10 Reasons Why Men Won’t Date You – #Undateable

0 Posted by - January 19, 2011 - Guest Socks, Relationships, Love & Marriage


Alright, ladies, it’s time for some tough love. It seems that some of you would rather tell a soft lie than a hard truth. That truth being that there are quite a few habits/personality traits that are keeping you from having a man.

This post is not to make fun or berate you all. It’s merely to help you recognize the annoying shit you do that causes men’s penises to shrink, what NWSO cause “erection repellent. *NOTE* Every rule has an exception and what annoys one man (or woman) may not apply to the next. *NOTE NOTE* Just because the rule has an exception doesn’t mean it’s a free pass either. You know who I’m talking to :-/


Stop wanting to know so much so soon. Trust us all falsehoods will be discovered soon enough. Until then relax, relate, release…


I don’t care if you served in Iraq and he saved your life. I do NOT trust any man claiming to just being “friends” with a woman, especially one I’m interested in. Men don’t make friends on purpose after the age of 13. I got my eye on him…


I love the fact you’re close to your family. I love that you and your parents are friends… BUT you are a grown ass woman. You should make the decisions for you not them. Tell Aunt Rachel I said what up. though.


You work hard so you should play hard—I get that—but why the hell are you partying all the time? Do I look like Eddie Murphy? Stay home some damn time. Let the bartender miss you. When club promoters and doormen/security know you by name and you don’t own the club that’s a sign that you need to sit down somewhere—and not at the bar.


There’s a difference between a poke on Facebook and a poke in person. Chill out. I can’t control what someone puts on my page. While you’re at it, stop checking my page three times a day. Actually, if you got that much time on your hands then something’s wrong.


You’re looking for a 2Pac with a degree from Yale? Stop wanting the type of man that does not exist. Soap operas and Zane novels have rotted the common sense part of your brain. Real thugs are not real good love matches. Don’t be the bitter old woman mad that you let three nice Larry’s go for a crazy ass Darnell.


So your ex punched you in your left eye every Tuesday for two years..and you stayed. But if I’m late picking you up from work maybe three times and you’re ready to break up. Stop treating the good guy the way you should have treated the bad guy.


Yes, I’m a gentleman with a kind heart. Yes, I believe in treating a woman the way a man should treat his mother. Now, with that being said, could you at least offer to pay a few times. Chances are I won’t let you but can I just get some semblance of appreciation of the funding of the date.


If you were friends with a lot of men on the football, basketball, or track team in school (or now) keep that to yourself. Most men don’t like women with a lot of male friends, which is more so if they played sports. Not to group you all together but, honestly, as an outsider the females that hung around or knew the team were groupies. So if you have a funny story about letting your football buddies bench press you in college, keep it to yourself


Every argument does not need to explode into Wrestlemania. Men respond to yelling from other men by getting physical. We can’t do that with a woman so we tend to just tune y’all out. Talking to us like an adult instead of a child will go far. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.

So ladies there you have it a small list of what really bugs the piss out of us men. If you can work on these things I absolutely promise you may one day possibly have (or not have) a man. So please digest the list and pass it on.

Are you leery of dating someone that has a lot of friends of the opposite sex? Could you date someone with relatives that were too involved in your relationship? Is it a turn-off when someone hits the club every night? Do you stalk the people you’re seeing on Facebook? Would you be upset if someone questioned you about things on your page? Why don’t women ever want to at least offer to contribute to the date? What did you think of Preach’s guest post?

Speak your piece…

  • Rachel J

    Hi honey (aunt rachel reference) buuuut I’m going to need one more reason… lol Numbers 2 and 9 were a too similar. But I can see how any of those can be annoying. Except I don’t speak Dutch… lol…

  • http://strokeofprose.com Kaye Michele

    Word. Up.


  • Preachthecomedian

    Yoi don’t speak Dutch at all?
    ok I see you

  • Lyndon

    “I don’t care if you served in Iraq and he saved your life. I do NOT trust any man claiming to just being “friends” with a woman, especially one I’m interested in. Men don’t make friends on purpose after the age of 13.”


    I with you 100 on this. The ironic part is most women can’t take it if the tables are turned, but expect brothas to understand. Especially if the woman we consider a “friend” is fine. Although I know why women use men as friends, it still won’t fly.

  • http://thecandyshoppe.wordpress.com Ronnie6676

    Amen and amen to the facebook stalking. Why oh why do you need to have knowledge of my every social networking movement?? And if you feel that you do then we are not compatible in any life.

    Oh and I like that practically your whole list is transferable to the male of this species :)

  • JC

    It is 2011…and since 1998 I have been a DUTCH girl. Why? Because I just don’t see the sense in having the man pay all the time. IF the guy is to be thought of as my friend, this is one aspect of our friendship that is going to mirror what I have with my girlfriends…we pay dutch. Unless it is a special occasion…birthday, celebrating a promotion.

    The guy I’m sleeping with wanted to be FB friends. The moment the words came out of his mouth “I want to you friend me” I cringed inside. We aren’t in each other’s lives like that for me to feel comfortable him seeing what is on my page. Plus I didn’t want to see what is on his page and get pissed. So I said no. I really don’t think you need to be friends with someone your seeing on FB. If you have mutual friends “maybe” but I like my relationship to have some space.

    I have male friends from high school or co workers. The guy I’m sexing will bring up one (because I wrote a blog post about him) and asked if there is any thing between us. He lives in another state, we see each other as brother and sister. Sex guy has female friends and I don’t question.

