Do You Know What Second Base Is? (Touchy Feely Freaks)

0 Posted by - May 14, 2010 - Guest Socks, Relationships, Love & Marriage, Video

Sexy couple couch

I have a confession to make. Despite my ability to craft a vivid Wet Wednesdays I’ve never been that clear on the idea of the “bases.” You know, the age-old way that people determine how far they got on a date.

Now don’t get me wrong; I know what first base (a kiss) and I definitely know what a homerun is (sex, duh!), but I’ve always been a little shaky on what exactly counted as second and third base. Maybe it’s the fact that my RBI average is comprised of mostly homeruns and strikeouts, that I haven’t spent much time on second or third to keep tabs on the specifics. Or, that I’m just too grown to be worried about some silly sports analogy.

Either way, the whole bases thing has always thrown me for a loop. If kissing is first base and a homerun is sex, I can assume that third is oral sex but if that’s the case then second base just sounds like a waste of time. LOL. But seriously, is second base like grabbing a boob or something? Or is it a little more R-rated like a finger pop? (Remember those?) But that’s too close to oral sex (or foreplay) to me so I just don’t get it.

The question was on my mind and I wanted some answers, so I asked my boy Paul Carrick Brunson the Modern Day Matchmaker to pull together another one of our mashups to poll people on the streets about this relationship conundrum.

Just like last time with the “Who Pays For the First Date” video poll, Paul came across a funny batch of people that were just as confused about second base as I am.

Here, see for yourself…

How do you define first, second and third base? Does it matter if clothes are on or off? How old were you when you let a guy/gal get to second base? Now that you’ve made some homeruns do the other bases seem like a waste of time? Are you just too old to be worrying about what base you’re on? What’s your lifetime batting average? Are you turned off by people that are touchy feely too early on? What does it take for you to feel comfortable enough for someone to go all the way with you? Do you like going below the belt a little bit? What did you think of this week’s video mashup?

Speak your piece…

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DON’T FORGET:

Paul Carrick Brunson’s Modern Day Matchmaker Live tour is hitting New York Thursday, June 3 and yours truly is on the panel, along with a host of other relationship bloggers and experts.

I don’t get to interact with my readers that often so I’d love to see you at Providence, which is located at 311 West 57th Street, NYC. Doors open at 8pm and the show, which will be taped, will run from 8:30 to 10:30. The after party, which will give folks the chance to mingle with the panel, will kickoff right after until 2am.

CLICK HERE to purchase tickets. The tickets are $25 for the panel discussion and $10 for the after party, but NWSO readers will get 20% off the price by entering “NWSO” as your discount code.

It should be fun and I can’t wait to see you there.

For more info, hit the official FaceBook invite or the flyer below.

  • daniATL

    How do you define first, second and third base?

    First base is kissing. Second base is boobs. Third is finger-popping/oral sex. And we all know a homerun. The rule of thumb I was told was waist up = 2nd base, waist down = 3rd.

    Does it matter if clothes are on or off?

    Doesn’t matter whether clothes are on or off.

    How old were you when you let a guy/gal get to second base?

    18

    Now that you’ve made some homeruns do the other bases seem like a waste of time? Are you just too old to be worrying about what base you’re on?

    No, now it all amounts to foreplay and too too many people overlook it.

    What’s your lifetime batting average?

    How do we judge this? People we wanted to sleep with, that we did or didn’t get a chance to?

    Are you turned off by people that are touchy feely too early on?

    Only if I’m not feeling you. Or do you mean sexually aggressive rather than affectionate? Sexually aggressive early is no bueno. Affectionate (hand-holding, kissing, etc.) is highly desirable.

    What does it take for you to feel comfortable enough for someone to go all the way with you?

    A commitment preferably.

    Do you like going below the belt a little bit?

    Ummm, since I am a new commenter I will plead the 5th here.

    What did you think of this week’s video mashup?

    Loved it.

