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Could You Date Someone That Was Bisexual?

Posted by NWSO • February 28, 2011 • Printer-friendly

WORDS BY IRANTYOURAVE

Could I date a bisexual man?

I posed this question to myself after hearing a student tell her boyfriend she was gay for one of his friends. It amazed me how open most of the current generation is, so I questioned if I could date a man who not only liked but had also been with men. I couldn’t really see why I couldn’t be, but I wasn’t totally comfortable with the idea. I began posing this question to my online friends, and folks on Twitter, mostly women, responded with a resounding NO!

But why not?

I think it’s about labels, society in general and penetration. The idea of another man penetrating a man is big reason many women hesitate. They can’t see their man with another man, yet the idea of female homosexuality or bisexuality (more labels), is quite acceptable—it’s even encouraged. But when it’s man-on-man, the social taboos linger even when they have no validity.

Some women who were openly bisexual or open-minded understood the perspective of a bisexual man and wanted the same respect so they were more willing to date, engage and be with an openly bisexual man. I understood but wasn’t convinced as to whether I could support or take on the role of openly being with a man who has loved other men with no judgment.

I was able to process the question further with the aide and guidance of @AskABiSexualGuy (I swear he’s my new best friend, in my head, anyway…). I was able to ask open and honest questions and he answered accordingly with equal sincerity.

Here’s where those conversations led me to discover:

1. I hate labels (and I don’t use the term “hate” often).
I believe the issue with most of this is the labeling. Who would care about who was sleeping with whom, as long as everyone was safe and it was healthy? The label of bisexuality doesn’t matter to me as long as while he is with me, he is with me—he shouldn’t be anything but mine. He belongs to no other man, or woman, he is with me. Still, I have to consider how his labeling by others will affect me. Will I now be known as the woman who dates the bi guy? Am I now queer by default? I like my life to be just that, my life. If I were fucking six men, I don’t want to be labeled a hoe, no more than I want someone to know how many men were in my bed at any point and time. Same with the man I am dating. But I understand the need for labeling and identifying for oneself. As a friend I can support and encourage their choice, as an individual, but within my personal life, I don’t think I’d want to be so open, so labeled.

2. I’ve kissed men who kissed other women and liked it.
These men have even feasted on the nether parts of said woman, or women and I didn’t think twice about that (well I do, but…). A man who has kissed another man or done things I haven’t even done (Not even going into that right now…), I question and I’m not sure as to why. A gentleman once tried to get me to perform fellatio on him by saying, “It’s just skin.” So why is it okay to be with a man who’s been with other women in a way I don’t desire but not a man who’s been with another man in a way I possible have? To do otherwise would only make me a hypocrite.

3. He’ll desire and want for what I can’t provide.
This is a concern and issue that lies even in heterosexual relationships when a man prefers women of a certain physical characteristic, race, or socio-economic class. A man into women can leave for another desire, just as a bisexual man can, and the thought that he’ll leave for another woman is less the concern than him leaving for another man. What if, just what if, he doesn’t. As a woman if he has a need or sexual desire, are you willing to explore it to keep not just a bi man, but a good man? Someone said there are studies that say bi persons tend to be more monogamous. If out of their choices they choose you, are you not willing to give the chance to see what they may be offering?

4. Many women were okay if they found out after they had been dating.
No. No. No, I want honesty up front, not because I think he should have to discomfort himself, but because I deserve the choice, just as I’d expect a straight man who I had intentions for to be open about himself; a person not willing to disclose themselves and hide maybe a deceitful person. I don’t get why some women are okay with being with someone not willing to be open, honest and vulnerable. Can you even create love in a dishonest relationship?

I believe all people deserve to be as open and honest about themselves as the next. To live the most happy and healthy life as possible and if the one I am with doesn’t feel that for whatever reason, I’m not doing him, nor myself, any good. Will I make an effort to date a bisexual man? No more than I do any other man. I intend to not judge him any more than I judged the guy I spent time with who’d previously done porn. I had to gauge myself and know my level of openness and know when it was or wasn’t right for me. I feel this is the same for someone whose sexuality is more open than my own.

Following my great conversations with @AskABiSexualGuy discussing his lifestyle and hearing about him with another man doesn’t affect me any more than hearing about a man with another woman. Maybe I’m numb, or I’ve evolved fully into this world we’re now living in, tomorrow I may see this all differently, but I know for certain I’d rather date an openly aware man, bi or exploring, than a closed off man of any kind.

