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6 Things That Look Sexy in Movies But Aren’t in Real Life

Posted by NWSO • December 19, 2010 • Printer-friendly

I’ve never been a fan of movies with happy endings. I’m perfectly fine with a conclusion that includes the bad guy getting away Scott free and the good guy reaching an unexpected ending. It’s just more realistic to me, because real life doesn’t get wrapped up in a neat package with a tidy little bow on top.

I know movies are just escapes from reality that give us a chance to forget about our own troubles, but sometimes people confuse the fairytale endings they see on screen with what actually happens to regular folks like you and me. The same happens with all these elaborate sex scenes. Just because you saw DMX put it down on Taral Hicks straight out the shower in Belly doesn’t mean you’ll have the same epic results should you try to recreate the scene. Well, results may vary based on your sexual skill set, but I digress…

Here are 6 Things That Look Sexy in Movies But Aren’t in Real Life.

FOOD IN THE BEDROOM
Sure, licking sweet sauces and whip cream off your lover sounds like a sensual delight but this is one classic movie cliché that looks way better on screen than it does in practice. Personally, I’ve only used chocolate sauce for a deviant dessert back in college but it made for a real sticky situation and odd-colored stains on my sheets. If you’re not careful with this one you could wind up with ants in your bed when what the ladies really want is Ans between their sheets.

SEX ON THE BEACH
I was close to testing this one out during one epic Caribbean vacation, but a hotel security guard kept patrolling the beach so me and my lady friend retreated to her hotel room to seal the deal. But from what I’ve heard other than having an even better story to tell, having sex on the beach wouldn’t have lived up to the hype. Sand already has a tendency to get everywhere and let’s just say there are certain places I don’t want those pesky pebbles to go either.

SEX & WATER (POOL, SHOWER, RAIN)
While sex in the rain is still one of my fantasies, if it’s anything like sex in the shower then I might not be missing much. From my experience sharing a shower with your lover is nice in theory but someone always gets stuck in the cold spot. If you actually wind up having sex you’re kind of limited on the positions you can pull off and surprisingly the water tends to dry out my condom (or maybe that’s just me.) Either way I won’t turn down a literal Wet Wednesdays episode but I’d much rather get my groove on somewhere my feet are firmly planted on solid ground.

SMOKING
This is another movie cliché that’s supposed to make someone look sexy, but truthfully nothing turns me off more than a woman that smokes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a woman that caught my eye but immediately lost my interest as soon as I saw her taking a long pull of a cancer stick. I’m sorry, the thought of tasting nicotine on a woman’s mouth makes me want to hurl. I don’t care how many times you brush your teeth I can still taste it so I’ll stick to the non-smoking section—and women.

MÉNAGE TROIS
I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing a threesome… Well, there was that orgy I was almost a part of (CLICK HERE) but that doesn’t count. Still, while a ménage is supposed to be every man’s fantasy I don’t really get how that’s supposed to work. I always feel like someone’s going to get left out of the equation at some point and this can’t be something you’d do with a woman you actually care about (definitely not your wife). In the event that you do have a threesome while in a relationship, chances are someone’s going to get jealous and the potential headache just sounds like it’s not worth it in the end. See She Hate Me.

SEX IN A CAR
I’ve gotten head in a car and have finger f*cked in one, but never went the whole way. Despite what LL said about swingin’ an episode in the backseat of his jeep I’ve never been interested in automotive erotics. Yeah, the foggy window scenes look good in movies, but I’d prefer a little bit more room to get it in. Besides I’m way too old to be getting arrested for indecent exposure for trying to get my rocks off in some dark alley.

Have you ever tried to recreate any of the above movie sex scenes/acts? If so, where they all that they were cracked up to be? Do you agree that most of these things are sexier on screen than they are in real life? Do you have a problem with bringing food into the bedroom? Does sand really get everywhere when you get down on the beach? Are you turned off my smokers? Would you advice someone having a ménage trios with someone they actually cared about? When is too old to have sex in a car? What would you add or take off this list?

