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What If You Were Ugly For a Day? (A Question of Beauty)

Posted by NWSO • January 30, 2011 • Printer-friendly

Pretty girls have a warped sense of reality. Generally speaking, they don't have to work for much. Because of their looks, people tend to do things for them or give them a pass. They get attention early on in life and are constantly given compliments and other things based solely on their outward appearance. It can start as early as kindergarten when little Jimmy gives pretty little Jenny a gift (or hits her playfully), which starts a never ending cycle of men showering her with gifts in an attempt to gain her attention. It’s pretty easy to see how something like that can go to someone’s head.

For those that society does not deem attractive, they get attention as well, but not the positive kind. They get picked on and teased, heckled and laughed at simply because of how they look. Life isn't easy being an unattractive (or even average-looking) person in a superficial world.

I remember a couple months ago walking to the gym when this woman that wasn't really heavyset but wasn't thin either went jogging by. She got into the intersection just as a car was turning and I noticed how the driver, a male, was visibly upset that she had impeded his progress. All this despite the fact that the pedestrian always has the right of way. Had this been a slim PYT in spandex instead of a frumpy plus-size woman I bet his reaction would have been different. He probably would have held up traffic for an hour and watched her with glee as she and her lovely lady lumps bounced by.

#PrettyGirlsFTW

It sucks but that's the way of the world unfortunately. We judge people, places and things by their outward appearance before digging beneath the surface to see what it's all about. The same courtesy that would be extended to an attractive woman entering a crosswalk should be extended to the person behind her, regardless of their physical features, sex, color, religion or creed. That's how it would be in a perfect world but again that's not our reality.

Open up a magazine, turn on the TV or click on a link online and all you see are what most would consider are attractive people—whether they're Photoshopped or not is another question. You do see a few of the unattractive as well (mostly online) but they're usually there to be ridiculed. We—myself included—poke fun at them, leave funny mean comments, and laugh. Despite their success and talent, no one aspires to be Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe (aka Precious) or even Whoopi Goldberg, but our young girls do want to be Amber Rose, Nicki Minaj and the rest of the visually-desirable women of the world.

Being wanted and desired makes life a bit easier in terms of getting out of tickets, having doors opened for you and having the ability to make some men do your bidding, but I understand that there are negatives too. I know I've been guilty of assuming an extremely attractive woman would have a bad attitude, is wack in the sack or might not be as smart as the "average" chick behind her. (It's comparable to the dumb jock that gets passed through school because of his athletic ability and having others do his homework.) I imagine being constantly underestimated because of your beauty would be annoying—unless you actually did have a bad attitude and your IQ matched your panty size—but would it be any better living as an unattractive person?

I'm not unattractive (at least I don’t think so) and have no clue what it's like but I did have my ugly duckling phase. I remember getting teased for my S-Curl, homemade haircuts from mama and I'll never forget this one girl in 8th grade that told me I looked like Harpo from The Color Purple. Needless to say, none of that felt good, especially when you saw the taller, pretty boy with the "good hair" or light eyes get all the attention. You'd look in the mirror and wish you were him or just didn't have this flaw or that physical quirk.

Luckily, I grew out of it and into my once-teased big lips, but what if I didn't? I imagine that being undeniably ugly or below the poverty line of attractive stock would suck. Not only would every person I pass be a potential critic of my outward appearance, but so would my own eyes every time I looked in a mirror. Well, that's assuming I lacked self-confidence.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but we each play a role in what others see when they look at us. How we present ourselves to the world matters. If you walk out the house with an un-ironed shirt or an outfit that's two sizes too small, all people will see is a sloppy individual. Ugly is ugly in some cases, but self-confidence can trump that all. I've seen my fair share of unattractive people that made themselves sexy or at the very least appealing because of confidence and personality (i.e. Biggie Smalls and Grace Jones).

On the other side of that coin, I've seen stunningly attractive people that were ugly in action, personality and sometimes to their core. In the long run, I think internal attractiveness trumps outward attractiveness any day, because physical beauty lasts but so long and can be taken from you in a flash. So to quote Ms. Lauryn Hill, "How you gon' win, if you ain't right within? Uh uh, come again."

