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4 Things Men Need to Realize About Women

Posted by NWSO • March 28, 2011 • Printer-friendly

WORDS BY PREACH THE TRUTH TELLER

There’s been a trend in the media that has hammered Black women continuously about why they’re single. Well, one thing is being left out in the reports dear readers. There just ain’t that many real men to go around. Somewhere along the line between man and boy the signals got crossed.

I grew up around real men who knew what manhood was. Protect, provide, and guide where the tenants they lived by. They got up, went to work and came home to be a family man. No matter if they were priests or gangsters they handled their business like men. However, these days the men seem to be soft as Twinkie fillings. So for all you soft brothers out there I’ve taken the time out to meet with other real brothers and give you a step-by-step guide on how to change your ovaries back into testicles. It’s gut-check time, fellas.

1. WE CAN’T WIN ARGUMENTS WITH WOMEN
One of the rules of manhood is that you know your limitations. Michael Jordan was great at basketball but would probably make a horrible hockey player. (He definitely sucked at baseball). Men tend to not have the same ability of emoting verbally that way women can. On occasion, an individual you’ll find a man that can go word for word with a woman. That’s not a good thing, dude—it really isn’t. Namely because you’re a man that can outtalk a woman, which is almost scientifically impossible. You have way too much estrogen influence around you if that’s the case. Men do not argue, we state our point and leave it at that. Now, if you’re extra smooth you can transition that into something else but this is the 101 course not the graduate level.

2. FLOSSIN’ ONLY WORKS ON YOUR TEETH NOT WOMEN
Here is a little hint for you weak dudes out here. Normally I would charge for the game I’m about to drop but NWSO is the big homie so I’ll let this one slide. Real women don’t care about your pockets, jewelry, car or whatever you use to mask your deep insecurities—only average women care about that. They care because while they aren’t a top tier woman; they still want to appear to be with an above average man. Ergo the reason why you attract so many ’hood rats and ducks when you in the club, fellas. See, the top tier women tend to be starving for decent conversation. Most men tend to scare easy and the ones that actually come up and approach women are fueled by ignorance. So fellas, save the flossin’ because you’re showing short money anyway. That long money tends to kill the need to be flashy. Need proof: Compare someone like Gucci Mane to a Bill Gates and you’ll see the show of money is different. Gucci has chains and rings that cost houses—literally. Meanwhile Bill Gates’ great, great, great, great, great grandchildren will be rich. Let it marinate…

3. BEING EXTRA DOESN’T ATTRACT REAL WOMEN—JUST LAUGHS
You know who you are. We see you out at the party downtown, the club, the concert, the birthday party around the way… You like the expression on people’s faces when they see you. For some reason you find it cute when people laugh as you pass by. If we don’t get you then we hate on you. Take off the fur coat in the summer time, dawg. Stop wearing the vest with no shirt. I mean is your chest cold but arms are hot? STOP TRYING TO GET ATTENTION!!!! Just stop. Nothing is more pathetic than a man being extra for no damn reason besides attention whoring. Dude, if you want attention how about trying to be Employee of the Month, Father of the Year, most community service hours… Something that actually requires taking the focus off of you and putting it into something worthwhile.

4. WOMEN CRITIQUE YOU TO MAKE YOU BETTER
This is very simple, weaklings; stop taking honest critiques and misconstruing them into “hate” comments about you. What are you, a rapper? Now I’ll admit sometimes people don’t like you for petty reasons. But come on, man, stop acting like Chris Brown. Take it on the chin and man up. Stop whining about the “haters” and do something. There's not too much else to say on this one other than the obvious. You’re 33, dawg, nobody hates on you they just don’t like you.

So, fellas, class is over and I hope you learned something. If not, then please enjoy being the butt of many a joke. Happy No-More-Punks-Day everybody.