Speak your piece…

ONLY 2 DAYS UNTIL NWSO’S BDAY BASH/HOLIDAY PARTY

Looking forward to seeing all you Sock Heads at NWSO’s annual birthday bash/holiday party. I got a lot to celebrate this year so the place to be this Wednesday, December 22 is at La Pomme, which is located at 37 W. 26th Street (Bet 6th & Broadway). Doors open @5pm & close @ 11pm. After work happy hour for the early birds 5-6pm; $6 drink specials. Dress code: Business casual. Music provided by DJs Kaos and Norie of Power 105.1, who will be rockin' until it's lights out. No list, no cover, just come out and celebrate with your favorite blogger. See the flyer below, designed by yours truly!

Tagged as: Belly, DMX, Sex Scene, shower, Taral Hicks

Amber

The sex in the car thing was only cool when I was a teenager, but that was mainly because my Alero was my only available rendezvous point. I still have the occasional end of the date, you're not coming in, but lemme give you something to think about make out session in a car. That's as far as my potential voyeuristic goes these days.
grownandsexy83

Let's see...Food in the bedroom has always sounded like fun but a bit messy; Sex on the beach sounds painful, I feel you on the sand stuff; Sex in the pool/shower/rain, yeah I tried in the pool, its not all that but you are more flexible underwater, lol; Smoking is the most disgusting thing and a definite turn-off; threesomes aren't my thing, besides I am selfish when it comes to sex; Sex in the car can prove to be difficult but its very entertaining to see what positions you can come up with!
Luv.Lee

"...I don’t really get how that’s supposed to work. I always feel like someone’s going to get left out of the equation at some point..."
EXACTLY. That's always what I've thought.
So I've been in four out of those six scenarios, but they haven't been all that bad. The car and the shower have been pluses in my book.
But you're right, movies tend to make some things sexier than they are in real life.
TC

U always gotta stick The Smoking Section!
Simplyhazelnut

As far as sex in the shower, you have to make sure it's sealed off so no one gets cold. It also helps to have a shower head thats comes off, and guys forget trying to be fancy and pic ya girl up, the shower is always a slippery slope. So for success and hot sex ladies don't be scared to touch your toes and work your hips, guys hold on for the ride, also with the shower head in your hand you can control where the waters goes.

For the threesome, I've had one and you just have to be creative, sex is more than plunging the hole. Lol All parties must be comfortable as well. If you find yourself the odd on out, maturbate and watch. You have live porn and those in the act may just get off on watiching you pleasure yourself.
Enid Wilson

No food, no beach, no smoking and no threesome. But I do love a steamy bath. It's relaxing and great fun.

Fire and Cross
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

LOLz
Miss Sia

Having done several of these cliches, no I wont say which ones except: It was fun for me. You live and you learn. Everyone has fantasies and preferences, so if you communicate with the other person you just might save yourself from an argument or otherwise embarrassing situations.
Danielle

Menage trios are the BEST if you know the rules. Everyone has to be involved no matter the combination. If you're not really into to it, that's when someone gets left out.

Beach/Sand: salt water dries me up. Sand feels only good underneath me feet.

Smoking only sexy in the movies.

In a car: only when I want to feel like a dirty girl lol.
Distinguished Gentlewoman

Have you ever tried to recreate any of the above movie sex scenes/acts?
Sex in the car (would have been interesting if the homeless man didn't come up to the foggy window for a look-see)

food in the bedroom (fun, fun, fun—chocolate, peppermint, ice, ice cream, honey, strawberries, oranges...)

sex in water (loved my many shower scenes, never felt limited. We just worked with what we had.)

I'm with u on the smoking thing. One of the BIGGEST turn-offs. Yuck!

Ménage à trios A friend and I were talking about this just the other night. This is one of my ultimate fantasies. But you're right, Naked, I would NEVER do this while in a committed relationship. Could get sticky.

What would you add or take off this list?
Park, roof, staircase.
Distinguished Gentlewoman

What would you add or take off this list?
Workplace.
http://wwwinmycomfortzone.blogspot.com/ Southern Poise

Interesting, I know not everything in the movies is the same in real life. Shower scene can be challenging. However, I did have a great shower scene moment in an oversized, high Victorian ceiling length shower, with a high shower head, in a grand hotel establishment once. Was quite the scene, very enjoyable. Not all have been that spectacular. But that was one for the books. And the car scene, I agree can be very uncomfortable. In my youth, sometimes was the only place you could get it in, so you made do. Food can be very sticky. Ever tried honey?? Yeah, very sticky..

