.

CLICK HERE to purchase tickets. The tickets are $25 for the panel discussion and $10 for the after party, but NWSO readers will get 20% off the price by entering “NWSO” as your discount code.

It should be fun and I can’t wait to see you there.

For more info, hit the official FaceBook invite or the flyer below.

  • daniATL

    I read the site religiously but I don’t comment a lot. In fact this may be my first comment. But I think that a break may be a great thing. Could add more creativity to your writing process. Also, I really appreciated the transparency of those posts you mentioned above. At some point down the line maybe you could consider a regular, more condensed schedule, like Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Consistent but not crushing, you know what I mean.

  • http://ecstasykmichele.blogspot.com Kaye Michele

    It’s funny…I remember when I emailed you my info and asked about what it takes to be a blogger, the first thing you told me was to ‘be consistent’. I never forgot it – and when I started working on my blog(s) and working on my writing, I did my best to follow your advice.

    As the days waned on and my catering business took off, my blog(s) fell behind and I wondered to myself, “how does NWSO do it? I am EXHAUSTED”!! So I’m almost glad in a sense that you wrote this, because it lets me know that I am not the only tired perfectionist out there.

    Not that I want you to be tired, though.

    I’m glad you caught yourself and admitted that you need a break sometimes. I think that you will be able to work this out and find your happy medium that you need to be able to continue with your brand and still do what you need to do for you. =o)

  • http://ecstasykmichele.blogspot.com Kaye Michele

    Also, you might be surprised by the clarity and additional creativity that will come from taking it a little easier on yourself.

  • Soulyn

    Ans, take all the time you need. I was surprised at no wet wed but it wasn’t that big a deal to me. NWSO is very consistent in comparison to other blogs. So I’ll be here regardless.

    If I feel its time for a “me time”, I take it. Sometimes a warning is issued, sometimes I disappear without a clue.

    Take care of yourself and do what you have to for your sanity.

  • http://myfingersarentbroken.com/ GinaMarie

    With the success of this blog I think you earn the right to take a day off and enjoy life! I have always been amazed at how you post 5 to 6 times a week @ midnight like clockwork. When there was no Wet Wednesdays I could have sworn you had the flu LOL

    Personally I’m just getting started with this whole blogging thing and I only post 4 times a week and I’m exhausted so I can imagine how you feel.

    I’m learning to that me time is important. I been reading this book by Jack Canfield “The Success Principles” and in it it stress how burnout is easily caused by not taking a break and having balance. So as result I still stay discipline by getting up early but now I take the time to eat a healthy breakfast, exercise, and mediate(all things that I love 2 do) b4 I start my day…it helps me stay calm.

    I set up a day once a week where I don’t do ANY work or deal with anyone’s problems…just chill an be lazy and eat cake LOL :-)

    I stop a certain time every evening and relax in a bubble bath, listen 2 music and mediate some more and just enjoy me. I find by doing these things I still get my work done even more because I am so much more relaxed and focused throughout the day instead of being drained and pressured.

    I’ma perfectionist and a workaholic too (already @ age 23 smh lol) so this was hard 4 me but I being doing this 4 about a month now and already I feel GREAT!

    So take all the time you need! You can still grind and enjoy the fruits of your labor! :-)

  • paulette_bajan_gal

    Join the club bro…. I work 7 days a week.Running a business…which this is…is a constant responsibility.I’m slacking this week too.Sometimes “me time” is more important.Been taking the time to visit beautiful places in NYC during the day instead of running the sewing machine and crocheting my life away.You really miss out on a lot when your head is buried to the cell or computer screen also…I deal with customer stuff from my cell on the subway and sometimes mid-way thru eating lunch I’m working.It’s mind boggling how much I work.

    I wanna make it to the event and the after party.Congrats on that.Take it easy.I don’t read daily like I used too.But I do like your blog a lot.Maybe blog every other day or something til you get yourself back up to speed.

