Do Church Girls Make Boring Dates? / Being Too Good is Bad

0 Posted by - February 27, 2011 - Relationships, Love & Marriage, Religion & Spirituality

Saint or sinner?

Like most of us, I feel like I fall somewhere in between the two. While I was named after a saint, I’ve definitely had my fair share of sins in my lifetime. But who hasn’t? Even still, I don’t think I could date someone that was super-religious. That’s no knock against anyone’s faith, but I don’t see my part-time “spiritual” lifestyle meshing well with a sanctified church girl.

Maybe I’m over-generalizing but the women I’ve come across that are into the church heavy tend to OD on it. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with going to hear the word every (other) Sunday, but when you’re in this church committee and that youth spiritual organization and are quoting scriptures in every other sentence it gets to be a bit much for me. That’s not to say I don’t want a “good ol’ God-fearing woman” (or at least what she represents) but I’m not trying to be baptized with holy water every conversation.

Besides, I enjoy premarital sex and while (I’ve heard) some church girls are the biggest freaks there are just as many that keep their nookie cookies in a vacuum-sealed jar with a big sign that reads: “Do Not Open Until Married.” But just to be clear my aversion to church girls isn’t about sex, it’s about lifestyle.

I actually went to church religiously (pun intended) throughout childhood but as an adult, not so much. But that’s not to say I don’t enjoy it when I do go, because when I decided to attend church while doing my version of Ramadan I did get a few words of wisdom from the sermon. In that regard, it really comes down to the church and preacher.

Going to Catholic school for 12 years I always felt service was too boring and anytime I went to a Baptist church it was just too raucous for my liking. I’m not with all that singing and hyperactivity. Just let me hear the word, pay my tithe and call it day.

The other day I tweeted: “Is it weird taking a date to church?”

A girl I used to date once invited me to church and I went. It was the “young people” church that everybody in Brooklyn goes to and I actually enjoyed. Still, it felt weird being in church singing and shaking hands with strangers but I could do it every now and again, just not every weekend. Maybe when I have kids and do what my parents did, but I’m just not in that space in my life right now.

So whenever I meet a woman that drops the c-word regularly it kind of takes me aback like, “Hmm, she’s one of those; I don’t know if we’re going to mesh,” or “She probably thinks I’m a heathen, so let me leave this God-fearing woman alone.”

I know it may seem like a contradiction to the idea of men wanting a “good girl” but there’s such a thing as being too “good.” Not to continue generalizing but I kind of view church girls as being, well, for a lack of a better word, “boring.” I know they go to the club and live life just like everybody else but the image in my head (or the box I place them in) doesn’t stir up visions of my idea of fun times. I imagine quiet nights, filled with spiritual conversations, lots of prayer, long dresses, big flowery hats, crocheting and missionary sex. I’m kidding, but only a little. LOL

I’m far from a heathen (I think/hope) but I don’t see the things that I do for fun or even for a living (have you read Wet Wednesdays?) fitting into a religious fanatic’s world. I have premarital sex, I curse more than I pray, I don’t study the Bible or even subscribe to any particular religion by the letter, and even if I did, professing my faith at every turn isn’t on my daily agenda.

That’s not to say I don’t believe in something. It’s just that my relationship with God is personal and, admittedly, sometimes rocky. While I never claim to be the most religious person in the world, I still have a spiritual foundation. In addition to going to Catholic school for 12 years, my grandfather held weekly Bible lessons in his basement before he passed. So I definitely have a connection to a Higher Power but it’s not an every day thing for me.

With that said, I see dating someone who lived a by-the-book religious life being difficult. She’d want to go to church on Sunday, and I’d want to sleep in. She’d want to quote verses from the Bible, while I’d be quoting Kanye West verses. She’d want to pray for her blessings, and I want to pray for her to “bless” me.  LOL.

One of my exes found God after we broke up and she’s a different person from who I knew. I’m sure if we met today, we never would have dated. For some people religion is just something you check off on a box but for others it’s a way of life. Those are two opposing worldviews that are hard to mesh together homogenously, if at all.

While some may paint me as a church girl-ist (one who’s biased towards church girls) I think religious sisters feel the same way about someone like me. I imagine anyone that’s into the church heavy is looking for someone on the same path as them. That way they go to church together and become one with their congregation and all that jazz because how does Sister Juanita look to her church peers dating (or even marrying) a heathen that would rather watch the game than hear the word?

If I’ve learned anything over the years it’s that most un-winnable arguments revolve around religion, politics and differences between men and women. So what do you think will happen when you combine any two of those three? WWIII or a bad relationship. I can’t and won’t knock a woman for having faith and a stronger relationship with God than I have, but if our core values are different how can we ever forge a healthy relationship together? Yeah, I might entertain the idea of accepting an offer for a church date again but that better not be the highlight of our relationship. #ImJustSayin

Could you date someone of a different faith than your own? Would you take or accept a date to church? Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes? Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls? Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly? Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul? Are you a saint or a sinner? What are your views on church? Do you think people’s views change once they have kids and they start taking them to church? When was the last time you went to church?

Speak your piece…

  • http://lovestutter.blogspot.com Sydnie

    Um, I don’t know how I feel about this post. Admittedly, you are generalizing A LOT about women who attend church. I think what I am reading between the lines though is that you aren’t quite comfortable with your own religious or spiritual situation. If you were, I don’t think you would worry so much about what a more religious girlfriend might think of you. Naturally you are going to be with someone who accepts you for who you are. That could be someone who goes to church every day or never. Spirituality is an individual thing. I think you might be doing yourself a disservice by writing someone off because they drop the “c” word a lot.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Peace, sis, appreciate you for reading between the lines. Was kinda hard to fully articulate my thoughts but I think I said what I wanted to say, it’s just about folks reading between the lines as you did.

    And one clarifying point I have to make when I say “church girl” I don’t mean every woman that goes to church, rather a particular type of woman. Basically I wouldn’t label any woman that walks into a church a church girl, but the goodie-goodie type I’m referencing would fall under that umbrella.

    Thanks again…

  • Chrissy

    Im not a religious person at all and I cant see myself dating someone who was over religious, like you described in the post. I find people like that to be a turnoff and I’m sure they feel the same way about me. However, I have no problem dating someone of a different faith as long as they weren’t so deep in it. I’d prefer the person be liberal. Ummm I find that people who go to church all the time think they’re better than you and look down on you (even though they do the same thing you do), but I see why they do that. So yea we’re not compatible.

