The award-winning blog covering relationships and hot button issues from an honest perspective

How Would You Describe Your Soul Mate? (Tues. w/Tee Tee)

Time sure flies. It’s hard to believe but writer/actor Barry Floyd’s (best known as Tee Tee on BET’s The Game) month-long run on NWSO is coming to an end. Over the past few weeks, Barry’s covered interracial dating, trust among friends and the importance of men knowing how to cook. With this being the final Tuesday With Tee, he decided to leave on a high note and describe what makes for a good partner and lasting relationship. Here’s what Barry had to say…

Basically, my perfect woman is somebody that could be like my friend. I know that’s kind of cliché but somebody who’s true, somebody who’s your friend that you could hang out with. Also, communication is definitely key so I need somebody that I could talk to about anything without having to feel afraid to broach a topic. Like, in that episode of The Game this season where Melanie (Tia Mowry) tried to surprise Derwin (Pooch Hall) with a threesome; I feel like in relationships communication is key so something like that should never be a surprise. You should definitely tell the person upfront. Y’all should talk about your feelings regarding something like that to see if both of you are down to do it. It should just never be a surprise. I can’t see how that could ever work out well.

What I really need is somebody that I could have what I like to call that “comfortable silence” because, you know, sometimes you’re with somebody that’s run out of stuff to say and there’s this uncomfortable silence? Well, sometimes you’re with somebody and y’all vibe so well that you could just be in the same room not saying anything and it’s just cool because you vibe so well that you don’t have to fill the silence all the time. It could never get awkward.

That’s what I have with my current girlfriend now. I was lucky because even though I was on TV when we met, the show wasn’t as well-known as it is now and my character wasn’t as popular as he is now, so I was kind of still under the radar for a little while. So I actually got with my current girlfriend at the perfect time because not too long after me and her got together that’s when my character started to become a lot more popular and I started becoming more of a recognizable face in terms of walking around the streets and stuff. So I never really had that period of having to wonder whether she really liked me or does she like the fact that I’m on TV. I’m thankful for that because when I decided I wanted to go at being an actor full force I was kind of afraid of that like, “How am I going to censor out the people who really liked me versus the people who were trying to use me because of whatever perceived status they think I have?”

I can’t really say I’ve ever got caught up in the older woman vs. younger woman thing because everybody that I’ve dated has been my age. Like, my current girlfriend is younger than me but she’s only two years younger so it’s not like there’s a huge age difference between us. I’ve always pretty much dated within my age range. If I had to choose and somebody put a gun to my head I guess I’d say older because I know some guys that have dated younger women like dude was in his late 20’s and the girl was in her early 20s and it never usually works out because that maturity level just isn’t there yet and you’ve had experiences that they haven’t had yet and if you’re trying to settle down with a relationship I feel like it’s unfair for them to miss out on all those things they haven’t done yet. But then again, my girlfriend’s younger than me, so I better say younger [laughs].

I definitely want to thank Barry Floyd for sharing his thoughts and views here on NWSO for the past month. It was a pleasure having him as a guest and I hope you guys/gals enjoyed his contributions to the site as well. If you’d like to have Barry back feel free to let him know on Twitter @Barry_Floyd and support his sketch comedy show PurpleStuffTV.com.

What are you looking for in love? Do you feel it’s essential that your partner also be your friend? How important is good communication to having a strong relationship? Do you think it’s a good idea to surprise your partner with a threesome? Or, do you agree with Barry that you should talk about something like that before hand? Are you interested in a threesome? Can you appreciate comfortable silence or do you feel that’s just a sign that you’ve run out of things to say? Do you think relationships are more solid with people that have known you before success? Could you date someone that was famous? Do you prefer to date someone younger or older? Why? What did you think of the Tuesdays With Tee Tee series overall?

Speak your piece…

 


Tagged as: , , , ,
  • @TenaciousDanni

    2 things...

    1) I look for 3 things from a potential beau: communication, compassion and consistency. After the initial attraction, that's all I need. Everything will fall into place...

    2) Is Tee Tee wearing makeup, or is that just good skin? lol, no shade. #justwondering

  • JC

    I want to adopt the 3 C's into my dating vocabulary. Perfectly describes what I am looking for.

