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Can You Find Love Online? (Well, Da ThRONe Did)

Posted by • June 3, 2010 • Printer-friendly

WORDS BY DA THRONE

Hello, Sock Heads!

As some of you may be aware of fellow commenter God's Gift (formerly known as Shay from L.A.) and I are engaged. Yes, for marriage—to each other. LOL

While we may not have known each other for years and years, or even dated for a year or so; over the course of this past year she quickly became my dearest friend. Because of said friendship, I was able to learn so much about her and much quicker than if our original intent was to “date.”

I'm sure I’ve learned things about her most future husbands would never want to know about his future wife, but for better or for worse, it's this friendship that gives me supreme confidence that despite the fact that we may not have had a lot of dating time she is without a doubt the one for me.

If you know me you know when it comes to my personal feeling I am very secretive. So much so that some of you guys [and gals] online knew about this news, which is just now getting to my friends and family.

There’s one friend in particular, my best friend, that’s not taking the news all that well. I should mention that not only will I be getting married soon, but I’ll also be relocating to L.A. He, in so many words, expressed his concern (borderline disgust) with my decision, which must seem rushed to him. What he doesn’t understand (which is clearly my fault) is the amount of time I’ve spent corresponding with Shay over this year is probably equal to us dating for a handful of years.

While I can understand my best friend’s stance based on the info I’ve given him, I personally have no doubt Shay and I will die together in marital bliss. But our conversation got me to thinking: When do you know when the other person is the one?

I for one don't believe in drawn out dating, which leads to a drawn out engagement. Maybe I'm too "black and white" and I over-simplify things, but in my opinion, if I'm dating you it's for the purpose of marrying you. When I feel you don’t have what it takes to move to the next level, I just end the relationship. Likewise, when I feel like you have the tools to be my wife, I will marry you if you’re feeling the same—which was the case with Shay.

Shay once asked me why I wanted to marry her and my answer was short and sweet. I simply told her; “Because you are my best friend with a vagina.” We both got a good laugh out of it, but, honestly, I think that was the best description I could ever give her.

Are you amazed that two people from different parts of the country could meet each other through this blog and fall in love? Does Da ThRONe’s best friend have a reason to be upset with him? Do you agree that getting to know someone as a friend first makes for a better romantic connection? Would you prefer a long engagement or short one? Can you appreciate the simplicity of Da ThRONe’s description of a “best friend with a vagina?” Did you think it was possible to find love on NWSO?

Speak your piece…

TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT

Well, tonight is Paul Carrick Brunson’s Modern Day Matchmaker Live event. [CLICK HERE for details]. I’m real excited to meet those of you coming out, but for those that can’t make it tonight I have a treat for you. I’ll be streaming live footage from the event here on NWSO thanks to Sister Toldja and Slim Jackson, who'll be live vlogging from the event.

So check back tonight around 8:15 p.m. EST for a special double post with the live broadcast and a chat stream where you input questions for the panel. Should be a great night and I’ll see you there or you’ll see me here. ?

P.S.

Taco Meat is not invited. LOL.But VH1's Tionna Smalls and Kevin Powell, as well as a few other celebs, should be.


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  • Jessica J

    AIN'T NO THANG BUT A CHICKEN WANG! If it's love, it's love and that's it. God ordains it, let no man break what God puts together. I wish you all snotty nosed crumb snatching children, saggy nuts and floppy tities, all the way to sitting on the front porch rocking away being all of 500 years old. May God bless this union!

  • Malia

    I am so glad you posted this! I have been dying to know the story, but felt it would be too intrusive to ask. The great thing about NATURALLY meeting online is you get to understand the person, their intellect, their line of thinking, before it becomes about attraction or dating. Congrats to both of you!

    I have made a fair number of friends/business associates through online methods, it's just another way of making this huge world smaller.

    --Does Da ThRONe’s best friend has a reason to be upset with him?--

    I think some people don't understand the concept of meeting people online. People immediately think of seedy things like black planet or myspace (no offense), predatory dating or sexual hunting. They think of desperate people seeking companionship among losers (justsaying). They don't think if the more natural way of just coming across like minded people through social networking, blogs, message boards, etc..

    So, who cares what he thinks?

    --Do you agree that getting know someone as a friend first makes for a better romantic connection?--

    Absolutely, first there's no pressure for it to "be" something. Secondly, you get a truer sense of who they are than you would with starting off with romantic intentions. Some people have told me I need to date more, I responded with no, I just need to make more male friends.

    ---Would you prefer a long engagement or short one?---
    It depends on WHY it's long. If it's for logistics or pre marital counseling, that's fine. But Evelyn Lozada's extended "engagement" (Basketball Wives) not cool.

    Again, congrats to the happy couple.

  • Starita34

    Wow. Amazing. I am indeed amazed. Congratulations to the both of you. Long distance relationships are incredibly challenging in my opinion; but I understand 100% the feeling that you know someone very well through open, honest communication often reserved for those that you aren't "dating" (because often when dating you're playing games and sending your representative as opposed to your raw, true self). But I do feel that being in an actual face to face relationship is necessary before making a HUGE commitment such as marriage. When simply talking with someone that you don't have actual interactions with what they TELL you about themselves may be what they believe themselves to be, not necessarily how YOU will perceive them...there is something to be said for personal interaction.

    DaThRONe’s best friend should absolutely tell him his concerns, however it should be done respectfully and once DaThRONe has addressed his concerns, he needs to let DaThRONe make his own decisions and simply be supportive.

    Friends first is obviously the best way, but pretty unrealistic in most cases.

    Short engagement, I'm ready to get. it. on. lol jk...but the shorter the engagement, the less chance of the wedding day spiraling out of control. I just want a simple day and if I want to marry you, the sooner the better.

    “Best friend with a vagina?” not exactly poetry, but I understand the sentiment. If Shay likes it, I love it. Bueno suerte a los dos.

  • paulette_bajan_gal

    Corresponding online is not equal to dating...marriage is something you do when you've lived together and can handle the management of a relationship within the confines of all the ish that comes with that.

    I agree with your best friend...but i think if you really care about her you should move to LA and live together for at least a year and then talk about marriage.Be engaged and plan the future but be realistic.The couples I know personally making it work took their time before they tied the knot...the ones that rushed it are no longer together.And with the addition of a child I would hesitate to be in such a rush.Cause if it doesn't work out he will be hurt too.

    Living in different states makes it difficult to get to know people in a real world setting.You won't truly know what's the real deal until you've been in each other's face day in and day out.It changes things.Sometimes for the better...sometimes for the worst....you won't know until you do it.

    Take your time with it...you have nothing to lose by getting to know each other better when you're both in the same state.Having been married myself and being privy to lots of relationships...it is not a piece of cake.

  • Shannon

    It all depends on what you're looking for or if you're even looking. Da Throne and Shay, I wish you all the best. I had what I believe was the best marriage to the most wonderful man; now that he is gone, I find myself wondering if remarriage is for me or if I should remain single.

    I know I've said I want to meet someone, but I'm fooling myself if I think I'm ready to move on and meet someone else. Even as I write this, every man I encounter I, consciously or unconsciously, compare him to my husband and while I know this isn't fair, I know what I want. When you're used to being treated well, you can't settle for bullshit.

    Online dating...works for some, not for all. Same thing with long-distance relationships; eventually someone is going to have to move to the other's city, but how do you decide who should move? I've met some wonderful men and a long distance relationship was ideal for me; keep in mind that I still had to deal with the whole sex issue, even online and over the phone, and when it boiled down to it, I was unwilling to leave Ohio and he was unwilling to move here (mainly because of the winters here) and so the relationship dissolved. I'm dating a man who may be relocating because of a job and I am not willing to leave the city because this is where I want to be. Columbus isn't a city like New York or L.A., but I'm happy here and want to stay, so I have to meet someone who wants to stay here, too.

    Now, I probably wouldn't marry someone I haven't dated for at least a year or two; it takes about that long to get to know someone and when it comes to the one you're going to spend eternity with, it's a decision not to be made lightly. You all got to know each other in a way that worked for you and it paid off.

    I've dated friends before and while it never worked out for me, it can work out for someone else. My friends-turned-boyfriends thought they could change me and simply gave up and walked away when they realized they couldn't; I never tried to change them so I never understood why they felt they had to change me. I wasn't nosy, never went through their phones, voicemail, text or email, I wasn't jealous and never confronted any woman trying to flirt with them and I never questioned them about anything, which most took to mean I didn't care. You don't have to be jealous and nosy to show you care and I believe a grown man who is spoken for should take initiative to tell women he is not available.