  • EmotionalFUnk

    I don’t date people at all who are deeply religious or very into the church. Since I’m not at I just think its would be just too selfish on my part to and prefer to date people who have similar outlooks instead.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    Well I’ve been “saved@ since 8 , grew up in a Methodist/baptist/non demoninTional family filled with preachers and evangelists….trust me church goers hate overly churchy people too…call that “Too heavenly bound to be earthly good.”
    I sin, curse, have had my share of premarital sex…but it’s about YOUR relationship with the most high not anyone elses….I like a god fearing woman but not read the newspaper obituaries looking for funerals to go to.

  • JC

    I know someone that I would describe as a “church-girl” although she is a middle aged-married mother of 3. Hearing her on a daily basis gets under my skin so I know that dating someone like that would never work.

    My relationship with God is a one day at a time thing and even if it becomes an everyday thing I am not the type of person that likes structure when it comes to expression of beliefs. I have no problem dating someone that has a religious or spiritual background (no matter what faith) I can respect their choice as long as they respect mine to probably not step foot in a church unless it is a wedding (not ours…if marriage comes a judge will perform) or funeral.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    My sentiments exactly. No real need to add anything else to this. :-)

  • http://Twitter.com/sunsetsarefree Sunset

    I’m not particularly religious either; I enjoy the spiritual journey that life takes me on. I think I could be with someone who was religious, but they would have to be very open-minded and I would hope they were open to exploring religions/myths/spirituality in the same way that I am, even if they remain faithful to their religion of choice.
    To be completely honest, though, I think most devoutly religious people would consider me a heathen, b/c I don’t believe in some of the basic tenants of most religions (i.e., original sin) and I’m quite a free spirit. I’m always concerned that I will be judged. And I am aware that it is judgmental to assume that someone would be judgmental. Lol.

  • SistahChef

    @NakedWithSocks Sure My church lasts 1 1/2 hrs. I would struggle with dating a COGIC brother, who’s in church ALL DAY Long…*sigh*

    • SistahChef

      @NakedWithSocks Church of God in Christ…Church starts at 10:00 a.m., and it over about 3 p.m. PLUS, they have mid-week services…LAWD!

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    I can date somebody who’s a “child of the universe” but marriage we need to be equally yoked. A follower of Christ not Christianity …so my wife would need to be the same…
    Don’t really understand the “child of the universe” thing…seems kinda flaky to me

  • http://Www.twitter.com/sunsetsarefree Sunset

    I am one of those “children of the universe” that you speak of. I can certainly understand how it would seem flaky, as many people who ascribe to this belief system seem to be bitter and, well, they’re often flaky.
    For me, religions always seemed to confining. Everything was divided into pieces (god separate from man; man separated from woman; (wo)man separate from animals, etc.). Once I embraced that I am a part of everything that is, was, and ever will be (including God, other living things and nonliving things), I began to feel whole. Hence, child of the universe.
    I guess it’s all about what works for you personally.

  • Rastaman

    Could you date someone of a different faith than your own? Would you take or accept a date to church? Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes? Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls? Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly? Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul? Are you a saint or a sinner? What are your views on church? Do you think people’s views change once they have kids and they start taking them to church? When was the last time you went to church?
    For some reason I have yet to determine, I am one of those brothas who seem to be able to always attract the “church girl” or the woman who is trying to get back in touch with her spirituality. I must be a stop along the way the salvation.
    Like you Ans, I did the 12 years of Catholic school and probably several more years of attending all other kind of religious sermons as my mother attempted to embed in me a religious calling. My last visit to a church was accompanying mom on her birthday where I was prayed for and prayed on as she ask the Lord to find me a woman to lead me to Jesus.
    I know about Jesus, I don’t believe he is more a messiah than any of the others who claimed the mantle. I admire his basic philosophy though, too bad what masquerades as Christianity today has very little to do with what he tried to teach his followers. Today I consider myself an agnostic, I am not sure there is a God but I know there is a order to life that when we choose to work in accordance with will help our lives to be more successful. I have also evolved in my views of organized religion because while it may not be for me, I have seen that it can be of great value to many others.
    I would hope to be with someone who showed a respect for my beliefs as I would theirs and understood that being with someone is a lot more than if you share the same denominational beliefs about God. The last “religious” woman I was involved with wanted my monthly attendance of service with her to be a condition of our relationship. I went once in that 7 month period we were together and she was not happy when I informed her that I would no longer be attending. I had no problems with her weekly attendance; I just know I am not church going type and my idea of God does not involve fear.
    My own spiritual belief is very personal, it is not one I spend a lot of time worrying about or reaffirming but that is me. I think that aspect of life is very personal and so woman I am with would need to be ok with that viewpoint. For some folks that is difficult and they have made me quite aware over the years,
    I am always puzzled though how so many “God-fearing” single women seem to always be interested in knowing me. They don’t ever meet me in church or prayer services nor do I speak about Jesus, God or ever mentioned being blessed or sanctified. Still a mystery.

  • Lonias

    “…the women I’ve come across that are into the church heavy tend to OD on it.”

    I’ve been this woman, and I WAS boring. I am FAR from criticizing anyone’s lifestyle, but I, Lonias, needed a change. I had (have) hidden God’s Word in my heart. And not by way of someone else’s understanding — I’m a scholar of EVERYTHING I set my mind to understand…including the Bible. I started realizing a few things to be true:
    1. If someone (especially a man) wants to know what I believe, they will ask.
    2. If someone I choose to spend time with/consider turns out to hold a belief system in direct conflict with mine, I can respectfully make that known and keep it pushing.
    3. I’m a grown*@% Woman! There are things grown women should know, recognize and do, or else come across as naïve. I’m a lot of things, but naïve isn’t one of them. I came to the realization that my perceived naiveté was the thing that made me unattractive and boring.

    So, I’ve changed some of my own behaviors for me, and I’m happier for them. I’m probably still boring to some, but a “church-girl” I am NO MORE.

  • da ThRONe

    Ab so lute ly NOT!

    I don’t like being around religious people let alone dating one.

    It’s funny hearing some people spew a bunch of religious mumbo jumbo and have no clue about the actually facts of said religion.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    I respect that…it is all about love an understanding please be a child of the universe…but I hate the bitter folk who need to down the Abrahamic religions… What purpose does that serve..