    I do however agree that men over the age of 13 don’t make friends, female friends on purpose. Case in point, a guy on FB was on a friend’s friend’s list and befriended me. Didn’t think anything of it, FB is for connecting and networking. Well the guy started saying that we should hangout, get dinner, get drinks. Said he wanted to take me to Atlantic City. He said he wanted to be friends. He had a girlfriend (she was on his friend’s list). I shot him down, saying “Friends are made not pursued. What person is in a relationship and is seeking to make new friends of the opposite sex?” NEXT

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    But why put your every movement on your social networking platform? People get to free with that and put out a lot of info they do’t want known to everyone but forget that they’re essentially making it available to everyone. SMH

  • Preachthecomedian

    Yeeah you can’t have updates like
    going to Steves house for a late dinner tonight…hope my boyfriend has a good night out

  • http://nwso.net Symbiotic Loner

    “…The ironic part is most women can’t take it if the tables are turned, but expect brothas to understand…” Amen, brother!!! PREACH!!! The quickest way for a woman to be served deuces from me is to demand of me what she doesn’t ask of herself.

  • http://nwso.net Symbiotic Loner

    I would be leery of dating a woman that has a lot of friends of the opposite sex IF the connection between them…varies… I don’t handle “iffiness” very well… I certainly most would NOT date a woman with relatives that were too involved in our relationship!!! That’s why it’s called OUR relationship–the woman AND ME… Yes, it is DEFINITELY a turn-off when a woman hits the club every night!!! ESPECIALLY when she plays my tendency of NOT being a club-hopper and especially when she doesn’t realized that everything done in a club can be done at home (my reason for not being in clubs). If a womanu doesn’t want ME going to clubs to do what else I could do at a club that I can do with her at home, WHY SHOULD SHE??? It’s because of the FB crazies that I don’t even FOOL with FB… Why don’t women ever want to at least offer to contribute to the date? They seem to be too busy trying to manipulate “gender roles” for the most part into taking more than giving. Preach, your guest post was on point!!! Thanks for reminding me of cooking up a list of “annoying sh1t [a woman] do… Although I had already given a BIG clue earlier in my comment…

    • JoMama

      Should the women be equally as leery of a man has lots of friends of the opposite sex? Strange cuz some of you get mad if a woman does that but think it’s perfectly ok for you to have female friends and the gf is supposed to put up with it…

  • QuoteMan

    Lmao……this is hilarious; many a truth is spoken in jest.

    “let the bartender miss you” classic!!

    I will drink to #3. Stop listening to your cousin; when was the last time you saw her with a man? Tell her to get a hobby – if she can’t find a hubby …….. Lol

  • http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com/ NikkiB

    Ha! Great list. And, let’s reiterate that all points can be turned around, yet if they are? Some women don’t like it. Me? Fab.

    Although… I have to say I have a lot of friends of both sexes and I DO believe guys and gals can be pals. However, I realize the fact that I’m a chick and not a dude means I may have that one wrong.

    PS I agree with JC – I don’t even find FB friending appropriate while dating. Let alone stalking. Ew.

  • Lisa

    Awww Preach, this is a great list!!!
    I do have male friends that I’ve had since we were kids that I don’t think of “that” way & I’m hoping they don’t see me “that” way either.
    I don’t discuss a relationship with anyone so Aunt Rachel has nothing to say about it.
    I offer to pay & you’re right….the guy usually declines the offer so I offer to put down the tip.
    Thanks for the list, humorous but true.

  • Preachthecomedian

    The club thing gets me because stuff that was cute at 19,20 makes u look BAD now
    when your young dumb full of cum it’s cool…ur burning energy but I’m damn near 30..sit down sometime
    hell I’m not in a super metro like a LA or NYC or even Atlanta..so if ur clubbing every night HERE in Charlotte u really need to evaluate yourself

  • Paulette_bajan_gal

    Men are a lot more focused on sex in the real world…if the sex is good he’ll overlook all this list.Most of these sound like you’re in a relationship already so the blog title is kinda confusing…maybe it should read “so we’re dating…here are the reasons why I feel insecure and won’t marry you because of them.”

    Plus…you met the chick in the club in a plunging neck line with booty shorts…now you want her to stay home now that you want a cuddle buddy??lmao.Next time go to church and find a cuddle buddy there.

    • Joseph

      Church girls are sexier. So what you said its true. Men not boys should look at the church for wife material.

      • Joseph

        Or look at the church for girlfriend material. Way more worth it than some chick that is loose. I don’t want my junk near where other men’s junk has been. If I wanted that I would rub my genitals on a urinal.

        • Susan Jodoin

          My uncle married a “church girl”. She had an affair, and then left him for the other man, and wouldn’t let him see their two boys. My husband and I met in a bar and we have been married for 19 years. I haven’t cheated. Imagine that.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

      You have no clue what your talking about, did you even read the article? lol you a re a typical illogical women bitching about shit she doesn’t even know about. You are absolutely incorrect, your sexist views stem from narrow minded ignorance. It is a smart thing to avoid speaking the mind of billions of people of whom you know nothing about. Take it from a man who grew up with 7 adult women who couldn’t keep a man, if you are having guys problems, you should reevaluate the type of men you are dating or how you treat them.

  • Preachthecomedian

    Good sex can get you an apartment
    Not working my nerves can get you a home

  • tea

    Good post! Funny but true. I have definitely done this one…”YOU LET HIM TREAT YOU BADLY” I wasn’t getting punched in the eye but I stayed through a bunch of crap then went super hard on the next guy for ANY little thing. It is a little ridiculous/illogical.

  • QuoteMan

    Yeah, you did all that to get a man, now you got one – put on some damn clothes and stay ur ass home…… Lol.

  • B.Better

    I loved the list. I wonder if it applies to gay male friends? I dated someone who hated my straight and gay male friends. They were never involved in our relationship, but he hated all of them none the less.
    I do agree w/ the club rat thing. Honestly after 25 you shouldn’t be in the club every d*mn night (male or female).

  • B.Better

    Tell’em girl. Fellas stay trying to turn a hoe to a housewife and will overlook a good woman in a sec for some trashy kitty.

    • PeanutButter

       So true! Most men LOVE trashy women and then complain that they are out clubbing and flirting with other guys and even cheating and that they are selfish and childish. 

  • Lyndon


    “But if I’m late picking you up from work maybe three times and you’re ready to break up. Stop treating the good guy the way you should have treated the bad guy.”

    This is on point. I think we fuk up when we apologize for honest mistakes. It gives them the upperhand… Just be late. “Now what!?!”