    I say hey, whatever works for you. I will not date any man more than six months without knowing where things are going and if he can't give me a satisfactory answer, then I know how to leave.

    My husband and I married after only ten months of dating. He was in a prior relationship for four years or so with a woman who wanted to marry him, but he wasn't ready for marriage at the time he was with her; when we met, he felt he was ready. He lived in another city, but his job transferred him to my city after four months of dating and married six months after that and I later lost him to cancer. I don't regret it and never will.

    Wish you all the best and more. If you can find a tenth of the happiness I had in my marriage, you are destined for greater things.

  • msrahrah

    Congrats! I think it can work, I've met a number of people who have made it happen.

    I agree with Da Throne's comments about getting to know them in a shorter time -- you get to know the mind a lot better when the physical is limited!

  • Elle

    Being that I consider Tron and Shay friends by now I am totally excited and extremely happy for the both of you. I remember the first time Tron and I chatted outside of NWSO he said something about Shay which gave away that he was into her ... Haha yeah buddy, it was obvious!

    Anyways.

    I do believe you can find love or the one on a blog/forum/internet. Been there, done that. I have not only found love (my ex-fiance) but also great friendships online simply because you get to know a person's mind, their story, beliefs, values, their sense of humor, the way they reason and such because you actually take the time out to TALK instead of bumpin' bellies or keeping busy by going to clubs, movies and what not.
    Only when you are sure you have a lot in common a meeting makes sense which in turn is almost a guarantee for a good time.

    I am sorry that your best friend is giving such negative feedback. Why are folks always getting into other people's business? As your best friend he is of course entitled to his opinion and has the right to express his concerns DIPLOMATICALLY. But as your best friend he should support you unconditionally, whether he understands your actions or not.
    My ex-fiance's family was having issues with our engagement as well and were not hesitant to express their disapproval at every chance they got. Funny how some can have an opinion about a person they do not know. Very sad and rather ugly. But some people will only support others when they agree with their choices. Personally, I do not have to agree to be supportive but that's just me.

    It's yours and Shay's life. Do what your hearts desire and what makes you two happy. Your friend wouldn't let you decide about how he should live his either. He'll get used to it.

  • MultipleHeart

    Congratulations. I wish both of you the best of luck and happiness.

    Now on to the questions...

    Are you amazed that two people from different parts of the country could meet each other through this blog and fall in love?- No, I think one point of the blog is to connect people. In commenting we (as readers) get to see a small glimpse of how a person thinks. To me it is only natural that some interest would be sparked.

    Does Da ThRONe’s best friend has a reason to be upset with him?- Upset? No, concerned and worried of course. To the friend because he doesn't know the whole story he might feel that Da Throne is rushing things. I hope as a friend he is at least supportive to you Da Throne, whether he agrees or not.

    Do you agree that getting know someone as a friend first makes for a better romantic connection?- When I was in my 20's I dated to date. Now that I am in my 30's I am dating to find a partner. I won't date anyone that I can't be friends with. I want my partner to be my best friend first and my lover second. Friendship is that solid steady foundation that I need to have my love built on.

    Would you prefer a long engagement or short one?- A year tops, anything after that is too long for an engagement unless there are financial issues that might be preventing us from marrying. As for dating, 6 months is the time I give to figure out if the relationship has a future or not. together,

    Can you appreciate the simplicity of Da ThRONe’s description of a “best friend with a vagina?”- Honestly, it was sweet. Think about it...its the best of both worlds in a sense.

    Did you think it was possible to find love on NWSO?- Love is every where people just need to be open to see the potential, see that crack in the doorway and ease it open.

  • Elle

    PS: Short engagement. No engagement for me really. I don't see the point of being engaged. I don't need to test the person or relationship because when I say "yes" I am sure I want to spend the rest of my life with that person. No trial period necessary as the trial period starts on day 1 of the courtship/dating phase. Like Tron, I date with a purpose, not all nilly willy.

    Engagements are oftentimes seen as trial periods. But shouldn't you be sure BEFORE you get on that knee to propose and BEFORE you accept said proposal?

    So no. I don't ever want to be engaged for more than a week again. I'm either a man's girlfriend or his wife. Never again will I be someone's fiancee. If a man asks for my hand in marriage, he better be willing and ready to go to the courthouse that same week. I figured no guy on earth would be crazy enough to do that but apparently there is one who is totally down for that :)

  • The Duchess

    Good Morning All :)

    CONGRATS to you two!!! I am TOTALLY excited for you! As for your best friend, he should be all for it and stand by you. I don't understand when family or friends are overprotective of grown ppl. The only way to live life & learn lessons is by experiencing life & all it has to offer.

    I got in engaged to my bf last friday & we met on a blog exactly a year ago. My mom is not too happy with it but guess what?? WHO CARES!! It is my life & I must live it following the path GOD has chosen for me :)

    Again, Congrats & I wish you two the VERY BEST!!!

  • Queen S

    cogratulations! love finds u where u least expect it to..

  • dbaby11

    congrats!!! i agree with the commenter that stated you get to know the mind better when the physical is limited.
    i wish you both the best. its always inspiring when i hear stories of someone that found love unexpectedly!!

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    Well congrats to the soon to be Mrs. NWSO. There is nothing wrong with meeting someone online and growing a relationship with them. It wasn't like you chatted up for a week, met and got your freak on and decided to get married. This relationship blossomed and took time to become more. Maybe your friend is a bit jealous of the fact that you met someone and didn't have to go through all the crazy channels you have when you meet a person that you can actually see daily. I tell folks not to knock as I have a lot of friends who are married to people they met online, not to mention their marriages are stronger than those of the people that "dated". I met a few guys, one guy I actually loved, things didn't work out, but I am so happy I went online and chatted him up. Congrats again, look forward to hearing the wedding plans in only the way that you would describe them.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  • Capricorn

    Congrats!!! The BFF has a right to say something, but as long as DaThrone is happy, then he should support it.

    More importantly, when is the wedding and where is my invite?!! lol!!

  • Naturally_Pretti

    WOW...Its like a movie but only in real life! I think its sweet and beautiful. Congrats!!!

  • bogart4017

    Congrats! How and where you meet, how long you know each other and all those different factors depend upon the individuals involves. You two are adults and if you feel you can handle it and you have the stick-to-it-ivness that you need then go for it. As far as your best friend they are there to tell you how they honestly feel. It doesnt stop you from doing what you want to do.
    That said i wish you all the best and welcome to the wonderful world of marriage-a 24 hour job where they benefits far outweigh the wages.

  • lawchick12

    I do believe that love is possible to be found anywhere, even online. Apparently on a blog like this one. I think DaThrone's best friend has a right to have concerns, but shouldn't be upset. Congrat's to y'all.

  • Ashley

    WOW! I have missed so much by not being on here everyday like i was...Good luck you guys and i hope you can make it work. The BFF does have a right to say something, it just shows he cares, but he should support your decision, it is YOUR life!

  • http://www.NWSO.net NWSO

    Wait, how'd I end up engaged to be married?!?!?! I don't think Tron or Shay will be too happy about that. I made the hook up, I didn't know I was part of the deal. LOL

    No bueno

    SMH @ Tiff

  • Chanel

    WOW!!! That's a stunner, but a great one. All I can say is congratulations and best of luck!

  • ATLs.Marc.of.Excellence

    Congrats to the two of you. Wishing u both a blessed and happy marriage and whatever obstacles God brings you to, I hope that he brings you through. Funny thing about this internet. I recently found this girl from my childhood (from when we were like 3 -11 years old). We reconnected via Facebook and started talking over the phone almost immediately. The connection was practically instantaneous. So much in fact that we both were at a loss for "where the hell you been all my life?" We're still weeding our way through the lust and infatuation that lurks around when you first start dating somebody, but we both recognize there is something there that neither of us has experienced before, and seeing as how we both like what we're feeling and thinking about each other, we're both just gonna take our time and see where this goes. Again, best wishes to the happy new couple-to-be.

  • Amber

    Congratulations and best of luck!

    Your friend is allowed to be concerned, thats a friends job, but what your friend doesn't understand is the relationship that only you two are in.

    Finding someone you love can be really hard and I am happy that NWSO brought you guys together.

  • da ThRONe

    1st I would like to thank everybody for the well wishes.

