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Which Birth Control Has Failed You? (The Price of Sex)

Posted by NWSO • June 24, 2010 • Printer-friendly

It's funny, last week someone on the MadameNoire message board named “Wow” left an interesting comment on my now infamous “baby mama” post. She suggested that because of my views on dating single mothers that “I’m sure you’ve paid for about 3 abortions… I pray to God you knock someone up. You’ll be singing a different song then. SMH.”

For the record (and final time) I never said that I’d never even consider dating a single mom, it’s just not a situation I look to jump into but for the right woman anything is possible. Baby mamas, adoptive moms, ex-wives, widows, whatever; you’re perfectly fine in my book and I have no beef with your beautiful children.

But I’m getting off topic…

What stuck out to me about Wow’s comment was the idea that I’d gone 33 years and not produced a child to term was completely foreign to her. I can't lie, there was that one pesky untold fact; but why does it seem so unlikely that someone could practice smart and safe sex?

For the most part, I've never had raw sex. My only slip up was in my younger years when I had a few pre-coital skin-to-skin strokes within the confines of a committed relationship (a few not) and when I knew proper birth control measures were in place. But I smartened up a long time ago and don't play Russian roulette with my dick by just “sticking it in for a second.”

Now, a condom is necessary for me to get down in any shape or form with a woman and I make a concerted effort to use ones that are laced with spermicide in case of any accidents. In all my sexual episodes, though, I've only had a condom break on me once and in that case the woman promptly took a morning after pill.

On @Ronnie6676’s "Why NWSO Pissed Me Off! (A Single Mom's Rebuttal)" a reader by the original screen name of "uhmmmmm" suggested I do a post on the types of birth control that people use. I won't lie and say I know everything about every single contraceptive out there but here are my thoughts on a few commonly used birth control methods.

DISCLAIMER: NWSO is in no way, shape or form a medical doctor. What you are about to read are merely his thoughts and views on each of the contraceptives. Please research each for yourself before choosing a birth control method that's best for your lifestyle. The links that follow each entry are merely starting points.

THE PILL
Aside from condoms, this is probably the most common contraceptive. While a lot of people see it as a magic pill that means you can go raw at will, nothing could be farther from the truth. Not only can you still catch an STD/STI, but the pill is susceptible to human error. Meaning someone could forget or lie about taking it and/or the body might just ignore it and you could wind up pregnant anyway. Plus, a lot of women wind up stop taking the pill due to a host of hormonal changes and side effects. CLICK HERE
for more info .

CONDOM
Old faithful. Simple to use and quite effective if used properly; in that it contains all sperm and blocks the exchange of bodily fluids. Problem is, condoms can break (or fall off those who lie to themselves about needing Magnums SMH) and some hypersexual guys complain about a "lack of sensitivity" or being "too tight." Whatever, they work just fine for me. Coupled with spermicide and other female contraceptives condoms have proven to be very effective. CLICK HERE for more info.

FEMALE CONDOM
I actually had a box of these back in the day but never actually used them. The idea of a big plastic bag with a ring and lube in it just didn't equal “reliable” to me. Plus, the possibility of mistakenly inserting myself outside the contraption is too much of a risk for me. Sure, female condoms give more power to a woman but I like my condoms like my women, snug. Has anyone used this thing? CLICK HERE for more info.

NUVARING
I've actually messed with a girl that used this. Basically, this ring gets inserted into the vagina for X amount of time and releases hormones to stop her from getting pregnant. I don't have a vagina so I don't know what it's like to have something lodged in you like that, but sounds, uhm, interesting. Surprisingly, I never felt the ring while doing my thing but I guess my condom decreased my "sensitivity." #KanyeShrug. CLICK HERE for more info.

IUD
As far as I can tell, the IUD is a little T-shaped device that’s inserted into the uterus and prevents women from getting pregnant. It’s said to be a very effective means of contraception but I don’t know about having some random instrument being the only line of defense against my super sperm. CLICK HERE for more info.

