Do Church Girls Make Boring Dates? / Being Too Good is Bad

Could you date someone of a different faith than your own? Would you take or accept a date to church? Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes? Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls? Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly? Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul? Are you a saint or a sinner? What are your views on church? Do you think people’s views change once they have kids and they start taking them to church? When was the last time you went to church?
For some reason I have yet to determine, I am one of those brothas who seem to be able to always attract the “church girl” or the woman who is trying to get back in touch with her spirituality. I must be a stop along the way the salvation.
Like you Ans, I did the 12 years of Catholic school and probably several more years of attending all other kind of religious sermons as my mother attempted to embed in me a religious calling. My last visit to a church was accompanying mom on her birthday where I was prayed for and prayed on as she ask the Lord to find me a woman to lead me to Jesus.
I know about Jesus, I don’t believe he is more a messiah than any of the others who claimed the mantle. I admire his basic philosophy though, too bad what masquerades as Christianity today has very little to do with what he tried to teach his followers. Today I consider myself an agnostic, I am not sure there is a God but I know there is a order to life that when we choose to work in accordance with will help our lives to be more successful. I have also evolved in my views of organized religion because while it may not be for me, I have seen that it can be of great value to many others.
I would hope to be with someone who showed a respect for my beliefs as I would theirs and understood that being with someone is a lot more than if you share the same denominational beliefs about God. The last “religious” woman I was involved with wanted my monthly attendance of service with her to be a condition of our relationship. I went once in that 7 month period we were together and she was not happy when I informed her that I would no longer be attending. I had no problems with her weekly attendance; I just know I am not church going type and my idea of God does not involve fear.
My own spiritual belief is very personal, it is not one I spend a lot of time worrying about or reaffirming but that is me. I think that aspect of life is very personal and so woman I am with would need to be ok with that viewpoint. For some folks that is difficult and they have made me quite aware over the years,
I am always puzzled though how so many “God-fearing” single women seem to always be interested in knowing me. They don’t ever meet me in church or prayer services nor do I speak about Jesus, God or ever mentioned being blessed or sanctified. Still a mystery.

Ab so lute ly NOT!

I don't like being around religious people let alone dating one.

It's funny hearing some people spew a bunch of religious mumbo jumbo and have no clue about the actually facts of said religion.

@Syndie, I agree with your statement. To the writer, you contradicted yourself with your response to her.

"And one clarifying point I have to make when I say “church girl” I don’t mean every woman that goes to church, rather a particular type of woman. Basically I wouldn’t label any woman that walks into a church a church girl, but the goodie-goodie type I’m referencing would fall under that umbrella."

In your post you explicitly said that when a girl drops the "C" it makes you weary, (meaning any girl) Now you're saying not all church going females. The majority of black females go to church. It's standard black people activity. I don't see why that should put you off. Before someone even mentions the "C" you should be able to tell by their personality if you mesh. I attend church every Sunday, but I do most definitely do NOT go around quoting scriptures and judging people, nor would I like a partner like that. I'm guessing it's just the church attenders you've came into contact with...

I would agree that NWSO did not do his best work of articulation with this piece and the over use of generalizations is probably a good example. But "...The majority of black females go to church. It’s standard black people activity...." is also generalization.

I think a lot of the men here probably have a good idea of the point NWSO is trying to make, I cannot speak to the women's experience. One of the points NWSO fails to mentions is the fellas who pretended to be religious to get some and they can do that all day everyday too.
It was always puzzling whenever I dated women who behaved in the "church girl" way...because i don't know which was more disappointing that they really in all things they said or they only believed up to a point. It just always seem like it was suppose to be a test.

"It just always seem like it was suppose to be a test..."

This is why I think it's best (and it just so happens to relate to what NWSO was saying when he commented about "C" word.) to only discuss religion/faith in appropriate context. I would feel "tested", too, if a guy brought up the church when we were talking about the current political climate. I'm sure I probably did this to a guy or two #awkward

My computer doesn't allow me to reply, (but slightly off the topic) NWSO in your last response why did you cross out the word female and put women??? Was the use of the term "female" suppose to be derogatory to WOMEN who attend church.

I come from a long line of A.M.E. pastors. My baby brother is even in the ministry. That being said, overly churchy folk irritate me to no end. They are typically the biggest hypocrites or have the absolute worst back story in the state and have the gall to try to call somebody else on the carpet. Verse droppers, like name droppers, are weak and typically verse drop incorrectly, completely out of context, or for a self serving reason. FYI: For all of those who like to try to throw commandments like stones, please keep in mind that while the Bible is a religious text, it is also a historical one. The words that are popularly described as “The Seven Dirty Words” didn’t even exist in the same context, if at all, as they do currently. This is why there is no actual commentary (or commandments) speaking to “dirty language”. F*ck had no meaning in the time of Ramses II (1279 BCE to 1213 BCE).

There's a massive difference between buying in and selling bullsh!t. Just because I listen to guy with three PHD's doesn't make ME an expert without putting in some research work myself. That's where folks get into trouble. Spouting out bits and pieces of hearsay as opposed to actually putting in the work and researching AND UNDERSTANDING for themselves.