    2nd My best friend and I have talked and he's cool with it. I think he was more offended that he knew so little about her before I told him we we're getting marrried. He felt slightly betrayed. I explained to him that Shay and I were friends for the majority of what would be the time we spend that allowed me to fall in love with her. Thus there was really nothing to tell.

  • da ThRONe

    We not getting married tomorrow Paulette. So if something was to go crazy wrong while living together we could always call it off. But I'm not marrying her because she's prefect. I'm marrying her because she has everything I need from my spouse and a little a little something extra. I am commit for life and I belief she is as well. It's that commitment that wont allow lil silly things to cause problems. I know her mental issues and flaws. And I love her because of them not inspite of them.

  • litabia

    I think differently. My really good friend met her husband playing dominoes on-line. He lived in Canada and she moved up there with him and they got married. They are still together and everything happened quite rapidly. If the person is the right one it doesn't matter if you wait a long time or know what you want and make it happen now.

    Your friend is probably upset that you are leaving. Our friends can be a bit over-bearing and protective perhaps that is why that is your friend. At the end of the day it is your decision to make because you are the one that has to marry her, raise kids with her, buy a house with her, grow old with her and all.

    I feel that friendship is particularly key for a relationship to work. Congrats to you guys! ? ?

  • Miss Royal

    This is lovely! Congrats to the both of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Rhythmiclioness

    Well first, CONGRATS and I wish you all the best

    Second, I'm ALL for LOVE regardless of the source, online, in a bar, at the supermarket, etc, especially BLACK LOVE. I love to hear about it because it let's me know that in a world where so many have broken ties because of trust issues, money issues, commitment issues, keeping it in their pants issues, sleeping with the best friend or family member issues, etc, that LOVE is still alive and kicking and that people can have lasting and loving relationships.

    We can all give our "two cents" and say that this should happen first or you should wait thing long to do this, etc, but I've known people to be the exceptions to what is ideal for most people regarding relationships on many occasions. I once stood as a bridesmaid for a girlfriend who was with her partner for 4 years and in less than a year's time they divorced. I have a coworker with his wife for 5 years and they met on Match.com. So I feel that you have to do what works from you and do what you both feel is the right thing to do. Sometimes we make great decisions and sometimes we don't but that is also what makes life such an interesting journey sometimes.

    Getting to know someone as a friend first can make for a better connection or it can just make them a better friend. I have some great male friends that I have never dated or don't intend to, but that's not a diss to them because my life is so enriched by having that friendship that I look at it as being a blessing. Whatever that person may or may not become, friendship is usually a good starting point.

    I definitely look at relationships at this point of my life that if I am dating, it is with the intent that marriage is forseeable in our future, however that's not a process I am trying to rush. I don't want to just get down the aisle, I want be happily married to the person God designed for me and maintain that strong commitment until I no longer have breathe in this body. I can only hope that one day it will happen and even if I meet that person in a less traditional fashion, I am definitely open to it.

    That's my Peace, Blessings to All.

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    Friends first…

    It’s amazing how a basketball bet, turned into a friendship, ends in marriage. ? I will admit that when I first encountered “da ThRONe” I really didn’t get him and I thought he was rather impetuous. Many of his comments ruffled my feathers and I COULD. NOT. STAND. HIM. However, once we took things off-line, and I understood his train of thought, we became very close friends. Over this past year, we have spent countless hours (on average 12 hours a day) corresponding. There were no intentions of getting involved romantically due to the distance, so I would talk to him about EVERYTHING. Because we didn’t have the pretense of trying to impress each other, we met the real and not the representative.

    Engagement…

    “You’re my best friend with a vagina.” Yes, I was floored. I was asked why I loved him and wanted to marry him, so I provided a list of reasons that were almost poetic. When I reciprocated the question, that’s the answer I received. Being the emotional woman that I am, initially I was hurt. But after I set my feelings aside, I remembered who I was asking the question to, lol. Now I laugh at it, but I wasn’t too happy at first. The engagement was the same…”I have a list of qualities that I look for in a wife and you far exceed those qualities; you wanna get married?”

    Tron is the most honest, sincere person that I know. He speaks his mind, doesn’t bite his tongue, and that’s what I love about him. He is a great listener and his love language matches mines; I have no doubt that he is my life partner.

  • AGK

    Aawwwwww ^^^
    Congrats guys! That's adorable. Good luck with everything <3

  • http://goddessesrising.blogspot.com goddessjaz

    This is so beautiful to me! Congrats to you both, my inner romantic is beaming for you two! I've seen you two interact here on NWSO, love is everywhere and unexpected. I'm an online love cynic, so I am encouraged :) I'm sorry your friend is having trouble with it. I'm sure he wants the best for you but he will have to get over his feelings if you are going to continue to have a friendship. I hope in time, he will support you and your decisions. I think it's hard for best friends...sometimes this situations bring up jealousy or other unresolved feelings. But you have to follow your heart at the end of the day and it sounds like it is leading you on the right track.
    Thanks for making my day!

  • bang boogie

    congrats to shay and da ThRONe.... i need a kleenex thats so awesome!

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    Babe, you forgot best friend with a vagina and big boobs :D

  • da ThRONe

    I lost the bet ,but gained an over bearing overly emotional wife! Lucky me. yay :|

  • http://www.flynesspublishing.com Flyness

    First off, congrats!

    As an online dating coach and author (check out my NWSO interview: http://nwso.net/2009/12/17/online-dating-tips-for-men-women/ ;) Online dating is the wave of the future and a healthy, substainable relationship can come out of it. I tell others all the time that you can actually learn MORE about someone you meet online, much quicker than you can in person. This is a prime example.

    However, there's a piece missing in the article. In fairness to your friend, I can understand his trepidation. I would be most concerned with how much time you've actually spent with your lady, in person. Getting acquainted on the net is cool, but how well do you truly know her mannerisms? How she talks? Facial gestures? Her scent? As they say, most communication is nonverbal.

    Case in point, there are couples who get along while living apart, but cannot stand each other as married roomates. That "in-person energy" can affect the relationship, for the better or for the worse. Are you two sexually compatible? These are valid questions. The article really didn't explain to what capacity you two have done any traditional kickin it. Perhaps you two have kicked it substantially?

    However, ultimately the decision of marriage rests in the hands of the two who choose to get married. Only you two know the situation, best. Although he is your best friend (without a vagina), you have to do what you feel is best for you. You seem like you have some sense.

    Peace and all the best, homie

    Flyness
    FlynessPublishing.com

  • da ThRONe

    Yeah 1st we are very very very very sexually compatible.(Ok maybe just two very's) I have been to L.A. twice since we have been a couple first time for a week and the second time for three weeks.

  • MikeD

    Congrats to the happy couple! And also congratulations to Mr. NWSO for making dreams come true through your artistic endeavors. You're doing good work. When are YOU gonna meet your wife on these baby blue comment pages?

  • karmagini

    Congrats! It is pretty cool that people can connect like this over the web. I have made several cyber-friends through sites/forums, so it's no surprise to me. I've connected with people who seem like soulmates; there's just something about that person you share a lot with and click right away. Perhaps you guys knew each other in a past life...

    My BF and I met online. I was genuinely just looking to add friends, meet new people, etc. and added him on Myspace. You asked how you know someone's the one... for me, it's a gut feeling. You just know this person is someone you could be with for life. That's how I felt with him, before we really got to know each other.

    I think a shorter engagement would be best... but I dunno. I also am not dating at this point in my life just for kicks (not that there's anything wrong with that), I'm doing it for the long-term and whatever develops from it. So if I'm engaged, it would be a trial of sorts because I don't plan on cohabitating unless we're going to marry. Of course, at that point, if I've accepted an engagement, I'm even more dedicated to making it work... but some things ya never know til you live with someone.

    "Best friend with a vagina," I can dig that. Is that something most women want to hear? Nah. But it's cool you could look beyond his choice of expression and saw underneath the "guyspeak." My BF has a tendency to express something sweet and then follow it up with a joke. But I know his intention is real as is his love.

    Thanks for sharing your story!

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    Not even two "very's" ;)

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    And I gained a chronic pain in the ass :/

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    I know right? We need to hook you up Ans.

  • da ThRONe

    Hey dont tell people about our sex life. ;) lmao!

  • LadyTerry

    Congrats to the happy couple!!!!
    Are you amazed that two people from different parts of the country could meet each other through this blog and fall in love? Yes I am amazed and excited for them.

