Have You Ever Been Drunk Dialed? (Talk Like Sex)

I woke up sometime in the afternoon to a pounding headache. My Blackberry was in one hand, while my manhood was in my other. I had no immediate recollection of what had transpired the night before, but the flaky off-white residue stuck to the palm of my hand and stomach gave me a clue.

Gathering my composure, I looked at my phone and checked to see who was the last call.

Justine.

Call duration: 34 minutes, 38 seconds.

End time: 2:36am.

Slowly, the once-barren memories of last night flooded back to me.

I had spent the night at my homeboy Charles's barbecue in Brooklyn. As expected with any summertime function, the amount of liquor greatly exceeded the actual food, and I consumed more than my fair share of libations.

A few heavy-handed Bacardi and cokes, overpowering Absolut and cranberry juice, and when the chasers were all but sopped up, I took my poison straight.

As a result of my over-indulgence, I found myself in rare form, grindin' on female associates the dance floor and crackin' jokes with my boys in between. It was a good time for all, but all good things must come to an end.

For me at least.

It was somewhere around 1:30 in the morning when I decided to call it quits. The party was still going but even in my inebriated state I knew I’d had enough. I was ready to go, so I left.

I recalled a few friends asking if I were alright as I made my way down the stairs of Charles’ porch. I shook my head and grunted out an affirmative reply. Still, one friend offered me a ride but declined, citing that I only lived a few blocks away and reassured that I’d be fine.

Before anyone else could protest, I cut the corner and made my way home.

With a few liters of liquor coursing through my system, I felt antsy and yearned for female companionship. I pulled out my phone and began to search through the names.

Amanda?

No, she was an early bird and would be fast asleep at this hour.

Diane?

No, she had a man now and he was the jealous type.

Flo?

No, she was too much of a prude to entertain me and my drunken advances?

Then, I arrived at Justine’s name.

We’d gone out once or twice but it had never gotten physical—not even a kiss. Still, knowing her, she’d either be out or just getting in. I had a 50/50 shot at her still being up but I pressed send anyway.

The phone rang just twice before she picked up.

“Hey,” Justine answered.

“You still up?”

“Yeah, where are you?”

“I’m walking home from my boy’s barbeque and needed some company.”

“So you just called to use me, huh?”

“Exactly,” I laughed.

“How’d you know I’d be up, anyway?”

“Because you always are.”

“Well, I was just getting ready for bed…”

“So, what are you wearing?”

“Have you been drinking; ’cause this is a side of you I’ve never seen.”

“Yeah, I had a couple drinks… but like I was saying, what are you wearing?”

“Boy, I ain’t messing with you.”

“Then why you always talking about how you like my juicy lips?”

“Because you got nice lips…”

“I bet you’ve got some nice lips that I ain’t even seen yet, too.”

“Boy, you better stop it.”

Just then I reached my building. As I made my way through the lobby and into the elevator, the call got choppy and eventually dropped. Once I reached my floor and crossed the threshold of my doorway, I called Justine back.

“Sorry about that,” I began. “Now what were you saying about my lips?”

“No, you were the one talking about my lips.”

“Yeah, that’s right, I’d love to stick my tongue between your legs and lick those lips.”

“What?!?!”

“You heard me. You just want me to repeat it.”

“Boy, you must be drunk, because I’ve never heard you talk like that.”

“I don’t have to be drunk to want to eat your pussy, because I’ve wanted to fuck you for a long time.”

“Wow… I don’t know… like… what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, just tell me what you’re wearing.”

“Are you serious?”

“I haven’t been more serious about anything in my life.”

By this point I was already in my bedroom and had stripped down to nothing more than my boxers and wifebeater, with my socks on. I laid down in my bed, slid my hand towards my stiffness, and quickened up the pace of the conversation.

“Don’t make me ask again, J.”

“Okay, I’m wearing some boyshorts and a camisole top.?

“What color are they?”

“Uhm,” she began, sounding as if she had to look down to recall. “They’re sky blue with pink stars and lace trip.”

“Are your nipples hard,” I asked, while stroking my own hardness gently.

“Yeah, and my pussy is wet.”

“Oh, really? I want you to take your finger and rub on your clit. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I want your fingers soaked in your own juices,” I uttered in my deep bassy baritone. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes.”

“Now, tell me how you taste.”

Without hesitation I heard Justine slurp warm fluid off the tips of her fingers. She sounded as if she enjoyed it as much I would had I been there.

“I taste,” she slurped again. “Sweet.”

“Mmmm, I wish I could be there to taste you for myself.”

“Me, too.”

“I want you to take your panties off,” I responded. “I don’t want anything to restrict you.”

I waited for Justine to oblige me.

“You ready for me, babe?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Bend your knees and spread your legs. I want you to rub your clit until you can’t take it. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I can’t hear you.”

“Yes,” she moaned.

“My dick is throbbing for you. It feels so warm and big in my hand; I just want to be inside of you right now. I want to ride you until you cum. Do you want to cum for me?”

“Yes.”

“You still rubbing that clit for me?”

“Yes.”

“Mmmm, I like when you tell me yes. It makes my dick even harder than it already is. I wish you were to suck it. Would you like to suck my dick?”

“Yes.”

“Do you wanna feel me explode in your mouth?”

“God, yes.”

“Rub that clit, babe, imagine it’s my dick brushing up against it. In and out. Deeper and harder. Faster and faster. Can you feel that nut coming on?”

“Yes… I feel it… I’m about to cum…”

“Me, too.”

Justine began to moan in ecstasy. Her breath became short and shallow. I could hear her voice quiver as a surge of pleasure began to rush towards the tiny fibers of her nether region.

The more she moaned, the harder I stroked my dick. The droplets of pre-cum had multiplied exponentially and my palm was slick with warm clear fluid that lubricated my shaft from base to swollen head. I listened intently as Justine succumb to my commands and prepared to cum.

“I wanna hear you cum,” I said. “Let me know it’s good to you.”

“Yes… it’s good,” she panted. “Oh, my fuckin’ God.”

Justine gasped as her orgasm arrived, overpowering all of her senses. Her pleasure brought me to climax as a stream of white lava erupted from my dick and squirted onto my stomach. The overflow dripped over my clenched fist and trickled down slowly as I steadied my stroke, basking in euphoria.

“That… was… amazing,” Justine said. “I never expected that.”

Silence…

“Hello,” Justine said. “You still there?”

Zzzz…

In my drunken state; that’s the last thing I remember. I must have gotten my nut and fell out until the next day when I woke up sometime in the afternoon to a pounding headache.

Fin…?

Have you ever been drunk dialed or called someone when you were under the influence? Would you entertain a sexual call in the wee hours of the night from someone you hadn’t been intimate with? Are you hornier when you’ve been drinking? Do you enjoy phone sex when you can’t be with the person you want? What would you do if I reached out and called you for a conversation like this? Would you hang up or see how things played out? Was this a good reminder of why you and your friends need to vote Wet Wednesdays as “Best Blog Series” in the Black Weblog Awards before next week’s deadline?

Speak your piece…

REMINDER: LAST CHANCE TO CAST YOUR VOTE

Polls for the 2010 Black Weblog Awards finals close next Tuesday, August 31. So if you haven’t already, be sure to cast your ballot for Naked With Socks On, which was nominated for “Best Sex & Relationship Blog” and “Best Blog Post Series” for Wet Wednesdays. Feel free to spread the love for NWSO and the other great sites that made it to the finals by CLICKING HERE TO VOTE!!!  Thanx in advance.

Tagged as: drunk dial, masturbation, phone sex, Sex, wet wednesdays