Do you feel there’s a lack of understanding of manhood and womanhood these days? Who’s at fault for not passing on those ideals? Are women better arguers than men or do they just like to argue more? Do you agree that men are more likely to state their opinion and keep it moving rather than argue? How impressed with material items are women really? Do those things make a difference in how you view someone? Are people who crave attention turn you off? Ladies, what else do you think men need to know about what works with you? Fellas, what did you think of Preach’s tutorial?

Speak your piece...

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Tagged as: battle of sexes, communication, men, relationship, women

http://amberyum.blogspot.com AmberYum

If all Black Men could just read this! I've been saying these things for the longest! Especially about men not arguing. The men in my family never argued so I look for that in my man, but so many like to yap off right along with me so it never works. And yes, I do critique that special man if I feel that he's lacking because I want him to better for himself and in life. Great post!
Man2.0

Over generalized BS at it's finest...
Lonias

"Dude, if you want attention how about trying to be Employee of the Month, Father of the Year, most community service hours… Something that actually requires taking the focus off of you and putting it into something worthwhile."

I WILL be quoting you!

I will say this, fellas, sincerely: #4 is the TRUTH!!! We are NOT trying to tear you down. And if you consider your lover your friend, good friends tell each other when they're slippin. Of course, a word of caution: #4 holds weight when it comes from the woman described in #2...
paulette_bajan_gal

In reference to #2...For the love of life,liberty and happiness...STOP pulling out your wallet and counting your money when you see a beautiful woman.It is a HUGE turn off..I repeat...it is a HUGE turn off.I have lost count of how many guys do this on the subway.

Also...please don't hit on me while I'm sitting in a restaurant eating.Don't try talking to me while I'm on the phone.I really think someone needs to school some men on what is rude behavior and what is appropriate behavior.A male friend thinks I keep bitching about how dudes approach me and wonder how I still manage to date but I am not attracted to unmannerly men....no matter how good you look.First impressions are serious to me.It tells me a lot about your character.

Intelligent conversation??A rare trait nowadays.I rarely see guys even reading books or doing crossword puzzles and such on my daily commute.A game of Scrabble is foreplay to me.
Lonias

@Paulette
*sighing in agreement*
WMnotaGYRL

I can NOT express how true numbers 2 & 3 are. When will they ever understand???
http://www.AConleyCreation.com AConleyCreation

Sure, these are generalizations, but there's a decent and light tone to it. I have to say Preach, I expected something more sensational, so I'm glad it wasn't.

I do agree with you on these, and see that the same could apply to women as well, in general: feeling the need to argue (and I mean ARGUE, not debate); being all showy with the goodies; the hating. It is not attractive for women to diss other women (or anyone at all, really).

I do disagree on your point of real manhood meaning handling his business, whether he's a priest or a gangster. To me, a real man doesn't feel the need to be a gangster, thug, conman, hustler, etc. A real man takes care of business legally, safely, and responsibly.
God’s Gift (aka Shay from LA)

Loved the post. So, true and very funny.
RUru_sez

Loved it! I agree with everything especially the flossing and attention whoring. Not appealing at all.
Preachthetruthteller

Aww thank you
Thank you
Thank you
METLIFESNOOPY

*I used to work as a Teller, and there was this one guy who would come up to the window, say he needed to make a deposit, pull out a knot of money, and then search through it for 'small bills' to make a $60.00 deposit.

As far as #2 goes, I wouldn't say it's a real vs average woman thing because real and average aren't antonyms. More like a genuine vs disingenuous thing.

#1 seems silly. I am a woman, but I know men who could out-talk me any day.

People who crave attention definitely turn me off. I've never been one to indulge in the theatrics of other people.

Guys need to know that repeating "How you doing" or "Hi you doing" several times is not a pick-up line. Guys also need to know that at NO TIME IS IT EVER APPROPRIATE TO FOLLOW WOMEN IN YOUR CAR! It also isn't appropriate for a man to go out of his way to look for a woman he saw walking down the street. I've lost count the number of times I have had men follow me across a parking lot or do a turn down a street to come back up and look at me.
JC

Preach, usually we don't agree on much but I am 100% behind you on this post. My favorite being #4. So many times I will make a critique or bring an action into light and I am being called a hater or too judgmental...I do it because I care.

