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Do You Have a Dream? (Let’s Help Each Other Achieve It)

Posted by NWSO • August 27, 2010 • Printer-friendly

Consider this a double post as I have a couple things to tackle today. Let me get through the boring stuff first. So if you haven’t noticed the 2010 Black Weblog Awards Finalist badge at the bottom of the posts the past few weeks, Naked With Socks On earned two nominations this year. One for “Best Sex & Relationship Blog” and another for “Best Blog Series” for Wet Wednesdays. The last day to vote for NWSO (or any other site of your choosing) is next Tuesday, August 31, so if you haven’t already CLICK HERE to cast your ballot before the polls close. Feel free to tell a friend, too.

Now, on to the next order of business…

Week before last I had the pleasure of meeting Raeven Western of PushyDreamers.com, which is a site that celebrates and promotes people’s dreams and aspirations. We both follow each other on Twitter (Hey, follow me @NakedWithSocksOn too) and on FaceBook (CLICK HERE to “like” the fan page), but had never actually spoke face-to-face.

Well, after a brief conversation Raeven felt decided that right then and there was as good a time as any to interview me for the site. So we bumrushed a nearby Chase ATM bank and she whipped out her FlipCam and we got our digital media on guerilla style. Below you’ll find the end results, which I think made for a pretty good interview—minus the background music.

But I’m biased, of course. So you be the judge.

What are your ultimate dreams and aspirations? What are you doing to make those goals come to fruition? Are you a procrastinator? Have you ever been doubted? Do you feel a sense of vindication when you’re able to overcome obstacles or “haters” to achieve your goal(s)? What are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish your dreams? What three things do you think people need to do to stay on track with their dreams? What did you think of my advice and tips overall?

Speak your piece…

But, before you do, it’s the last weekend of the month so I dug in the Sock Drawer (aka archives) and picked out a few memorable posts that you may have missed. Also, don’t forget the Official Naked With Socks On Online Store is up and running so CLICK HERE cop all the NWSO T-shirts, thongs, boy shorts, buttons and stickers your heart desires. Keeping checking back as I’ll be adding new pieces from time to time.

Win or lose, thanx in advance for your support in the Awards and without further ado, enjoy Loose Threads, Vol. 18 (January ’10).

Sincerely yours,

NWSO

Do You Need Titles in a Relationship? (Love & Happiness)
CLICK HERE

My Sucky New Year (Have You Ever Regretted Sex?)
CLICK HERE

She Broke My Heart & My Penis (Handling a Bad Breakup)
CLICK HERE

How Do You Deal With Death? (I’ll Always Love You)
CLICK HERE

Can You Accept My Flaws? (Da ThRONe’s Dating Theory)
CLICK HERE

Have You Ever Had a Perfect Jump-Off? (My Special Friend)
CLICK HERE

Have You Ever Loved the Wrong Person? (Self-Mutilation)
CLICK HERE

What If Someone Spit On You? (The Ultimate Disrespect)
CLICK HERE

Would You Stifle a Child’s Creativity? (The Dream Shatterer)
CLICK HERE

Do I Tell My Dad to Stop Calling? (Broken Family Values)
CLICK HERE

What’s Wrong With Gay Marriage? (A Civil Rights Issue)
CLICK HERE

Would You Break Up a Marriage? (My Married Ex Wants Me)
CLICK HERE

Do You Hate Your Job? (Recession-Proof Dreams)
CLICK HERE

What Men Love About Women (Ass Men vs. Breast Men)
CLICK HERE

Oh, and in case you missed it:

Vol. 1 /// Vol. 2 /// Vol. 3 /// Vol. 4 /// Vol. 5 /// Vol. 6 /// Vol. 7 /// Vol. 8 /// Vol. 9 /// Vol. 10 /// Vol. 11 /// Vol. 12 /// Vol. 13 /// Vol. 14 / /// Vol. 15 / /// Vol. 16 /// Vol. 17 / ///

BONUS

Did y'all see this AutoTuned Remix of that kid hearing her parents having sex clip I posted about a couple weeks ago? HILL-ARI-OUS!

Tagged as: ASPIRATIONS, best of, dreams, goals

Shannon

I used to have a lot of dreams when I was younger. So many people kept saying I was biting off more than I could chew when it came to my dreams, I just abandoned them...until I came of age in my twenties.