    Does Da ThRONe’s best friend has a reason to be upset with him? His friend needs to be a friend and be supportive. He/she may be upset because they are loosing you as their friend. I acted up when my best friend got married too soon last year too lol but thats because i love her and I didnt want to loose her as my BFF! I have lost her in some way because her husband is her new BFF but we are still cool and I wish her nothing but the best!

    Do you agree that getting know someone as a friend first makes for a better romantic connection? Yes I agree! I just wish more men would follow this rule! The men I meet are all after the wrong thing!

    Would you prefer a long engagement or short one? If I got engaged quick then a long engagement would be a must. If I we had been together for a years then a shorter engagement would be better.

    Can you appreciate the simplicity of Da ThRONe’s description of a “best friend with a vagina?” LOL its cute lol I like a "bestfriend with kisses better"

    Did you think it was possible to find love on NWSO? Uhhh not sure! I have been following NWSO for over a year now but this is my first time really posting anything! Maybe you should have a "looking for love" section on your site for those interested in mingling lol.
    NWSO I have to be your biggest promoter because all my friends read your blog now because i used to call them daily to tell them about it.

  • MissMe83

    Congrats to the happy couple!! I wouldn't worry about what people think. I think it's awesome that you all were able to connect on this blog. Glad you know and LOVE the fact that she's overly emotional (cuz if you didn't you wouldn't be marrying her). Shay clearly you can't live without that PITA (pain in tha ass), so you better get a inflatable donut to sit on. Congrats again, and I hope to meet my ONE some day...online, in person, via friends......real love doesn't have limitations.

  • Donna

    Congratulations.... I wish you well.... If it feels right, then go for it. I'm new to this blog and have enjoyed reading it. Sometimes it just feels right. Personally I think it's too soon. I don't know how long you've actually known each other, but I'll be honest in my response. I think you'll be reading this post a few years and most probably months from now and wonder what ta hell you were thinking. Life has a lot of stresses; relocating also has a huge affect on ones life. Living with someone is different than corresponding online. Dating and getting to know someone is important. There's absolutely no way that you can say this woman is your best friend.... I don't care who you are. Think about it? Seriously? Best friends are people that we've known for many years; that have seen us through the good times; the bad times.... They've been there when we've struggled; and, been there when we've had successes. They've seen us cry; and, laugh.... They know us probably better than we know ourselves. And, they are the ones that we can be ourselves with and ones that we can tell them all our secrets. Those are our best friends, which by the way usually isn't our spouses, but our spouses should be our best friends. I think that those that don't understand your situation can speak for you or know what you and this woman share; but, what you share is new; and, fresh.... It's always exciting because it's new.... One of you will get burned. It's just a matter of time. Yes. I speak my mind with honesty and bluntness.... Sorry.... It's not going to work.

  • MissMe83

    wow, I mean I guess we all have a right to an opinion, but to try and throw salt in their relationship is a bit much I think. I think you contradicted yourself by wishing them well in the beginning, but telling them it won't work at the end of your post. Without you knowing them or their relationship, it almost comes off as hate b/c you are telling them it won't work. (not accusing you of hating..I don't know you or your situation or if you are in a relationship...I'm just telling you what I am observing). I think the best thing to do in this situation...no matter how real you are keeping, is to wish them well, advise them on things to be cautious on and look out for, and keep it moving.

    And also for you to tell them that they can't be best friends...why not? I haven't known my BFF for that long. Actually not even a year...you don't know what they have revealed to each other, how they've seen each other, or what they have been through together...I'm just speaking my piece.....

  • QuoteMan

    I’m not a big fan of on-line dating but gotta chalk one up to you guys. Not only do you guys come across as two levelheaded individuals but also, seemingly, you know what it takes to make it work. However, I think the verdict is still out on how you’d fare when you face adversity, which is inevitable.

    If the past is any indicator, friendship is very essential in the longevity of all relationships – love alone wouldn’t do it. Therefore, I admire y’all on your “friends first attitude”.

    On a lighter note, if any man could make this comment “You’re my best friend with a vagina” and live to tell, I say you have the righteous wind behind you. LOL

    Congrats and best of luck

    @Donna

    You’re entitled to your opinion but you do sound like a bitter ex. basically what you’re saying is “I wish you well though y’all bound to fail”.

  • mizze

    I, personally, do not believe that people.. ANY PEOPLE (not just you two)..can meet online and within a year up and move their life for someone they do not know outside of the internet or phone convos..coming from my experiences in life with my finacee and living together as well as not, moving across country together, our ups and downs and all that.. it takes a LOT of work that i think even in our going on 5 years, we have not perfected..However, i do believe that people are different and that they are entitled to make their way in life. People told me and my boyfriend that moving across country together after being together for only a year was a HUGE MISTAKE; ummmm..its 4 years later and we are still doing our thing and very much in love. That is why I believe that even though the odds may be stacked, life is about decisions and making the most we can out of the one we have.

    With that.. i wish you both well and much prosperity in the future..

  • mizze

    OH! And yes, I think friendship is a great way to start things off.. but i dont think its a necessity. Half the fun of being in a relationship is the "new" phase, the getting to know each other, the late night phone chats and find out all their querks (the ones you like and dont).. Its like that "Friends" episode- "awwww..its like starting out on the 15th date"..."yeah, but its like starting out on FIFTEENTH date"..it has both good sides and bads.. ANd i think its much easier to lose that mystery that is somewhat exciting about a new relationship..but hey, thats just ME

  • da ThRONe

    LOL Thanks I guess. But she is very much my bestfriend. And I could honestly say she knows me better than any humanbeing my best friend of over 20years. Because I can be myself with her and not be judged. And she feels the same about me. We have been through plenty of issues(yes even this early) ,but everytime we came away with a better understanding of each other. This decision is the prefect combination of rational thought vs. emotional connection.

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    I think you just let the cat out of the bag.

  • Spinster

    Wow. Congratulations and best wishes to both of you. :-)

  • http://mobbdeen.tumblr.com Deen

    Had to step out of lurkdom for this one:

    Congrats guys. I wish y'all all the best...

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Thanx LadyTerry for the promo in your friend circle. Appreciate that. But wait, you said you USED to call them daily... What gives?!?!? LOL

    J/k

  • Donna

    I have the right to my opinion and that was my personal opinion. I did wish them well. It's not throwing salt. Even if we assume that something won't work, don't we usually give it our best shot? It appears that you want me to view your opinion as right and not be entitled to my opinion. I never understood why others try to manipulate others into seeing things their way and not accept that others may feel differently without telling a person that how they feel is wrong. Being a best friend takes a lot of work and understanding. You're exactly right about I don't know how long they've seen each other; I don't know the circumstance, I indicated that in my response. This wasn't hateful in any way; you made it that way by not being accepting of someone Else's views and turning it around to be the way that you perceive it. And, I, am speaking my peace....

  • Donna

    I totally agree with what you've said. I feel the same!

  • Donna

    I sincerely wish you the best! I hope it works for your sake. I understand being able to be yourself around someone. We feel that way when we're in love. And, can it work sometimes? Absolutely. But, in looking at the whole picture, it's my personal opinion that it will probably not work in the long run. I don't say this with any hate or ill wishes. I have a blog myself; I've been writing for several years. I've seen it all; heard it all. I read; I witness what people experience. I've been in your exact situation. Living together and being married are two different things. If we take all factors into consideration, the likelihood of a any marriage, being successful in this situation, will not work. Does it mean it won't? No. There are some things that happen in life that defy all odds. This may be one of those situations. I do sincerely wish you well. I"m very honest and very open and tell it the way I see it. I'm sure you are madly in love. That's the way new love is supposed to be. I do think you will look back months or years from now.... One of you will get hurt. Picking up and moving is a huge step. Lives change; that means you'll change. Life is full of stresses and temptations. I wish it were a perfect world; the relationships would just happen.... Enough said. I respect that you're going to give it your best shot. Life is too short not to. If we don't open our hearts to love, we never find it. Does that mean that we won't get hurt? No. It's when we shelter our hearts from intimacy and love, that we'll never find it.

  • da ThRONe

    1st I could care less about statistics. I dont think highly of most people intellect, resolve ,and/or dedication. So to be lumped together with a large group of people who may not have a clue of what it is they're doing in the first place is an insult to me.

    While you are entitled to your opinions and I dont have the slightest problem with that. When you make comments like "I think you’ll be reading this post a few years and most probably months from now and wonder what ta hell you were thinking" it makes you seem bitter. And you clearly know very little about me if you think that I would ever make this statement. Reguardless if this works out or not I will never question the reason. This is an opportunity for me to better myself in every area of my life. No need to question that.