  • Lyndon

    Question… What is a hoe?

    I would love to hear a woman LOGICALLY distinguish the difference (these days the line is paper thin).

  • Aiina

    Dating a man with a lot of female friend. Oh yes I am Leery but it’s really my problem. Thruth be told I have a lot of male friends so I’m in a good position to know that sometimes male friends are just that. The rest is more a trust isssue than anything else.

    Excess is always annoying: family involvement, clubbing, curiosity…

    For facebook, I am guilty as charged. I don’t investigate it every other second but every few days yeah. But he was a friend before anything else…. I don’t FBfriends men I just date.

    If I added you on my FB page and you see something strange, you can ask about it but since it won’t happen it’s all cool. FB is on the internet therefore it’s not really private how about being responsible for whatever information about you is available on the web?

    If you invite me to a restaurant, I’m not expecting to pay, I’ll thank you though. I am also very comfortable inviting the man as well to eat or to cook for him a fancy meal (which for your information gentlemen is AS expensive). I just find tiresome the old story of the greedy woman.

    Funny post lol.

    I must add that getting a man is by no means an achievment for any woman. It’s just that women usually want a specific man or kind of man…just a man…not an endangered specie by any mean.

    I would like one day to read a positive post from black men and women about what they love about each other…for a change … focusing on the negative makes us see only that.

  • B.Better

    A hoe is a PERSON who is loose with their goods. Giving sex away to anyone and not respecting their body,self, and time. But I see what u did there…

  • http://thecandyshoppe.wordpress.com Ronnie6676

    Didn’t mean it like I’m posting 5 minute increment status updates as to my where and what abouts. I’m talking about men who meet you and immediately they want to friend you on facebook, follow you on twitter, etc etc. I think that’s a bit much…just my personal pet peeve.

  • R.e.D

    Have to agree with Paulette on this one. Men love to date women they see in the club half naked and then expect her to stay at home once he gets with her. This makes NO sense.

    • AnnelliDAREAL

      I have even heard men say they love h o e s…that they want to marry them. SMH.

  • JC

    “Men have to feel like they are taking care of her and by letting the woman pay, that is like saying, “You can’t take care of me, you can’t do anything right!” and that affects the security a woman feels when they are together.”

    There are other things that a man can do and feel as if he is “taking” care of me. My sense of security has nothing to do with whether or not he can pay for my meal or a movie. I understand where this statement comes from but it is a bit old fashioned to think this way in 2011. If I want to go out and enjoy my time with a man I should expect him to pay because it would hurt his ego. Especially if you are dating with the mind to marriage, where I thought the idea was to then share what you have…why not learn that practice early on?

    I mean no offense but I hate this aspect of dating and would honestly rather be alone than date someone that didn’t allow me to pull my own weight in every sense.

  • Preachthecomedian

    Makes perfect sense…men are visual ..when we meet u that’s cool makes the blood rise
    but once we a couple now represent me for better or worse
    can’t have my lady out all night partying like she ain’t got a man
    that makes me look stupid

    • Shiva

      Bro you hit it right on with that one. People forget visual is the first attraction cue we get…why refuse it? Its such an important factor early on. Obviously two people have to be physical first…common sense there. It’s up to the two sexes to seek beyond that after physical attraction is established. There’s nothing shallow about it whatsoever..its your initial bond.

  • Shannon

    Men pay for the date because they’re supposed to. That’s what the man does; he is a provider and it is his obligation to make the woman happy and show her what he has to offer.

    A proper gentleman would never look to a woman to pay for dinner and would never want her to offer. Men have to feel like they are taking care of her and by letting the woman pay, that is like saying, “You can’t take care of me, you can’t do anything right!” and that affects the security a woman feels when they are together.

    I have male friends. With one exception, I’ve never dated any of my friends–they really aren’t dating material, which is why they are friends–and I spend a lot of time with them, primarily because I don’t have female friends. If a man is too insecure to deal with that, then he needs to stay on the sidelines.

    I never go out. Any day, any night of the week, I’m at home. I’m particular about the men I meet and who I date, so I spend a lot of time alone, which is good because that means my discernment isn’t so low that I’m going to be up with any man that crosses my line of vision.

    Hmmm…I like professional men. I like entrepreneurs. I like men who wear uniforms. I like men who work with their hands. I prefer traditional men who know how to treat a woman and there aren’t many of those left. People have forgotten how to think for themselves and just follow the crowd and do whatever the crowd is doing.

    I’ve never been one to look at a man’s Facebook page unless a comment he made shows up on mine and I want to see what it was about. I’m not a nosy person, but if I’m going to date any man, I want to know what I’m getting into and I want to know upfront, not six months down the line. I think I have a right to know if a man I’m dating is stepping out with the ex or is some kind of psycho stalker.

    There are different reasons people stay with someone who abuses them. Maybe they can’t leave. Maybe they did, but the person found them and threatened to kill them if they ever tried to leave again. It happens to men, too; maybe the mother of their children threatened to never let him see the children if he met someone else or didn’t break up with a new woman he met. Maybe she is holding up the divorce because she doesn’t want it and wants to stay together.

    No two leaves are alike. I don’t know and am not sure about the current state of relations between black men and black women; I never hear anything good from my mother and sister about it and my brother has flipped 180 degrees ever since he walked in on his wife in bed with another man, a man who is living there with them now and he is just bitter. I’m sure there is a happy black couple out there somewhere (feel free to chime in anytime Throne and Shay,:))who feel like they hit the jackpot with their partner and have no regrets.

    I don’t like the whole “You let him treat you badly” comment. No one wants to be treated badly and it’s not a matter of allowing it. If it were allowed, there wouldn’t be any battered women and there wouldn’t be laws and shelters for them. A lot of times women just never had a good example of how a woman should be treated and probably saw their mothers take a lot from men and think they are supposed do the same. Most men grew up without father figures and never had a good example of how to treat a woman. My sister has a friend whose husband hits her all the time and once this woman even told me, “My mama told me, if a man don’t smack you, he don’t love you. That’s how my daddy was to her.” Well, what could I say to that? All I do walk shake my head and walk off.

