Monthly Archives: July 2010

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Do You Enjoy Summer Fridays? (Best Of, Vol. 17)

Hey Sock Heads, hope everyone is enjoying the summer thus far. I know I’ve been enjoying these summer Fridays, but I checked in today real quick for my monthly recap of some of my most memorable posts from the Sock Drawer (aka archives).

Before I get into that, I want to remind folks that the Official Naked With Socks On Online Store is up and running so CLICK HERE cop all the NWSO T-shirts, thongs, boy shorts, buttons and stickers your heart desires. Keeping checking back as I’ll be adding new pieces from time to time.

As always, the door is open for reader relationship questions and submissions for guest blogs. I still need married/divorced/engaged folks to write in for the Why I Got Married series. Since I’m not married I can’t write those, and we single folks would love to hear the realities of married life. But if you’ve just got questions, ideas or suggestions feel free to hit me up via email CLICK HERE. Just be patient as it does take me a little while to get to everything in my inbox but I will eventually. I promise.

Don’t forget I recently joined FormSpring as well, so you can CLICK HERE to ask me anything. If not, you can always reach me on Twitter @NakedWithSocks, or hit me on MySpace and BlackPlanet. There’s also the NWSO FaceBook fan page and a blog network page for you to stay connected. Don’t forget you can subscribe to the blog’s email alerts HERE.

Feel free to hit me up on any or all of those pages, just be sure to introduce yourself as a reader/sock head by sending a quick note with your friend request to avoid going through my tedious screening process. Anyway, without further ado, enjoy Loose Threads, Vol. 17 (December ’09).

Sincerely yours,


“Are You Scared of the First Kiss? (When to Make Your Move)”

“Her Boyfriend’s Down With O.P.P. (Are Wandering Eyes Ok?)”

“Your Mom Doesn’t Approve of My Blog (I’m a Sleaze Bag)”

“Virgin Blues (Do Men Only Want Sex From a Woman?)”

“Lying Tiger & Shaq Oh My (Do All Famous Men Cheat?)”

“Taste Your Love (I Want To Lick You Like a Ice Cream Cone)”

“Will I Be a Good Husband? (Loving A Workaholic is Hard)”

“Do Men Respect Women That Swallow? (Deep Throat Divas)”

“The Death of Black Love (Why Do Black Relationships Fail?)”

“Would You Sleep With Your Ex Again? (The Breakup, Pt. 4)”

“Online Dating Tips For Men & Women (Computer Love)”

“What if Rihanna Hit Chris First? (Abuse or Self-Defense?)”

“Would You Trade Sex For Child Support? Baby Daddy Drama”

“Do All Black Men Want White Women? (Tiger’s Jungle Fever)”

Oh, and in case you missed it:

Vol. 1 /// Vol. 2 /// Vol. 3 /// Vol. 4 /// Vol. 5 /// Vol. 6 /// Vol. 7 /// Vol. 8 /// Vol. 9 /// Vol. 10 /// Vol. 11 /// Vol. 12 /// Vol. 13 /// Vol. 14 / /// Vol. 15 / /// Vol. 16 ///

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Could You Date a Jailbird? (Love on Lockdown)


We didn’t break up because of cheating. Our relationship was perfect until that fateful Sunday morning phone call.

“I’m locked up,” he quipped, remorsefully.

I didn’t know whether to cry or scream.

What happened? Are you alright? What happened? Well, whose stuff was it? It wasn’t yours right? What do you need me to do?

I asked as much as I could before the paranoia of correctional “phone tapping” took over and his time was up.

I was his woman and he was my man, so I immediately canceled all plans for the day and accompanied his family for a long day of waiting anxiously for arraignment and hopefully, posting bail. After being up since 7am and painfully listening to an array of cases—ranging from child prostitution to domestic disputes—his arraignment ended at almost 1am.

This was all unfamiliar territory for me and was a painful experience to say the least. On the ride home, now about 2am, I was relieved that the worst was over—or at least I thought.

A myriad of thoughts went through my mind during that day and a half. A weapon. Found in his bedroom closet of his shared apartment. Was it his or his roommate’s? No one was accepting the blame. What was he hiding from me? Was this what went on when I wasn’t around? He was a working guy, I thought. He wouldn’t get himself caught up in stuff like this. I had known my share of thugs, and he wasn’t one.