  • http://www.speakresponsibly.blogspot.com Somethin Special

    Mmmmmm ok interesting read. I definitely think there was some general comments made. But I understand where it comes from. Some may call me a “church girl” but no one would call me boring or my lifestyle. I go out and have fun and I’m in church every Sunday. I don’t curse but that was something I didn’t do before I was saved anyways. Yea I’m a leader for the youth step team so I’m in church one or two days during the week for practice but again people wouldn’t call my lifestyle boring. I listen to secular music, I’m not a stranger to premarital sex, don’t quote scriptures every sentence. I don’t know I just feel like some people are assuming I’ll judge them and not want to date them. I’ve been saved 4yrs now (though I grew up in church I dipped out at 15) and I’ve dated guys from church guys I met at events whoever. I wouldn’t trust anyone who was overly religious MYSELF. I think its really about finding someone your comfortable with. As long as he is respecting my beliefs then we don’t have a problem. If a guy has a relationship with God then I’m good. I don’t like taking guys I’m seeing to church with me. If he wants the word I’ll let him know the service times he can make it do what it do. If it were a serious relationship and we were attending the same church then ok. That’s just me though.

  • ms.virgo

    i know what you’re saying while it is a big generalization you’re making it does hold truth !!!! some time ago i dated a guy who was a church “freak” no disrespect to those who attend church but it’s true !!! he went to church tuesdays thursdays and sundays and played in a christian rock band. we could’nt have a conversation without him quoting the bible. i’m not a church goer i don’t like church at all i think its alot wrong with it but i do believe in GOD i like to keep my relationship with GOD between me and GOD not me GOD the preacher the preacher’s wife and who ever else…..
    it just makes you self concious dating someone like that because you always feel you’re actions are wrong or being judge. there’s no way you can date someone who is so religious live life out the bible and have them accept you the way you are when you live a non or partially non secular life, especially if they claim one religon and you claim none. its a disaster waiting to happen !!

  • bosslady

    @Syndie, I agree with your statement. To the writer, you contradicted yourself with your response to her.

    “And one clarifying point I have to make when I say “church girl” I don’t mean every woman that goes to church, rather a particular type of woman. Basically I wouldn’t label any woman that walks into a church a church girl, but the goodie-goodie type I’m referencing would fall under that umbrella.”

    In your post you explicitly said that when a girl drops the “C” it makes you weary, (meaning any girl) Now you’re saying not all church going females. The majority of black females go to church. It’s standard black people activity. I don’t see why that should put you off. Before someone even mentions the “C” you should be able to tell by their personality if you mesh. I attend church every Sunday, but I do most definitely do NOT go around quoting scriptures and judging people, nor would I like a partner like that. I’m guessing it’s just the church attenders you’ve came into contact with…

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    Well, to clarify further. Dropping the C-word throws off the proverbial “red flag” as stated in post, then can ascertain if the individual is a casual church attendee or a deeply entrenched “church girl.” Hope that clarifies things for you.

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    Oh, and curious what does being “saved” actually entail? Is there some sort of ceremony or procedure or just a matter of going back to church regularly after an extended departure?

    And what do you call the un-saved?

  • http://www.speakresponsibly.blogspot.com Somethin Special

    Being saved just means that you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior. Whether thay is during alter call or after a really bad night you are now saved according to scriptures. That doesn’t mean your perfect just that you acknowledge Jesus and are allowing yourself to have a relationship with him. After I got saved I still cursed I still had sex and all that but eventually I stopped some if not all. You slip you tsk you just ask for forgiveness and actually try not to do it again. There is some debate that in order to be saved you have to be baptized but that isn’t true. Like I said I grew up in church so I never made that decision. I left at 15 came nack at 24 and consciously made the decision to be Christian. The unsaved are just that: unsaved. They haven’t “believed in their heart AND confessed” it. Whether you go to church regularly doesn’t unsave you Haha..some folks just backslide..such is life. We’re all human no one is perfect…but we all have the spirit of God in us(in my opinion #noshots at any atheist or agnostic folks)

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    Being Saved says that even if u live a “good” life you still must confess your sins and accept Christ as savior..to him there’s no big sin nor little sin
    just sin

  • da ThRONe

    As much as I dislike being around people who go overboard I do respect them. Why believe in something that you think is a serious as religion then half-ass it? IMO you either buy into the faith 100% or don’t waste your time.

  • Rastaman

    I would agree that NWSO did not do his best work of articulation with this piece and the over use of generalizations is probably a good example. But “…The majority of black females go to church. It’s standard black people activity….” is also generalization.

    I think a lot of the men here probably have a good idea of the point NWSO is trying to make, I cannot speak to the women’s experience. One of the points NWSO fails to mentions is the fellas who pretended to be religious to get some and they can do that all day everyday too.
    It was always puzzling whenever I dated women who behaved in the “church girl” way…because i don’t know which was more disappointing that they really in all things they said or they only believed up to a point. It just always seem like it was suppose to be a test.

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    Unfortunately and sadly, I don’t recall encountering many church boys/gusy in my travels. Most if the devout religious types I’ve seen were generally female women. I admit my generalizations throughout but they were also at the heart of the “logic.” As long as you get the uneasy “feeling” I’m talking about

  • http://pseudo-celeb.blogspot.com Tori D.

    I guess I would kinda be considered a “church” girl although I don’t fit the long skirts, scripture-quoting, going to church every time it’s open description. I think the thing with dating a super religious person would be the same as a person who was a “fanatic” about anything. Just like I couldn’t be with someone who was all about sports 24-7, I couldn’t be with someone who was all about church 24-7. I believe most people seek out a balance, and those who go to the extreme are likely to only attract (and only be attracted to) those who share the same intensity or passion about their beliefs.

  • http://nwso.net Gemini

    My friend and a few of my cousins attend church regularly even bring the New Year in Praising the Lord. They are also the first ones to crack the cap on the Absolute. They are a fun bunch.

  • Lonias

    “It just always seem like it was suppose to be a test…”

    This is why I think it’s best (and it just so happens to relate to what NWSO was saying when he commented about “C” word.) to only discuss religion/faith in appropriate context. I would feel “tested”, too, if a guy brought up the church when we were talking about the current political climate. I’m sure I probably did this to a guy or two #awkward

  • Older & Wiser

    The unsaved are called the “unsaved” Ans, ;-) .

  • prettyp

    My computer doesn’t allow me to reply, (but slightly off the topic) NWSO in your last response why did you cross out the word female and put women??? Was the use of the term “female” suppose to be derogatory to WOMEN who attend church.

  • Older & Wiser

    I think it all boils down to dating people who has similar interests to yours regular/irregular church attendance included. Relationships are already hard enough, smoother sailings come to those who have a LOT in common thus minimizing the chance of being unequally yoked (active Christian vs. Less active or non-Christian). My mom always said to “cut the cabbage right the first time” meaning start off the way you want to end up. Don’t date someone you couldn’t see yourself with longterm just keep it moving even if they are physically attractive to you. Problem solved, Fin!