  • http://www.damatrixstudios.com Chia

    I’m so glad that u finally burnt out! U were making everybody look bad! lmao. just kidding. i love that your realizing that your work isnt the most important part of your life. what is the direction that youre really trying to go and how can u get there? if i can help than id love to. and if you would ever like me to submit a blog post in the interest of giving you a day off it would be my honor. PS, i am soooo going to that event your doing! ;) enjoy your me time!

  • Rouge Thought

    I think that there are a lot of us casting our ‘pendejo’ (sorry I’m hispanic and it’s the only way I can describe it.) shackles aside and living for ourselves. It isn’t selfish to take care of you first (unless you have baby babies, after your child reaches a certain age you can put yourself first.) I was a little disappointed but could see that you needed the time. If you need to take a vacation take it. We all need to get away more than we think. If you need a place to start may I suggest the caribbean? I have my own bias to an island but I’m sure anyone of them will do. And you may have blogs for days.

  • Lola

    It’s ok to be tired and feel bow you. Take all the time you need, we’ll be here, at least I know I will. :)

    xoxo
    Lola

  • The Duchess

    Take your time.. I knew something was up but you are human & need days off to regroup.. I will still be here checking for you. You are the only blog I waste ANY of my time on :)

  • Lola

    Oops! I meant *how

  • JustMe

    Ans you have blogs that i havent even read yet. if you take a break i could actually catch up. your blogs are amazing and the really help me think on different perspectives in life. although i havent been reading long i can clearly see you deserve a break. i decided to try my hand at 30 poems in 30 days. and it was hard. some days i had nothing on my mind or even nothing to say. you do an awesome job!! take a break Ans you need it.

  • MsBlackmanSays

    Hey we all need time to clear our minds, unwind, and get rejuvenated…take all the time you need…you should probably walk away more often, get out, smell the roses and enjoy yourself…trust me your die-hard admirers aren’t going anywhere!

    Stay encouraged and take care of you!

  • lola289

    NOW ur burned out?
    damn Im late… I knew sumthin wasn’t right!

    But seriously u gotta figure out whats best for u and work w/ it…make a new schedule…
    amend some times and activities…
    something might have to go!

    A vacation will be nice but it wont help in the long run…its ok I get u wanna be like SupaBlogMan..
    but u might have to realize that ur human too..

    oh and mayb u should rent a cabin…no phones…no laptops…bring friends and chill! :-)

  • THATgyrl

    I’m like ‘Just Me’, Ans. You have so many blogs on here that I haven’t gotten the chance to read yet, let alone comment on. If you reduced the blog to less days a week you would not lose readers, definitely not me anyway. I think anticipation makes it even more enjoyable : ) So you do you. Rearrange your schedule, or take a vacation and regroup. Then you can look at everything with a clear head and decide what to do. And whatever that would be, I will support 100% because if you don’t take care of YOU first, then you can’t take care of (or cater to) other’s needs.

  • older & wiser

    Most bloggers post weekly, if you dropped down to M-W-F you would still be more consistent than many.

    I am all for taking “me time” and I play hooky as often as I can get away for it. Do you and don’t sweat the NWSO blog.

    We have been encouraging you to write your books and where else was the time going to come from? We all just have 24/7, so something else had to give, right?

    My vote for vacation is any where there is a beach where you can watch the tides roll away, :-). It’s very therapeutic!

  • crystal g.

    You should definitely take a break. ur too young, vibrant, and intelligent to let life pass you by like this. I love ur blogs becuase many of them are like memoirs :-D. Live and interpret; u owe it to urself. We’re just here to listen. note: i think a tropical or country vacation would b nice for a city-guy :-D.

  • Elle

    I agree with what’s been said thus far.

    Take care of yourself Ans. I’ve always been the first to criticize your workaholic behaviour because I think it is relatively unhealthy. While I do not want you to feel burnt out, I am happy that you decided to take some time out to smell the roses. What season is better to do this?

    Granted, I do not know you personally but I do care about your health and overall well being as a cyber-buddy/NWSO disciple.