I work for a law firm; I can’t be mixed up in this. He’s not in the streets; he worked for the city and you can’t have a city job with a previous criminal record. I didn’t know what to think but I remained positive.

We’ll be fine and so will our relationship. Things will return to normal in no time.

Two days after being bailing him out we spoke by phone for the first time. I was accused of being distant (the truth). I was scolded for “not calling the past few days” and called “selfish” for texting instead. I explained the reason for my distance was to allow him space to deal with his legal troubles and that I also needed some space for myself, just for the weekend since these last few days had been stressful.

“What??,” he blew up at me, incredulously.

“Just a few days. I just need to think, that’s all…” I trailed off.

He must have felt me about to leave him, because he beat me to it.

“I’ll pay you back the bail money, bitch,” he fumed. “Fuck you.”

All I heard after that was a dial tone. Anger swelled inside of me. I wanted out, that was a fact, but not necessarily out of the relationship. I wanted out of these past few days. Now I wanted out of this nightmare of the man I thought I wanted to marry now facing gun possession charges in a city where the penalty is a lengthy bid. I wanted out of this brand-new “ride or die” chick fantasy I was unwillingly placed in by a man who told me he loved my classiness, intelligence and wit.

Why was I being berated by him? Because a family member, instead of me, signed for the bail money? I was his girlfriend, not his wife so how was that my responsibility? Why was my being repaid my contribution to the bail money made an issue? Had I not been able to afford to, I wouldn’t have offered it.

How was it that he was now living in a brand-new apartment in Battery Park, fresh out on bail, when he claimed bad credit and being a young man of color thwarted his plans to secure an apartment?

There were too many holes in this story.

I immediately reverted back to my brothers, father and uncles. All had been “heavy in the game” and lived “the life” in all its glamour and its ugliness. Coldest Winter Ever-style. Except, I never saw my mother carry that load of being “down for her man.”

Instead, “down” meant taking care of the household, raising four children and looking good while doing both. A “ride or die chick” was a foreign concept in my parents’ union, regardless of whatever illegal lifestyle my pops chose to live. Back then, men kept their outside activities (legal or illegal) separate from their family and wives.

Home was sacred.

No matter how close the street hit home in my household, the men in my life always shielded me (and the other women in my family) from it. Why was the man I considered my soul mate pushing me selfishly towards it, without my permission?

After the name-calling, I never spoke to him again and have been single since that phone call. (I made it official after he tried to apologize). I question many things, but I’m happy. I still wonder how sugar went to shit in a blink of an eye, but rationalize it all up to being part of “God’s plan” when I run out of ways to explain why it happened.

I learned that this happens more often than not and is occurring more and more in young adult relationships. It starts with an arrest (DUI, disorderly conduct, fighting in a club, etc.) that then turns into a lifestyle and the person you thought you fell in love with now thinks they’re an “O.G.” We’re losing too many men (and in some cases, women) to this “wannabe thug life” mentality. It’s bad enough too many people fall victim to the streets due to environmental circumstance; why wait until you’re an adult to start thuggin’?

What I do know is I will find love again. Until then, I’m thankful I’m free of any guilt and am able to continue life normally. This is my cautionary tale, proceed with caution.

How would you react if your partner called and said they were arrested? Would you break up over an arrest or would it depend on the charges? What crime would you be able to overlook? Do you believe in innocent until proven guilty when it comes to loved ones? Would you be willing to post someone’s bail? How much responsibility does a BF/GF have to their partner in a situation like that? What do you think of the boyfriend’s reaction to her “needing space?” Did it seem like he had a secret life that he was hiding from her? Could you knowingly date a jailbird? Why?

Speak your piece…

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Have You Ever Been Love Drunk? (Sexual Energy)


The Power Of This Energy…

This energy between us…
The energy that flows between us…
Is intoxicating.

We are trying to save each other
In this very dangerous
Current-infested mass of water that surrounds us.

This can’t be happening,
But you sparked something in me.
A breath of fresh air in my universe.

Now, everything is..
All around me.

Do I dare,
Put the pieces back where they where?
Or, should I sit back and allow the universe to take charge?
Allow things to fall around me in the places they choose.
That everything will be…

My heart is racing!

Yet, in the midst of all this chaotic moment
I feel enlightened.
I feel more in charge of my journey than ever before.
But, in all honesty,
I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
What happened to remorse?
What happened to guilt?