DEPO-PROVERA
In theory, this sounds great for someone not wanting to have kids for a long time. or at all Basically, with this shot you can do whatever you want with your (committed) partner without worrying about getting pregnant. However, nothing is foolproof. I don't know, though, the idea of some device in your body throwing off your hormones for years at a time just doesn't seem healthy to me. Has anyone used or considered this? CLICK HERE for more info.

THE PATCH (ORTHO EVRA)
This pretty similar to the Depo-Provera injection but hormones are absorbed directly through the skin (kinda like the nicotine patch) and let's the body think it's pregnant. Only difference is that instead of an implant you get your dosage via a non-evasive patch on the body. CLICK HERE for more info.

VASECTOMY/TUBAL LIGATION
This is a more drastic approach for people that absolutely do not want any (more) kids. Basically, in the case of the vasectomy the man's sperm production pipeline is cutoff like the BP oil leak should have been. As for getting one’s tubes tied, the woman's fallopian tubes are tied/cut to prevent eggs from reaching her uterus for fertilization. There have been cases where folks have gotten pregnant despite both of these medical procedures, but usually there's no turning back from this one. CLICK HERE for more info on vasectomy and CLICK HERE for more info on tubal ligation.

MORNING AFTER PILL
If you’re considering this as an option, more than likely you were already practicing non-safe sexual habits (or the condom broke) and one got past the goalie. The idea that people that don't want to get pregnant are having unprotected sex when STDs rates are at an all-time high and the fact that it’s 2010 for Pete’ sake still boggles my mind. But I'm glad this is an option for people that are victims of a rape, accidental condom breaks or their own stupidity. But just like with the pill, this does not protect you against STDs. Also, Plan B should never be your plan A. CLICK HERE for more info.

ABORTION
Sadly, this shouldn't even be an option on this list but we know that there are people out there that have abortions like most of us have haircuts. I won't get into everyone's personal view on this procedure but being that it is a last-minute legal (for now) option it should be reserved strictly for extreme cases (i.e. rape, mother's health risk, etc.) and not for some people that choose to ignore all of the previous options just because they wanted to do it raw. CLICK HERE for more info.

ABSTINENCE
Although most of us (myself included) have sex with people we have no business sleeping with, not having sex is the only true birth control and most natural. Humans, dolphins and bonobos (pygmy chimpanzee) are the only animals that have sex for pleasure, http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/pleasure.asp but the purpose of sex is to procreate—plain and simple. So don't act surprised when you insert your penis in some woman (or vice versa) and she gets pregnant. That's what's supposed to happen. So unless you’re ready to make a baby you really shouldn't be having sex, but it's human nature to do the do so we do it anyway. Whatever your choice, all I ask is that you be safe. I've got at least 10 options. CLICK HERE for more info.

Have you used any of the above? What’s worked best for you? Which one do you hate? Why? What side-effects have you faced using certain contraception? Did I miss any other contraceptive alternatives? Do you know where to find the female condom even if you wanted to use it? Do you find it disturbing that some couples use abortion as a form of contraception? Should the government force people like that to get vasectomies or have their tubes tied? Do you think it's impossible for someone to reach their 30s without having three abortions? Do you think you could honestly practice abstinence until you were ready to have a baby—married or not? Why or why not?

Speak your piece…

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

P.S.

Don't forget the Official Naked With Socks On Online Store is now open. CLICK HERE to buy T-shirts, thongs and more.

Tagged as: baby mama, birth control, condoms, contraception, ex wife, kids, MadameNoire, widow

Malia

The very first picture (stomach) is HELLA creepy.
http://www.itsjustgoldie.com Goldie

Don't forget the 'pull out' method. Kidding. Totally.

For the last few years I had an IUD. It's effective. You can have it for hecka years. There's a few out there: copper T (copper is a sperm killa) and low-dose hormone IUD that helps regulate your cycle (Mirena). I had Mirena. No pregnancies. But that's about the only good thing I've got to say about it. Supposedly the hormones are more concentrated in your hoo-ha because, unlike the pill, it doesn't have to go be absorbed in your system before working it's magic.

I was unhappy with side-effects I had: dryness, low sex-drive, irritability (that supposedly can't be blamed on the BC, but they didn't start until after I had it put up my love hole), I missed my regular cycle (it cut down the cycle to almost nothing. I didn't fear pregnancy, but I truly missed my cycle. It makes me feel ultra feminine+womanly. I felt inadequate without it), me+my partners could feel it sometimes with certain positions (hindered doggy style. WHACK!)