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    No, there’s been some debate going on the past week about the term “female” being offensive to some women. I (and a few others here) on the other hand see it as a biological and factual term for the, uhm, female of a species and use it interchangeable with lady, woman, girl, etc. I was writing female and then thought about the debate and crossed it out.

    That’s all, no further attack on “church girl.” I come in peace

  • Lyndon

    My dad was a pastor and I developed a strong dislike for the church contradiction. I wouldn’t mind giving a Super Christian a chance, I just can’t stand hypocrisy. So many devout Christians stand firm “only” on what’s convenient for them. I don’t mind being judged by other people, just keep it consistent. And that’s where these types go wrong. Most men in the church are walking talking contradictions and most church-girls are two minutes removed from a threesome. As evidenced by Facebook updates (jk), the holiest ones have the most to hide.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    “The majority of black females go to church. It’s standard black people activity.”

    Major generalization. What about Black Muslims (NOI or Sunni or Shiite or other Muslim sect)? Black Buddhists? Blacks atheists? Black agnostics? Blacks who practice Ifa? Santeria? Voodoo? Black Catholics? Black Jews (not counting Israelites for now)? Blacks who don’t practice anything at all but believe in a deity or deities (god or goddess)?

    Just wanted to clarify this because while quite a few Black Americans (I won’t even touch Black Europeans or Blacks across the Diaspora for now, that’ll take too long) attend church and/or consider themselves Christian, it’s not what we all do. Let’s not put ourselves in a box.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    Well it does have truth to it
    how many black athiest are there really?
    That’s like saying there’s black leprechauns …especially around my way

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    My boy is a Black atheist actually and I interviewed him for this discrimination story:

    http://www.blackenterprise.com/2011/02/14/religious-discrimination-in-the-office/

    And I’ve blogged about dating an atheist here:
    http://nwso.net/2009/06/26/could-you-date-an-atheist/

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Black atheists aren’t the only group that I pointed out though; I pointed out a few other groups that aren’t Christian. That’s still a major generalization.

    The number of Black atheists has grown/is growing; they may not be the majority but folks would be surprised at their fast growth. Got at least 2 Black atheists friends and they have other Black atheist friends and etc.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    That’s the only group I can’t rock with. Never undestood their line of thinking.
    Tend to keep those circles out my square… Need my friends to yoked with me on that issue… Too much in the world not to see a higher power … That’s just me

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    And you’re entitled to whatever you wanna believe. Just understand that your view may be limiting the friendships that you could have. If you’re alright with that, hey. It’s all good.

  • Corey

    I come from a long line of A.M.E. pastors. My baby brother is even in the ministry. That being said, overly churchy folk irritate me to no end. They are typically the biggest hypocrites or have the absolute worst back story in the state and have the gall to try to call somebody else on the carpet. Verse droppers, like name droppers, are weak and typically verse drop incorrectly, completely out of context, or for a self serving reason. FYI: For all of those who like to try to throw commandments like stones, please keep in mind that while the Bible is a religious text, it is also a historical one. The words that are popularly described as “The Seven Dirty Words” didn’t even exist in the same context, if at all, as they do currently. This is why there is no actual commentary (or commandments) speaking to “dirty language”. F*ck had no meaning in the time of Ramses II (1279 BCE to 1213 BCE).

  • http://thebdss.com Si

    @ Lyndon, ‘two minutes removed from a threesome’ – thats made my night hahaha!

  • Corey

    There’s a massive difference between buying in and selling bullsh!t. Just because I listen to guy with three PHD’s doesn’t make ME an expert without putting in some research work myself. That’s where folks get into trouble. Spouting out bits and pieces of hearsay as opposed to actually putting in the work and researching AND UNDERSTANDING for themselves.

  • http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

    I hear you but honstly don’t see what we would have in common. It’s more of if you don’t believe in a higher power and that’s such a big part of me…it’s almost an insult at the core of it
    but that’s just me talking
    Faith runs very very deep where I’m from

  • http://alvinmilton.com AGDM

    This is what I say and take issue with the majority of certain church folk… Take them to task on some things and the conversation can go in circles because the “knowledge” they possess has no foundation or as you said they have put in no work.

  • http://alvinmilton.com AGDM

    I have dated a couple women who went to church multiple times per week. Part of you says, hey what the heck I’d give it a chance… But it wears thin when that person isn’t available most of the time, or when that person’s family is just as involved in the church… you can see where it comes from and also that you don’t fit in the equation.

    Funnily enough the holier than thou types are just as prone to sinning or doing things against their faith as a more secular person, which is why I truly don’t get the judging behavior…

    That said, I could appreciate someone wanting to better themselves through knowledge but I’d never date someone with tunnel vision. Take that how you want.

  • http://www.sevetriwilson.com Monique

    We all know… church girls are the first to get married or at least where I’m from.

  • http://robyninrealtime.tumblr.com rw

    me, being a christian baptist, entertained a year and half with a gent, who had just come ‘home’, and who would wake up and have to deliver the mathematics to the other gods

    its over.

  • Lyndon

    Monique, I would love to know where you’re from. I don’t go nearly as much as I used to, but the ratio appears the same…about 10 to 1. And even thats not accurate when you factor in homosexuals and old men.

    The new-age church girl is highly ambitious, single, and tithing. She’s still not getting married.

  • DH

    “Maybe I’m over-generalizing but the women I’ve come across that are into the church heavy tend to OD on it.”

    Yes. There is an over generalization. You never really get to know someone until you live with someone. People know how to “act” in public so that you see who they want you to see. At my high school in MS, the girl who was covered up with the most clothes was the one who was rumored to have been with half of the football team. I was randomly told this by one of the football team members one day because the girl was in the band with me.

    As far as your Wednesdays- plenty of Christian women read erotica.

    As for your questions:

    “Would you take or accept a date to church?”
    Yes

    “Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes?”
    Nope. Some people that don’t go to church are more sincered and honest that those in the church. There are all kinds of people in church. One of our church ushers is a former pimp. He told his testimony in church one Sunday. He seems to be the nicest man from a far. I have never spoken directly to him, but he is always saying “Thank You Jesus” throughout the service. You would have never known that he used to be a pimp. I believe he is just glad to be alive and glad to be delivered from his former lifestyle.

    “Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls?”
    Yep. Most are.

    “Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly?”
    Nope. Because I go to church regularly.

    “Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul?”
    It would depend on if I was going through a time when I needed encouragement and prayer. We all have low points in life.

    “Are you a saint or a sinner?”
    I don’t think I have ever considered my self as either. I have a personal relationship with Jesus that involves me talking to him regularly.