Attention whoring NOT my cup of tea. I am a low-key person in demeanor and speech, and dress. But I have been told that when I walk into a room I command attention. That is because I carry myself with confidence and purpose. I'm comfortable from within. Nothing is sexier to me than a man that is confident from within. Not because of his clothes or car but because of who he is as a man.

#1, in my case is very true...I will out-talk a man any day
http://theevolutionofem.blogspot.com menluvmysmile

Great post Preach. One question, what is a duck?
Lisa

Good post Preach & oh so true.
NinaG

I thought I was the only one who experienced this counting money thing....it happened to me while I was at the public library. This dude just sat next to me, pulled out a big stack of cash and just started counting...
Preachthetruthteller

A duck is a nightfighter
A man or woman that you have so little attraction it needs to be darker than midnight for you to sleep with them
Britt

Oh love this post.... Every man in Atlanta needs to read this. Especially #2 this dude I met at the bar last week just so happened to tell me he had on $500 Brooks brothers shoes. First of all I didn't ask you what kind of shoes you had on, that doesn't impress me. You have $500 shoes but do you have a 401k?? Yeah, I left him and that pbr beer he was drinking at the bar.
Preachthetruthteller

Really?
Dudes pull out wads if money and count it?
Thi is literally the first time I've heard of dudes doing that
http://theevolutionofem.blogspot.com menluvmysmile

LMAO - that is pure jokes. Thanks Preach!
Rastaman

The easy thing to say is that there is a lack of understanding of manhood and womanhood but my view is that it has changed, whether if it’s for the better or worse, I do not know. But I am going to have to disagree with the thrust of this piece. Preach bought into the how things appeared to be not how they really are…..you see that is part of the problem we have today and represents so many of the examples you have used we are all buying into the image. His image of manhood/womanhood is just different from the one he is condemning. They are both competing smoke and mirrors.
I have Uncle Jess who is 80+, in speaking with him about his life I have learned to understand that we people are capable of anything. He is a man who 20+ kids with several different women who would give him anything but yet most of them hardly know him. Instead they grew up on their mother’s stories of his largesse and street legend. My uncle is no man for anyone to look up to unless you planning on living an outlaw life. He is an extreme example for sure but is he one of those men who represents old time manhood. Puhleeeze!!
There are other numerous examples in my life I know and I am much older than most of the readers on here and I had I known many older men growing up. My late maternal grandfather had ideals too, one wife, 11 kids and was religious and well respected in his rural community. He was my uncle’s father if there was ever a person to idealize he would be it.
The point is you are looking at this issue with rose colored glasses. Women have historically been drawn to men who appear as if they could provide financial security. When you have nothing, dookie chains worth houses look pretty secure. Some women are of course smarter about it and will look for the men with long term potential but the broke dude is not going to be in the running for the best women by any means. How often are dudes with something going on seeking out homily chicks for their wives?
No matter how substantive that woman may be she is not going to get a lot of play.
The reason thing appear so messed up is because of the confusing messages we send young people. We sell them myths because we are afraid to tell them the truth. As if the truth is more dangerous than lies we use to spare their feelings.
http://www.magz725.blogspot.com Maggie

Nothing short of the truth. I know a few guys who could benefit from this lol. Lately I've been meeting so many boys are are CONVINCED they are men for the same reasons stated above and it is a pain watching they tote around their shoulders thinking "I AM THE man".
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

And a man would say that. *raises eyebrow*
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Man listen.....