    As I always say: live a little :)

  • Private Dancer

    Yours is the only consistent daily blog I know which has made it one of my favorites over the last year, 10 months etc. That said, I agree with others that maybe you can just do a Mon, Wed, Fri thing and keep that consistency we have all grown to love. But do you, Ans. Take the time you need so that this continues to be something you LOVE and look forward to doing. I appreciate your candid posts this past week. It’s another reason you personally have my respect. 1

  • bridgette

    I love the idea of taking time off! To answer one of your questions, I have not had an actual off day in almost 3 years (I’m at work now) I know the feeling you get when you feel like you’re being pulled in every direction–by the time I finish doing stuff for others, I am too tired to help myself! Take as much time as you need, enjoy the peace & quiet, watch a movie, watch traffic..whatever you need to do to keep your sanity. When you “skip” a day, that will give the faithful readers a reason to check it out when it comes back. Keep doing what you do BUT ONLY WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT. By the way, I am a new reader.

  • jlb

    As a man running two sites (theurbandaily.com and nodfactor.com) with a family I feel every single word in this post. As the late guru once rhymed ‘take a rest’ my man…

  • DC Man With a Plan

    Dude, C’mon Son! Are U kidding me? The ppl tweeting about missing Wet Wednesday and ppl in general who complain about you missing a day can kiss my Black AZZ! There, I said it FOR you. Now, if ANY of those ppl are writing you checks…THEY have a reason to expect something. But for free? They want commitment and obligations on your time and energy for FREE? And you’re concerned about it? U DO need a vacation. It really isn’t that serious; isn’t that critical. U need to take MORE breaks so ppl get used to you not always being here with fresh, new material. Let them read some of the old shyt. I’ve missed a countless number of your blogs so time to catch up would be GREAT, but you keep putting out new copy so I’ll neva be caught up, but I’m cool with that. I went to Negril for a week last month and I feel fantastic and newly ready for DC B/S again. But U my man, need to visualize THIS in your mind: it’s cool to take a day off every week from now on. Rotate the day. Make it Mon this week; Tues next week and so on. Since you’re concerned about “being there” and being consistent–that’s a schedule and it’s consistent. Call it the NWSO rolling Black out. For real, unless ppl are paying…….”F” that noise!

  • Sultry

    Were you upset/shocked when there was no Wet Wednesdays last week? I was disappointed last week, but figured you needed a break.
    How often do you get “me time” for yourself? I’m lucky I get me time every other Saturday. Other than the saturdays, it pretty much doesn’t exist. Having a 5yr old with activities pretty much does me in.
    Are you excited at the idea of me looking to take more “me time?” I’m very excited. I love how much effort you put into the blog, but what good are you to yourself or anyone else if you are over extended. Take a break, be merry and love yourself…or someone else (winks).
    Do you feel as if I put too much pressure on myself? You put a lot of pressure on your self. I admire that though. I have a goal, not school or work related, I want to accomplish and wish I was like you in that respect. You do need to start taking some time to regroup and make that a “consistent” thing to do. Those of us who are loyal will still be here.
    Would you be willing to submit guest posts for the site or open to the idea of joining Team NWSO? If I was creative enough to join team NWSO, I would in heart beat, but unfortunately thats not where my talents lay.
    What are your thoughts on stream of consciousness posts like this? It makes us all think about life and what direction we’re headed. Personally I think too much stress sucks. It’ll only lead to more problems.
    I need to book a vacation for this summer, where should I go? You mentioned that you took a nice stroll on a warm day. I suggest somehwere warm, sunny, slow paced and with the ocean at your finger tips. While you are away. The blog should go on a complete vacation. No thinking about your fans, work or much else.

  • Rouge Thought

    I agree with DC Man, but would also like to add that even if you are getting paid you get vacation, sick and personal time…

  • Jamelle

    Coming from a communication and English major; I say, take a break a come back fresh. Carpeideim. Sieze the day. Or only blog once a week.about everything that u feel is needed. Believe me, we will continue to read.ONELOVE

  • http://www.kmpblog.com Arie Rich

    Have u tried Guest blogging, or having guest bloggers on ur site to decrease ur workload? You can just have the posts scheduled to post on whatever dates. It’s all about time management. But I def. feel you on the taking a break from blogging sometimes.

