How’s it going, Sock Heads? Everyone’s doing alright I hope. It’s been a crazy week for your friendly neighborhood blogger but such is life—it ebbs and flows. If all goes well I should have a couple big announcements to make next week, or I might even drop some news in tomorrow’s post.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Today’s post is a continuation of the conversation I started last week with “Are You a Good Man/Woman (Real Men Have Real Talk),” which was based off Paul Carrick Brunson’s “Mind of a Single Man Series.” Since I, along with a host of other great NYC bloggers/writers/talking heads will be on Paul’s panel next week Thursday (Have you CLICKED HERE to buy your ticket yet?), I figured this latest episode would be a good precursor to the show.
Basically, it’s Paul having an open discussion about relationships with four single men, who offer up their honest opinions on the things we all talk about most—sex and relationships. The focus of this particular conversation was what men look for physically in the opposite sex.
Here, watch for yourself:
Now, I know not everyone may have had time to watch the above clip, but I hope you do at some point. Regardless, though, here are some key things that I took from the discussion.
1) Men like a “well-fit” woman.
No big surprise there, we’re visual creatures so physical attractiveness is key factor in our perception of the opposite sex. What the fellas added to the discussion to the mix was the fact that a woman who keeps her body physically fit not only looks “better” but is more likely to keep her mental and emotional self fit also.
I’ll pass on that hypothesis because there are way too many women who only have a body to offer and wind up with no kind of mental stimulation. It’s the counterbalance to the “dumb jock” for guys. Nice to look at but outward appearances can get you but so far. Not saying a guy won’t sleep with a dumb hot girl, but he probably won’t stay with her.
2) Men like “hind pints” aka ass.
Again, no big surprise there, this is basically an extension of No. 1. So I’ll move on to the next one.
3) Men like confidence.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I’ve always said that confidence can take you a long way. Over the years I’ve come across plenty of women that really weren’t all of that in the looks department, but had an abundance of sex appeal regardless due to their confidence. On the flipside, I’ve seen beautiful women that lessened their appeal by being negative, downtrodden or just lacking in any kind of self-esteem. Trust me, ThatsABadLook.com. (Almost here).
This all led to a brief discussion about Jill Scott because…
4) Some Men like Jill Scott’s “swagger.”
One of the brothers in the mix emphatically declared his appreciation for Jill Scott. She’s beautiful—nuff said. Still, we’ll all recognize that she doesn’t fit the atypical measure of beauty. She gets a pass though because of her bubbly personality and “swagger.” That all goes back to No. 3 above in that a woman can raise her stock by being confident and well put together. So in short a woman that lacks No. 1 (not well-fit) and No. 2. (has no hind pints) can overcompensate for that with an overflow of confidence.
5) Men like a certain “type.”
On the other hand, though, you’re always going to have the brother (or sister) that can’t overlook the physical. One of the gentlemen in the discussion was equally adamant about not being physically attracted to a woman like Jill Scott, despite her “swagger” and confidence. While he admits that he could dig her immensely, when it comes to a romantic level he has his own prerogative and a woman of Jill Scott’s build is not his type. Love that opinion or hate it, everyone has a right to like what and whom he or she wants.
When it was all said and done, though, I think the conversation between these men boiled down to two very important points: Men always look at the visual first, but it’s not always the most important thing and picking a mate is about negotiable things vs. non-negotiable things. Basically, we all have our ideal preferences and turn-ons, but eventually you realize what’s really important and what’s not.
See, y’all next Thursday, I’m sure the panel discussion will be even better than this one. ?
What did you think of the video discussion? Do you feel that most men are driven by the physical? Should having a preference be held against someone? Do you agree that confidence can heighten someone’s attractiveness? Have you seen the reverse where an attractive person made himself or herself unattractive by not having self-esteem? Could you date someone that wasn’t physically attractive but mentally stimulated you? Why haven’t you bought your ticket for the panel yet?
Speak your piece…
There’s now a lower priced ticket available in the balcony section for Paul Carrick Brunson’s Modern Day Matchmaker Live tour that are “Standing Room Only (Show & After-Party)” for just $20. CLICK HERE to purchase the appropriate ticket(s) you want and be sure to enter the “NWSO” discount code to get 20% off the listed price.
It’s all going down next Thursday, June 3 at Providence—located at 311 West 57th Street, NYC. Doors open at 8pm and the show, which will be taped, will run from 8:30 to 10:30. The after party, which will give folks the chance to mingle with the panel, will kickoff directly after and go until 2am.
For more info, hit the official FaceBook invite.