  • Rastaman

    I stopped looking to be “in love” a long time ago and instead now focus on loving and being loved. This is not a semantic difference but a state of mind. Friendship is not important in a love affair but critical in a long term relationship. Friends are more tolerant and more likely to forgive when there is discord than those who are just lovers; friends care about the other’s well being, lovers are invested in the feelings. I generally do not like surprises and I would rather not indulge in surprises such as a threesome which can be relationship altering without knowing beforehand whether my partner would be GGG.
    My very first, very serious long term relationship was with a woman who knew the value of the comfortable silence, my experiences after her as taught me how rare a quality that is in many women. The compulsion to fill in the moment of silence with useless chatter seems to be nervous quality that I find personally unnerving. Every time we are in a room together is not necessary an opportunity to begin speaking.
    Success is relative though. Some men are insecure about post success relationships because they are concerned that the person may only be interested in what they have or do rather than who they are. But I have taken a different tact on that, for many of us what we do is a big part of who we are and we often wear those trapping of our achievement proudly. Thus we cannot fault others for being attracted to that aspect of us. Especially since so many of us consciously and unconsciously behave differently and it shows in how confident we act in the presence of others.
    Older women were always appealing even when I was in high school and dated a few 10+ years difference in my 20’s as I have gotten older I have generally stayed within the 5 year radius. Women have commonly noted that even at my age, I am a very mature behaving man. Tuesdays With Tee Tee is a refreshing difference, kudos on a little brand expanding Ans. Today the blogs, tomorrow the world!!

  • SweetCree

    I really love the "comfortable silence"! My soul mate has to be 100% authentic to the both of us and be able to make me laugh until I cry :)

  • jaclynsd

    Fav Part…”What I really need is somebody that I could have what I like to call that “comfortable silence” ”

    I’ve never really had awkward silences because I’m usually good at getting people going on any topic. But once I met a guy who was a bit closed off and the silence was SO awkward because of that…it was like even in silence he was closed off. Like he couldn’t handle any type of connection…verbal or other. I agree with Barry (shout out to Tee Tee) that the person for me not only has to be my best friend but that no words need to fill the room because our connection is deeper than that.

  • TheChosen

    What are you looking for in love?
    When I was younger I was looking for all the WRONG stuff. Money, cars, all material things. As I matured I realized that I needed to be WAITING on the man God (or whomever you believe in) saved for me. That person was not at all what I thought I should be looking for. Heck he was so much more than I knew to look for. That's why we should be so consumed in what we want and just wait on who He has for us.

    Do you feel it’s essential that your partner also be your friend?
    Yes I think this is important my future husband is one of my best friends. I know that I can tell him anything and he feels the same about me.

    How important is good communication to having a strong relationship?
    This is SO important, in a relationship if you can't tell your partner how you feel something is wrong. That can only go on for so long before you begin to resent your partner for not "knowing" something is wrong. Communication and trust are IMPORTANT.

    Do you think it’s a good idea to surprise your partner with a threesome?
    NO NO NO NO NO. In fact I think that's something you should do before you get in a relationship that could lead to marriage. Your partner in life isn't meant to be shared that is opening the door for drama.

  • Lana

    I love Barry Floyd's character on The Game so much, and his advice is good but is not as in depth or discerning when giving advice to others. I understand his character 'Tee Tee' has always be the guy with the comic relief and self-reflective one liners but let's face it he does not write all of his lines.... screen writers do so his character doesn't necessary make him an advice expert.

  • http://nwso.net/ NWSO

    Just to clarify, I don't think Barry or I painted him as a relationship or advice expert. Personally, I don't even subscribe to the idea that anyone that hasn't been in a happy long term marriage can even dare carry that "expert" title. So while I give advice I don't consider myself an expert, like Barry I'm just a man with an opinion.

    This series was merely borne from me watching the show and seeing the character of Tee Tee always giving advice and then reaching out to the man behind that character (who is also a writer first actually) to try something different on the site, add a new voice and shed light on a brother that not everyone knows.

    Think it was a good series with hits and misses as with anything #NoExpertsNeeded

    I know you weren't saying all of the above, but that's just in case anyone misinterpreted the sentiment.

    Thanks Lana

  • NaeSoSweet

    I look for Trust, Honesty, Communication, Compassion, LOYALTY, FRIENDSHIP, Some sensitivity, humor, and most of all Security (emotionally and mentally)... there's more but those r the key factors. I want sum one who isn't intimidated by my bossyness or scared to put me in my place when I get out of line, most of all I want some one who's in my corner no matter what.

  • http://jazzyknowsitall.wordpress.com Jasmyne

    I would have to say that honesty is at the top of my list when it comes to love. There's nothing I can't stand more than a dishonest person. After that I would say someone that is comedic, makes a joke and not take life too seriously. Next,someone that is strong willed, stands up for what he believes in and can protect and comfort me. I can definitely be a hand full at times so I need someone that's mellow and can balance out my crazy personality as well. Lastly, there's nothing I love more than a deep conversation. So if he can talk to me about whatever and we can have a intelligent conversation, that is a major plus! And the thing that he said about being friends is very important, also what he said about that silence that isn't awkward when you vibe with someone is so true!