Have you ever judged someone or assumed they'd be a certain way because of how they look? Do you expect attractive people to be conceited or dumb as rocks? What role does the media play in how we view ourselves? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and love everything you see? Or, are you constantly picking yourself apart in a quest to be "beautiful?” On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your physical appearance honestly? How do you think someone that doesn't know you would rate you based solely on looks? Would you trade places with an "ugly" person for a day?

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Tagged as: beauty, pretty, Pretty girls, PYT, teased, ugly, ugly girls

Shannon

I know exactly what you mean. It's just what I was saying on another post about how men want women to look like the vixens they want to sex but not the ones they want to marry. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and being attractive does get you a pass in life.

Whenever I used to go to the club, I always got free drinks and no cover charge at the door. I've gotten free jewelry, clothes, perfume, meals, the list goes on. And you know it's that outer beauty that gets men going. Not that old fairy tale about inner beauty; it's a fact that if you left Gabourey Sidibe and Beyonce side by side on the road, both of them with flat tires and no equipment, Gabourey Sidibe's only hope is if she's got a really strong set of lungs and can blow that tire up herself.

Halle Berry could have killed nine or ten people and a man will say, "She's not trying to kill me. All I know is she is fine as hell." Attractive men get away with murder in relationships because of their looks; a man can kick a woman's ass and close her right eye, but I bet if he looked like Denzel Washington or George Clooney they would say, "He ain't beating me up that bad," but if he looked like Bernie Mac or Lyle Lovett they would be gone so fast, they'd leave the air on fire.

I never could give an attractive person a pass. They have to work just like anyone else and looks fade over time and you can't always count on that. I admit when I was younger, I used to dress up to get free stuff. I would get free groceries, free cable, free car repairs, free meals, even get a case dismissed in court and being young and naive and dumb, I treated myself like a tramp because I could get these old men to spend money on me like water and I didn't have to do anything to get it but look pretty.

But then I got older and one day I realized my heyday had passed. I'd hit the big 3-0. Now it was the twenty-somethings that were getting checked out and I was being looked through, except when some man who looked like a bunch of crap thought he could get laid with some weak-ass line.

Sometimes I wish I didn't look the way I did. Deep down I believe if I didn't have super-huge boobs and a small waist and long hair, men would take me seriously. Most people don't even believe I went to college; they think I'm sleeping my way to the top and treat me like I'm an airhead.
IamElectRick

RT @NakedWithSocks: Do pretty people have it easier in life than their ugly counterparts? http://nwso.net/2011/01/30/ugly-for-a-da...
AliG83

From my personal experience I have had male employees in fast food restaurants give me extra food or offer me free beverages, which I always decline.

Once while working as a Teller, a male customer told me I was pretty to butter me up because he didn't have any identification to withdraw from his account.

Another time a random man asked me if I had a dollar. I told him "No" and he said "You're pretty anyway."

1. We all judge others based on their looks whether we want to or not.

2. I definitely don't think attractive people will be conceited or dumb solely because they are attractive.

3. What role does the media play in how we view ourselves? For women the media tells us that our worth is based on how attractive we are.

For men the media tells them that their worth is based on their achievements.

If you ever watch those entertainment shows (ET, TMZ, Inside Edition),the stories about female celebrities usually focus on what the woman was wearing and who she is dating while the stories on the male celebrities are usually about their careers and business ventures.

4. I don't rate myself or others. For the most part, women and men tell me that I am cute or pretty.

5. I wouldn't trade places for someone less attractive than me. When I was younger I wasn't exactly in touch with my 'feminine side' so I know the feeling already. As an adult I get the "Do you remember me from middle school?" line.
TheNawtyPrfssor

@NakedWithSocks ...OMG! Okay I guess I'm vain. I didn't think I was but...
http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com/ NikkiB

I absolutely agree on the role the media plays. Standards for beauty are blatant for both men and women - yet AliG83 has it right: women are far more often defined by looks only.
TeritaTweets

RT @NakedWithSocks: Be honest, how ugly are you? Sorry, we all can't be supermodels so you must fall in this category http://nwso.net/20 ...
Bradley

Interesting and awesome post. I like this blog. I agree we do tend to go out of our way for the attractive person more so than the less attractive person. I've been guilty of this in my younger days. however, I was often teased in high school because I had braces. After my braces left and I was a senior in high school, I began dating, however I never got the big head about myself. I'm just a human being like everyone else.
mrmetachlorians

RT @NakedWithSocks: Be honest, how ugly are you? Sorry, we all can't be supermodels so you must fall in this category http://nwso.net/20 ...
Aiina

Have you ever judged someone or assumed they’d be a certain way because of how they look? No I usually wait to talk to the person before formulating an opinion.