I reclaimed my uterus this year by having it removed. I'm using condoms+spermicide now. I feel good about this. If there's a problem, I'm not opposed to the morning after pill.
Malia

---why does it seem so unlikely that someone could practice smart and safe sex?---

I don't think that's what she was saying, she was saying you could have caused a pregnancy and be unaware. Between birth control failure, and early miscarriages (which can often present as late periods), the rates are probably a lot higher than people are aware of. And as a sexually active male, you should be realistic about the possibility that it has or could happen.

---Do you think it’s impossible for someone to reach their 30s without having three abortions? ----

Of course, but black women have abnormally high abortion rates, so some people need to stop fronting (especially now that there's the abortion pill).
QuoteMan

You forgot the most natural birth control of them all: the rhythm method. Lol

Truth be told, what tickles me is - the pull out method (thing of the past)has never failed me but condom had. Smh

Not promoting it – just saying.
http://www.halloftheblackdragon.com HoBDragonDotcom

Damn I feel like an experimental guinea pig now, my experience has brought about 75% of the methods above... there is no perfect birth control, even abstinence sucks - even Priests can't do it... apparently.

Women please do your research before taking that godawful Depo shot. It's laced with steroids and can put 20-40 lbs of extra fat on you before you realize it, it will also have your breasts aching and a whole bunch of other crap. I'm speaking from the experience of being with a woman who suffered through the effects of that thing. Don't rush into any of these things, research them first, most can get you fat

QuoteMan I cosign on the pull-out, even with a condom on. I don't care if it's Luscious Lopez good, get the hell out of there or face the repercussions of a strap that either slid-off, broke or got decimated in the fray.
msrahrah

The pill failed me, if it was 100% effective chances are I wouldn't be a mother today, but I believe everything happens for a reason.

It's interesting that the pill is still on the market after 50 years, no doubt it will fade away in time. I no longer like the idea of my body being pumped full of hormones, I choose to have it isolated (in the form of the nuvaring).

I work in medical research and I have heard through the grapevine that researchers are close to a male contraception that stops sperm flow but doesn't effect the long term production! It will be interesting to see if there will be a shift from female-focused to male-focused contraception.
http://singablackgirlssong.wordpress.com TBoogie

Well, I always used condoms from the time I started being sexually active, but when my long time boyfriend (from HS) and I moved in together when I finished college we decided to stop so I got on the pill...nine months later our daughter was born.

I don't trust any of these methods. I HATE the pill bc it makes me fat, Condoms are okay, but I don't "trust" them. All of that other shit, I wouldn't DARE put in my body. These doctors experiment with us like guinea pigs. Every year there are dozens of failed attempts at BC and then come the recalls. Uh-uh, nope. Not the kid. Now that I'm grown, if I'm in a sexual relationship - and I mean and actual relationship, not JUST sex, we use condoms AND pull out. Period.

So far it's been effective for the most part.

I teach my daughter that nothing - NOTHING works except abstinence. I hope she hears me.
Blue_Doc_NYC

Reproductive control is the reason why I go to school for my PhD. I personally will go with condoms for $1000. But, here is a brief breakdown of why. Please pardon my scientific mind for some of my Birth Control Break Downs.

Condoms are the safest most effective methods for preventing STD/STI and pregnancy.

The pill for the most part like all the other forms of hormone monitor your cycle or mimics pregnancy (why you gain weight). It just means that your body is receiving an elevated amount of progesterone reducing the growth of the uterine lining which is needed for successful pregnancy. Now, this does not mean that the endometrium of the uterus is not growing because it is... it is just not growing to the proper height for another topic that will take a couple of post, implantation and successful pregnancy. So long story short, your uterine lining still grows and follicles still grow.

I know some folks with IUDs, and they speak nothing but praise about it. It is only strongly recommended for monogamous people. This little "T" shaped structure is inserted into the uterus (the string side sticks out of the cervix) and if you have multiple partners, and one partner who you have unprotected sex with has any kind of infection. The microbe will inter your uterus and cause a major infection... you will probably be infertile in the long run. DEPO has been associated with things such as infertility also, though scientist might have figured out a way of developing a better form of the "shot".