You look at me and whisper…
That you don’t want to lose me.
I search your eyes
And hoping
I guess to see if there’s some hint of…
I don’t know,
Deceit, maybe?
But all I see is sincerity and love.
“You won’t lose me,”
I reply.

The energy around us…
Is dangerous one.
One that we play off of…
One that fuels us…
One that brings us together…

We can’t let it control us
But I feel we won’t be able to control it.
If we cross that line
It changes…
Are we ready for that?

Your life is complicated.
My life…
I don’t know
Maybe, I should say complicated too,
But, honestly,
I don’t know.

Maybe, I should say, “safe.”
I think I will say…

My heart is racing.
We stand there looking at each other.
You are a few inches away from me.
We stand there…
The seconds go by as we contemplate…
What happens next.

Our lips touch.
Your lips are soft,
And inviting.
I inhale your scent
And I start…

I put my arms around your waist,
You pull me closer into your embrace.
I want more…
I am sinking…
I am drowning…
I decide not to fight…
I decide to go with the flow of the current.

It’s amazing…

The energy around us…
Is intoxicating
And dangerous.
Do we dare venture and explore?
I don’t know…
I guess…
I’ll wait…
And see…

I love you.

Have you ever been so drawn to someone it drove you crazy? How essential is the sexual energy between you and your lover to you? Have you ever fallen for someone you thought you never would? Would you be willing to risk a friendship for the possibility of experiencing true passion and love with that person? Could you feel the anticipation building in this piece? How’d you like this does of Wet Wednesday erotica with a poetic twist?

Speak your piece…

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Would You Defend a Cheating Relative? (Pregnant Mistress)

Dear NWSO,

I have a [male] cousin and he has a wife that’s great with the family. They have a son who is almost two and I love them dearly. For the five years they’ve been dating, my cousin cheated on her with two of her friends, and got another girl pregnant. The baby is due in August and she’s 1,000% positive that the baby is his.

Now my cousin’s wife, who’s like a big sis to me, married him so he didn’t have to pay child support and wouldn’t go to jail for not paying. He’s a good dad when he’s around but he leaves for days without so much as a call or even a text and comes back when he pleases. He has no job and I’m the one comforting his wife when she cries over him and when her son is screaming for his dad.

My cousin’s wife came to me and said she’s ready to divorce him and ready to take care of her son. Her problem is that she feels like she’s the failure for not (exact quote) “being able to keep her husband’s dick in his pants!” And she has said if it wasn’t for their child together, she would’ve broken up with him a long time ago.

Now, remembering that I’m one of my cousin’s favorite cousins and he sometimes confides in me, and the new relationship I have with his wife is growing where she also confides in me; I am not sure what my position is or should be. After my cousin got caught up with the baby mama and the wife, he’s decided he wants to take his own life. He’s been talking about this for about six months and knowing friends and other people who have killed themselves, his wife, baby mama, and I are at a loss.

We tried to tell him that’s a bitch move to not to deal with the problems he brought himself. I don’t want to say he’s doing this for attention, but his baby mama has seen him hurt himself intentionally and then accuse his wife of getting him jumped and she doesn’t know anyone in the area he lives in (his baby mama and wife live about an hour to two hours away from him).

I’m not 100% sure what I am looking for as a response from this but I’m 19. The three of them are all 24 and I’m the one giving advice! I’m going college for psychology/counseling but I don’t even have a degree yet! Can you give me any advice to pass on to the people involved? I’ve talked to all of them and the ladies are fine as long as he takes care of his. He on the other side doesn’t want his marriage to end but she said if the baby is his then she can’t do it anymore. He says he doesn’t care about the other girl.

Like I said, I’m 19 and though I want to help the world this might be too much too soon. Then again, any advice would be WONDERFUL right now! Thank you in advance, but if you are stumped then that’s okay, too. This is a lot to handle at one time from the outside in but still I thank you for taking the time out to read this.


Psychology Student W/Problemz!!!

Dear Wonder Cousin,

You’re right, this is definitely a multi-layered story. As for whose side you should take, my gut says the person you feel is right in this situation and that sounds like the wife. I know your cousin is family/blood but he clearly ain’t doing the right thing. Not only did he cheat on his wife with two of her friends (WTF kinda friends are those?), but he could have a baby by another woman on the way.