    Disrespect should never be tolerated by either sex. Most people are so afraid of being alone, they are willing to compromise themselves and look past some behaviors so they don’t spoil the fantasy.

    The worst for me? When I meet a man and give him my number and he has my voicemail full within the hour or I get 25 texts from him or get bombarded with emails or messages on Facebook. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t give out my real number anymore; I have a prepaid number I give out first.

    I admit there was one time when my husband and I got into an argument–he bought a Navigator without consulting me first–and I got angry, so angry that I shoved him off the sofa. He was surprised–as was I–and the look on his face wounded me. He was really hurt that I shoved him. I never did it again.

    Sigh…I just wonder if men know what they do that makes them undateable? Inquiring minds want to know, :).

  • R.e.D

    Preach, I enjoyed the post, it was funny and semi-truthful.

    Let me just say though that a woman can NOT have any of these things and STILL be single or she can have 1-2 of the ten and just be, well flawed, like we all are. Life just isn’t so cut and dry..but most definitely I can agree with some of these points…

    The thing is with men though, I find that they want the perfect woman: They want me to be a 10 or as close to it as possible, with a banging body, so they want a Beyonce. They want me to be intelligent like Ms Obama, cook and decorate like Martha Stewart, be their favorite porn star in the bedroom; do what Supa-Head does best any and every place possible, get up and go to church on Sundays like a good Christian, be a perfect mother to the children, get along with all their family, friends and in-between PLUS make them feel like they are the best things since sliced bread. And they need this ALL the time.

    Preach, I will be the first to admit that I have flaws, but you know you men are jacked up too. But like Aiina said, perhaps next time you should write what you love about me. (Not me R.e.D, me, the black woman)

    • Shiva

      Look at what you’re saying and take notice. The things that you stated men want are based on ACTIONS. The things women want are based on CHARACTER. Tell me which one is easier to change….that’d be ACTIONS by a long shot.

      BTW, it’d be detrimental to feed women as a whole compliments and praise before its earned. When you have a commercial on TV praising the vagina so high that they gotta talk about how men kill and steal for it….you’ve had your egos boosted WAY too much these days. I saw that shit on TV one day and it was so arrogant that I about damn near spit out my drink.

  • Preachthecomedian

    We do but figuring out what makes women happy is like rocket science..slot of variables to consider
    now as for the proper gentleman thing
    a man can offer alot buy this isn’t the 1800’s
    receiprocoty is appreciated. Trickin is trickin
    I’ll never ask a woman pay when first go out but ugh u gonna have to kick in at some point…cook a meal, get something off the dollar menu or something lol…if I wanted to trick off dough ALL the time i’d get a hooker not a girlfriend..just sayin

  • R.e.D

    I want you to read this again, and see how ILLOGICAL this makes you, lol….

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Well I’ll be te first to admit it would be hard to find flaws with your very gorgeous self
    I did write a companion piece though on my site


  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    It makes sense …when we meet i have no ties or anything to you
    but if we are in a relationship your behavior reflects on how u respect me, respect yourself and this relationship…so if u hot a man and u walking around with ya booty cheeks out the dude looms like a henpecked cuckold

  • Lyndon

    “The thing is with men though, I find that they want the perfect woman: They want me to be a 10 or as close to it as possible, with a banging body, so they want a Beyonce. They want me to be intelligent like Ms Obama, cook and decorate like Martha Stewart, be their favorite porn star in the bedroom; do what Supa-Head does best any and every place possible, get up and go to church on Sundays like a good Christian, be a perfect mother to the children, get along with all their family, friends and in-between PLUS make them feel like they are the best things since sliced bread. And they need this ALL the time.”

    What men are you talkin about? Men are simple. Men that are worth a damn don’t expect HALF of what you listed. Every guy I know that’s married does not have Halle Berry on his arm. Devotion, self-respect and honest smile is all decent men want.

    Women put these pressures (most of what you listed) on themselves. You seem to be gauging by t.v. and what you see in the nightclub. And if that is the case, knowledgeable guys don’t go clubbin lookin for the “right” girl. Even the rappers that are married have wives that are the direct opposite of the vixens they sex on the side.

    If you take a second look at the dude eyeing the chick with no clothes on, you will see smoke coming from his ears.

  • JC

    I like the idea of the post on acceptable flaws very much. I might just write up something and submit to NWSO ;-)

  • R.e.D

    Lyndon, I was exaggerating a bit, yes, but this notion that men are just these simple creatures who want simple things has to be thrown out. You guys actually are not that simple.

    Some time back, even you noted how a woman can do all the right things, but then that makes her ‘too nice’ and so abuse ensues. I am paraphraing here, but you get the picture.

    NWSO or Preach or anyone for that matter, how about a post talking about acceptable flaws?? We always talk about deal breakers but we aren’t perfect. So what imperfections can be considered tolerable in a mate??

    • Shiva

      You couldn’t be more wrong. We are VERY simple. Boil it down, all men only want TWO things from our women: Someone we find physically attractive (which is completely subjective) and isn’t a bitch (completely objective…you know what’s bitchy behavior and what isn’t). Women however setup all these opposing and lofty prerequisites for men to even be able to even get a chance. He has to be a bad boy AND a gentleman. Do you know how STEEP that is? 

      But I’ll help you out here’s some acceptable flaws from my standpoint. I don’t mind if a girl isn’t that smart, is clingy, has different hobbies/interests than me, doesn’t have a degree or lives with her parents. Truth be told, all I care about is that the woman is physically attractive to my taste and is easy to get along with. Two things…and not of them conflicts with each other. 

  • VirgoVida

    That arguing like it’s a wrestling match thing….I’m not buying it!!!! Men like that! I hear it over and over again, but I see the complete opposite in my every day life. I’m the quiet calm one that will fix you a meal. My girlfriends are the ones that will spit in your face, throw your phone out the window, hide your weed stash, fake a needed abortion just to get some extra cash, and threaten their main man with something their other S.O. will do, just so that the main will run and do it first! True stories! They keep somebody with a job………….I don’t understand it……..