I would just watch out because playing with the hormones in your body will cause other things to occur besides infertility especially if you do not know you are pregnant and you still take these pills... And that is an extra topic of discussion.

I forgot the pull out method. Not to help you understand why it does not work 50% of the time, is because women might not understand their body. So back to science, sperm can survive in the females' body for 3-4 day (some people have said 6 days). The start of the cycle (day one of bleeding) is counted as day 1... On or around day 14, a woman will ovulate, so she can probably have unprotected sex day 6, 7 and 8 (if menses last for 5 days) without being pregnant. After that, you need to wait about 5 more day to not have sex... how long do sperm survive and when you ovulate... after that pregnancy will not occur, which goes back to the uterine lining/ endometrium thing. There is a short period of receptivity that will allow for implantation and pregnancy.

REPRODUCTION IS SO COOL!!!!
http://www.chellbellz.com ChellBellz

I'm on DEPO I love it...but I will say this. I was using protection with an old partner once and still managed to get pregnant...even with the morning after pill literally within 6 hours of our protection breaking on us...Very scary thought. I still don't trust my Depo 100% and still will always use protection just for the fact that now of these things protect from STD's and as much as I hate Condoms...because indeed it doesn't feel the same.
Blue_Doc_NYC

Oh! I for got about vasectomy and the morning after pill...

Not 100% body can heal itself and you might still get some swimmers doing its job just like a woman getting her tubes tied... Things happen but it is like 1 in 1,000,000 chance of this procedure going wrong so it is probably 98-99.9999999%.

Morning after pill disrupts the receptivity of the uterine lining so implantation will not occur.

Oh! Did you know that a man that has a lot of sex/masturbates (actually ejaculating every time he does) will have a lesser chance of knocking subsequent women up. So, sperm takes 60 day to actually be produced (yes you make sperm every day, but 60 day before it was release from the seminferouse tubule (in the testis) it began as a cell). Then, it takes 15 day to reach the tail of the epididymus (maturation and rest before ejaculation). So, a man who has a lot of sex/masturbate uses up his reserves more than one who does not. Also, restricting pants will lower sperm count.

I am sorry about the science and stuff. It is just that I study this and I get excited (not that kind of excited) to talk about it.
Blue_Doc_NYC

There is an application on the Iphone and Blackberry called MyPeriod where you can monitor your menstrual cycle.
Artivist

Condoms are my go to BC. I've always known that if I ever got pregnant, I was keeping that baby, because abortion (save in the cases of rape, incest, or detriment to mother's life) is just wrong in my opinion. I used to teach HIV prevention, and condoms are the best way for a sexually active person to protect themselves from pregnancy, HIV and countless sexually transmitted infections. Condoms have not failed me yet!
Elle

Have you used any of the above? What’s worked best for you?
- Pills and (male) condoms. That's all I need. No need to overcomplicate things.

What side-effects have you faced using certain contraception?
- Great skin, full hair, strong nails, bigger boobies ...

Did I miss any other contraceptive alternatives?
- The temperature method. It can be used both for avoiding pregnancies and for planned pregnancies alike. And you forgot "Persona". Not sure if you guys have it in America as well but I'd be surprised if you didn't. Maybe the name differs. But it's a little "computer" which can let a woman know when she is/isn't fertile based on her urine.

Do you know where to find the female condom even if you wanted to use it?
- I have no clue.

Do you find it disturbing that some couples use abortion as a form of contraception?
- Yes, if they truly do it as a form of contraception. However, I am pro-choice and quite frankly see nothing wrong with abortions (unless we are talking about the "contraceptive scenario").

Should the government force people like that to get vasectomies or have their tubes tied?
- Funny question from an American. Yall (or at least some of yall) don't want government intervention when general health care is concerned but you'd want a word in what people do with their eggs and sperm? That's a wee bit totalitarian. Can you say North-Korea?