Not sure about you, but that doesn’t sound like your cousin is the “good guy” in this scenario. If you agree with that assessment, then picking a “side” shouldn’t be too hard. You can still love your cousin and call him out on his BS at the same time.

Now as for the potential suicide attempts, that adds a whole other dynamic to the equation. My initial reaction was he sounds like he’s trying to play mind games to come off like the victim, BUT I take claims of that nature very seriously—especially after you say that he’s hurt himself already and you guys know people that have taken their own life.

With that said, that’s a lot for anyone to handle, let alone a 19-year-old. I know people of color are opposed to psychological help or counseling, or sometimes just don’t know where to get help from, that’s still my suggestion. At the very least you or someone else in the family can go to the counselor to get specific advice on how to handle the situation to relay back to your cousin if he balks at the idea.

I actually wrote a post on suicide a while back and listed a few hotlines that can get people pointed in the right direction for help or just someone to talk to. CLICK HERE to check that out and get that information.

Aside from that all you can do is be there for your cousin and provide any and all support possible. As for the wife, she needs to move on, IMHO. From what you laid out in your letter there really is no marriage other than the piece of paper, which clearly holds no more value to him than, well, a piece of paper. He’s cheated numerous times—with her friends to boot and he’s possibly having a baby outside of their marriage. That all means he was going raw with someone else, which opens her up to diseases and is just downright disrespectful.

She may have loved him at some point and vice versa; but what’s love got to do with this. She has to love herself and their child at this point. Besides, if she can do bad all by herself, she can probably do better by herself, too.

Unless your cousin shows clear signs of growth and true willingness to change, there really isn’t much of a relationship or marriage left to salvage here. All that should matter in that event is that he takes care of his kid(s) and gets a job—anything.

The only hiccup in all of that are his threats of suicide. Although it’s tricky, his wife doesn’t necessarily have to be with him to help him—especially if it’s making a bad situation at home for the child and her own sanity. I hate to say this (and I’m definitely not condoning it) but if he chose to take his life; that decision lies squarely on his shoulders. The least you and his wife can do is to be there for him and try to get him the help he needs. But being forced to stay in a relationship is never a good feeling for anyone.

I pray all works out for you, your cousin, his wife and most importantly the kids, y’all are ALL too young for all this drama.

God bless.

Would you remain loyal to a family member that was doing wrong by their spouse? Could you forgive your spouse for having a child outside the marriage? How much responsibility should you feel when someone you know threatens to take their life? Would you stay in a bad marriage/relationship because someone said they’d hurt themselves if you left? In the event that this reader’s cousin did take his life, should she or his wife feel any guilt? Do you feel that people of color deal with their emotions the right way? What do you think this reader and the wife should so?

Speak your piece…


What Do You Want to Know? (FormSpring x Party Flicks)

Hey, y’all. I mentioned earlier in the week that I jumped the shark and joined FormSpring. Basically, it’s a site where people can ask you anything. I’m still figuring it out but so far I’ve gotten a handful of good questions, which I decided to share today.

Consider it a condensed version of my usual reader advice. Check out the Q&A below and then if you feel like it CLICK HERE to ask me anything you want.

Also, I finally got back all the pictures from last week’s anniversary party so check out the good times thanx to Stephanie O’Conner and Fernando Yard’s great eye for photography. Y’all know I ain’t one for posting my face all over the Internet so I guess I’m in a good mood. Apologies, looks like the gallery plug-in I used to post the party flicks has a viewing limit, which I’ve surpassed. So I’ll work on getting a new gallery to repost the flicks at a later date.


What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

Living in NYC that’s a tough one. Uhm, I guess anyone that’s given me the chance to be in their life. Because truthfully, not everyone gets that honor or deserves it.

When was the last time you gave flowers?

Uhm, a few years ago, as an over-exaggerated apology for a woman I had offended. I was in the doghouse & was trying to get out. But I sent them anonymously. Figured the intrigue would pique her interest & soften her heart. lol

What are some reasons for people to not be interested in a relationship?

Fear of commitment or possibly you just aren’t the one for them. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to be in or out of a relationship. It really depends on the individual and usually stems from childhood relationships (family etc) and how that shaped the individual’s view on what relationships mean.

Really tough to answer that one in one succinct nut graph, but hope that provided some insight. Feel free to shoot a follow-up

One more question: Does love at first sight exist?