  • Sherell

    Ans I always was concern for you and I did notice the tone/ message of the last few blogs. Your type smart, introspective, sensitive and driven really need to be careful. Even in explaining yourself you in essence wrote a blog!!!!!! You need to learn how to turn it OFF. All the way! It may take a lot of practice. Shut your mind off for a bit. Meditation may help.

    I woud be interested in A NWSO team especially if it helps you to take a break!

  • Shannon

    Hey, if you need a break, by all means take one. I haven’t had “me” time in so long, I don’t even know what it’s like anymore. My new adjusted idea of me time is being able to go to the grocery store without children or patients in tow or being able to shower for five minutes without hearing, “Mom, I need…” or “Mom, can I…” or “Mom, where is…” while I’m lathering. Or even worse, have uninvited guests keep me company while showering or in the bathroom.

    I swear nothing is scared in my house anymore.

    Even when I send my children home to Texas for the summer, I get no peace. Now that my supervisor knows my children are away, my work load almost doubles. I sleep intermittently and eat about the same as I sleep: not very much and not often enough to be healthy. As a nurse, I should know better.

    I work 95 to 100 hours a week now and I work seven days a week. I still have to run a household, raise two children, run errands, cook, clean, do laundry, help with homework, manage my own studies, and pay the bills. Not having a husband anymore makes it even harder.

    So one day, I got up to do my thing and I stopped dead in my tracks. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, and I didn’t want to miss it. So I called off; my supervisor asked me the reason and I said, “I’m calling off due to illness. I’m sick of working,” and hung up. He knew I’d been working everyday for a while and had no day off in almost 18 months, so he didn’t protest. I called in a cleaning service to clean my house and sent my laundry out to a laundry service. I went to the nearest spa and checked in for the day–okay, it was for four hours–and got the works: massage, eyebrow waxing, facial, makeup, hair, nails, and even a light lunch. Afterward I just went and did whatever came to me: I napped, I finished a book I bought a year ago and never got around to reading, I went to the mall, and I took my time. I was in no hurry.

    It felt great.

    I’ve often thought about taking a real vacation; instead of going home, maybe go to DisneyWorld or to the Bahamas. I’ve even thought about taking a cruise, but I would have to unload my children first.

    I think a team would be a great idea. As the saying goes, “What one man finds impossible, seventeen find simple.” It takes more than one finger to make a fist and a fist makes more of a mighty blow because all the fingers work together.

    By all means, NWSO, take the time to stop and smell the roses, literally, or you will get burned out.

  • MadBear

    I think you should have a contest to see whom you can add to your brand as a guest blogger or an associate.

    It would be interesting if you had a female voice to add to your own. Someone who is equally as driven and loyal to the brand who will give you a chance to rest and remain sharply creative, expand your brand while remaining consistent to your readers.

  • Akinidad

    Did I miss WW? Sure I did! Is it a big deal hell no… I took this opportunity to read some old posts and if i did not I would have done something else….

    Do you put to much pressure on yourself? Yes you do…you need to stop ASAP.. I burned out back in 2007 it’s not fun really…There can be no NWSO if there is no more Samuel right?

    So yes take a vacation beach or/and adventure sounds nice refreshing the body, the mind and the spirit.. Where? it’s really a matter of taste… I woudl go to Japan or Turquoise islands depending on the mood i’m in.

    And yes I like this new stream of posts it’s about better living and we often forget the basics in this speedy, competitive area we’re living in…

    So these posts tell me you know what to do..the question is : Can you handle putting your wellbeing before your need for perfection? (You should try and you might be surprised I developped quite a taste for it :) )

    Be well

    Aki

  • mmusi patrick

    Sho man you need a break.I read NWSO every time I come to work.I am here in South Africa. good luck man, just take a break like every one else.No one will be angry with you

  • Ravena

    Lol.

    Im burnt out on my semester and you’re blog is what I do when Im suppose to be studying lol. What a predicament.