  • lola289

    1st base: Kissing
    2nd: Touching and kissing (clothes on)
    3rd: Grinding clothes on and touching w/ no clothes
    4th: Intercourse and/or oral sex

    Gotta luv foreplay…it all depends on the partner sometimes it can be better or worse than sex!
    lol!
    Consult a professional first!

  • da ThRONe(back home)

    1st Kissing
    2nd Touching breast
    3rd Playing with the pussy
    4rd Having sex

  • Classic Ruby

    OK, 1st base is basic kissing…I think we’re all pretty clear on that at least. Any type of touching, above or below the belt, is second base. Third base is touching without clothes on, hand jobs, finger pops. Home run is intercourse. I think that many people have NO idea exactly where oral sex falls in the “official rules”, so I think that has a LOT to do with which level you put it at. It can be either third base OR a home run (if you put oral sex at second base you have a PROBLEM!)…for me, oral sex is a home run. I’m quicker to have sex with a boyfriend than I am to blow them (although I have NO qualms receiving a bit earlier lol)

    Sex without effective foreplay for me is the equivalent of eating food that has 0 flavour or spices added on…sure, its there, it does its basic task, but….do you ever think about it again, desire it, or even bother mentioning it ?(unless its to complain about how crappy/bland/boring it was) umm no. And I don’t just mean a lil oral (as I said, I place that at home run status…so I need foreplay BEFORE it in order for it to be truly enjoyed).

    I am HUGE on personal space, I don’t really like to be touched unnecessarily, so yes, anybody who decides to be touchy feely before I’ve taken my sweet time getting very comfortable and used to them will get on my nerves and I’d probably end up writing them off as clingy or desperate. I don’t cross second base without having some type of intimate connection with someone, and there is NO way I would go all the way with someone who was not in a committed relationship with me first. That being said, I’m not just allowing any ol’ boyfriend to get a home run… if you don’t get my blood hot and my panties all in a bunch AND make me feel super confident in your feelings for me and respect you have for me, ain’t gonna happen.

    I have been receiving oral since I was really young (I won’t say a number, I’ll freak y’all out), but I wouldn’t even put my hand on a man’s member until I was 16, and I stayed WELL afraid of penis until I was at least 18 or 19, and I never thought I would grow an appreciation for it. Now I have *devilish grin thinking of my boyfriend who’s due over at my place in 3 hours*. But again, for me I feel like my, and his, below the belt areas are “private” and as such don’t truly have any desire to get near it until I have that nice secure relationship…call me strange, but it works for me..different strokes for different folks..

    LOVED the video mashup!

  • Shannon

    First base is the elementary kissing and hugging. Second base is more about feeling each other up; third base is what is traditionally referred to as “heavy petting,” and of course home base is intercourse, whether vaginal, anal or oral.

    Sex is sex, regardless of the method; don’t believe the hype that oral sex isn’t real sex. Just because it doesn’t result in pregnancy or isn’t vaginal doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. It does, in a very big way.

    I am well aware of the extremely liberal attitudes toward sex these days, especially with black people. They tend to be far more liberal and less inhibited and more often than not will justify or defend their definition and need for sex. Well, to each his own, I guess; while I have encountered white men who are less inhibited, most of them by far know that sex is sex is sex and don’t differentiate.

    For myself, I don’t see the point or purpose of engaging in sex without further commitment. I think it distracts from the serious issues most people would rather avoid or turn a blind eye to, but unfortunately it usually leaves one–most likely, the woman–in a frustrating position. I firmly believe if dating couples were to refrain from sex for a month or two, they would see the relationship for what it really is.

    I am automatically turned off by men who are touchy-feely, men who expect the world from me but don’t reciprocate, men who don’t want to commit, men who only talk about sex or put pressure on me to give in, men who lie and tell me a lot of BS to make me give in…you get the idea. I do not allow a man to kiss me, let alone touch me; if he is not willing to get to know me or is only concerned with when he’s getting laid, he is not worth my time. It doesn’t bother me to be alone or to live sans sex. Contrary to popular belief, sex is not a necessity and one can live without it and be perfectly happy. It’s more important to me to be respected, loved and needed than it is to be desired and arousing; I consider myself to be more than just mere entertainment and value myself much more than the men around me care to. I determine my own value; it simply amazes me that a man finds a woman who will have sex with him and several other men before him to be of more value than a woman who has high self-esteem and a lot of self-respect to demand better for herself. It takes more than a big penis and bedroom skill to turn my head. I need more than that and most men are not.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @ClassicRuby

    If that’s your definition, I’d say oral sex was more on an inside of the park homerun. You didn’t hit it over the wall but you were able to round all the bases with a real good swing. lol

  • Miss Conception

    How do you define first, second and third base?