In theory, yes, but the true test of whether or not it truly is love and not just infatuation/lust/chemistry will be revealed over time.

The idea sounds nice in movies and books, but the reality of sight equaling a soul mate is slim, but not impossible. Sometimes you are just drawn to certain people from right away, so my romantic side will say yes it exists but my rational side is leery.

What advice do you have for a woman who most men are attracted to but overall find physically unattractive? Meaning they want the body, brains and buddy — but not the face.

Advice in terms of… If she’s got the body, the brains (which I assume includes the personality) and the buddy (which I’m not sure if you mean the friendship quality or the De La Soul kinda “buddy”) then what’s the problem? As for without a great body or face, the trump card is personality. Personally, I’ve seen/met plenty of people that weren’t the greatest lookers above the neck but if they were generally good fun people that can usually compensate for what they lack in looks.

Think about it: Someone that’s gorgeous can make themselves ugly by being conceited, mean-spirited or just plain ol’ dumb. SO the reverse is easily possible for someone with more personality than looks.

Still unsure of what specific “advice” you’re looking for but I’ll say as with anything be yourself. Hopefully, you (or whoever has this “problem”) are someone with a great personality to make looks irrelevant. This does of course has to be someone that’s not so vain as to let looks be the end all be all for choosing a mate. A mature person can overlook the outside for what’s inside—even if it takes a while.

But if “most men” are attracted to this woman, then that’s half the battle. She just has to make sure that the guys are genuine and are not just looking to hit it cause he body is sick, cause a big booty or nice rack can always catch a man’s eye, but if there’s nothing beyond that it won’t necessarily keep him. Not for long at least.

Yes, I meant “buddy” as a double entendre. The great personality and the “good-good”. I’m glad to see this response from a man, but why don’t most men feel this way. My experience is they go in and then can’t commit. I thought it had to be bc of my looks.

Again, I’d say it’s about maturity. If someone isn’t man/mature enough to go beyond looks then they aren’t ready for a relationship with that individual. Plain and simple. You can’t make someone mature when you want them to or commit if they don’t want to. We all get “there” when we get there. Fact of life that it’s not always at the same time.

And based on your last line, it could be looks but there are times it might even be personality. A guy could be attracted to a woman physically but she may bore/annoy him to death personality wise. If he’s a horndog that won’t stop him from tryna hit. Sad but true.

I always say, men’s moment of clarity comes AFTER the nut, a woman’s moment of clarity is before. Meaning once sex is out the way a guy can look at a situation clearer and decide what’s not working for him, and a woman can usually be wise in her decisions before sex but afterwards her emotions take over now she’s not thinking clearly.

Once a guy said I was so perfect that if I was beautiful I’d probably be a bitch. Another said he really cared, but wasn’t attracted anymore those messed me up badly. I guess I’m insecure now. Damn. Oh, what did you mean “based on your last line”?

Guess that goes into the belief that most “hot” girls are stuck up, or get big heads because all their life they were told how beautiful they are etc. So some guys may be shocked when they meet a hot girl that’s actually cool or has a sense of humor. Lol

Disclaimer, not my thoughts per say but what I’ve heard. Lol

About “last line” I don’t see thread here and too tired to look back for it. LOL. So that’ll just have to be one of the untold facts.

Now, it’s your turn, how would you answer any of the above questions? Do you appreciate flowers as a gift? Do you think that most people assume “beautiful” people are stuck-up? What do you think of this FormSpring-based post?

Speak your piece…

NWSO’s 2nd Anniversary @ Katra Photo Gallery

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How To Make an Interracial Marriage Work (Race Matters)


If you had asked me eight years ago about the race of the man I would marry, I would have enthusiastically told you Black—point blank.

However, after celebrating my third wedding anniversary to my White, Jewish husband, I cannot see myself with anyone else. I am still as Black now as I was when I met him; that has not changed. In fact, I’m more conscious of my “Blackness” because of him and our daughter.

I met my husband in sixth grade. He was immediately attracted to me, but in my mind, I couldn’t date White guys. I didn’t, until him.

When we finally started dating, he reminded me about our high school yearbook in which he had written, “Call me when you get over your fears of jungle fever!”

I was so pissed when I read that, that I thought to break up with him, but I was in too deep at that point.

