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Should Girlfriends Be Jealous of Strippers?

Posted by NWSO • March 2, 2011 • Printer-friendly

WORDS BY SIMPLY MEN & WOMEN

My fascination with strip clubs began when I started taking pole dancing classes to recover from a horrible break up. It was then, when I was an 18-year-old freshman at Butler University, that I met my first real-life stripper, who, for the sake of her protecting privacy, we’ll call “Pepper.”

She was African-American, tall, gorgeous and looked too healthy to shoot up heroin or snort cocaine (or any sort of substance for that matter). She was a smart woman, a student, who needed a way to pay for school when her mother suddenly became very sick.

I grew up in a very conservative household so a lady going to a strip club was viewed as “wrong.” However, I had always wanted to go and when Pepper told me she could get me in I jumped at the opportunity. Sadly, I ended up being asked to leave due to being underage at the time. If that counts as being kicked out, I'll use that for "street cred." LOL

Since then, I’ve visited three other establishments: Jaguar's (Charleston, SC), Boomer's (Smyrna, GA), and The Top (Gainesville, GA). All are good clubs and I’ve always viewed them as a source of unique entertainment, kind of like a "big kids' circus!" I've gone alone and with a boyfriend and, regardless, if you’re respectful towards the dancers or not, they will take care of you.

But why do women worry? Should we?

Yes and no. For those ladies that have never been, let me break the strip club down for you.

First, you need to understand the basic components of a strip club. Obviously, there’s the stage and the pole, but the closer you sit, the more you’re expected to tip. No exceptions. If your man sits here often, I wouldn't worry (unless you’ve got delinquent bills) because it’s too out in the open for anything too inappropriate to go down.

Secondly, there’s the bar. I personally avoid this section. I have ended up ripped off, broke, puking, embarrassed, and way too drunk thanks to some delicious Cherry Bombs. On occasion, smoking and food can be found at the bar too, as well as most of the girls. Big surprise, huh?

Then, you have the V.I.P. and Private Dance rooms. I have been in both. Here is how each works.

After one of the girls approaches you and you agree to a private dance, you both go into a booth usually with a curtain. Boobs will be shoved in his face and she will start grinding on his lap. He can touch everywhere except the crotch region. Well, at least that’s been my experience. Someone usually tracks who goes in and out of private dance rooms. While it could be possible for a stripper to exchange sexual favors in a private dance booth, I’ve found it is highly unlikely. She could be caught somewhat easily and both parties could get arrested. Another fact to keep in mind is that some of these ladies make five or six figures a night so do you really think they would want risk that for a few extra bucks? Unless he frequently blows a lot of money or is known to buy frequent dances, I wouldn’t worry too much, ladies.

Now, as for the VIP rooms, do worry about these! In general, these are not monitored, tend to come with free alcohol, and I’ve personally been told that "anything goes" here. Not quite sure what that means, but your guess is as good as mine.

The best advice I can give to any woman concerned about their man going to a strip club is to go with him—just you two. It could make for an interesting bit of visual foreplay and you could pick up a few tricks of your own in the process. Personally, I’ve found that men are usually fine with taking their lady along. If not, that's a definite red flag because if he has nothing to hide then it shouldn’t be a big problem.

And for the fellas, sometimes y’all forget that a stripper's job revolves around fantasy. Sorry, guys, it’s a BUSINESS! Their salary is based purely on commission so the more convincing they are the more they make. Chances are the stripper isn't interested in you, only your money.

So, what if your man doesn't tip enough or buy a private dance? In general, the stripper will politely find someone who will. So, if you're worried, go with him and talk to him if it bothers you. I have never found a stripper to be anything but respectful to me when I’ve gone and they’re typically more responsive to women, anyway.

Ladies, would you get upset if your man went to the strip club often? Would you be more upset at him spending money to look at other women or the fact that he even went? What would you do if you found out your man paid for sex at a strip club? Would you be less upset if he just got head? Would you be interested in going with him to the strip club? Have you ever used stripper moves in the bedroom? Would you take a pole dancing class? Fellas, have you ever done anything at the strip club that your girl would be mad at? Do you have a problem taking your girl with you? What’s the most you’ve spent in one night at the strip club? Was it worth it? What happens in the champagne room?

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Tagged as: champagne room, jealous, lap dance, strip club, strippers

EntertainmentsFuture

It would probably bother me that my man is frequenting a strip club. I would be more upset if he was spending money to watch women and not taking care of financial necessities. But I'd probably still be upset period. I can understand, going for celebratory reasons, but NOT as a hangout. If I found out my man paid for ANY sexual favors I would be LIVID. Well its actually happened to me before and that situation did not end to well....
Rastaman

Strip clubs have never been really enticing, been to a few that were interesting but most times they were personally underwhelming. I have just never been one for the tease. Taking my woman to strip club as never really came up, I have dated women who have been with their friends but I was never interested in doing it with her.