"If you’re not careful with this one you could wind up with ants in your bed when what the ladies really want is Ans between their sheets."

hmmmmm....tickled pink.... lol
R.e.D

Nice list, #1 had me cracking up- at work...Never a good thing...

Just want to add :

All the time in the movies, the woman wakes up with make-up and no bad breath. Not real. I don't go to sleep in make-up so how can I wake up in it? And my breath is terrible in the morning...

And lastly, the deep morning kiss on T.V. For Heaven's sake, don't kiss me on my mouth if you haven't brushed your teeth. You see this in the movies all the time as if we wake up with winterfresh breath. Well maybe you folks do...
Tiff

Car- yup... fantastic, pulled over on the side of the e-way a couple of years ago with my then boyfriend.
Add the staircase I agree.
Tried to get it in the pool on vacay this summer but then I saw some mold and freaked out...yuck
Miss-E

I'm going to have to also give a thumbs up to shower sex. I think the trick is picking one with a lot of space.
http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com Nikki04

I have to agree (with other comments) to disagree with the shower one. I've had some excellent shower sex. What's not to love about soaping up your lover's body (omg one of my ex-GFs had the best breasts for this... *sigh*)?

One I'd add? 69. I always get distracted. Who was it that said it's like working on vacation? Yeah - I think it's like that.
ThaGoddess

Car? Had some good ones and some ok ones. Shower? CAN be fun, but water dries up/rinses off all lubrication (not just condoms). Not to mention, a bit dangerous! lol Beach? No sand, thank you. Gotta deck or something? lol No Food in bed please. Too messy, and I like to concentrate on one or the other. Ice is an exception. :p Menage? Never could get a good situation to jump off (me the only woman please.) And now it's too late. Very committed relationship, no interest in another dude, and I KNOW my man's not having it. So I'm at 'woulda been nice, but not a big deal'. Smoking? Well we both smoke, so it's not a big deal. If I quit and he continues, I love that man's dirty socks, so I don't care about smoke at this point.
bogart4017

When was sex on the beach ever popular?? Maybe when "From Here To Eternity" hit the theatres. Like 1953, right. Nothing like sand in your privates to ruin a moment.
TJ

LMBO. . . love it!
TJ

Car. . . that was the best spontaneous sex in my previous life, and it didn't hurt that the gentleman was my long-time love. I think we used to forget where we were. We even did it at the beach (in the car... teehee), but I must agree the idea of being on/in the sand was a no-no; as an adult, I enjoyed the shower with my guy of the perfect height and maneuvering skills ;-D Smoking has never been sexy to me and I'm too selfish to enjoy a menage a trois.
Lady_d_uval

Those (and the one below) should definitely be added to the list!
Lady_d_uval

I've experienced all of those, except for sex in the rain...but I just recently went natural so I'm hoping to add that to the list one day! Also, I don't smoke and I hate smoking! Ugh!

Food: wasn't always done in the bedroom, but that's where we ended up!

Beach: being a Floridian that lives approx. 30minutes from a beach, this is usual. My best experience was after one of my bday party! It was like sensory overload: sounds, and smell, of the ocean, seeing the stars, tasting my lover, and feeling his "touch"! But it did suck, having to ride home with sand all up in my cracks and crevices and in my freshly relaxed hair! It was well worth it, though!

Water: the shower is awesome! You don't really worry about the "cold spot" because you're usually too busy. That comes into play when you are actually using the shower to bathe. And then there was the hot tub...it wasn't bad.

Menagé: each experience was great! You do have to be a sexually confident person. You have to know the rules, and limitations, which should be discussed ahead of time if possible. It is very possible for all to be involved at the same time. In my situations, someone was only left out by choice. This should be done before marriage...afterwards, it can become volatile.

Car: more wonderful experiences until we almost got arrested! We just had to be smarter about where we parked! Lol

Someone mentioned adding the park, staircase, roof, and workplace. The park was ok. Mosquito bites on the ass is not cute! The staircase was kinda uncomfortable. The roof is not a big deal to me being a Floridian. The workplace was fun, though!