It's more common than you think. Went to a club a little over a year ago with a (former) friend. This cat pulled out a huge wad of money like he was the shit. I was like "N____ please." Stuff like that doesn't impress me at all. Show me your nice apartment or house. Show me your ID for work, which signals that you have a job. Let's talk about the uprisings going on in Libya, Bahrain, Yemen, Qatar, Egypt..... in Wisconsin, Montana, Indiana..... THEN I might be impressed. Might. Because my thinking is this:

I may not be rich. I may live paycheck to paycheck. But dammit, I can provide for myself and have done so for a long time. I don't need your money (well, in a fantasy world I do) or your flashy jewellery. Let's build together.
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

*clicks the thumbs up button*
Mommy T-Rex

OMG!! OMG!!! SO true! SO right! For some reason men are "dumbing" down manhood. There is a real lack of confidence and balls. #2 and #3 seem to be prevalent.
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Farewell. *freefalls*
Shequita

There's nothing more sexy than a man NOT willing to argue with me over EVERYTHING. He simply states his point and leaves you there arguing with ya damn self!
Shequita

#2 Is very true, there are insecure men that lead with their money and then they acquire these nats perpetrating as women and THEN the insecure man cries "she was a gold digger." Thats like a woman advertising her puss and then getting mad when thats all the man wants from her!
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Girl yes. I don't even argue much myself..... Sheeeit, I'd be the one leaving him there arguing with his damn self! Like "No the f--- she didn't just walk away from me....." "Oh yes I did. I don't do arguments. Gone on and keep talking to yourself." (LMAO)

Hopefully the men are taking a few notes. Us "wimminfolk" are always told to pay attention & hang onto every. single. word. when men write stuff like this about what "'wimmin' need to do to get a man" (*cough* Steve Hardly *cough* *cough* Jimi IzntReal *cough*), so hopefully the menfolk are paying attention.
Shequita

Ive witnessed it as well, Ive also witnessed them waving it around in the club. I even told one of the fools "put ya mama's rent money back in your pocket"
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

You just gave me some much-needed life today.

*cliff dives*
Naja

I agree completely.. What can we contribute to the softening of men? Too little male role models? Too many men being raised by women? Whatever the case, men should take a good long look at their behavior.. Instead of doing too much, they should try and do better!
Preachthetruthteller

I grew up with my pops being abusive so I don't do yelling. If u a really want to win an argument as a man
You take your lady in the floor, bed,kitchen etc...and wear it out like you fresh out the pen. Then don't say nothing for the rest of the day (or week)'... Itll be long forgotten by then what caused the argument
Shequita

I gotta try that next time, Im usually the one left in the dust lol
Shequita

I know thats right! You wouldnt hear nothin out of me...well aside from the usual squeals of ecstacy!
hellifiknow

@Rastaman As another "elder" on here, I do think you have a good point. We love to cite examples of a not so distant past somehow thinking things were better. But there was a lot of secrecy and shame back then and women had far less rights. There is something to be said for values that uplift men and women. I think women should stop judging men by male patriarchal standars as the world we live in has changed. We need to develop a new view of relationships that plays to the respective strengths of the individual as opposed to parroting outmoded beliefs and traditions.
Klysha

Cosign this comment 150%. I was about to say the same thing
jaclynsd

I loved the post and agree 100% that if you don’t have your game up on being a man than this is the post for you. For the real men out there this is just stating the obvious.

Number 2 was def the one that most men need to take into consideration. One of my boys has a job and a side business. He owns two homes and is set to retire early. You don’t see him flashing anything for anyone. He has an old truck and never talks about what he has. Because what really matters to him is leaving something for his family and taking care of his mother. This is what a real man does, he handles his business, doesn’t have time to argue because he’s busy building something for himself. He doesn’t need to talk about it or flash it because it is obvious he has it…to those that matter anyway.

Being single for a few years has given me the opportunity to go on many dates and get to know men from all walks of life. This is when you see the separation between real men and little boys. This has never been because of money. Below are two examples.

CEO (35): He was smart, attractive, great in business and knew how to make a great deal of money. He was also arrogant and selfish and everything else came second to him and work. Thought that because he paid a woman little attention he could buy her pretty things and that would be enough for her.