Could you date someone that was bisexual? If so, could you ever truly trust them not to stray? Would you be more concerned about them cheating with someone of the opposite or same sex? Would you be upset if someone kept that part of their life a secret from you? Would you give them a fair shot if you knew when you met them? Would you engage in a threesome if your partner was bisexual? Would you be upset if your ex explored their bisexuality for the first time after y’all broke up? Do you see bisexuality as the best of both worlds or just being confused? Could you marry someone that was bisexual without wondering if they’d leave you for someone else? Any bisexual readers that care to share their experiences?

Speak your piece…

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Tagged as: bisexual, cheating, date, faithful, intimacy, IRantYouRave

_CaliBred

@NakedWithSocks I know woman couldn't date a man switching hitting, but a guy would be like shit, let's get it poppin
Lyndon

Has it really gotten this bad for women?

"tomorrow I may see this all differently, but I know for certain I’d rather date an openly aware man, bi or exploring, than a closed off man of any kind."

This is one instance where the risk is greater than the reward. If a brotha tells you he likes men, I understand respecting his honesty, but maybe you could just pray for him...and walk away. Or yall go shopping. I would hope you are as open as he is and share with future guys that you have or would date openly gay men. It's only fair
ALIG83

I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a bisexual man.
PrettyPrissyPetite

Would I date a man that's bisexual? YES. Who you had in your bedroom before me doesn't matter. Because it was BEFORE me.

Would I be worried about him cheating? NO. It's no different than worrying about a straight man cheating.
amazonink

@NakedWithSocks what the...huh?
http://www.celebkiller.com Jluntz74

I never understood why us guys have no problem dating a bi chick, but most women would never date a bi guy. If it is about cheating, it doesn't matter if a person is straight, gay, or bi. If they going to cheat it will happen, if they want to commit to you that will happen.

I think if more women will say that they can understand a man's past being his past, you would have less DL guys. Most of them probably don't keep it real, cause they know women will not even get to know them if they are honest.

Great topic and great article.
iranturave

Lyndon
Why is it ok to date, accept and be with openly bisexual women, but for men its a mortal sin? and why should I pray for a bisexual man any more or less than I pray for a man who sleeps around a lot?
religion benefits the sinner only when its not their sin.
and you might be amazed at how many men are closeted bisexuals, they guy you play basketball with, the guy you graduated high school with, dude you work with, kat you gave a pound to in passing at the barbershop.
Those are more the ones I'd worry about when it comes to risk and reward.
http://anticomplicated.tumblr.com/ CantPlsEvry1

I have an issue with dating a bisexual man. Period.
http://anticomplicated.tumblr.com/ CantPlsEvry1

I feel that had the author actually experienced this scenario she would find it a bit more complicated than she makes it seem. I give a great big 'hoo-rah' to those who think that they can handle it but I know I cant.
http://anticomplicated.tumblr.com/ CantPlsEvry1

I was in a situation where I dated, fell in love with, and had sex with a guy who later admitted to being bisexual. He told me several months after he broke it off with me and my initial response was a dead silence. The moment he told me my brain started to turn cartwheels with the questions I had but dared not ask. I had questions like: "did I do something to make him want to test the other side?, Did he decide that he was bisexual while we were together?, Are his friends (who i thought were questionable in hind sight) also his potential interests?, Is that why we have sex as much as i thought two 20 something's should? hmmm... I didn't ask because I knew i couldn't handle anymore of this "new found honesty". I was barely over my broken heart and to bear any more was just WAY too much for me. He has since (years later) asked if I would consider being in a relationship with him again. My answer is clearly "no" because I would not trust him to not leave again and I can barely deal with the thought of my man sleeping with another chick let alone the guy he is "roommates" with. That relationship has definitely had a weight on my dating routine and I admit that I sometimes think in the back of my mind..."what if he likes guys too?" I know its judgmental but I also question men who are as straight as the lines on college ruled paper lol