Do you think it’s impossible for someone to reach their 30s without having three abortions?
- I am 32. So are all my girls. And none of us has ever been pregnant, had a pregnancy scare or an abortion. I am sorry, it is entirely possible to successfully prevent pregnancies/STDs when you use your head.

Do you think you could honestly practice abstinence until you were ready to have a baby—married or not?
- I could. Heck, I haven't had sex in over a year. Even though I absolutely could I really do not want to. When I am in a committed relationship, getting physical is part of it. And I am not going to deprive myself of it for the sole purpose of birth control when there are tons of other means which achieve the same thing. Pills go a loooooong way. Yeah, hormones, side effects, whatever. I'm feeling great with it and I am living stress free. Besides, unless the folks who criticize hormonal contraceptives eat nothing but organic meat, eggs, diary products and produce they are pumping way more hormones into their bodies on a daily basis than I am with my pill.
Dani T

You forgot another, newer type of birth control. It's called Implanon. It is a small, thin, implantable hormonal contraceptive that is effective for up to three years. My ex-roomie got this and she loves it. Hers was implated in her upper arm, but you can't see or feel it, and the procedure was quick with little to no pain (think she wore a bandaid for the first day she got it).

Just another option out there! http://www.implanon-usa.com/Consumer/index.asp?C=62469403536518171296
dbaby11

I HAVE USED THE IUD FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS.IT HAS PROVEN TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE WITH ME HENCE MY EX AND I HAD TWO CHILDREN VIA PILLS. WHEN I WANTED TO HAVE MY LAST DAUGHTER I SIMPLY REMOVED THE IUD GOT PREGNANT WITHIN 1 MONTH THEN AFTER THE BIRTH REPLACED IT. I THINK THAT IT IS THE SAFEST BC METHOD. THE IUD+CONDOM= NO STD NO SCARES NO STI!!
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ABORTIONS.I KNOW A YOUNG LADY THAT HAS HAD FIVE IN HER EARLY 20S AND NOW THAT SHE IS ENGAGED AND READY TO START A FAMILY IT IS NOT POSSIBLE DUE TO SCAR TISSUE AND THE DAMAGE THAT WAS DONE AS A RESULT. SMH
http://www.chellbellz.com ChellBellz

Blue_Doc_NYC Thanks for all that info...I'm studying Pre-Medical Biology...I haven't gotten past my Beginners classes but my doctor did tell me that DEPO shouldn't be used long term. I orginally started because he suspected me of having Fibriods and wanted to build my iron back up. It wasn't until two months ago that I started dating someone seriously. But it does concern me that people who use DEPO for a long period of time will have an issue.
Blue_Doc_NYC

No problem! I do not know how much your classes will get into reproduction, but it is an amazing subject. Good Luck with your studies.
Spinster

I saw that app on my phone and it got excellent reviews.
Spinster

Abstinence is the only 100% effective method. However, for those of us who are sexually active, other methods are best when used correctly and every single time sexual intercourse occurs.

P.S. 2 forgotten methods - the diaphragm and the Today Sponge (which recently came back onto the U.S. market).
Blue_Doc_NYC

I think it is cool. It is on point with the cycles since it has a 1 day error. I also think men should buy it to make sure they are not knocking someone up.
http://msblackmansbriefing.com MsBlackmanSays

Have you used any of the above?

The pill - hated it, don't like swallowing pills no matter how small and plus you're supposed to take it the same time every day, which I had a tendency not to do. The patch - which is discontinued I believe due to all the blood clot deaths, Depo - hated it, spotting all year, and now the Ring, which I love. And of course dude uses a male condom.

What’s worked best for you?
Ring & male condom.

Which one do you hate?
Pill & Depo

What side-effects have you faced using certain contraception? Bigger breasts and a little bloating but otherwise it's all good.

Did I miss any other contraceptive alternatives? Sponge, I think they still have that, as well as the cap.

Do you know where to find the female condom even if you wanted to use it? Drug store I think, Duane Reade, CVS, Rite Aid, etc.

Do you find it disturbing that some couples use abortion as a form of contraception? Totally...I believe it should only be used in extreme cases

Should the government force people like that to get vasectomies or have their tubes tied? Government shouldn't force folks to do anything but I can see a reason why I would in some cases.