Waiter (IT Student) (24): He was also smart, attractive and on his way to greater things…money wise and in general. Had dignity, my respect and friends and family aspiring to be like him. He knew how to make the most of every situation w/whatever you have. Valued the important things like family and friends, and leaving a good legacy behind that requires more than money. Knew that giving a woman his time and attention was worth a lot more than throwing money at her.

The sooner some men (and some women) realize that money doesn’t make you but that you make it…the better we’ll all be.
http://nwso.net Gemini

The Car Stalker! A man started following me in his car and I drove him straight to the police station. He caught on quick and turned off.
http://nwso.net Gemini

I will be anonymously mailing this to a few poindexters that need to be schooled. Thank you.

A man can win an argument with me...he just has to prove me wrong.
Lyndon

Nice post, Preach. Although I disagree with your #1. If we just stick to the primary issue, we can definitely win most if not all arguments (lol) with women. When they throw in shit that happened in the past, stay focused, and hit em where it hurts. They'll either give you a blank stare or just walk away...
Wmofyr

I agree that money counting is not attractive. And sometimes it's not young men doing that. It's the men in his late 30s or even late 40s. I'm thinking, he must don't have credit cards (or even a debit card): and he financially infantile.
Wmofyr

So sometimes the goal is the blank stare or the walk away, eh?
Lyndon

I prefer the blank stare... My niece gives me the same look when she's done wrong. I"ll take the stare... The walk off means Ive said something hurtful and soon after may have to apologize
JC

The "walk off" means..."We'll continue this at a later date...AND you WILL apologize." lol
Lyndon

JC, I dont mind apologizing as long as I get credit for the victory.
Rastaman

Chicken heads can smell corn all day and every day!!
JC

That's fine. As long as you know that by you apologizing I in a sense won...is that completely right...probably not, but it will pacify me if I think that way, lol
http://twitter.com/kjnetic peter parker

i wholeheartedly agree w/ #1...i don't argue, i state my piece and that's it. if ya wanna hear "you're right", then i'll say it, but won't believe it.

as for #4...so criticism = good thing?

really?

guess i'll be "the butt of jokes" then... *shrugs*

*swings off*
da ThRONe

The problem I have with #1 is how you define "winning". Clearly in this blog you define winning as getting in the most/last word. That is not how you determine the winner of an arguement. The winner is the party that makes the most valid point.
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Unfortunately my laptop crashed so I can't reply until tomorrow at work :-/ but I can read the comments and y'all are giving me LIFE. Good entry Preach.
yureeka9

Usually the commentary on this site is on point. But this time I gotta disagree. And I'm not disagreeing because I'm one of the buffoons you described in your four points. So let's get into this.

You started this out by saying you grew up around "real" men that protected, provided and guided. Ok, well I grew up around "real" women that didn't fuck all the frats in college, get drunk at every party and respected themselves without a sense of entitlement. They were the kind of women that a "real" man would want to protect, provide for and guide. These strumpets running around now saying they want to get posted up on a pedastal just because they have 2 X Chromosomes are full of shit. It seems women always want men to adhere to the traditional role and expectations of men but they can't or won't adhere to the traditional roles and expectations of women.

Can't win an argument with a woman?!? Say's who?!? Ok, picture this: You work hard and bring home the bacon. Your woman has messed up the money and the lights are off. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to lose that argument. You find out you been raising another man's child. I don't know about you, but I'm not shutting up until balance has been reached. She's either going to admit the wrong and make it right or she can hit the bricks. Period. Has nothing to do with estrogen levels. This is good old fashioned right and wrong.

Now how can you in one breath say men should be providers and in another one say women don't care what you have in your pockets. You must be living in Shangra La or somewhere. Women always evaluate a man on his ability to provide. And that ability comes from finance in a capitalistic society.

I agree about the attention whoring.

Nothing wrong with healthy criticism. She just needs to be able to take as well as dish it out. I seldom see that in women.
chicagogirl

now you know good and well they aint gone read it lol..gone be like somebody just hating and throw it away..dont waste ya stamp money on em baby lol
thethrill

Q = Do you feel there’s a lack of understanding of manhood and womanhood these days?
A = Yeah, b/c women have the authority of what a "real" man is. #shrugs

Q = Who’s at fault for not passing on those ideals?
A = Fathers r absent so boys r learning by trial and error.