kickittome

I have been in this situation exactly. I also dated, fell in love and had sex with a guy who never admitted to being bi sexual when we were together but I later found out the truth. I had always suspected foul play in the time we were together. Things just didn't add up, phone calls, visits at nigh, planned holidays away together etc. Too many secrets. His 'friend' never met me but they spent a suspiciously high amount of time together until I broke it off with my boyfriend. He wasn't expecting it and was shocked with my decision as he didn't want to lose me. As it only happened last week, I am still nursing a broken heart but I felt like the decision to leave him was a blessing in disguise, he sounded relieved but saddened. As a consequence I I too question whether men are really as straight as they say they are on internet dating profiles. Would I date a guy who told me he was bi up front? ABSOLUTELY NO WAY! There are too many issues to sort out with finding a straight man to connect with, I do not need the added stress of competition from men as well, for me I only want a straight man who is also looking for the same thing. Honesty is important regardless of your sexual orientation, that is all anybody wants right?

http://anticomplicated.tumblr.com/ CantPlsEvry1

Its a tough call...I just want a choice in the matter. That is all that I ask. Hell, its hard to know in a world where some men don't consider having sex with other men to be gay or bisexual for that matter. ***I apologize for this chopped & screwed response but its the only way i could get it to post :/
Lyndon

"Why is it ok to date, accept and be with openly bisexual women, but for men its a mortal sin?"

I'm not into it. Two women kissing does nothing for me. I prefer a woman. My type. Some dudes like it, but believe me it's simply a lustful fantasy. I don't know any that would take an openly bi sexual woman seriously.

"why should I pray for a bisexual man any more or less than I pray for a man who sleeps around a lot?"

I don't know if you know this but AIDS is spreading fast (specifically among black women) and guess who's the culprit. It's a dangerous game that I would hope women would avoid if they knew what was up.

ANd I know full well that there are gays in sports...shit everywhere. I aint trippin on that. It's been here and not going anywhere anytime soon. But frankly the stakes have changed. There are too many eligible men to willingly take that risk
Anominous

labels aren't only a hindrance, a potential for social awkwardness, they distort reality. For as long as people think there are only gays, straights and bi's, they won't be able to see the grey areas. i know a girl who is straight but fell in love with another girl, were together for 5 years, broke it off, and one was interested in both guys and girls, while the other just went back to dating boys. you don't fall in love with genders, but with people.
Chrissy

Im bisexual and I dont think labels are a hinderance. I actually think they are a good thing. And some people do fall in love with 'genders'

But to answer the question... yes I would date a man that was bisexual if I liked him a lot. Im bisexual but I lean gay so i would really have to like him. I think dating a bisexual man would be best for me.
Chrissy

Well Im a bisexual woman the prefers to date women but I would date a man if I liked him a lot and i felt like he wasnt trying to use me for my bisexuality. Luckily I havent met men like that.

Sullman27

Too bad you haven't met me! Your bisexuality is part of your identity and when I care for a woman romantically, I couldn't care less if she was bisexual! You either take her as she is or don't take her at all! Good for you Chrissy! Wish there were more women like you! In fact, I have found through my own experience that bisexual women are more honest than heterosexual women. Seem to be smarter too!

Chrissy

I actually dont have a problem with labels and it bothers me when people say 'I dont like labels, I think we should get rid of them.' People who say those things havent seriosuly thought about what they're saying. It takes a lot of confidence to say what you are, especially if you are queer. Plus I dont see my sexuality as a 'label.' If we got rid of labels all together then the default is straight, so for people who strogly like the same sex that is a problem. Well for me anyway....
Chrissy

I think this was a good topic. I personally believe everone has a right to be prejudice when it comes to dating. So if you're a heterosexual woman and you dont want to date a man that likes men, then you have a right to do that and the same for heterosexual men or homosexual men/women.
JC

Actually AIDS is spreading fast among the heterosexual community because of unprotected sex between heterosexual partners... The Gay community has been and is on top of trying to keep the statistics down. Notice I said "trying to keep the statistics down" within the Gay community.
JC

One of my dearest and most cherished friends was bi and open and while not physical ever happened between us his male lover was jealous of me and our friendship. I really do think it is all about YOU as a person and what you can handle. I was so young at the time...didn't even know what love or sex for that matter was, so it didn't faze me. When I was in my late 20's I got back in touch with V (the male lover) and we spoke about that time and his jealousy. He was jealous of me because I was something that he wasn't to M. It didn't matter that I was a woman. V was jealous of anyone that showed M attention. What he was jealous of was the fact that I could hold M's attention when he couldn't. For lack of a better phrase "I gave him something different"

Would I date a bisexual person now?- I don't know. If someone came along I would think about it, heck that even goes for a woman. I'm at an age where I don't like labels and all I want is to be happy with the person I end up with.