Do you expect attractive people to be conceited or dumb as rocks? No but from personnal experience, Ii have found that many pretty women and men I have encoutered are so used to the attention that they now take favors for granted. As well, since being pretty is more often than not enough they often lack charisma and are less interesting to talk to (thinking about it, the most interesting people I know are never the "pretty" ones). I have to add that thos eI know are far from being dumb or stupid, but maybe they are too used to being looked at rather than listen to.

What role does the media play in how we view ourselves? Very important role in defining what is a beautiful person, it's never about what the person is, does and believes but it's always about size, color, hair, breat, muscle....

Can you look at yourself in the mirror and love everything you see? Or, are you constantly picking yourself apart in a quest to be “beautiful?”. I am product of my society but I do try to exercice consciousness, it does not work everyday. So I love everything I see even those I want to improve or cannot change..... except on a bad day

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your physical appearance honestly? 7

How do you think someone that doesn’t know you would rate you based solely on looks? Depending on their taste anywhere from 1 to ten. All that media influencing people is really disturbing as the media's choice become people's taste and everyone has the same taste but everyone wants to be different. It's almost cute.

As well from personnal experience, wether or not I lost a few pounds, I am wearing make up, a long weave, a red dress rather than joggings, heels rather than flats... can create very significant impact not to say drastic behaviour modification in people (mostly male) I encouter.

Would you trade places with an “ugly” person for a day? I would not mind but what for? Maybe it's a good way to experience the ugliness in the average person behaviour and finally see the rare true beauty of the few that really look within.
super-ego

unfortunately I have been cursed with what society decided was pretty and dont get me wrong i am thankful for my looks but i understand tht gravity will take ahold of me oneday the waist will expand and the booty will dropI just wish tht other ppl would realize tht.I wuld trade places with the ugly girl in a minute than my work would b appreicated (ppl would at least believe i done it)no one would hound you about getting married and giving some one some pretty babies as if tht is all you are good for i can't stand for a man to say o she fine and she smart to ....really.... at last but not least if you are a decient looking girl and date a guy tht others dont think attractive enough than u must b a gold digger whn truth b told mayb some of us "pretty" girls are not as shallow as we have been termed to b
Deka

So many good looking women still waiting for a friend request on Facebook lol I'm not biting!
Justme

Some of the least attractive people I have ever met in my life are also the most gorgeous because their personality shines through with great beauty. I think I could manage!
c0c0puffz

Growing up I was extremely skinny, flat chested, my face and body broke out with spots, my hair was broken off and I got called a boy and other names so I have to say pretty people do have it easier in they get more attention. When my hair finally grew, my face cleared up, and my body filled out, I felt attractive and carried myself with enough confidence to make people finally talk to me. I think it could also be that when you feel "ugly" you tend to stay to yourself.
Goodie

Nice post!
I recall being in 4th grade and having my ridiculously long hair blown out to be clipped. I sat next to a girl who was a "cool kid" but only had enough hair to fit in a barrett. I am not sure what prompted it (maybe she had a crush on the boy who sat next to her and wanted to see if he liked girls with long hair) but she decided to tell another "cool kid" that I liked him (a few weeks earlier he caught me during a game of Catch and Kiss and I punched him because kissing was for adults)his response was "Ewwww she is ugly". I was mortified, I wanted to melt but I didn't. Years later the boy would tell me he had a crush on me since 4th grade. All of that to say, I can not imagine pple living and feeling the way I felt that day. Pple can be so cruel.
Rastaman