Q = Are women better arguers than men or do they just like to argue more?
A = Chris Rock said it best; men can't win arguments w women b/c we're handicapped by the need to make sense.

Q = Do you agree that men are more likely to state their opinion and keep it moving rather than argue?
A = Refer to trial and error comment from above. Males LEARN not to argue w females after arguing and realizing it's a lose-lose.

Q = How impressed with material items are women really?
A = A lot, whether they want to admit it or not. From my experiences, black women, more than any other race, prefer to see success and black males cater to it by showing it w materials things. #nodisrespect

Q = Do those things make a difference in how you view someone?
A = Only when they don't keep it real about it...

Q = Are people who crave attention turn you off?
A = Frank Lucas said it best; the loudest person n the room is usually the weakest person n the room, but I'm grateful for them b/c it help girls appreciate my laid back demeanor .

Q = Fellas, what did you think of Preach’s tutorial?
A = I'm not on board but I respect his stance.
R.e.D

Preach I enjoyed the post. You did a great job and I agree with this list. However, let me say this:
I had a male friend that told me once, the only way a man would do something (like above) or say some seemingly corny come-on-line, was if it worked on some woman before. So while we may not see this as what 'real men' do, I can guarantee, they would not participate in such complete foolishness if they were not attracting women by doing so. And on a side-note, I am convinced, men love hoes. That is the bottom line.

The real meaning why males act this way is more far reaching than just the surface. For instance, I met this guy the other day. He hopped out of his luxury car, came over to me, rattled off all his accomplishments, what he did for a living, how well traveled he was and topped it off w/ his business card. All in that 5 minute(literally) conversation. Needeles to say, I wasn't interested, but that leads me back to my initial point: This worked on some woman before.
You see, in his mind, he had to prove to me how much he was 'worth' by his monetary attributes. And how can you blame him? This is what society and likely his family, has taught him to do-UPFRONT- if he intends to snag a woman. For me, it was just the way in which he went about conveying his message that bothered me. We all want to know a man is financially stable, but men simply cannot go about trying to show this, by flossin and flashing around bills.
When I first meet a man, the only thing I want is basic, stimulating conversation. No more, no less. Men have no idea how absolutely difficult this is to find nowadays.
R.e.D

@Shequita, THAT my dear is indeed sexy as hell!!!
Rastaman

I agree, I was under the misconception that winning an argument meant you changed the other person's mind. Apparently it is who gets the last word in....that would mean I have lost most of my arguments then because I don't care about the last word at all. I enjoy a lively debate myself but I do not do the meaningless arguing and if my woman wants to do that it will probably lead to her not being my woman much longer.
http://www.AConleyCreation.com AConleyCreation

I have found that the people who make declarative statements or gestures about who they are/what they have, are doing so to convince others and their self. Kinda like dudes that will brag they have the biggest... If you do, you don't have to brag about it. It will speak for itself.
METLIFESNOOPY

Unfortunately for me I travel by foot, so I have no place to hide.
QuoteMan

Chris Rock said it best, men are handicap when it comes to argument – cuz we’ve the need to make sense; women are in it for distance and irritation………… Lol.
QuoteMan

"............“the only way a man would do something (like above) or say some seemingly corny come-on-line, was if it worked on some woman before”

True indeed. And given the displeasure all the women up here have shown regarding these acts, one can’t help but wonder so who the hell is sleeping with these dudes cuz apparently, it has worked in the past.
QuoteMan

And for the record, homie, Jordan did not suck at baseball. Better recognized. smh
paulette_bajan_gal

omg...the NYC subway and venues in this city have those types of men all the time.I even went on a date with a guy that spent over $100 on our date and was really turned off.I offered to pay half and he said no but I'm thinking about how many bills he could've set that aside to contribute too.Or put that ish in savings.