    I'm not naive and I'm fully aware that no matter how resolved I am 1 person does not make a relationship. But I am commit to this for life. I dont let things pile up and I dont store ill feeling. Everyday I wake up is a new day and everybody I know and love wakes up with a clean slate(obviously there are many exceptions). Once again thanks for the well wishes.

  • Donna

    lol.... "What ta hell were you thinking?".... It's simple verbiage. And, verbiage can be used and understood differently just as your verbiage “best friend with a vagina?” That could be taken as humorous or it could be taken as disrespectful. It depends on the content. You don't know me either and have totally overreacted especially when another post on this site basically said the same thing. "What ta hell were you thinking?" Take it as you will. If it was included in content that was bitter; yes, it could be assumed to be bitter. Obviously you have a bitter edge to take it as such when all other content wished you well. People beat statistics at all times; and, many aspects of life our based on statistics. Even this matchmaking thing that you've posted that's happening. Do you NOT think that this seminar is based on statistics. Reality check.... lol....

  • Malia

    What is going on with all the shade? Damn? Can't you NOT be crabs in a barrel for a little bit? No wonder the marriage rates for black women are so low (the haters, interestingly, are women). Bitter. Looking for someone else to fail. Always wanting to be the voice of negativity and smugness. I mean, dang, really! I don't get people who come into something joyful and just HAVE TO bring the negativity, the passive aggressive remarks.

    WOW.

  • Just Sayin…

    Woah
    Congrats.
    There are many people who have met their lovers online.
    Its not impossible.
    I would assume it beats meeting someone at the club or something.

  • Wellington

    Congratulations alot of commentshere

  • Wellington

    This is a sweet wish i would have to agree with datin' online it takes alot of work

  • Wellington

    I don't see antyhing wrong with what this women wrote why all so negative aginst her?

  • da ThRONe

    I'm not offended by the statement or your opinion. I am however some what offended that you questioned my decision making based off of statistics. I'm simply saying what others struggle with has little if nothing to do with me. I am not "wired" like most people and if you knew me better you would understand that.

    It's not the "verbiage" its the meaning behind it that matters to me. Your meaning is that I'm some love sick puppy who hasnt the slightest clue of what I'm doing. When that couldnt be any farther from the truth. Any intellgent and rational person goes into things with their eyes wide open. If this doesnt work there will be no WTF moments because I am fully aware of the "Whats" and the "Fucks". And I will either come back home or stay there whatever is best for me. Heartbroken? Most likely ,but never without being completely aware.

  • Wellington

    think u've said it in a nutshell

  • Wellington

    best friend with a vagina? that isn't something that i'd tell my woman1 she wouldnt appeciate it much but cute i guess

  • Wellington

    sex and u've only been to la tiwce? that tells you something abot the woman youve just asked to marry u thats not kool

  • Wellington

    great that ur sexlly compatible but dam throne that doesnt say much for yer woman if she is in bed with u already

  • Wellington

    I do wish youwell

  • da ThRONe

    It is one thing to quote statistics or give your opinion about a subject. But to tell two people whom you never met that their relationship is doomed based on a brief story about how they met is "In my opinion" too far.

    I'm not mad at her because she clearly shows either some bitterness or shear ignorance. Because if she was as smart as she think she is she would understand it would take more info then what I gave to gauge weither or not two people had what it takes to spend the rest of their lives together. Instead of posting comments in here like the "Dr.Kovorkian of love"(ya'll remember that dude? LOL).

  • da ThRONe

    You dont know shit about shit! How dear you question anybody? Who the fuck are you! You dont know how close we were at the time. And if anything it says just as much about me because it takes two people to have sex dumbass. You lucky we are over the internet because if we were face to face pimpin we would have some serious issues right now.

  • Donna

    Listen, Throne! You took it the way you took it! So be it! If you indicate that "you're a love sick puppy"; maybe you are. What are you trying to prove and to who? Are you trying to assure yourself? It sounds like you are! The negativity comes from others taking it as such. It was an opinion and I didn't say it would fail from statistics. SOME people beat the odds! Are you not open minded? Do you not READ what people write? Or, do you assume things, which is exactly what you've done here! Maybe you are a love sick puppy! Obviously you see yourself as such or you wouldn't have even posted those words. Love makes us do things we wouldn't ordinarily do. My opinion here was totally blow out of proportion. It was twisted and tweaked into something was totally not the intention. YOUR WHOLE blog is based on experiences and statistics! Life experiences; reading things; witnessing things. We base opinion on our experiences and that is EXACTLY what my opinion offered. Does this mean it's always the case? NO! It seems that you are not open minded and NEVER should have posted something like this if you were NOT open to other opinions of "MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE"! There's successes; and, there's failures. Understandably. But, loose the attitude. The things that you've written yourself here ALSO has indications in itself that it won't work. READ between the lines. Your best friend with a vagina? What man would talk about their future wife like that to people they don't know? Seriously. You're already having sex? How many times have you seen this woman?

  • Soulyn

    Congrats to you guys!!!

  • da ThRONe

    @Donna

    You are running off at the fingers about how it wont work and saying she cant be my bestfriend. You have been very blunt yet you try to defend it but saying I somehow took statement like these out of context.

    "One of you will get burned. It’s just a matter of time. Yes. I speak my mind with honesty and bluntness…. Sorry…. It’s not going to work statement like these"

    "There’s absolutely no way that you can say this woman is your best friend…. I don’t care who you are."

    "in looking at the whole picture, it’s my personal opinion that it will probably not work in the long run"

    I have no problems with your doubt. Really I dont care ,but dont make it seem like I'm just being insecure when you have all but called me out right oblivious to whats going on. And it's this I take offense to. You didnt ask questions you made very general very blunt comments about my future. Which was based solely on the small details you received for my blog. I'm just refuting your negative statements.

  • THATgyrl

    da ThRONe & Shay,

    I think many are quick to judge, but no one else knows what you have between the two of you, EXCEPT you. You are grown, intelligent individuals who are more than capable of navigating the waters of friendship, relationship, marriage or whatever other endeavors you so desire to take on. So, with that I say Congratulations :-) I sincerely wish you both all the best- May God continue to bless you for years to come!

    Now...lemme see-

    Are you amazed that two people from different parts of the country could meet each other through this blog and fall in love?

    ~Amazed? Nah. I find it heartwarming & inspiring. You don't know when or where you will find love, and this is just one more avenue in which to do so. I also don't believe in subscribing to any set standard of time one should know another. I have known folks that knew each other for years whose relationship didn't last; as well as know folks who not only met online, but did not know each other quite as long and are still together after several years.

    Does Da ThRONe’s best friend have a reason to be upset with him?

    ~Upset? I don't think so. Cautious, concerned- sure. A good friend will always have your best interests at heart, and if this was a shock to him/her then they probably are just thrown off guard and have a lot of questions. But as a good friend, they should hear you out and continue to support your decision for your life.

    Do you agree that getting to know someone as a friend first makes for a better romantic connection?

    ~Oh, most definitely. If you get to know someone as a friend, there aren't expectations and you aren't trying to impress them like you would if you were seeking a romantic relationship straightaway. I think you get to know much more about a person this way because your respective guards get let down.

    Would you prefer a long engagement or short one?

    ~At this point in my life, I am not about dating long term. So I would not want a long engagement either. If we have gotten to the point in our relationship where we feel we want to spend our lives together, then lets do tha dayum thang! lol I don't think engagement need last longer than the time it would take to prepare whatever wedding plans we want to make.

    Can you appreciate the simplicity of Da ThRONe’s description of a 'best friend with a vagina?'

    ~LOL Hey, if it works for y'all then so be it.

    Did you think it was possible to find love on NWSO?

    ~Just as possible as finding love at the store, the gym, school, work, church, through friends, at a club, the library and so on. Love is everywhere. People need to merely open their eyes, and their hearts to the possibilities.

  • Elle

    Well damn, what's with the negativity? No wonder there are so many frustrated, ice cream bucket emptying, "independent women" chanting, underlaid and notoriously lonely women out there. Geez.

    Everyone who has gotten a chance to get to know Tron outside of NWSO will not subscribe to the negative BS which was stated here. He is a very logically reasoning individual with seemingly endless amounts of determination. Besides, his heart and mind are probably better equipped for a life long marriage than most of ours. If anyone can make this situation work it is him and Shay.

    Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion and none of us can foresee the future. However, in cases like this it makes the ones who passed judgement look really bad.

    Statistics are just that: statistics. They are only a fraction of the real world. And even Churchill said never to believe any statistic you didn't forge yourself as they can be colored by the person who oversees them in any way they please to prove their point.

    And Wellington, get that stick out of your ass, will ya? When was the last time you solely talked to a woman for countless hours every single day for a year or more without there even being a kiss?

    Yeah, thought so.

    Do not mistake apples for oranges when you try to make people look bad who are intimate with each other when they finally are in each other's presence after waiting for that moment for a whole year. It's not the same as meeting at the supermarket, going on 2 dates and then humping.

    *smh* the nerve of some people...

  • The Mean Black Girl

    CONGRATS!!!!!! PEACE, LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO DA THRONE AND SHAY!!! Fuck the nay sayers. If you guys know what you have to be true and strong, then go and do you!!!

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    Is this what having friends feels like? LOL

  • Kool Like Dat

    I'm a romantic and I know firsthand that love can be found in places you never expected. In my experience, it doesn't take long to ascertain if someone is right for you and when you're w/ The One, you'll know it and feel it in every fiber of your being. As for the length of an engagement, it should be long enough to plan the wedding you both envision (and can afford :-) ). It's clear that this couple doesn't fear commitment and that's a beautiful thing.

    Shay & Tron, I've noticed some of your banter here on nwso, so I can't say that I'm all that surprised. Best Wishes. Oh and Tron, people are always telling me my wife is beautiful and special. All I can say to them is "thank you." Be prepared to say thank you for many years to come.

  • LadyTerry

    LOL Yes Daily!!! Well they log on now and read on their own!! :)

  • Justin

    I think there's a lot of negativity but from which others have created. people r entitled to their insight and opinion. Why jump on someoen for tat? I don't think anyone passed judgment. I stumbled on this blog and it wasa big mistake. What a bunch of loosers!

  • Donna

    All I can say is you are nuts! Never ONCE did I say you were insecure. What you DID say is that it seemed to you like YOU were insecure. You have got some serious problems. It's an opinion and my honest opinion! That's all! Insecurity comes from your own inner self. It was an opinion.... Good Lord! I'm not defending nothing I said, 'cause I'd say it again; and, it's the way I FEEL! Why does it really matter if you're happy what other people think? What IS the real problem here? Blunt honest statements. Would you feel better if someone said, "I wish you the very best" and, then two years down the road when you realized it was a mistake, they say, "Well, I knew it wouldn't work or didn't think it would, but wished you well anyway?" What kind of friend is that? Respect someone for honesty and don't pass judgment for God's sake. It wasn't said in anger or bitterness; just a mere opinion. What is wrong with you Mr. Relationship "know it all" man? I gotta tell you, you have set a poor example for yourself here. I'm glad people here have met you and quite possibly know you. There's NO negative statements! They ARE OPINIONS OF MINE! If you wanna take offense to them fine! The problem is with YOU AND NOT ME! People only affect us if we let them. I guess I would question your behavior and reaction to a simple comment on a blog! You have gone WAY over the top! EVERY SINGLE BLOG ON YOUR SITE IS ABOUT PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. So? Don't tell me that I can't base an opinion on something in life; something the I read or even statistics. That's what your entire blog is! And, when I said "I don't care who you are?" That's a general comment; and, not directly DIRECTED AT YOU! You made it offensive and took it that way. You are a nut! It's like saying most people die of cancer. Do they? No. But, an opinion of someone could in fact be based on statistics; facts and circumstances; personal experiences; research.... Good Lord! :-p

  • Donna

    I agree totally, Paulette! I think you've expressed it very precise!

  • Donna

    Awe; that's sweet! Take your time; get to know her.... You're right on the infatuation and lust. Love sometimes does that to us.... It's not always new. Along with lust comes reality which means the stresses of life; money; chidren; racing the clock to find just a little time to spend together. Love isn't easy. It takes work! I hope it works out for you.

  • Donna

    And, wow! This statement IS based on other couples; it's an opinion BASED on experience: Case in point, there are couples who get along while living apart, but cannot stand each other as married roomates...." I agree!

  • La

    And lets not forget, statistics can twisted as they are everyday. Props to you both and well wishes for happiness and a successful union!

  • In Bed

    Who cares where you meet or what happens, there is no right or wrong in a relationship. We all have choices to be in or out of a relationship. If you can accept a person for who they are, then you will live with acceptance. If you offer your heart, then you will have lived knwoing you have a willingness to love. If you have sex with someone, then you have acceptance and willingness of giving each other a precious gift.

  • MissMe83

    hmmmm wow...so I don't see where my post came off as hateful or anything. Nor do I see where I tried to manipulate you into seeing things my way. My "opinion" was that you are contradicting yourself by telling them congrats and wish them well and then later saying it won't work. That one of them will get burned out and hurt (basically). You stated it as fact. My "opinion" was why not just wish them well and give them advice on what to look out for. Do I think it's wrong to point blank tell someone something won't work (especially if you don't know them or their situation)..yep I do...did I try to change your mind and make you see that it was wrong, nope. My point is why not have your opinion...give your concerns and advice, and keep it pushing.

  • MissMe83

    For the record....Da Throne is not the creator of NWSO.....so anything you have said about this site being based off of personal experiences and/or statistics should be directed towards Anslem...not Da Throne.... Da Throne is a guest blogger...I can see where the confusion comes in if you aren't a regular reader...for future references, if you look just under the title of the blog it will say "guest socks" when it is a guest blogger....Just thought you should know that.

  • Donna

    I appreciate the information; and, I also appreciate that you were gracious in the comment and did so in a polite manner.

  • Donna

    And, this comment means? "Well congrats to the soon to be Mrs. NWSO." Not the creator; but, the blogger? lol....

  • Ms P

    I have said it in a couple of posts, but I will say it again...CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I pray blessings over you both!!!

    I have also found love online, so I know it is possible. We live in different states but we see each other every month. After about 6 weeks of talking 10x a day & texting, he came here for a week. That just solidified what we felt. Being out of state we had no choice but to talk & learn about each other. People are always afraid of the unknown, which explains DatRONe's friend's reaction. However, a real friend will still love you to the end.

    At a certain age, and after having life experiences, you should be able to know what real love feels like. Love may not come in the way you expect. It may not come in the package that you expect. However, when it comes to you be grateful it is there.

    As for some of the bitter comments, really was that necessary? Misery.Loves. Company. Miserable people can't help but release that misery. Otherwise, it will consume them. Glad some of you could get some your misery out. Hope you feel better! And I hope & pray that you find peace & love. Please know love comes in many ways. It doesn't mean that it isn't real because it comes in a non-traditional way. It doesn't mean that there won't be issues or disagreements. However, if you have a real partner, you can overcome those problems. You are never going to find a perfect person. The key is to find someone perfect for YOU.

    Shay & Tron, be blessed. So many people want what you 2 have found!!!I am inspired & thrilled when anyone finds The One. I am blessed that I have found mine too.

  • QuoteMan

    Responding to negativity only dignifies it. Yes, those were some hurtful comments, but understand people who cannot live fully - often become destroyers of lives.

    Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another than the ability to always remain cool and unruffled by their actions.

    Brush it off and Live your life, homie

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    yeah that was another person not reading thoroughly. I commented under her comment clarifying that Da ThRONe wrote this and announced his engagement in this post. That's why it says WORDS BY at the very top to make it clear from jump who's words are being presented. If that isn't there, then it's me NWSO.

    For the record, Da ThRONe is a longtime reader and digital friend of sorts, same for his fiancee Shay. Both have been on site for a while and i even got an invite to the wedding for being a conduit for their love. I've seen a lot of back and forth on this post, which was totally unexpected when the idea was for one man to express how he fell in love.

    How'd we get so mean spirited talking about love I don't know.

    SMH

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Mike D, been a long time, homie. I actually need to hit you about a guest blog on marriage for the new series.

    Holla at me

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    you'd have to know Da ThRONe's personality to get it. It's simplistic but brutally poetic, IMHO.