I went to college and graduated, just like the school guidance counselor swore I would never do. I grasped all the material just like my teachers said I never would. I worked my way up the ladder to join the ranks in human resources, like my colleagues said I would never make it that far.

And now I am teaching my children to reach their potential and follow their dreams, but be realistic about their abilities. Know what you can do and what you are capable of doing so your dreams will be realistic; my sister will never be a ballerina at 250 lbs., my brother will never outsing Usher with a voice like his, my mother will never be cast on a cooking show with her inability and lack of desire to change and try something new, like rosemary and thyme on chicken instead of salt and pepper and I will never be a professional dancer, not with the way I'm built, even though I love to dance. I can be honest about my limitations. Know what you can do and then you can do what you know.
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

Greetings NWSO! and hello Shannon

Love this and thank you! Life online is great, getting to meet the person behind the screen... Even better! And I thank you so much for allowing me that opportunity to hear, learn and share your words with others.

Shanon...

That is exactly the reason why we don't allow ourselves the pleasure of discovering more in life, because we set limitations in our words before we even allow ourselves to dream bigger.

It is easier to short change ourselves by feeding words of can'ts or never, similar to what those mindless people told you while growing up. Now if your sister really wanted to become a ballerina, she could. If weight was the issue, then she should work out that issue.
If your Mom wants to become a chef, her issue is learning more dishes, which if she really wanted too... could. Now I can't speak for your brother sounding like Usher, but if he can sing, he should sing, comparing ourselves to what others are better at is another way of destroying a dream.

We should be uplifting each other, encouraging other to become better people, especially within a family. That's why I enjoy PushyDreamers, because I am constantly meeting people who create their own opportunities & discoveries by becoming people who think "yes, what if" or "yes, why not" instead of "eww, what if" or "no, never". What I find most interesting is that they never get what they originally set out to receive, they end up with much more and something so much better.

That is the beauty of following your dreams, you alway get more! ALWAYS! The key is not to give up, but understand the problem and seek an alternative way. If the key doesn't fit, get a tool kit and take the hinges off!

To everyone with a Dream... Dream BIGGER and continue to Push Forward!
Elle

Hm, I'm not much of a dreamer. I do things I want to do when I want to do them (for the most part). In any other case, a little more planning is necessary but I wouldn't call that dreaming. I set goals or have ideas and depending on how big/small they are I get right to it or get to preparing for it. If all fails, the individual ideas are being added to the bucket list and referred to at a later point in time when. But there is not much I have thought of and haven't done. *thinks* ... nope, can't think of anything. I never wanted to be a Ballerina, an Astronaut or something along those dreamy lines. Looks like I've always been too much of a realist.

But in the words of Travie McCoy: I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad ...
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

You ma'am are a dreamer.

A dreamer is someone who has ideas or goals. It usually starts with the words such as "I want", "I wish" or hmmm, yeah that would be nice. It's inevitable, we all dream, it's just as natural to dream as it is to breath. We may not all dream the same dream, it may not be the same size, the idea destination may be different or we may not ever categorize it as a "dream". BUT, there is something in this world we think by having will make us happier, and that is the beginning of a dream. What you do with it, is your choice. You can be someone at the end of your life who will have the pleasure of having nothing to regret or vice versa.

It's always your choice, thumbs up to you for being a lady of action.
Elle

Touché! Point well taken.

And you are right: my motto is "Absolutely no regrets!" and it is exactly the reason why I make sure to put ideas into action. My personal horror scenario would be to look at back at my life one day and ask myself "what if...".

BTW: Pushy Dreamers is awesome! Very encouraging and uplifting! Love it
http://thefabfoodie.wordpress.com thefabfoodie

You stepped on my toes a bit this morning!!!

Dreams and aspirations have been on my spirit for the last couple of weeks. I had the opportunity to visit Martha's Vineyard to support my boyfriend's film at their African-American Film festival, and the experience changed my entire perspective. It wasn't so much about the movies, it was about sharing space with people who are chasing their dreams and living creatively that opened my eyes to what I want to do.

I want to write.

Writing is my passion - it pushes me and challenges me to bring my thoughts to paper and share them with the world. My dream is to write full-time - to live my passion and have a career from it too. I started my website, Confessions about Food and Life, because I was tired of wasting my talent. My job uses about 1% of my available brain power, and I don't want to wake up one morning and not feel the exhiliration I get from writing, because I've let my talent waste away and die. I'm at a crossroads now where I know I hate my job and I want to quit, but I'm scared to step out there without knowing that I will financially be able to support myself.
bogart4017

Dreaming is fine but like Levi Stubbs used to say---you need to get up off of your knees and do something about it. The only way to accomplish anything is to MAKE it happen.
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

Speak your dreams, discover your worth and follow your heart! There is nothing worst than being so passionate about not giving it life.