    Ok. From what I was told a long time ago is what lola289 said.
    First base: kissing
    Second base: touching with clothes on
    Third base: touching with clothes off
    Homerun: you preference of scoring

    Does it matter if clothes are on or off?
    Oh lawd… the fact I am sitting at the computer thinking about that question is a problem… lol

    How old were you when you let a guy/gal get to second base?
    I was young enough to not know where he was going, but old enough to have let it go that far ;-)
    Now that you’ve made some homeruns do the other bases seem like a waste of time?

    Well, according to some men, the kissing ordeal is a no go. I am sorry, but I have never been turned on by a guy diving for my neck or breast… you look like a vampire. So, no I don’t think the other bases are a waste of time. Unless the guy looked like Johnny Depp or Derek Luke, you must do more than have an erection or wanna suck my blood to get me hot and going.

    Are you just too old to be worrying about what base you’re on?

    Clearly if you are thinking what base you are on while trying to make magic in the bedroom or wherever the two of you are, then the guy/girl isn’t doing a good job.. lol

    What’s your lifetime batting average?

    Not enough… but, I don’t see myself getting close to Babe Ruth’s average or anything

    Are you turned off by people that are touchy feely too early on?

    If this has to do with emotional people, I guess that is kind of a turn off. Usually that means counseling or late nights listening to how sad or pissed off you are. If that means someone that doesn’t know the kindergarten rule: keep your hands to yourself, that is a definite yes. Unless I have my beer goggles on. lol

    What does it take for you to feel comfortable enough for someone to go all the way with you?

    I am going to agree with Shannon and say I have to know the person first before I let him dip his honey comb into my honey. I need to know that he can do more than instant gratification. He must know how to make the kitty kat purr, which takes a lot more than name introductions. Besides, I value myself to care who I wake up to next morning. No disrespect to those who could careless, but that is my moral in life.

    Do you like going below the belt a little bit?

    Ummm…. most of my experience I enjoyed it (except that one time when…). lol

    What did you think of this week’s video mashup?

    hilarious… he should have asked when does oral sex come into the game…

  • Organized Chaoz

    How do you define first, second and third base? 1st base is any form of kissing, 2nd base is anything above the waist, 3rd base is any type of touching/kissing below the waist, 4th base ie Homerun is intercourse
    Does it matter if clothes are on or off? Clothes on =’Making out’, Clothes off=foreplay, so, yes it matters!
    How old were you when you let a guy/gal get to second base? 17
    Now that you’ve made some homeruns do the other bases seem like a waste of time? Not at all….the ‘bases’ are what makes the ‘homerun’ so awesome :-)
    Are you just too old to be worrying about what base you’re on? No worrying, just being conscience of it, there’s a difference!
    What’s your lifetime batting average? Don’t really know how to do a batting average per se but, it’s pretty damn good :-) Way more homeruns than not!
    Are you turned off by people that are touchy feely too early on? Just depends, if I’m feelin’ your vibe, then touch away but just not like crotch grabbing lol you have to ease into all that. But if it is like hand holding or caressing my back or a gentle thigh rub, that’s alright.
    What does it take for you to feel comfortable enough for someone to go all the way with you? Nothing in particular, just need to be feelin’ you (him) it’s one of those ‘I just know when it’s right’ type of deals
    Do you like going below the belt a little bit? *blushing* uh, yeah of course I do!
    What did you think of this week’s video mashup? very entertaining so much so, I went to YouTube and looked up some of his other ones

  • Rastaman

    Must admit I had but a rudimentary understanding of this baseball analogy to relationship. Probably because I was never socialized in that way of thinking and my whole sexual development was probably atypical.

    i think from jump I was attempting to swing for the fences, even before I knew how far they were. Sometimes ignorance saves you from disappointment or frustration. Made watching all those teen angst dating movies somewhat alien like when I watched them as a young man. Never understood “blue balls” or all the related frustration symptoms.