I judge people I encounter every day, based on how they look, how they smell, how they speak, how they act and probably a myriad of other unconscious observations. I don’t think it matters unless I act based solely on those judgments. I make a conscious effort to not let my actions towards others be based on superficial observations. But sht happens.
I have several good friends who fall into the “attractive” grouping we so liberally toss around. So I have never really felt or saw attractive people as dumb or conceited. I am an average looking man in my eyes and I learned pretty early on to not put a lot of stock in physical appearance. I have always been able to excel socially on my personality, brains and perceived athleticism. So called attractive people have been getting preferential treatment long before mass media existed. Remember Cinderella and her ugly step sisters. Snow White or Sleeping “Beauty, all these cues are deeply embedded in our psyche.
I don’t know anyone who looks in the mirror and loves everything they see; I have a very good friend who use to be a model and has always been told how striking she appears. Which she is but having known her for near 15 years, I can attest that she has as many doubts about her appearance as any average person. Actually the people, who go around trumpeting how beautiful they are, generally have the most insecurity and spend a lot of energy trying to compensate for those insecurities generally in very negative ways. Instead of worrying about my physical flaws I put my efforts into enhancing my positives: physical, mental and spiritual.
I think I have been called everything along the “attractiveness” spectrum at some point in my life. It bothers me less now become I am very self assured and enough people find me appealing for it no longer be an issue. When I was much younger I probably put too much stock into being deemed attractive but luckily it did not affect me negatively, I don’t think. I am vain I admit but aren’t we all to some degree?
I don’t have to trade places with an “ugly” person because I believe that there are a constituent of folks who will or have deemed me “ugly” and have probably treated me accordingly. When I get up in the morning I endeavor to present my best self to the world. I have found it to be good enough for those I cherish and that are what counts in my book.
http://www.conversationsatthebar.blogspot.com Nicole

I was very fortunate that I had a loving family who always told me that I was smart and pretty. That gave me the confidence to make it through the ugly-duckling phase without too many scars and a realistic and positive sense of self. Up until about 4 years, I was considered attractive, but more of an acquired taste. I was perfectly content with that because I derived most of my self-worth from being intelligent, loving, and a good friend (which I still do). However, in the last 4 years especially, my appeal has become more universal. I think it has to do with really coming into my own and being comfortable in my own skin (and losing about 25lbs). I think that being a late bloomer has allowed me to appreciate some of the attention without me taking it for granted and feeling entitled. Actually, it can be very uncomfortable to get so much attention for your looks when you know you have more to offer than what's on the surface. Unfortunately, particularly for a woman, being attractive opens a lot more doors (literally and figuratively). However, if you're ugly on the inside, it will detract from the beauty on the outside. You can't hide who you truly are under makeup and weaves.
rappublicist

RT @NakedWithSocks: Sometimes the most beautiful people do the ugliest things so read this & reevaluate>> http://nwso.net/2011/01/ ...
http://thecanydshoppe.wordpress.com Ronnie6676

This post is kind of true...As a "pretty" girl who never really felt pretty the stereotypes that life is easier or less tough or that you think you are better than others is a burden. Also people often disregard your intelect or any other non physical characteristics. Personally that is very frustrating. Just my thoughts.
http://thecanydshoppe.wordpress.com Ronnie6676

I actually wrote a post on my site about how a person who others may deem attractive may well not feel that way at all. May actually struggle, as I did for many years, with their looks. "I'm No Video Vixen" http://thecandyshoppe.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/im-no-video-vixen/
nicallyss

Beauty can be a burden. People have been flat out MEAN to me because they THINK my beauty has given me an advantage over them. So they go out of their way to make things especially difficult. The reality is I have had to work harder because of other women's jealousies and insecurities. I have to work harder to "prove" my intelligence and that I have EARNED my way to the top.

Dating has been especially difficult because men come in with all of assumptions. Just because I have options, doesn't make me ho-ish. Nor can I be bought. I am not some trophy. One dude with political aspirations told me "Dating you would be a good look for my career." Seriously?!?! No Sir.
MonaLisa

I'm sure everyone is aware of the fact that people that are attractive have it easier in life, to what extent depends on the individual. I think it also depends on how much the person takes advantage of this fact. For example, there are women who pretty much get by on their looks by being gold diggers, sleeping with the boss, and so on. And there are others who realize they are attractive but would rather get ahead by using their brains and would want to be seen as more than a pretty face.
I would say that I am an attractive woman and I have mainly used my looks to get out of sticky situations. Being pulled over multiple times for going 20 over, swerving out of my lane, not stopping at a stop sign and so on without receiving a ticket says a lot. But other than that I don't think much about my looks on a daily basis. I think this is because of my teenage years, where I was very thin and didn't get hit on by guys a lot. As a black woman (y'all know what it was back then!) the girls that were getting propositioned in high school were mainly the big booty girls and mostly just for sex. I didn't get too much attention from guys until I was a little older (maybe guys weren't as sex crazed?).
I think everyone judges people based on how they look without knowing anything about them, that's what you call a first impressions and honestly, I think it's only human. Again, when I was in high school I was very shy and later on when I started to be more comfortable with myself and my surroundings my senior year people would tell me that they used to think that I was stuck up. Now I truly believe that if I weren't pretty than people would have just thought that I was depressed and quiet.
@NWSO...harpo though? Well damn...lmao
@ Shannon...can you please say how big your boobs are and how you have a banging body one more time? I think I missed it in almost every single one of your other posts. (geez...)
Ronnie6676