Make it happen @thefabfoodie
http://www.nadiles.wordpress.com Nadirah

What if someone doesn't know what their dream/passion is?

I know that love writing but I don't know what I WANT. I don't know what my heart desires. I'm 24 years old and still don't know.

I feel the spark within me but it still hasn't begun to flame.

I'm in college pursuing a degree 'just to be safe' and that's all good but I never really knew what I wanted to do that would make me happy.

Everyone has dreams, I know.. but how do you findout what they are when you aren't sure?
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

That is ok!

I feel as long as you know what you like to do, you have a direction. This video is a prime example of that, he knew he wanted to write, he knew he wanted a place to share his words and look what happen... NakedWithSocks.com was born. This site wasn't his ideal intention, but because he did what he enjoyed, he allowed opportunities to enter his life.

Writing can take you anywhere, what you have to do, is tap into as many fields as you can and explore the areas you like or don't like. Let your dream lead you. So if writing is what you like... Write on!

And be patient about it, this is a journey about discovering you and most of all enjoy. If you give up, you will never know what more you are capable of doing or what this world has to offer.

http://www.RaevenWestern.com
Elle

I know the feeling. Which is why I said I am not a dreamer. There was never a passion my heart was beating for. Ok, I lied. There was, I made the dream come true and had to find out it wasn't all that. So there I was without a dream, without a passion or an extraordinary talent.

I had the "just in case" degree you are talking about too. But was it my dream? Nah. Did it allow me to do something I am passionate about? Nope. But I wasn't passionate about anything to begin with. So what now?

Based on Raeven Western's response to my initial comment you may have to look at the small things that make you happy as your dreams. For example, travelling makes me happy and I plan to see as much of this planet as I can. This surely ain't a career-related dream like you may refer to but it is motivation enough for me to make it happen. I do what makes me happy and I must say I feel fullfilled. More so than I ever did before when I would stress myself in search of a passion or a talent.

Don't worry if you do not have the dream to safe the planet, to cure AIDS or to fly to Mars. I used to feel useless and boring because I didn't have any of these "cliché passions".
It sounds selfish but now I am my own biggest dream or passion. I want to do what Elle wants to do. And if that is travelling, trying out as many different restaurants as possible, exploring the different art scenes, helping animal rescue organisations etc. so be
it.

So what is that makes you the happiest? Which thought makes you smile? I am 100% you have an answer to that.
http://www.nadiles.wordpress.com Nadirah

Wow. I never thought of it that way before.

I always thought that I had to fulfill this need, this hunger that I feel in the pit of my stomach whenever the thought 'What do you want' or 'What's your passion?' came about.

It seems like a question that can't be answered for me.

I love doing lots of things. I looove doing new things, traveling to new and exciting places, I absolutely love talking to people and understanding and helping them, I like to see people happy, and I enjoy writing a great deal.
http://www.nadiles.wordpress.com Nadirah

Oh.. and just like.. I have the need to be successful! Lol
Amber

I have always been a goal setter. There have been things that I wanted to do since a very young age (work with the Deaf community and to be an interpreter) that I have already accomplished (BA in Interpreting) and am currently working on (MA in Counseling-May 2011) but what I am finding so difficult is accomplishing my dreams while in a budding serious relationship (8 mon but its on the serious track). How do I get what I want (moving to another city or possibly going back to school for midwifery or both) and have a partner who may not see my dreams or my drive to do it. My internal passion is always to be happy 100 percent.
I have gotten more education than I've ever imagined, I've traveled, and I want to start and share my life with someone else. Everything is great in the relationship but it may put a halt on my very focused life. I don't want my dreams to be stifled...
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

Elle is correct! But there is nothing selfish about doing something that makes you happy.

Don't over defining what a dream is. Dreams are not about saving the planet, it's about doing what makes you happy. Elle nor I can define what that is for you or others, but we can motivate and encourage people to follow what that may mean for them, which is what pushydreamers is about and which is how I found out what I more I can do with what I enjoy doing; which is pushing dreams

Nadirah, you as a person, owe it to yourself to classify your own life and explore your own beliefs and don't be afraid to challenge what others say or what you think to see its truth.