Of course I would want to be told upfront...this is a subject I want to have a choice in making...same would go for a heterosexual partnership and my mate was thinking of cheating...I want to know that your eye has wandered.

I had a threesome, with 2 brothers. I mention them being brothers because the same jealousy I encountered with V, I had with one of them in the aftermath...and it wasn't worth it. Great experience and hell of a story but in the end one couldn't handle it and it ripped apart their relationship apart. Threesomes are best with strangers IMHO, lol

Cheating will happen regardless of sexual orientation.
JC

There is still a bit of stigma when it comes to AIDS, in my eyes...why should "everyone" else be on point when some still see the disease as a "Gay problem".
Lyndon

Let's be real. It's men dishing it out. Women are more likely to get it from men than the other way around. And men are getting it from other men then passing it on. From the church to the prison, it's happening all the time.

I understand the gay community may be on top of it. But to further my point, if they are on it, so should everyone else.
Lyndon

I get your point, we should all be cautious. The fact remains though that the chances are higher for a woman to contract from a man than vice versa. So stigma or no stigma, for a woman to knowingly go into a relationship with a bi-sexual man is high risk. But I guess for some it's all the same.
MonaLisa

NOOOO! I can not picture another man bending over my man like he is a woman. The sheer thought of it, in my opinion, takes away from his masculinity.( Not to say that openly gay men can't be masculine.)
Also, I agree with Lyndon, the risk for HIV is on another level. It is very difficult for a man to be contracted with HIV from another woman but it is fairly impossible for a woman to NOT contract HIV from a man. If you think about why that is, it will be easy to come to the conclusion of why HIV spreads at rapid rates in the gay community. If I was going to get cheated on I would rather my man cheat with another woman than a man. No thanks.
My first and only love, that I was involved with for over four years, told me that he was bisexual about a year after we stopped messing with each other. Of course I was totally taken aback because, in hindsight, there were absolutely no signs. My first thought was why was he telling me this now? My second thought was, why did he choose to make that decision for me? He told me that he didn't tell me because I wouldn't want to mess with him anymore...well DUH! I honestly think that he didn't tell me for fear of being judged. After he told me I wasn't mad and I still have love for him to this day.
About labels...if your bi than your bi, if your a ho than your a ho. Deal with it.
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

Ladies is it that bad now a days?
That you would honestly considered a gay man?
Notice I said gay because for a man to make that commitment dudemust really like penis...
There's plenty of non gay guys for you to date... Why would you even want that in your life? At all
ew
it's neverr THAT bad ladies
please believe
http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com/ NikkiB

GREAT POST.

I love the part on labels - and I've written about this in the recent past too. We need labels to identify and move about our world (language is pretty important to us), but labels can also be a hindrance.

YES I agree it is important to be upfront about your sexual past, but the past is the past. Cheating is cheating. Gender shouldn't be an issue - it should be about THE PERSON. Period.

Finally, we have SO much work to do on opening hearts and minds to the fluidity of sexuality that exists in our world. Women and gay men are able to experiment, but straight guys, or bi guys, have much less choice. They are labeled far more quickly. Dan Savage does this subject justice, and is hilarious as always: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS2my1FN_A4&feature=player_embedded
http://karidoesabudhabi.wordpress.com Kari

This is a tough one for me. A year ago, It would have been a definite no. I think with my own experiences and experimentation, I think i'm now more inclined to be open to dating a bisexual man. It would still take a lot of soul searching for me to agree but I think I could do it. I think bi men get the short end of the stick while bi women are more easily accepted. I think we should accept people for who they are and it would definitely decrease the number of men on the DL that we deal with.