Monique, I would love to know where you're from. I don't go nearly as much as I used to, but the ratio appears the same...about 10 to 1. And even thats not accurate when you factor in homosexuals and old men.

The new-age church girl is highly ambitious, single, and tithing. She's still not getting married.

Where are the church girls that get married first???? Ain't no men in church, as we can tell by today's blog..

Could you date someone of a different faith than your own?

I did before and I will never do it again. We were both strong in our faith and that clashed.

Would you take or accept a date to church?

Most def.

Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes?

I've never been called boring, I like to have fun just like anyone else. I consider myself a fairly good conversationalist and can talk on a wide range of subject matter. This whole notion that we run around talking about Jesus in every other sentence is unrealistic. Listen, you will always have fanatics and that is with anything, but I do live in the real world, every day, all day.

Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls?

Of course they are. I love sex just as much as any other woman, I just make the choice to try my best to hold out until marriage. That's not to say I haven't had premarital sex, but I know that I shouldn't have, so I try to keep it tight now. That has absolutely nothing to do with the level of 'freak' someone is. I've read WW when I first came on this blog, but there is no need to tempt myself with such thoughts while I am single. If I was married, I'd read WW every week....Do u see the difference? There is nothing wrong with sex..anyway you want it. The only caveat for us 'church girls' is that it should be with our husband and not the masses.

Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly? Nope

Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul?

Yes. I've come to realize ppl have to come to God for themselves. I can only hope that I exude something Christ-like so people can want to be closer to some Higher being.

Are you a saint or a sinner?

I sin every day, I'm human. So put me in whatever category you want to. God knows.

I see many of you have ran into what some call "Jesus Freaks" and "Super Christians". It's unfortunate because instead setting a good example to others, its really a turn off.
I've been called a goody-two-shoes/church girl, ect..but it doesn't bother me. I go to church every week, teach sunday school three sundays a month, and go to a mentoring program through my church. Now i don't go around quoting scriptures and slapping folks with my Bible, but if the subject comes up i have plenty to say about what i believe in and can back it up. People need to learn that they can do such without going overboard, being pushy and judgmental about it. I'm cool with plenty people who stay away from the church because they feel as if they will get looked down on or they aren't 'good' enough to go. Which is very wrong and in my eyes that means we aren't doing our job as Christians/believers. *Sigh* I could go on forever with this subject.
Also, have taken a date (or two) to church and i'd do it again. It's a big part of my life and if you're trying to be a part of my life you better recognize. lol. But if they go and aren't feeling it that's ok. Well, until i get married..but that's a whole other story.

Love these questions. Most people dont even consider that.

I think it might have something to do with when people get saved, they want to save everybody else. Women are attracted to potential and will project it so far onto a guy that instead of seeing you as Rastaman, the honest man, they'll seeing you with a Bible in your hands, slapping on podiums, making people fall out in every church. So once they see that image, they're attracted, and flock to you.

I may be wrong, but being that I'm a Christian, every Sunday church girl, I used to try to save a lot of guys who never wanted or asked to be saved in the first place. I'm glad I grew out of that but as long as potential is just as attractive as success, those women who are not like you will come to you.

I found this article particularly interesting because I've found myself struggling with same POV for years. Truthfully, I think the writer could stand to be a little bit more committed to his spiritual side for the sake of those church girls out there, but it comes down to being equally yoked. I dabble in the premaritals as well as the non-religious extra-curricular activities as well, but I can acknowledge that I'm probably wrong for doing so.

There are girls out there that'd rather stay on cruise control in their religious walk as well... so, my opinion, it's probably smarter to just keep your eyes peeled for people who are on the same page as you are.

I know who u are talking about! I attend NDCC as well. I heard his testimony, it was powerful. He wrote a book about his life called "Pimp to Paradise".

I've dated devoutly Christian women (black and non-black) before and have a great deal of respect for the Black church....and Islam...and Buddhism...and unfortunately that means it's hard to find a sister I can have a deep relationship with.  Black women are so overwhelmingly Christian that it results in an outlook that's just too conservative for my tastes. The conservative mindset plays out in many ways, including the ones mentioned in the article.  For example, I need to see the natural world the way it is;  people being close relatives of apes, tsunamis and quakes happening because of moving plates not the wrath of god, meteors and dinosaurs, and all that. etc, etc.  I can't have my children raised to be science ignorant in a modern world and have them even more behind the eight ball..

my .02..  

"As in the population overall, African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion (16% vs. 9%)..African-American women also stand out for their high level of religious commitment. More than eight-in-ten black women (84%) say religion is very important to them, and roughly six-in-ten (59%) say they attend religious services at least once a week. No group of men or women from any other racial or ethnic background exhibits comparably high levels of religious observance...."

http://www.pewforum.org/A-Religious-Portrait-of-African-Americans.aspx

Why is it okay to be a die-hard fan of so many things (sports, musicians, etc.), but when someone is totally committed to their faith people see them as limited or fanatic? I thought faith was unwavering belief in something. How can you judge someone for being true to what they believe? Why does it bother you so much? Like you said, they probably aren't checking for you anyway. They know that there are people who believe differently and they aren't annoyed by your decision to live as you choose.