    “What are your views on church?”
    I’m not sure what you’re asking on this question.

    “Do you think people’s views change once they have kids and they start taking them to church?”
    It depends on if the person was active in church before they began having children.

    “When was the last time you went to church?”
    Yesterday.

  • R.e.D

    Where are the church girls that get married first???? Ain’t no men in church, as we can tell by today’s blog..

  • R.e.D

    Interesting blog today. Seeing that I am a ‘church girl’ I was busy fasting today, so I missed the convo.
    What you are doing is putting church people in a box. In fact, you’re putting God in a box. I cannot fault you for feeling this way, in fact I undertand it completely. You see, people that don’t go to church have this ‘idea’ of what a Christian is and what one should look like. I don’t fit the ‘look’ at at all. And I’ve come to realize that God couldn’t care less about superficial things. So what if I wear make-up, or get my hair and nails done, or wear pants etc…He only cares about what is on the inside.

  • R.e.D

    Could you date someone of a different faith than your own?

    I did before and I will never do it again. We were both strong in our faith and that clashed.

    Would you take or accept a date to church?

    Most def.

    Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes?

    I’ve never been called boring, I like to have fun just like anyone else. I consider myself a fairly good conversationalist and can talk on a wide range of subject matter. This whole notion that we run around talking about Jesus in every other sentence is unrealistic. Listen, you will always have fanatics and that is with anything, but I do live in the real world, every day, all day.

    Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls?

    Of course they are. I love sex just as much as any other woman, I just make the choice to try my best to hold out until marriage. That’s not to say I haven’t had premarital sex, but I know that I shouldn’t have, so I try to keep it tight now. That has absolutely nothing to do with the level of ‘freak’ someone is. I’ve read WW when I first came on this blog, but there is no need to tempt myself with such thoughts while I am single. If I was married, I’d read WW every week….Do u see the difference? There is nothing wrong with sex..anyway you want it. The only caveat for us ‘church girls’ is that it should be with our husband and not the masses.

    Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly? Nope

    Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul?

    Yes. I’ve come to realize ppl have to come to God for themselves. I can only hope that I exude something Christ-like so people can want to be closer to some Higher being.

    Are you a saint or a sinner?

    I sin every day, I’m human. So put me in whatever category you want to. God knows.

  • R.e.D

    You did an entire blog on an atheist-(I didn’t read it yet) but you didn’t take the time to interview a ‘church-girl’ and see what it entailed? This blog is pretty one-sided today..What about the woman you previously dated??..that would’ve been a nice compare and contrast, like a before and after, u know…I’m just rambling, I’m going back to work now…

  • TayTayG

    I see many of you have ran into what some call “Jesus Freaks” and “Super Christians”. It’s unfortunate because instead setting a good example to others, its really a turn off.
    I’ve been called a goody-two-shoes/church girl, ect..but it doesn’t bother me. I go to church every week, teach sunday school three sundays a month, and go to a mentoring program through my church. Now i don’t go around quoting scriptures and slapping folks with my Bible, but if the subject comes up i have plenty to say about what i believe in and can back it up. People need to learn that they can do such without going overboard, being pushy and judgmental about it. I’m cool with plenty people who stay away from the church because they feel as if they will get looked down on or they aren’t ‘good’ enough to go. Which is very wrong and in my eyes that means we aren’t doing our job as Christians/believers. *Sigh* I could go on forever with this subject.
    Also, have taken a date (or two) to church and i’d do it again. It’s a big part of my life and if you’re trying to be a part of my life you better recognize. lol. But if they go and aren’t feeling it that’s ok. Well, until i get married..but that’s a whole other story.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Fellow agnostic here. This sums up my sentiments even better. :-)

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Thanks, good article. It’s too bad that religion is used as a determining factor for friendships/acquaintances, workplace relationships, etc. At my last job, there was a clique of “church girls” (grown women, actually) who talked sh!t about the assistant director because she wore a lot of black & grey, which had to mean that she was a witch. They couldn’t get past the fact that not all Black people are Christians. Because at the end of the day, the way she helped run the organization didn’t matter; the fact that she was a (potential) witch was most important. :-| All of the “church girls” left the job and that was part of the reason why.

    She shoulda sued their asses. :-| But she stuck it out and they left the organization. Her “witch powers” must’ve worked because the departments that the “church girls” ran actually improved after they all left, going from being in danger of the programs shutting down to being one of the best improved departments in the organization. :-| ;-)

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    Those folks annoyed me when I attended church and still annoy me to this day. I remember at one of the last times I attended church, this visiting pastor said “Don’t act like you’re holier-than-thou and better than others when the 1st time you met Jesus was on your back.” Dude got a standing ovation for that….. from me and a bunch of other folks.

    (Sorry y’all. Seems like I have a story for everything. :-| )

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Schiffon Schiffon

    Could you date someone of a different faith than your own?
    Not unless he was open to conversion. My husband was not a Christian, however when he expressed a desire to be with me he knew what I was about and I explained that I would not marry someone who did not share my common foundation. From that first day, he accompanied me to church and he converted shortly thereafter.

    Would you take or accept a date to church?
    I converted when I was 19 years. I broke up with him at the time of my conversion because I knew that he and I were on different paths. He was an observer to my process of seeking God and was present at my conversation. He accompanied me to services on a few occasions.

    Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes?
    I understand the sentiment behind the questions. It’s about your perspective and what is fun versus boring to you. If sin is exciting to you then someone who is trying to abstain from sinful things would relatively seem boring. However, my church family and I regularly get together and have Valentine’s Day dinners, travel together, have had throw back parties, go shopping, out to dinner for birthdays, cultural events, bowling, roller skating. That appears normal and fun. Now, you might not find us in the club doing our drink and two step and yes, I was abstinent for a long period of time, but there is more to a fulfilled life then cursing, fornication, and debauchery.

    Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls?
    I am married and have a very healthy, passionate, intimate, and uninhibited sex life with my husband.

    Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly?
    It is actually very attractive.

    Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul?
    I do believe you can pray for people without informing them about it. I have people and family who aren’t Christian and I don’t preach to them all the time. But, at least once during our relationship I have encouraged them to consider their soul and that this world is temporary and that there is a God whom they should seek and how He has blessed me. They now what I am about, they see my life, and they know that they have an open invitation to church and/or bible study. They also know that I love them regardless of our religious differences. To my knowledge none of the non-Christians in my life feel judged, isolated, unloved, or pestered by me.

    Are you a saint or a sinner?
    I obeyed the gospel nearly 13 years ago and I have been walking in the light and working our my salvation with fear and trembling ever since. When I sin, I confess, repent, and the blood of Jesus cleanses me as I try to follow his footsteps.