Do you think it’s impossible for someone to reach their 30s without having three abortions? I'm in my 30s and thank God have never been pregnant so I don't think it's impossible at all.

Do you think you could honestly practice abstinence until you were ready to have a baby—married or not? Totally, you can't just (or should I say I can't) give it up to every dude that is cute, has a nice body, compliments me, etc....my treasure is special and very few are given the key.
Drea J

Two thumbs up for this honest article. I'm a married woman and I'm still on birth control because my husband and I are not ready for children. Nuvaring is the best birth control that been invention in my opinion. Not only should you use a birth control such as pills, IUD, or Nuvaring, these contraceptives does not protect you from a STD/STI, AIDS or HIV! So it is also important to use condoms if you are sexual active .
Girliebe

Couldn't have said it better! Co-signing 100%

i'm not sexually active right now ( and wont be for a loooong time, be still my broken heart) but ill continue to take the pill as ive never suffered any side effects n its regulates my period perfectly.

i think using the pill togetha with a condom is the best double whammy defence against unwanted pregnancy/sti's (2nd to abstinence)
Miss Conception

You know? Would it be wrong if I asked how come this isn't taught in sex ed class in high school? Some of this stuff I knew before (won't say why :-/ ), but some of these things I didn't know. This is stuff that we need to be aware of. Okay, so the exact scientific terms may be overwhelming at times, but the facts are what needs to be distributed. Especially among the minority communities.
Miss Conception

Should the government force people like that to get vasectomies or have their tubes tied?
- Funny question from an American. Yall (or at least some of yall) don’t want government intervention when general health care is concerned but you’d want a word in what people do with their eggs and sperm? That’s a wee bit totalitarian. Can you say North-Korea?

Sadly, the gov't does it anyways. Particularly with women of the minorities. Many women who get pregnant and English may be their second language or are unable to read at all will deliver their child, and the hospital would have them sign papers approving for their tubes to be tied. Tricky tricky because the women don't know what they are signing, and therefore are unable to have anymore children even if they get in a committed relationship in the future. This is often done on women who are single parent.
ATLs.Marc.of.Excellence

With my last GF, we used the condom for bout ummm, a month and a half. After that, it was all "rhythm" for five years. Then we tried the pill, which she hated to remember to take and gave her the most horrendous mood swings imaginable. And NO kids (NONE) later (AT ALL), I will never try that stupid sh!t again(rhythm method), lol. However, we did use the Nuvaring, for about 4 months before we broke up. I never felt it, she never complained, and all was good........ till she went crazy(unrelated to the nuvaring...I hope,lol)!
illbedat

lol.........i still know some kats out there that do... they call it " controlling your nutt... deep lol
http://www.plannedparenthood.org NH @ PlannedParenthood

Thanks for including links to our health information in your post.
chellz

I never tried the pill. My memory is too messed up to do something everyday at the same time.

I tried the nuvaring and my breast grew a whole size and I gained 10 pounds.

I realized then anything else would blow me up.

Now I have a IUD. I've had it for 2 yrs. No complaints except the weight gain. But I barely have a period. I've been with the same guy for almost three yrs and no pregnancy!
Kia, JD

I've used several types of BC (pills, ring, patch and IUD) and like the IUD best. Once it's in, nothing else to do. (I write about it here: http://www.bourgieinterrupted.com/2010/04/what’s-the-deal-with-that-iud/).
I never experienced side effects from hormonal birth control but I disliked the patch the most. I know exactly where to find the female condom. I've actually bought one and intend to use it as um, research for a blog post I want to write on the subject.

I believe it is rare that folks use abortion as birth control. Really it's some shit antis say and people who don't know any better say. Just because you know (or think you know) what one or two people did doesn't make a "method" of birth control.
Regarding the gov't sterilizing people? Hell no. Not even going to elaborate on that.

Abstinence is not an option I would choose for myself, but that's why I use birth control and know where to get EC if I need it.
lola289

FYI: Um my bff used Depo and it was horrible to her body...she gained alot of weight that stayed after she got off the meds...
Right now I guess the patch and condoms are the IT pieces.