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    That’s because MEN ARE SIMPLE
    we tell y’all this but fo some reason if Steve Harvey or Tyler Perry don’t day it y’all don believe us… Men are no way similar to women our whole make up is the opposite…
    U can feed us fuck us and occasionaly shut the fuck up.. We are GOOD…
    A man tells the truth eiter verbally or thru his actions

  • jaclynsd

    Are you leery of dating someone that has a lot of friends of the opposite sex? OH yeah

    Could you date someone with relatives that were too involved in your relationship? It would be a problem but not a reason not to date em.

    Is it a turn-off when someone hits the club every night? Once again…OH yeah especially if you’re not in your 20s anymore. SMH

    Do you stalk the people you’re seeing on Facebook? Hell no! Facebook is nothing but drama and yes people cant control what others post but you can block them lol

    Would you be upset if someone questioned you about things on your page? Yes, then I’d ask their age.

    Why don’t women ever want to at least offer to contribute to the date? I heard a female comedian say “Woman don’t want to come out the pocket and you know why ladies? Cause we’re cheap” lol As for myself I’ll pay on the third date and if we get more serious it would be even, if the guy lets you.

    What did you think of Preach’s guest post? Funny and favorite part “men don’t make friends on purpose after the age of 13. I got my eye on him…”

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Umm that’s because they are stupid as hell
    the jacked up people in the world always have mates because there are alot of jacked up people in the world. Keep doing u trust me
    where are u located if I may ask because location plays a big role

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    You need better friends, Virgo. lol

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    Looks like JC got you R.E.D.

  • jaclynsd

    Good call on men doing a post on “acceptable flaws?”

  • davidruffin83

    Bruh if you clubbin like that in NYC or LA you need to speak with yourself. That shit ain’t cheap and it definitely says something about your priorities. Unless of course, you happen to be one of these untalented hacks that “get paid to party”.

  • jaclynsd

    Those woman werent looking for a man but men/attention. So now that you seem to “have” her why are you upset that she still wants to go out and get men/attention. If you met a woman/girl a certain way then why are you “stay your ass home” lol Men say that woman are always trying to change men. Then why oh why are you trying to change a woman you met half naked at a club?!

  • AD

    Oh Lord, Preach here YOU go again!! LOL “tell Aunt Rachel hi”, she must be the cute aunt at all the family functions! Overall good list from a guys prespective. However….(you know that was coming)I have alot of male friends b/c of my job, so the guy I’m dating must understand that. None of my male friends wants to sleep with me (hell many of them are married and thier wives are real cool).

    So we ain’t high-5’in over your list but we are both giving each other head nods during this conversation while drinking Cognac! LOL!!

  • Lyndon

    “They keep somebody with a job”

    I Guarantee you don’t wouldn’t the type of men they get. Those tend to be the n$ggas that love drama anyway. I know them. I know them well. The fightin, bickering, chics callin your phone to shake you up… It ain’t worth it, unless ofcourse that’s your speed. But domineering women do always keep somebody- that ain’t a lie. Just take the time and see who that cat is, and what he’s worth. I’ll bet money it ain’t as peachy as it seems.

  • AD

    JC, did the FB guy you turned down the friend acceptance did he take offense? You know some people take FB WAAAYYYYY to serious! LOL!

  • Rastaman

    I am from the school of “teach people how to treat you”, so I can’t really complain about how a woman wants to be. If I don’t like how she is then deuces.
    I have always felt that people do what works for them and if it stops working they are forced to alter their behavior or lose out on what they desire. So if you can accept that man or woman “as is” when you meet them and you go ahead and date them then you really have no grounds to complain. Not all these things are immediately known of course but once the information becomes known you have enough to make that choice. It’s that old I don’t hate people, I dislike their ways. So they may change their ways if you are worth it.
    I always go back to that old saying “water seeks it own level”; women with those traits are not updateable they just have not found the “special one” willing to accept with their unique ways. They are dateable just not by you
    I got more female friends than male friends; some of them are hot and have probably been hotter than the present GF. I am not leaving my abandoning my friend just to date you plus my hot friends have other hot friends. Bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush every day of the week.

  • AD

    Tooooo much, tooo much….LOL!

  • AD

    So don’t get mad when I catch a ride with my male friend….”Now what!?!”

  • Lyndon

    I wind up in jail.

  • JC

    Well I had already accepted his friend request before he started asking me to hangout. Then once I caught on to him I defriended him. I don’t mind making friends through FB but the vibe I got off of him told me to stay clear. He was annoyed, but what could he do.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    It’s the good honest truth

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Yeah you wouldn’t
    trust me on that

    turns a problem from a comedy to a tragedy
    bang bang

  • JC

    LOL, I will write up something. But Ladies I don’t need to be the one, lol. This will be interesting, especially because I am laid back and open minded so I take a lot in stride.

  • irishmami8

    Hey. I’m headed to your neck of the woods tomorrow. But I’m mad cuz I wanted to go to PF Chang’s, but I found out that neither one of them is close to where I’m staying. I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to drive all over Charlotte to go there, but hey, that’s why we have GPS’s, right? LOL. It’s not like we have one in Fay. Hope you have a good weekend. I’m counting down.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Turn into the outro from Oran Juice Jones
    “in the rain”
    ” I saw you with tha crumb cake, my first thought was run up on both of ya like Rambo and flat blast both of you..but I chilled cuz I ain’t wanna mess up this $3700 Linx coat”

    Don’t touch that coat!!!

  • R.e.D

    Alright, J.C. you are def stepping up to the plate. I want to see that post…but NWSO, I still need a male’s perspective, so we need both male and female versions of acceptable flaws..

  • davidruffin83


    “I am not leaving my abandoning my friend just to date you plus my hot friends have other hot friends. Bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush every day of the week.”