I know many women who dated men who appeared to be loaded in the beginning and all types of debts and credit issues came out later on in the relationship.if you can't manage your money while dating...then it's a red flag.And furthermore I really think if the chick can't offer...even if the guy says no...to pay for something or dinner the next time around it doesn't bode well for the future finance sharing.Maybe that's just me but I think both people should be financially responsible and not depend on the other person to pay for everything.
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Oh sh!t. ROTFLMAO.
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

I think you're using the exceptions and making it the rule. The 2nd & 3rd paragraphs are filled with exceptions/generalizations. And I hope that "strumpets" also includes men who run around doing the same things that you described.

(I gotta admit though - you took it way back with "strumpet". My aunt uses that sometimes, along with "trollop".)
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

Unfortunately, more than enough women are sleeping with these cornball ass clowns. There's no excuse for the behaviors of these clowns, as they need to take responsibility for their words & actions; however, women who give these clowns any kind of play make it hard for those of us who can't be bothered with clowns. Since the clowns get away with the behaviors, they think that they can pull those stunts with all women.
jaclynsd

I’ve always wondered why anyone in a couple always has to win?! If you do win, what exactly does one get? A trophy on the mantle w/your name and sh*t that you can pull out in later arguments to point out and be like HEY YOU REALLY want to do this cause we both know how this will turn out. Please refer to trophy on mantle. I know I’m going overboard but like I told my girl who always seemed to be into being right/winning. Yes girl you are SOOOO right but are you happy I tell her. Does proving your man wrong make you both happy? You won and what exactly did you win? Oh yeah that’s right you were right. SMH

The longer two people are in a relationship the more you learn its not about being right all the time but being happy. I’m not saying to give in and be wrong all the time but make your point and have good communication. At the end of the day that’s what’s important, not that you’ve won and now your both miserable because you’re so worried about whose winning. UM REALLY?! Like I said before my girl is always right and she proves her point but trust me when I tell you she’s far from happy/winning.
http://nwso.net Gemini

True! Maybe I can burn to CD and stick it in their X-Box.
Wmofyr

I get the same blank stare sometimes from younger family. lol I still tell em what's what.
Wmofyr

Yeah, I'm laughing too.. lol
kat

Men can t win arguments with women?I have to say,it often appears like they don t even try to because they fear she won t sleep with them for some time or she ll kinda make him suffer in another way.I m sorry but I can t have a relationship with a man who can t argue with me because he fears me in some way.
And by the way - what kind of women do withhold sex as a punishment or "teach him a lesson" anyway.That s no equal relationship!

And men who brag about their homes,money,business ventures and whatnot will never be as attractive as a guy who just asks you out for a coffee.I went out with a guy for like 4 times - I thought he was deeper,more isnightful - and everytime he picked me up in another car .And he really owned all those and took me out to fancy restaurants etc.It s not like I m not used to that from my ex-boyfriends - they just never showed off like that.But I was offended because if he thought he could impress me with stuff like what did he think about me?

Women criticize either to show the man the right direction or to change him.I think you have to differ between those two.If she criticizes him to show him another way of doing something (usually better) it s fine - but she has to accept and respect it if he does it too.But if a woman slames her partner for certain characteristics - then there s something rotten in Denmark , you know?Because there are things people can work on and things they don t and even if they could - didn t most women took their men as they were?

