The guy is probably not going to commit suicide. He just wants attention. He is a child mentally. He likes having a wife and a girlfriend, and he doesn't want things to change. Therefore, he threatens suicide so that everyone will be concerned for him and his wife and girlfriend will stay in place and under his control.

I had a friend of mine's soon to be ex-wife threaten suicide on the phone with me and to her husband. In her case, I could tell she was just being the victim and manipulative, and told her that I could have someone come over if she was serious, and I was serious about it. I figured either she would back down, or I really needed to call somebody, and her response would tell me what to do. Plus I think it helped that I knew they had weed in the house, so having the cops show up would probably not be something she wanted. She backed down and she never threatened suicide again, with me, anyway. We instead talked about her real problems and I made sure she knew I cared about her well-being and was there for her to talk.

But then again, I can read people pretty well... usually. You have to be careful in these situations. One wrong move and its like setting off a time bomb.

When you have to worry more is not when they are threatening suicide (unless they are irrational and crazy), but rather when they get quiet. If someone threatening suicide becomes quiet and wants to be alone, don't let them. I had a different friend that almost committed suicide when she was younger, and luckily her aunt would not leave her alone. If she had, she would have been dead.

Good luck man. And get help if you need it.

In the event that this reader’s cousin did take his life, should she or his wife feel any guilt?
Don't feel guilt over that because it could consume your life. As I said before, if he makes comments about hurting himself and you honestly believe he will...have the good ole police dept show him to that padded room for a 3 day vacation. If he was playing, he won't play anymore about saying he'll hurt himself if he doesnt mean it. And if he does have psychological demons to confront, thats the place where he has experts on demand.

Do you feel that people of color deal with their emotions the right way?
That's a whole nother topic in and of itself. *pause/sigh* People of color are not in their right frame of mind these days from many influences. From music, to food, to TV, to music, to religion. A psychologist/psychiatrist won't help US with OUR problems. Think about it. When you go to a therapist you sit on a couch and talk about your HISTORY...your childhood, parents, etc. You talk about your PAST. We are a lost people with a lost history. We don't fully understand the psychological combat that has been assaulted against us from generations ago, culminating up to this point in 2010. We are the end result of hundreds of years or racism, oppression, self-hatred, misconceptions, deception, etc. If we were spiritual accountable for what we do, as opposed to going to sit and listen to messages about a fictional character in church, then we would be able to overstand why we have so many issues from absent fathers, drug abuse, promiscuity, self-doubt, depression, disease/illness, family relationships, etc. All the issues in our community could be solved without having to pay a single co-pay or having to claim a single religion. But that would be too easy and is exactly why we as a people aren't there yet. Alot of us are content where we are...and therefore our comfort zone is never shaken up enough to make us want to change.

What do you think this reader and the wife should so?
The wife should go to legal aid and find out her options and file for divorce. This way the cousin is FORCED to take responsibility. She wonders why he doesn't change his ways when SHE HAS GIVEN HIM NO REASON TO. He has NO JOB, NO RESPONSIBILITY, NO BILLS, AVAILABLE SEX...what man is going to leave that?? Shake up his comfort zone. He doesn't respect his wife and his child..and most important..he DOESNT RESPECT HIMSELF. You can't show any kind of emotion (love, respect, honesty, etc) until you can do that with yourself first.
The reader should distance himself from his cousin because he is a man caught up in a lot of drama of his own doing. He is a recipe for disaster. With all of his "side activity" going on, who's to say one of the young ladies he is spending time with may not have a boyfriend? And who's to say that boyfriend may be insanely jealous? And who's to say that insanely jealous boyfriend won't roll up on the cousin and the reader together and start some ish? Now the reader is involved in a situation that has nothing to do with him. The reader knows the cousin is wrong, so he should not avoid him completely, but just choose his interactions with him wisely.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST.....I noticed the reader seems to possibly have feelings for the cousin's wife..I may be reaching but the comment about her confiding in him caught my attention. Just remember if the wife and cousin do separate or divorce, don't be HER REBOUND. She may feel like the reader is giving her what her husband doesn't but she is really focusing her energy in the direction of where she is receiving attention. Because dating her could possibly lead to a rift between reader and cousin...when in actuality the wife may have just wanted to feel wanted.
Peace and Blessings
Empress Ether