@NakedWithSocks you might have to break up a catfight in your comments today...I think it might get ugly
Maya

Im average looking but the way i see it ugly/average people make pretty people look even better. I like building people up, i make my best friend look like a supermodel everyday. While there are times i wish my complexion wasnt ridden with acne scars or my nose wasnt lighter than my face, i look at it all in retrospect. It just teaches me to make my personality even stronger.
juicy2b3

I was never picked on in school, but there were jealous ppl also. So I didn't considered myself ugly or pretty. But I always. Got what I wanted. Nice shape and beautiful breast.
R.e.D

Pretty women can possibly take offense to this post..

Thing is, in the world of the U.S, being black and pretty is almost irrelevant. Unless you are drop dead gorgeous. It is only of consequence in our own circles. Being white and pretty, THEN you rule the world. Ahh, I digress, but back to the point at hand...

Realistically, attractiveness can get you out of some tricky situations, but in all honestly, I've worked my behind off every step of the way in my career and had absolutely nothing handed to me nor do I have this sense of entitlement b/c of some arbitrary physical feature, but perhaps, I'm just not cute enough.
I would say 'unfortunate-looking' people do have it harder than nicer looking folks though. People, i.e men are so driven by the physical, it's sickening. Why do you think women spend sooo much money trying to 'be fly?'

Have you ever judged someone or assumed they’d be a certain way because of how they look? Sometimes sure. But it is usually more a function of how they carry themselves and interact with others. You know, it's a dynamic process that goes on in my mind when I see/ meet people, so it's not just one facet I'm looking at.

Do you expect attractive people to be conceited or dumb as rocks? Conceited-maybe, Dumb- not at all.
What role does the media play in how we view ourselves? Too much of a role for young folks, and all these people/celebs get their boobs done, their noses done, additions to their bottom parts etc. I mean if I did all that, I would be a 10 as well. I don't envy people in the fake hollywood world. I'm too grown for that mess.
Can you look at yourself in the mirror and love everything you see? Of course I don't, but who cares?? I love the inside more. Now this is not to say that I have self-esteem issues, b/c I certainly don't, but just b/c I wake up and don't feel so cute one day cause of some acne, doesn't change how I feel about myself from within.
On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your physical appearance honestly? I don't like to rate myself. I consider myself attractive and when I'm dressed up, it shows.
How do you think someone that doesn't know you would rate you based solely on looks? I will say that I've never been called ugly.
Would you trade places with an “ugly” person for a day? No
cake211

haha i love this post! On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm a ten!!In my eyes anyway LOL Im cute though, and pretty- and I can finally say it without feeling immence embarassment. I dont think that pretty people necessarily have it "easier" than "ugly" people, we just fight different battles. there was a point in my life when I HATED being pretty because i always caught someone's attention, and at that time, i was dealing with some self esteem issues; it really killed me to understand that my "prettiness" would always overshadow everything else thats amazing about me, that some guys just wanted me as a trophy. i appreciate it when my looks get me something, but i never intentionally use it to get things.

ive always had this thing where i never think anyone is ever ugly, in my mind, everyone is super attractive in their own way. sometimes its eyes, or lips or bone structure. I dont tend to judge people on looks because in reality, we will NEVER run out of pretty people, so i dnt get hype on it.
i always hope i never get into an accident where i'm disfigured because i know that it can happen at ANY moment, and ive gotten used to the one i have already
http://thecanydshoppe.wordpress.com Ronnie6676

I see what they mean when you say no convo is private lmao
lcdifoht

@NakedWithSocks Do U really know it feels like to be ugly, I don't?
Shannon

I have never said I have a banging body. Where on earth did you get that from? Besides, not everyone who reads or comments on this blog knows who everyone is; new people comment everyday. If that bothers you, then I will let that be your problem and not mine.
http://theworldoftiffany.wordpress.com/ tiffany