So the thing is ,women can say to their men that they should do some sports again.If a man proposes to his woman that she should hit the treadmill he s insensitive and nearly crucial.And that just doesn t work.
R.e.D

Quoteman, there are many women sleeping with these men, just like Spinster said. The problem is, those ones don't comment on these blogs. But really, I would like to understand the perspective of women who find this attractive. I wish they would comment b/c perhaps I, and the others on this blog just have tunnel-vision and we simply need to be enlightened.
Rastaman

So it took you 4 tries in the fancy cars and the fancy restaurants to determine he lacked depth?
Makes me wonder how many tries the foot soldier in the beater who took you to park would receive....
Rastaman

Even the smartest women get involved with stupid men and their antics. Most are too embarassed to admit it of course in mixed company but they have had their moments of bad judgments. As men we know this and I think what we see from our perspective is that there is never admission on many women's part that they were that chick flocking to the guy flossin and being extra.
Even when there is admission so many still want to blame the dude in question. Accountability is attractive and we know you aren't all perfect.
Knifight

I agree with most of your post but here's what: I've been married almost 15 years to a woman who's so fine she causes car accidents. (literally). If you aren't willing to argue with a woman you care about, then you are willing to let her do something stupid. Something that hurts herself, or you, or both of you. It might be financial, it might be emotional, it might simply be something that causes her to waste some of the quality time you share. Stating your piece and leaving/walking off is a cop out. Punk b^t#h n**g** do that b.s. Real men learn how to speak clearly, and how to listen and understand where she's coming from, and then help her understand & get from where her perspective is - over to your point of view.. and if during the argument, she's points something out to you that you hadn't thought of before.(if you ain't too scare to really listen to her, & give her the benefit of the doubt that she *might* make sense at the start of an argument - you'll hear it), if it's a real point, (not some distracting b.s. just to win the argument) then consider it. Stop the discussion. Tell her to give you a minute to think about what she just said.. Be quiet for a minute and actually think - turn the idea over in your mind and look at if from different angles). You will either come to understand the essence of why's she's wrong and you'll be able to help her get better understanding of the issue, or you'll understand why you were mistaken. And if you find out that you were wrong, man-the-f-up and admit it. *OR* you'll figure out that your perspectives will just be different on the issue, and in that case you're going to need to find a way to work around the issue so that both of you can maintain your sense-of-self while respecting the other person. An no... you cannot f**k your way out of a real disagreement... out of minor a preference (say which movie your going to see tomorrow) sure.. My wife and I "persuade" each other to be agreeable on a regular basis.. but you cannot "pump" your way out of a REAL "do we or don't we buy this house" kind of argument. Cause here's the real deal: If you ain't man enough to disagree with her, and still love her, then you ain't got enough principles about you to be sleeping with her, and if you ain't smart enough to listen to her (and work with her crazy ass) on a small argument - then she'll never be able to bring the big decisions to you - the ones a woman really needs help on. Kids, parents, jobs, Grown people ish... Bottom line. If you ain't got a backbone.. then any vibrator is a good as your d*!k. It's simple: She wants a man. Be one.
Co-signer

I totally co-sign this article! Well said! And thank you!
http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com Spinster

How'd I miss this?

Bye Preach. *jumps*
SomeNoob

So am I the only one who finds it incredibly irritating when on lists of "What Men Should Know," always, and usually near the top is "you can't win arguments with women"? Why? Is there some gene carried on that second X that suddenly triggers irrationality or something? I don't understand.
El

#4 is wrong. Women critique men to change them into the kind of guy they want you to be. That makes you better for them.
El

#1 is flawed. How can a woman win an argument if a man doesn't participate in the argument??? Who is she arguing with? Makes no sense.
El

I think what he meant was arguing with women is a waste of emotional energy and you look like a petty little beyoch when you get sucked into her emotional realm. I agree with my statement, not his. Most often, women say things that are irrational and emotionally driven. These statements can easily be shut down. But why waste the energy.
El

Q = Who’s at fault for not passing on those ideals?
A = Fathers r absent so boys r learning by trial and error.

WRONG! You mean boys are being taught by women. That's why they're so screwed up and emotional.
El

Know what's funny? An elderly black woman once told me "A woman can't live like no man!". Was a simple yet profound statement.
El

Guess I'd be wondering why we were arguing to begin with.
El

Most of these dysfunctional men sisters run into were either raised by women are old school, archaic men who showed little emotion or compassion.
yarow12

Am I the only one who sees a link between the lack of men in the world and the lack of fathers present in their children's lives?