Could you forgive your spouse for having a child outside the marriage?
Depends on the circumstances. We are human and we all mess up but 9/10 if the other woman comes up preggo, then my hubby must have been "raw-dogging" it a few times which puts my life in jeopardy. When it has gotten to the point where our family structure has been changed and/or compromised I might have to walk away. Because not only do you not care about me and my health, you don't care about yourself as my husband to even keep your life out of harm's way. So that one might be a wrap.

How much responsibility should you feel when someone you know threatens to take their life?
You should take responsibility based on how well you know that person. If someone has claimed they want to attempt suicide before and has done something like swallow a bottle of tylenol or superficially cut themselves...then recognize those as cries for attention. PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES, KILL THEMSELVES. When you know you want to die, you're going to do something reliable like jumping off a bridge or shooting yourself where you know the odds are higher that you will be successful. A superficial suicide attempt is a cry for attention because things usually aren't going the person's way and they want to make other people feel bad or sorry for them to ALLEVIATE PRIOR SITUATIONS TO THE SUICIDE ATTEMPT (which is probably why the cousin tried to call the police on one of his side pieces, saying she had him jumped. HE WANTED ATTENTION and his wounds were likely enough to inflict VISIBLE damage to VERIFY HIS ATTEMPT but not enough to cause death. You just have to recognize it for what it is. If you believe he will really do it, CALL THE POLICE AND GET THE PERSON BAKER ACT'D. This is involuntary 72 hour lock up for evaluation. If he was really just playing, 3 days in the psyche ward will ensure he never does it again. And if he's really mentally unstable, then he's where he needs to be.

Next time he says he gonna kill himself, call up the mental folk so they can keep him for a couple of days. I don't know what to think about talk like that. He's not working, his wife wants him out, and relatives express some anger. He kinda got nothing to live for, I guess. Except the kids. He needs to put kids first. And while family criticize, they should follow by saying they still love him. Actually, while the wife throw him out, she can say she will always love him.

She gots to set her boundaries and stick to it. And what kind of emotional or physical abuse is going on in that house on a daily basis, every-- day--: since he crazy enough to talk suicide. Kids don't need to see/hear that drama/trauma. He ruin her life. Actually, he can only ruin his own life. But she has very close proximity, so she share the emotional drama/trauma of a ruined life. If she used all her superwoman power to fix things

You very young, but you old enough to call out the adults sometimes on their BS. But don't bother to hear all the excuses and let them talk you into being a BS conspirator. You tell the truth (be your truthful, caring self). Then say you love them. And that's that. Support the wife and kids, with stuff that 19 year olds can do, she needs you for that (a friend who wont boink the hubby) but be the 19 year old, not the 35 year old, be you. Leave the lying cousin to your mother. You can give the advice to him, through your mother or aunt.

Yall probably need to have a family meeting where all tell truth without a bunch of excuse, and remind all you love each other, with wife too. Maybe have a psych doc to participate for a couple of hours. Those who show up will get the benefit of this, and those who don't show will be messed up longer.

But seriously...this person needs to talk to a professional... If the situation is that serious than a Blog or Blogger is not enough!
Ur in school? Talk to a counselor or one of ur teachers...

Now, the wife had a major hand in this mess, too. Don’t start shit you can’t finish - and she did. You can’t build a marriage on a wing and a prayer – and she tried. You get the feeling that she’s not going to heed the advice of anyone until she’s good and ready to leave. For now, she just need a shoulder to cry on, why else would she confide in a 19 yr old (No offense, Ma).

To the young lady, I say you’re the victim here. Those two know enough about life than you could ever dream. Apparently, you’re the only one who wouldn’t put them in their place. They’ve found solace in your kindness and taking it for weakness. Let them know you’re too young for their problems and recommend them talking to an adult and see how that turns out.

Keep your mind out of their issues and back in your books where it belongs.