Just like video, NakedWithSocks.com was created based on exploring his likes, which was writing. He had no passion to create a website, but in discovery of exploring what he likes, this idea was born. Had he never, none of us would be able to have had this conversation.

Through my discoveries of studying others as well as myself, I have learn we are much more capable of doing we think we can and there is so much more this world has to offer than what we see. Don't become a nay sayer with your thoughts and create your own opportunities, any person that says you can't, it's impossible or stears you away from your happiness, gave up too soon or never tried.

Also, Nadirah I am always looking for writers on pushydreamers, visit the site and contact me there, if you are interested in exploring your likes.
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

Then don't stifle your dreams. I'm no relationship expert, but you answered all your questions in your post. Your partner should be someone who encourages you, wants the best for you and pushes you toward what you want, and not keep you away from it. We all have to make sacrifices, yes and it is always going to be your choice, just make sure the choice you choose is worth it.

We have a closed minded idea of what love is. Real love does not an act of selfishness, and for me I would want the best for my partner, because I would want to be in an environment where his heart is most happiest. That applies, near and far.

Best wishes and choices Amber!
Preach the comedian

My dream is comedy and I've been doing for a few years...your dream is what u would do for no money...comedy takes awhile to make it but you just do it ...dreams are our way of not going insane in this mundane world.... The graveyard is full of ideas ,songs , and lost art...
My fear is to wake up tomorrow and be 40 not having at least tried...
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

You sir, please contact me, I would love for you to write a post on pushydreamers elaborating more on what you just wrote!
http://www.gangstarrgirl.com GangStarr Girl

Good interview. You looked cute. But um, you didn't give me my props for sending you the remix vid of the little girl. *side eye*
http://thefabfoodie.wordpress.com thefabfoodie

I've spoken my dreams and I know my worth. At one point I got tired of seeing what other people were doing and saying, "I can do that!" and actually did it. I've been writing and posting continuously since April, and I've been getting some really good feedback. My desire is to take it to the next level - upgrade my site, challenge my writing style by adding some new features. I know my vision - I'm excited to execute it. I think my biggest hindrance is listening to other people refer to it as a "hobby". This is SO much more than a hobby for me.
da ThRONe

I have dreams but they are a secret!
R.e.D

What are your ultimate dreams and aspirations?
To open a diabetes clinic for ppl that cannot afford proper care in my home country.
For my parents to be able to go in the store and buy whatever they want without looking at the tag.

What are you doing to make those goals come to fruition?
I've done a lot so far and I am still doing...

Are you a procrastinator?
We all do this to a point, but this is not something that I do regularly.

Have you ever been doubted?
Not sure, but most likely. I don't pay other folks much mind, I just do my work.

What are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish your dreams?
I've already sacrificed too much to even go into. Latest sacrifice is social life....home on Friday night bc i can't go in the city b/c there is a high probability I will be called to work at 1 am.

What three things do you think people need to do to stay on track with their dreams?
Don't have 3 points, just one:
A good friend of mine sent me a gift which was a plaque that said "If better is possible, good is not enough." This is my mantra. It just makes me want to do the best that I can do every single day I go to work. This may mean more hours,more fatigue, less free time etc, but at the end of the day, I know that I did my best. I have long term goals and short term goals, but each day I just take one step at a time.

What did you think of my advice and tips:
It was on point. Loved the impromptu-ness (this is not a word, lol) of it all.
I try to figure out what it is that I like about this blog so much as in comparison to others and I realize what it is. There is this sense of humility about you. In your writing, I never get the sense that you are some know-it-all. You are always willing to learn something or see someone else's point, even though you are firm in your views. It is this quiet confidence that does not come off as arrogance, b/c in 'Sockville' we all have a voice and are heard. I am just talking about NWSO the writer, I don't know the actual person. The only time I get an arrogant/cocky vibe is when you speak or write about sex, but I suspect this is what erotic writing is all about. That's my 2-cents for now. Have a good wkend. I voted already!
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

Aww, thanx R.E.D.

Much appreciated
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

Hey, that's what college is for. I wanted to be a rapper (not really though) but I knew that was unlikely so I went to school and along the way taking all those elective and pre-req classes I discovered writing. Still, when I graduated I had no idea what I was actually going to do. I applied to record labels, radio stations, magazines, just anything in my field (media studies). One magazine happened to call me in and two years later I was head of a department as an editor. So truthfully I fell into writing, if a label or radio station had called me I may have been something totally different.