    Its funny that you mention Eskay because I read this blog and NahRight everyday. I love both. I also liked the midnight post but sometimes we forget this is the work of a person and I’ve ran a site before and it was exhausting!

    Get rested up but stay consistent! ;)

  • QuoteMan

    I think sometimes we forget this is a “one man show” largely because of the consistency you’ve displayed thus far.

    In a way, I can’t even fault folks who were twittering about your absence on Wednesday, they’ve been spoiled. LOL.

    But in all seriousness, I agree with all the advice given today. Take care of yourself, a healthy you is a productive you and a productive you is a productive NWSO.

    Take all the time you need; socks heads, we have nothing but time.

    One

  • Ms. Honesty

    Yu Kno What? Ur me time iz really important. So itz cool if yu just wanna take a couple days or weeks 2 just kinda collect ur thoughts or whatnot. just dont 4get 2 come back every now and then and update ur articles cuz im a big fan of this site.

  • Rastaman

    “Bwoy, how you so lazy, you only got like three jobs and you complaining!!”
    LMBAO!!
    But seriously son, you going for a record or what?
    Live your life, plus how you gonna get better insights into this thing called life if you always hunched over a laptop. You can only learn so much sitting on the sidelines.

    Its good a little of that Spring fever hit you and made you want stop and smell the roses. They actually smell good this year!!

    Relax, refresh and come back bigger and blogger. We can deal, its not like we paying for it!!

  • brokenkey

    Were you upset/shocked when there was no Wet Wednesdays last week?
    I HAVENT BEEN HER FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS, SORRY.

    Was your first thought that something had happened to me or was it not that big of a deal to you?
    DIDNT NOTICE :(

    How often do you get “me time” for yourself?
    I HAVE 3 HOURS OF SCHEDULED INTERRUPTED (NOT UNINTERRUPTED) ME TIME.

    Are you excited at the idea of me looking to take more “me time?”
    IF YOU TELL US OR PUT US ON A SCHEDULE OF BLOGGING OPERATIONS. ESP, IF IT WILL MAKE THE WRITING STRONGER.

    Are you secretly mad at the idea?
    YES, I HATE IT WHEN BLOGGERS DISAPPEAR WITHOUT NOTICE.

    Do you feel as if I put too much pressure on myself?
    MOST BLOGGERS DO.

    Would you be willing to submit guest posts for the site or open to the idea of joining Team NWSO?
    SURE, WITH GUIDANCE.

    What are your thoughts on stream of consciousness posts like this?
    NOT SURE EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT I LOVE MORE PERSONAL POST. GETS TO SEE THE REAL PERSON.

  • Potato w/ Jive

    Dude! Been there. SHUT THE MATRIX DOWN. Ive had this convo with at least 20 people in the last two months. Beleive it or not, im the last of anyone i know to “finally” get on facebook recently.

    Part of the resistance was exactly what you described. This feeling of obligation to the internet world is in fact a self imposed one. Its good, dare i say a necessity to “unplug” sometimes. Simply put, blogging should be fun and when it isn’t, then you are good to reevaluate the place it has in your life. For sanity’s sake, UNPLUG.

  • DC Man With a Plan

    Good catch, Rough thought. But for real, NWSO, Sockheads enjoy your site. U do a fantastic job and have real talent and provide genuine and exceptional insight. U provide an excellent forum for dialogue and better understanding/communication among the sexes – to the degree we want to be reasonable…lol…Your efforts are respected and bcuz of that, yeah, most of us are spoiled but we’ll get over it bcuz THAT’S reality. Nobody can keep going without a break and perform 100% at the top of their game. Not even you. But you’re one of the best and you got the Blog award as evidence of that as well as ppl like ME, waiting and waiting for the NWSO T-shirt and paraphernalia. I’ma support your efforts bcuz you are a 4-REAL man and an exceptional brotha. Enjoy some peace and restore your sanity……maybe even get a hit of somethin……..:)

  • da ThRONe(from L.A.)

    I cant say anything I have been slacking lately. Being on the West Coast has put me behind in my NWSO blogging.

    Do what you have to to refuel.

    You know I’m never afraid to guest blog.