Funny enough, when my last relationship ended, I prayed for a man who would think I was beautiful, embrace my natural hair, love my curves and all the other things that a girl dreams of in a mate. At no point did I think he would be White.

So, when it happened, I was unsure.

As I told my friends of my new beau they stared in disbelief and instantly wanted to meet him. They could only dream of the type of White guy to sweep me off my feet. When they met him, though, they understood: He was sure of himself in an unassuming, laidback, confident type of way. I couldn’t let race stand in the way of my future happiness.

This was not without a lot of apprehension.

What would be people think?

If we had kids; how would they identify?

Weeks into our relationship, we had a conversation about race and I asked him why would he give up the ease of life by complicating it with a Black woman?

He responded, “Comfort, safety and strength.”

That blew me away, but I still had my own issues around race to sort out.

We also had another conversation, on in which we promised that we would always be honest with each other about our thoughts, feelings and desires. We had both come out of relationships where those things did not exist and we were not going to repeat past mistakes.

Things just blossomed from there.

’Til this day, we push each other to talk and share.

That promise of open communication has become even more important for us now. Weeks after our first wedding anniversary, we gave birth to our daughter. One of my biggest anxieties about being in an interracial marriage was the thought of children.

Would they identify as Black or other?

Could I love a child that did not “look” like me?

Would he or she be confused about their place in this racialized society?

I had always thought that biracial kids were screwed up and not sure of their identity and now here I was with my own biracial child.

She’s coming up on two-years-old now and I cannot believe how much I love her. That love just keeps growing.

My husband and I have made a conscious effort to surround her with both of our families, so she knows her Jewish and her Jamaica sides. She also spends a lot of time with other kids that also happen to be biracial. Living in Harlem has provided us the opportunity to expose her to lots of different people and experiences in general.

When I first asked her dad how he identifies her, he looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Black.”

That’s how I see her too. Time will tell how she sees herself.

These last three years of marriage have taught me a lot about loving unconditionally. While race matters, it matters less when there are open conversations. My husband and I talk about White identity, Black identity and now biracial identity. Our daughter is noticing and categorizing people already by how they look. I’m waiting for the day when she asks us why we all look different: I’m a nice dark brown, her dad is noticeably fair skinned (turns bright red in the sun), and she is somewhere in the middle.

Research shows that biracial kids recognize racial differences sooner than children of same race parents. Our rule of marriage will apply there too: Open, honest and non-judgmental conversation. I look forward to many more years with my husband and our growing family.

Do you always imagine your spouse as being the same race? Are you open to the idea of marrying outside your race? Do you believe that interracial marriages are more difficult that same race ones? How much of an issue would different religious beliefs be for you in an interracial marriage/relationship? How would you balance out racial identity identities with your child? How much does race matter to you when it comes to finding the love of your life?

Speak your piece…


If you’re married/engaged/divorced/widowed and would like to share your personal perspective on what it means to be husband and wife or how you fell in love, feel free to submit your story for “Why I Got Married” by emailing me at

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How Do You Like to be Seduced? (Sexual Eruption)


“Look at me.”

Standing confident and unwavering; my command wafted in the air, as she stood across from me nervously. This was our first time doing this.

I continued with my command.

“Undress slowly.”

I sat back in my chair, crossing my left leg over my right, and lit a cigarette before taking a sip from my glass. The combination of orange essence and cognac slid off my tongue and down my throat as she stood there, slowly unzipping her skirt for me.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

I gave her a reassuring nod and took another sip of my cognac.

“Don’t take it off yet.”

She paused, mid zip, to look at me.

“The blouse… Unbutton it.”

She took each button apart to reveal her lace bra, her mounds swelling seductively over the tops of the lace.

“Can I take it off?” she asked, this time of the blouse.

I give her a nod of approval and she lets the blouse drift to the floor.

She’s very shy.

Crossing her arms over her breasts, she glances at me with a innocent smile.

“The skirt… Take it off.”

She does a little shimmy and the skirt slips off and down her hips to reveal smooth… Brown… Pantyless… Skin.

I sighed.

She smiled.

I raised an eyebrow with a cocksure look on my face.

“You’re so going to get it tonight,” she smiled. “But you already knew that.”

She made her way towards me, sashaying the entire way. Placing her hands on her hips, she whispered, “Do you like this?”

I nod.


“Do you want this?”

I nod yes.


“You gonna take care of this?”