Hmmm, the kitchen, balcony, and while driving can be added as well...
http://www.anythingurban.typepad.com Ron Eldridge

Sex in a car is mad overrated - especially if you are 6'3" trying to wrestle up with boo in a Mitsubishi Colt hatchback. Yeah I know, not a good look at all, but I had no other option. It was actually cool until a nosy jogger passed by, wiped the foggy back window to peek in - and started jacking off right there. It was kinda hard to chase a cat down with my pants half way down. Oh, it was also very uncomfortable explaining to the officer WHY I was chasing down a jogger - with my pants half way down.

Sex on the beach?? I would agree, the drink is much better than the actual experience.

Great post Ans... this here is mos def Ans at his greatest.
Nana Ataa

Smokers? Complete Turn off.I feel the same way as Ans feels about smoking.
Water? Turn on, as long as it's not a golden shower.A shower/bath is really a good means to an end: start off there, then end up somewhere else, or end up there after all the sticky condiments/bodily fluids start flowing.
Beach? Folks who live in the tropics or by the beach know how to do it best. One of my fondest memories ever? Belize, the beach, in the rain. Pick up sand? Then take it to the water! Hate the sand? A friend of mine took her lover up to the lifeguard tower. Where ther is a will, there is a way. Don't need the movies to be creative.
Ameretta

Love the topic!!

My take on it:

I am a proud owner of a Jeep Cherokee and I tried to have a Back seat of my Jeep Swinging episodes. Uggghhhhhhhh it was so annoying,my leg fell asleep, the windows got super foggy, the jeep was rocking left to right and I couldn't get in a comfortable position if my sex life depended on it.

3 Somes: Sooooo overated. I'm going to say this. All three people have to be into each other physically for it to work. Plus it's just bad math! 2 holes , 1 pole = a lonely remainder

Shower Lovin: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Although the only possible position is doggy, the sounds of the water squishing all around,the added moisture,add some soap to the females buttocks and it's slip and slide baby!!! Plus it's a easy cleanup afterwards!

Food in the Bedroom: Ugghhh an annoying mess! Plus I'm a female and I can not have anything sugary or sticky near my kitty kat! That equals another "Bakery" mess that will result in no sex for 7 days........

Sex on the Beach: I like the drink but I'll pass for the experience!

Whoooooo........I will be there on Wednesday ready to cut a rug!!
Ameretta

Oh My Gosh!!!

The Passerby decided to jerk off?!?!?......Question? Were you able to complete your Backseat task or did the intruder mess you up?
LaLa

Food in the Bedroom: Done that; a little too sticky for me but it was big fun while it was going on.

Sex & Water: Done it in the shower - yes, Lawwwwd, I'd do it again; pool works if you're in the shallow end (trust me. It WORKS).

Menage a Trois: Haven't done it but, dang, I'm considering it - I've had a lot of requests lately - from men, straight women, gay women... What is UP with that???

Sex in a car: Yop, yop - just need a big car and the willingness to do it doggy. I'm tall and so is he, and it was FAAAABULOUUUUUUUUS.

Sex on the Beach and Smoking? Ain't gonna happen. Puh'riod.
Corey

Water is too dry, save the food for after, and I HATE SAND!! Cars have been very good to me! I don't really care about smoke, unless its of the crack variety. I've never been able to pull off the threesome. I've dated several bi women and they always hit me with the bullsh!t line about how when they did it before they didn't care about that guy like they do me.
HER

Only done once but the staircase is a WIN!!
SHE

LMAO @ ..."unless its of the crack variety."
ATLs.Marc.of.Excellence

Food in the bedroom:
Honey and honey only. Goes nowhere NEAR anybody's crevice(s).
Belly, boobs, stomach, thighs, neck, legs... that's it.

Beach:
Hell no, never did it, don't plan on it. Don't need the main ingredient in glass messing up my groove or hers.

Shower:
Hell yes. Large shower, 1 glass wall, multiple shower heads, (I wore shower shoes to ensure my footing, LOL) Pool: No thanks, I'm good... Rain: Nah, don't wanna be shivering and sniffling while I'm working my magic.

Smoking:
I smoke (trying to quit), but I don't smoke in my house/car so it'll never happen during or immediately after coitus.