    What are your views on church?
    I attend services every Sunday and go to Bible class as Christians are encouraged not to forsake the assembling. Going is edifying to me and feels like a privileged because of my love for God and what He has done for me and is doing for me. Going to services if not the fullness of my worship. Each day, I try to live in a manner worthy of the calling, submitting to being transformed to be more like Him and do the things and have a heart and mindset that are pleasing in His sight. It is a lifestyle, not a Sunday activity.

    Do you think people’s views change once they have kids and they start taking them to church?
    I think many think that church is for the children. However, this is problematic in many ways as children see your example 24/7. Taking them to services on Sunday is nice, for exposure, but what children need is consistent training in the Lord and if you and your spouse aren’t living the life, those children know if, resentment about hypocrisy sets in, and they are done a disservice as they don’t see the power of God working in their own households. Those children typically stop attending church as soon as those teenage years come.

    When was the last time you went to church?
    You’ll find me there every week.

  • http://www.nwso.net NWSO

    Devil’s advocate (no pun intended).

    If your husband is the love of your life (I imagine) why was it your religion that he had to convert to? What if his religious foundation was different but just as strong as yours, would you walk away from him and the potential life that you now share because his faith was so strong in a different religion that he refused to turn away from HIS God because in his eyes that would be a sin?

    The thing about religion is, everyone thinks that theirs is the “right” one. I’m sure/assuming you see it as a sin to follow another faith so wonder how you feel about having your husband/someone follow yours and rebuke their own. If he or his parents were more religious would they view you as this converting heathen that stole their son’s soul.

    Might not apply fully to your situation specifically but interested to hear how you would answer.

  • Chrissy

    Love these questions. Most people dont even consider that.

  • http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

    I read the article and actually, most of it is about people who worship a Higher Power. His friend’s part in the article is small. So nope, it’s not just about his atheist friend and it’s not one-sided.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Schiffon Schiffon

    Yes, my husband is my great love. He was of no religious affiliation at the time we came together. For his conversion to be effectual he, like any other person needs to have belief. If, hypothetically, he was Muslim, and believed that the Koran was the truth, he would have never been able in good faith to convert and similarly, I can force my faith on someone who fundamentally believes something different. But, if he believed that the Koran was the word of God we would not have been able to be together. I am sure it would have been emotionally painful for both of us, but marriage is challenging enough. God is my foundation and my Christianity is central to who I am, where I am going, how my household functions, and how I would parent our children. We wouldn’t be aligned as a family without us being on the same page and I wasn’t going to go that route.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    I can respect that and figured he wasn’t that religious so it wouldn’t have been a big deal… but appreciate your honesty and response

  • Jessica J

    I think it might have something to do with when people get saved, they want to save everybody else. Women are attracted to potential and will project it so far onto a guy that instead of seeing you as Rastaman, the honest man, they’ll seeing you with a Bible in your hands, slapping on podiums, making people fall out in every church. So once they see that image, they’re attracted, and flock to you.

    I may be wrong, but being that I’m a Christian, every Sunday church girl, I used to try to save a lot of guys who never wanted or asked to be saved in the first place. I’m glad I grew out of that but as long as potential is just as attractive as success, those women who are not like you will come to you.

  • Jessica J

    This entire post seems so crazy because I know I just recently asked you a question on a former post similar to this. If I had of asked it before you posted it, I would of thought this post had something to do with my question lol.

    On my part, I am a church-going girl. Every Sunday, pay tithes and offering, and read my Bible or scripture if not everyday then every other day. When guys see me and ask, “What you been up to?’, I say, “Work, school, and Church.”

    I have and still do see my relationship with God and my beliefs run men away. But for different reasons. Because I wouldn’t have see. Because I didn’t agree with them smoking, or drinking themselves into comas every night. Because they cursed so much I couldn’t hold a decent conversation with them.

    At the same time, I’ve seen my relationship with God make a lot of men idealize and aspire to me. They say things like, “When I get older, you’re gonna be my wife.” “You are gonna make such a good wife.” “In 5 to 10 yrs, I hope I get a woman like you.”

    I used to date the men that obviously, from day one, showed that they don’t live like me. And I did what a lot of women do and grasped on the potential they had, and used that as an excuse to get into a relationship with someone nothing like me, and try to change them. The end result: I am with none of those guys today, and they’re with girls that behave, think, act and live just like them.

    I grew up a lot when I realized that people can’t change people, only inspire them. Only God can change people because He is the one who made the design. So I stopped dating guys like the guys in my past, and found enjoyable friendships with men from all backgrounds; friendships where at the core of the relationship was respect for each other’s beliefs and choice of lifestyle.

    I do aspire to be married to a guy who lives for God like I do, and doesn’t just want to wait for sex because I won’t sleep with him, but wants to wait because that was his lifestyle way before I came along. Your post to me Naked basically says that you would be unequally yoked with a church girl because of the life you lead and that to be deserved respect because your honesty should be much appreciated.

  • FloatyBoat

    I found this article particularly interesting because I’ve found myself struggling with same POV for years. Truthfully, I think the writer could stand to be a little bit more committed to his spiritual side for the sake of those church girls out there, but it comes down to being equally yoked. I dabble in the premaritals as well as the non-religious extra-curricular activities as well, but I can acknowledge that I’m probably wrong for doing so.

    There are girls out there that’d rather stay on cruise control in their religious walk as well… so, my opinion, it’s probably smarter to just keep your eyes peeled for people who are on the same page as you are.

  • http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker

    checking in late…as a guy that grew up in the church…

    Could you date someone of a different faith than your own?
    (No. i would say the probability of this happening is 1% at best. lucky for me, it seems like there are more black male atheists, than black female athiests.)

    Would you take or accept a date to church?

    (I would take a date to church/go to her church…but it wouldn’t be the first or second date…it would probably be later on down the road. my church home is where my ‘extended family’ is, and i’m not introducing someone to them if i’m not super sure she could be the “one”.)

    Do you view churchgoers as “boring” goodie two-shoes? Or do you think church girls are just as big of freaks as secular girls? Are you turned off or on by when you hear someone goes to church regularly?

    it really doesn’t bother me, except that if you have nothing to talk about except Scripture verses. I’m sure Jesus would be happy that you know the Bible back and forth, but He would be more happy if you used your abilities and your talents and your knowledge to help your fellow man.

    Would it annoy you to date someone that constantly tried to preach to you and pray for your soul?

    i dunno about ‘constantly tried to preach to me’…the women i know, that i grew up with, were pretty much cool…and tried harder to walk the right way, than talk the right way…we ain’t perfect, but (for the most part) we do what we can.