  • God’s Gift – Soon to be Mrs. da ThRONe

    Take some time off! You deserve it.

    On a side note, I would be interested in a guest blog from Elle. She ALWAYS has something very insightful to relay.

    One Love.

  • QuoteMan

    I agree I think a guest blog from Elle is long over due. Lol

  • http://beautyvirtuosoul.com AA

    Hey Mr. I don’t usually comment, but I do lurk around some. It’s crazy because I just started my blog and I really had to sit down and think of s chedule to keep it more “consistent”. Then I thought, how does Ans do it, especially being that your posts are hella long (which I like don’t get me wrong) and never short or lacking in quality. So now I know that you aren’t super blogger, you are a human and I respect this post and you a good deal more. Thanks for opening up. It may have helped you as you were writing this, but I’m sure other people will appreciate you and your honesty even more. I’ll still come around if you take a day or two off.

  • older & wiser

    So what are you going to do Ans?

  • Love.Addict

    I say if this blog ain’t paying no bills but it’s adding to the stress then break from it. I personally wasn’t upset about no wet Wednesday. I don’t read them. I try to keep my mind pure so I can stay out of some things. I think you have a wonderful blog. And I love reading you stuff. I’m a new sockhead via my lovely sister. Lol. But take the breaks. It would be a shame to see a great mind wasted because he was too busy people pleasing instead of refreshing and relaxing to let new ideas flow in. You have to be selfish sometimes. And when it comes to happiness that’s the number one time. On another note I would def love to guest blog. Sounds like a great oppourtunity.

  • http://www.twitter.com/carmool carmool

    I’d be down to join the N W S O team seems a positive environment to work in (especially since I don’t believe in adding pressure to myself **wink Anslem**)

  • That Guy

    everyone needs personal time… protect yourself (time especially) because no one else will.. my mentor taught me that.. when people get used to you always delivering, they will only pressure you more.

    always take care of the money 1st, passion doesnt fund itself..

    also, just an tip, not that you need one… but you can always do a few extras blogs when your in the mood or in the zone and stash them for days you dont feel like writing, or even re-visit old topics… i know your friend/co-blog buddy Belle does alot of that, or just take the time to yourself. All of us here are educated enough to check back later.

  • Lonias

    GOOD FOR YOU!!!
    We can only get a piece of YOU if YOU are still in one piece…

  • asj

    Hey ans, i love love love NWSO. so i for one would be secretly mad. but i know how you feel. so take some me time. maybe that will help you come back with even bigger and better blogs. and since you will be writing less, we will have more to look forward to when you do. best wishes and god bless : ) keep doin your thing!

  • asj

    ps: sorry i havent commented in a while but i have been reading most of your blogs over the past few months. i would love to see guest bloggers. if i could i would do it but im a busy college student and believe me nursing is a major that burns you out on the daily. i write well IMHO but not on your level. it would be very interesting so do that. and why dont you go to somewhere like hawaii for your vacation? : )

  • MEEEMEEE

    was I mad. No. Why would i be mad? You have a full time job dude. Its all good.

    People need to remember that this is a CHOICE that you made, NOT an obligation. I think you feel like its an obligation when it is not…

    Wet Wednesdays is cool and all, but my day didnt stop because you didnt post, lol. It was still bright and sunny outside. No hurricane, no tsunami…so youre cool. lol

    please take as much time as you need away. Post every other day, or every other other day lol. Its ok, really.

    You do put too much pressure on yourself. I think it comes from the all the times your were disappointed in your life, and you promised to never make anyone feel that way. Its ok, I do the same.

    but really tho. you have a trillion post on this thang. People can go and read some old post! Shiet!

  • Jessica J

    I still love ya ANS. Get your mind right and we’ll be here when you get back. May God give you peace, success, and sleep.