    Probably scored before I knew what I was doing but only encouraged me to make all future endeavors homeruns or nothing. Most times than not it was homeruns but then I never dated in the real sense as a teenager.

    Premature early success on the bases has led me to develop a take it or leave it approach to sex when I am with a woman. Turns out the less I press the more i am offered. Who knew it?
    But then I have always focussed on the other aspects of a woman, personality, mind, humor rather than her body in my seduction/stimulation. I am a bit phobic when it comes to getting physical too early with a new person. Their hygeine may suck and then I may have to physically and pschologically de-louse. heww!!

    Funny thing about this baseball analogy of being intimate, in prostitution they sell homeruns and you probably have to pay extra for second or third base and from what I hear, kissing is prohibited. Says a lot about what’s valued and what’s not depending on who you are!!

  • bogart4017

    Playing “slap and tickle” or touchy-feely is about to lead to a homerun. So don’t bother taking your clothes off if you don’t mean business

  • brown drizzle

    Hmmm, it is rare for someone to stop once hitting 3rd base.

    Here is my take on what the bases equate to…
    1st – Kissing / talking
    2nd – Kissing into touching
    3rd – intense foreplay – sucking boobs, oral for a male (blow job / hand job)
    4th – the overall act (sexual intercourse)

  • Potato w/ Jive

    This funny. I too have been confused by what was second base but i think i co sign with most people in that:

    1st is Kissing
    2nd is groping of any kind (clothed or unclothed)
    3rd is bam, we have genitals! (and if you got to 3rd with clothes on, congrats, you have just stolen base, friend!)

    Also, where does Dry Humping fall into the scheme of things? Personally, as a guy I’ve always felt it was a tremendous waste of time, but ladies in my past seem to enjoy it and have tried to justify IT as being 2nd base. Thoughts?

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    @Potato w/ Jive

    Good question.

    I’ve known girls that have gotten off on Dry Humping, basically stealing a base while I got grounded out. SMH.

    I guess it depends on the outcome of the hump and what comes out as to what base it falls on. LOL. Figure most folks might classify that as part of making out.

    • Neemster101

      more like a sacrifice bunt than a gorund out :)

  • Deen

    My personal definition sorta eliminates the bases. As a grown ass man, it’s either a strikeout or a homerun for me at this point. Anything short of intercourse is a strikeout, even oral. I just figure that it’s either going to go down or not. All the distinctions are too arbitrary anyway.

    Now that I’m reading that back to myself, I feel like an ass. Kinda.

  • dspq49

    How do you define first, second and third base?
    I’m a prude I guess but for me:
    1st= kissing
    2nd= grabbing boobs
    3rd= fingering/dry humping/mutual masturbation
    homerun= intercourse/oral sex

    Does it matter if clothes are on or off?
    It actually doesn’t matter. I’m very comfortable naked so I could be naked at any point and the bases aren’t changed.

    Now that you’ve made some homeruns do the other bases seem like a waste of time? Are you just too old to be worrying about what base you’re on?
    All the bases are fun so no, they are not a waste of time. I’m not that worried about what bases I’m on now as long as I don’t get to home plate too fast.

    Are you turned off by people that are touchy feely too early on? What does it take for you to feel comfortable enough for someone to go all the way with you?
    Yes, if a guy is too touchy feely early on it’s a definite turn off because that means he has loose dick. LOL I like getting to know guys before becoming physical.

    Do you like going below the belt a little bit? What did you think of this week’s video mashup?
    I don’t love going down on a guy but I will if he does. Fortunately, I’m also good at performing oral sex. The video was hilarious because it showed how clueless everyone is about the bases.