I agree. As PYT myself, I do feel the frustration of people ALWAYS assuming I have a bad attitude. I hang out with men who say, "You are way cooler than I thought you were going to be." WTH? As a teacher when I tell people I teach they more than likely assume small kids. When I tell them I have a Masters in English and teach high school and college it takes the convo in a different direction. It's easy to judge those who are not at this end of the spectrum, but a lot of people do not understand that those fine a** people get judged too, men included.
Kendi

Hmmm...great writing as usual. I was just reading thru the comments and I realized, not even one single girl had a story about being ugly. Everyone went on with how they out grew it or got better. Lol....im just sayin..THATS AINT RIGHT FOLKS!!! Its about honesty.
QuoteMan

Y’all have said it all …………… not much left to be said. But I will say this though, there’s nothing much uglier than the least attractive person with a bad attitude. Seriously, where you going with that?
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

word, where the visually unfortunate folks at?? LOL
MonaLisa

Of course you didn't say those exact words, it's just how it comes across. What does new people commenting and knowing you have to do with anything? Obviously I'm only going by what you posted. And no it doesn't bother me, just making an observation. I actually think it's hilarious.
Ms. B

"Deep down I believe if I didn’t have super-huge boobs and a small waist and long hair, men would take me seriously" #SelfPromoFTW

Hahah, yeah, it's actually quite funny. Not a problem, not hating, just #keepinit100

I just think you should own up to what you've written or at least what your words implied. Hahah.
ms.virgo

Have you ever judged someone or assumed they’d be a certain way because of how they look?
-i noticed that i do not intentionlly but when you live in a world where generalization is the norm it's hard not too i dont like being judged so i try not to judge other people its a work in progress

Do you expect attractive people to be conceited or dumb as rocks?
-well growing up alot of the "pretty" chicks were disgustingly conceied and even more disgustingly stupid smh i don't know if that was just because they were young but now im a bit older (23) when it comes to intelligence i know a lot of badd females who are smart as hell however i do know alot of atrractive people do developed a suprieority complex especially if they were attractive their whole lives

What role does the media play in how we view ourselves?
-when it comes to viewing ourselfs the media plays a huge role the media pretty much says "if you don't look like this or act like that or achieve this you're worthless"

Can you look at yourself in the mirror and love everything you see? Or, are you constantly picking yourself apart in a quest to be “beautiful?”
-in high school my self esteem was so low and i hated how i looked so i NEVER looked in a mirror. i remember one time after gym me and my friends were getting ready for class and they were in the mirror putting on makeup i was off to the side so i would'nt see myself..my friend literally dragged me in front of the mirror and i started crying cause i thought i was hideous. However now i can;t get out of the mirror cause i love how i look and i love who i am on the INSIDE

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your physical appearance honestly?
-honestly i consider myself an 8 im not your typical sexy but i do well for myself lol

How do you think someone that doesn’t know you would rate you based solely on looks?
-just based on looks i dont it could either way based on how i m dressed if im hanging with the homies and i got on my sweats they'll probably overlook me and wont rate me at all but if im with the girls and i got on formfitting clothing proabably around an 8

Would you trade places with an “ugly” person for a day?
-no i dont think i could handle i remember how it was for the "ugly" people growing up and it wasn't nice it still isnt nice till this day

all in all physical appearance is so subjective i mean what makes a person pretty or ugly???
when i was younger all the boys called me ugly but after highschooll those same boys wanted to get with me whats funny about it is if you look at pics from when i was 5 years old to now my face NEVER changed the only difference is i grew in to my heigh and my hips filled out slightly and i got breast now
Karis

just wanna let you know that i'm definitely gonna quote you lol: "the media’s choice become people’s taste and everyone has the same taste but everyone wants to be different. It’s almost cute." say THAT.
Marcia H.

I Marcia H has judge people by how they look. I try my best not to but I fail miserably every time. I will confess to thinking that extremely attractive people are conceited and dumb and mean or all of thee above. The media plays in EXTREMELY HUGH role in how we define beauty! (I could go on and on, but I'm going to leave that answer short) I look in the mirror everyday and love what I see. I'm still trying to figure why most have not acknowledge the fine-ness that is me! (Sorry kinda over did that one! lol)I don't care to know what someone would rate my physical looks. Because I'll either agree or disagree and then it'll have me start questioning my attractiveness and I find it unnecessary. I would trade places with an unattractive person for a day to prove that they don't get the same treatment as "the pretty people".
davidruffin83

Have you ever judged someone or assumed they’d be a certain way because of how they look?
Nope. I don't really look like most people would expect me act or speak and I pride myself on that. A good deal of my appearance and demeanor are based on that fact so I always like to do a little research before jumping to a conclusion about someone.