    I know I want to marry someone that's mt best friend and for clarity's sake that best friend would have to have a vagina. LOL. So I get Da ThRONe 100%

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Dope. Mucho appreciated

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    can't we just all get along and talk our piece in actual peace? LOL

    #I'm Saying

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    For the record, although misdirected at me when thinking of Da ThRONe, I actually do read all the comments, FYI. Just takes me a while to get in front of the computer to jump in. Otherwise I would have clarified that Da ThRONe was not me, although the Words By at beginning of post & saying his name in the headline. I wouldn't refer to myself in 3rd person (i.e. Well, Da ThRONe Did). That would just be odd. LOL

    Despite the tension/dispute, welcome to the forum and hopefully next week's discussions won't be as riled up.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Thanx MissMe83

    I was sitting in movies enjoying my evening getting alerts to comments like how'd I get mixed up in this thing. LOL. Me & Da ThRONe are two completely different individuals.

    That's why I love my readers (Donna too:), y'all got my back when I can't do for self. Ha!

  • da ThRONe

    For the most part that is the person I am. I have almost no pressure point and dude found one. People are going to show her the respect she deserves are I'm going have a problem with that person.

  • sunshyne84

    Hey if yall are on the same page about where you want your relationship to go then go for it! I think the internet is a great way to see people for who they really are. I think it's beautiful that you two made a connection and decided to take it to the next level. Traditional dating can be such a headache, sitting around having meaningless conversations and just deciding you're in a relationship just because they're tolerable. I asked Anslem not too long ago why I never have discussions such as the ones that go on here and elsewhere. Of course he made a joke about my age. lol But really when you are online you are able to give your honest opinion w/o the judgments your friends and family would possibly give. So to find someone that has read them and still wants to deal with you is amazing. People are too worried about being something they are not and and living in a fantasy world and I see that that is the type of person that dathrone is not. I wish you two the absolute best!!

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    Thanks Ms P and congrats to you too!

  • sunshyne84

    Oh yea I think the friend was just upset that someone has come into your life and made such an impact without then even knowing. I'd be concerned if my friend came out the blue talkin about someone they met online. You just kinda feel left out of their life.
    I don't know about being friends for too long before getting involved. If that doesn't work you're gonna have a hard time going back to being friends. Maybe if they are a friend of a friend that you've been around.
    And engagements shouldn't be too long. It's basically just the time btwn the proposal and the actual ceremony. If you are going to propose I think you should consider your finances beforehand so you can get to planning. Not to say you should wait until you have all the money before you propose, but I think you should have some kind of a plan. 5-10 yr engagements aren't cool.

  • QuoteMan

    Hey, how come I've not been receiving the "follow-up e-mails"?

  • Donna

    For the record, nothing I wrote was meant with negativity. Throne took what I wrote as a simple opinion and twisted into negativity. Expressing love should be just that. I wished them well until he started in with all his back lashing. If this was about HIS love, he should have respected HIS love and respected that people have opinions. After seeing this on FaceBook, I guess I would wonder if this is a stunt to attract readers; and, THAT is just an opinion and based off what I say on your FaceBook page! "One man found love by reading my blog?" That would be construed as advertisement." Not that I really care, but that's the way it came across. Have fun at the wedding. I wish them well. :-)

  • Donna

    And, thank you for love! I can accept that people might not feel the same as another; but, at least respect that people have different opinions. Hopefully it was a good movie. Ya might be able to make one outta this blog! lol.... Have a great weekend. I saw ya on FaceBook. Said hi!

  • Donna

    Again, you're asking me to "think" you're way; and, NOT be entitled to express my opinion. Accept that it was an opinion; and, you may not agree. I accepted your opinion until you started back lashing me and trying to assume what I was meant! Keep smiling!

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    I'm still tweaking all the plugins. Let me ask you this, though: Are you seeing a button for you to click to get "email notifications?" Should be right above your text box where you write comments.

    I see it when I'm logged in as NWSO, but when i'm outside of site I don't see it. So wondering if you're seeing the option for notification at all or overlooked or some other issue that I have to resolve.

    Thanx

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    I didn't mention anything negative being in your post, but I do see how it was taken that way by some/Da ThRONe.

    And no, no stunts here. I have a blog that I promote for discussion. That's why I joined FB, Twitter, etc. I started anew column last week "Why Did I Get Married" and take guest posts for that. Da ThRONe who over past few weeks had mentioned his engagement in comments section and people who have been around were curious about he and Shay's connection happened. He decided to share his story with me to post and that's all I did. I thought it was sweet and just dope that 2 people would find each other here, of all places.

    I don't build myself as a matchmaker in the least (Paul Carrick Brunson does a fine job at that:) but was still amazed. Especially for Tron, over the time that he's been here he's ruffled a few feathers and took me a while to get used to him. He used to scare me with his comments actually LOL but he loves a good debate, as you do (it appears) so chances are you two are never going to see eye to eye or have a definitive last word.

    As for the "advertisement" I merely write whatever synopsis of the day's post on FB, MYSpace & BlackPlanet for the day and if folks choose to read based on that it's there choice, which I humbly appreciate. But no stunts included.

    I like that you stick to your guns and similar to da ThRONe are not afraid to voice your opinion. That keeps the dialogue engaging. I look forward to your input on future posts. Hey, maybe in a year you might follow Tron's footsteps and "find love on my blog." LOL

    Stranger things have happened to stranger people

    Love is love

  • Andrialynn

    Best Wishes and Good Luck.

  • QuoteMan

    No, I don’t see that button. I comment from either my computer or my blackberry, neither of which shows it. At first, I thought this was part of the changes and would receive the e-mail alerts automatically – I guess not.

    No biggie – for the time being, I’d deal with it.

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    At first, I wasn’t going to comment because I don’t believe in entertaining negativity. However, I can no longer bite my tongue. I by no means owe anyone on this site an explanation, conversely I will defend myself.

    For those questioning my morals, did you not read that we were friends prior to us becoming romantically involved? If waiting to have sex with someone after eight months makes me a whore, than I guess that is what I am; I am a whore for my man.

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but there is a difference in giving your opinion, and condemning a relationship that you know nothing about. Donna, for instance, your initial comment was pretty much contradictory in wishing us well, while in the same breath stating that our marriage will fail. You are making an ill informed statement regarding two people that you know nothing about.

    Some read that Tron has been to Los Angeles twice, but neglected give any precedence to the length of time that he has spent with me here under the same roof, nor questioned how many times that I have been to New Orleans to visit him. Our relationship isn’t just an internet correspondence; we have spent a great amount of quality time in each other’s presence.

    It is an understatement to say that every situation is different as nothing in life is a carbon copy. With that being said, for anyone to blatantly express that we will fail, I am going to go out on a limb and guess that they have underlying issues of their own. I am an intelligent woman with great discernment and would not make a life altering decision based solely on emotion, so for those stating that the “newness” of relationship is clouding our judgment, you clearly don’t know us.

    Just because you know someone, that knows someone, that knows someone whose marriage failed, it doesn’t mean that ours will, because we are not those people.

    We have discussed major issues like how soon we would like have children and how we handle our finances to minor things like who will grocery shop and cook dinner. So, as you can see, this isn’t something that has been taken lightly and that has been rushed into.
    Again, I don’t have to explain however, I wanted to provide some clarity.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    aiight thanx, homie. Def working on it. To update but keep some of the valuable functions like that.

    At least I know it's not just on my end.

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    Hey, so I just added that email notification option back for you. Let me know if you see it now when you comment.

    Thanx

  • QuoteMan

    Oh,I see it. Dang! that was quick. LOL

    Good looking

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    I'm on it. Now if only I could get you to sign up to Gravatar for an image. lol

  • QuoteMan

    Ha, eventually. I gotchu

  • Classic Ruby

    Wow guys congratulations to you both! I met my current boyfriend online, though not through a blog. We met on black planet (which I will most certainly say is the more shady of the two places...at least in a blog that has such open commenting and thought sharing you get to learn about someones thoughts, opinions, and positions on a large variety of topics...blackplanet, not so much lol).

    We did the only written correspondence thing via email and notes for a long time before making the switch over to live msn chatting, and then finally a phone call (I had never met anyone off of the internet before and was very wary. But he totally understood and never pushed me, unlike some other people who tried and therefore failed lol). When I finally met him, I was shocked, as he seemed at first to be entirely the opposite person of whom I thought he was...did I make the biggest mistake ever?

    Nope. I learned really fast not to judge a book by its cover. Two years later we're still going strong, and have such a deep, real connection, and such a complete understanding and comfort with each other that we know we'll always be able to grow, progress, change, and unchange whenever we need to both as individuals and in our relationship comfortably and without fear of abandonment or a lack of understanding. I personally credit the fact that we made the connection purely mentally first and the fact that we knew so much about each other on a deeper level before we ever met face to face, so we had a different kind of perspective right off the bat.