Menage:
Can't speak on it since I haven't done it (yet), but I agree with whoever said all parties gotta be physically feeling each other. Other than that, 2 holes + 3 more holes (with teeth, mind u)+ 1 pole + 30 fingers + 3 tongues (SHOULD)= everybody to busy doing something to somebody to be complaining, LOL (emphasis on that "should")

Car: I'm with Ans on this one...

Addition: Backyard picnic table in the middle of an off day/holiday, LOL
Older & Wiser

I've done four of the six (no smokers or threesomes). I enjoyed them all, no problems on the beach we used a beach towel! Hot tub, rain, shower, no pools. Sex in the car just for kicks, we reclined the seats and went for it! Tried food just not on the bed b/c of the reason you cited. Good times, good times, I sure do miss my late husband!
Mimi in the OC

Most are definitely sexier on scene than in real life but some do kinda work out. I especially agree on the "kiss in the morning", go brush your teeth or better have some mints handy.

- No food into the bedroom...
- Beach sex is overrated...Shower tends to "dry" things up I find
- I'm like you Ans, can taste the cigarette no matter how hard they brush their teeth...
- Have a ménage trois with someone you "don't care about" otherwise it's complicated... after
- Lol Had sex so many times in the car, cause we were both living at our parents' house and they were not having it... Great memories... Today probably not, he better have some kind of apartment or room or something...
- I would add "Sex on the (carpeted)floor of an empty apartment" (no furniture), when either you or him is in the process of moving in/out...
Mimi in the OC

- Yeah and add in the park at night on the grass hehe
SIMPLYHAZELNUT

I've done the workplace. It was the first time I felt the room shift, lol. awesome
CK

I agree on the add-ins Mimi in the OC mentioned. A's!
As for the others - food in the bedroom is definitely off-limits in my house, and sex in the car is way overrated if you're over 5 feet tall (I'm 5'9" and my guy is 5'11"). However, sex on the beach is VERY nice if you're on a warm, soft sand, sunny beach. Cold, pebbly beaches no way. Shower sex really depends on the shower you've got more than anything, lol. Those larger showers with grab bars are excellent!

I don't really like smokers, but I don't feel as strongly as you guys about it. And as for menage trois - I've had them (and foursomes with other couples) with my hunny and we're still together, going strong, and happy as ever. I think that one really depends on WHY you're having a threesome and what mindset you BOTH have going into it. If you're doing it for a fun adventure as a couple and you lay out your limits beforehand, it's just a personal choice you make together. If one of you just wants to get with the third person and thinks that's the way to do it without cheating, of course it's going to be a problem, LOL! (And we also had our sexcapades with people we were only mildly acquainted with and not any close friends, coworkers, or people we were going to see on a regular basis.)
CK

Oh yeah...and how come everybody's only talking about threesomes with two girls and one guy? Bit hypocritical, don't you think? As a good looking woman myself, I am not opposed to enjoying another good looking woman, but I prefer men. My guy and I had another male join us and it worked out just as well as when there were two girls...
carmool

The roof can be scary BE VERY CAREFUL!
carmool

I'm pretty tall an the men I date are usually taller so car sex has never been that awesomery for me
http://yourfavoritegoddess.blogspot.com/ The Goddess

Food in the bedroom was a big FAIL for me. All it got me was a huge chocolate stain in my carpet. So not fun or arousing.

Sex in the shower...eh. Could take it of leave it.

Sex on the beach....that was erotic and mind blowing. Fortunately I didn't get the sand in any unspeakable places thanks to the ginormous blanket. Only thing that could make that experience better is if it had been with my husband. Darn me for not waiting to be with the man I love to try that one.
Mimi in the OC

I can only speak for myself but it's just my preference, not hypocrisy.
I thought about 2 men and me, but the idea (at least in my mind) sounds overwhelming, intimidating, almost scary rather than appealing... In addition, dealing with 2 p**ises during one sex encounter sounds like a lot of work, anyway more than (I think) I can handle... But that's just me.
preachthecomedian

really... 2 women and 1 man is a threesome
2 dudes and 1 woman is a TRAIN
unless the dudes are rotating then u got a very homo erotic moment...

2 snaps
http://www.anythingurban.typepad.com Ron Eldridge

The intruder totally thru off the swag... had to rain check it with shorty.

Oh I should mention that all of this happen halfway up a mountain in Germany. them Germs are off the hook when they see Mandingo love.