As far as cheating: If a man is a cheater, he will cheat. It has nothing to do with being with another man. If he wants to be faithful, he will be faithful. As for the HIV/AIDS comment, I think it's unfair to say that we're putting ourselves at more risk by dating bi men. If a man feels he can be honest with you about who he is and what he wants, he's less likely to go and sneak around on the "DL." Also, as mentioned earlier, HIV is being spread in the heterosexual community by heterosexuals. Everyone needs to protect themselves regardless of the sexual orientation of their partner.

http://www.karidoesabudhabi.wordpress.com
OSHH

HELL NO!!!
And I also HATE the rationale that if only us women would be more accepting of bi men then they wouldn't have to lie blah blah blah, which is a total crock of BS. You don't have to lie ANYWAY.
How about not being so greedy and selfish not mention cowardly that you would outright deceive folks in such a trife manner and then try to blame women for having preferences. GTFOHWTBS
OSHH

"you might be amazed at how many men are closeted bisexuals"

I'm not amazed, my eyes have opened and the blinders of naivete' removed. I am well aware and can SEE quite clearly now.
It's MUCH more prevalent than most would care to know.
ClassicAlexis

@NakedWithSocks LOL, I didn't read the article yet, but it's not fair. A bisexual man is GAY and bisexual woman is CURIOUS.
nflgossipgirl

@NakedWithSocks I can't be with a man who is touching another mans penis w/his mouth, hands, booty or any other body parts! He's gay.
Ms_M

@NakedWithSocks uhh yea.. its usually hard when gay men try to date women.. smh lmao
Rastaman

Having been down that road before, it is not for everyone as it requires you to assess the whole person not only their sexuality. Other than who they may have had sex with most of these people are just as messed up as the rest of us, so it would be an error to ascribe to them some out of the ordinary sexual morality. While it is not necessary to share all aspects of our sexual history with a current partner it is important for that person to be aware of anything that may impact them. I don’t know of any hard and fast rules about what activities have to be revealed but it may be better they hear it from you than someone else.
Rastaman

There is obviously less stigma for women with lesbian histories than men with gay histories, it is another of life’s double standards. In my limited experience women who have had relationships with women and also date men do have some difficulties transitioning between the different relationship styles. It is important to note that if the person is not a freak type sexually, the fact that they are bi-sexual is not going to increase your chances of a threesome. Gay folks are just as sexually conservative as straight folks.
Rastaman

Whether that person engaged in sexual acts after they left our relationship is not something I care about. Bi-sexual behavior can be a sign of confusion but I doubt all bisexuals are confused. After all we are all wired differently and some people are turned on by different acts. There are acts that some straight couples enjoy that others label “gay”. If you are worrying that your prospective spouse may leave you because of a bisexual past, you probably are not ready to marry them because you obviously don’t trust them.
JC

I really don't know about the lesbian stats. When I did volunteer work (albeit a few years ago) it was within the male gay community.
JC

The two never did anything with each other, lol. It was about ME and either watching. At the time it was extremely erotic, being wanted like that but in the end...straight out of a Shakespearian play.
JC

LMAO...hardly... I used to say with all the sinning I have done if I step into a church I would burst into flames, lol
Chellz

I would never date a bi sexual man. I don't need a reason why. I think women that do are desperate. Their are plenty available straight men.How can you write about a topic and never been in the sitaution. I didn't even read the whole thing, I flat lined after she started justifing why you should consider dating a gay man.

I work in a health facility. I need people to save those AID's statistics. I see it day in and day out. Most the people who have AIDs are gay men. New cases are usual due to down low men. The women catching it, are from BI sexual men. Save it. Start working in a clinic and then we can discuss AIDs. I'm not saying homosexuals dont have AIDs. 99.9% of the people I see with AIDs are BI/GAY men.
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

JC

Does that include lesbian stats as well? Since there's no condom wondering what the preventative measures are there in their physical relationships and that tied to their rates of transmission
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

Wait, brothers? Like related and born from the same womb, brothers? Uhm... that's a tab bit... ghey

You got yourself caught up in some old sibling rivalry in the worst way.
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

SMH and you look so innocent like a "church girl" LMAO j/k
QuoteMan

Color me bias, narrow-minded or what have you, in my book, bisexuality only applies to the female gender. A dude is either straight or gay. And I'm going to stick my neck out and say there's no such thing as a bisexual dude. If a dude is into "back door entry", he could try that with a chick. But if on the other hand, he wanna be the one on the receiving end - he could have sex with all the chicks in the world - he's GAY in my eyes and should be in yours. Lol.....
http://www.karidoesabudhabi.wordpress.com Kari

I think to say that women who date bisexual men is a bit presumptuous and unnecessarily judgmental. Could it not be said that these women may just be a little more open minded concerning the issue than you are? No one says a man who dates a bisexual woman is desperate. I think its unfair to place that "label" on women who are open to the idea.