    Man what!! And we both know there is nothing like the power of a female cosign to get you greased into some tight spots.

  • davidruffin83

    Ho is such a relative term. If you asked my grandmother, every woman who posted on here today and has slept with a man they weren’t married to is a hussy. I wouldn’t be so quick to go tossing around labels. Judge ye not lest ye be judged. #couldn’thelpmyself#

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Bye, preach.

    *trips & falls*

  • http://www.wilderinreallife.com Wilder

    Hands down this has made the most sense given that I scrolled through most of the comments that came off a bit one sided, just saying.

    Bottom line is this people. You date a person to get to know them if you still like what’s being presented you take it and do not complain. If you find yourself wanting to change there ways and they’re not willing to. Guess what? Move on because the sex won’t keep you.

    There was a guy I dated and kept telling me things that annoyed him about me. I told him to find someone who doesn’t annoy him and that was it. Bottom line I’m pretty set in most of my ways and I’ll only make adjustments for someone I really want. I won’t go changing a guy because there’s always another one right behind him.

    Fellas, please keep this in mind if you don’t like it find someone else, it’s that simple. And to everyone if someone’s making an honest effort to change then you got a winner.

  • http://lovealwayssunny.com Sunny Dee

    This is just too much. I look forward to hearing the women rebuttal this one in an upcoming post Naked. See the thing is, we know all of this and many of us have memorized this list and recite it three times a day just to keep ourselves in line, I mean themselves in line. I will speak Dutch today, wrestling should only be done in the olympics and Auntie Raych needs to stay home tonight. We get it but where is the breakdown between we get it and we’re doing it?

  • QuoteMan

    LOL … well, if you wanna keep it on some screwing around kinda thing, I’m cool with that. But if you on some serious couple kinda thing, then let it be known, I ain’t trying to change you, ma, just bringing the best out of you and hopefully it’s mutual. That’s all ………… We ain’t kids anymore.

  • QuoteMan

    For starters, by what parameters do we define “an acceptable flaw?” Cuz with the exception of an irrevocable one – like say, a physical flaw, why should a behavior or character flaw be acceptable? If we are acknowledging something within us to be a flaw, should that really be acceptable.

    I get that we all have our flaws (I still wrestle with mine) and fixing them is one of life’s many struggles. But I don’t think the next person have to accept them cuz if you acknowledge them then you know you should be better than that. Now, I also don’t believe in anyone changing me or me changing anyone, or anyone changing for me, but rather bringing the best out of you and vice versa.

    I guess what I’m saying is, true, we have to accept folks for who they are; but we are not our flaws – we are better than our flaws.

    I will be less than honest, if I say what character flaw I could tolerate or could not; circumstances, with respect to time would dictate that.

  • irishmami8

    Wilder, I think I dated the same guy as you. LOL. I was too white, my hair was too curly, yada, yada, yada. I told him that if I was too white, he should find someone darker. I might not be happy with everything about me. But overall, I’m not exactly miserable here.

  • saritas

    Funny! I totally had to delete a guy from facebook because I was getting mad at his female friends commenting and stuff.

    Sometimes, you got to save yourself!

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Would you like fries with that too, RED. #YourNotTheBossOfMe

  • Enid Wilson

    Interesting. It seems I’m very date-able. Let me pimp and shower first…

    Fire and Cross

  • Wmofyr

    I agree with this. If she clubbing every night, most of her friends are probably there. She won’t want to turn it off for just a man she dating. The date might have to enter that life if possible.

  • Wmofyr

    It sounds like FB is used to talk over stuff sometimes. I can see why people get hooked.

  • VirgoVida

    LOL. That’s what my friend/coworkers say. I’ve known all of them for at least ten years. And at some point, we were all kind of on the same path. But somewhere in the midst, I grew up and ascended to liking sunday brunch and mimosas at a place like Ruth Chris. And these cluckers still wanna get down and crack on crab legs at All You Can Eat Phillips. SMH

  • Rastaman

    The lone wolf never needs to run with the pack…the pack always ends up following eventually.

  • VirgoVida

    Dangit Preach, you’re right! Baby mamas, lesbians, psycho killa “Norman Bates” chicks always seem to keep a couple on the deck!
    Ummmmmm, I’m in the DMV. DC to be exact…

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Hold up let’s get bougie
    all you can eat crab legs sounds hittin’
    but I dig the Ruth Chris…don’t know exactly what a mimosa is…gave up liquor and cigarettes so I’m a little behind on drink names

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    I’m in the south it’s not too different but I guess I mean location as in are these hoodrats and wanna be ganstas from the projects …or the buppy princesses and wanna be down cats from the burbs

  • VirgoVida

    Thanks Lyndon. Yeah, I’m not the type to keep a “piece of man”. Some women will deal with a man and all their issues and bad habits instead of waiting for a man that they are compatible with and that brings the same thing they bring to the table. DEF not me. :)

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    That’s because like it or not
    hood chicks, ghetto queens
    tend to impress easier

    ” oh my god u only been Locked up ONCE??!? Damn your a good man”

    or a man can brag and say
    ” baby tonight is the triple m shot date…movies mcdonalds and my mama house
    she lives with ME”

  • VirgoVida

    Wanna be down thugs from PG County. PG county is one of the most predominantly black and richest counties in America. Apartment complexes full of luxury cars. Spend that money on a house. #stilltrifling

  • VirgoVida

    A friend just told me this scenario 2 weeks ago. He has not had a job in about 2 years. Too lazy to get one and his “lady friends” all take care of him. They let him take the car, he comes home when he wants to, and he stays “glassy eyed”, so they also give him money for his habit as well. But his new “lady friend” took him home to meet her mother (Y meet the mother when U ain’t no good anyway???? ). She asked him if he had ever been to jail, does he have any kids, and does he have a JOB? To all questions he replied NO. But she asked him if he had graduated high school. He replied YES. This fool told me that here mama told him he was a catch !!!!!!!!!!! May the force be with him….lol

  • R.e.D

    @ NWSO: Forgive me dear sir, you know I do get out of line sometimes :)

  • R.e.D

    @ Quoteman, you realize that you sort of answered your own question right??
    Listen, I get your point that flaws should be worked on, but while we are doing that, someone still has to accept that it may not change, and simply have to deal with it or leave. So what flaw are you ‘willing to deal with?’ is basically what I am asking. Let me explain the concept using an example, bear in mind that all flaws/imperfections are subjective and of course vary from person to person. What you find acceptable someone else may not, that’s all I mean…
    Example #1: Jealousy. I have friends that date or are in relationships with men that are jealous. Now these guys are not women beaters, they are simply a bit too possessive, get completely upset if the female talks to other guys or if other men look at her. So in my opinion, jealousy is an ‘acceptable’ flaw for some women.

