WORDS BY TAZZ DADDY
I hope this letter finds you well. While I’m not an artist, I am a writer. So I thought I would take this time to let you know things that I feel every Black woman should know about Black men.
PLEASE NOTE: The views expressed below are those of @TazzDaddy and not those of your friendly neighborhood blogger NWSO.
1. We don’t think that every Black woman is a “bitch,” but we damn sure know the difference between a “bitch” and a “lady.”
It would behoove women to conduct themselves in a positive manner. Men don’t have time for a lot of slick talking and unnecessary debate. Next…
2. Your job doesn’t mean anything to us and neither does your title.
When men choose a mate, we’re more concerned with how she acts, and if she’s able to carry on a stimulating intellectual conversation about various subjects. I’m not going to say that we don’t care what you look like physically, because that would be lying. Men definitely care about how a woman looks; we’re just not as obsessed with it as you think we are.
3. We can’t stand your hair weaves!
We can’t touch your hair, let alone pull on it during sex for fear of “messing it up.” So many women start off the week with long beautiful hair, and by the end of next week there’s some brand-new hair sewn in. This totally baffles me and makes most men feel like you’re never satisfied with your image. When it comes to choosing a mate we don’t want an indecisive, self-conscious woman. And we all know you don’t want an indecisive self-conscious man!
4. We don’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriends/husbands and how horrible they were to you.
We are not responsible for their mistakes, nor will we sit around and pay for them. If you have not given yourself enough time to get over your ex, do us a favor and seek psychological help before entering into a relationship with us. Thanks, management.
5. No respectable Black man respects Steve Harvey’s opinion on women.
This man is a professional comedian who’s backed by Oprah Winfrey. How can you take advice on relationships from man who tells jokes for a living and a woman who can’t commit to a man she’s been with for over 20 years? That’s as asinine as me, someone who’s not skinny, giving diet tips!
6. We know the difference between a wife and a jump-off.
We don’t need to hear you tell us how much of a “good woman” you are. That will be evidenced by the way that you carry yourself. Moving right along…
7. It’s true; all men are dogs!
What most women fail to realize is that all dogs have different pedigrees. It’s up to you to determine the difference between the poodles, the mongrels, the German shepherds, and the rabid pit bulls. Depending on the pedigree, some dogs are loyal and some dogs are wayward. The latter you should never touch because you could catch something like rabies!
8. We want a woman who’s going to be willing to submit to us.
Where women mess up is by thinking that men want a slave or a maid. A man who is bringing his A-game desires a cheerleader from the sidelines who can double as an assistant coach. We also want someone who can play wide receiver, as well as understand that there is only room for one quarterback. In layman’s terms, we don’t want you behind us, we want you beside us. We need women who are able to support our dreams and our vision without all of the nagging and jaw jacking that tends to come with some sistas.
9. Your girlfriends have absolutely no business in our relationship/marriage!
A lot of today’s modern women feel like they need someone to cosign every decision they make in their relationship/marriage. This annoys the living daylights out of every Black man I know, including myself. That goes double for your male “best friend.” This guy either wants to sleep with you (and you’re unaware of it) or he already has in the past. Either way, he DAMN SURE doesn’t need to know what’s going on in our relationship/marriage!
10. Sex and children are not weapons!
If you manipulate a man by using sex and children, you will eventually find yourself by yourself! Or, there’s the alternative: you find yourself with a man who truly doesn’t want to be with you but has no choice because he wants to see his child. When it comes to sex, it can only hold a weak man hostage. Strong men who have their lives together understand that they have many options. Some of which, are better options than you are.? #RealTalk
11. Mind games never work!
Even if a woman manages to manipulate a man, sooner or later he’ll become aware of her manipulation and he’ll resent her for it. Thinking that you’re slicker than a can of oil only leads to you slipping up. Men respect women who can be open and honest with them. After all, isn’t that what you want in a man?
12. Don’t go through our phones/computers/cars without our permission.
When a woman chooses to become a private detective in her relationship/marriage, she’s telling her man/husband that she doesn’t have any trust in him at all! Once the trust is broken, you have nothing left to stand on in your relationship. You’re not Sherlock Holmes, you are not Nancy Drew, and you damn sure aren’t Joey Greco from the TV show Cheaters. If you have questions and concerns, open your mouth and address him like an adult. If you can’t do this, and you feel the need to snoop, you might as well leave the relationship.
13. If you have one or more friends who are a slut, most men will tend to believe that you’re probably one as well.
While that sounds particularly harsh, it’s how most men’s brains are wired. Even if you’re not a slut or a whore, why would you condone the behavior of your “friend” who acts like one? That makes as much sense as a man who has a friend that doesn’t take care of his children or cheats on his wife. If you’re a woman with even the smallest ounce of self-respect, you’d question us about the company we keep the same way that we’d question you if you had a friend who was as open as a Waffle House in the middle of Georgia.
14. Don’t listen to the media!
As a broadcast professional of over 20 years, I can assure you that when information is put out about Black men and women, it is done for one purpose and one purpose alone: ratings! The media is in the business of ratings, revenue and entertainment. That doesn’t include serving the Black community and Black women in a way that will uplift and empower them. Black men are not all gay or on the “down low.” Black men are not all in jail/prison! There are plenty of us who are educated, eligible, hard working and who are willing to love you unconditionally if given the chance. You have to be willing to come to the realization that your “knight in shining armor” may come in the form of a plumber, mail carrier, or small business owner. If you spend your life waiting on the float with Mr. Universe on it, you’re going to miss the entire parade!
15. Stop using Beyoncé as a life coach!
In recent years, Beyoncé, along with several other R&B artists, have made these “women’s empowerment anthems” that have led women to believe that they can throw us “to the left, to the left.” Contrary to public opinion and prior belief, if you “bust the windows out of a men’s car,” we’re going to press charges against you. If you spend your time looking for a “sponsor,” and honestly believe that, “if we liked it then we should’ve put a ring on it,” you truly don’t understand what we’re all about! To us when we hear a woman say that she wants a “sponsor,” we hear that she’s trying to use her vagina and good looks for money. Believe it or not, most men don’t want a prostitute. Also, when we love you, that’s when we’ll “put a ring on it” and not a minute before we’re ready! Finally, Beyoncé may talk a good game on records and in videos, but what most women fail to realize is that she’s a very happily married woman! She’s also the same woman who wrote “Cater to You,” but for some strange reason women don’t run around quoting that one.
Ladies, these views are my personal take on things that my friends and I have always had issues with when it comes to Black women. I hope you take this letter in the spirit of honesty, and not turn it into an attack on all Black Women. You’re loved, honored, and respected, but like some Black men, some of you need to get it together.
What did you think of Tazz Daddy’s views? Were they on point or way off base? Do women care more about what their mate does for a living than men? Do you ever find yourself comparing your ex to your current or has that happened to you? Are women to quick to believe the hype of advice books by folks like Steve Harvey? Do you think all men are dogs? Are you willing to submit to your partner? Are you guilty of involving your friends in your relationship? Has Beyoncé led women astray?
Speak your piece…