I have been to a few all nude clubs like in Miami where half the patrons were women but considering how hot the ladies there were, I can definitely understand. One of the reasons I find strip clubs unappealing is that I have a problem paying women my hard earned money to tease me.
prettygirlndmv

@NakedWithSocks i don't think so. I dated a guy that would go. It didn't bother me at all. He was upfront about it.
T Romeo

Strip club with my man, is GREAT...I have always enjoyed the experience. It definitely makes for very interesting fourplay. I always tell my girlfriends not to worry as long their relationships are strong and healthy and if they arent, then they have much bigger issues than strippers. My man says he gets way more attention when I am with him, which I know to be true from going with other male friends. Just another way to keep the spice in things
chmijo

@NakedWithSocks If GFs are smart, they would learn a trick or two n take it back to the bedroom w the BF. #MisplacedJealousy
http://www.simplymenandwomen.com/ Christine Vega

Yeah, when I found out that my ex had received a blow job from one, I slapped him in the face with my purse and my camera hit him and left a nice little mark. It can be a fun date, interestingly enough. I can respect the professional dancers, but, not the ones who turn tricks of any sort on the side.
http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com/ NikkiB

I'm fine with strip clubs. In general, I have no problem with a partner hitting one up.

I've been thinking a lot lately about monogamy and relationships - our impulses to be with other people, watch other people, etc, and if that needs to impact our relationship. Personally, being fine with your partner checking out a strip club means you trust them, and that your relationship is not something that can be jeopardized by a stripper. It's more than sex and physical attraction.
ALIG83

What's there to be jealous of?
Dave

The men's strip club is a lot more tamed than a lot of women have convinced themselves. Most guys would be surprised what can go on at the clubs for women.
Dave

"Yeah, when I found out that my ex had received a blow job from one, I slapped him in the face with my purse and my camera hit him and left a nice little mark."

Hmmmmmmmm.....
Corey

The shake junt is cool. I'm not to big on sponsering chicks so you won't ever really see me blowing any bread in there though. The VIP room is quite the interesting place and yes, everything is indeed a go. If you got a dude that likes to cheat, he's going to do it. If you got a dude that likes to trick off money, he's going to do it. It's not you. It's him.
Shequita

This is very true, you can touch any part of the male stripper and objectify him in anyway. I think the main difference is, the male strippers dont give a damn, so its allowed. A man in a g-string gross, off topic but thought I'd bring it up!
EntertainmentsFuture

What wrong Dave? Whats the "hmmmmmm" about?
jaclynsd

I’ve actually gone to Strip Club w/a guy I was dating a few years back. To be honest it was not at all what I expected. I totally thought it was going to be this raunchy place w/a bunch of ugly guys drooling and what not. But it actually turned out to be pretty cool and very eye opening. When I looked around most of the men weren’t even paying attention to the women and most men where very attractive. What I saw was just men wanting to be men sort of speak. To be able to look at a woman in a sexual way and nothing else w/out the judgment and the side looks lol It was more of a sports bar environment w/strippers of course. I ended up talking to a few of the girls and they were like the writer said smart, outgoing and very beautiful. One thing was clear to me though the men where clear on it being a fantasy. I not only went w/my date but like 5 of his boys and most of em where pretty clear the woman where doing it for money. It was not only an even exchange but a clear one which I’m sure makes things more comfortable. Kind of like I have money and you have as$ so lets do this lol But seriously I realized there really wasn’t much to worry about except for the private rooms like she mentioned.

My date and I got a private dance and that too was an eye opener. I had talked to the woman so it wasn’t as uncomfortable when she was dancing for me and um rubbing herself on me. Just like the writer said, boobies all in your face. I went into it though w/an open mind. I’ve never had a woman on my lap and her skin next to mine. At first I was so uncomfortable but as I relaxed I was able to see why men love us so much. We are very beautiful creatures, very dif from men. We are soft, sensual, our bodies move in a special way so that all our curves are like roads on valleys. Our hair flows beautifully as we move and it’s a beautiful sight to see. I was in awe of this woman and in awe of myself if I looked like that. Mind you she’s a stripper and not a regular looking woman but still I can see why men would love to be next to us. After it was done one of my dates friends asked “what are you doing here, you gay?” I was like no not at all and after that dance I’m even more sure of it. Although the woman was beautiful, I in no way was sexually attracted to her. But I did learn a lot and trust me all to my benefit. Seeing what men see has just given me a lot to work with in the bedroom and totally to both our advantages One thing that was a negative was she left her scent on me and that grossed me out because a man scent on me is very intimate. So when I had her scent it kind of repulsed me in a way but knew I’d be home to wash it off soon.