Also, if 99.9% of the men you see in your clinic are gay men, I wonder, what percentage of the men that come in are straight. Most of the straight men that I know are much less likely to get tested for HIV than the homosexual men I know. Could that have something to do with the disproportionate amount of gay men who are diagnosed?
JC

Ah, men with double standards...such narrow minds you have.
2 sisters with 1 man is perfectly fine I'm sure...
JC

Clever...as if I have never heard that before, lol. I didn't come between them their jealousy towards each other did. If it hadn't been me it would have been some other girl. They had issues way before I came into the picture.
JC

My experience my definition. How I saw and how I felt.
JC

@MonaLisa, Like I said...they never touched each other, never said nothing about me not touching them at the same time And like I said...narrow minded men...
JC

Do I need to draw a picture for you Preach, would that work? Oh better yet Wikipedia it...we can agree to disagree because both definitions are in there...
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

Yeah 2 men. 1 woman equals train
2 women 1 man equals threesome
2 brothers 1 woman equals ghey ghey ....ghey
JC

Look to each is own...Wikipedia has my definition and yours and SINCE this is MY memory, complete with pictures.
missmaloriejm

@NakedWithSocks Being bisexual doesn't mean you have sex at any higher rate than anyone else. Means you're attracted to women and men.
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

But that is more a lust thing...to seriouslydate someone most men don't want that.
To seriously date a dude that likes beef and fish reeks of desperate. There's more than enough straight men for straight women. You don't need to dip in the gay pool for a dude...seriously how would u feel if looking at your mans porn collection he had a couple No women at all movies
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

No no no...your right
that's too much of a committment for a dude to make
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

No one should CUM between family.

*See what I did there
JC

There isn't a "how to". We had talked about it jokingly a few times and then one night with some drinking and some drugs and one thing really lead to other. Maybe I shall add to the list of guest post to write.
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

I'm sure you were between them (or they between you) at some point in the tryst but yes the earlier comment about sibling rivalry speaks to the preexisting issues.
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

No a threesome has all THREE parties have to be involved at the SAME TIME...otherwise it's a two guy or two girl train being ran...one person waiting/watching does not a threesome make
Li-Li

Sorry, not in this life time or the next
MonaLisa

With one girl and two guys all parties can be involved. The girl can be giving one guy head while the other guy is banging her...and many more options. But I guess you would have to had had the experience to know ; )
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

No involved with each other..everybody doing everybody...
Everybody touching each other...that's a threesome
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

Ok
1: I'm not narrow minded even with one in the front and one in the back thts still a train
2: threesomes tend to have everyone involved with EACH other..no switchhitting

3: Again I'm not narrow minded I'm hetero minded...for men to have a real threesome involving another man they have to gay because other wise it's group sec or a train

my views are the culmination of being raised around old school brothas that ain't play that sweet stuff...
Hate it or love it
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

The question I always have is how does a threesome even start? I assume liquor and other intoxicants are involved, cause in my life at least i can't just see sitting around with two women and all of a sudden something pops off while we're watching the cartoon Network. LOL

Perhaps you can write a how to, especially curious to know how that happens with relatives.
R.e.D

@Quoteman, I would have to agree completely with your statement.
Rastaman

Son, if you worried about how it got started, you probably not ready for what is going happen!!
http://nwso.net/ NWSO

LMAO
Rastaman

Any more desperate than the folks involved in the polyandry relationships. There are a significant amount of women who are sharing the same men whether knowingly or unknowingly. So I would say the desperation is already here.

