Today’s post is a continuation of Paul Carrick Brunson’s real men think tank. Last time, the topic was “What Men Want From Women? (Physical vs. Mental)” but this one covers the all-important discussion of when and why a man decides to “wife up” a woman.
Paul jumps right into it with the following question: Is it true that when you meet a woman you immediately put her in one of two categories—either I want to wife her or no?
I’ve generally heard this philosophy applied to women when people say that a woman knows right away whether or not she’ll sleep with a man. For the most part, I’ve found that to be true but from my experience I’ve amended that thinking to: A woman may know right away whether or not she wants to sleep with you, but she won’t actually do it if you do something to piss her off. Basically, it’s all a matter of what you do or don’t do that determines if she’ll actually give up the goods.
As for a man knowing right off the bat whether a woman is “wife/wifey” material? I’m still indifferent on that one. As I’ve gotten older, though, I am more aware of when pursuing someone is a waste of my time and vice versa, but I’ve always been able to ascertain if a woman was not a life partner candidate quicker than if she was. I guess red flags are easier to detect than green ones.
Perhaps the bigger issue is that men have more time to make a selection.
The baldheaded gentleman in the clip points out that most men don’t go out each night looking for their wife—they’re just looking to have a good time. For some, that good time equates to sexual conquests and for others it’s as simple as good conversation.
The other brother answers the question in terms of whether or not a woman makes a good “candidate.” That first includes her being his “type,” and then digging deeper to see if personality-wise this is someone he even wants to pursue seriously.
The problem with the type-first approach—especially for men—is that we oftentimes get so caught up in the physical aspect that we don’t take the time out to look at the woman as a whole. Is she dumb as a rusty doorknob? Are her values and priorities all twisted? Is her sense of self wrapped up in a veil of vanity that leaves little personality for a real conversation?
Before anyone can determine any of the above, though, they have to be attracted to the person first. That’s when the discussion changes gears towards what men notice first upon meeting someone of the opposite sex. I’ll let the brothers tell you themselves…
Do you think that men know right away if a woman is wife material or not? Or do a lot of men get too tied up in the physical to really know? Is it true that women know right off the bat whether or not they want to sleep with a man? Do you agree that it’s really just a matter of whether or not he does something to blow his chances? Have you ever chosen to date someone even though you know they weren’t the one for you long-term? Why? When do you think people start to realize that continuing to engage in relationships with no real future but feel great for the moment are a waste of time? What makes a good “candidate” for you?
Speak your piece…
NWSO’S TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY
SAVE THE DATE: Next week, Thursday, July 15th, will be the official two-year anniversary party for Naked With Socks On and I want to see you there. No cover, no drama, just good times and good people.
We have lot to celebrate—including the launch of the Online Store, another Black Weblog Award nomination (still need your votes HERE), and the new URL—so if you’re in NYC come out next week to toast with NWSO.
There’ll be drink specials, food, and a “Dating Game” that should be super-fun for all the singles. Fellas, the ladies came out looking fierce at the Modern Day Matchmaker event last month, I expect nothing less this time so be there or be the one that wishes they were there.
It all goes down at Katra, located at 217 Bowery (between Prince & Rivington).
Presented by The ADAGroup, Grae Enterprises & Don’t Lose Your Day Job. Doors open at 5pm. 2 for 1 drink specials 5-8pm. If all goes well, this might become a regular event.