  • MCarp

    This topic is so hilarious. If a dude says walking in his house is second base (LMAO!) then I don’t want to know about any other bases.

    And finger popping…how the term sounds, not the act, freaks me out.

  • lola289

    lol@Deen

    well at least ur honest!
    Trust me alot of ppl think the same way

  • Jessica J

    Arghh honestly. First base- kissing of all forms. Second base- Copping a feel, bood touching, booty grabbing. Third base- Underneath clothes, foreplay, fingering, penis touching, blah blah. Homerun- Sex.

    GAH why don’t people know this?

  • QuoteMan

    I’m late but hey here is my piece………

    First base is kissing – preferably the neck; passionate enough to leave a hickey, this way I’m guaranteed second base. (Clothes don’t need to come off)

    Now, second base is going for the boobs aka knockers; the goal here is to have the nipple come out “saluting”. This way, I can’t be denied third base. (Clothes don’t need to come off, the bra finger snap technique will do)

    Third base is reaching below the belt aka stealing base; forget figure popping, I’m talking clit stimulation. In a gentle, circular, consistent motion to have her eagerly reaching for the “bat”. Now, here comes the homerun. (Clothes come off)

    Homerun is knocking boots, shagging, banging, boning, or what have you.

    Now, if you hit it (pun intended) in the park – you head for the dugout; if you hit it (pun intended) out the park – you get an extra inning.

    In the next inning, forget second and third base – first base then straight for the homerun.

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    1st – Kiss
    2nd – Getting touchy Feely, and usually a shirt gets lost and a bra gets popped.
    3rd – you are doing everything but having sex, so you are going downtown
    Homerun – sex, whether its good or bad

    I went past 2nd base I believe in the 7th grade, with my first actually boyfriend. I run for the base I feel most comfortable on and don’t take chances going farther. Yeah it’s annoying when you meet a guy that likes to steals bases. I have ended dates on account of it. There are only so many boob brushes I will allow. Hey below the belt is fair game now. Gotta be opened minded. I thought the video was great I need to subscribe on youtube.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • Classic Ruby

    @NWSO
    See, I find it to be the opposite…straight intercourse is an inside the park home run – it’s what we as animals have been programmed to do in order to procreate and ensure the survival of the species…Now, if am man can get me to put my MOUTH on his dingaling…WOW!! He has to be some kinda wonderful since there (IMO at least) isn’t any animal NEED to fulfill on my part while giving him oral.

    He gets me to “bow down” to him, that’s more of a physical and emotional message and commitment, my submission to the US that is my relationship with him. (again, I know this is all on me. Many people would engage in oral sex LONG before intercourse. While I don’t engage in intercourse easily, oral sex is an even bigger BFD to me, and something that I do as an expression of my love, faith, and commitment to my partner and our sex life and future together)

    @Organized Chaoz
    “Does it matter if clothes are on or off? Clothes on =’Making out’, Clothes off=foreplay, so, yes it matters!” – perfectly worded, could never have come up with it myself, but you are SO right on that!

    @Potato w/ Jive
    I love dry humping, and I put it at second base. It seems so…animalistic and raw, like he doesn’t wanna disrespect me by going to far too fast, but yet he just can’t hold himself back…priceless! :-) Makes for a VERY exciting night!!

  • sunshyne84

    Um I don’t think you should still be using bases once you graduate high school. I never have, but I guess that’s more of a guy thing anyway so he can brag to his friends. *shrugs* I never knew anyone that used those. I’m pretty sure the bases of today are way different than way back when.

    Oral being on a base before the actual homerun sounds crazy to me, but hey that’s what the kids do I guess.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lisa-Thompson/1451838291 Lisa Thompson

      hear hear I’ve heard from time to time, that girls a willing to do anal &oral but not intercourse “yet” huh?oo it was the opposite in my day, intercourse and maybe oralwas on the table after a “respectable”while, but anal was unheard of in hetero circles – maybe because we’re so close to san francisco, and guys were afraid to be labeled gayI dunnoI’ll have to call an ex and ask