Do you expect attractive people to be conceited or dumb as rocks?
No. I do, however, have very lowered expectations for the level of intelligence for the average person. I guess it's just a sign of the times and the society that we live in.

What role does the media play in how we view ourselves?
I really can't say I know the answer to this one. People are sheep and some are so impressionable that you could tell them it's all the rage to walk around with dog ish on your face and you can bet you'll start seeing chicks at the club with boo boo smeared on their faces.

Can you look at yourself in the mirror and love everything you see?
But of course. I'm the ish!!

Or, are you constantly picking yourself apart in a quest to be “beautiful?”
I am what I am.

On a scale from 1-10 how would you rate your physical appearance honestly?
I think I am a strong six (I clean up nice!). I'm not the most handsome dude in the room. I know that. But I also know that as a man it is more important how you carry yourself and how you handle your business and personal affairs. I don't have to be a model. I just have to be a little bit smarter than the next dude.

How do you think someone that doesn’t know you would rate you based solely on looks?
I have no idea. I guess it would depend on their personal taste.

Would you trade places with an “ugly” person for a day?
I don't want to trade places with anyone for a day. And who's to say i'm not the "ugly" person you speak of?
bogart4017

This is why i don't use the word ugly unless it applies to an attitude or language.
Aïcha

This "beauty is a curse" thing isn't settling in with me. It's a curse because people put you first but don't think you're capable of anything big? Isn't that how the world goes round? You get some and you lose some. Just like the less attractive are judged by how they look so will the "beautiful" people. It is only but fair.

For the "Would you trade with an "ugly" person for one day" question I am going to quote Rastaman who made an exellent point:'I don’t have to trade places with an “ugly” person because I believe that there are a constituent of folks who will or have deemed me “ugly” and have probably treated me accordingly.'

There is no standard of beauty...the media portray of what "should" is skewed and biased. Beauty is defined and redefined in the eyes of the beholder every single day whether consciously or subconsciouly.
Jayce

Im a 16 year old teenager boy and i will definitely agree pretty people have life 5x easier than most people do. Me? I hate my life. Im one of the ugliest people you will encounter in your life. I've been teased, bullied, ignored and etc. all because of the way i look. In fact I almost hate everyone around me now. Now I can't even stand pretty girls. I try to be the nicest kid around but it doesn't matter, people just take advantage of you, and continue to bully me. Whenever i see a good looking girl my self-esteem hits rock-bottom and i try to get out of the room as fast i can. Believe me, if i was good-looking, life would probably be amazing. They get amazing treatment and have so many friends. When people say it's hard to be good-looking, it's hilarious. In society only three things matter: money, good-looks, and smarts. Some people say personality matters to, but the three things i mentioned before determines your personality. I don't know why i wrote this but i guess it was just to blow some steam.
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

Well, I say hold your head and focus on yourself. As you've seen from the comments above a lot of the "ugly" kids grew up to be alright later in life. You're 16 and high school is one of the most superficial times in anyone's life. We all get hazed at some point.

Looks are always open for debate, but in the event that you got the short end of the stick in the looks department, I say focus on the other things you can control—being successful, smart, etc. But most of all have confidence in yourself. I've seen plenty of unattractive people that compensate with confidence, fly gear and just make it work. But like I said in the post, the real beauty is in your soul. Be a good person and eventually in life people will appreciate that more than anything else.