All these behaviors have been in existence for a very long time, they just been under cover. I would say if its not for you then do your thing because the longer you live the more suprised you will become at the folks who are living these alternate lifestyles. Could be a family member or a next door neighbor.
iranturave

you been sitting around with the wrong 2 women... lol
http://iranturave.wordpress.com iranturave

sexuality is not limited to gender, try the kinsey scale, its rates sexuality on a scale. I don't see how as a woman its ok for me to be all up on another woman and be bi or straight for that matter but a man who does the same difference is gay. I don't understand nor calculate that in my world of sexuality.
http://iranturave.wordpress.com iranturave

I believe there are grades of sexuality. desires, wants, needs and norms. We don't all fit into a box of sexuality no more than we fit in a box based on looks or intelligence.
http://preachthetruthteller.blogspot.com/ Preachthetruthteller

I'm anti threesome /train due to what happened to me in college. Met a woman was real cool kicked it..she said due to her being in a new space she put sex on hold..cool no prob.. Well she told me EVENTUALLY that right before we met she hosted a card party that turned into a 5 way ..her and 4 dudes...my thoughts were..u didn't like them so they could hit it same night...(her words) she liked me too much to give it up quick like that...
My thoughts were that she was a litle too out there to come up with that logic
http://iranturave.wordpress.com iranturave

Yea I'm not sure about brothers, cuz how do brothers decide they wanna start having threesomes, that can't be a one time thing, I mean where they up one night in their bunk beds and they just decided hey, lets um watch either other. I mean for you great, but who wants to see their brother have sex???
But I've heard twins who've done that...
Chellz

I will continue to LABEL it desperate.

I feel the same about any man looking to seriously date a bisexual women.
Justme

you said it perfectly! If someone I was dating was banging men, then hell naw! But if I going in both directions, most men would not give a damn!
NaeSoBitchie

There is no such thing as. "Bisexual" man!! Once a man suck/fk a dick. U r a full pledged ~~Fa**ot. Queer. Ho*o~~. Sorry it is what it is!
JC

How is it easier to understand twins and acceptable? The brothers were two years apart in age, one was 20, the other 18 and I was 18...so no bunk beds involved, lol
NaeSoBitchie

Yes there's a duble standard when it come to men and women, and sexuality!!
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Makes sense to me. And that's all she wrote.
QuoteMan

First things first, If you know any dude who needs some scale to gauge his sexuality, please, save him all the trouble - he's gay. Lol That's that.

Now, there are certain things about the gender - no matter how you twist it or try to rational it - the same rules cannot be equally applied to both, with sexuality being a prime example. Women have a natural inclination to be more comfortable in certain situations with the same sex without a concern. Men on the other hand, by nature, the same does not hold true for us. Women could hold each other, walk half-naked around each other, go to Victoria secret for underwear together", use the restroom together etc. and no red flags would be raised. If men do any of these, all hell should break lose ......Lol. It is what is, I didn't make the rules. Lol.
kaydub

i'm sorry me being a woman i just couldn't be with a man that has been with another man...... but i would thank the guy for being honest with me.. and it would be no hard feelings....
http://iranturave.wordpress.com iranturave

im not accepting nor denying, I'm questioning my own awareness, yes... what I was doing was relating I've heard of the scenario but from the aspect of twins. I don't judge any aspects.
knighthonor

I want to know what Men think about dating Bi Women? how does that effect you?
chevey

I have no problem dating a woman who is bi sexual, Have known many women who were bi. To me they are the greatest lovers i have ever had.
Anonymous

I am a bi man. Dating in my twenties was exciting fluid wonderful. It was the best of both worlds. Then I had a series of monogomous straight relationships. One lasted for 5 years. No dating in my late 30's mostly online it is the worst of both worlds. Biggotry misinformation stereotypes abound. I should have just stayed in the closet - but Really I am glad I have been out. But for real many gay men and many many straight women don't understand or care to understand. So I started dating other bisexuals and found my female partner.

For real you guys what it means is I will have man crushes and woman crushes but I remain faithful in my relationships. Just think about it a man who can make wild passionate love with you and have excellent taste in furniture, art, and all the finer things in life.
Starisa218

I would absolutely not date a bisexual man. I don't care if seems judgmental or against this newfound sense of "openness" that seems to be the mantra of society. To me, it is a total and complete turn-off to have sexual relations with someone who has been sexually attracted, aroused, or in love with someone from the same sex. Some of the comments I have encountered on this forum are appalling. People saying that the are uncaring what their partner has done in the past. However, doesn't it occur to anyone that what people engage in speaks for their character? I'm sorry, but the act of sex regardless of the number of occurrences does not make it any more futile or less significant. I am firm in my beliefs and I won't apologize for my opinion. More power to the people willing to consider a sexually questionable person as a prospective boyfriend, but I will still to a firm heterosexual.