People always want to know where can they meet “good” people. Sorry, this post is the complete opposite of that. The fact of the matter is there are good people around us practically everywhere we go, it’s just a matter of being aware and not letting silly red flags (i.e. I don’t like his shoes) skew your vision.
As much as I wish the random street “holla” would get replaced with legitimate conversation, it’s not going away any time soon. Actually, speaking when you see someone you find attractive isn’t that bad of a thing it’s really how and where you holla. So today I’m going to address the fellas on inappropriate places to “holla.” Ladies, if you agree feel free to chime in…
WHEN SHE’S IN THE GYM
If I know one thing about women it’s that they hate being approached when they don’t feel they’re looking their best, and being all sweaty after the gym or just wearing sweats on the way to the gym are usually one of those I-don’t-feel-sexy moments. However, if I know one thing about men it’s that when women are dressed down and alone that they’re the least “intimidating” to us. I for one find a (the right) woman in sweats sexy. Not only does it highlight her booty, if a woman can catch my eye dressed down she must have it going on even more when she’s dolled up. #ThinkAboutIt
Still, I wouldn’t recommend hollering at the gym, fellas. First of all (most) women are there to workout (others are there for a fashion show) so the last thing she needs is some fool trying to kick it while she’s on the treadmill. Secondly, like I said earlier, she’s probably in sweats or spandex and doesn’t feel her sexiest despite how good her booty looks to you. Thirdly, if her goods are on full display because of her skintight clothes and you’ve been ogling her while she was doing jumping jacks, she may feel you’re only after her body. All in all, the gym or pool is a very awkward place to holla because you’re both half-naked. I’d rather give a woman her space and try to catch her at the exit once her workout’s complete and the sweat glands aren’t working overtime.
WHEN SHE’S AT WORK
This goes for people who work together and for those trying to holla at someone while at their place of business. Sexual harassment cases are big deals these days and a lot of companies don’t play that. While some offices are like extended versions of high school, generally speaking, hitting on the new girl is a big no-no. Yeah, she’s cute but she’s also your co-worker. In the event that things don’t work out because you hardly know her now you’ve got an ex that hates you that you have to see every damn day. ThatsABadLook.com.
As for hollering at someone while they’re at work that can be tricky too. One, they’re there to provide customer service and might be getting paid commission so their friendliness might not actually mean they’re into you as much as they’re just trying to get the sale. Also, some bosses might frown upon their employees fraternizing with customers so you could potentially be getting them in trouble and ultimately costing them money. Also, if you’re flirting while there’s a bunch of people on line behind you, you either have a great audience for getting shot down or a bunch of angry people waiting to be served. Keep it short and sweet, slip her your number and keep it moving. If she’s feeling you she’ll call if not, oh well, I hope you really like your purchase.
WHEN SHE’S AT THE HOSPITAL/DR. OFFICE
Uhm, you’re both at a medical facility presumably to get something treated. A waiting room doesn’t sound like the sexiest place to be trying to holla. The million-dollar question in my mind is: What exactly is she here for? And she’s probably thinking the same thing. Besides that, if she’s there for a mysterious “rash” I doubt she’s thinking about going out on a date with you next weekend. Just like if I’m dealing with a 105 fever on New Years, the last thing I’m thinking about is hollerin’ at some chick.
Although once I started feeling better in the ER I did start scoping to see if there were any hot nurses running around. Sadly, there weren’t. Even if there were, though, hot nurses are off limits when you’re a patient. They have way too much access to your charts and medical history. Not that I have anything to hide, but I’d much rather have her focused on getting me better than digging all through my medical charts. I can always get another chick to dress up like a sexy nurse later.
WHEN SHE’S DRIVING
Seeing a hot girl the next car over is not like seeing a hot girl on the street. You just can’t stop her and try to spark a conversation. Y’all are both in control of two vehicles and probably have other cars behind you. Unless she’s trying to pull over, which I doubt, your chances of getting the number are slim to none. Also, turning down your music when you’re speaking would help, too. Oh, and please don’t follow her in your car that’s borderline stalkerish and a bad way to start off a relationship.
Now, if you’re driving and she’s on foot the whole “can I talk to you for a second” bit is a tad played out. Most women with class don’t make a habit of walking up to strange men’s car windows like a common streetwalker. Also, you should be keeping your eyes on the road and not every chick on the sidewalk because the last thing you or your game need is to run into a light pole when you’re trying to stunt for a chick. Good news, I just saved you a bunch of money on car insurance, playboy.
WHEN SHE’S WITH BOYFRIEND/ANOTHER MAN
I don’t care if a woman is with her brother or her priest, it’s the ultimate form of disrespect to approach a woman while she’s with another man. You have no clue of the dynamic between the two of them and you’re basically emasculating the other brother, regardless of whether or not he’s a suitor or not. I mean, even if a woman and I were truly just friends I’d still feel a way of some random dude just walked up and tried to kick game. Like, seriously, you don’t see me sitting/standing here, dude? How you know I’m not hitting this—or at least trying to hit?
A lot can be said for body language and you can make assumptions about the dynamic between a man and woman, but you never really know as an outsider looking in. If a woman that happens to be with another brother catches your eye and you feel the urge to holla, at the very least acknowledge the man first and ask if it’s his woman. If he says yes, simply compliment him on being a lucky man and keep it moving. If he says no, the gentlemanly thing to do would be to ask permission to engage her in conversation. Anything else would be uncivilized.
WHEN SHE’S IN THE COLD
There’s a time and place for everything and the cold is never the spot for hollerin’. Just like my list of the 10 things every bachelor should have in his pad it’s all about being comfortable when engaging a woman for the first time. So having her stand out in the cold while you try to spit game doesn’t cut it. If you happen to see an attractive woman during the heart of winter chances are she’s focused on getting from point A to B as fast as possible.
It doesn’t matter how cute you think you are she’s not trying to freeze her butt off for some random dude on the snow-lined streets. If you’re skilled enough to grab her attention in the cold why not try to dip into a nearby store or something to continue the conversation, she more likely to warm up to you when she’s actually warm as opposed to freezing to the point her nose turns red like Rudolph.
Do you go to the gym to look cute or to actually workout? Do you feel self-conscious in your workout clothes? Do you think it’s a good idea to flirt with someone you work with or while someone is at their job? Do you think it’s tacky for a woman to talk to a guy through a car window? Would you feel disrespected if someone trued to kick it to a friend of the opposite sex right in front of you? What’s the worst place someone has tried to holla at you? Are there certain places or times that you never want someone to approach you? What would you add to the list?
Speak your piece…