I neither answered nor ignored her. Instead I signaled her to come here.

She approaches, but halts suddenly. Bending forward, she places her hands on the armrests of my chair. Turning her head and sucking her cheeks and lips into a pucker, she smirks.

“Now what?”

I look up at her, smiling and utter only one word: “Sit.”

Puzzled, she moves in to sit on my lap.

I stop her.

“My face,” I smirk. “Sit on my face”.

Smiling, she slowly climbed on top of me. Along the way, we share a passionate kiss. Her lips are moist and perfect.

“I’ve been waiting on you,” she says.

All of the unsaid things; the connection between us feels solidified. Rubbing her body against mine, her petite frame, her neck, breasts and belly button graze against my face and I gently kiss all of her as each section passes my lips.

She moans out in passion as if she had been dreaming about this night like I had been.

She caressed my baldhead with her hands, as her body continued to rub against me.

Her scent is intoxicating. She smells like a woman should.

She’s agile.

Even in 5-inch heels she moves effortlessly. Finally, removing her bra, she gently rubs her breasts one by one, showing me how she likes them to be touched.

She sucks on her fingers and rubs it over her nipples until erect. She repeats the process on the other causing parts of me to get erect.

Her hands, slowly ride down to her treasure and I watch her beautiful pussy as it’s presented to me.

She rubs it.

Moaning and winding her hips as she slowly touches her self.

“I want her wet for you,” she tells me.

I watch her fingers steadily disappear within her, only to return and re-submerge.

I could see excitement dribbling down her fingers.

She was watching me, as she placed her nipple in her mouth and her fingers deeper inside of herself.

It was all for me.

To prove it, she placed her pussy-soaked fingers on the rim of my mouth.

I gladly suckled on them.

“Is that good to you?” she asked.

I suck louder in response.

She raises her lower half to my lips.

I am staring at her clit and those luscious other lips.

I can smell her ecstasy.

She grabs me by my head and raises it to meet her eyes: “I love your lips, I’ve been dreaming about putting this on your lips,” she says intently. “Do you understand?”

I nod.


She nods back at me and places her pussy perfectly on my lips.

She rolls her hips.

I take a lick.

She grinds against my lip.

“Can I come in your mouth, baby?”

I exhale.


She shrieks as her essence erupts into my mouth and down my throat. I grabbed her and held her in place as I slurped greedily from her volcano. I eased her into my lap and we looked into each other for what seemed to last forever.

We kissed as though we were old lovers, married for 35 years and still my favorite girl in the whole wide world.

“Can I take care of you, baby?” she asks.

I sigh.

“Yes, baby.”

She slides down my body, touching me everywhere—firmly grabbing my shoulders, searching my chest and rubbing my thighs.

Her hands find Him. She smirks as her eyes widen as if asking, “Damn, that’s you?”

I smirk back and nod.


My erection is full blown.

It’s trying to escape, rising up inside my pants like a cat’s tail in heat. The shaft is pulsating and widening. The head stiffens and blossoms into an arched mushroom.

I felt my pants open and her warm hands loosely, then firmly hold me. She stroked it up and down, feeling the blood coursing through me.

The heat was real.

She licked and sucked her fingers and palm, which rubbed against the head.

It felt so good.

I moaned, “Shit!”

She placed her lips on the head and sucked…




I can feel how wet it is when her lips leave it. This routine of slowly sucking my dick and popping it out of her mouth—she repeats again and again.

She was rewriting the way I needed to be touched as a man.

Her mouth was amazing on me. Every time her lips twisted and contorted on my head and shaft, I expanded until I was on full tilt.

She licked it from the bottom to the tip.

Then, the sides.

She swallowed my balls whole.

When I finally opened my eyes, my dick was as slick as the BP oil spill and someone needed to clean up this mess.

She was more than up for the task.

“You ready, honey?” she asked.

I nod in return.


Turning her back to me, she looks over her shoulder while sucking on her fingers. She proceeds to lower them below her waist and moistens her pussy even more.

She palms my dick at the shaft, rubbing it against her clit and inside her pussy, teasing both of us.

With my dick in her hand, she lowers herself on top of me, reverse cowgirl.

Her pussy.

Wet, warm and welcoming…

Her walls.

Responsive and radiating.

My shaft follows and she grunts, “Ooooh… Oh, my…”

She eases down until I’ve filled her.