    For me, this is a definite NO-NO. Personally, I have never been in a relationship with a jealous man, I cannot even relate when friends talk such things, b/c it is insanity to me. My high school ex used to tell me he loved when other men looked at his woman b/c he took it as a compliment that she was fine. Now that’s my type of man. Not some fool getting upset when another man is looking at me.
    Hopefully you see where I am coming from with this….

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Ohhhhh I fuckin hate that
    women from a decent or great background that want the hood life
    we call them NuNu’s round my way..lol
    and I triple hate dudes from good backgrounds that want hood passes
    the hell u wanna hood for …take ya polo and rigby playin ass somewhere

  • R.e.D

    @ Preach: Thanks for the compliment!!!

  • AD

    I thought my grandma was the only one to use the word hussy.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Wow. Yeah… No. :-|

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Yep, very true unfortunately.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    A lot of them live soap opera/TMZ/Entertainment Tonight lives – always action-packed, gossip-filled & chaotic….. without a moment of silence. Naw playa, I’ll leave that shyt for those who enjoy it. :-| My home is my sanctuary.

  • Danielle

    I don’t speak Dutch and never ever plan to learn. And when we’re done with dinner, you can break out the snow plow and handle this driveway it has 3 feet of snow on it. I have guys that have been friends for years and will remain my friends. And if my new man isn’t strong enough or is too insecure to handle it then he can kick rocks. I don’t give up my true friends. They are too hard to find.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

      Have fun being 1 of the 80% of single black women you sexist fool. PS judging by your face, you have no room for superficiality. Women make 8% more then men and dominate the job market, so you need to set up and start paying your won way. You don’t get something for nothing, and if I’m paying you for your time, you better spread those legs girl, because that is all women like you are: prostitutes.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthecomedian

    Now why is that with the Dutch thing for you?

  • Wmofyr

    Men should always pay for the date. Not saying I won’t pay sometimes. But if I do, it’s because I just want to or because I think he broke or struggling at the moment (its pity or love, depending on how long we been involved). But if I don’t know he has a struggle going on, I will never pay for anything. Sure I can do things for him. But no, I will never offer to pay (I may think highly of him, and act accordingly). If I didn’t make that decision to pay from the start, I aint offering later on. And please no complaining, unless there is a crime, something real bothering you. I take that back, do complain, not good to hold stuff in.

    Anyway, I like the feeling that I can go somewhere and not take money with me, because the guy knows how to take care of me. He that reliable and thinking. And he can count on me too. That’s a good situation there.

    But these days people call you stupid for the trust you put in them. It’s not a complement in some minds when you know they are good people and can be trusted that way. So I always have cash, credit card and cell phone with me: and a mini laptop if I have a large purse with me.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

      Women make 8% more then women and 80% of the homeless population is of men, your views are not just old fashioned they are obsolete. If you pay for a girls date in western society today, you are nothing, but an ignorant fool.

  • Wmofyr

    I don’t like crab legs. All that cracking for a little piece of meat. How about a lobster tail or crab cakes? Maybe the togetherness they are remembering/associating with it.

  • Shannon

    I have to agree with you on one point. A lot of my values and beliefs are quite outdated compared to the social mores of modern society. That had to do with the fact that my parents–who are the same generation as most of the group members’ grandparents and great-grandparents–were strong on those values and it was something that was drilled into my head most of my life, especially about running around with different men and I’m not married to one of them.

    I know a lot of things have changed in the dating game to date, but there are some things that have no business changing, IMO. Just saying…

  • Shannon

    OMG, did we grow up in the same house, lol? My father always told me to always let the man take care of me and the only time you ever do for a man is if you gave birth to him (up to age 18), he parented you or you exchanged vows with him. However, my father was born right around WWI, in 1919, when Wilson was in office and things were different then, I guess.

    He also used to tell me, “You still want to be counted on, but you also want someone you can count on, too.” I’ve always taken that advice to heart.

  • Shannon

    This is news to me. Just about every man I’ve met since my husband passed has told me I need to lose weight, I need to take out my braids, I need to look like J. Lo or whoever is the flavor of the month.

    My weight doesn’t bother anyone but the men who approach me and most of them need to hit the gym themselves. They don’t look like Bill Paxton, but they expect me to look like Pamela Anderson. Men aren’t as simple as you think; if you don’t think that’s true, ask any woman on the street and she will tell you men aren’t simple and they want the impossible: an educated, homemaker, silver screen, sexy supermodel 10 who could start their own line of porn.

    Women put themselves through all of this because this is what men want. How often do you see ordinary, normal-looking women on tv or in rap videos? How many times have you ever seen a woman on tv with a muffin top or back fat on the arm of any man? You don’t see that, so that tells women men don’t want a normal woman going through the normal changes of life.

    So in other words, men want me to look like the vixen they want to sex but not the kind of woman they want to marry? Whatever. And you say men are simple. Not by a long shot…

  • QuoteMan

    Yeah, I see where you coming from …………… i guess we’ll get more into it when JC submits her post.

  • Jessica J

    Nah, we”ve all heard hussy far too much!

  • Jessica J

    As soon as I see By: Preach the Comedian”, I’m know I’m in for something wild. That guy never fails.