    Are you a saint or a sinner?
    (definitely not a saint, i know i sin, and i hope i can be forgiven when i ask for forgiveness.)

    What are your views on church?

    (Church is a gathering of likeminded individuals, or so i thought…it’s not just a matter of going over the Bible, but a refuge from the craziness of the world, and understanding that while your walk with God is a personal walk…you are not alone in “having that personal walk”. Churches should be a spiritual refuge for its members, and also a resource for the community it pastors in.)

    Do you think people’s views change once they have kids and they start taking them to church?
    (I dunno)

    When was the last time you went to church?
    (a long time. I’m kind of attached to my church (been going there, including time away out-of-state for school…20 years)…however i work in a different state on Sundays, and i rarely get a day off. however my church has a bible-study/meeting-up for those around the same age as i (22-32)…unfortunately i’ve been picking up extra shifts, so i haven’t been to that either…)

  • Sash82

    I know who u are talking about! I attend NDCC as well. I heard his testimony, it was powerful. He wrote a book about his life called “Pimp to Paradise”.

  • http://twitter.com/aisha1908 aisha1908

    ironically, I’m a Christian who has never met a woman such as the one described in this post. Now, I’ll admit, I’ve never really attended a black church (aside from a visit or two), so maybe this insulated me from the flowery dress type? I don’t know – last thing I would want to do is jump to conclusions about my fellow church-going sisters in Charismatic/Baptist/Pentecostal/AME type churches. I do have a question for the author though… Suppose the woman you were interested in spent 20 – 30 hours a week doing grassroots activism for some issue you didn’t find to be important (think of something random… like protesting the use of wind turbines in Ireland). Would you be as bothered with the activism, thinking she was “OD’ing” whenever she brought it up to you and invited you to join her & her activist brethren? Or would you be willing to recognize activism as being a part of her identity? Without knowing you, something tells me that you would probably be more accepting of the activism. So maybe there is some anti-religion bias that you should explore. If that does exist, then it will be extremely difficult to attract a “church going” woman if you belittle something that is so important to her.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Hmm. It all boils down to the same thing: lifestyle. If her activism was “overbearing” and not something that meshed with the way I chose to live I don’t see it working. We’d just be in two different spaces in life. Religious difference, just like political are at the core of who an individual is. If we can’t see eye to eye on our view of the world how can we forge a lifelong relationship?

    But if her activism fell in line with my beliefs and I were open to the idea of exploring them with her that’s a different scenario.

    No anti-religion bias just and anti-over-religious bias. Like I said I have a religious background but it’s not part of my ever day life. And if someone is entrenched in something I’m not it just makes for a mismatch.

    Didn’t mean to come off like I was belittling anyone’s faith because I’d like to believe I’m respectful of everyone’s beliefs. I just don’t see it working at this stage in my life if your faith is greater than mine. Why waste their time if we have different life goals.

  • Carolyn

    Like NWSO comment and I think it was respectfully siad. I think all things should be done in moderation, including going to church. I am a “church girl” if you would like to use those terms. there is nothing wrong with enjoying life outside of church. god made this world for us to enjoy and bask in the gloriouness of his creations. I give God my time in worship and I also give time to other aspects of my life. My husband and I are both Christians. wehn we dated we did many thiings together both religious and ad some woudl call them secular thing together. But as NWSO stated we both were of like minds so we gelled very well! so dating a church girl can be exciting if you are both like minded! :-) Stay blessed everyone :-)

  • Anonymous

    I’ve dated devoutly Christian women (black and non-black) before and have a great deal of respect for the Black church….and Islam…and Buddhism…and unfortunately that means it’s hard to find a sister I can have a deep relationship with.  Black women are so overwhelmingly Christian that it results in an outlook that’s just too conservative for my tastes. The conservative mindset plays out in many ways, including the ones mentioned in the article.  For example, I need to see the natural world the way it is;  people being close relatives of apes, tsunamis and quakes happening because of moving plates not the wrath of god, meteors and dinosaurs, and all that. etc, etc.  I can’t have my children raised to be science ignorant in a modern world and have them even more behind the eight ball..

    my .02..  

    “As in the population overall, African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion (16% vs. 9%)..African-American women also stand out for their high level of religious commitment. More than eight-in-ten black women (84%) say religion is very important to them, and roughly six-in-ten (59%) say they attend religious services at least once a week. No group of men or women from any other racial or ethnic background exhibits comparably high levels of religious observance….”

    http://www.pewforum.org/A-Religious-Portrait-of-African-Americans.aspx

  • Guest

    Sounds like you need to date someone who shares the same values and lifestyle as you do.  A woman who is committed to her relationship with God first -void of religious phrasing, behaviors and dress is very attractive and fun to be around.  If you met a woman who has understanding in that light and how to walk out her Christianity you probably wouldn’t want to date her because she wouldn’t compromise. She wouldn’t want to date you either. 

  • Lydia

    Why is it okay to be a die-hard fan of so many things (sports, musicians, etc.), but when someone is totally committed to their faith people see them as limited or fanatic? I thought faith was unwavering belief in something. How can you judge someone for being true to what they believe? Why does it bother you so much? Like you said, they probably aren’t checking for you anyway. They know that there are people who believe differently and they aren’t annoyed by your decision to live as you choose.

  • AllenIverson100

    These typical church girls are not all that complicated. In reality they do what they want to do. Church, God etc is operationally used as an excuse for what ever behavior they DO NOT want to do.
    If they had a shot at an NBA player with a devil tattoo on his head, sex on the first date if not before.
    As far as the behavior of a typical church girl goes once money, power and fame come in the picture your relationship with Jesus and all other forms of mental masturbation get flushed rapidly, You want to cry Hypocrisy? That’s what church is all about, Hypocrisy. The typical church girl is by definition a hypocrite and wannabe gold digger.  

    There are exceptions but they are rare in a venue with voluntary participation.  If you had a situation where church particpation was compulsary you would have many more exceptions.

    Bottom line is the typical church girl is going to do what she wants to do. If she is not interested buying her dinners and other junk will make no difference, you are just wasting money and more importantly your valuable time. Why feed a disinterested girl when she can get an EBT card for dinner.

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  • Crystal

    Well, I’m a year late to this discussion, but I would also like to add that while I do understand what you mean by a particular ‘type’ of church-going girl, you also seriously don’t have to be ‘bad’ to have fun. 

    Some of my liberal, non-churchy friends are the most boring people I’ve ever met. They go to the bars on Fridays… and they get toasted… and..? My church-going friends, on the other hand, grill chicken on Fridays, make swords out of wood and duct tape, and build two-story couch forts. I’m not sure why I’d pick going to a bar over that.