Also, the abortion pic is SCARY but I still believe in PROCHOICE!
A womans body is her business... and that comment by Wow was not cool at all... geez that was just mean!

This is a cool idea of putting info w/ links up... we all should read and learn!
lola289

check out: http://www.mymonthlycycles.com
sweetsassyfox

you forgot the spermicidal ky jelly, its a form of birth control i have tried and everything but i have never had the nerves to have a abortion- now i just use a condom
Ridicularity

Have you used any of the above? Depo, The Pill, The Patch,IUD & male condoms.

What’s worked best for you? I've had an IUD for the last 3 years. I love it like Aretha loves that damn gold dress. I'm calmer and still childless.

Which one do you hate? Depo and the patch. Why? Depo is the debil! If I wasn't a crazy raging bitch already...it made me even nuttier. I'd cry for no reason and then turn around talmbout let's do acrobatics in the bedroom. SMH.I gained weight, it made my nails (which I worship) brittle and raggedy,it made my flawless hair dry. UGH. I hated it. Result vary from woman to woman but I've heard more negative feedback then positive.

I got pregnant off that damn patch and ended up miscarrying because I didn't know I was pregnant.

What side-effects have you faced using certain contraception?

Did I miss any other contraceptive alternatives? Diaphrahms and the sponge.

Do you know where to find the female condom even if you wanted to use it? Sure do. My gynecologist has every form of BC imaginable just waiting for someone to scoop them up like a new puppy.

Do you find it disturbing that some couples use abortion as a form of contraception? Extremely. It's lazy,selfish and cruel. Planned Parenthood will give you birth control if you can't afford but because you're a lazy, useless, raggedy waste of skin you'd rather shell out the cash to kill an innocent life. I'm pro-choice but some of these broads go to far.

Should the government force people like that to get vasectomies or have their tubes tied? No. It's their body and they can do what they'd like with it. Now these people that are poppin kids out all willy nilly...that's another story.

Do you think it’s impossible for someone to reach their 30s without having three abortions? What the hell! I'm 26 and I've never had one.

Do you think you could honestly practice abstinence until you were ready to have a baby—married or not? Why or why not? Hell no. My fiance and I live together and we're entirely too sexually active to resist. Aside from all that...I just don't want to. Abstinence? Not an option in my house. You've gotta be a special kind of guy to be engaged and not "tappin that thang" on the regular.
mimilala

Im glad that NoSocksOn could go all that time without getting someone pregnant. Seems like someone who is very in touch with his body. But I would say my best form of birth control has been abstinence. The pill made me sick and I never wanted to stick anything foreign inside me besides whats suppose to be there. LOL
Sherell

Ans I been meaning to tell you about little Ans. I guess now is as good a time as ever!
Miss Conception

LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Congrats man... and Sherell, why have you been holding out on him? You know you wrong for that one.
Lonias

"Why does it seem so unlikely that someone could practice smart and safe sex?"
I ask that ALL the time - usually to myself, but often. Try being a widow and no children! There MUST be something wrong with me! Geesh! Self-control AND birth control are options, too. *Disclaimer* I'm fully aware that lack of self-/birth control are not the only roads that lead to single-parenthood. I'm just saying that being childless is not a disease/disorder. :/
Ms. Nina

I'm an avid believer in safe sex... I take seasonale (I only menstruate 4 times a year), and my partner has to wear a condom. I'm 24, I've yet to have a baby or an abortion, and I am pro-choice. I don't think abortions should be used as a means to prevent babies, but I think a woman has a right to choose what she wants to do (I'm pro-choice, not pro-abortion).

I think it's totally feasible to make it to 30 w/out one abortion... 6 more years to go!
Elle

Wow, are you serious??!?!?! Does every woman in the USA get these papers handed before she delivers? And how does that happen practically? I mean if you push out the baby you'll surely notice when somebody tries to tie your tubes as it requires a surgical procedure.

OMG! That is rather sickening. Wow. Note to self: Never have a baby in the US
Elle

LMaoooo!!! Perfect timing Sherell!
Samira

Uh...I cringe everytime I hear someone talk 'bout that. It doesn't make any sense! That's why there are so many oops.
Samira

My thoughts exactly.
Womanofyr

Well they have all worked for me. I didn't get pregnant until I was grown (late 20s), and probably wasn't afraid of the idea (grown and using the pull out). And with a man/ex who wanted marriage.