    Anyone who has something negative to say...wow, I can't imagine anyone coming to me with such negativity toward my relationship. I think two grown, responsible, intelligent adults are more than capable of making well informed and beneficial decisions. An internet relationship is no more bound to fail than any other relationship. It's not how two people met, it's who those two people are, what they're willing to put in the relationship, what they get out of it, and how committed they are and can remain. At least in my humble little opinion.

    Again, congratulations! It's amazing to find love, to find a partner, someone who truly makes you happy, and who you can love, smile and live life to the fullest with, feeling complete without them but knowing you've gained something having them in your life. I wish you guys all the best!

  • God’s Gift (Soon-to-be Mrs. da ThRONe)

    Mental issues?!?!? hahahahaha

  • Ru’a'Lu

    Not gonna say anything of interest here, just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of POSITIVITY & wish both Shay & Tron a warm, sincere & beaming Congratulations! May God bless you both with all the best that Life & Love has to offer, & the courage & strength to overcome the challenges that will surely come. Stay blessed!

  • Dc Man With a Plan

    DAMN........This is some B/S! Donna and Wellingotn are HATERS! Just claim it and stop all the attempts at being P/C. It's times like this that I wish NWSO wasn't so Democractic, bcuz I'd just delete everything the two of you had to say after your second or so comment. No fu@king person alive can determine or declare how long a relationship will last, which will last or what is right for the next man/woman. Donna sounds like a fickled old maid whose been screwed over so many times she doesn't have faith in Love. Wellington probably just can't get any azz even if he's willing to pay for it--so he's a LOSER in capital letters. Do what you do, DaThrone and Shay. Anyone who has been up in here for a minute can attest to the truthfulness, frankness and realness BOTH of you have in common. IMO, that's a damn good start. When you have honesty and integrity.....You can over-come any obstacles and challenges. Plus shay is fiine as hell. That will keep a mofo str8! Those two HATERS are immature and not on y'all's level, so Im'a tell them: Kick rocks or go into the corner and pick your nose. Sorry azz mofo's.......
    again, congrat's to DaThrone and Shay.... Y'all get my vote for a couple that is well equipped to make it!

  • http://twitter.com/bsquared86 BSQUARED86

    I'm new to NWSO and I was planning on lurking for a bit but I had to stop and comment. Congratulations to you guys! Ignore the naysayers. This is your love and your life. Enjoy each other!

  • RandomnOne

    I have been on NWSO once before but now I am never leaving lol! You couldn't make me!

    This is so awe inspiring and full of win! Congrats to the happy couple. I, as one who prides oneself in possessing the skill of discernment, say two seemingly emotionally healthy individuals have found each other and are fulfilling their destiny.

    @Donna honestly it is always a good thing to be self aware or to have an awakening of the self. You are blaming everyone in here for your 'opinion' being perhaps misconstrued? You cannot wish people well and failure in one fell swoop. Even the science of gravity will not co sign that. Look inside. And before you come at me for trying to manipulate you, I know what a failed marriage is, but I would never limit myself to some nonsensical findings. I refuse to live my life like that.

    @Wellington - you are just special. That is all.

    To the happy couple, enjoy your ups and downs and in betweens! Nothing peculiar here. That's how the strongest relationships have been born and borne!

  • lola289

    Damn...mad I missed this! Good Work Da Throne :-)

  • lola289

    love language? wooow... like that!

  • lola289

    Wow I kno right Malia!
    WTF y'all they're adults... CHILLL!

  • Organized Chaoz

    I LOVE THAT YOU CLARIFIED! I clicked on this topic just to catch up with what I'd missed and WOW! I was kind of blown away by the negativity that was oozing from these comments. I don't comment all that much, but, I am a regular here and the vibe is almost kind of like a family, so when I read some of the comments, it hurt my feelings for ya'll. I'm with NWSO, I don't know why it seems like EVERYONE is so negative and bitter when it comes to love. There's a problem with that line of thinking and I just can't wrap my mind around the concept.

    No offense to anyone of another race that is reading this, but, these are MY feelings. I definitely don't knock interracial dating BUT I am a product as well as a fan of Black Love and it just gives me goose bumps to see two BLACK FOLKS from my generation, getting together....I love it! It's a beautiful thing!

    I, for one, wish the two of you all luck and happiness in the universe. I pray that your pending union is fruitful and strong. I am a little leery of the internet dating and hooking up deal (been there done that, got the t-shirt!) and it just didn't work out for me. I met a series of crazies and drama filled individuals.....just kinda left a bad taste. It's awesome to see that it does work, and maybe, just maybe, I'll give it another try....again, best of luck and many blessings to you both!

  • Organized Chaoz

    Congrats! That is such a great thing that you and your love are still together :)

  • keisha brown

    black loooooooovvvvvve!! i love it!!
    i didn't read all the comments - but i will say this. dating long distance accelerates things. you spend more time talking and getting to know a person than you would if they were local.
    i was engaged to my ex in NY after being together for a year. i was able to travel there every other month, so even though we didn't physically see each other often, the time we spent building a relationship was valuable.
    LDR's are no picnic, they aren't ideal but they are real and CAN work. you have to trust your instincts. when you know. you know.
    i wish Shay and Throne everything they want, but more importantly everything they need.

  • Caribeza

    Just wanted wanted to add my hopes for a beautiful future to Shay and Tron. I am very sure that they will put all their determination, courage, and honesty into making it work their way :) .

    I think a lot of people don't realize that Shay and Tron have been commenting religiously on NWSO's blog from way back. This blog encourages people who are honest with themselves and it tends to show in their comments. You get to know some people very well like that. And I'm sure Shay and Tron know each other very well regardless of the actual length of time.

  • Donat

    I am getting mad day to day in case of loving someone!......................

  • Tejan

    I found my match online by being 100% honest and weeding out everyone who didn't want what I wanted. And I eventually found someone who wanted the exact same things I wanted, someone who not only wanted to fulfill our mutual sexual fantasies, but actually live them (i.e. the roles we find sexually attractive will be the roles we play in the marriage).

    The key is knowing what you really want (I thought long and hard on that), and then being totally honest about it. Then and only then will you find what you are truly looking for.

  • cytrus

    I've been lurking here for a minute, and a few of these topics have inspired me to speak.

    First off Congrats to Shay and Tron. I can see how in this kind of online environment you can grow a relationship. I've tried a few of the so called dating sties, and have primarily met losers. On 2 occasions I have met ppl that have became friends. I also had people take my name out of forwarded emails and begin a friendship, one of which turned into a relationship. We're no longer together, but great friends.

    Your friend has you best interest at heart. give him time.

    On another note i don't see how time dictates whether a person becomes your best friend. I had a friend's brother move into the state which i currently reside. He's been here for about 2 months, and he knows as much about me as the ppl who've known me for 16+ yrs. He considers me his best friend as well.

    I find no problem w/ the best friend w/ a vagina comment. i myself am looking for my best friend w/ a penis.

  • candyce

    I met my Fiance online~ we have chatted for 3 years and visited regularly for the last year when I decided to move to where he is. We lived together 6 months before he proposed but I imagine he would have 3 years ago if I had been more receptive~ So Congrats to you two~ Friendship first is exactly why I think you have a much better chance of staying married than the folks who "date" first after meeting at a club or something~

  • Yvonne

    Congrats! I like your style ( if I’m dating you it’s for the purpose of marrying you. When I feel you don’t have what it takes to move to the next level, I just end the relationship. Likewise, when I feel like you have the tools to be my wife, I will marry you if you’re feeling the same—which was the case with Shay.)
    I believe its possible to find love anywhere if you are open and available to it and for it. Your best friend...I understand his angst but he will get over it after a while of seeing how great you and Shay are together. Moving to LA? I don't know about that...I live here and well...its a tough place to live. All the best to you and Shay. Love your story!

  • http://Popinfresh26@yahoo.com Deirdre Scott

    Hello everyone I dont comment on a regular basis but I peruse the site often & comment on what I find that pertains to my thoughts & feelings.
    I have been following Shay & Da Thrones interactions for quite sometime & was thrilled to see how it developed & the outcome.

    I just want to wish this interesting couple the best & may God continue to rain blessings upon you now & forever.

    & to Naked with Socks on I just want to say I like the improvements on your website & how u are so personally involved with your site.

  • http://nwso.net NWSO

    Thanks sis,

    Appreciate the appreciation. lol

    have a good one. More goodies to come

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