  • R.e.D

    NWSO, you can get days off, weeks off, a month off or whatever you need-but just come back, lol! Last week when you wrote the post, “I dunno” I definitely called you out on that one and said u had to be in a rut when u wrote it. I don’t know you personally, but something was just off. I basically co-sign everything that has been said, so I am just writing this as an exercise of support. Since you say that you are a creature of habit, set a schedule and just write based on that-be it twice a week or thrice a week. You will still be supported. In terms of helping out…honestly, I can comment all day, everyday, but I bloody sure can’t write like you do! However, I am great at editing. I pick up all your typos (there aren’t many, but some still slip through the cracks-lol).

    In terms of the Match-maker event: Is this another ‘what I have to do to get a man’ type of program?

    Anyway, let us know what you decide to do.

  • karmagini

    I could never be mad for someone taking a break to regroup & recharge. In fact, I respect someone more if they recognize this & do so. Self-preservation is key and a lot of us make excuses for not doing it.

    I’d do a guest blog… hopefully with some direction on a topic, since I have so many thoughts going on in my head.

  • ExpertOpinion

    “Simplicity and repose are the qualities that measure the true value of any work of art.” EO

  • Coko4Eva

    okay okay so maybe im a little spoiled but id be lying if i said i didnt miss last week’s WW. but its not a big deal. And I could totally tell you were in a slump with all those “how will i be remembered” blogs. But I really like how you let us know that ur in a slump and jus need a lil R&R. its all good Ans, we’ll b here.

  • Sam

    I did wonder what happened to last week wet wed post, but i figured you just took a different route. i suggest you get all the needed rest & relaxaton necessary. i’m only 23 and work 11 hour days 7 days a wk mostly, and lawd of it’s mercy am i exhausted every single week.

    YESSSS!! Take a vacation considering your an island baby you’ve probably traveled to all the islands already. My last day off? Hmm, from which job? lol This past wk i worked all 7 days. Team NWSO is a great idea, but my writing skills suck. :) I’m exicited about your “me time” by all means take as long as you want! I agree with what everyone else has said & we’ll be here for you!

    i want to attend this event in june but i needed to know a wk ago to take off. :( :(

  • Othaniel Cruickshank

    NWSO – I’m fairly new to your blog (6-8 months) and reading NWSO, Abelleinbrooklyn, blacknbougie, blackademics, etc sometimes are the onky things getting me through my morning/ afternoon, sad but true. I can’t begrudge you for wanting a personal/mental health day. I think you had the right idea informing us ( readers) that you were going to write a book and needed guest blogger submissions or more free time. How can you be good for us if you aren’t good for you? I admire alot of you bloggers because the perception is that you’re having fun, starting interesting conversations, and sometimes making your readers better versions of themselves thru self awareness. Live your life and to Thy own self be true.

    Forever a loyal reader ;)

  • Gemini

    When I noticied WW was missing I restarted my computer thinking I was stuck.

    I noticied your distance months ago when you started recruiting guest bloggers.

    Take your well earned time off. Tip – Toe through the Tulips if you have to.

    I would like to read what’s on Rastamans mind.

  • http://Blog-AroundHarlem.com AroundHarlem

    Avid reader. Impressed with your drive and the quality of your work.

    Since writing is your business, have you ever thought about charging your readers to read the site?

    If people can pay for magazines that they read regularly and purchase books, they should be paying you to read your work.

    It would be interesting to see what would happen if you made the site membership only and charged people to read your blogs.

    What do you think?

  • Caila K

    Wow-forfeiting after-work events, dinners, meetings and the like is no easy feat. I commend you. That break was well-needed and deserved. But no-we cannot live without NWSO. Looking forward to this event – just got my tix! (Txs for discount).

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    Hey luv, I am just happy you are here. If you only posted once a week or once a month, I’s return to read your crazy nonsense and crawl into bed with you wet Wednesdays. In the words of Tupac, “You are appreciated…”

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • rwifey

    hahahhahahahah
    all good, i forgive you, i mean, i’m just reading this post right now, clearly my desire to comment and read as soon as possible has waned a bit

    in fact, i prefer blogs which are more spontaneous and not so, around midnight, here we go, or maybe another one at 1 pm

    i applaud spontaneity.

  • bogart4017

    rest easy–no need to apologize. Nobodys going anywhere. You gotta live dude.