Pill, ring, sponge, condom... all works most of the time.
With the ring/condom, you have more control over your cycle.
Andrialynn

Condoms. The depo was the best for me but I was told by my physician that you should only be on it for a short time, unfortunate for me I was on it for nine years before they forced me off. I tried the patch but that made my hair fall out. So I am trying the pill but the side effects kinda suck.
laylah

Dude, single mothers are not the business.
Many of them don't respect a man being in the house which is why they're single anyway. Furthermore, no man wants to deal with a babys father. WHO WANTS THAT?!
And if the father isnt even in the picture then it says something about YOU and the fucked up decision YOU MADE.
Lastly...what man, who hasn't had any children, wants a used uterus?
laylah

To add on to my post...
If none what I said describes you, then OBVIOUSLY im not talking about you.
InPinkStilettos

This is kinda off this topic; but, related to birth control. In Provincetown, MA a school is now giving out condoms to 6 year olds after they receive counseling from the school. The parents have no say! Something's wrong with that picture.
divinepearlz

Interesting post. I did read your post related to "baby mama" and that was interesting too. However, I digress. I just wanted to point out somethings and this is coming from the health educator in me.

1) you should be using a male condom with a female condom just like you shouldn't wear two condoms. The friction could potentially lead to both breaking.

2)IUD- There has been much discussion regarding IUD. The whole idea is that it is a device inserted by a woman's gyn into her uterus with the intent of making it difficult for the sperm to reach the egg. Here's the thing though that most people don't know. What also can occur is fertilization of the egg however; the iud cause an in balance in the environment and so the fertilized egg doesn't stick to the uterine lining and a spontaneous miscarriage occurs.

3)Abortions- I will be using caps for this....ABORTION IS NOT A FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL NOR SHOULD IT BE USED AS SUCH!!!! Abortion is surgery. At times it's not minor. It can have lasting implications both physical and mental. If your using abortion as a form of birth control that means that you have had more than one. Hell you have had more than two. Multiple abortions can cause scar tissue and possibly limit you from being able to carry a fetus full-term when you do decide to have a child because you have in essence weakened your uterus and your cervix.

Other than that. Very informative.
divinepearlz

btw although not as effective there is the rhythm method, the sponge, and skin implants (implanon), and diaphragms just to name a few other types of birth control.
tissue had developed.
For the record, the ideology being implanon is not new. They used to have what was called norplant. The problem was that when they went to remove the rods they had difficulty because scar. Also, there are IUDs and IUS's. Mirena is considered an IUS because it is medicated.
aqualung

"What stuck out to me about Wow’s comment was the idea that I’d gone 33 years and not produced a child to term was completely foreign to her. I can’t lie, there was that one pesky untold fact; but why does it seem so unlikely that someone could practice smart and safe sex?"
_______

It is not an untold fact if you blogged about it.

Author, you probably did not practice smart and safe sex during your 33 years if you already have an abortion under your belt. If it was an abortion that you did not pay for...well that just reflects your personal accountability level. You determine your level of involvement.
uhmmmmm.

First of all, Socks Man, Thanks for the ((subversive))--ahem--comment about my screen name. Secondly, i seem to have a mini-fascination with this subject b/c i've been engaging ppl in what types they use and i am beginning to hear birth control horror stories about birth control methods: such as, iud's ending up on the bed after the sex act (!), a friend used the pill for years and her lungs became clotted (she was not a smoker of any type) and almost died. another friend told me that 2 older women ended up talking to her in the obgyn's office after both of their husbands got vasectomies. also, i now know 2 black men who said they are headed for vasectomies--one married man said he has all the children he wants and the 2nd one said when he starts his family he will get one after the desired amount of children. knowing men who've agreed to this is a new one for me. as for me i prefer to use condoms, it's easy and for lazy ppl like me (and hubby). i would forget to take the pill and it's the least nefarious method i know. i am not in favor of any body-altering birth control methods and i've always used condoms since my single days.