10 Things Every Bachelor Should Have in His Pad
Call me weird but I don’t like hot beverages. I’ve ever drank coffee a day in my life and I have to be on death’s door to drink tea. Even still, I always have a couple boxes of tea on stash in the crib because women like it. It’s good for soothing any cramps and when they're feeling under the weather. Again, the happier and more comfortable she is the better shot you have at seeing her birthday suit.
Advil, Aleve, Tylenol… Whatever. Women seem to pop these things like candy. The last thing any man that’s managed to get a woman to his crib wants is for her to be in a cranky mood. Whether it’s to sooth a headache or some impending cramps, I suggest fellas keep aspirin on stash in abundance. While guys might rely on Tylenol, I’ve found that most women prefer Aleve and Advil so that’s why both are in my medicine cabinet.
Women seem to always be cold (my theory: it’s due to their period) and the aim of the game here is to keep her warm and comfortable—just make sure the blanket is clean, fellas—because a cold woman will never be a naked woman. My old spot was an icebox in the winter so I had the space heater ready for whenever a lady visitor was over. While I was cool with sleeping in sweats and hoodie that's not proper sexy time attire. I like to admire the full female body in the buff so take them socks off, ladies. On the flip side of that, you have to keep them cool in the winter so an AC is a must if you’re trying to get it on. If you CLICK HERE you’ll recall how many women balked at the idea of AC-less sex in the summer.
Sounds simple enough but unlike women, most men don’t use toilet paper every day—or at least not as much. I don’t know if women make paper planes in the bathroom but it seems like my 1,000-sheet rolls go a lot faster when I have female company. Matter fact, one of those jumbo packs of Scott from Costco can last a single guy two whole years. Oh, and make sure you have real soap and not some sliver of what used to be a full bar perpetrating as something someone should use to wash their hands. Toss that thing in the trash and then empty it out ASAP because you don’t need any evidence of the last chick that was in your crib.
We all get morning breath so in case you're looking for some one-more-for-the-road action and just off GP it's good to have a spare toothbrush on deck for your overnight guests. Plus, makes a good parting gift, ’cause unless you're my girl there's no reason you need to have a full-time toothbrush taking up space in my bathroom. If you don't take it it's going in the trash as soon as you leave. I repeat, no evidence of the last chick allowed.
Does being comfortable at someone’s home make you more likely to stay over? Have you ever turned down sex because of someone’s apartment? Have you ever fallen for the “let’s have a drink” technique? If so, did you use the liquor as an excuse for having sex or did you want to anyway? Have you ever had to sleep in the wet spot? Do you hate going over to someone’s house and they have nothing to eat or drink in the fridge? Why are women always so damn cold? What the hell are women doing in the bathroom that they finish toilet paper so fast? What must-have items do you need to have in your crib for company of the opposite sex?
Speak your piece…
BONUS: Radio interview with NWSO discussing this blog post and the bachelorette version.
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