    Just my two cents. I can see how it would be kind of pressuring to date a conservative, no-premarital-sex, church-going girl, since I am one and my boyfriend is not, but just to say that being religious doesn’t mean you don’t know how to have fun. :P

  • TC

    This is an awesome view of things. I’m a hard core young church girl. I respect your position about church girls. I think I will quietly pray for you.

  • Mike

    I use to go to church. It was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day-Saints. (Mormon).

    A friend from high school invite me to the Bible Study, I met some nice people and the others were rude to outsiders like myself. It’s was kinda crazy. They two young guys in suits called “LDS Missionaries” in the singles ward like anywhere from 18- almost 30, mostly single and unmarried couples. There’s a little that I agree and the rest I’ve done research myself, it turns out to be a colt. Other people from different religions said the LDS is a hoax and the Profit Joseph Smith might’ve been drunk and was seeing things that where’nt there or out of place. I went to the service on sundays to witness what the Mormons do. It’s from 12:30 to 4:30, what they do is that they have two classes before the Sermon which they have a different name that I can’t even spell it. The class is for the men to review the Bible (The book of Mormon), and the next class is quoting Bible scriptures and at the last the Sermon.

    They also said you can’t go anywhere after the service, going straight home except dropping off other members from car pooling because that church don’t even have a van or bus. Parking is madness getting out. Which mean you can’t run errands, go out to eat, talk or even watch tv after you get out of church which is very boring.

    Some if the people guys I’ve meet may look cool from outside like for example If a dude with a nice fanny car or cool truck with rap music blasting with the bass of the subwoofers which are the big speakers, using slang and using profanity, going to bars, wearing the latest trends of fashion, being cool and all are being phonies or posers. The rest were geeks, nerds, dorks, and Mr. Nice Guys who can’t get girls.

    The girls I’ve meet where very shy, some were rude, the girls who are pretty were boring, some were plain, and they don’t date guys who drink beer, smoke, uses profanity, use slang, chases them and they think I’m too much of a bad boy for them.They don’t know what fun is in the real world outside of church. They don’t have a sense of humor like I do. There’s no connection or nothing in common. Except there was this pretty Mexican girl that I like and she’s not like the other girls in the church. She go the the events or the service when she feels like she has time since she lives on her own and work two jobs. We both speak Spanish to each other a little bit which I’m she’s fine for me, she has her own friends outside the church like I do.

    Anyway, I don’t think dating someone in that same church is a good idea. Like if things don’t work in dating wise and don’t feel if a relationship wouldn’t work, it would be very awkward to bump into each other every sunday for the rest their life. And if works, then everybody is gossiping about how good the couple are like they’re a hollywood couple and pressure them into marrying each other or getting divorce quick. They tend to rush into a relationship when it hasn’t been a month of dating or rushing into getting married when it hasn’t been two years of a serious relationship. After getting married, the couples have kids when it hasn’t been two years of being married. They gotta enjoy the married life first before having children to avoid divorce after children. They like to have too many kids in the household which is very expensive to raise a family. I am an only child and bills are cheap. And also they like to spoiled the kids with everything. I’m not a spoiled brat, I have two jobs and I pay for my bills with my own money.

    Mormons can’t drink beer, tea, juice or coffee. Really?
    No sex before marriage, what if someone isn’t planning on getting married and have safe sex without getting sick or have kids?

    They’re as outgoing either and staying two years on a mission on a foreign country not keeping contact with the outside word?

    I rather have a job, go to school part-time to get a career and then get married to have a family. Make something with my life instead of being a loser or a full-time student with no job getting into debt for the class.

    What made me left is the church was rushing me to get Bapitize when it wasn’t a year that I was attending. My parents don’t not like the idea cause they are Jehovah’s Witness that only read the bible than going to church. And the LDS Missionaries are finding ways to get the religion the way of my life and changing by going a Mission.

    I do believe in God, and I try to do the right things in life with common sense without getting myself in trouble with the law. I’ve never been in jail or been on drugs. I do drink sometimes without getting hammered drunk. I couldn’t date a girl goes to church very offen that get in the way of things.

    And I am also very sorry if I offended anyone.

    Have a good day, everyone.

  • Justanon:P

    No because there usually much more smarter, elegant, and absitence
    -Church Boy

  • Charles in Germany

    Flip the Script. What about Sisters that date church men??? Are we boring too for loving Jesus????.Then we are ” unequally yoked”

  • Maxx Wiskers

    Most church girls are duds. That being said modern American Christianity would literally dissolve without hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is the life blood of Christian thinking. When it comes to any issue of security or confidence the kookiness factor in Christian circles can get pretty high, sometimes comically. You get a lopsided slice of the local populace as joining is voluntary, so you will be missing certain types of girls in churches.

    Different religions like the forced worship of the Kim’s in North Korea gets the whole populace and again extreme hypocrisy is the norm. In Islam you have enforced inbreeding, which by default more or less effects the whole populace. That’s what keeping women covered and escorted by a male relative is all about, typically they have arranged marriages with cousins. This creates a whole different set of problems and hypocrisies.

    This is my experience with church girls. The trash can hoe, the more you abuse her the better she behaves. And you have the superior to all others kind, again not very appealing. I hardly find ether of these very satisfactory. There is much better quality to be had elsewhere hence I avoid most church girls like the plague.

  • Marcus D Edge

    So true and that’s why none of you have men or husbands in your life because you’re so unbelievably over religiously boring boring boring!.. And you live your lives continuing to do nothing about it or your failed appearance and later you in fact grow old and get quite ugly with your old too serious looking face’s and you continue to get so far out of touch with a man’s desires that you serve no purpose to him at all. Then you act even more ridiculously religious to the point where man don’t want you and at all and God doesn’t fix you either. this is called being given over to a reprobate mind because God didn’t call just one he called both of you for relationship and to be together so if you don’t have a man then something is seriously wrong in your understanding of God’s purpose for you. Yes I’ve watched church ladies for five decades now and I see nothing but the same thing going on everywhere. So forget about me generalizing all of you and consider the fact that you are all alike in most respects and in the same situation. and you’re experiencing the same thing is that nobody wants a boring church lady!
    So don’t get mad and pray for me telling you the truth about yourselves… Pray for yourselve’s and the truth about your true situation, because God did not call you to be single !.. You are single and with out a man in your life or a husband because you are out of context and contact with his will for you and your life as a desirable woman of God. That overwhelming serious church lady behavior and conduct is undesirable to a man.
    Fact.