As Elle and other said you can find something that makes you happy and go from there. There are grown folks that have no clue of what they want to do so don't think you have to at 24.
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

Yes, @GangStarrGirl hipped me to the remix video. I didn't get to peep it till last night right before this post went up. So forgive me for the lack of prop giving upness. Lol.
QuoteMan

There’s something to be said about a person who knows his/her goals in life. To me, that’s the difference between those who are living and those who are existing. Cuz a life without a goal is a life without a destination, and IMO that sucks.

I dare say a belief starts early; so does doubt. This may sound cliché, but truly, I remain steadfast in the belief that all possibilities exist in the realm of the mind. However, one has to believe wholeheartedly that he/she is capable of such; one has to see himself/herself becoming that goal. This serves as motivation.
Many a time, goals fizzle out within a short period because of its ambiguity. When you set your goals, you’ve to be clear on the end results; if you’re vague about it, so will the direction. And it’s highly unlikely to reach any destination when the direction is not clear. Furthermore, you’ve to consider all the obstacles that may impede progress.

This is how I’ve approached all my short-term goals. I’ve been working out for the past 4 years with a clear cut goal; once I achieved my ultimate goal, I shifted gears to my long-term goal which is to stay physically fit for as long as I live. Just for kicks, I wanna run the NYC marathon in a year or two.

As far as a career goes, I’m already living my dream. Ironically enough, in my field of business, building design and construction, we implement a similar strategy. Before a building is erected, we create drawings. In turn, we generate a rendering of the project from these drawings to enable us to visualize it – then we build. I believe so is life. You set your goal; you visualize it - then you achieve it. It’s imperative to visualize yourself in your goals, cuz it’d serve as a motivation.

As for naysayers, I’ll end with a quote by David Brinkley: a successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.

Anything is possible folks – anything; dream big.
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

well said QuoteMan, can you contact me via http://www.PushyDreamers.com please
R.e.D

Quoteman, I totally agree with this. Well written!

However, there are many people, with loads of ambition, but no set direction b/c they don't exactly know what they want. The people without one specific passion. It is difficult to see yourself as one particular thing when you are unsure as to what the thing is. Not in the sense that you doubt yourself, but in the sense that you may not know what ability you have-like the young lady, Nadirah. I guess like NWSO said that's what college is for.
I knew my goal in life at 14 was to be a doc, so my whole adult life was spent doing just that. However, for most folks, it just isn't that clear cut. Anyway, good motivational comment. You and Elle and R. Western.
QuoteMan

Fair enough, some realizes it earlier than others do; better late than never. However, I’ll say this, we as humans can be good at many things but great at one thing. As long as a person remains determined, in due time his/her true calling will out. Then you can set out to achieve your dreams; I firmly believe that without goals in this world, one only exists.

JFK sums it up best: efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.
QuoteMan

Dang, you’re recruiting the entire sockheads. J/k. I’ll reach out.

On a lighter note, I’m turning 29 in less than 6 hrs; though I’m excited, I’m also a bit apprehensive about being a year shy of 30; dang! I’m getting old
Shannon

It's not about limiting oneself in life and not going after dreams. It has to do with being realistic about your abilities. Sure, being a mega superstar is a formidable dream, singing and dancing all over the world, but how are you going to achieve that dream if your voice sounds like two dogs being run over by a truck and you dance like you have two left feet?

My sister will never be a ballerina at her present size. My brother will never put out an album because he can't sing and he knows it. My mother can't cook to save her life. My point was we are all achieving our dreams, but we are realistic about what we are capable of. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, but at least be honest with yourself about what you can do. I know I will never be a doctor and that's okay; being a nurse is a new dream. My daughter won't be a cheerleader because she can't tumble or do the splits. Some things can't be learned; you either have talent or you don't. It's just about being realistic; reality is often the best dose of medicine.
sunshyne84

That's exactly how I felt everyday at work and why I went back to school.
http://www.RaevenWestern.com Raeven Western

lol, I am! Plus it would defeat the purpose of creating your own opportunities, which is something I like to say often.

Happy Belated Birthday QuoteMan, I hope you enjoyed your day I look forward to hearing from you and having you as a guest post on http://www.PushyDreamer.com