  • Brazil

    I thought the list was funny and pretty much on point. However, I disagree with your statement that “Men don’t make friends on purpose after the age of 13″. As you mentioned, there are exceptions to every rule and personally, I have several female friends (some cute, some not) that I am very good friends with. And my woman doesn’t have a problem with it.

    Now, granted that all the women I am friends with I don’t find attractive which makes it easier for me to have the friendship. And I will also admit that, for the women I’ve found attractive, I did approach romantically. But I have never, ever sat in the cut, friending an attractive woman that didn’t have a romantic interest in me as well. If there isn’t romantic interest, then I move on. I see no point in being friends with a woman you find hot but isn’t interested in you. Move on and let the next dude sweat her. Other guys stick around thinking, “If not today, then maybe tomorrow”. Those are back-burner guys hoping to get in at a later date.

    That being said, I think that it’s totally plausible/possible/practical to be just friends with a woman that another guy is interested in. Because frankly stated, just because the guy thinks his gal is the best thing since fried chicken doesn’t mean that her male friend finds her attractive as well.

    • AnnelliDAREAL

      The same holds true for a man…if I really like a man or have a crush on him and he shows me or tells me that he isn’t interested in me—I don’t want to remains “friends” with him–it’s best to erase his number, delete his email and not make contact with him…

  • Maureen

    I do, I always speak Dutch when on a date because I am Dutch :P

  • Melisa

    Ok. Heres the problem women (and some men) have when it comes to friends of the opposite sex. IF your mate cannot and does not introduce you to their opposite sex friend, then you should be worried. My best friend since high school is a guy…and there is nothing there…he is straight…just he is like a brother to me. Any quy I meet will know about him…and if he didnt live 6 hours away, he would be introduced right away. So I say just be leary if you arent able to meet that “friend.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

      indeed, thats kind of a “duh” concept… you would think…

  • Mook

    You work hard so you should play hard—I get that—but why the hell are you partying all the time? Do I look like Eddie Murphy? Stay home some damn time. Let the bartender miss you. When club promoters and doormen/security know you by name and you don’t own the club that’s a sign that you need to sit down somewhere—and not at the bar.” 
    I dig this one… This is great!! You hear a lot of women like this and they think it’s cool to always, just always go out and they are seriously going out like literally 7 days a week. I think these type of women are seriously afraid of their own homes/houses, condos and I think they are these clingy women that are the women “wussies” that are so effin scared to be alone all by themselves for any amount of time. Then if she does have a BF she’s that paranoid girl/lady that won’t leave your side to two effin seconds. These women are the total daddies girl that are just like the mamma boys. They have to constantly always no matter what have to have someone right by their sides. The club rats are a turnoff at somepoint cause they like to go out too much. But what were saying is going out in moderation… Not every single damn night!!  

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SLBZDJMKVOTCJANFFJCH5UUUQE Michael

      That’s whats up man. My opinion of the girl who goes out/parties too much is that they have no self identity. If she spends all her time around such excited conditions at all times it says that she herself is so boring and lacking depth of character and personal hobbies and ambitions, therefore she has to surround herself with a fast lifestyle in order to be sane. To me, a person only truly knows who they are when things quiet down. There is a saying I’ve heard a few times, “the best friend you can have is the one which you can be completely silent with” 

  • soberthought

    to all those women who think male friends are great…yeah they do want you and you are fools to think otherwise…almost as a rule men will think whether a girl is worth it….including friends…we are “pigs” and always will be…fool yourselves if you want to. and yeah…go ahead and say “but you are a pig and these guys arent”…..men are men….go ahead and argue now…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/lorrainetauson Lorraine Tauson

    Men want to marry a “good girl”that will fill his needs, be an excellent mother to his children, and secretly be his private whore. Enough said.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

      You need to buy a dictionary the word “whore” cannot be used in that sentence. Clearly you have sexual frustrations, that doesn’t give you the right to call every woman who enjoys sex a whore, jealously is a bitch. Cry me a river.

  • jhan6120

    Amazing how women today want to compete on a level playing field with men in the workforce, but when it comes to relationships, they still want to be treated ‘special.’ I RUN AWAY from these kinds of women. They are spoiled, unreasonable brats who want to have their cake and eat it too – and it comes out in ALL their behaviors.

    A lot of you ladies are educated today, so here’s something you might have forgotten from economics class: THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH. As soon as that ‘glass ceiling’ broke, you gave up most of your claims to chivalry. You can’t have ‘equality’ when you want it, and ‘special treatment’ when you want it. What you CAN find is a man who treats you like a human being – if you work on YOURSELVES enough first and ditch the ‘ME ME ME ME ME ME’ attitude..
    Any man who accepts that you are his ‘equal’ then bends his knee to you whenever you deem it convenient . . . is an IDIOT that you shouldn’t want to date in the first place. He is a PEOPLE PLEASING WUSS.
    In general, this is why I don’t date ‘career women.’ They want it both ways, but they can never get it – so they go through the dating scene all screwed up. The CRAZIEST women I’ve dated are almost ALL ‘career’ types. They make good friends, and good conversationalists, but HORRIBLE girlfriends. I’d much rather date a cute 2nd grade teacher or dental assistant. In fact . . . I DO, and they’re much nicer and much more fun.
    And notice: when a man even DARES to criticize women today; women screech and holler like someone set a match to their skirts. LEARN HOW TO TAKE SOME CRITICISM. You’ll look more like adults.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

    I don’t speak dutch, women make more money then men and are more likely to be employed, they need to pay.

  • Seriously

    just too many psycho women out there these days, very scarey.

  • JoMama

    Whenever I suggested “dutch” the guys were the ones to get offended. Accused me of being a “women’s libber” because of it. smh.

  • Glitter

    I agree with the last point. You don’t have to win an argument with your significant other. That’s your mate, not some enemy. I don’t believe in keeping frustrations bottled up. If you have something to say, say it. Just be respectful. Say what you need and let it go. If your partner doesn’t respect your concerns, leave them. As for going dutch, ladies if you’ve been in that relationship for a while, treat your man from time to time.