Instinctually, I grab a firm grip on her slender waist.

“Get it, baby,” she pleads.

I raise her up and down slowly, getting her adjusted to me. Her pleasurable pain is evident. I stay there, lifting her up and down; squeezing the juices out of her and onto me. Every time I bring her body up, I crash it back down on top of me, mixing the sounds of our flesh becoming one.

I grab her legs under the knees and pull them. Adjusting my pelvis and tilting it at an angle, I ram my dick inside her.


Then, softer.

“Get that pussy, boy,” she grunts.

I open my legs, allowing her to bring her own together. She rests her hands on my thighs, while I raise her up by her ass. My hands firmly attached to her cheeks, I spread them apart.

As she comes once more, her climax is creamy and runs down my manhood like summer rain.

Warm and fluid.

Switching positions, I turn her and bend her over the chair for some doggystyle.

She whispers, “I don’t know if I can take this.”

Smiling, I positioned myself behind her, got a good grip on my dick and slid inside. She was elegant in her stance; one leg firmly planted to the floor, the other up in a swan. I pulled her hair a little bit to hold in her position. She responded to my aggression by digging her nails into my forearms.

As the tension brings us closer and pulls me in deeper, we’re both on the edge of climaxing. I push harder and faster, as her walls warm up around my dick.

We’re both panting.

Until she screams out at the top of her lungs…



“It’s yours, baby!”

With those words, I submit and we both climax.

Our legs are jittery and weak, our brows full of sweat and we are seemingly stuck together at this moment.

When we regain the ability to move, we find ourselves once again sitting in the chair… This time wrapped in each other’s arms.

The silence is broken by the utterance of three all-important words: “I love you.”

I nod.



Have you ever seduced your lover? What did you do to seduce him or her? Do you appreciate a lover that takes their time to savor the moment or one that’s ready to jump right into it? Has a chair ever made its way into your lovemaking? How are you at taking orders in the bedroom? Or are you more likely to be the one giving the orders?

Speak your piece…


Who: NWSO & other bloggers and site owners

What: Networking event for bloggers/site owners and their readers.

Where: PS 450* | 450 Park Avenue South (between 30th & 31st streets)

When: Wednesday, August 11th, 2010 | 6pm-9pm

Why: Because sometimes we can all use a little break from our Macs and PCs to network and mingle in person.

(Free gift bags provided by some participating bloggers)

Please come out and show your support! Space is limited | RSVP is required CLICK HERE

Real Women have curves thumb

Do Men Find Muffin Tops & Pouches Sexy? (I Love Curves)

Perhaps you missed the memo, but week before last I did a post for MadameNoire called “5 Things I Love/Hate About Women in the Summer.”  I made a passing comment about finding a woman with a slight muffin top kinda sexy that caught the attention of one of the commenters, who found that quite odd.

Well, today I decided to elaborate on that bold statement and explain why I can appreciate a woman with real curves—even when it’s a small pouch like the woman pictured above. Maybe I’m alone in this quirky turn-on, but maybe I’m not. #KanyeShrug.

Either way I’d love to hear your thoughts on the cute factor of pouches and muffin tops, as well as whether or not men go through the same physical critique in the media. So CLICK HERE to read today’s post for MadameNoire.

Speak your piece…

Before you go, though, remember that I’m still accepting submissions from married/divorced/widowed folks to share their thoughts on marriage for my “Why I Got Married” series. We single folks need your counsel on what it takes to make it work. CLICK HERE for a few past entries.

Also, this is the last week for nominations for the 2010 Black Weblog Awards before the official ballots are announced. If you haven’t already, feel free to nominate or any other site you feel deserves a nomination, but if you nominate Wet Wednesdays for Best Series be sure to input this specific URL: for that particular category, as the committee has to see the series all in one spot. But CLICK HERE to make your nominations.

Oh, and I jumped the FormSpring shark so CLICK HERE to ask me anything.


Who: NWSO & other bloggers and site owners

What: Networking event for bloggers/site owners and their readers.
Where: PS 450* | 450 Park Avenue South (between 30th & 31st streets)
When: Wednesday, August 11th, 2010 | 6pm-9pm
Why: Because sometimes we can all use a little break from our Macs and PCs to network and mingle in person.
(Free gift bags provided by some participating bloggers)

Please come out and show your support!

Space is limited | RSVP is required CLICK HERE