Good luck
Jessica J

Lol, this made me bust out laughing at my job. You unattractive, and you mean, you getting nowhere lol!
Caribeza

lol, I thought I was the only person who noticed this. Most of the guys were saying "I may not be drop dead gorgeous but I make do", most of the girls were ...different! Funny
torontostaar

Yes i think pretty people have it easier, bu theres downsides to being attractive. I feel very..uncomfortable with my beauty sometimes because of how men leer and stare at me for long periods of time (creeper alert!) and then theres the getting to know other women part...you want ppl to like you for your personality, but women will look at you and decide in minutes that they'd rather not hang out with you. Or worse you see the jealousy in their eyes when they look at you. Its sad actually, i find women who are less attractive seem to have such awesome friendships with other less attractive women, and they'd rather not f with a pretty girl like that.
torontostaar

and yes i do understand how shallow it seems to say that some women wont befriend a pretty girl because it does allow for any self reflection but hey sometimes ya gotta call it like ya see it!
Cally

I gotta say I don't think I've ever found someone truly unattractive... maybe a bit quirky or unusual looking, or offputting (but that's usually after I've gotten to know them).

I've been told I'm attractive, but have never really been convinced about it, mainly because I'm almost 18 and have never seriously been asked out. Regardless of whether it's true or not, I've never had it easy.
Essence

Well I for one know that I'm unattractive. I'm 19 now, but when I was a child I always grew up with the illusion I was beautiful and it was just that people couldn't see it yet. Because of this I when I was young I didn't suffer too many issues based on my appearance. It wasn't until high school that I realized I really was ugly and moreover---it was something I had done to myself. I was teased, rejected, and betrayed by so many people that it tore down my little wall of confidence about my appearance. In turn I became self-loathing against myself as they were me. I can honestly say now that my ugliness is on the outside as well as within.

Anonymous

Peace sis,

Sorry to hear about your journey and your loss of confidence. I think regardless of the cards we're dealt that's where our true beauty lies. Belief in one self. There are plenty of "average" folks that have the swag or even the personality that takes them over the top in terms of attractiveness. And on the flipside there are people that are physically attractive but their inner ugliness makes that null and void.

Regardless of how you may look to some in the world I hope that you regain the confidence that makes you hold your head high and makes you love every thing you see in the mirror. No one's perfect and we all pick apart ourselves all the time. Regardless of whether you think you're "ugly" on the outside I pray you find the beauty on the inside once more.

good luck

blah

nice post. im not attractive what so ever so i could relate to this post.
what i hate the most though is when people tell me "beauty is in the eye blah blah blah". sure, i could tell myself im pretty but it wont change the way other people treat me. and that is the bad and most depressing part of being ugly. being treated like crap. honestly being ugly wouldn't be so bad at all if people were kind and decent to us. i know im not pretty and the only reason why i wish i was is because it would mean i wouldn't get made fun of. i don't want to pretty for the sake of being pretty. i honestly wouldn't even notice or care how i look if other people didn't point it out every time i go outside. Even being average or plain jane would be great. I just don't want to stick out. It sucks though that even the nice people out there subconsciously judge us and even treat us bad. Or we are looked at in pity and people feel they have to be nice to us, they don't want to be nice to us. Ah well, life is like that.
blah

nice post. im not attractive what so ever so i could relate to this post.
what i hate the most though is when people tell me "beauty is in the eye blah blah blah". sure, i could tell myself im pretty but it wont change the way other people treat me. and that is the bad and most depressing part of being ugly. being treated like crap. honestly being ugly wouldn't be so bad at all if people were kind and decent to us. i know im not pretty and the only reason why i wish i was is because it would mean i wouldn't get made fun of. i don't want to pretty for the sake of being pretty. i honestly wouldn't even notice or care how i look if other people didn't point it out every time i go outside. Even being average or plain jane would be great. I just don't want to stick out. It sucks though that even the nice people out there subconsciously judge us and even treat us bad. Or we are looked at in pity and people feel they have to be nice to us, they don't want to be nice to us. Ah well, life is like that.
matt

Its a huge advantage to be attractive. Bottom line is it gets you more of the affection humans crave. But not all is golden. Beauty can be weak. We are in our 20s just 15% of our adult life. As we age our youthful looks fade, every human will experience this. Most people that were pampered in their youth learned that life was easy and grew complacent. In their 30s they start working for the unattractive people they used to defeat. There are some smart hard working down to earth good looking people who will be productive in their youth but most will give all their attention to sex and have a pending crisis, there's good reason why divorce lawyers thrive and why the world is full of formerly attractive forklift drivers and grocery stores check out clerks. Bottom line if someone hits on you that you dont find attractive tell them you appreciate the compliment but you are in a relationship, no need to be rude. Conversely nerds who are bosses, dont stick peoples face in garbage to prove you are smarter, truth is you didnt have the same distractions as pretty people.