My advice is the same go w/your man and make a night of it. If your single go w/some guy friends and girlfriends so at least you know what goes on in there instead of imagining the worse like I did.
Starita34

Going to strip clubs is fun for me usually (sometimes I get emo and feel sorry for the strippers-then other times I've been known to make out with one and smack her ass so loudly that the entire club nearly broke their necks to see what was going on ova cheer-ah).

I'd have a problem with my man wasting significant amounts of money there, and if her were disrespectful to the ladies; but outside of that, women are everywhere at least at the strip club the lines are clearly drawn as to why each party is there. So jealous of the club? No. And going with your man can be fun, but you have to understand that that's his getaway...you can't always go with him...it's not the same for him.
CharlotteJ

I have mixed feelings. I do not like to go to strip clubs. I think they are kind of seedy and appeal to the lowest common denominator. They also make me feel insecure. I know it is irrational, but that is my feeling. I have a 24 hour rule. If my man decides to go to a strip club, that is fine. The only thing is that I will not let him touch me for at least 24 hours. I do not want him thinking about strippers that flirt and grind on him for money and then get all excited and unload in me. I am not a substitute.
QuoteMan

That's just nasty!!!!! Lol
Starita34

Uh...going to a strip club and getting head from ANY woman that's not me are two entirely different beasts and I'd loose every speck of my cool if that happened.

And I may be wrong, but I judge men that have to pay for sex anyway. #Judgmental
Starita34

^^^Agree x3 Mon Amie
#OnMyDrSeuss
Starita34

Oh Lawd! Please don't you~~p0rn~~tube male strip clubs...women lose their everloving minds! Why you paying that man for YOU to give HIM head!?!? #Gross

O_O <--me watching those videos, for research purposes of course
Starita34

"What I saw was just men wanting to be men sort of speak. "

Precisely...which is why ladies, you can't always go with him...
YErdanos

I went to a strip joint once...funny story but I wouldnt have an issue if my other half went to a strip club. Id be more concerned at him going to a club.And I would definitley join if he asked me and in fact I would even suggest we go together.. Stripping is an art form..lol
http://www.nwso.net NWSO

I think you're missing out (MHO). Nothing better than a riled up lover coming home to take out their frustrations on you. I can understand if he's thinking about them still but if not it should be all to the good.

Would the same 24 hour rule apply if he watched porn?
YErdanos

Oh.. I would never ever go to see males strippin! I met a male stripper once and the stories he told me had me throwing up in my mouth.. I felt dirty just him standing next to me and when he asked for my number I gagged! LOL
Starita34

Or a pretty woman in the street? Or the cover of a magazine?

I'm curious, where do the mixed feelings come in? Seemed like you are pretty clearly anti-strip clubs for your man...just curious, no judging. Glad it works for ya'll.
AConleyCreation

I would not be cool with my dude going to ANY club frequently. If you're in a relationship, what business do you have to be out clubbing all the time? I know of men who do this every weekend and it wouldn't be kosher with me.

As for a strip club, I don't have a big problem with it and I don't feel the need nor desire to come along. Women tend to think that they can prevent men from cheating with limitations and rules. But if he's gonna stray, he'll do it whether you have any say in it or not.
Dave

You got it. I mean really nailed it.
DH

Ladies, would you get upset if your man went to the strip club often?
Yes.

Would you be more upset at him spending money to look at other women or the fact that he even went?
I would be wondering why he went if he didn't tell me first.

What would you do if you found out your man paid for sex at a strip club?
Before or after I broke up with him? LOL

Would you be less upset if he just got head?
I am with the person above who said that this is apples vs. oranges. Going to the strip club to view a few dances is one thing, but receiving sexual contact is another thing.

Would you be interested in going with him to the strip club?
I've never considered it. Interesting.

Have you ever used stripper moves in the bedroom?
Not yet.

Would you take a pole dancing class?
Sure.
http://whatsonmymind09.blogspot.com Marcia H.

I personally am a fan of strip clubs. I have no problem with them. If my man chooses to go that's fine. Hell he may end up seeing me there! LOL! The only way it would become an issue is if he neglects me and spends up all his money. Therefore he needs professional help. I would probably laugh and be mad if my man paid for sex from a stripper. And then think he was pitiful b/c he paid for it... oh and don't let him say he's in love! HA! He's gonna get clowned! I plan on one of these good ol days to take some pole daning classes and put my moves to good use
http://whatsonmymind09.blogspot.com Marcia H.

I've messed around and seen some of those videos..... and yeah them women lose they f-ing mind!!! Like they ain't never seen no d**k before! It's crazy....
Miss Sia

I love strippers. Not all, but the good ones.
I take pole dancing, its one of the more challenging things Ive done.
torontostaar

noooooo b/c the stripper is just a fantasy in darkly lit room, turn on all the lights in that joint and you c section scarrs, cellulite, saddle bags and generally normal women with ACTUAL LIVES not a fantasy on a pole, so why get jealous? if anything im feeling sorry for the guy whos spending all his chips on women who wouldnt look @ him in the streets